₦airaland Forum

MaziOmenuko:
Guess who the manager of the week is? You are right, its me!!!
Guess what the team of the week is? Yes, you guessed right, its Kontractors!
Guess what the point is? 84 fvcking points!
Guess who is dealing with ibime next week? Its me again!

Story for the Gods. . . if it is not already Mathematically impossible for you to make top 8, I will make it so next week.

bigkesh:
#Emenalo

Na Odion Ighalo rumours dey pain me pass.

Emenalo likes giving life to overaged African players. Ighalo is no less than 30.

Chestar5:
Ibime must be in his early 50's

Chest star!

This year, I will be the same age as Jesus when he died. I for say make you come test whether my ministry is 50+ years old, but as I done marry, I recommend you heed the ministry of my keen disciple Griffon!

raumdeuter:
I agree with the bold

The 1999 set I mean not just the 99 season. So it would be based on the Long term

That was why i rate Irwin as one of the least talented and influential of the pool with dem Nicky Butt, May, Phil Neville

While I think Neville too was average, I feel he was better than Dennis Irwin

Fullbacks are always the least influential in a team and could still be the best leftback in the world.

Pires, Henry, Bergkamp, Vieira, Da Silva and Campbell were more influentual than Cole yet Cole was arguably the best leftback in the world.

Iniesta, Xavi, Messi, Eto, Bousquets, Toure, Ronaldinho, Eto all more influential than Dani Alves.

Lewa, Muller, Kroos, Ribery, Robben and Schweinsteiger all more influential than Alaba yet hes the best leftback in the world currently.

Ive always said a full back need not be a superstar, he only needs to be a consistent 7/10 player which is why I am miffed when Chelsea go and spend £21m on Baba Rahman. Its a complete musallication of resources to the least influential position on the pitch.

Dennis Irwin is good as gold.

raumdeuter:
Bros if you wan rate the Man Utd of 1999 which class Irwin go dey?

I wouldnt know how to rate the team because if I judge on 1999 season alone, Yorke, Cole and Beckham would be the most influential players in that team.

If I judge on long term greatness, I would put Schmeichel, Keane, Scholes, Giggs and Stam above the aforementioned 3.

Irwin was as consistent as Gary Neville and slightly better.

bigkesh:
Butland benched Begovic... Lloris isn't bad either

You aren't digging Auba,Pastore,wijnaldum and lukaku?

Begovic benched Butland for 2 years at Stoke.

What would make you think Butland would seat Begovic?

Begovic is in the top 5 Prem keepers presently.

SIRcumalot:
I want a 2nd opinion from a non-hater this time.

Dennis Irwin was good. No mind am.

He was actually a right footed player originally so it shows his class that he played on the left side with his left foot (unlike Azpilicueta)

Irwin would be considered slightly lesser than Ashley Coles set.

RAKITIC:
Nobody is talking about roberto carlos

Because he was overrated.

27naira:
Naija and Auto-tune... Kai!

This guy is wackness personified.

The level of autotune is so high, you can see he cannot sing a note.

afrodoc2:
Paolo Maldini, Giacinto Faccheti and Nilton Santos say hi.
Antonio Cabrini and Ruud Krol are also waving from the lower rung. Alaba is very very good but no way is he on the list of best ever YET.
And even if he has to displace people at the very top those would be would be Maldini and Faccheti not Brehmer. Breitner's greatness was all round not just at left back but also central midfield. As left backs Brehme and Breitner < Maldini, Faccheti

He has to continue to improve to the next level and maintain that for a few years then he can be considered. I will give you that he can make that list in the future based on his age, performances and potential.

Maldini may make the greatest 11 but never for a specific position. He is too much of a centreback to be compared with great attacking leftbacks like Brehme and Breitner.

The difference between em is anywhere Brehme and Breitner receive the ball, they are great players. You cant compare Maldini to them once they cross the halfway line. Same goes for Alaba.

For Brehme to win Serie A player of the year in a time when it was far and above the best league with niggas like Van Basten, Maradona and Gullit around, you know he must be using serious juju.

Likewise Breitner scored in 2 world cup finals. Na yam?

As for me, Alaba is the best Ive seen in my time. Solid defensively, a wizard on the wing, a cultured powerhouse in midfield. What more can I say about the boy? He is only 23 or so and been bossing for 4 or 5 years. He has reached the pinnacle of club football so I have no choice but to put him in that category even at this early stage as he has conquered club football already and cannot be expected to be judged on international stage with Austria.

bigkesh:
Alaba will have to be reborn to reach Cole's level

Cole is arguably the best left back in the noughties. . .

But Alaba is competing with Andreas Brehme and Paul Breitner for greatest left-back of all time. The boy is that good.

Richie0974:
So yesterday night, I was walking round the house ( Men thingy) just as I was about going back inside, I saw a snake coming out. I called for cutlass, collected it and rushed towards the snake. My first attempt, I missed that was when I realized it was a cobra with its flattened head raised up. Worst of all by the time I realized it was a cobra, I fell down. Thanks to my knowledge of snakes from watching them on TV I didn't move because it was so close. It backed away and was about going when I stood up and cut it in half, it was still trying to escape when I got a stick and smashed it. I use to think I like snakes but after yesterday I've changed my mind.

Lalasticlala
Seun

This is the most dangerous encounter with a snake ever featured on NL. All the others were harmless snakes.

Well done guy. Collect one Gulder there.

FBS:
STFU my friend. Money talking here. The question you should have asked (Mr common sense) is this - are we interested in him/is he what we need and not that he cannot be sold/bought.

Sharrap my friend. Like I said, only maga money can get him now. He is not worth £80m+

FBS:
if they are ready to sell Pogba what makes you think Dybala is untouchable? Surely he will go for even lesser fee.
Siddon dia dey look.

He is IMO a perfect replacement for Oscar. Heck he completely and single handedly destroyed Udinese today. My kinda player.

Pogba has been there for some time and his contract is near expiring in the next couple of years. The fans expect him to leave.

Dybala just joined. A move is not on the agenda, either for the player who is just settling in or the fans who don't expect it.

Use common sense abeg.

That is an aardvark, also known as ant eater.

Palace have gone 5 games without scoring, losing to Aston Villa in the process.

That puts our win over Palace into perspective.

This team is still struggling in the vital areas except for an improvement from Costa.

The team mix and balance is rotten to the core. Only a rank amateur would put this team together.

FBS:
Dybala can effectively replace Oscar plus he works hard for the team. Just like Kante. That's why I like both of them.

Madrid will appeal the ban so things might change though I'm not banking on it. Just a wish.

We also need a RB and CB. Stones though good and calm but ain't disciplined at all but hopefully he will grow and become even a better player.

Quit yarning Dybala issue. Someone who just joined Juventus. Only maga money can get him.

Shout out all the Mahrez captainers including Bourne007.

Na today we go start to catch una.

nduchucks:
An old nairalander friend of mine with the handle naijaking1 is an expert doctor who can hook you up with the right doctor in the US, if he doesn't wanna do the procedure himself.

So Naijaking na Gynae?

I cant imagine such a short tempered man doing such delicate work

northvietnam:
that him papa they complain to my momcy say the woman is a virgin , that he has tried every thing to disvirgin her but all to no avail .
I thought it was a joke until my last born confirmed the news .

Nonsense. Doesnt your uncle have fingers? 1 finger, 2 fingers, 3 fingers etc until she is open.

Unless your uncle is a horse.

Teeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrryyyy!!!!

Good reaction by the boys.

Ivanovic sleeping at the back post.

Chelsea have finally remembered that crossing is a part of football.

Its been years since I saw us crossing the ball like this.

pamcode:
Ibime i take God be you. Which disturbance are we takling about here. Or did i misunderstand your post

All our attacks were coming from the left side, thanks to Pedro and Azpi waking up.

Pedro no suppose come off. He was hurting Everton mercilessly on the left the last 15 minutes.

Faaaaaaabreeegaaaaaaass!

Goal and assist for the boy.

Dieeeeeeegoaaaaaaal!!!

bigkesh:
I don't have such time...But it was against Sunderland dude

No mind am jare. I remember.

nateevs:
I backed Pedro to make it here but I beginning to think I may have been wrong.
I have now seen enough minutes of him to know that he has questionable football intelligence.

I dont have much problem with Pedro still. He is the only winger that runs off the ball otherwise na give me I give you football Hazard and Willian dey play which never penetrates behind any defence. He seems to play better on the right and ineffective on the left.

raumdeuter:
So na Gog we go blame now for not giving Terry pace which is why he has yet to win any trophy while on the field

At 27 Boateng World cup winner while on the field beasting the final, CL winner on the field beasting the final

Terry is 35 chances are he wont be able to point to any of these glorious moments except to hijack trophy celebrations when other players have worked for it

He won WC and UCL yet nobody thought he was the best defender or even among the top 4 defenders. Poor Boateng.

John Terrys 3 European Defender of the year awards says hi.

PeinDanzo:
U3uuu
Rantings of a stranded demigod
Memoirs of A Demigod (M.A.D)
Chapter 1

This very world’s at stake/ when this demigod’s awake/life’s an open goal, so I score with every shot I take/
Supreme being, my rendition is ill/
Never lost my temper, just gave it permission to kill/
Attracting force/ bring your troops and I’m smashing hordes/
Built a fortress dismantling The Thing from Fantastic Four/
As I retort/ manic thoughts/ melting Atlantic shores/
To drown the world, cardiac arrest when Hitler saw what I had in store/
Outsmart Solomon by stating an adage/ faking an outrage/ ill beat death while draped with a bandage/
Cerberus couldn’t stop me making a passage/
I’ll just bend d Hands of Time and gain the advantage/
Say he’s a savage? U3 meets crowds with cheers/
Perhaps it’s clear/ I spit d flow these guys revere/
Recline in chair/ its incisive here/ the penmanship makes demons in hell shiver in fear/
Classical tunes/when I rhyme in the booth/ ill gas a reporter, he’ll choke to death while he’s grasping the news/
Born ill and deadly/ wisdom deep and heavy, Tooth Fairy broke his back when he carried the tooth/
Million dollar rhymes, see I got puns for these dummies/
Gold footsteps to give Midas a run for his money/
My shotgun is funny/ bullets make ya years dispel/
U get d point, then die laughing like Alex Mitchell/

Chapter 2

Insane reasoning/ as your structure I degrade civilly/
Rape Einstein’s corpse, offspring proves the theory of relativity/
Mental gates block thoughts to rip out his lungs/ the reaper’s seed dropped/
Sickens me to weed out the lawn/
My insides still burn/ but after the fever is gone/ they can’t pass the wall like Attila the Hun/
Despite the form.. I’ll make bridesmaids of the best men/ depress them/ my pen gives powers… Stan Lee to these Xmen/
Or ill just dismember/ these core pretenders/ with flaws in gender/ who don’t bring fire to the fight like cocky Benders/
They’ll be locked in tethers… combined height won’t stack to my face/ eat all the raps you can place/ still outrun Lightening with 2 Airbus planes strapped to my waist/
Fly with a big mouth, its a bad toucan case/ ill run pyramid schemes around Tutkan’s grave/
Or attack Egypt with killer resolve/ missiles involved/ spit acid to hinder the gods/
Inside the vault/ f*cking Cleopatra on the sand wit her wig off/ Tinker with words, while we’re watching Ceasar dissolve/
I’m swift to kill, in an instant he’s gone/ like the arms of an autobot/ da hollow shots/ attract the cops. But f*ck Magneto, I’ll hold their cars up like an auto shop/
Never dined with the devil, I set the table straight/
Switched Popeye’s green, then beat him to vegetable state/
Never lost a debate, even with complete silence/
Lost my silverware once, relieved Poseidon of his trident/
The dude got rabid/won’t stop ranting/ brought an army of mermen, I led a group of manics/
Realized his move was drastic/ when I pulled odd antics/ invaded his palace and drowned Ariel in a pool of acid/

Chapter 3

Dressed to impress when I wear polar caps/ a sober cat/ with ego so big the shadow went over Mars/
Battle me? A chancy venture/ Free Masons perplexed by my skeletal architecture/
Matching dentures/ to Chiron the mighty centaur/
Live in the minds of greats, so I would hardly rent yours/
My saliva’s the base for all the roads in Portland/ reformed man/
Spoke d future, Nostradamus wrote in shorthand/
Spat flames and left Nidhoggr helpless deformed/
Reckless with words/ reason why Vikings wore helmets with horns/
D sky weeps as I express these thoughts/
Hold a Siren hostage till the Tempest is gone/
Equipped with ample plans/ to rattle clans/ pull my cards, and you’ll get a monster like Bakugan/
Shady affair how I handle Stans/ to baffle ranks/ made a war cry then took a piss in d battleground/
Always smiling but the war is real/
Caught Batman and forced him to smile when I cocked the steel/
Made willow a slave when I bought the Will/ Corny skill/ more ‘vein in the head’ than Adonis feel/
From clubs in Paris to raves in Bangkok/ I’m gauging life’s worth/
Struck rock bottom like Old Lady’s anchor/
minds like “Oh they will applaud”/
Cuz I smoked Yggdrasil for knowledge Odin gave his eye for/
Stole the Books of Solomon to read the aged text/ waylaid Seth/ used the fabric of time to hide my naked flesh/
Spat a volcano after that/.. ‘Rings of power’ the aftermath/
Led a mass attack/ Looked Sauron eye to eye, left him with cataracts/

Chapter 4

A destroyer, my presence on earth makes the olden gods come/ the lost one/
Convinced my shrink suicide was the only option/
Race against time, on a spiky path/ it’s likely that/ with ‘pad fetish in d skies’, I get off to a flying start/
The Hybrid that/ killed Akasha’s coven of angry bats/ expensive hate, was born into gold like a Lannister/
While u imagine that… I’ll just eat Aku/ find Sister Tabitha and lead her lewd/
Imma wizard too/ with sicker moves/ known to ‘spark more fights’ than Pikachu! /
Sprang from death… In the hanging gardens where only weed grow/
Lonely hero rolling the blow/ armed with solely ego/
My heart, no pain to feel like a broken window/
So in battles, I’m ready to drop bombs/
Or we can square up to fight like an army of Spongebobs/
With guns drawn/ I’ve left your betters cold/
Foes never know/my brain was the Rosetta Stone!/
Y’all ever slow, so you’ll never best this/ check it/
I’ve got powers to grant a genie’s death wish/
Scaled obstacles to Mount Zion’s peak/
Let my ions sync/
Greased my elbow to rule with an Iron Fist/
Coat of Arms I’m willing to try on quick/
I’m like TCM.. On your screen you’ll see d Lion Speak! /
Demigod assassin, most would argue elite/
Tongue like a double-edged sword because I’m armed to the teeth/
A man to dare me? Has lost keen insight/
Cut his left so he’ll exercise his God given right/
Men cower n hide when the stench of death draws near/
I’ll throw caution to the wind and lose the scent of fear/
Knowledge is power/ I guess the hulk has the mantle/
I jumped the gun.. Just to take a shot at the title/

Chapter 5

King of the beasts, 3 sparrows a side/
Starve lions till they kill their young and swallow their pride/
Break into your home, causing a state of shambles/
Now I’ve got your ward in my hand like a game of scrabble/
I’ve faced all battles… Some would say a loud career/
Cuz my punches strong enough to break d sound barrier/
To course through life I’m the needed elective/
Spun d earth to look at life from a different perspective/
My descent’s selective… Weeding off the weakness/
To stop the sickness/ sheiks seen offering incense/
I’ll leave a Scar on Mufasa/
While I chit chat with loose banter/
In my laziest state still more incredible than Bruce Banner/
Mad state of persistence/ age of extreme strength/
Jumped off Airforce One to change my plane of existence/
They said “he’s lost his touch”, I heard it and laughed/
Please stand near the alarms/I’m merely at calm/
Always been d same front to back like “dammit I’m mad”/
So let your thoughts bless me/ pass bills like congress meets/
Once this thug met me/ slit my throat… and blessed his blade with the gift of prophecy/
I’m a complex being/ tis said d Styx flows inside me/
Muses scrolls residing/
Opponents I’ve make an art of folding.. Like origami/
I’m from a place where all d ghosts hole in/
Most golden/
that one brave sheep in wolves clothing/
There there’s love for d poor.. And d richer will forage/
Memory injections… students kill teachers with knowledge/

Dedicated to the X-lites
Influenced by RA

Dead.

Too many quotables

Comedy is when you compare a ninja who has never made team of the year to a multiple European Defender of the year winner.

If God had blessed Boateng with the same pace as Terry he would be in Maltese league right now.

For a slow ninja like Terry to win European Defender of the year 3 times just tells you his level of pure defensive skill.

We will see where Boateng is at 35 years old.

FBS:
Juve want him right. So why are we holding on to him?

Juve want pay £9m for him. They know that nigga aint shyt.

Chelsea holding on trying to recoup the initial £25m investment.

Good Lord, the boy is the biggest Brazilian scam since Denilson and Bernard.