₦airaland Forum

Saga Paddy, thanks for that nice analysis of the interview. I thought I was the only one that noticed the interruptions and the rude switching and change of topics as if she was talking to a Nincompoop. You  have said it all, don't allow those who delight in bringing down their country have you swearing and getting angry. When the wealth of the country was being battered and thrown over the fence into banks oversea they were not talking like that, they have a goodly quiet natured president now and every person is flying in his face and telling him what they want because he is a quiet person. How do you expect others to have respect for your country when you have none for it and makes fun of it in front of other Africans in this forum.

STACYM:
He did it 1, 2, 3, and 4th, its obvious she really wanted it. She would have ran out of the house the first time it happened. But she did not, she felt her plan was working out well. Let's not blame the man alone, the girl caused it all, no wonder she could not get her own man at 33. Shame on her, for doing this to her own blood sister.  Let the HOMEBREAKER give birth to that child cos I don't support abortion.

I hate to hear women talk condescendingly to other unmarried women like that. All you have is given to you by God, don't feel so good about them and begin to look down on the have-nots please. It is Randy and his non-thinking wife that should be called their own HOMEBREAKER not this girl that was put in this ugly position by them.

[quote author=Arun-NGO link=topic=558479.msg7233998#msg7233998 date=1290967619]@ ivyman, in as much as I believe your sincerity to help the lady in question, I wish I cud but I'm afraid I am nt allowed to, u know how NGO's works my manager is aware I did post the story here as long as no detail of the NGO or our client is revealed. The story is in anonymous. We sincerely seek for advice to help her out, we hv her coming to the office next week( can't say the day) by then we expect her to have gone past the crying stage n be ready to make a decision from a number of ideas we hope to present to her base on the gud pple of nairaland's advice. Thank u folks.[/quote]Arun
You guys should have somebody make a check on her and support her emotionally and not leave her on her own to get past the crying stage please. She must be unhappy and very depressed.
The sooner all party concerned know about this the faster a solution can be reached so her parents should be told as Odunnu said as well as Randy and his wife so that they can quit cosing up there in the US and return home to clean their mess and take care of their children before the poor girl gets out of her mind. They better get her a visa too because in nine month's time her own baby will get to be born in US too, no be only them sabi good thing. Nonsense! see how they ruined a poor girl's hardworking life.

Purply better have a doctor or knowledgeable person advise you on the drugs to avoid if you are trying to be pregnant instead of having to take a drug and wonder whether it is okay for you. I know that some worm expellers for deworming are not good to be taken if you are trying to get pregnant especially those that contains mebendazole and metronidazole. I know this because it is always noted on such drugs that you mustn't get pregnant until after 3 months after using them so think back and be sure you did not deworm recently and that you have non of those substances in your system. At this point you need to be reading about any drug you wish to take before taking it. If I were you I will avoid the intake of drugs I can do without except folic acid for now(until you take in and get prescribed the ante-natal care drugs by your doctor), ask a pharmacy student to define drugs for you and hear him/her mention poison. A pharmacy student told me that. I for one never liked drugs. I like my body natural for me and only take drugs when very necessary.

I am sure you know to be taking folic acids days or even months before now as it will help your baby' s spine and body form well. Spinach is a good natural source of folic acid, if I were you I will be including it in my breakfast , lunch and dinner everyday. Anything to have a very sweet looking baby. You go girl, I wish you baby success!

macjive01:
She went further to even wrestle him, u wud agree a fight wit such randy man wudnt hav been easy. She sounded confident in her strength n capability to fight him off if only she was dry n at least had even the sligthess of piece of clothing covering her foamy slippery body.

Poor darling, poster I am waiting for her email send it to ivorybt@yahoo.com

She did make a great mistake for not telling the first time she was rap-ed by her sister's husband and kept mute and stayed for it to happen four times. I understand that women hardly voice out such things out of fear but a 33 years old should have been wiser. The deed is done and criticism can't help her now.

@Cogicero
Let him have his last dance dear, the minute Mukina arrives here she will handle him good and our world will be safer

I never wanted to speak to anybody that calls himself the devil just be careful before you invite the real devil into yourself. You don't make jokes with such things

IyaBasira:
Temptation is everywhere. If you cannot resist your wifey's sister, then who can you resist, really?
Even if no women are brought into the home, a randy guy will still go outside.

I am aware of that sweetie but let's not bring the temps home to the table to them in the first place, did you notice that in the two stories the wives involved aided and abetted these unknowingly by insisting (even when these young girls wanted to run away from that situation) that these ladies stay around until they returned. Their concern were the welfare of their children being taken care of but if they had this knowledge beforehand they would have made other arrangements for their kids and avoided this big mess involving their own sisters not even outsiders.

@Mukina
I am just wondering whether this https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-558325.99999.html#msg7229043
should be allowed to fester. He also goes around hounding and threatening NLs of evil he will do to them. You know better.

@190
I am okay Babyboy, did you say ant in some pant??
Abeg find another pet name that is better than that one Ojare, I don't want to be an ant in 190's pant!!
I hope you have bought your winter clothes and stuffs to protect yourself from the cold?

I just read this kind of story in NL last night in this forum in the thread below
https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-272419.0.html

and the two similar things about the two stories are that this kind of problem were caused ignorantly by the wives themselves. Why will one keep a goat(that has no self will) and yams together and not expect the goat to eat the yams. Women should smarten up and open their eyes, it is dangerous to bring in full blooded ladies to live in your house along with your husband, some men with integrity can stand but most without will fall.
It has even happened to me, after passing my Jamb and waiting for an ongoing strike action to end before I can start studying at a University a pregnant cousin invited me to her place to keep her company as she was finding it hard to get a house help. It wasn't long before the husband started misbehaving, leaving his matrimonial bed at night to come and want to get close to me while I am watching movies at night. It graduated to him trying to force a kiss out of me when nobody is around. I couldn't stomach that s-h-*-t and quickly planned my escape. I visited my parents and on returning to their house deliberately told them that my parents asked me to return home. They both begged for me to stay as my cousin had merely days/hours to deliver, a day or two after that she delivered and as soon as her mother arrived on the second day to do the traditional taking care of the baby. I zoomed off from that house. My cousin in her ignorance is still proud of her weak husband whenever I come across them but I alone know him better and do not hold him in much esteem.

Poster see how you can talk to that s-t-upid man on the phone so that he can stop threatening the girl and return to Nigeria to face his irresponsibilty for truly I have no solution for randy him! If possible you can e-mail me the poor girl's e-mail or phone number, I feel very much for her and she needs to be comforted while this lasts. She needs shoulders to lean on so that she doesn't work herself up to the point of committing suicide. Emotional support for her is very important now we don't want to have to read about another suicide.

[b]All married ladies should take note of these points.
1. Having female relatives and even maids living with you and hussy is an avenue for temptation to come into your home especially if your husband is the type that has no strong will and can't control himself this is because some of these female relaitves or maids sometimes deliberately set out to seduce. If your husband has strong will and can withstand such then this does not apply to him. Female househelps and maids are better to live with if the living arrangement can give everybody space like them living on a doifferent part of the house from you and husband even at that some in such living arrangements have heard unpretty stories of hussy sleeping with such helpers and relatives so care should be taken.
2. Your female children should be carefully and seriously watched over especially if there are male relatives and maids living in your house like apprentices learning trade(nwaboyis and all) or if you are living together with other families in a rented apartments. Think twice when you send your kids to holiday with aunties and uncles and be wary of anybody that is getting too friendly to your children and all of a sudden begs to be allowed to take them to  make some trips be it camping or religious events.
3. Be watchful over your male children too, they are vulnerable to being penetrated by sick adult males.
4. Be watchful with the relationship between your children and your maids, I have heard a man narrate how he was disvirgined by his mama's maid. We have also had a thread by a woman narrating how the maid was despoiling her children while she was at work.
Help protect children from Pervs and don't turn a blind eye to the happenings in your home because some things that happen at your back under your very nose in your home have the ability to wreck your home.[/b]

Cocoa girl, what did they do to your husband? Ewoo, abeg mukina I dey follow beg you to unban Kay abeg. Freecocoa can't live without him seriously and I bet he has learnt his lesson and won't do whatever he did again. Please do for the sake of my Cocoa girl, I like to see her happy and excited all over the place whenever Kay is around.

Cocoa, you can easily get through the moderators thru this thread below
https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria?topic=505782.msg7067232#msg7067232

cap28:
With regard to her manner again i dont see anything wrong with the way in which she addressed GEJ, i think many of the negative comments directed towards her are mainly because she is - an attractive, well spoken, oxbridge  black woman.  Something tells me that this level of criticism would not have been leveled against her had she been a white man

Note that we are very proud of a young African lady like that making a great career for herself in CNN. The last time I read posts dropped in by people in this thread I didn't come across any male chauvinist herein and wonders how come you did.

cap28:
, but again i think Ms Sesay was fine - she's also very hot 

You seem to be tripping for her little wonder you are all these protective of her. I agree that she is a beautiful lady too.
Why don't you open up to her  and while you are at it do get me her contacts so that I can remind her to maintain her level-headedness on
her way reaching for the sky. She seems to have forgotten that elders must be respected, that one must allow others to finish their statements in a conversation and not cut them off rudely as if they are s-t-u-pid and that in whatever situation that one mustn't tackle an elder from such offensive sides that she did. I mean those questions can be phrased better with an unbiased mind and without sounding abrasive, confrontational and disrespectful.
Is it not our goodly-two-shoes Jonathan that could not find it in him enough to put her in her place like OBJ did in his own interview.

[quote author=Becomrich} link=topic=557181.msg7228374#msg7228374 date=1290874479]Now let me make you all laugh and fall down.
I need to ask a question, Why do Jonathan wear the same cloth everyday
It looks like, he wash the cloth every night??
Why must he dress like undertaker everyday?[/quote]Na true talk be that-o-o, make somebody tell Jonwa make im try put on jeans and some nice tops that will show babes his akpobi (macho chest and six packs) for a change now. E fit make them trip come vote am. He-he 

E-e-e-m Becomerich as we were all saying (that is if you understand me)
Isha was the one not giving Jonathan the landing space, check it out again and see. Methinks that they should have repeated the interview before showing it. It's kind of poor, Jonathan was at some point inaudible.
I didn't see where Jonathan underated her age, Jonathan that was busy defending himself because she came from an offensive side and GEJ come travel defense side , anyway act like you didn't hear what we just heard and do have a good night.

Alleluiah! Glory to God!

fstranger:
Yada yada yada yada yada yada yada
Hence, he is not worthy to be our presido because he does not speak like the Queen
inferiority complex dey worry you.
Its a pity
I wish you werent a Nigerian, but it is what it is.
SMH!

Friend, I didn't say that at all but you seem too quick to condemn me because you want to believe the worst. You are entitled to your opinion but know that you are accusing me wrongly. I don't speak Queen's English and I am not asking him to, all he needs is a little more good carriage of his English speaking.
I really like him. He looks peaceful, quiet and good-natured. If you read me well, I was talking about how his party should rally round him to make him stand tall and be able to defend himself in such circumstances.
I am not too-political really, the much interest I have in politics is that of a diplomat/ambassador representing Nigeria in some country in the future until that time arrives, I will be here working my hard dear. All I want is my country being at peace and a good leader leading us irrespective of his tribe. I hate to see people killing others.

Sagamite:
Ok, I get it.

Ivynwa gives Sagamite a bounce, shakes his hands and says "One love brother"  while giving him two thumbs up

Sagamite:
Stop chatting rubbish.
What? You want him to be blowing fake fone?

You misunderstood me dear, I am a very natural person and do not support pretense and artificiality. I don't mean that he pretends and speaks some fone, good English students will understand what I am talking about. You don't relax your mouth carelessly and allow the words come out as you like. You have to speak and make it sound good, it's the same thing as a lady leaving her body without carrying it well like a lady and throwing the legs and hands out wherever. The image she will give out is that of an unpolished person.
He can still be Jonathan standing/sitting confidently and speaking confidently.

It is true that professional journalism is "fearless journalism" and I am not asking that that African lady should tremble before Jonathan yet she showed no atom of respect that she is talking to an older person at all. She was just  too "in his face" for an African lady however much she is being paid as salary to be acting like that. One can still be fearless and respectful at the same time and not be that "I -am-very-confident, now-don't mess-with-me" that is exactly the air the girl was putting across, she seems biased too----what with that already-made up mind about Jonathan starting up some violence if elected. She was more than disrespectful, was not even giving him the opportunity to finish his sentences and rudely cuts him off, infact who knows how I can get in touch with that Isa or is it Isha (shrimp or is it even crayfish that is called Isha in Nigeria) lady so that I can tell her that to her face. Nonsense! What rudeness/bad manners is that

    Our poor Jonathan is simply a "goodly-two-shoes", I almost pitied him at some point. His party members should note that he urgently need help to up his confidence ratio and put some sweet-sounding-life and bling into his English speaking. Hey! Nobody speaks English nowadays without controlling and shapening the mouth and lips enough to have the English come out nice and sweet. Come on! I couldn't believe what I was hearing, he sure can speak more than that for sure. He seems a good man to me but he need to snap out of that "goodly-too-shoes-and -I-am-too quiet-to-hurt-a-fly" personality and sharpen up. With such stance a young lady like that can't come in his face and almost bully him with questions as if he is a helpless child.

   Now the truth of the matter is that if the whole country agreed on their zoning (I for one detest that tribalistic wand called zoning) and the North are yet to complete their turn then the truth should be faced and they should be allowed to finish their tenure. I mean until Nigeria wake up and realize that there is more to a good leader than his tribe. Till that time arrives (let the tribalism/zoning) continue and let us allow peace reign while we are at it. How on earth did they arrive at that zoning in the first place? It's so so unpretty and divisional. Like United we stand and divided we rule! If some people keep imposing themselves on the nation as rulers and are not being considerate, then they should allow the ones feeling subdued and wanting out to go and be on their own (Oh! I am wondering whether that was what caused that civil war?). Forgive me, I haven't been conceived when that took place . Seriously we are not making sense with zoning and we need to begin to make sense, the world must be laughing at that formula of ours and wondering what we are doing staying together when we can still differentiate among the tribes. If we can't tolerate, then why co-habit? May God help our country Nigeria.

soft girl:
@ post i will advice u not to leave this guy now i ones fund my self i similar situation infact men a usualy like that when they can't provide for the woman they love it got so frustrated that i alomost walked away but for the intervention of my sister and i thank God i neva did cos that man is now my husband and the father of my kids God finaly gave him a very good job and till date he does not joke with me just sept my last birthday he bought me one of the latest Toyota cars i am saying this in order to encourage u to prayerfuly ask God for his will for u maritaly if u are sure God still have a hand in it pls forgive him pray for him to get a job and go ahead with the wedding i understand how u feel but don't wory it will soon be well

Sissimi, I really wish that all things will work out for good for you as it did for soft girl for you truly deserve happiness after growing up without the love of both parents. May God's destiny and will in your life be done and may he give you the discernment you need here.

I am very happy for the ones among you that finally delivered, the ones that are pregnant and will soon deliver successfully and the ones that will soon be pregnant. Amen-o-o-o for you all in Jesus name. Amen.

I must thank God for the lives of most of you in this thread that make effort to say the word. I almost got ashamed of myself and my posts when I read some of your posts further and learnt that all your posts are really words that uplifts and edifies.
How wonderful it is that the only words that come out of your mouths are meant to edify. Now I must watch my words too. God bless you all as you labour in the vineyard of the Lord. Alleluiah!

mystikal:
Wont say i am trance lover, but I know I absolutely used to love that Sonique's ''Feels so good'' back in 98

You are right Mystikal, that song sure soaks into the heart real good.

OLAADEGBU:
My sister, you have done well by exposing the evil work of darkness, the best we can do is to pray for him that the good Lord will give him a hearing ear and a believing heart for the gospel truth so that he can be delivered from the power of darkness. We as Christians should see to it that we work out our own salvation with trembling and fear so that that day does not meet us unprepared.
Read the posts on this thread prayerfully and see that you are watchful, prayerful and always abounding in the work of our Lord who has given us the free will to choose Jesus Christ as our personal Saviour and Lord.

But how can he hear if nobody speaks the word to him

Thanks brother man, yes I will try to be getting some daily dose of the word from this thread too. My spirit needs it.

guys are confusing me the more.  I've opened my phone lines.  I wanted to completely change the lines and possibly, seek for transfer from my present location.  But, my auntie's husband tends to bend towards the guy and has been calling me to sheathe the sword.  My problem is, won't he do worse things to me?  How would I blot out his forceful violation of me on friday from my mind?

@Sisimmi
Please see how you can blot out that experience in which he forcefully violated you, it is very bad of him but his state of mind made him do that. People do worse in that state of mind and I am not justifying him. If possible let him know how much that hurt, (the gravity of that and that you will never condone that) that way you two can talk that out and get over it whether you are moving on with him or not. It is such a gross and killing thing for you to grudge over. I myself that is speaking I don't know how I can forgive that but still see how you can forgive him for the sake of the love you have shared over the years.
You don't have to block him out if you want to go out and test the water by changing your lines and stuffs (do be careful as many have said, the fish you may come across in the water may not come close to him), you need to help him get through it. I am sure you love your life and don't want him to get to that point of "I love you so much that we will rather die together than I live without you" so use your brain dear. I once advised a guy( that I was in no way compatible to but yet he liked me too much to let go) to find another friend and encouraged him until he started another relationship, now he and his woman are so thrilled talking about the baby they are expecting for him to remember how much he used to love me. The little role I managed to get from them is that of a soon to be godmother and I am thrilled too. Right now, I am acting like the mother hen or even mother-in-law to them and keep advising his woman, "hope you are eating your nutritious food and stuff?". At least everybody is happy and my life is intact for me.

My search for a solution to the strange occurence united me with my Pastor. I prayed under his guidance and the problem was resolved. He is quite an amiable, humble and very religious man who has been very supportive since then.

Pastor man has been good to you but never blindly believe in your fellow human being, ask the people that worshipped Pastor/Dr King in nigeria what happened to them and their saviour and almighty King. Only trust in God, your problems right now is that lots are blocking your mind from him and among the lots are your absolute belief in the pastor. Use your head for yourself, I hope pastor man will be able to manufacture another man for you when you need one sha.

[quote author=Mr.Bones link=topic=551840.msg7188674#msg7188674 date=1290361140]Miss. Poster what should we do? Cry for u? Abeg don't be stup1d jor. Handsome and beautiful people that are dead will gladly exchange death for your looks. Yin yin yin i might not even get married, oya u don't like urself then take your life then. **mstchew**
When u start to appreciate urself then will u see that u hve hidden beauty. As majority has said-go visit a dermatologist . But me i will say first love urself . LOL wetin u love sef? If the world was filled with handsomes and beauties what do u fink will happen?
Ma bible tells me that i'm beautifully and fearfully made. Lest i forget i are close to your creator? There is nothing impossible for him to do.
Lastly i don't like your username, Seun u fit do her a favour by changing the name to it's opposite.
THANK U![/quote]Mr Bones said it all

Oya Crawl out of the body now, abi you get some wey you created put for sale somewhere? Love what you've got. Work it until you love it, don't sit down and sulk and tell me that you hate that body. Begin to act like you like it, seek remedies for the spots and find scar removals quickly. Don't allow your body hold you in such hostage that you are too shy and afraid to go for your NYSC.
I don't have a habit of criticising but right now you need harshness to knock you out of your sulking self and get up and work the body that you've got.
I will be a bit kind to make up for my harshness and play you this nice song about a young lady like you who chose to love herself unconditionally black armpit or yellow armpit, black spot or no blackspot (the singer India Arie even have black spots on her face but it did not prevent her from loving herself and shouting it on the mountain top)

[flash=425,344]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mq86e4Fhja0?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="385"[/flash]

Girlfriends of course!

sisimmi:
I'm not one that cares about cash! In the last couple of years, I've shared everything I've ever had with him. He knows I don't care about material possessions. As I said, I met him when we were both worth nothing materially. He too doesn't care either. I know that of him! anything I have has been his, and money is NOT and can NEVER be the reason why we are splitting. That is completely true of me. I'm sure the guy would certainly land a very good job. He is very intelligent and knows his onions. That is as sure as sunrise tomorrow. I've always encouraged him to keep calm. I've consulted in church severally on his behalf. ---------------------. Before he asked me, he said he had a revealation but would not disclose it until I speak my mind. I managed to utter the word that I'm tired of the relationship. My hope was that the Pastor would counsel, advice and encourage us to settle amicably! That was what took me there. AND, my entire family believes this pastor so well. I completely believe him too because his predictions have never failed! So, to me it was a rude shock when he began to speak that we are not destined to marry; that if we try, we would end up burying one of us prematurely.

@Poster

Your fiance sounds like a wonderful person from the tone of his letter and I am glad that you believe that he has a great future before him. What is causing all these problem is the distance between you too (which exposed him to cheating) and the job friction (which seems to be affecting his ego as a man and frustrating him). If these two frictions were not there you two would have been married perhaps by this same pastor that all of a sudden is divining damnation for you. Girlfriend why will you believe your fellow human being? Nobody knows tommorrow but God, you can't imagine how many families have been divided by such beliefs in fake prophecies.

You know, I have tried all I can, to bring you back to me! And, you are leaving me a very broken and devastated man. And you know deep inside you that I love you so dearly that I cannot do anything to cause you physical harm or bring shame to you

According to his letter quoted above,your boy needs you to scale thru this situation to a time that you two will be living together blissfully and you have been wonderful so far, find it in your heart to forgive him. You two can make out time and spend like a week together away from everybody else and see how it goes. Methinks that 13 years is too long for a relationship and that if you succeed with making up your differences that you guys should bridge the distance gap so as to be close or even tie the knot (if and only if you really want to do it). If you don't wish to continue, you are free to do your wish but do help him get over it as it is not easy on him as it is. This matter is a very delicate issue that can snowball into something else so you two have to be careful, where I live people wake up almost every month to see that one,two or three husbands/fiance have killed themselves and their wives/fiancee simply because the wives/fiancee does not want to get on. The frustration of such lost love can drive humans to things which may even be what drove him into forcing himself on you.
   Be truthful to your self and know whether you can get on with him and if you can't, you must handle him with absolute love and care while he goes thru the breakup. Wishing you the best.

Ujujoan:
---------------and your man saw that as a threat. You should calm his fears, not escalate the matter

Miss Ujujoan is right some there, in as much as I don't agree that our Mr. honourable wants some favour in return for his favour (as there are still good people out there) but your boy might be jealous of your relationship with him. The husband of a colleague of mine had inferiority issues with a good family friend that was supporting my colleague then and giving her hundred millions Naira fixed deposit.
A man is bound to have some level of inadequate feelings when a richer man is always around his woman unless the woman does a good job of managing the situation well and making her man comfortable. I hope you are not always getting on "honourable this and honourable that" when you are with him, if possible I will advise that you scrape the honourable title for the man and use his name eg (Mr 190) when you are discussing anything that has to do with him with your fiance. Fiance should be the one to be celebrated in your home first before any other man, don't you think so?