₦airaland Forum

NotsonewMary:
DIY for the win mhen… Although, I’ve had a whole folder dedicated to gathering information and my exhibits for almost three years before putting in my application.

I also had sample petition letters and guidance from several friends who have also successfully gone through the process.

Thanks for sharing. I wish you a successful petition.

This is this first time I am hearing a Nigerian DIY. I know many Indians DIY but I have not seen a Nigerian before.

NotsonewMary:
Nice Checklist!

Thanks sis. Did you DIY or used an attorney to apply for your NIW?

Nigerians plenty for New Jersey na

Summerbliss:
Hello everyone, glad to be here
I have 10 years experience in accounting with a masters degree
Does anyone think I qualify for any of the EB visas , I have gone through us immigration website but I wanted to seek advice on here, thank you

1. Evidence of receipt of lesser nationally or internationally recognized prizes or awards for excellence
2. Evidence of your membership in associations in the field which demand outstanding achievement of their members
3. Evidence of published material about you in professional or major trade publications or other major media
4. Evidence that you have been asked to judge the work of others, either individually or on a panel
5. Evidence of your original scientific, scholarly, artistic, athletic, or business-related contributions of major significance to the field
6. Evidence of your authorship of scholarly articles in professional or major trade publications or other major media
7. Evidence that your work has been displayed at artistic exhibitions or showcase
8. Evidence of your performance of a leading or critical role in distinguished organizations
9. Evidence that you command a high salary or other significantly high remuneration in relation to others in the field
10.Evidence of your commercial successes in the performing arts

From the above 10 criteria, how many of them can you can provide extensive documented evidences to?

And give brief description of your claims.

With that, I can answer your question

OP. If you don't have any feeling for him before marriage, there is high chance you will not develop genuine feelings to him later if you marry him.

It's difficult for anyone to see 100pct attribute they want in a potential life partner. Having said that, everyone knows their deal breakers. If your deal breaker is height, don't move forward. But if height is just a secondary attribute, you can try to focus on other good attributes you like in him to build your feelings for him.

Please don't marry him until you have developed feelings for him. I don't believe in feelings development after marriage.

In fact, feelings tend to decrease in most marriages because both parties will become more relaxed and show their true selves. During courtship, both parties are at their best behaviours trying to impress.

Michelle70:
i dont know where u live in Nigeria but where i stay, 90% arent developing big tummies

Don't mind him. Let him be forming statistics from his head

Just because of one woman, you rush come here to say "most married women".

And you people should stop forming statistics from your head. Statistics from your head is just based on what you watch about western people on DSTV, Netflix etc and see on social media.

All women of all races develop big tummy at a certain stage of their life. Its nature of the female homosapiens.

Go to white people country and see many big tummy white women first before you conclude and form assumption in your head based on the models and actresses you see on TV.

Na wah ooo. See level of ignorance people are displaying here. Some are even saying it is caused by fibroid. Please if don't know something, shut up and don't spread false information.

Very good, IGP.

Now they can face their online clitocvrrency business squarely.

A woman should worry too if she cannot satisfy her partner. Same for men. It is part of the compatibility.

jeromestarks:
90% of married women do not enjoy sex.

You are just throwing statistics from your head. You entered every married couple beds to arrive at this figure?

And don't be deceived again, gbola is another organ of the body. No correlation between gbola size and height.

It's like saying all tall people will have bigger head or bigger brains than all short people

Make una dey deceive una self. Na dwarf men wey hold the bags go collect una girlfriends

Sweetplum:
Companionship & Procreation.
Go n read Genesis to know more.
To all who are quoting me. Marriage isn't by force. Don't discourage those who value it.
I wonder how you all train those kids you had anyhow via baby mamas or surrogacy.
What's the value you instill in them. One of the things destroying the world of today is lack of value. And its first gotten from homes.
So who are you all fooling?
I m coming with full force!
Last Drop:

Either you all cooperate jejely or stay out of marriage.
I now found out most people here in support of the op are atheists & men running away from responsibilities.
All of you no get life. Especially those atheists. I dey watch you, Una dey watch me. We dey here. Una go see weeen!

Don't mind them.

Now I see her motive for creating this thread. Her motive is men-thrashing as usual. Her fellow comrades, men haters are showing up one by one.

Now she is happy.

I even doubt she has any boyfriend earning the 100k self.

I cannot over emphasize the importance of a familiar attorney in this process.

For example, the attorney here https://www.wegreened.com/ has a very high success rate in this process but when you look closely on their reviews on their website and on avvo, you will notice majority of their successful clients are researchers and academic professionals. This attorney struggles on applicants from industries like banking, oil and gas, etc, who are not PhD holders, researchers etc.

I can also show you another attorney that is bad for researchers and good for industry professionals.

johnJS:
My spouse and I are both professionals with about 15 years work experience each in multinational organizations.

My wife has an advanced engineering degree from the US (her undergraduate degree is from the US also) so she'll be the main EB-2 applicant.

We intend to contact our relatives in the US to provide recommendations for US immigration lawyers so we can get some legal advice on putting together our application so we're just at the research and information gathering stage.

This is just by way of sharing and my own contribution towards keeping the conversation going �

With that information, my question is will your wife get a US employer to sponsor her? If not, she will have to do NIW sub category of EB2.

Then for the attorney, like I said before, familiarity of attorney to this route and to your wife professional industry is very important.

Before you retain any attorney, make sure you can see their reviews on avvo.com. While checking their reviews and websites, pay attention to the professional industry of their successful applicants. This will give you an idea if the attorney is right for your wife application.

NotsonewMary:
THANK YOU!

Well done for opening this thread too

Boliboli760:
Just wanted to give an update on the thread.I was able to stop breastfeeding in June, I gave my child fresh milk ,cerelac and solids as alternatives. I tracked my ovulation in July, funny enough i never did anything with hubby during my ovulation window but did something before and after. Found out I am now pregnant in August.

Congratulations Madam.

DBestDoc:
Some of these kids on here really do not know where to draw the line.

Not all threads are for you to contribute and this thread was created in the family section and not the Romance section for a reason.

A woman comes to ask questions about fertility and childbirth just after one child and someone is calling her a baby factory. Someone that may be old enough to be your big sister or mother. And another one is asking why she’s having a baby.


Your parents did very poor jobs raising you and i feel sorry for those that have to deal with you in real life.

You can say this again.

They put mouth in everything to talk trash even when the topic is obviously bigger than their brains.

Blessedmercy8:
And the solids you're going to introduce, is it not money you're going to use in buying it? Even the napkins, do they come cheap? Ok let's say it's a one off thing with the napkins, school fees nko?

I hear una.

What is your problem this lady?

Everyone is telling you the truth, you are just being adamant with this your mentality.

Continue to wait until you are 60 years old.

I hope you tell that your boyfriend all these you are spilling online so that the man can see your kind of mind in 3D and take a walk from you. Because you are not ready for marriage

Interesting. OP, you are a cheat! And you are still not truthful here that you have not slept with that your side chick.

You are a married man cheating on your wife and still have entitlement mentality to control how your side chick will behave online. Is she your wife ?

Imagine, you want to sue. Sue for what?

You better go and beg your wife for forgiveness. I hope she will be able to forgive you.

bukatyne:
Yes.

I think the lesson learned here is that long time separation is risky to a marriage and anything can happen within that separation time.

bukatyne:

(Sex during separation is adultery).

including 2 year separation ?

Na wah ooo. All for the foreign palli and to escape poverty?

Jovialjune1:
How will giving birth naturally be the reason you both had to separate? You are abroad, where there are suberb medical experts, can't you use other options available? Except he is an archiac man, I see that natural birth excuse as weird.

All I'll say is love yourself, value yourself, and find happiness with yourself, no one can make you happy except you, hold yourself in very high esteem and have self dignity and respect, be aware of your breaking point when it comes to marriage and emotions, do not manage, do not endure, do not suffer.

Lastly, ask him what his reaction would have been if you were the one that was involved with another man and got pregnant during your separation period, his answer should determine your next action.

She said they separated "due to some hardships". Not primarily because of child bearing difficulty.

Loveofmylife15:
Because no matter what... I do love him and I know I will never stop loving him.... but that's also exactly the reason why am not really ready to share him...

May God help me to control the Million thoughts in my head and get myself clear - in order to live a happy life again �

I can see you both share something special, special love, in the phase of this challenge.

Believe me, it's not an easy situation for all involved.

I will add that you don't rush to make any decision yet. Allow time for the initial emotional shock to pass, where you can reason better to consider many perspectives, the love you share, children involved, your happiness, etc.

johnJS:
Hello, are you able to share more details about your application processes for both the H1B and EB-1 visas? And any anecdotes about your background and the journey thus far in general. Personal identifiers could always be omitted for privacy.

I think the more that it's shared directly on this thread, as opposed to privately on PMs, the more a lot of us will be able to learn.

Thank you

All the links you need have been posted by others already.

Because I know this is alot of information to someone new to this route. I will help to brake it down.

H1b, L1 are dual intent work visas but you need a US employer to sponsor you on these visas. Dual intent because you can adjust your immigration status to Permanent Residency from such visas when you arrive or living in the US.

Eb1b, Eb1C, Eb2 advance degree, Eb3 are Permanent residency visas but they also require an employer to sponsor you.

Eb1A and Eb2NIW (National Interest Waiver) are the only 2 sub categories that you can process without an employer sponsorship. This is because those are meant for the US to pull best brains from all over the world. They waive requirements of a job offer and employer sponsorship for these two sub categories knowing that the people that will qualify can easily land a job in the US, most likely contributed quickly to US interests.

It's not always easy for most foreigners to get employer sponsorship because of the rigor of the employer passing the Labor Certification requirements to proof that the employer cannot fill that job position with US citizens or Permanent Residents. This is why many people that can get Eb1A and NIW file for themselves.

Now to file NIW or 1A, first make sure you can provide well-documented evidences to support 4 out of the 10 criteria. I said 4 to be on safe side in case USCIS rejects any of your claims.

Then look for a good immigration lawyer that is also very familiar with your field of occupation to file I140 form for you.

To look for lawyers and read their reviews, visit www.avvo.com, you can also get a good lawyer by referral.

After you get approved on I140, you move to second stage of NVC where you submit processing fees and civil documents.

Third stage is different based on where you reside when you are going through this process. If you are already living in the US legally, your third stage is Adjustment of Status route. If you are outside the US, your third stage is Consular Processing route, where you will attend immigration visa interview in a US embassy in your country of residence.

There are so many information on this route, just be specific with your questions, so that you can get specific answers.

I also think it depends on the society and culture where the marriage was formed.

In Nigeria and Africa, my advise is same as up there.

But in western world, its different. No one has house chores or financial responsibilities assigned in western culture marriages. That's their culture.

And Nigerians should stop importing everything foreign including marriage cultures.

It is not a bad thing if the wife is overwhelmed. It is the primary responsibility of the woman in the house.

Just like funding and providing for the family is the primary responsibility of the husband. The wife too can help the man in funding if the man will be overwhelmed.

OP, I see no one to blame here. You and your husband separated for 2 years, with no sexual relationship. The man thought that was the end of the marriage and you people will end in divorce.

He needs more children and decided to go home and marry someone else. The lady in Nigeria has many reasons to marry him at that point cos he was not with you at that point. Many women in Nigeria will jump into that opportunity, trust me. Apart from financial benefits of monthly sending of hard currency, there is hope of living abroad one day for them and their children.

My advise for you is this. If you can live with polygamy, continue your marriage with your husband but understand that he now has more responsibilities at home.

If you cannot put up with polygamy, you can proceed to seek divorce or separate from him.

If you decide to stay, please don't put blame on the poor Nigerian lady. It is even possible that she is also not happy that her husband is back with you. Seek peace and fairness going forward in this situation.