₦airaland Forum

odinson1:
This is another excuse,if a woman likes you, she'll always want to have sex with you. If you aren't good in the game, she'll teach you.
Women break rules for men they like,and Make rules for men they don't like.
Don't let the lies women say get in your head bro

It's not an excuse. I agree a woman can teach a man she loves how and where to touch her if the man is not the "I holy pass you" type that will later use it against her. But the woman cannot turn a 2 minutes man into a 30 minutes man. She cannot also solve the problem of an impotent man.

And God helps the man that the wife had been with men good in the room in her past life as ex's. That's more trouble for the man.

Even if the woman don't deny the man consistently, she will not be enjoying it and she will see it as a chore.

My point is that good sex can make a woman not into you initially to love or like you more. And bad sex can reduce the attraction your woman has for you.

From bad sex to impotency, at impotency level, no matter how your woman is attracted to you, she will end up hating you around her in bed.

Not in all cases though. In some cases, that might be true. In others, it might not be true.

Another reason can be that the man is not doing a good job on her. Trust me women love good sex. If oga is a 2 minutes man that don't know where to touch at the right time and how to do the work. After sometimes, the wife will not see any enjoyment in the sex with him.

Buzzapper:
in conformity with the tradition of their native village

Interesting tradition.

Rozross:
Kobojunkie please don’t comment on this thread.

why?

miccoy:
Rape should be outside marriage. If there is love, and submissiveness from the wife, there shouldn't be anything like rape.

Any marriage you hear the woman shouting my husband raped me. There were issues before the sexual act. If there is no beating, like someone already said, it's no rape! ( In marriage o).

Abi, make men too dey shout my wife wants to rape anytime we are not in the mood?!?!?

No mind am. This is why I call it woke illusion

Another woke illusion. "My husband raped me. My wife raped me."

Everyone will get sense at last in this world.

@zed7 and Fiscus105, please let's be civil with our point of views. We all know this is a sensitive topic to both males and females but we can discuss and put forward our opinions without insults.

Mindlog:

Can you tolerate and persevere if your wife is cheating on you?

@usmolad, come and answer this truthfully.

Blessedmercy8:
If the man had proposed to you respectfully because he likes the way you're industrious, and then gone ahead to marry you the right way, it would been a thing worth celebrating and emulating but now... He's only upgrading your status because pregnancy happened through reckless sex.!!! Meaning if it didn't happen, you're not worth taking to the altar.

Lets stop celebrating mediocrity. The society is getting more rotten by the day

I agree with you. It's not worth celebrating and emulating.

And @the bolded, in addition to mediocrity, we should stop celebrating bad practices in the name of being "woke".

ZIMDRILL:
the question is who is calling them allegations

is it the man or other women involved ?

those two can use the word to dismis any further questioning

The wife can have more suspicions becoz she lives with man she knows him better than anyone maybe she has seen change in behaviour in him
eg spending more away from home etc

None of here can, really help with hearing the story direct from the wife, she can tell us tge finds that support her reason to think to divorce

True but the fact still remains no one should throw their marriage out just because of allegations or suspicions alone.

If there is allegation or suspicion, the other spouse needs to try to investigate further and get some evidence or confirmation of the allegations or suspicions before throwing their marriage away, because the allegations might not be true.

Beremx:
Why not? Life goes on after a divorce. It’s better to leave than being infected by an unfaithful partner

The question is "based on allegations only"

Should spouse divorce based on allegations only.

Maybe na snake dey chop the money like those snakes that swallow our money in care of our government officials.

efficiencie:
First, Emeka should work with the wife and family of the wife to find the true father of the first child and ensure that he accepts responsibility for his actions.

Second, Emeka should conduct DNA tests for all the children and confirm whether all the other kids are his or not.

Third, Emeka should conduct a family meeting involving the parents of Sade and his own parents to explain the situation to them and ensure that both families are aware of the situation.

Fourth, Emeke needs to go on a retreat to pray, to release pent up emotions and to heal.

Fifth, Emeka should return to wife but be careful with trusting her like he used to. If she could do such an abomination and keep it to herself for 16 years she can do a lot more damage.

I like your logic here. Please permit me to build on that.

That number 2 is very important. So that Emeka can suffer all the heartbreak at once.

As for trusting the woman again. Not possible.

weaseloo:
Only husband and wife are on the application, the children are citizens by birth. The primary applicant is the husband.

For immigrant visa, the primary applicant must be interviewed first before the derivatives. In this case the husband must be interviewed first to establish his qualification for the immigrant visa.

These are their options:

1. The husband can go head to attend the currently scheduled interview, while they change interview date for the wife.

2. They can change interview dates for both of them.

Like I said before, if the files are still with NVC, NVC can reschedule their interview easily. They will just be put them back into the pool of people waiting to be scheduled for the next following month. Just a phone call to NYC is sufficient to make this happen.

There's a way to track their files location online but it's a long process. They should just call NVC that they will like to reschedule interview date. If their files have left NVC, NVC will ask them to contact the embassy.

zed7:
As for men, we have ego and we are providers. We expect to take charge and by nature, we can only take charge over a woman whom we have a higher status than.

Only men without self pride will be looking for a woman who will share bills equally with them. That is the fastest way to lose your self respect.

Thank you.

Ardar:
There's no such thing. It is the husbands insecurity and ego that feeds him the narrative.

Very good. Almost all men, I mean real men have ego. That's the nature of men.

Why is it that it's only when women believe they are successful that challenge men's ego in marriages?

1. Because most career successful women allow it get into their heads and become disrespectful to their husbands if they even get one.

2. Because men tend to lose control of such most successful women, most especially when the woman is more successful or richer.

3. Because no matter how rich or successful a woman is, she still wishes for a more richer or successful man to marry. The problem is that the percentage of that class of men are small in the society. Thus her pool is limited. Also, most men more successful than her have many options of many women running after them too and she might not be their choices in looks etc. Further reasons her pool of men reduces.

4. Because her pool of men reduces, she will find it hard to marry

5. If she eventually manages to get a man to marry, she might not actually marry her "choice" .

Lessons123:
Please I need your mature advice.

My wife denies me of sex regularly and I have to beg for it. When she is in a good mood and I fund her account she would give me for that day and the rest days or weeks is begging for it. Mouth Action has been once since 2 years.

I am a multi millionaire by God's grace and on the way to be a billionaire very soon but chose to be faithful to my wife as I feel there is a spiritual Christian sacred bond with my wealth relating to my marriage been sacred without fornication--hence I would have happily satisfied my self with another woman as I can afford any woman in any currency.

I can't give details on this bond but the truth is I think some women have gone as far as to charm their husband's to make him loose everything financially if he cheats, I am certain of this in my own Marraige, please I won't give details on this further but will summarize that I know I have lost it all at one point because of this and when I remained faithful and prayed to God my wealth came back in multiples.

Please advice me on what to do as I am very starved and feel she knows the bond she set me up hence derives pleasure in starving me severely as I have now resulted to maturation.

Also note from my previous post the business I opened for my wife with over 30m I was shocked to visit the place after renewal of rent worth millions then decided to visit when she said she needed more money and realized the place was empty. I mean she either siphoned the money sold all the goods and has not given any explanation, I could have fainted but comforted my self that at least money is not my problem for now.

I could not believe this story. Most people that can manage good business or jobs to move closer to "becoming a billionaire soon" can make better decisions and will not need advise of online strangers in this situation.

1. Don't sponsor her until you are married to here to avoid story that touches the heart later. Encourage here to start online or distance learning school but be very careful how much you invest into someone not married to you.

2. You can marry her, collect one or two children from her. Then enroll her in online or distance learning school.

3. School certificate sometimes does not translate to education or intelligence. There are many school cert holders more educated or intelligent than many degrees carriers.

IyaTola:
Sweetie, it will end in tears, once a woman gets into school the game changes. Men marry down, women marry up. It's okay she has a skill, save up an open a shop for her to practice what she has learnt.

We have senn countless times on this forum and real life where a man sponsors a lady to school and at the end if the day, the man that trained her is no longer in his class.

Use your tongue and count your teeth.

IyaTola has points here

I am so sorry you are going through this. I hate it when some men don't appreciate good women and stable homes.

I don't see that man stopping soon. Even if he sacks the girl, he will still continue with her or another woman.

My advise to you is this.

1. You have tried to talk to him severally and still he continues. At this point, inform both families. Involving both families might not make him stop but at least, it's time to inform the families in case he comes back with any form of sexually transmitted diseases up to HIV. The families will know whom to blame then.

2. Never sleep with him without condoms going forward to protect yourself from sexually transmitted diseases.

3. Though you are going through hormonal imbalance, allow him to have you when he wants it BUT with protection. Its not always good to starve your partner sex except you are physically sick. You might not enjoy it due to your hormones imbalance, but you do it to avoid story like this, where a spouse will be forced to look outside.

4. If he is not violent against you and the children, don't leave that house.

5. Don't cheat on him just because he is cheating. It will not solve anything. It will only compound the problem.

Stillwhites:
Is a woman supposed to leave her husband just because of allegation?

It's very immature for anybody to leave their spouse over "allegations".

Rozross:
I’m yet to read about a man doing this for his wife, men don’t truly love, na women dy love with all their emotions.

Please don't derail this thread.

This is a thread to celebrate good women. Don't turn it to man vs woman unnecessary back and forth arguments.

You make mistakes to get better or you learn from other people's bad experiences.

Life is not read in textbooks. Every great minds in history have made certain mistakes in their life.

Like a wise man sometimes ago said "If you have never made a mistake, you have never try anything important or tangible"

Mistakes is normal. Its only catastrophic if you learn nothing from the mistakes.

Merch:
You won’t do well if you venture into business

Funny OP.

You sell for 11k because she is a fine woman. On top of that, you released the rice before she completes payment.

Na wah for you oooo.

But I believe she said the truth in her tweet about the Queen. Irrespective of whom she is or sexual orientation or origin etc. Black people in Africa should stop all these unnecessary celebrations of everything "foreign".

Queen of England died, Black Africans carried it for head like gala.

Same way, many Blacks in Africa have damaged many of their relationships based on "I stand with Ukraine" and "I stand with Russia" nonsense in the Ukraine war.

Alusiizizi:

All the real sisters of Igbo men that I know proudly feature their Igbo men as resourceful, Intelligent, hardworking brave providers that Igbo men are. Igbo men are know all over Africa for their uncanny ability for success in business. There are no peoples in Africa that you will encounter that don't know the "Igbo man". No sister of Igbo men will come out publicly to insult Igbo men the way this so-called professor of whatever has done.

Bolded. It's true to a greater extent.

Alusiizizi:

No sister of Igbo men freely commits abominations, laying with her fellow women. This Uju Anya is a shameless, confessed lesbian who abandoned her marriage to live a life of abominations.

@ the bolded. That's not true. There are many Igbo Lesbians in Nigeria. Some are hiding while some are not.

Ammmy:
I called my daughter today and told her I want to come and bring her, she said never. That she can't leave her grandma. That who will stay with her grandma? Hmmm I weak

Hmm. Good question from her. How will grandma cope without your daughter? And it seems they have definitely developed some bonds.

You might have to increase your frequency of visiting them going forward to spend more time with your daughter. If the good luck charm thought is true, spending more time with her should work for the charm too.

I don't think the OP reported his wife to the pastor as per the pastor should scold her or something. I think he went to seek advise from the pastor as his spiritual leader and someone with lots of years under his belt as a married man.

Nothing wrong in seeking such advise in as much as it doesn't get to the point that its only the pastor that the woman will respect before she behaves well in her home.

Back to your question OP, a wife shouldn't not force food choice on her husband and vice versa.

You know your home better than us. You know if truly your wife is overwhelmed. If she is truly overwhelmed, then you can help her out in one way or the other to get what you want to eat.

But if she is not overwhelmed and just being lazy or imposing her choice of food on you, then you must stand your ground until she understands you.