iterator: exactly thats what has been on my mind but was scared of how to go about it, and how she will take it cos she is not yet working just finished her nysc.
First just talk to her and let her know what is going on because if she finds out some other way, it may not look too good on your part.
[quote author=Ileke-IdI link=topic=788140.msg9404725#msg9404725 date=1319414181]^^^ Its kinda hard to find a good paying job in Nigeria. I think it's better to publicize the harassment. I'm sure he's not the first.[/quote]I know it's hard but there are very few options that he has here
iterator: no he is the CEO, its a young company with good pay and also a career development opportunity.
iterator: And black mail is out of it, cos i wouldn't want to risk my life and that of my fiancee
First of all, I'm sorry to hear about your situation. But you need to ask yourself, what's more important, your dignity or money? I would suggest talking to your fiance and letting her know what is going on before anything goes further--from there, you can decide what you wanna do.
sauer: Womanist? It's a black american invention. I mentioned humanist, cos it rhymes with "Womanist" , and I tot it was secular, knows no gender and is more appropriate for conveying the thought that you'd rather be universal than be limited in world view. Okay, i myght be wrong about your wanting to be "universal". I don't believe in womanism! I think it has a lot to do with indulging s/ex, men and children while entertaining the ideals of feminism. Cos feminism appeared too strong for the black female population, they decided to create "womanism". Huh? Yea, your username's nt about writing. It says you a nerd. Are you really one? Glad to hear you stil read. What book are you reading presently? And do you by any littel weeny chance read philosophy? just curious. . .
Yes, it was created by Black American [women]. "They"? Who is this they that you speak of? Why is it that you think that feminism is too string for the Black female population? Can you please elaborate on that? Do you know exactly what womanism is and why it is referred to as womanism rather than feminism? No, I don't read philosophy but I study it lol I am currently reading "The Chomsky Reader" by Noam Chomsky
sauer: yea, you certainly sound like her. Itz the reaction I get. "womanist"? massive lol. Why not try humanist? Bt then, itz insanely appropriate for the women who want to stay in the feminist pack, yet desire children, husbands and all the mushy love that comes with it. Don't lie!
I kinda like this vocation of yours. You probably use programming languages? java? When I first encountered you, I assumed you were a writer. I mean, from the name "Inked_Nerd". Perhaps you gave up writing because you stopped reading? Enchanté
A womanist is a Black feminist. What does humanism have to do with being a feminist and having kids and a husband? Yeah, I use programming stuff but I'm not too fond of it. I prefer to sketch ideas and present them. My username isn't about writing lol. And no, I didn't stop reading lol. That's something I can never stop doing
sauer: not bad at all. But itz still your father, not you! You sound like some new Condolezza Rice on the block. . . "strong, black, independent!" Oh my! You a feminist? yes? kinda cool! in which field of the arts are you? lemme guess, writing>? itz easy to tell gurls like you have swallowed all of Adichie and Atta hook, line and sinker, which is not a bad thing though!
lol it's both parents. I just mention my dad more than my mom Hmmm, I sound like Condy? Hahahahaha, interesting In the technical snse, yes I am a feminist but I don't call myself a feminist. I am a womanist. My field of art is more in graphic design and web design so it pretty much ranges from handwork, photography, typography, etc. It's all covered under one course. It's funny that you mention writing because when I was younger, I used to want to be a writer. I lost interest in doing it professionally though. Now writing is just a leisurely thing for me. Those dreams are long gone--just childhood memories
@OP: Good question! I've thought about it before and I've come to the conclusions that I would rather buy than rent a dress. The only problem I have with buying a dress is, what will I do with it after the wedding? So far, the only thing that comes to mind is to donate it to one of those wedding dress charities.
sauer: @Inked_Nerd^ ^kinda impressive. So, it's your father, not you. Well, experiences can undo such stuffs parental upbringing has set. . ., just so you know What you do? I mean like wat you do? u a writer? u a student? or working already for a NGO, in some law firm, or something?
lol it's not a bad thing that my parents have raised me this way. The main objective is for me to be a strong independent Black woman. I need to be realistic, as woman, I will always be in a position in society where people may be out to take advantage of me. Having a child who can provide for themsleves, is that not the wish of every parent? You always want your children to have to best--for them to do so, they need to be the best. I like my upbringing. The reason I mentioned my father is because he is a hardworking man who has watched his own mother work tirelessly to provide for her family. As a parent, he wants me to know what hand work is, not hardship
As for what I do, I'm a student/artist. I recently left my job at a youth center but now I'm back but it's kind of an part-time/of and on kinda thing. I'm pretty much just a college student
stillwater: You can see for yourself that that was in the past before the Whites came in, colonized you and now you degrade your women. I thank God for the kind of parents most of us have, that demeaning comments that has been said here did not push us to bleaching our skins. Many women do not have an issue with a black man dating a different race, but to call your own race derogatory names in the process. I will not take it from anybody. Imagine bringing up a daughter in this situation? Can't you date without bringing down your own woman?
sauer: yeah, kind of. Itz usually easy to say. . .but to do? From your posts though, I'd guess perhaps. You are one of the few girls on Nairaland who make deep sense. Just wondering why you left for so long, only to come back again. And wondering still wat you do?
lol I was raised in a house where us girls [there are two of us, my sister and I] were taught that we must never be at the mercy of ANY man. My father [and mother] will not be around forever and because of that, I must learn to take care of myself not just as a Black woman, but as a Nigerian woman. This world isn't easy for anyone, especially a Black woman so when I say I don't care about a man providing for me, having a car, or looking a certain way, it is because I really do believe and know that I will ALWAYS be able to provide for myself. If I meet a man and he doesn't have much, it's not a big deal to me--he may not have a lot today but if we work together, he can have a lot tomorrow. I know what I am saying may sound like rhetoric but is truly how I have been raised.
As for why I left Nairaland, every once in a while I tend to become really busy or I get bored. Either way, it usually takes me a while to get back into the swing of things. Now that I'm back, it's really fun. I usually feel kinda confused when I come back because I feel like I missed a lot lol. What did you mean when you said you wonder what I do?
stillwater: Lmao. . .the ultimate black man. White men came to your land, ravaged your resources, took you into slavery, r.aped your women, colonized your people, even still have a strong hold on your resources till date.
Black man where's your breakthrough in the modern era?
Talk about being ultimate. . .reduced to gigolos, overpopulating the whole world. Whorish syndrome.
When men talk, please keep quiet. You've accomplished nothing.
Let the White, Chinese, Indian talk, not gutter rats who can't even protect their women.
stillwater: Lmao. . .the ultimate black man. White men came to your land, ravaged your resources, took you into slavery, r.aped your women, colonized your people, even still have a strong hold on your resources till date.
Black man where's your breakthrough in the modern era?
Talk about being ultimate. . .reduced to gigolos, overpopulating the whole world. Whorish syndrome.
When men talk, please keep quiet. You've accomplished nothing.
Let the White, Chinese, Indian talk, not gutter rats who can't even protect their women.
cap28: I find it really sickening when some lowlife black men try to bring decent black men down to their level by claiming that black women are the least desired women - according to who ? first of all the only kind of black men who regurgitate this filth are neutered black men who have been beaten down by a system designed to destroy them and programmed to make them hate themselves, every self respecting black man who grew up in a decent home surrounded by decent black women will honour and respect any black woman he later meets in life, the only black men who treat their own women with contempt are these pathetic wasters who have been told time and time again that black = worthless, in a bid to cover up their agonising feelings of self hatred they try to take out their agony on the easiest targets they can find - black women.
My advice to these kind of black men - is please stop pedalling this lie - it was created by the white man in order to encourage more self hating blacks to stop procreating with their own women and therefore comitt race suicide. Do you see men of other races referring to their own women as being the least desirable, i can assure you that you attract nothing but contempt and derision from men of other races who already look at the entire black race as a race of failures, this disgusting attitude is exactly what your detractors want you to do - most white people do not have anything positive to say about blacks and this type of behaviour only gives them more ammunition to convince themselves that they are superior to us. We need to behave like the chinese, japanese, greeks and indians who respect their women. European women are a dime a dozen and the low grade ones - which are usually the ones most black men are able to get are not even regarded by their own men as desirable anymore hence the major shift by white european men from dating them to dating and marrying south east asian women.
cap28: You sound like you have no self respect or self love and i sincerely pity any black female child that is unfortunate enough to have someone like you as a father.
Are you familiar with social conditioning and brainwashing? you sound like one of these black men who is in the most extreme stages of internalised racism or self hatred.
Your glorification of white women at the expense of your own women is tragic to behold - is this what you secretely think of your mother - do you see her as unattractive with low self esteem, do you have sisters are these the wise words you impart to them.
The irony of your tragic situation is that you are a victim - your white masters are the main beneficiaries of your self defeating attitude - they are the ones who control the media, advertising , the fashion industry - in a nutshell they are gaming with you without you even being consciously aware that they are doing so, your misplaced vanity has convinced you that all it takes to be a man is to have a big manliness and a smile - because that is how the black man is projected by the western media - a intimate savage with zero intelligence and like a fool you have fallen for it thinking that that image does you any favours, at teh same time they have taken the black woman and degraded her by putting the white woman on a pedestal and convinced you taht your own women are worthless - and like a fool you again have bought into that - but heres the secret its being done intentionally TO DESTROY YOU AND YOUR RACE SO THAT YOU CAN NEVER EVER HAVE THE SELF CONFIDENCE TO COMPETE WITH THE WHITE MAN ON ANY LEVEL - the white man has succeeded in taking away your land, your resources, your identity and now he wishes to exterminate you permanently by making your reject your own women - AND YOU'VE FALLEN FOR IT!!!!!
Look around you - who runs the world? the black man or the white man - how many black people do you see in positions of real power in the world?
Keep being a victim of white supremacy.
You guys are one of the few people on this thread who are making sense
MsDarkSkin: black women are a step down? oh really?!
should i post more? i thought not. im sure your blood pressure went sky high after the first damn video! don't fuhck around. don't play yourselves black men. we are loyal to you because of personal choice. keep running your mouths.
Girl, I've seen a lot of these videos before. I'm glad you're postin' 'em.
tom28: On the issue of nigerian men beating up their wives its not only nigerian men who do it.There was a story i read in the papers about an Austrian man married to a nigerian lady from Edo state and frm i read this couples had endless arguments that resulted in the austrian man beating up his nigerian wife when he had the opportunity.They had a very serious arguement that resulted in the man using a metal rod to beat up his wife and it paralysed her for life.Right now this lady is in a vegetable state in LUTH(lagos university teaching hospital) and the man has prevented the two children he had from her in visiting their mom.There are also cases of lebanese men who also beat up their nigerian wives or girlfriends.Or what can u say about the indian man who strangled his nigerian girlfriend to death in a fit of anger.I recall such a thread was made here some weeks ago.[b]Domestic abuse is not common only in nigeria.Its a world wide problem.[/b]Even american men beat up their wives or girlfriends.
Yes, so very true! But I think the reason why the women on this thread point it out so much is because in Nigeria, at times the authorities tend to be nonchalant about domestic violence, and in some cases, people may not even see what is going on as domestic violence. I've heard numerous men say to their wives, had they not been living in a western country they would have taken "more actions" towards them.
[quote author=Shy-One link=topic=787938.msg9402831#msg9402831 date=1319389845]yes - I will accept a guy that is younger than me.
My guy tricked me - he never revealed his age to me until after we had been talking for several months (he acts much older than I do and he doesn't look really young - he looks mature but he also doesn't look old - he knew how old I was BEFORE he approached me so I just naturally thought he was older than me)
I was shocked when I found out how old he was (3 years younger) - I have NEVER dated a younger man - I love older men
I had already fallen in love with him and couldn't walk away once he revealed his age to me - it was cute and really funny to me once the truth came out because he sounded a bit scared and nervous to tell me "what he already knew" - I had to get a copyright for his book and the information needed his stats - date of birth, etc. When he gave me his date of birth - I saw that I was 3 years older and I questioned him "stunned"
I call myself a "cougar" - lolololololol - sooo funny - I never thought I would be a "cougar" - he is my first - I am glad he tricked me - I would never have dated him if I knew in advance. I thank God for my guy. he is so wonderful,[/quote]Eh ya, now imagine not having all that loveliness had you left him because of his age? You sound so happy. I wish you two many years of happiness.
lefulefu: Why wont we nigerian men prefer white women.Afterall white women no dey give us wahala like naija women.A typical naija woman 24/7 go nag u to death and if u forget to buy her the gold chain wey u promise her she no go let u rest.Na quarreling and drama be a nigerian woman"s specialty.Many of my friends wey dey married to naija women don old by force because of the stress wey their naija wives dey give them.Look at me i dey fresh and agile because my white girlfriend takes good care of me.Omo my guys wey dey naija una really dey miss something for here oo.White babes are the real thing because they love u for who u are and not what u have.Tell me how many naija babes go remain with u when the going gets tough .
Chei! So these are the ramblings on a neo-slave lost in the diaspora? My condolences to your family and the families of other African who follow in your footsteps. As a human being there is nothing wrong with having preferences but there is something wrong with spewing hatred towards your own people.
[quote author=Mrs, Chima link=topic=786945.msg9402773#msg9402773 date=1319389299]Inkie, the fact they are on you because you are not afraid to share your intimate experiences contradicts the fact that they glorifies ashyhoes and selling their dignity for some papers. Thank God for the sensible black men.[/quote]lol have I ever let their negativity deter me from speaking my mind? If they wanna bash their heads in a wall all because I talk then no problem. All I can do is hand them a towel to wipe the blood that's gonna be oozing from their heads. Hypocrites and double standard practices don't fly with me
merge: Why the ultimate male "Black men lol" can not outperform other race of men?
Who owns the NFL, NBA, , ?
Black men run jump shoot hit but no brain. Now I understand you
LOOL
[quote author=Mrs, Chima link=topic=786945.msg9402657#msg9402657 date=1319388082]Two of the angry black men are already throwing punches at Inkie and I because we disagree with their opinions.
According to the angry mob, Inkie is an Nigerian American slut and I am the silly akata that is holding Africa back.
Wow! my online texts have that much power?!! [/quote]I'd rather be an Nigerian American slut than to be a brainless morȯn who's in denial
Ever so ego defensive. Men like this are the kinda one's that will always hate themselves for being who they are. Can't you feel the hate, self pity, denial, blind defence, and as usually blank,pointless and blind facts. Ever wondered why there are too many domestic violence cases in mostly black communities? Because people cant seem to stand it when someone is not agreeing with their own point. Little things and they start throwing punches. Defend your point without being violent and aggressive No way!!; Some cant stand it! No wonder the African continent is always going backwards.
They must have read the part where i said; Yeah, and this is not a generalization, there are still many sensible black men, who date outside their race for genuine reasons, and will never turn around to call their own mother ugly because she is "black"!!
After reading this, some still looked at the other bad part and seeing that "there" is were they belong, decided to go for attack and defence at once. Typical behaviour of most frustrated black men! Seriously, why will anyone bother arguing or exchanging words with such people?
And saying that "the white race is dominant" doesn't call for "low self esteem". It's just about knowing the truth and trying to empower the black race so that we can do better knowing who we. Knowing our limitations will help us balance our stregths with our weaknesses. No need to live in denial and childish lies when the truth is right there in front of everyone. And the advice goes to both the black men and women (not just the men ooo) who indulge in "self hate". Such negative energy, is just not taking our black people anywhere . . .
SAY THE TRUTH AS IT IS AND STOP LIVING IN DENIAL AND UNDESERVED PRIDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Watch out for "More Angry Self Hating Black Men Part 2" after this comment. . . .
[quote author=Mrs, Chima link=topic=787433.msg9402442#msg9402442 date=1319386214]I see what you mean however I am saying it is interesting how men would say that women should do this and that to define their femininity but in turn do the exact same things they defined as feminine.
If women are to get their feet and nails done to show the world they are feminine then why are men doing it? Now you see what I mean? Contradicting ke?[/quote]I get what you saying.
Oya girls, do you hear that? Mrs. Chima, suggested we put pressure on these men to keep up their appearances! I second this motion!!
[quote author=Mrs, Chima link=topic=787433.msg9402424#msg9402424 date=1319386054]I see that dollar store diamond sparkler on your left ear. [/quote]LOL, your a trip!
Romance › Re: The Best Way To Get A Naija"s Girls Attention(for The Virgin Bobos And De Jews) by InkedNerd(f): 1:11am On Oct 24, 2011
[/quote]Hehehe, girl I have upgraded to drive by's 
[/quote]I'd rather be an Nigerian American slut than to be a brainless morȯn who's in denial 
Stop allowing BRICKLAYERS HAND on your yansh, 
