₦airaland Forum

samocholi:
Greetings to u all,please I need a candid advise because am fed up and confused at same time.It all started in 2011 when I met my wife through my collegue in the bank. I used to work in operations and hardly have time to truly search for a wife that is what I thought back then.so I had this collegue of mind who appears responsible and is also a church worker in a responsible church,not all these money making churchs.so I confided in him , so one day he came to me that he has this lady where he normally goes to worship atimes that he will take me to meet her ,that she is God fearing ,a church worker and her father is a pastor in one of the northern states,which he did and introduced us and gradually we started dating,


I even took her to see my parent.to their amazement she woke up around 4am and swept and cleaned the house before we could even wake up for morning prayers.when my Dad saw this he was really please and was like this truly is wife material.but my Mum was like don’t conclude oh as per girls of nowadays that we should keep praying.at first I wanted us to do our traditional marriage in April 2012 and after that white wedding but she started indirectly pressuring me that we should do trad in August and white in November,2011.i thot about it,and with my naïve mind said to myself that since she seems nice and am ready to marry.


I agreed and we got married in 2011.we did both court and church marriage.immediatly we came back from honey moon my life has been one hell of a life or another.it began when my former collegue in the bank sent her sister to bring her cv to me incase we are recruiting so that I can submit for her.so the lady called later to thank me for the assistance and my wife was with me in the sitting room.it was around 7-8pm.after the call my wife started quarreling,that who is that lady calling me that am cheating on her,she went inside the room and brought out our wedding cert.that she will tear it and that we should go our separate ways.i became shocked ,I then told her that she can take the lady’s number or I can call the lady in her presence.that I don’t even know the lady. I did not even have the lady number in my phone,the lady collected my number to follow up and that is all.



I left her with my phones and entered the room.this was happening barely a month and a half after our wedding.as the days go by she started bringing different quarrels and problem.after like a year two month into the marriage,one faithful Friday night after I came back from work and I was fast asleep she woke me up around 11pm that we should talk.and I told her that if we can leave it till morning knowing fully well that the next day was satuday unless if the matter is btw life and death then I can wait.she said it is not btw life and death and was insisting that we talk before I knew it she brought out a knife and wanted to stab me so I manage to collect the knife and threw it into the wordrobe.


By then the sleep in my eyes cleared immediately and I was like what is the matter what is wrong or what wrong have I done to her,my people up till tofday she has not given me an answer.so she stood there speechless so I assume all is well then as I was going tom bed she took one of her high heel and struck me behind my head I fell down and went blank.after a while I woke up and saw her looking at me.so I got up and entered my car with blood all over me to her uncle’s house and showed them and told them what happened.before I continue we live in Abj,so the uncle called her parent and her mum came to Abj the next day.before then I had written and taken my divorce letter to the pastor that am not doing again.


After that the pastor and her people intervened and talked to her. I went to that my colleague that introduced her to me that what does he know about her that I may not know so he said she told him in confidence that she was in cult in the university and that her boyfriend then was the capon.she also told him that the boy friend was shot in school then and died in her arms.when I confronted her she down played everything and wanted to pick a quarrel,so that one died down.


Before I continue,am a banker ,and my wife has a boutique that she sells men wears in Abj. She hardly laughs but b4 we got married she was always laughing.i havs severally asked her what the matter is but she will say it is nothing. Before now I did not know that my wife is a runs girl,after our baby’s birth in Dec 2012 my wife went and did family planning without my consent,it was in the evening when the stuf started disturbing her that I got to know. In August last year that is 2014,I was watching news when she came back by 9:30pm,she started making it a habit of coming late in 2014 and that has caused serious quarrel btw us. So when she came in she droped her phone on the center table and went inside to take her shower.as I was watching the television I now said let me go through her gallery because she likes taking pictures.after that I now checked her messages.i was shocked what I saw.

She sent a text to a married man,saying that she cursed him with the sperm he pured inside her and the man said it was mutual that she is the one came to his house to collect money for the shoes and shirts he bought,he also said he will curse her with his children’s life that she is not the only one that has a child and insisted that it was mutual.at that point my hands started shaking and before I know I she jumped out of the bathroom with soap on her body to take her phone.immediatly she came to the sitting room and saw me with her phone she frozed for like 15seconds not knowing what to say after that I asked her who is the man and she said that I was one of her friends from owerri that used her phone to chat the man.

when I checked the chat history it was not just one day chat it spans four days becos the chat was very lengthy. So I was pissed off, I reported the issue to the pastor where we got married and he down play it that she cannot do such a thing..
My wife has quarreled with all my neighbours in my compound of 8 flat,she has also quarreled with our security guards at the gate to the extent that they have refused to wash her car.On 25 of dec 2014 after returning from the church my wife spreed her cloth under the sun and my neighbour’s puppy came and played with the cloth and tore part of it.the next day she went to tell then but she did not grt a good response so she went behind and boiled hot water and pured on the puppy. My neighbor’s wife went and call police for her the next day being Sunday.but their aim is to keep her in cell till Monday to teach her a lesson.unknown to them my uncle is a top police officer so I called him and we were able to bail her putting Monday date.since then small thing my wife will start saying things that she is suspecting me , that am having am affair.i now told her how,she now said a man that does not drink alcohol and does not smoke will surely womanise.i then asure her that I have done nothing of such.and truly since I married her four years ago I have never looked at any woman aside her.

To cut a long stry short,February this year as usual during valentine I to her to a shop and asked her to pick whatever she wants.then she picked cloths and shoes worth 70k and I paid. After that February ending I usually give her 50k for upkeep so tha day I had keep the 50k but there was a plumbing problem that I had to take 5k out of it to solve so I gave her 45k promising to bring the balance home or I credit her,and that faithful morning we were having a meeting in which a top official is coming from head office and my head of operations was nor around so I was sitting in for her.

so I asked my wife to help me take our daughter to sch that day as I have to rush to the office b4 time. After giving my wife the 45k she threw it on the floor that it is not enough and started insulting me that what kind of useless job is that ,unknown to me she had gone and locked the entrance door and taken the key,as I was about to go out I discovered that the door was lock,so I called her aunte to talk to her,as she was on the phone with the aunt I went through the back door. As I was about to drive out I saw my wife rushing to close the gate with only pant and singlet,I mean pant and singlet not bump hort or rapper.i was surprise,but before she could close the gate I had already passed she now took a big stone and stared running after the car.
she threw the stone at my suv ,it sounded like a bomb very loud.at first I did not know what happened untill I saw her running towards the car so I stoped,she now came held my side mirrow and started breaking it so I had to drive off. I was devasted and could not make it to work,so I called someone in the office that I won’st be able to make it to the office that am having some issues at home.


She went back to the house and called my Dad that if I come back she will kill me.so my Dad called me and I explained to him immediately what happened. so he said I should not go back home that day, I went and slept in a hotel In town .so the next day her mum came and I went home.Now it is not that am afraid of her but because I respect women and will not want to beat ofr fight her,I am far biger and taller than her if I decide to cough she will vanish so is not that am afraid of her am only respecting the marriage institution. When I got home the second day to resume work the third day I discovered that she had tore all my cloths,my shirt both office and casuals,all my suit including my wedding suit,.so I had nothing to wear the next day.so I missed work wednesdy,Thursday and Friday,during all these happening I have been in touch with my office and told them am having some family issues and could not make it to work.



I resumed the next Monday to work and everything seem to be going well, then on Tuesday I got a sack letter from human resources of the bank.unkonwn to me. the new manager that was posted to my branch got a querry for myself and the head of operations not being around for the initial meeting. so he was angry and he wrote to the bank’s human resources and when they checked that I was not logged on for the three days I was sacked,all because of my wife.most times she sends abusive texts messages to me while in the office.For instance if am attending to customers and she is calling and I did not pick on time she will now send a nasty text that I delibertly don”t want to pick her calls.i have even told her to come and see how we work in my office.so since march am yet to get any serious thing to do.
I January I had 2.5m I paid our rent 1m and part pay for a land 1m and the remaining 500k lasted us from march till june.as usual with banks I was not paid anything.so when my savings finished in june the major financial burden fell on her,with little coming from me now.Since then my wife has made my life a living hell with all sorts of insult. For example in November,there was nothing in the house so she went to southern fries and bought rice and chicken for herself,then bought a watery oha soup with out meat that I should make garri and eat with it.it was when I wanted to microwave it that I discovered that it was watery and has no meat.i did not say anything.


Most times I stay back at home unless I have an appointment or an interview just not to spend unnecessary .so I was checking one of the cupboard in our room and I saw somethings she got from a native doctor,they include a bottle of concosion with the label witches and wizards destroying oil,the second one was two of her bathing soap with burnt candle on it when I looked at the soap closely I saw small cross buried inside,the third thing I saw was the complimentary card of the native doctor.All these things I just mentioned are real and I have their pictures that I snapped.i picked them and went to her uncle’S place to show him and he was mad,he immediately called her parent to come to Abj immediately and I called my parent to come becos I told them I don’t want the marriage again. Both parties came and the meeting lasted from 5pm to 12 mid nite and continued again the next day.

she could not defend her sellf and I said am not doing again and everyone started beging that I should give her one more chance.and it seems the issues was resolved.i started my investigation and discovered that unknown to me my wife is a runs girl even b4 I married her and after marriage she continued .that is why she went and did family planning without my knowledge so that she can be sleeping with me with out condom.and this days she dresses sugestivly.i have reported to the pastor ,her parent about her dressing but she has not changed.presently she is fighting with a lady in her former church the lady is a leader in the church.she said the lady has been attacking her in the dream and anytime they lady sees her the lady calls her prostitute.She told me that the lady is sleeping with her pastor.My wife has bad mouth and insult at every provocation,she hadly laughs always moody but when some kind of men call her she will be laughing as if tomorrow no dey.

Today being Christmas as we were preparing to go to church,she was noW feeding our daughter who just turned 3 last week.becos the baby was being slow to eat she started shouting that if the baby does not eat quikly that she will injure her.when I heard that I came and told her that such statement to a baby is not good,I have cautioned her severally not to be telling the baby that she will injure her.because there was a day I was playing with our baby and the baby was telling me that she will injure me.so becos of that I cautioned her.that was all,instead of her to take corrections she started insulting me.that am useless,that the whole burden is on her that she regrets marrying me.that she will surprise me one of these days.


My dear brothers and sisters in the house especially the married ones I frankly need ur candid advise as I am tired of her ,her bad and unrepentant character and her evil ways but am only looking at the term Christian marriage in terms of divorce as I ultimately want to make heaven just as every one.

Thank u for taking ur time to go through my ordeal.

follow the advice. advice of many heredivorce hetr gee

so sad.
and annoying.

it all starts with the mind and determination. if you are firm in God, you will survive

Nice.
True that's how marriage is at times.




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My brother flavour, comes to mind here

mudility:
Hey pals, if you have read my previous post https://www.nairaland.com/2738913/love-employee you will remember i was crushing on one of my female worker.

After i hastily made my intentions known to her, I was given those kind of funny attitude ladies display when not interested.

On a one on one discussion, she said she will not date me for two reasons. 1. because i am her boss and 2. because she has a boyfriend.

Okay, i totally respect her decision but i realized her attitude changed. She sometimes arrives late to work, flirt with my costumers to make me jealous. The final straw that broke the camel back is when i was scolding my other worker for her mistakes and complains am getting from my customers about her.

What i heard was this my employee i had crush on saying to me with boldness that i dont have to talk to her that way. I was shocked to my bone marrow that i ordered her to keep quit and leave my presence.

After i got home, i could not stop thinking about her rude bahaviour. I almost payed her off today but the sympathetic me decide to keep her till month end.

Pls friends , what do u think about my intended plan?

Hmm. warn her of her rudeness and if it still continues fire her pls.

this ur girl self?

Wonderful. heard some of these myths. would love to hear more. any research site online?

nice initiative from the church I must confess.
But those goods look too glamorous and out of place for the class of ppl being given.

may be a nice set of sandals, a simple bag and money in an envelope would have been better

He is still a boy.
Dont add him again when you guys have a quarrel.
Tell heim that he should grow up

Rubbish shameless Judge.
You better reverse your decision.

When will other political looters be hanged?

#FreeTheEKitiRobber

Not in any way approving of the theivery by the accused though

expecting someone to write a counter, esp from UNN

Me self. am proudly a wailer. I agree with you cramjones.
PMB do something.

GTB mastercard 220.

lol. I tel ya

martinlooter:
I didn't say I don't love her anymore, I said I love her and don't want her to feel like I don't love her anymore as a result of my rejection of the idea.

Ok.

Guess! you shd continue talking to her.

Wish you luck and praying for you guys.

thought they said they will sell some of the aircrafts when elected?

nice. love it.

he shd give his life to Christ.
go to church cos karishika don catch am na
say no to premarital sex

she's looking to settle down.

give her what she wants. you guys can work out how to take care of ya family while you look for a job

why you say you dont love her anymore

Damn! and I was rooting for u all the way.
anyway I hope u find true love someday.

Did you find out from her if she has a bf or why she's not interested in you. You know you can learn from the knowledge and apply it in future relationships/wooing sessions.

How old is she by the way?

Deztro:
ABEG MAKE PERSON EXPLAIN SEFETY CCHECK

its a feature that allows you to notify ur friends whether you Re safe or not

you'll only see it on ur timeline if u are near a disaster zone like an earthquake or bomb blast

MarieSucre:
The service will be open to those in the affected areas. You might not see that option if you're not in Yola. Just this morning, I got alert that 2 out of the 7 Facebook friends who marked Yola, Adamawa as their state of residence have checked in safe. Let's keep our thoughts with those 5 who have not.

This is a good measure. At least now I know those 3 are safe and concentrate on contacting family and friends of the remaining.

Nigeria stay strong. Stay united.

**edited**
2 more just checked in. 3 more to go.

Hmm. thanks for making things clear. was abt to buzz Google cos I no understand this check.

hope ur other friends are safe.

by the way you look good in ur profile pix. :p

dabossman:
I don't know why the report didn't name the hospitals. The IG of police already gave a directive for hospitals to treat people with gunshot wounds without a police report. But some of our people are just stuck in their ways. No regard for life. Yet, they will come and ask why people are praying for France. Mtschewww.

I also think it's unfair to blame Ambode while being silent on the CP in Lagos and the IG of Police. The truth is as long as the IG in Abuja continues to control the CP's in the states, Governors are just Chief Security Officers in name. Afterall, the victims called the Police and they refused to show up. Is it Ambode that will drive them to the scene of the crime?

I disagree I wont give Ambode any leeway.

During Fash's time, was the IG or CP not also controlled from the centre? In a PDP controlled Govt?

Its all on the leadership style. Fashola once said he saw these criminals as his competitors and was always thinking of how to beat them or be 3 steps ahead of them.

Now that's a pro-active leadership. and not one that reacts and governs through facebook and twitter, telling you what he has done.
Dont tell me we'll see it

if indeed the IG has ordered hospitals to treat gunshot wounds patients then the hospital needs to be fined.
How do we start the process? any one?

Bugatie:
Chisosss!

Olayinka said: “At 63, Lai Mohammed should know that speaking for the federal government of Nigeria is different from speaking for the APC, which he did by always tying corn to his anus while dancing Unclad at the market place."

i Tell you.
have never seem badt punchlines like this. damn
I counted about 3.

He really floored liar moha'med.

Damn> i cant stop laughing here.

Luvdmx:
Be careful of what you vote/wish for...

Dis ur pix badt gon.
why yabbing our presido nah.

This issue of private hospitals rejecting gunshot patients. I think we should send a bill to the national assembly so that it becomes a criminal offence for hospitals to reject gunshot wounds patients.
pata pata, you can treat them and call the police while they are still being treated.

RIP to the pour soul.

I believe Justice will prevail and the robbers will meet their waterloo soon.

Ambode do something or is Fashola shoes too big for you to fill?

Hmm.
Try seeing a marriage councellor. this one is beyond me

ViktorMartins:
Tell your sis to raise the snails shelter above ground level, e.g. develop a snail hutchbox.

Concrete the floor of the snail house.

Build a gutter around the house outside and fill it with water.

Try to disinfect the snail house bearing in mind that the snails ain't there while disinfecting the house.

thanks for the advice

lordhugo:
The housing is not pest secure.

remove the snails, pack out the soil substrate.

you need to seal up the pen ground. the ants burrow up from their nests into the pen in search of food.

You can heat the soil substrate by placing and tying in nylons and heating in huge pots or drums with water. Steaming is the key.

Replace soil in pen and reintroduce snails after cooling.

tanks. will let her know

pls advice what's the solution to ants attacking the snails. My sister's farm is having a problems of ant infestation and they killing the snails. the pens are made of wood and these black soldier ants live inside..

goood for her

funny die/