₦airaland Forum

Ishilove:
After leading some impressionable people astray, you got over your fear and still went ahead to marry. This is why I carefully sieve what I allow influence me on social media because if one is not careful, one will be lead into a pit.

You can say this again and again.

Stargurl20:
Even spouses. I will never check my future hubby's phone, except he ask me too, or in a case of emergency. He should also do the same with me.

Wait until you are married and your husband agrees to it first.

silibaba:
Imagine your own wife flirting with another man. Is this how you will handle the situation?

In marriage, you don't make hasty decision based on "suspicion" or "this type of evidence". The evidence here is not strong enough for a man that value his home to destroy it.

People have different perspectives to things in life based on so many reasons. His wife might see nothing wrong in phone flirting based on her perspective of life.

That is why OP needs to investigate more. If after more evidence points to cheating, he can do whatever he wants. Divorce is his personal decision then and should not be based on what strangers like us think here.

1stGenAmerican:
It’s causing sea levels to rise and will eventually flood coastal cities.

This is an informative article on the subject:
https://www.nbcboston.com/news/local/new-report-outlines-plans-to-prepare-east-boston-charlestown-for-sea-level-rise/2808143/

The City of Boston released Friday a new report that outlines plans to boost coastal resilience to flooding, focusing on parts of East Boston and Charlestown

The newly released report take a closer look at the coastal flood risk in the two neighborhoods, options to mitigate that risk and timelines to implement possible solutions in an effort to guide the developments of flood protection projects in the future. The city has now completed coastal resilience plans for all 47-miles of its coastline.

The Coastal Resilience Solutions for East Boston and Charlestown (Phase II) focuses in particular on the risks associated with sea level rise and storm surge, proposing ways to respond while also providing additional resources to community members. Proposed projects that the plan outlines include landscaped berms, elevating parts of the Harborwalk and raising roads to protect critical infrastructure.

"Climate adaptation presents an opportunity to create a resilient, climate-ready waterfront that advances priorities for open space, mobility, affordable housing, social and racial equity, and natural resource conservation,” Mayor Michelle Wu said in a news release. "This report lays out a community-driven vision for Boston’s coastline to be resilient, accessible, and protected."

The new report is the latest part of the city's ongoing push to prepare for climate change impacts. Climate Ready Boston features specific mitigation tactics for neighborhoods across the city, addressing everything from increasing heat to flood barriers.

"Building climate resilient communities requires an understanding of the deep impact climate change will have on our neighborhoods," District 6 City Councilor and Chair of the Environmental Justice, Resiliency & Parks Committee Kendra Lara said. "This project assesses the immediate concerns brought to our attention by the Climate Ready Boston report and presents necessary long-term solutions. This is a bold step toward protecting residents of Boston and promoting environmental sustainability."

What do you say to this? Co founder of Weather Channel said Climate change is just a hoax.

https://rumble.com/v17p77a-scientist-and-weather-channel-founder-john-coleman-punks-brian-seltzer-on-c.html

Kobojunkie:
You don't seem to understand any of what I stated, do you?

How many of the Nigerian men who are now married to another woman after abandoning their previous families are counted as divorce cases in Nigeria?
How many of the Nigerian women who are now married to another man after abandoning their previous marriages are counted as divorce cases in Nigeria?
How many of the women who were returned to their father's homes by their husbands are counted as divorce cases in Nigeria?
How many of the men who demanded a return on the bride price paid have those incidents recorded as divorce cases in Nigeria?
In parts of Northern Nigeria, divorce is granted after a spouse publicly renounces the other a number of times, however, are these divorce cases recorded and officially tracked?

All the cases listed above take place regularly in Nigeria, yet almost none of them are registered official as divorce cases in the country. So how do you expect to compare the divorce rate in western countries where pretty much all cases of divorce are recorded, to divorce in a country like Nigeria where majority of the divorce that happens takes place off the books?

Many of us know at least one person or another whose former spouse abandoned so many years, even decades ago, yet still not officially divorced. Yet you think you can compare Nigeria's divorce rate in Nigeria where the bulk goes untracked to the official rate in Western countries. If you are honest with yourself, you will know that the divorce rate is pretty much the same if properly tracked.

I agree with you that Nigerian statistics might not be accurate if the source of the data is from Nigerian statistics office based on official reports. But based on public survey data, Nigeria has better marriage rates compared to many western countries official data. It's just like saying Nigeria has same level of same sex marriage compared to all western countries because all our marriages data are not officially reported.

That link I shared was just to tell you that marriage rates and divorce rates are not same everywhere in the world.

Teaveapoet:
I am reading this post and am laughing � and I am trying not to believe this is true.
Haa, don't play with fire ooh. Marriage is not bread and butter, It can be frustrating at times when you can provide, and misunderstanding can happen if you're not mature to handle some intelligent conversation but getting married because of a physical attribute is a no-no. with time that buttock will not be attractive anymore... That innocent-looking church girl will turn Margaret Thatcher For the sake of your sanity. I repeat don't try it. And for the sake of your own family, don't marry because of physical features.

Listen to this person and other similar comments.

I will not say physical attraction should not be considered to marry someone but its just one of other important attributes. Compatibility is the umbrella for other important factors.
What is your compatibility on reasoning, on ambition, on education level, perspectives on local and global issues? Do you share similar interests? Do you share similar beliefs? And of course what kind of love do you share? Is it lust after body and love after money?

Kobojunkie:
The percentage of working marriages in the western world mirrors the percentage in Nigeria. Don't be deceived by the fact that there's is clearly defined in their statistics whereas that in Nigeria is not as clearly defined. If you consider the rate of marriage abandonment, and the silent"unofficial" divorces in Nigeria, you will find the marriage trend is no different no matter where on the planet you go.

Here you go. This gives you overview that rates are not same everywhere.

https://www.statista.com/topics/797/weddings-and-marriage/?#topicHeader__wrapper

Nigeria has about 70pct of couples living together according to that statistics.

The moi-moi issue is simple. Stop giving him the house moi-moi.

The major issue is the part where he said you are only good for sex and food. On this, look for elderly men in your families with stable homes to talk senses into him. That's after you have hard an heart to heart discussions with him on the matter.

Marriage is between 2 partners working together respectively to build a home and in extension the society.

Madmazel99:
Your problem is that you two seems to be in some sort of competition with each other. Trying to out best each other in insults, threats and curses.

Have you ever thought of doing the opposite of what you have in your mind when trouble is looming? Instead of insisting on your brother to stay, can't you tell him to go and come back?

Why creating unnecessary tension when you could have easily cool it down and move on from that? Una two like trouble. Always want to prove a point with every situation.


Tell your brother to go and come back. Simple.

Exactly

The juju part is another problem here because many Nigerian spiritualists have shattered many homes from their nonsense "vision"

OP, apart from the juju part, what I see all over your write up is that you and your husband argue over minor things.

My sincere advise to you both is to be careful how you apply western world teaching to your marriage. I said this because you are living abroad. Before you follow western marriage teachings, please check out how well it's working for them. The statistics are there. Just Google percentage of working marriages in the western world and compare it to other countries not practicing western culture of marriages. Then check the percentage of western population who wants to marry and compare to other countries.

You said the marriage was good for first 5 years, ask yourself what major changes happened after the first 5 years.

pocohantas:
Some issues are not worth it.

Your family members are in Cameroon. Meaning your brother can easily go home and return.

So what is all the drama for? Let him go home and come back when your in-laws are gone. I think that is what a sensible adult should do without being told.

100 percent correct on the current issue

Stargurl20:
How can partners be checking each other's phones?

You mean boyfriend and girlfriend relationship?

I just don't understand why people give biased advise on this forum.

OP, this is not a good chat between a married woman and another man not related to her.

Please get more evidence on her. Don't be in a hurry to act. And don't give her any clue that you are trailing her.

Be in your best behavior while you watch her parole going forward.

From your findings, if it is true she is just flirting on chat with that man, then sit her down and let her know the implications of such behavior in a marriage .

If your findings reveal she is cheating, then follow your heart.

Eminence125:
I'm yet to confront her sir.

It is time to set trap for her and the guy. Don't confront her yet. Start looking for evidences going forward to back up your claim when the time is ripe to confront her.

In fact, pretend like you noticed nothing for now, until you have your evidences.

Act fast on your plan to gather evidences if truly they are into anything before you carry another man's responsibility for too long.

This is one side of the story. Try to hear from the man too before judgement.

Help your friend if you are capable but don't judge their matter from only one partner's story.

Climate rights groups belong to one political party in the western world.

And that makes me wonder if other party hates the world so bad that they want to destroy it.

A case study is the U.S. Climate rights groups in the United States are Democrats while Republicans call it hoax. That can simply means almost have Americans don't believe in the Climate change noise from Democrats.

The boy is helping the family out to space out children