₦airaland Forum

softandmoist:
Good afternoon Tearoses.
Weldon.
First, the boy has to be brought in to see an opthalmologist to see what can be done. If a surgery is needed, it will be arranged.
Second, Pacelli School for the blind, located at Ogunlana in Surulere is the available option for the kid. I did a story on them for a publication last year so I can find out about enrolment and all. It's free as far as I know, run by the Catholic diocese. It's a boarding facility too.
Opthalmologists only come in Mondays, Wednesdays, Thursdays and Fridays, and its based on appointments.
Let me know if you need further clarifications.

Over to you Tearoses

youngdoctor:
I'm a Christian that earns a decent salary as a doctor*(nearly 7 digits)*.have had plenty relationships with christain ladies..(my immediate Ex is a chorister in a catholic church)*.but things fell apart..now I'm in love and in a serious relationship with a Muslim lady..can this impede our progress??..

What has your income got to do with the subject matter?

It's simply not going to work IF either of you hold strong religious views

A friend of mine works at metroeyes so i will see if she can help arrange an appointment (This is in my own private capacity and has nothing to do with TeHN)


cc: softandmoist

Fhemmmy:
TheN... thanks for these great options BUT would it possible to raise funds for the cute boy and maybe option of medical to the fullest and rehabilitation for him might be possible ....

It's hard to commit to that since we don't know if corrective surgery is possible and its cost if at all possible.


Best approach is for any willing volunteer to investigate the surgery route before we can consider cost and other ad hoc requests

Mynd44:
Can't find it

send me an email

Mynd44:
*grabs popcorn*

This is hawt!!!!

You've got mail

Toks2008:
Trust me pal,i don't even know if you are married and the reason why i had a bad marriage is a topic for another day but the truth is that you are not communicating and i really hate it when people fail to be intellectually sound in articulating their opinionated views without a dint of vulgarity or social decorum.

I would have never brought it up for scrutiny if your sense of reasoning wasn’t all that different. Not like marriages don’t break up for the flimsiest of reasons but one wonders why you will work your butt off to solely provide for your family and still end up heart broken. Yes we need to view it with a microscope.

I wouldn’t even challenge you intellectually cos surely if you have any iota of intellect, you would have been able to deduce that it’s almost impossible for those living beyond the shores of Nigeria to depend on one source of Income in order to experience the quality of life they deem fit.

Toks2008:
I am a man who was brought up in a whole different way and not one daddy's boy or mummy's boy who gets the toys he wanted or get that chocolate pack whenever daddy or mummy comes back from work. I did not school in those eyebrow institutions but today i am who i am and i can stand in the office of the number one citizen of this country or in any other exalted position with my face held up and i know my worth and my place and that is because of the inherent virtue that have guided me.

So you were brought up with values but it’s obvious common sense wasn’t one of them. The world we live in as evolved and women are empowered. You can’t compare the world where men had exclusive rights to all opportunities to the world we currently live in. The beauty of a family is when they share common goal and both actively participate in reaching the goal.

Toks2008:
I am a goal getter,an achiever,a man in every aspect and please do not expect me to be on the same page with your school of taught that believes that a woman MUST have a sharing formula in financing the home front.

A woman is not a or the bread winner neither was she ever designed to be one but a help mate,a succor,an assistant and these sums it up. Now here is my strong opinionated stands... No man should force,cajole or make it a responsibility for a lady to part with her money but if she will need to spend even a dime on the home front,it must be optional.

I am not making reference to a sudden twist of financial status for a man who now finds himself helpless and at the mercy of his wife but even in such situation please be dignified.

No one is forcing them to do something they should freely do as their contribution to the household. It’s as simple as that.
It’s not like I’m saying it’s a mandatory requirement for them to get married. An empowered woman with equal footing should normally contribute her own quota to the success of the family as a unit.

Toks2008:
I would rather borrow 50k in a whole month from my wife and from that 50k provide for her and the babies even if it means we will be eating beans all the way and in such cases if she decides to contribute more,it will be at her discretion but how can i be so broke and the next thing i do is start spending my wife's money as though its mine or go to her for money today and money tomorrow?

This is what I sincerely don’t get and can’t seem to comprehend. You will borrow money from your wife to run your household? Makes no damn sense and it’s extremely shameful for you to even do such cos that makes you less of a man. You should always ensure you meet your mutually defined obligations as the husband not treating your wife as a bank.

Now if you took care of all the essentials bills and she used her own funds to provide the food that y’all eat, surely you won’t have the need to be borrowing to provide beans for the family.

It just doesn’t makes sense that you had to choose to suffer just so you can massage your almighty ego

Toks2008:
Please i need reasonable guys in the house to feel my point. A financially buoyant lady should be a plus for a man but not what a man should clamor for or strive to have and even when im really compelled to run from financially dependent lady for now due to present situation,i still believe that it is indeed the duty of a man to provide for his woman even if she is the richest woman in the world and of-course for his family with WHATEVER HE HAS and if the woman in his life decides to help out fine,after-all they are our HELPERS but once a man consciously and officially starts sharing or delegating his manly duties tyo his wife then he should watch it because he is crossing that crazy line.

Because it’s the duty of the man to provide for the family doesn’t make it less of a duty for the woman to contribute towards the success of the same family.

Toks2008:
IN MY PERSONAL OPINION,IT IS SICKENING,BARBARIC AND TOTALLY DEMEANING FOR A MAN TO EVEN THINK ABOUT THIS LET ALONE PUT IT INTO PRACTICE.

If you have problems with this please note..IT IS MY OPINION.

I put it to you that it’s stupid and outright ridiculous for you to continuously be stuck in the 19th century way of thinking. How can any sane man restrict his family some sort of necessary privilege just so he can massage his little ego.
Would you insist that your kids go to rubbish school because that’s all you can afford and your ego wouldn’t allow your wife contribute something that will benefit you both?
Do you think it’s only the father that has to provide everything financial towards the raising of your children?

This dude needs help... I mean serious help!

Geez!

Toks2008:
NEWS FLASH: I have been technically married for 11years and officially for 5 years until 3years ago and why the split? 70%FINANCE so you sit your ass down no matter how old you are and be objective enough to learn from people and even the unmarried because we can learn one or two things from anyone.

A MAN DOES NOT OFFICIALLY SHARE FINANCIAL RESPONSIBILITY WITH HIS WIFE

First and foremost, you aren’t the only one with years of marriage experience so get that straight. Second of all, I would like to know the reason why your marriage didn’t work since you’ve claimed on this board weeks back that it had nothing to do with infidelity. Perhaps it had something to do with your egocentric nature?

You can’t go into a marriage with a superman mind-set and expect it to work.
Obviously, It’s safe to assume you had be the type that will demand she does all the manual jobs in the house because you’ve made yourself the sole breadwinner.
Obviously, it will be difficult for her to have an opinion when it comes to finances and/or decisions on major projects because it’s your money which you have singly earned with outright right to spend as you wish

Toks2008:
It is unmanly and shameful. Even if your wife suggests it be quick to let her realize that you appreciate but should rather save up the money while you try your best to still provide for her and the children if any.

It’s simply idiotic and outright stupid for you to consider a position with just one possible outcome. So you will basically continue working 24/7 just to prove you are the man even if it’s clear your wife can support the family where possible?

Toks2008:
Now get this clearly, a man can lose his job or suddenly finds himself broke and there is nothing wrong in a lady helping her man out in this ituation nevertheless its not by asking her for 2k today and 5k tomorrow. If she is a very low income earner or money monger then GOD help you.

This is just plain ridiculous to be honest with you. How can you establish a mind-set that you will always provide then suddenly expect her to support you when you can’t ?
Why sell a lifestyle that you know won’t/can’t be sustainable since you’ve rightly agreed that there is the possibility of you being incapable of fulfilling your responsibility

You are simply a perfect example of those men that will cry foul that their woman ain’t supportive even though you’ve done this that for them. Why would they I ask if all you had be trying to do is introducing a new phenom into an already established agreement

Toks2008:
The subject matter is about a man practically going into sitting agreement with his wife to share financial responsibilities.IT IS TOTALLY ABSURD.

How is it absurd if the contribution is entirely going towards the household?

Toks2008:
If i make 100k monthly and my wife makes 400k,i will plan my family with 100k and if she decides to bring in any other stufs i will appreciate but rather advice that she saves up that money.

How stupid of you, so you had deliberately restrict your family from life of luxury just so you can massage your ego?
You had basically send your kids to public school even when it’s clear that investment in good quality education almost certainly yield desired results in the long run

Toks2008:
I agree to financial transparency as in knowing how much she makes and i will never abuse that privilege. While i was still with my ex, i set her up in business,and she was making some money yet I STILL GIVE HER WEEKLY ALLOWANCE not minding and i make that a top priority even when there are times i had good reasons not to give her due to financial constraints.

I’m interested in why it didn’t work despite being a superman

Toks2008:
Look if you are a man reading this, NO WOMAN RESPECTS A MAN WHO ASKS A WOMAN FOR PETTY CASH OR DEPENDS ON HER FOR FINANCIAL SUCCOR.

Good righteous women won’t see it as such since they had be seeing whatever contribution they make as their shared responsibility for the success of their marriage

Toks2008:
Apparently you are getting it so twisted.A guy can suddenly ind himself broke and might just be fortunate to have a rich lady as a partner or spouse who may decide to help him bounce back.

This is a different ball game from the guy depending on the lady for 10k,20k,5k and any responsible man will find this annoying.

A lady can loan a guy huge sum for him to use purposefully and many guys have really become millionaires by the help of their wife for instance MKO Abiola and many more.

Its one thing for a man to be aided by a financially buoyant spouse and another different ball game for the man to be a consistent demanding partner.

As for me, its a NO NO to share my responsibilities with my wife,or depend on her finance for this and that,honestly its annoying demeaning and foolish.

You are not making any sense at it's obvious you aren't married.

You need to get yourself outta the mindset of me me me in a marriage. There is no singular in marriage and all income earned should be for the marriage

It's idiotic to be suggesting a man should loan money from the wife then share the proceeds as at when it yields results.

I accept that circumstances are different and all as in you could be the sole earner or whatever but that doesn't mean you should still make yourself the superman without making her responsible for some family expenditures.
What happens if God forbid you lose your source of income and the stupid pride has enabled you cultivate the singular culture in your marriage?

You had better throw your mindset in the bin Unless you are already a wealthy man

kilode100:
Nna, forget the poster and her wahala jare..

You do know you look very good and ever since I click on your profile, my life has not been the same. What I'm trying to say in case you're a novice is that I dig you

Just say hi and put this Lover girl out of her misery.

Hi lover girl

Busybody2:
Spare me the lies and balderdash and BS, newsflash, "the fact that Tehn official Spokesperson does not have any personal beef whatsoever with me" MEANS THAT HE STARTED HIS SMEAR CAMPAIGN ON THAT THREAD AGAINST ME AND MY CHILDREN "ONLY" TO DEFEND TEHN. END OF...I have never ever had any other altercation with Jaybee on/off Nairaland. He stated this motive clearly on the thread, stop feigning ignorance to save Tehn face!!!


Again, it's a forum and not your forum so no one is forcing or begging you to read nor will you get paid to read so gboju mehn and stop feeling fly with your sly self!!!

Why do you lie so much ehn? Where on earth did i mention or attack your children?
I have a problem with you not them so why would i give a fvck about them?

I have a probelm with you because you are spreading rumours that we are killing people

I have a problem with you because you have questioned MY integrity

I have a problem with you because of your continuous allegation of gross negligence. So you know, we wouldn't have uprooted John Doe to India with no clear direction of how the bills will be paid if we were to start the case all over.

I have a problem with you because you continuously mentioned TeHN spending close to 2M on DJ's case even though it's one of your deliberate attempt to paint us bad.
Here is the itemisation of what was spent and i'm sure you aren't blind to see the spread of the expenditures => https://www.nairaland.com/1995601/rip-djdola-miss/157#31585196


BTW: I'm still waiting for your idiotic county court summon so i can finally put a sock in it. I've also gathered my own evidences so bring it on

Toks2008:
Im begining to see how special,different and disciplined i am when it comes to taking my eyes off my woman finances.

i may be as broke as brokelyn but i give no hute about my lady s money.

if you like be a billionaire,i will still buy your undies for you with my money because thats my duty,to take care of my woman

some guys are real jerks.

That much pride in your own marriage, who are you competing with?

So you will deliberately stop growing as a family so you can always be the MAN or how else would you navigate an income/expenditure mismatch

kilode100:
Op, you were not right hoohaa.

You knew, that you married a toy man whose only interest in the marriage was your money and now that you ve stopped him from assessing those funds, what do you honestly think will happen??

I am not in support of him but the money aspect was what made him push the "chicks" away and he decided to marry and do right by you.

Give him his right and ve Your peace of mind o... That your quiet husband will soon become a thorn in your flesh if you don't.

NB; never start what you can't finish.

How would she have been able to find that out before marriage when it's not as if he has always had access to her account

Besides, why have you comfortable ignored the fact that it's OUR projects not HIS projects?

The husband has obviously gotten comfortable with the idea of using her as a financial buffer hence why it's necessary to approach it with an agreed budget approach where the both parties agree on a month by month basis using needs based assessment to decide on expenditure and % contributions

enoqueen:
One of the many mistakes we women make is allowing our men know that we av money.

U did not do anything wrong and let it remain so even after paying ur fees.

When men sees money with us, they will be coming up with different project that they cannot do alone just to make sure that we spend what we av.

Do you understand and accept that marriage is a partnership?
Do you realise a relationship based on pretence or deliberate falsehood has no chance?

You absolutely do not need to lie about your worth if you are the more financially responsible of the two. You can always say No whenever you aren't comfortable with any financial request

Why are we even debating this since he has proven his financial irresponsibility time and time again with no iota of remorse.

You already know it's an issue that affects you and the family so the common sense approach is work out and agree to a family budget where both of you will transfer your monthly contributions into an account that both of you will have access to.

Open a new account that only you can access so you can save your remaining share of your salary into it.

You can't keep exposing yourself to his lack of financial control. If you keep allow him with putting any checks and balances in place then you will surely suffer as family going forward

Please under No circumstances should you start hiding things from him as honesty has to be embedded in your relationship. Part of the honesty is you having the brutally honest conversation on how you going to approach the case going forward.

He already knows what you earn and you are allowed to save and spend whatever % share of the salary as you deem fit

Sleekyshuga:

A dull dude gets a dull response..
It takes two to tango ..

Hmmm

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LUKCsUoj9UE

eleshin:
Is it true that Bastian is out for 9months?

Bastian is currently playing with a cigar whilst marshalling the defense with so much poise

Memphis is definitely a baller

I'm impressed

We will look into the case to see how we can be of help

As always, no guarantees as we will have to consider the merit, complexity and extent of involvement before arriving at a decision

How come they didn't bother to proofread the article before posting it on their website?


How could it have depreciated by 42 naira if the baseline value as at June 28 is 220 naira

Surely it's a very simple subtraction which would have enabled them arrive at N22

We definitely have to recommend family planning to them as the bare minimum. They already have 3 kids and now expecting additional 2

Maybe we should just focus on the boy if there is anything that can be done to remedy the situation

#Just thinking out aloud


Thanks caracta... Much appreciated

Teespice:
Oya tell me the truth.

how many women have u used this approach for.

Hehehehe

bamidele029:
I was wondering o, 3 times ke it's not even near 2 times . All these bloggers and lies

It was during GEJ's presidency that the naira got devalued and the value of the dollar around that tine in the parallel market hovered between 210-220.

Therefore, 1.2 times is the magic multiple

Enypie:
His extra cash.

Correct girl

Straight up honesty the way we like it

Sleekyshuga:
You want to add her to the list of 75 ladies you are following??

Fear God oo ..

Choi na wa oooo

cockblocking on kentro level

Religion + New baby = Antichrist?

jackyraw09:
This does work but don't say it in a gentleman manner else u r a goner, be a bit aggressive when approaching

a lady the first time. something like "Good day, you look good etc.." is a turn-off and isn't gonna get u her digit

but go thus .. "heyy, i said hi but u finding it hard to respond. hope no ishh?" she go respond "sorry but i didn't hear"

THAT'S if she's interested in u (ur dress sense and accent/voice or how mature u look comes into play here).

If she ignores u then just free her.

If she replies by apologizing then u go at her again by saying "it's okay but i'm seeing u around for the first time. What's ur name?"

and then continue ur journey of getting her number.

obviously it depends on what you are complementing them on.
I don't expect the boring "Hi you look so beautiful" rubbish

If she dazzles in a bright red dress, then say something along the line of "Wow, that dress sure going to turn heads today. Fits you perfectly"

If her black hair Mongolian or whatever they call it is curvy, say something along the line of "Surely, this weather won't do justice to such a beautiful hair you got on"

Above all, your approach matters and you need to be able to come up with something witty on the get go.

Women don't have time for all 'em formal approach ish. Be confident and see results

SomebodyLovesMe:
90% of Nairalanders mix those words up! For you not to have noticed, you are evidently among them.

Read the article and thank the OP.

Does it really matter though?

We are still able to communicate without paying too much attention to minute differences that may exist in English words

The easiest icebreaker that will most certainly get their attention is by complementing their look

elantraceey:
I thought as much. Their owner hasn't come around yet.



No more questions of this sort.

heheheheh