[size=28pt]Find condom in your man’s pocket?[/size]
By GIDEON OPARINDE
Sunday, July 5, 2009


Segun was in Abuja for a three-day official assignment. As he was unpacking his bag at his hotel, he found two packs of condom hidden in his luggage. He knew he did not put it there. It was the handiwork of his wife who does not want to take chances with the health of her spouse.

Many women are coming to terms with the reality of their men probably having an affair or an occasional fling. We sought the opinion of some of them if, by accident, they find condom in their man’s pocket. Their responses:

ODESOLA ABOSEDE
There is nothing I can say. Of course I will be happy to find a condom in his pocket, knowing that he is being careful not to impregnate another woman or infect me with diseases. But I rather would advice him to be careful when keeping a relationship outside marriage. This, I understand happens because some men don’t want to make their wives sex machines, so they go out to satisfy their sexual urge from other ladies or women who have the energy and strength to meet their demands. So, I will always advice him to use condom whenever he is hanging out with other ladies. There is no problem finding a condom in his pocket because it makes me safe with him

MRS. EBOTIE LUCY
For me, if peradventure I find condom in my husband’s pocket, I won’t take it up with him violently. No. All I need is some explanations. Yes, explanations on where and how he got it and where he uses it. If his explanation is convincing enough, I might overlook it. But if he sounds incoherent, I would not take it lightly with him. I simply will conclude he is cheating on me and that could infect me with diseases.
I remain with him on the condition that sex will be out of our lives to be on the safe side, condom or no condom.

.MRS. JONES
I would do is ask him if he was given at a seminar or in the office. But if he did not get it in either of these places, I will only advice him to be extra careful in his affairs with other women.

DAMMY JOSEPH
Definitely I won’t be happy because it shows he is not being faithful to me. In other words, it shows that he is cheating on me. But on the other hand, I will be happy because at least he is protecting himself from deadly diseases and unwanted pregnancy.
No man is an exemption to extra-marital affair. It is their nature to cheat on their wives, no matter how beautiful and respectful their wives might be, they still look out. It is only God that could change this nature of theirs.

MRS. KENNY
I trust my husband, so I would not think negatively of him for he cannot cheat on me.
The fact that I found a condom in his pocket does not put it that he is unfaithful to me. It could be that he was given by these health safety awareness officials.

OSASONA DUPE
I will not hold issues against him because he must have been given at a seminar or health conference. On the other hand, he might buy it for safety purpose. But if I noticed he was hiding it from me, I would ask him and his response would determine my reaction towards him.

MRS. GEMBA RABIAT
As for me, my husband does not sleep out because I know him that much, but for other women I may not know. If I find condom in his pocket, I will ask him how he came about it before I get annoyed. One, some offices share condoms, while sometimes it is shared in seminars or when they have some awareness programmes on how to prevent unwanted diseases or unwanted pregnancies.
His reactions would show whether he is faithful or not and I will not ask him again in order to avoid more terrible consequences.

CYNTHIA NDIANAEFO
We shouldn’t be jumping at conclusions. Finding condom in his pocket does not mean there is something fishy, no.
Definitely, I will feel bad in the sense that I will feel perhaps; I was not satisfying him enough. If he tells me I’m not treating him well, I definitely will adjust because no one is perfect.
Nevertheless, there are men that cannot be satisfied with just one woman. These categories of men, I would say, have reasons behind their behavior. Moreover, I will not quarrel with him, but will make him my best friend in order to know his weak points and know how to handle the ugly situation.

MRS MARY SIMEON
Condom is a package used for sexual protection. Some organizations distribute condoms to its staff. It might be given to him in the office or at a seminar. Aside these, should I find a condom in my husband’s pocket, I will feel cheated, though it will not make me get mad at him. As a responsible and learned person, I will ask him first, and if he gives a genuine reason then I’ll for it.
I will take up the case prayerfully so it would not get out of hands because despite the love that brought us together, men will always be men.

MRS PEACE DANIEL
I would first want to know how he came about the condom, because sometimes it’s is distributed in either the office or at seminars. Finally, as husband and wife, we need to believe in each other. So I will believe in whatever he tells me.

HANNAH N WAGUZOR
It depends on the individual. If find a condom in his pocket, the first thing I will do is make enquiry how he got it, but in a soft manner that would not stir up trouble.
If you take it up in a fight and it turns out that he is innocent, it might cause him to do what you are accusing him of. If he is guilty, I would ask him where I had gone wrong or lacking so I can fix things, because if a man cannot see your value as a wife, abusing the marriage is inevitable. So, as a virtuous woman, I have to make him, help him; stand by him, even in his mistakes. http://www.sunnewsonline.com/webpages/features/wiveslive/2009/july/05/wiveslive-05-07-2009-001.htm

something for nothing nigerian mentality. greedy idiot

walestar:

Alhaja, I am a christian, I cannot date true muslim and true christian too. I am close to true Alhaji and true pastor who doesn't discriminate. I can date muslims and christians but not the religious type. you can see me in mosque or church because I don't give any shit about religious, I live life to the fulliest and believe churches and mosques are ordinary building and the people going there make the churches and mosques themselves, our heart is what matter. Do not carry the so called reliqious on you head maddam

love is blind marriage will open your eyes. you are what i call CINO ( christian in name only)

tpia@:

I doubt it.

Even if we share the same religion there'll be problems talkless having different places of worship.

some people love marriage of convinience

Georgette$:

I greet all of you. New to nairaland, don't know if this is the correct place to post this as I don't know much of this site.


Please does anyone know how i can find my/a talent, like i have so many dreams like singing, acting, model, writing books, charity organisation, artist, dancer, fashion designer, make up artist, best tailor, cook so much more but I don't know how to start or where 2 start 4rm. How can I get there?
pls stop by and help. thanx.

whaich of these do you love best? if i called you a tailor will you be angry?
which brings out the best of you?

sweetpie23:

okay let start like this: why did you break up with him?

it doesnt matter how you break off with anyone.  it is your life and only you can permit people access to it. no should mean no. period.

s-joys ltd:

call 070-29408122 for your schengen, serbia, ukrain, china, malaysia, cuba, venezuela, south africa etc.

payment is when your visa is out.

how did schengen expend to these countries serbia, ukrain, china, malaysia, cuba, venezuela, south africa etc.

no excuse for craziness

Osel:

An existing international school @ good center of maitama Abuja is for sale for Amount of #1.3Billion. 08073511813. 08035682969.

what books do you have for inspection oga?

marmaduke:

Contact the Nairaland Lawyer on this Forum. I will recommend him to anybody. Trust Me he is very very good. He helped me purchase a property in Ogombo Lekki when i contracted him for his services and i dont regret using him for one minute and if not because of him, i would have fallen victim of these land fraudsters . He is very thorough in his work and will advise you properly. It took me almost 4 months to buy a land i wanted because everyone that he investigated had problems on it and he advised me not to pay or throw my money away until he found the right one for me and sorted my legal land papers well and the funniest thing is that he wont be demanding for money from you until he completes his job. I wish you good luck though.

why not give his details as the oother guy did. but make sure you are telling truth cos u will be exposed

Tudór:

You haven't fallen under anointing because samuel the prophet isn't around anymore to pour oil on peoples head. He's DEAD.

you answer your name rightly

Lagosboy:

Oga i will answer you as the statement in bold is my whole arguement on this thread. A criminal act was commited the govt and police smashed it , then someone levels the reason for the crime at the doorstep of islam. Why should anyone without an evil intention drag religion into it in the first instance. The issue of forced marriage is not of islam and i have said it times without numbers on this forum, that some people say forced mariage is islamic does not make it right. I t is a rule in islam that when a girl is forced into marriage, that marriage canot be termed legal. Most of these things happen in the uneducated areas and not within enlightened people.  IF anyone wants to talk about islam and forced marriage we could go to the religious section to trash it out.  you know this is not true.

This thread is about a crime and forver will it remain a crime , why is it when a crime is commited in an islamic area suddenly his religion comes to play. A criminal is a criminal regardless of his religion.  [size=15pt]next time you hear anyone talking about crime in kaduna dont turn it into religious fight you hear?[/size]

@Kobojunkie you keep stressing something has been done in the name of islam, is there any report that these criminals suggests islam is the reason for this crime? If only you will be objective and think how on earth could anyone justify child prostituition.

I am sick and tired of people who will never see issues beyond their religious pin holed mindset

nice try.  you are no 1 person i can say is guilty of this here.  i know u must have heard this week in your UK news of the rise of these forced marriages by mainly pakistanis and bangladeshis. in your book these are mainly christians and their christianity affected thier actions.

why did nagosboy not answer my question on how many 12yrs he has slept with?

coca cola, ribenna and not brushing every evening has a lot to answer for. there must be a dentist for this in lagos or abuja. sorry

like all fools before you the good book will judge you one day.  there is a silent witness watching this discussion between usand you will so judged. today is not your end so you still have time to repent and change your life. Christ is a friend and not an enemy. i know u like your priviledge to live as immoral as much as you like to bebut if that is all you think you were created you are most miserable of all men. 

[size=28pt][list]
[li]The Fool Says in His Heart : There is no God. . .

[/li]

[/list][/size]

love letter? do we know what love mean?

RajalAadi:

I'm new to this board, but not new to Nigeria or West Africa or it's cultures as a whole. I have traveled a lot and I've seen the world and much of what it contains. There is a lot of positivity out there and much common ground between cultures. My post is about the the use of "Akata" and why I find it funny. But I'll return to that once I introduce my experiences.

In my teens, I used to really  have a sense of commonality with West African people, it didn't matter whether Nigerian, Ivorian or whatever. In fact, my sister's husband is from Ivory Coast. Traveling to Africa as a teenager was a very pleasant experience and I had lots of fun. Nigeria was interesting and people were very kind and generous offering whatever they had to me.

That being said, as an adult, traveling back and forth to Africa (Nigeria included) and dealing with West African people here in the states, on a more mature level, it's clear, that Africans and African-Americans, really have nothing in common. The only major thing, in fact, is ignorance.

But, from the posts I've read on this forum, it seems that most of you guys (from Nigeria) have only come in contact with a certain segment of Black American culture and use this as your basis for reference or choose to ignore other segments. Fortunately, we (African-Americans) are not a monolithic group and granted neither are Nigerians or West Africans, but you guys seem really in the dark and have an over-inflated sense of self importance. To support that point, I point to how many West African people in the real world and on this forum deal with African-Americans in a really condescending tone. I'm confused why this is and what you're proud of or arrogant about? I could understand if you said, I am proud of my culture or my history - that would be understandable. But, most of you guys (Nigerians) imitate Black American culture, very poorly I might add, or you just imitate European culture. And when you do "dress" in what would be considered "traditional" dress, it's just a shell of a custom or tradition, it's nothing real or impressive.

Which brings me to the point of topic, on what grounds do you find yourselves (Nigerians) able to look down on African Americans or use this term "Akata?" Speaking very honestly, nobody and yes, nobody outside of Africa is impressed with you guys. The accomplishments that were achieved by the hand of West African people is in the past and today, nothing significant has comes out of West Africa by its own hand. Again I ask, what are you so proud of? African Americans, as a race of people, have many problems yes, however, we have education, money, many contributors to the world and society through science, technology, business and the like. How many significant figures have come out of West Africa in the 20th century? I'll give you one, Emmanuel Emeagwali. He's the man that created the computers that allowed for many of the communications we have today. However, those computers were obsolete years ago.

West African people are extremely capricious, immature in mind, and are very narrowly sighted. Just try getting into a debate with a person from West Africa and and no doubt they will resort to yelling as a way to prove their point. Or reverse it, if you ask a West African person, how do you prove a point, they would probably tell you, just yell your point louder. (haha, Just joking) I will say, though, that to every rule there are exceptions and I have met many people who are very good people but they are the vast minority. And when I do run across sober-minded West African people, they will tell you themselves that yeah, you can't deal with "their people" in certain ways or on certain matters.

African-Americans and Africans have nothing in common. African Americans are a people and culture in and of themselves and while I believe African Americans should take from their history routed in Africa, through DNA sourcing, lineal research, study etc., I do not believe that the jump should be made to try and tie the African person of today with the African-American person of today culturally, because we are not the same. Intellectual Americans of any race cannot deal with West African people, in general, on matters of progress or for the common good, unless they are just using them. Only those West Africans I mentioned before with sober minds and the capacity to see the state of their people as afflicted the same as intelligent African Americans would see the afflictions and admit to it, in their own people have anything in common. And what is that common thread between them? Common sense. Most African American's I've come into contact with in Africa who do business there wind up taking the  position of the white people, which is don't wast your time dealing with the local people, they're hopeless to deal with. They say, just make money and keep it moving.

However, it's clear that most of you have been limited to an ignorant Black American class, and yes, who wouldn't feel superior to anyone ignorant. Try speaking to someone with half of a brain or culture from amongst AA's and you guys will fail every time.

Your lands are about to be raped at an alarming rate by the Chinese, Americans and Europeans because your people are backwards. Africa is the only continent, as a whole, in the world where the armies of each country do not fight or defend against other countries. They just kill and punish their own people. Yes dumb African-American youth shoot and kill each other, however, you guys have institutionalized it. How f'n stupid. At least African Americans have a balancing segment of their race. Even college students that come here from West Africa just get jobs and contribute nothing of significance to the world, generally speaking.

Nigerians, pipe down with Akata non-sense. Because outside of African, you play no major role - nor within Africa for that matter.

Many of you guys ask why African American's find the term 'Akata' offensive, it's because of the tone with which it is used. I'm simply asking, where do you get the pride and arrogance to be condescending and what is based on?

mmmmmmmmmm what are u on?

Lagosboy:

It amazes me you say i want religion not dragged into this and then you say i bring the west into this. Is the west a religion?? I just dont get your comparison. My whole point was Child prostitution is a crime according to evry law in this life so whay has islam got to do with child prostituiton. The many peadophiles in the west is taht as a result of islam as well?? Thas was the rationale for bringing the west into this and looking at the isue on a global scale not some pin holed religious mind.
Islam is not an antonym to the west. The west is not a religion and i repeat religionshould not be dragged into this . A crime is a crime and lets treat is as crime. Like someone said if this hapened in Yoruba land no one will like it to religion. Give kudos to the govt for bursting the criminals and lets hope they are prsoecuted and not use this as an opportunity to attack a religion.
Islam is a religion, The West is a group of countries. No link in here.

[b]Aagin the topic of discussion had strayed away from prostitution to child sex. I was establishing a fact that 11 yr old girls and 12 yr old having sex is not out of place in the society and happens everywhere. Pills are only useful to a physically matured girl.[/b]

 secretary general of NL mujahadeens,  you never stop to amaze me. when was the last time you slept with your quota of 12yrs old?  i think you are an enemy of islam the way you defend the foolishness islamic society does.   you dont have to be religious to know what has been done here is vile and wicked.  religion should not even come into it.  2  Timothy 2 :19 says.

" New International Version (©1984)
Nevertheless, God's solid foundation stands firm, sealed with this inscription: "The Lord knows those who are his," and, "Everyone who confesses the name of the Lord must turn away from wickedness."

New American Standard Bible (©1995)
Nevertheless, the firm foundation of God stands, having this seal, "The Lord knows those who are His," and, "[b]Everyone who names the name of the Lord is to abstain from wickedness."[/b]

International Standard Version (©2008)
However, God's solid foundation still stands. It has this inscription on it: "The Lord knows those who belong to him," and "Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord must turn away from evil."

GOD'S WORD® Translation (©1995)
In spite of all that, God's [people] have a solid foundation. These words are engraved on it: "The Lord knows those who belong to him," and "[size=18pt]Whoever worships the Lord must give up doing wrong.[/size]"

that the Godless oyinbos are doing it is no excuse for you to be doing it okay.  

nawa for you.  i try to understand you sometimes but you keep moving the goal post.

edogram.:

my guy, nothing de happen.

if u believe in God u go knw say nothing de happen.

even if the mami water say na snake toto i Bleep, na eh own be that, all i know na toto i Bleep.

believe in God should make you not sleep with everything that moves. the word says in proverbs 6 &

2 Timothy 2 :19

" New International Version (©1984)
Nevertheless, God's solid foundation stands firm, sealed with this inscription: "The Lord knows those who are his," and, "Everyone who confesses the name of the Lord must turn away from wickedness."

New American Standard Bible (©1995)
Nevertheless, the firm foundation of God stands, having this seal, "The Lord knows those who are His," and, "Everyone who names the name of the Lord is to abstain from wickedness."

International Standard Version (©2008)
However, God's solid foundation still stands. It has this inscription on it: "The Lord knows those who belong to him," and "Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord must turn away from evil."

GOD'S WORD® Translation (©1995)
In spite of all that, God's [people] have a solid foundation. These words are engraved on it: "The Lord knows those who belong to him," and "[size=18pt]Whoever worships the Lord must give up doing wrong."[/size]

Proverbs 6 Warning Against Adultery

23 For these commands are a lamp,
this teaching is a light,
and the corrections of discipline
are the way to life,

24 [b]keeping you from the immoral woman,
from the smooth tongue of the wayward wife.

25 Do not lust in your heart after her beauty
or let her captivate you with her eyes,

26 [size=16pt]for the prostitute reduces you to a loaf of bread,
and the adulteress preys upon your very life.[/size]

27 Can a man scoop fire into his lap
without his clothes being burned?

28 Can a man walk on hot coals
without his feet being scorched?

29 So is he who sleeps with another man's wife;
no one who touches her will go unpunished.[/b]

30 Men do not despise a thief if he steals
to satisfy his hunger when he is starving.

31 Yet if he is caught, he must pay sevenfold,
though it costs him all the wealth of his house.

32 But a man who commits adultery lacks judgment;
whoever does so destroys himself.

33 Blows and disgrace are his lot,
and his shame will never be wiped away;

34 for jealousy arouses a husband's fury,
and he will show no mercy when he takes revenge.

35 He will not accept any compensation;
he will refuse the bribe, however great it is.

Ogaga4Luv:

As a Satanist I get told “You are going to Hell” quite often, whether it be from a person I know or in an anonymous email through yahoo or the NL Forum. I get quite offended by this which many might consider odd seeing as I believe that “Hell” doesn’t exist. My reasoning for my offense is quite simple though, and I suspect many satanist feel the same way about things like this.

If we go by most religious beliefs, Hell is a place where sinners are sent if they do not repent. A lot of religions believe that a murderer can get into Heaven if they repent their sins before they die, or sacrifice themselves to save another. In short, there are quite a few “get out clauses” that one can consider. My “crime” though, may be murder,  is  rape or thieving e.t.c. A Satanist crimes are Stupidity, Pretentiousness,Self-deceit,Lack of Perspective, So by this definition, I am offended that someone would believe that a murderer, rapist, or thief who has said they are sorry for their crimes would get into Heaven after accepting jesus christ, whilst a person who has done nothing but think would go to Hell.

Conversely, if we take the religious belief that Hell is a place that all sinners go to regardless of whether they repent or not, I am still offended. It seems that whilst a god may or may not have given us free will (depending on what you believe), we do have it. Therefore it seems ever so slightly unfair that a person should be sent to Hell for using a mental ability that doesn’t cause harm to anyone else. By this definition, I am offended that anyone (gods included) would consider murder an equal crime to using free will.
  As I have said, I do not believe Hell exists, but it can be assumed that anyone telling me I am “going to Hell” believes that it does. Therefore if they believe that I am going to Hell, they must also believe that I deserve it, since their beliefs are based on religion which claims to be the truth

hell is the destiny of every sinner who do not repent of their sins and accept Jesus Christ as Lord and saviour of their life and soul.  it is not debatable.  you may not believe it now one day you will know you believe  a lie.  ignorance is not an excuse as they sauy in law.

hell was not meant for you. it is not Gods desire you make there your permanent residence and you dont have to. so make sure you dont go there.

carpe diem:

Does anyone have any experience with getting a short stay visa from the french embassy in London?

My husband (a british citizen) and I (Nigerian with ILR) want to go on a short holiday to Monte Carlo. I've checked the website but I'm still a bit confused about whether or not I need a visa. It says as a spouse of an EEA national you don't need a visa but it also says your permit should have "spouse of an EEA national" stamped on it, which I don't. I've used the online system to book an appointment and[b] the earliest I could get was in August, a few days before we are scheduled to leave[/b]. I'd be very grateful if anyone with experience with this could answer a few questions

1. Do I need a visa?
2. Are the visa's granted the same day of the appointment?
3. Are travel insurance, hotel bookings and tickets mandatory? (for EU spouse)
4. Would a postal application sent now be better for a mid August departure?

Thanks

last minute.com get your hiusband to call and book an earlier appointment. most of the embassies are flexible

praise the LORD JESUS

Tudór:

There isn't really any practicability to the commandment "love your enemies"- basic human instinct is to stay away from danger including people who pose a threat to you- Everyone including christians adhere to this no matter how much they try to deny. . . . . . .

do you have any mental trouble oga?

this your signature is stupidity of the highest order

The Fool Says in His Heart : There is God. . .

what the bible say is [size=18pt]The Fool Says in His Heart : There is no God. . [/size].

you have admitted your foolishness. you are so condemned by your words

Nikky23:

i didnt necessarily believe, its just that, when we initially started speaking online, i wasnt interested but he kept pestering me for so so long, dats what i dont get. and y.

ok next time dont be so gulible. he probably is nigerian. and as for hunting that is what boys do even for girls they are not necesarilly interested in. sorry u got hurt next time dont believe him ok.

edogram.:

because u girls believe in liers/

if an honest guy tell u the truth he will end up been a losser

so u girls desearve liers.

ozuo. how can u justify telling lies?

Nikky23:

y are guys like dis? , i just came out 4rm bad r/ship then dis. y did he lie 2 me when we r getting 2 know ourselves and i actually began falling 4 him, dis happens, he has a girlfriend so iam back 2 square1 again?

why would you believe he was telling truth in the first place? start falling for yourself first and get to place a value on yourself before you let a jerk like him near you again

tpiah:

some women have up to 7.

I guess after the first few they dont feel anything.

but why not use contraception?

sadly it is cheaper in naija to abort than buy cintraception for say 3 months.

Fhemmmy:

That is how it is in a normal world.
But Nigeria is abnormal.

it is for a good purpose. they are mostly saving for such in case day or when the marriage dont work so they have something to fall on.

it is always good to have plan B

tpiah:

@ topic

hehehe. Found this somewhere.



   

e go better for nigeria o.

odiegu