personally no but you are permitted to do what u like in your wedding

is this not a crime in naija?

JeSoul:

I think its becos its getting really long with so many pages and that creates problems with loading/ freezing/replying/timing out etc . . . Long threads have been getting locked and restarted afresh.

By the way I just checked and its open. Just a minor mix-up?

tks my dear sister. i was beginning to wonder.
have a good day

[size=18pt]who is this insecure person removing my post? why am i not allowed to post things like this on NL? [/size]

[size=38pt]Single & Satisfied[/size]
Monday, 22 June 2009 16:46 Helen Stubblefield Trowbridge SpiritLed Woman - SpiritLed Woman

The world has said that you must have a mate in order to be complete, and if you don't, there must be something terribly wrong with you. There were times I believed that lie. I'll never forget the woman in church who said to me, "Helen, you'd better hurry up and get married, or you are just going to dry up like an old raisin, and nobody is going to want you."

Another woman said, "You better get married soon, the biological clock is ticking. Tick, tick, tick. You'd better get busy and find a man." For years those words would vex my soul.

We are often led to believe that if we are alone, we are half a person. That is a lie! You are a whole person, and you are already complete—in God! A husband will complement your life, but he will not complete you.

The word "single" means more than unmarried and separate. It also means unique, remarkable, extraordinary, whole, sincere and pure.

This Isn't What I Asked For

From the time I was a little girl, I desired to be married. I received prophecies as a teen-ager and assumed I would meet "Mr. Right" in college and marry after graduation. But that didn't happen.

Every year, I had slogans to keep my faith and hope alive:

In 75, I will survive

In 76, God will fix

A man from heaven in 77

God won't be late in 78

A mate divine in 79

A gift from the Son in 81

God will come through in 82

A blessing for me in 83

He is coming through the door in 1984

You can imagine the myriad of emotions I went through over a period of 20 years until I finally married in 1994. Sometimes I was believing and trusting. Other times, I was doubting but holding on to the promises of God. Depression tried to settle in, but I refused to let it consume me.

At one time or another we have all blamed our appearance for our lack of a mate. You also may have thought it was your upbringing, your lack of education or your past.

Your blessing of a mate is not being withheld because you fell into sin or failed God in some way. It's not because you have been married and are now divorced.

Moreover, you are not out of the realm of blessing because you were pregnant and unmarried or decided to have an abortion. God hasn't given up on your future because you have made unwise choices in the past.

God has an ultimate plan for you. If you have a promise from Him for a mate, you will have one. His purpose for your life will be fulfilled, and His timing is perfect.

While You're Waiting

There are several things you can do while you're waiting for God's promise to come to pass.

1. Know who you are. God gave me a wonderful analogy one day as I was riding in a limousine. I was going to pick up a church guest, and a young man with whom I'd had a short dating relationship passed us in his Thunderbird.

As he drove by the limo he recognized me and waved. At that moment, the Lord said to me, "Helen, you wanted a Thunderbird, but I'm going to give you a limo."

Many women are satisfied as long as they get a man—any man. They don't care whether he is a Thunderbird, a Toyota or a Volkswagen Bug. Many wonderful women would even settle for a tow truck because they are so desperate. They feel they have passed the age where anyone would want them. But a tow truck picks up things that aren't working—things that need repair.

On the other hand, a limousine picks up royalty—a woman of distinction, who knows who she is and where she is going. Young women in the church settle for less than God's best when they choose a husband who will put them down, let them down and then take them down with him.

God wants to bless you with someone who will build you up. But first of all, God wants to make you whole. Then, when His perfect timing comes for your mate, you will attract another whole person. There is such power in a relationship that consists of two whole people!

2. Speak life to yourself. Practice the Lord's presence daily, and allow the beauty of your life with Him to be evident on the outside. Recognize the power God has given you, and then begin to speak to yourself. Tell yourself the truth about who you are in God.

More than self-esteem, have "God-esteem." Get God's Word inside you. Develop a personal, more intimate relationship with Jesus. Worship Him and praise Him continually (see Ps. 34:1).

In the natural realm, do everything you can to improve on what God has already given you. Get a new hairstyle, shed a few pounds, treat yourself to a makeover. Read, enlarge your learning capacity. Know what is going on in the world around you.

Most men want more than just a pretty package. They want to be able to open the package and find the goodness of heaven on the inside. They want someone with whom they can laugh and enjoy life. As you pray, God will show you what to do both naturally and spiritually.

3. Purify your heart. In your journey toward wholeness, you must allow the "dealings" of God to bring order and discipline to every aspect of your life. There are several attitudes which, if left unchecked, will keep you from receiving God's best.

* Compromise. Some single women in the church, because they are unable to wait for God's timing, completely discard the tenets of holiness and become involved in immorality.

You must ask God to deal with any areas of compromise in your life. And you must learn to say no to fleshly habits, hobbies and attitudes that are not pleasing to the Lord.

* Blaming others. Many of us attribute our present position in life to the way we were treated in the past by other people. But what is really important is not what happened to us but how we deal with it.

You are not responsible for what other people do to you, but you are responsible for your reactions to what they do. If a "hypocrite" is standing between you and God, he is closer to God than you are!

Don't let what someone did to you years ago keep you from a fulfilling future. Make a decision—today—to forgive those who have wounded you.

* Jealousy. At one time during my single life, God confronted me about the jealousy and bitterness in my heart toward married women. I would look at them holding their husband's hands and get mad. I would think, I'm just as cute as they are, just as intelligent and just as nice. So why do they have someone when I don't?

God told me I wouldn't receive my blessing until I was delivered from the spirit of jealousy. He also reminded me that His timing is perfect and that I needed to trust Him.

I repented and began sowing into the lives of married women. I started giving their husbands money when I would hear they were having an anniversary. You see, I was planting seeds for my anniversary. In the process, I was set free.

* Apathy. As a pastor, I saw many women, especially older single women, who had lost faith and found themselves with a spirit of hopelessness. They no longer believed that God cared about their personal lives.

This type of attitude literally ties God's hands. You have to believe in spite of your present circumstances that He will come through for you.

* Self-pity. You have to fight against the spirit of self-pity that tries to attach itself to you. Your own words will keep you in prison. But you are not the only one who is lonely and going through difficult times. God showed me how to fight this spirit while helping other single women.

Several years before I married, I started inviting five or six single women to my home for dinner on Valentine's Day. One was a single parent who brought her daughter, another was separated from her abusive husband. Others were either divorced, widowed or never married.

I made our time together very special. Each of the women received a Valentine card from Jesus, telling her how much He loved her and encouraging her. I chose a special gift for each lady, and I cooked them all a wonderful meal with love.

It became an evening of joy. I was able to rise above my own pain and minister to sisters who were also hurting. We laughed together and played games. We didn't feel sorry for ourselves, because we were learning to make Jesus the lover of our souls.

Change Your Outlook

Many people felt sorry for me after my 40th birthday. I remember standing up in church and saying, "Don't feel sorry for me. I have a promise from God that I am getting married.

"I may be old, but you will see me come down this aisle and get married." I wanted to see the fulfillment of the Scripture that says, "Blessed is she who has believed that what the Lord has said to her will be accomplished" (Luke 1:45, NIV).

I learned to love my life as a single woman. You see, if you don't love your life now, you won't love it after you get married. Marriage does not fix everything in your life.

In fact, it can add pressures you didn't know as a single woman. So learn to enjoy your singleness. Serve God with all your heart, mind and soul. Get involved in the things that will advance His kingdom.

Not every single woman will marry. But if you have a promise from God for marriage, wait for His perfect timing. Don't go out and try to find a man; let him find you.

In the meantime, and for all time, make Jesus the lover of your soul. He knows every heartache and every tear. He understands you when you are unable to verbalize what you are thinking and feeling. He is faithful. Jesus is your ultimate mate, and you are His beloved!

Helen Stubblefield Trowbridge and her husband, Tim, founded Trowbridge Ministries International. She is an evangelist, musician and author of Can You Wait One More Hour?

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Comments

#4 John Ruffle 2009-06-24 20:50 True Christians are indeed members of his Body, and we are members of the "Bride of Christ". The single woman demonstrates this in a unique and fragrant way, in that she is "married to Christ". The challenge of singleness is to overcome lonliness, which can cripple the free response to Christ and hinders our works of service. A time of singleness is also an opportunity to explore Christian community, misson and vocation. It is indeed costly and not without pain. Yet, God indeed has a plan for every life, single or married, and the single person is uniquely blessed and equipped by God. Allow Christ to really become first in every one of life's areas, but equally, make sure that in your piety, you don't become unapproachable, where men can't reach you. Don't be held by past hurts - seek healing. Be a disciple - serve. Overcome lonliness through holiness. Abandon your hopes and dreams to Christ. Enter a deeper spirituality and love God with passion. Quote


#3 glorycloud 2009-06-24 20:05 Do not assume that God ever wants you to marry! If you do assume this, then you will begin to add to your assumption the age at which he wants you to be married, your status in life, the geographical place, and your support status to your husband's occupation and pursuits rather than to your own. Practically no one out there is like Dave Meyer, Joyce Meyer's husand although some do exist. What may be at stake is your ministry, your destiny on this earth! Surely, you can think of what would have happened to the world had Billy Graham not followed God's call in his life. Do not hesitate to apply this thinking to yourself! If no male has appreciation for what God can do through you, be assured God has full appreciation what he can do through you. If you want it God's call and marriage, you may have to wait until you put God first. It's not good for man to be alone…that's in general. Paul was alone. Many are alone. Alone is not loneliness. Quote


#2 angela serritella 2009-06-24 10:34 I THOUGHT YOU'D BE ABLE TO GLEAN FROM THIS ARTICLE. LOVE, MOMMY Quote


#1 Tom Winfield 2009-06-24 09:31 I liked this article until she got to the what-to-do section, based on knowing God has promised you a mate. Suppose you aren't sure that He has promised that to you? I counseled Christians for years. Something I used to tell single women and men who were obsessed with finding a mate was this—"There is something a lot worse than living alone and being lonely at times—and that is ending up in a bad marriage headed for divorce." I told them to live for the Lord, and with the Lord. His Spirit will impress us with whether to hope for His help in getting a mate. Now marriage is the normal, biblical state. So if we adhere to Matthew 6:33—Seek Him first, for then He will add those things that we need—we will be on solid ground. Our Father knows what we have need of before we ask… And He knows who pays attention to Him, and who doesn't.

SeanT21:

It is a wonder that most of these men here wants their wife to be a housewife. I have my reasons why but let me not say!!

copy and paste how many men want their wife to be housewife.

Abbygyal:

seconded

thirded. though i dont know her with those silly photos of her who does she think she is? i no blame her na people wey bring camera enter nigeria.

2

[size=28pt] Nairaland Christian E-Fellowship locked [/size]

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-159075.1216.html#msg4088547

why is this thread locked and who locked it?

who are these nazis patroling NL for goodness sake. 

seun, what is going on here now?  is this enough to lock a christian thread for?  nawa for your agents abi na moderators.

Single & Satisfied
Monday, 22 June 2009 16:46 Helen Stubblefield Trowbridge SpiritLed Woman - SpiritLed Woman

The world has said that you must have a mate in order to be complete, and if you don't, there must be something terribly wrong with you. There were times I believed that lie. I'll never forget the woman in church who said to me, "Helen, you'd better hurry up and get married, or you are just going to dry up like an old raisin, and nobody is going to want you."

Another woman said, "You better get married soon, the biological clock is ticking. Tick, tick, tick. You'd better get busy and find a man." For years those words would vex my soul.

We are often led to believe that if we are alone, we are half a person. That is a lie! You are a whole person, and you are already complete—in God! A husband will complement your life, but he will not complete you.

The word "single" means more than unmarried and separate. It also means unique, remarkable, extraordinary, whole, sincere and pure.

This Isn't What I Asked For

From the time I was a little girl, I desired to be married. I received prophecies as a teen-ager and assumed I would meet "Mr. Right" in college and marry after graduation. But that didn't happen.

Every year, I had slogans to keep my faith and hope alive:

In 75, I will survive

In 76, God will fix

A man from heaven in 77

God won't be late in 78

A mate divine in 79

A gift from the Son in 81

God will come through in 82

A blessing for me in 83

He is coming through the door in 1984

You can imagine the myriad of emotions I went through over a period of 20 years until I finally married in 1994. Sometimes I was believing and trusting. Other times, I was doubting but holding on to the promises of God. Depression tried to settle in, but I refused to let it consume me.

At one time or another we have all blamed our appearance for our lack of a mate. You also may have thought it was your upbringing, your lack of education or your past.

Your blessing of a mate is not being withheld because you fell into sin or failed God in some way. It's not because you have been married and are now divorced.

Moreover, you are not out of the realm of blessing because you were pregnant and unmarried or decided to have an abortion. God hasn't given up on your future because you have made unwise choices in the past.

God has an ultimate plan for you. If you have a promise from Him for a mate, you will have one. His purpose for your life will be fulfilled, and His timing is perfect.

While You're Waiting

There are several things you can do while you're waiting for God's promise to come to pass.

1. Know who you are. God gave me a wonderful analogy one day as I was riding in a limousine. I was going to pick up a church guest, and a young man with whom I'd had a short dating relationship passed us in his Thunderbird.

As he drove by the limo he recognized me and waved. At that moment, the Lord said to me, "Helen, you wanted a Thunderbird, but I'm going to give you a limo."

Many women are satisfied as long as they get a man—any man. They don't care whether he is a Thunderbird, a Toyota or a Volkswagen Bug. Many wonderful women would even settle for a tow truck because they are so desperate. They feel they have passed the age where anyone would want them. But a tow truck picks up things that aren't working—things that need repair.

On the other hand, a limousine picks up royalty—a woman of distinction, who knows who she is and where she is going. Young women in the church settle for less than God's best when they choose a husband who will put them down, let them down and then take them down with him.

God wants to bless you with someone who will build you up. But first of all, God wants to make you whole. Then, when His perfect timing comes for your mate, you will attract another whole person. There is such power in a relationship that consists of two whole people!

2. Speak life to yourself. Practice the Lord's presence daily, and allow the beauty of your life with Him to be evident on the outside. Recognize the power God has given you, and then begin to speak to yourself. Tell yourself the truth about who you are in God.

More than self-esteem, have "God-esteem." Get God's Word inside you. Develop a personal, more intimate relationship with Jesus. Worship Him and praise Him continually (see Ps. 34:1).

In the natural realm, do everything you can to improve on what God has already given you. Get a new hairstyle, shed a few pounds, treat yourself to a makeover. Read, enlarge your learning capacity. Know what is going on in the world around you.

Most men want more than just a pretty package. They want to be able to open the package and find the goodness of heaven on the inside. They want someone with whom they can laugh and enjoy life. As you pray, God will show you what to do both naturally and spiritually.

3. Purify your heart. In your journey toward wholeness, you must allow the "dealings" of God to bring order and discipline to every aspect of your life. There are several attitudes which, if left unchecked, will keep you from receiving God's best.

* Compromise. Some single women in the church, because they are unable to wait for God's timing, completely discard the tenets of holiness and become involved in immorality.

You must ask God to deal with any areas of compromise in your life. And you must learn to say no to fleshly habits, hobbies and attitudes that are not pleasing to the Lord.

* Blaming others. Many of us attribute our present position in life to the way we were treated in the past by other people. But what is really important is not what happened to us but how we deal with it.

You are not responsible for what other people do to you, but you are responsible for your reactions to what they do. If a "hypocrite" is standing between you and God, he is closer to God than you are!

Don't let what someone did to you years ago keep you from a fulfilling future. Make a decision—today—to forgive those who have wounded you.

* Jealousy. At one time during my single life, God confronted me about the jealousy and bitterness in my heart toward married women. I would look at them holding their husband's hands and get mad. I would think, I'm just as cute as they are, just as intelligent and just as nice. So why do they have someone when I don't?

God told me I wouldn't receive my blessing until I was delivered from the spirit of jealousy. He also reminded me that His timing is perfect and that I needed to trust Him.

I repented and began sowing into the lives of married women. I started giving their husbands money when I would hear they were having an anniversary. You see, I was planting seeds for my anniversary. In the process, I was set free.

* Apathy. As a pastor, I saw many women, especially older single women, who had lost faith and found themselves with a spirit of hopelessness. They no longer believed that God cared about their personal lives.

This type of attitude literally ties God's hands. You have to believe in spite of your present circumstances that He will come through for you.

* Self-pity. You have to fight against the spirit of self-pity that tries to attach itself to you. Your own words will keep you in prison. But you are not the only one who is lonely and going through difficult times. God showed me how to fight this spirit while helping other single women.

Several years before I married, I started inviting five or six single women to my home for dinner on Valentine's Day. One was a single parent who brought her daughter, another was separated from her abusive husband. Others were either divorced, widowed or never married.

I made our time together very special. Each of the women received a Valentine card from Jesus, telling her how much He loved her and encouraging her. I chose a special gift for each lady, and I cooked them all a wonderful meal with love.

It became an evening of joy. I was able to rise above my own pain and minister to sisters who were also hurting. We laughed together and played games. We didn't feel sorry for ourselves, because we were learning to make Jesus the lover of our souls.

Change Your Outlook

Many people felt sorry for me after my 40th birthday. I remember standing up in church and saying, "Don't feel sorry for me. I have a promise from God that I am getting married.

"I may be old, but you will see me come down this aisle and get married." I wanted to see the fulfillment of the Scripture that says, "Blessed is she who has believed that what the Lord has said to her will be accomplished" (Luke 1:45, NIV).

I learned to love my life as a single woman. You see, if you don't love your life now, you won't love it after you get married. Marriage does not fix everything in your life.

In fact, it can add pressures you didn't know as a single woman. So learn to enjoy your singleness. Serve God with all your heart, mind and soul. Get involved in the things that will advance His kingdom.

Not every single woman will marry. But if you have a promise from God for marriage, wait for His perfect timing. Don't go out and try to find a man; let him find you.

In the meantime, and for all time, make Jesus the lover of your soul. He knows every heartache and every tear. He understands you when you are unable to verbalize what you are thinking and feeling. He is faithful. Jesus is your ultimate mate, and you are His beloved!

Helen Stubblefield Trowbridge and her husband, Tim, founded Trowbridge Ministries International. She is an evangelist, musician and author of Can You Wait One More Hour?

Subscribe to Charisma magazine.
Sign up for our free eNewsletters
�
Add this page to your favorite Social Bookmarking websites
Digg! Reddit! Del.icio.us! Google! Live! Facebook! StumbleUpon! Yahoo! Joomla Portal
Comments

#4 John Ruffle 2009-06-24 20:50 True Christians are indeed members of his Body, and we are members of the "Bride of Christ". The single woman demonstrates this in a unique and fragrant way, in that she is "married to Christ". The challenge of singleness is to overcome lonliness, which can cripple the free response to Christ and hinders our works of service. A time of singleness is also an opportunity to explore Christian community, misson and vocation. It is indeed costly and not without pain. Yet, God indeed has a plan for every life, single or married, and the single person is uniquely blessed and equipped by God. Allow Christ to really become first in every one of life's areas, but equally, make sure that in your piety, you don't become unapproachable, where men can't reach you. Don't be held by past hurts - seek healing. Be a disciple - serve. Overcome lonliness through holiness. Abandon your hopes and dreams to Christ. Enter a deeper spirituality and love God with passion. Quote


#3 glorycloud 2009-06-24 20:05 Do not assume that God ever wants you to marry! If you do assume this, then you will begin to add to your assumption the age at which he wants you to be married, your status in life, the geographical place, and your support status to your husband's occupation and pursuits rather than to your own. Practically no one out there is like Dave Meyer, Joyce Meyer's husand although some do exist. What may be at stake is your ministry, your destiny on this earth! Surely, you can think of what would have happened to the world had Billy Graham not followed God's call in his life. Do not hesitate to apply this thinking to yourself! If no male has appreciation for what God can do through you, be assured God has full appreciation what he can do through you. If you want it God's call and marriage, you may have to wait until you put God first. It's not good for man to be alone…that's in general. Paul was alone. Many are alone. Alone is not loneliness. Quote


#2 angela serritella 2009-06-24 10:34 I THOUGHT YOU'D BE ABLE TO GLEAN FROM THIS ARTICLE. LOVE, MOMMY Quote


#1 Tom Winfield 2009-06-24 09:31 I liked this article until she got to the what-to-do section, based on knowing God has promised you a mate. Suppose you aren't sure that He has promised that to you? I counseled Christians for years. Something I used to tell single women and men who were obsessed with finding a mate was this—"There is something a lot worse than living alone and being lonely at times—and that is ending up in a bad marriage headed for divorce." I told them to live for the Lord, and with the Lord. His Spirit will impress us with whether to hope for His help in getting a mate. Now marriage is the normal, biblical state. So if we adhere to Matthew 6:33—Seek Him first, for then He will add those things that we need—we will be on solid ground. Our Father knows what we have need of before we ask… And He knows who pays attention to Him, and who doesn't.
Reply

[size=28pt]"Your Change is Upon YOU!"[/size]
__________________________________________________________________________________________________

Circumstances do not possess enough power to "simply appear" on their
own. They are made. They are created. YOU DO possess the power to create
those issues, circumstances, and situations, that you will thrive in
"and not perish from!"

Circumstances are simply the "offspring of decision!" And you do
possess the power to give birth to excellent children!

God has empowered you to create LIFE for your life. Do not use your
ability to create "death for your life!"

Define the Atmosphere that is necessary for your inner kingdom. When you
are done, CREATE IT!

Peace,

============================================
"You Have the Right to Discover the Treasure!"

Dr.Undrai Fizer,Ph.D
The Kairos Letters

www.fizer.org
www.kairoslife.com

third or 4th thread on uncle reuben wahala?

JustGood:

I never vex bro.

I just dont like Nigerian becoming apologists for anyone.

ok if you say so. if u need some medications dont forget china town do all sorts ok.

sistawoman:

I pick neither.

Why do I have to pick the best of the worst.

can any good come out of people like these? worst of the worst i say.

not my portion as they say in naija.

obxddon, no worry u be angel she be devil NL people na ekwuensu too.  hy did you bother  bringing this matter here? the woman na only 33 for goodness sake. your mate dey marry people 10yrs their senior.

she is mot your portion.  say amen

obxddon:

@chair cover, thank you so much for your words,

I had that feeling that it would happen but I was trying to avoid it and also not to hurt her,

I have been thinking of how to do this for some time now, as I have never done it before and also I don't want to hurt her feelings at all.

  But thanks for the info I really appreciate it.


@frank, if you don't have anything meaningful and sensible to say(because you obviously cant help) would you please stop typing on this thread and instead look for threads being posted by pessimists like you,

  u didnt answer th simple question did u?

.[size=18pt] . . . I do hope you haven't shagged her[/size]. In future at 30, you should by now know when a woman is developing a crush on you and to politely turn away. There is no advantage of keeping a trail of female enemies behind you.

[size=28pt] Single & Satisfied[/size]
Monday, 22 June 2009 16:46 Helen Stubblefield Trowbridge SpiritLed Woman - SpiritLed Woman

The world has said that you must have a mate in order to be complete, and if you don't, there must be something terribly wrong with you. There were times I believed that lie. I'll never forget the woman in church who said to me, "Helen, you'd better hurry up and get married, or you are just going to dry up like an old raisin, and nobody is going to want you."

Another woman said, "You better get married soon, the biological clock is ticking. Tick, tick, tick. You'd better get busy and find a man." For years those words would vex my soul.

We are often led to believe that if we are alone, we are half a person. That is a lie! You are a whole person, and you are already complete—in God! A husband will complement your life, but he will not complete you.

The word "single" means more than unmarried and separate. It also means unique, remarkable, extraordinary, whole, sincere and pure.

This Isn't What I Asked For

From the time I was a little girl, I desired to be married. I received prophecies as a teen-ager and assumed I would meet "Mr. Right" in college and marry after graduation. But that didn't happen.

Every year, I had slogans to keep my faith and hope alive:

In 75, I will survive

In 76, God will fix

A man from heaven in 77

God won't be late in 78

A mate divine in 79

A gift from the Son in 81

God will come through in 82

A blessing for me in 83

He is coming through the door in 1984

You can imagine the myriad of emotions I went through over a period of 20 years until I finally married in 1994. Sometimes I was believing and trusting. Other times, I was doubting but holding on to the promises of God. Depression tried to settle in, but I refused to let it consume me.

At one time or another we have all blamed our appearance for our lack of a mate. You also may have thought it was your upbringing, your lack of education or your past.

Your blessing of a mate is not being withheld because you fell into sin or failed God in some way. It's not because you have been married and are now divorced.

Moreover, you are not out of the realm of blessing because you were pregnant and unmarried or decided to have an abortion. God hasn't given up on your future because you have made unwise choices in the past.

God has an ultimate plan for you. If you have a promise from Him for a mate, you will have one. His purpose for your life will be fulfilled, and His timing is perfect.

While You're Waiting

There are several things you can do while you're waiting for God's promise to come to pass.

1. Know who you are. God gave me a wonderful analogy one day as I was riding in a limousine. I was going to pick up a church guest, and a young man with whom I'd had a short dating relationship passed us in his Thunderbird.

As he drove by the limo he recognized me and waved. At that moment, the Lord said to me, "Helen, you wanted a Thunderbird, but I'm going to give you a limo."

Many women are satisfied as long as they get a man—any man. They don't care whether he is a Thunderbird, a Toyota or a Volkswagen Bug. Many wonderful women would even settle for a tow truck because they are so desperate. They feel they have passed the age where anyone would want them. But a tow truck picks up things that aren't working—things that need repair.

On the other hand, a limousine picks up royalty—a woman of distinction, who knows who she is and where she is going. Young women in the church settle for less than God's best when they choose a husband who will put them down, let them down and then take them down with him.

God wants to bless you with someone who will build you up. But first of all, God wants to make you whole. Then, when His perfect timing comes for your mate, you will attract another whole person. There is such power in a relationship that consists of two whole people!

2. Speak life to yourself. Practice the Lord's presence daily, and allow the beauty of your life with Him to be evident on the outside. Recognize the power God has given you, and then begin to speak to yourself. Tell yourself the truth about who you are in God.

More than self-esteem, have "God-esteem." Get God's Word inside you. Develop a personal, more intimate relationship with Jesus. Worship Him and praise Him continually (see Ps. 34:1).

In the natural realm, do everything you can to improve on what God has already given you. Get a new hairstyle, shed a few pounds, treat yourself to a makeover. Read, enlarge your learning capacity. Know what is going on in the world around you.

Most men want more than just a pretty package. They want to be able to open the package and find the goodness of heaven on the inside. They want someone with whom they can laugh and enjoy life. As you pray, God will show you what to do both naturally and spiritually.

3. Purify your heart. In your journey toward wholeness, you must allow the "dealings" of God to bring order and discipline to every aspect of your life. There are several attitudes which, if left unchecked, will keep you from receiving God's best.

* Compromise. Some single women in the church, because they are unable to wait for God's timing, completely discard the tenets of holiness and become involved in immorality.

You must ask God to deal with any areas of compromise in your life. And you must learn to say no to fleshly habits, hobbies and attitudes that are not pleasing to the Lord.

* Blaming others. Many of us attribute our present position in life to the way we were treated in the past by other people. But what is really important is not what happened to us but how we deal with it.

You are not responsible for what other people do to you, but you are responsible for your reactions to what they do. If a "hypocrite" is standing between you and God, he is closer to God than you are!

Don't let what someone did to you years ago keep you from a fulfilling future. Make a decision—today—to forgive those who have wounded you.

* Jealousy. At one time during my single life, God confronted me about the jealousy and bitterness in my heart toward married women. I would look at them holding their husband's hands and get mad. I would think, I'm just as cute as they are, just as intelligent and just as nice. So why do they have someone when I don't?

God told me I wouldn't receive my blessing until I was delivered from the spirit of jealousy. He also reminded me that His timing is perfect and that I needed to trust Him.

I repented and began sowing into the lives of married women. I started giving their husbands money when I would hear they were having an anniversary. You see, I was planting seeds for my anniversary. In the process, I was set free.

* Apathy. As a pastor, I saw many women, especially older single women, who had lost faith and found themselves with a spirit of hopelessness. They no longer believed that God cared about their personal lives.

This type of attitude literally ties God's hands. You have to believe in spite of your present circumstances that He will come through for you.

* Self-pity. You have to fight against the spirit of self-pity that tries to attach itself to you. Your own words will keep you in prison. But you are not the only one who is lonely and going through difficult times. God showed me how to fight this spirit while helping other single women.

Several years before I married, I started inviting five or six single women to my home for dinner on Valentine's Day. One was a single parent who brought her daughter, another was separated from her abusive husband. Others were either divorced, widowed or never married.

I made our time together very special. Each of the women received a Valentine card from Jesus, telling her how much He loved her and encouraging her. I chose a special gift for each lady, and I cooked them all a wonderful meal with love.

It became an evening of joy. I was able to rise above my own pain and minister to sisters who were also hurting. We laughed together and played games. We didn't feel sorry for ourselves, because we were learning to make Jesus the lover of our souls.

Change Your Outlook

Many people felt sorry for me after my 40th birthday. I remember standing up in church and saying, "Don't feel sorry for me. I have a promise from God that I am getting married.

"I may be old, but you will see me come down this aisle and get married." I wanted to see the fulfillment of the Scripture that says, "Blessed is she who has believed that what the Lord has said to her will be accomplished" (Luke 1:45, NIV).

I learned to love my life as a single woman. You see, if you don't love your life now, you won't love it after you get married. Marriage does not fix everything in your life.

In fact, it can add pressures you didn't know as a single woman. So learn to enjoy your singleness. Serve God with all your heart, mind and soul. Get involved in the things that will advance His kingdom.

Not every single woman will marry. But if you have a promise from God for marriage, wait for His perfect timing. Don't go out and try to find a man; let him find you.

In the meantime, and for all time, make Jesus the lover of your soul. He knows every heartache and every tear. He understands you when you are unable to verbalize what you are thinking and feeling. He is faithful. Jesus is your ultimate mate, and you are His beloved!

Helen Stubblefield Trowbridge and her husband, Tim, founded Trowbridge Ministries International. She is an evangelist, musician and author of Can You Wait One More Hour?

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Comments

#4 John Ruffle 2009-06-24 20:50 True Christians are indeed members of his Body, and we are members of the "Bride of Christ". The single woman demonstrates this in a unique and fragrant way, in that she is "married to Christ". The challenge of singleness is to overcome lonliness, which can cripple the free response to Christ and hinders our works of service. A time of singleness is also an opportunity to explore Christian community, misson and vocation. It is indeed costly and not without pain. Yet, God indeed has a plan for every life, single or married, and the single person is uniquely blessed and equipped by God. Allow Christ to really become first in every one of life's areas, but equally, make sure that in your piety, you don't become unapproachable, where men can't reach you. Don't be held by past hurts - seek healing. Be a disciple - serve. Overcome lonliness through holiness. Abandon your hopes and dreams to Christ. Enter a deeper spirituality and love God with passion. Quote


#3 glorycloud 2009-06-24 20:05 Do not assume that God ever wants you to marry! If you do assume this, then you will begin to add to your assumption the age at which he wants you to be married, your status in life, the geographical place, and your support status to your husband's occupation and pursuits rather than to your own. Practically no one out there is like Dave Meyer, Joyce Meyer's husand although some do exist. What may be at stake is your ministry, your destiny on this earth! Surely, you can think of what would have happened to the world had Billy Graham not followed God's call in his life. Do not hesitate to apply this thinking to yourself! If no male has appreciation for what God can do through you, be assured God has full appreciation what he can do through you. If you want it God's call and marriage, you may have to wait until you put God first. It's not good for man to be alone…that's in general. Paul was alone. Many are alone. Alone is not loneliness. Quote


#2 angela serritella 2009-06-24 10:34 I THOUGHT YOU'D BE ABLE TO GLEAN FROM THIS ARTICLE. LOVE, MOMMY Quote


#1 Tom Winfield 2009-06-24 09:31 I liked this article until she got to the what-to-do section, based on knowing God has promised you a mate. Suppose you aren't sure that He has promised that to you? I counseled Christians for years. Something I used to tell single women and men who were obsessed with finding a mate was this—"There is something a lot worse than living alone and being lonely at times—and that is ending up in a bad marriage headed for divorce." I told them to live for the Lord, and with the Lord. His Spirit will impress us with whether to hope for His help in getting a mate. Now marriage is the normal, biblical state. So if we adhere to Matthew 6:33—Seek Him first, for then He will add those things that we need—we will be on solid ground. Our Father knows what we have need of before we ask… And He knows who pays attention to Him, and who doesn't.

[size=28pt] Private Lessons With God[/size]
Tuesday, 23 June 2009 07:53 Katrina Spigner SpiritLed Woman - SpiritLed Woman

On a Sunday morning, several years ago, I walked into the sanctuary at my local church during the praise and worship portion of our service. As I made my way to the balcony, I noticed the worshipers all around me up on their feet leaping, shouting in acclamation, and clapping their hands in seemingly sincere celebration.

But as others stood around me in exuberant corporate participation, I took my seat.

Consumed with the frustration I had brought to church with me that day, I sat and observed while pondering the questions that ran rapidly through my mind. "God, why am I here? What is all the hoopla about? How long is all this going to take? How much of this is really necessary anyway?"

As my eyes filled with tears, I could not understand why during a time when I should have felt the most enthused, energetic, and demonstrative about my spiritual walk, I sat lethargically discouraged with a deep sense of dissatisfaction and hopelessly questioning my salvation and my purpose. I had been a Christian for years. I had worked and held leadership positions in ministry. And, up until this point in my life, I really believed that I had a strong relationship with the Lord.

However, now I felt more agitated, aggravated, and discombobulated than I had ever felt in my entire life, and I was wondering how I had gotten to this place. To make matters worse, I felt as though I was invisible, like nobody else could really see me. I also felt as if I was the only one who was going through (or who had ever gone through) this experience. Here I sat, a single mother of two, working two part-time jobs, going to school to earn my bachelor's degree in the evenings, and now back at home living with my mother.

My marriage had failed and my father had gone on to be with the Lord. I had been scrutinized and judged by others. And at this point, my whole soul had been shaken by the grief associated with the many, many losses I had encountered in my life. It seemed that everything in me hurt. Inhaling and exhaling no longer felt like a normal body function for me. Instead it had become an agonizing, laborious act of survival.

I never imagined that life could wound me to the extent that I could literally take it or leave it. But the vicissitudes of living had beaten up on my will to the degree that there seemed to be no recovery from the trauma. I felt as though Jesus himself had given Satan permission to sift me as wheat, but I was not sure if anyone was praying that my faith would not fail me.

Therefore, in the midst of this huge congregation of people, I felt more alone than I had ever felt before, and I was angry. As a matter of fact, at that very moment, I felt as though I could have stood up in the middle of the service, walked down to the front of the sanctuary, asked the worship leader to hand me the microphone, and screamed at the top of my lungs, "Shut up! Everybody just shut up and sit down right now."

But instead, in that service, in the midst of my personal despair, in a last act of desperation, I asked God to help me. And, during my deepest lamentation, I heard this message in my spirit. "Now that I finally have your attention, let me teach you something." At that very moment, I realized God had orchestrated that place of emptiness and despondency because He had something He wanted me to learn. My private inner turmoil was directly related to the private lessons He desired to teach me.

This Is for You: Consider the definition of a "private lesson." It is "A course of instruction that is unique to the student that he or she can only learn through study or experience, and takes place separate from the company or observation of others." A description of a private lesson for a student of dance stated, "Taking dance lessons is a good way to learn choreography of a form, but individualized instruction is necessary if a student wishes to advance to higher levels. A private session with a perceptive teacher is one of the best ways to accelerate your personal progress."

And so it is with God. When He knows our sincere desire to go to next level, He does not leave us as we are. As our perceptive teacher, He moves us out of the status quo and He leads us into wilderness experiences that are unique to us, so He can teach us lessons that will accelerate our personal progress.

Why? The reasons are simple. He wants us to demonstrate what He has accomplished in us as a result of His individualized instruction in our lives. He wants our lives to manifest the excellence that is only obtained through one-on-one sessions.

In other words, it is extremely important to Him that we learn private lessons so that He can trust us in our public performance. Our response should simply be, "Where do I sign up?" God's Word to You: "And you shall remember that the Lord your God led you all the way these forty years in the wilderness, to humble you and test you, to know what was in your heart, whether you would keep his commandments or not" (Deuteronomy 8:2).

Today's Journal Discovery

1. In what way(s) do you believe God has tried to get your attention so He can teach you something?

2. How has your "public performance" been affected because of your avoidance of your personal private lessons? What adjustments do you need to make in an effort to use your lessons to the purpose for which they were given to you?

3. How will you use the lessons in your life to move you closer to living on purpose?

Katrina Spigner is a sought-after author, speaker, and life coach who consistently presents her message of purposeful living to organizations nationwide. A dedicated mother of two, Katrina and her family live in South Carolina. To contact Katrina, go to www.katrinaspigner.com

[size=28pt] Why We Must Embrace the Cross[/size]
Monday, 22 June 2009 16:42 Francois de Fenelon SpiritLed Woman - SpiritLed Woman

Do you wonder why God has to make it so hard on you? Why doesn't He make you good without making you miserable in the meantime? Of course He could, but He does not choose to do so.

He wants you to grow a little at a time and not burst into instant maturity. This is what He has decided, and you can only adore His wisdom—even when you don't understand it.

I am awed by what suffering can produce. You and I are nothing without the cross. I agonize and cry when the cross is working within me, but when it is over I look back in admiration for what God has accomplished.

Of course I am then ashamed that I bore it so poorly. I have learned so much from my foolish reactions!

You yourself must endure the painful process of change. There is much more at work here than your instant maturity. God wants to build a relationship with you that is based on faith and trust and not on glamorous miracles.

Father Knows Best

God uses the disappointments, disillusionments, and failures of your life to take your trust away from yourself and help you put your trust in Him. It is like being burned in a slow fire.

You would rather be burned up in a blaze of glory, wouldn't you? But how would this fast burn detach you from yourself? Thus God prepares events to detach you from yourself and from others.

God is your Father; do you think He would ever hurt you? He just cuts you off from things you love in the wrong way. You cry like a baby when God removes something or someone from your life, but you would cry a lot more if you saw the eternal harm such wrong attachments cause you.

You do not see with the eyes of eternity. God knows everything. Nothing happens without His consent.

You are upset by small losses but do not see eternal gains! Don't dwell on your suffering. Your oversensitivity makes your trials worse. Abandon yourself to God.

Everything in you that is not already a part of the established kingdom of God needs the cross. When you accept the cross in love, His kingdom begins to come to life within you. You must bear the cross and be satisfied with what pleases God.

You have need of the cross! The faithful Giver of every good gift gives the cross to you with His own hand. I pray you will come to see how blessed it is to be corrected for your own good.

My God, help us to see Jesus as our model in all suffering. You nailed Him to the cross for us. You made Him a man of sorrows to teach us how useful sorrow is. Give us a heart to turn our backs on ourselves and trust only in You.

Francois de Fenelon, better known simply as "Fenelon," became the Archbishop of Cambrai, France, in the late 1600s. Because of his support of Jeanne Guyon, whom King Louis XIV had condemned, he was banished to his own diocese. However, his correspondence on the subject of a deeper walk with Christ still influences us today. Adapted from The Seeking Heart by Fenelon, copyright 1992. Published by The SeedSowers. Used by permission. http://www.charismamag.com/index.php/newsletters/spiritled-woman-e-magazine/22379-timeless-treasures-why-we-must-embrace-the-cross

Okra Soup:

I'll be in Nigeria within two weeks and was wondering what do people do for fun. I don't mean kids, what do adults (people in their early to mid 30s and up) do for fun in Lagos? I haven't been in Nigeria since 1998 and before that 1988 so it's been a while. I don't really know anyone besides my mum so I'd like to meet some people to hang out with when my mum's busy or I just want to get out. I'm interested in traditional, cultural entertainment as in I'm not looking to do anything that seems like a copy of what people in the u.s. consider fun. I've been watching NTA trying to get a feel for the country and have to admit I hate the music videos where the artists are trying to rap or get all jiggy r&b style. I guess I'm looking to learn more about traditionally Nigerian things to do. For example I plan on going to Agege market (is that still around?) buying ingredients so I can make black soap with my mum. That should give you an idea of the kinds of things I'm looking to do. Once you've been out of Nigeria as long as I have, you start missing the most basic things. I wish to reconnect.
I will also be in Anambra some of the time so fun cultural activities I can get into there would be nice to know.
So people , Share, fill me in, let me know what's up. I'd appreciate it. Thanks ahead of time.

the naija you are dreaming of is gone. it is stressed / anxious naija u will meet. be very careful and try to hear what mama is telling you cos she knows the place more than u. most of all dont be as trusty as dem days plus dont give info about your movement to too many people. dont frequent same joint over and over.

enjoy as much as possiblle

tipsydude:

Ok now for frequent air travellers in Nigeria who are looking for better and cheaper deals as per good customer service and low air fares, I believe that the Aero "Fly More For Less" promo is mouth watering and kinda implies that anyone can fly for almost free but how many of us have taken time to go through the booking process online? For those of us who have, you'll get to discover lots of irregularities.

1 - Adults and kids(2yrs - 12yrs) pay the same fare. ask how? 3 Adlts and 1 child pay NGN60000 when you get NGN15000 available. 1 adult and 3 kids pay the same NGN60000 for a one way trip despite the fact that online you see ADT fare NGN15000 CHD fare NGN7427.

2- No Insurance. Now this is the most alarming. When you book online with AERO and you get the low fares ranging from NGN7000, NGN10000 and NGN15000, as you proceed with your booking, you get to the page were you have to select the type of Insurance Cover you need ranging from NGN1500 to NGN5000. Where you select an insurance type, you have to pay the fare you got plus the cost of insurance. Therefore, to fly at the low fare as advertised, you have to select no insurance cover. Now what does this imply? In the event of any mishap or disaster, the airline does not owe you or your family any insurance cos there is nothing to claim.

I wonder what FAAN, NCAA, IOSA and other bodies have to say about this when AERO takes to the air with nothing less than 35 passengers booked on their low fares without insurance policies. We aint praying for another air disaster but where it happens, who will the families hold responsible?

This is a serious one that our FG and all Aviation Governing bodies have to take a closer look at.

when u travel by road do u take insurance too?

i tot some of you guys here are up for men and women saving their money just in case it fails or one drops dead and the family drives you out?

there is nothing wrong in pre nup. it is a set of document stating rules of the relationship plus what and what you stand to forfeit or gain if and when you choose to violate the contract terms.  if you dont have any intention of doing wrong you all should be signing the doc with all pleasure becos it protects the woman more than any marriage certificate i know.

dont forget you get your own sets of counsellors and lawyers go through the documents before you sign so it is not like someone is forcing you to do something against your will.

Secretz:

Ha ha,

I had this convo with a friend recently too. lol
Personally, I don't initially agree with a pre-nup especially when you both come into the marriage with basically nothing. However, I think when people split, the amount of years they were married regardless of the reason for break up should play a role in who gets what and at what percentage. There is no way, I am marrying a man at 26, we both have equal amounts of qualifications and to high standards, but asset wise we have nothing. We build a home and career, he requests I stay at home for the sake of raising the children because he can afford to take care of us. We then die-vorce 30 years later and I leave with nothing because of some stupid pre-nup?

I agree some women are VERY VERY greedy and take the pizz, especially after only being married for 4 years or so compared to those who were married for over 15 years and a built a life and success with that person?

I only agree with pre-nups if someone is extremely rich and has been bitten once before. In circumstances like this, its not a matter of not wanting to trust a person, but not being 100% sure what the person is really after.  

30yrs marriages is less than 3% of marriages so you would be an endangered species with special provision.  the law has a way of calculating these things even in banana republics. so relax

pc guru:

Story story.
audience:story
once upon a time
audience:time time
This is the story of a document called prenup.Women never like him.Men felt he was thier saviour.One day prenup saved a man from a brutal women(Gold-digger).the whole men in the city didn't know how to repay prenup so they concluded he'll been invited to any wedding as a reminder of his good deed.Little was known that the a.K.a gold-digger sworn to get her revenge on prenup and all men directly or through her daughters(?).Anyway this is the story of how prenup came to stay.This is the end of my story.
nairaland audience:that story was kick ass.
Secretf:i think i'm in love with pc guru.
Pc guru:bye
scene fades to black.Grammy material

there are some matters above your pay grade.  you have no clue how these things work so relax.  

whitelexi:

I remember the case between Sir Paul McCartney and Heather Mills, i think it was last yr. . .  GOSH, that woman is a thief! and the poor man must've suffered so much in her hands judging from the way she treated him in court. . .  She even spilled water on his lawyer, calling her a bitch - right in front of the judge! And for what? simply cos she didnt get half of his estate.

This is a woman who was offered £50m to settle out of court, but she wanted half of his £800m worth after only a few yrs of marriage - how do u even start to explain that?

she was only lucky to get just below £30m because of their daughter.

this day and age if you have any sense at all and dont do a pre nup then i question your sanity especially if you have any form of sizable asset and investments that need to be protected.  please dont tell me the reliogion forbids it cos i have seen too many religious people abuse laws here.  religion doesnt forbid wisdom

Mowire:

THIS THREAD CAN NOWW BE CLOSED. Kunle don't come back complaining. I'm sure you will still find "unchristian" behaviour among members in this new church soon or later.

_{THERE WILL BE NOTHING AS A PERFECT CHURCH UNTIL THE COMING OF THE LORD}

wait until the pastor wears blue shirt and tie when saint kunle expects him to be in white shirt and tie

JustGood:

@JJYOU, everyone knows that drug taking is a huge problem. However, to concentrate so much efforts on attcking suppliers rather than cultivate good cultures which prevents people getting into the habit is nothing but despicable on the part of  Brits.

What proper attempts do you know that the British have done to try and prevent kids and teenagers egtting involved with drugs?

i dont know where u get your info but i will say you can blame the Uk govt for everything but you will be out of order to say they dont try prevent kids and teenagers getting involved with drugs.

electronic media awareness alone is more than £20m annually.  that is not taking into consideration the free bbc channels plus radios.

drug awareness and education eats into every council, NHS and educational authorities budget so you cant say they dont do their best. go to any library and see the amount of print work on drugs and come back here tell me u are wrong.

even if they were not doing anything it is no excuse for people to continue to push drugs

JustGood:

Thanks for that.

If you look at every programme that the government has embarked upon, none of them deters youngsters from drug taking. I dont really want to go into too much details but I have had the privilege of dealing with some of those youngsters and I can tell you that what works is not treatment but prevention. The government cannot do much to prevent young people from getting involved in drugs because of the laxity of societal norms. My opinion is that children are too independent - children should not be so excessively independent or given that sense of huge independence. Youngsters always want to experiment and you only need to experiment on many of these drugs and you're hooked.

Stricter values will do better than what we have at the moment - I know that there are some forces working behind the scenes to return this country to a country of better values but it will take w while to get there because we have gone so far down.

You will note that your points are all about treatments and the afters except for the legal one. I dont know any country where it is also not illegal to traffic in drugs; so what exactly is the British beef with other nations?

 no doubt thiis is a permisive society.  it is not the kids that have  problems but the adults who are supposed to make the rules and control but are tooo drugged or drunk ti set them.  the kidas are more victims of their situation tahn anything else.

what you  see is the result of the free sex, drug and rock and roll of the 60's - 80@s. you can see nigeria travelling that roue these past years.  no one is asking questions but when the casualties start mounting i wonder what will happen.   just watch the abati and co thread.
i have lived long enough in europe to remember the pushing of boundaries by the channel 4 of this word and the newspapers of the land. i remember one mary whitehouse - a British campaigner for what she perceived to be values of morality and decency  saying something like the society will pay a high price.  i remember too one maggie thatcher saying there was nothing like society.  society is picking up the pieces and bill in billios.

JustGood:

Perhaps you did not get my drift. The questions were meant to make you think about your statement. You have concluded that is is alright for the UK to do the same thing that you seem to want to condemn China for. So you need to ask yourself who determines the right way to do anything in this world? Why cant the Chinese government decide how it wants to rule its Nation? Why must the Chinese government do things exactly the same way that the UK and US governments are doing things?

Does it not also amount to encroachment to try and tell the Chinese government the way to govern its country?

na who upset my brother today? you just dey fight every where.

sfdaram:

one of the issues in this life that ever remain complex that is only God Almighty  that knows why , is the issue of men & women dating.i do agree & disagree with some replies here.

if you say young or single girl date married men,vice verser what of married men dating  married women & vice verser.

i tell u issue of dating has nothing to do with nigerians ladies,guys ,men & women alone. is an issue througout the whole world. only people involve can  tell the reason why they are doing it.

i disagree with points like upbring,poverty,no future ambition. dating issue happen in both poor & rich enviroment or society.

there are well to do single ladies (from wealthy home) in universities  that date married men for reason best known to them not money this time around. dat single lady dating her married boss is for what? young guy banker dating married woman  or those women selling clothes in GOTA in isale eko is for what? when a married woman date her driver is for what? when a married man date his house maid is for what?

i tell you if you move around  you will see why single lady date married men & some single guys too date married women.
the atrocity is commited both in low & high places. single tenant dating married tenant,single dating married in the office,[size=13pt]go to abuja & see datin even in the upper houses for positions & contracts.[/size]

some guys remain in abroad today if nt for dating that married woman who help them for papers or document.
so fellow lander, to me is a complex issue dat only d creator can say why?  even in the churches & mosques is the  same thing.

single dating married, married dating single, married dating married ,reason best known to those involve .

i believe we all need help.

are you on something dangerous or you stopped taking some med?.  so they should just continue becos even dogs are doing it?  pathetic. nigerians and excuses.  cos

[size=18pt]Diya, Adisa, Olarewaju, Anyanwu others granted amnesty, compensation[/size]
From AMOS DUNIA, Abuja
Thursday, June 25, 2009

President Yar'Adua
Photo: The Sun Publishing
More Stories on This Section

Twelve years after their conviction, former Chief of General Staff, Lt. General Oladipo Diya, and 44 other military officers, convicted in the General Sani Abacha coups of 1995 and 1997 are to finally get presidential pardon and amnesty today.

This followed the recommendation of the Presidential Advisory Committee on Prerogative of Mercy (PACPM), which was approved by President Umaru Musa Yar’Adua and to be considered for final reprieve today by the National Council of State meeting scheduled to hold in Abuja.

Others to be granted the presidential pardon and compensation include: Major Generals Abdulkareem K. Adisa (deceased) Tajudeen Olarewaju, Col. Lawan Gwadabe, 41 Other officers, four other ranks, a current serving Senator Chris Anyanwu, the late Dr. Beko Ransome-Kuti and a journalist, the late Bagauda Kalto, former special adviser to the Chief of General Staff, Professor Odekunle, an activist, Comrade Shehu Sani and two State Security Service operatives, namely, Anthony Awoloyi and Julius Badejo.

In a document, exclusively obtained by Daily Sun with serial number CS (2009)6 dated 23rd June 2009, copies of which have been given to state governors, former Heads of State, Senate president and speaker of the House of Representatives, President Yar’Adua has accepted to grant the former convicts presidential pardon in accordance with the provisions of 175 of the 1999 Constitution.

The document prepared to apprise the National Council of State of the intention of President Yar’Adua to grant the ex-convicts presidential pardon to eligible prison inmates, is categorized into four different groups for which the first set included 68 persons convicted by the Abacha administration for alleged participation in the 1995 and 1997 phantom coup d’état but most of whom are no longer in detention and were earlier granted clemency.

The presidential document further stated that those in the first category, even though were granted clemency, but not full pardon thus their property were still forfeited, while category two contained list of 87 persons who are 60 years and above serving various terms in prisons all over the country. Category three included 12 eligible serving prisoners convicted of federal offences.

The fourth category comprised 2 persons, namely the former Managing Director of Bank of the North (BoN), Alhaji Shettima Mohammed Bulama and Dr. Chiichii Ashwe, who were convicted for contravening financial laws but crave for the removal of the stigma attached to their names for purposes of re-integration into the society.

In the recommendation of the presidential pardon to the Council of State, following the advice of the Presidential Advisory Committee on Prerogative of Mercy (PACPM) for 2009, the debilitating ill-health likely to incapacitate or terminate in death of the inmates, as well as young persons of 16 years and below and all those that have spent 15 years and above on life sentence were part of the consideration for the presidential pardon.

The list of other military officers granted the presidential pardon include; Colonels G. A. Ajayi, O. Oloruntoba, R. S. B. Bello-Fadile, R. N. Emokpae, J. Isa, Olu Craig, E. I. Jando, D. Ndubueze and Y. Bako, while those in the Lt. Col. group include K. H. Bulus, S. E. Oyewole, M. A. Igwe, R. K. Obiki, C. P. Izeogu, O. L. Nyong, V. O. Bamgboye and S. B. Mepaiyeda.

Others are A. Lawal, M. A. Ajayi. G. P. Okiki, O. O. Akiode (deceased), Navy Cdr, D. A. Omessa, L. M. Fabiyi, Majors J. O. Edeh, E. Obalisa, N. U. Okoro, A. Umar, A. A. Akinyemi, O. O. Fadipe, B. Mohammed, Capt. A. A. Ogunsuyi, U.S.A. Suleiman, M. A. Ibrahim, Lt. Olowookere (Navy), Lt. D. K. Olowomoran, 2nd Lt. R. Emouhe, Sgts. M. Potiskum, and P. Usikpeko (deceased) as well as Cpl. Godspower Ogbinovia.

Affected journalists include Bagauda Kalto (deceased), Ben Charles Obi, Kunle Ajibade, George Mbah, and Niran Malaolu, amongst others.
All the former convicts in the Abacha coup of 1995 and 1997 are being granted presidential amnesty and compensation including those dead.



http://www.sunnewsonline.com/webpages/news/national/2009/june/25/national-25-06-2009-01.htm

[size=18pt]When Another Woman Is Involved[/size]
By Gladys Omoragbon

THE song writer, Mary Mckee in one of her albums, enjoined us to try a little kindness because that kindness that you show everyday will help someone along the way. Yes, that is true-but how applicable is this to the women folk towards their counterparts?


It is important (at least courtesy demands) that you give a warm welcome to somebody especially those you are meeting for the first time. In cognizance of this, one is expected to always wear a smile because you do not know who is being affected by that smile. I have discovered through survey and personal experience that most ladies do not have room for another lady. Of course, when it is the opposite sex, it is a different ball game entirely. Some ladies I discussed with concerning this topic said they would prefer to remain in whatever dilemma they find themselves than to solicit the help of a female counterpart. That might sound harsh and biased, but it is the truth. Some ladies are so hostile that you would be forced, to think or even believe they have some scores to settle with you. I visited a friend in the office recently. I met his absence but the receptionist or to call it by the glorified name (front office personnel) was so hostile as if we had quarreled previously. With all the hostility, I opted to wait up for my friend. While I was waiting, a guy breezed in to see the same person I came to see.



This hostile receptionist’s countenance changed immediately. She was all smiles. God!, I said to myself, why was she behaving to me as if I was her rival or worst enemy. Well, I might never get an answer to that question. Come to think of it, why the hostility towards another lady? Why the tight face when another lady is involved?


It is unfortunate to say that this unwholesome attitude abound everywhere. In schools, offices, even at home. If you are new to a place – either school, office etc, it will take a lot of time for other ladies there to get acquainted with you but for the guys, it is not so. We have heard so much stories about a female boss and their escapades. The men are accommodating and receptive.


What could be the possible reason for ladies’ hostility towards their counterparts. I feel this prejudice boils down to uncertainty. The ladies in question are not sure of themselves. They don’t trust themselves to stand up to another lady. They feel threatened by another lady around especially in a place where they have been the centre of attraction. Another lady coming in diverts attention from her. This uncertainty brings about complex otherwise referred to as “inferiority complex.” It makes you hate yourself and those around which leads to jealousy and hatred. So when you see another lady probably in your place of work, you feel very hostile towards her. More so, when you feel the person is seen to be better off than you. If only you know that you do not have a duplicate. You are unique in your own way. In the first place, it works out in having positive attitude towards others? Of course there is a great deal of joy and happiness in loving people because people are really quite wonderful if you take out time to know them. Prejudice is not good. No one who wants to be healthy should ever tolerate for one minute the pollution of prejudice. It will make you sick if you perisist in it deeply enough.


Now, this is not to say we are not to have differences of opinion. True, there will always be a clash of opinion, differences of attitudes, a struggle of one idea against the other to find the best.


Well, a positive mental attitude comes only through practice. So if you want to have a positive mental attitude towards your counterparts, you must practice it diligently.
http://www.nigerianobservernews.com/24062009/features/features1.html

wbb

LadyT:

Only after two years with Rachel you want to bring a child into the world a child you cannot even tell your mother about because she doesnt even know you are a clit muncher!

So the child who did not ask to be born will be a dirty little secret.  I hope your child can contact the donor I hate people both straight and gay who are giving birth to this whole new generation with no background or identity.

As far as I am concerned your sexuality was your choice.  Why cant you accept that you cant have children?

that is too much to ask the indulging brigade.

Lagosboy:

Kai this world is turning into something else. A sperm from a donor to a woman and another woman believes it is their child when she can also become preganant. No offence but me feel this something has to be wrong upstairs for having this thought  

o boy nawao. u see wetin these nigerian women don become.  na good people born this k leg generation so imagine when they begin to reproduce their kind.  anyway  see their secretary general ebumowa reply

ebumowa (f)  « #9 on: January 19, 2009, 04:40 AM »

@Sapphic:
You're lucky someone did it for you, most of my siblings know but my parents don't (I don't want to think about their reaction).

@Poster:
You're independent of your parents, go ahead and tell your mom, you have a life partner, a child on the way, you have so much going for you, its time to look foward. Wish you goodluck in whatever decision you make.

need i say more.

**osisi:

so many lesbiana's on nairaland
go ahead and tell her after booking her funeral at heaven's gate funeral home.
maybe you should send her a text before she arrives and tell her the size of your Love Machine too.

I feel creepy crawlies on my skin.

say it again.  they even have cribs.

farotika:

whao!!! Gud have mercy What is this World turning into

one big lesbian crib

outlaws:


During the early civilizations gays and lesbians were considered crazy people. They would be locked in chains. Some were thought to be possesed by evil spirits and they will also be locked in chains at the church and people will come to pray to cast out the demon.

Do I approve gay and lesbians or not? Well according to the hollybook, it clearly states that is immorality and the wedges of sin is death. I don't approve it and I don't discriminate against them. I think is a personal choice nomatter how your hormones react. I also think is a mental disorder that can be unlearned if the person wishes.

Some may disagree that is not a mental disorder but if you have taking psychology you will know that there are a lot of mental disorders. I have taken maybe over 6 different psychology classes in college and I still may take more. For example if you use nairaland too much that it becomes a problem meaning you don't get to do other things that you are suppose to do, or you drink that you are having problems at work or with your spouse, or you are addicted to drugs, porn, masturbation,sleeping around that you don't seem to stop, all these things are mental disorders. Phobias are also mental disorders.

So is life, you make the choices don't blame any one for it including your hormone reactions and you also face the consequencies of your choices.

it is the choice lifestyle of the media people so they have made it cool like they made HIV, drugs, rebelion, promiscuity and mucical anarchy cool

martho:

D poster need help,
she's not normal.

she would likely be a dad already