justwise:

hahaha, trust me ur secret is safe with me.

some will miss the malawian angle to the story.

justwise:

I know where u are coming from

bros, cant u keep a secret?

babybunch:

hmnmn i guess it would depend on individuals, its a matter of knowing what you want , for me i kept chatting and would always insist on webcam if possible, but like i said i guess it depends on individuals, i met some silly guys as in chatting online and one way or the other i was able to eliminate them one by one till i saw what i wanted and got to meet him physically in my home, today he is my husband. don't settle for less than what you want

mmm congrats. that was quick.

benincitys:

i think is too hot in nigerian to wear boot.

dem they wear anything for naija

justwise:

Don't stop her, but keep an open mind about the whole thing. One of my female friends here is going home next month to marry her bf of 7yrs. She has being here for more than 6yrs now but still love this guy, sends money to him,

, tried to bring him out here last yr but he was refused entry at the heathrow airport, though they are both Malawians.

good you mentioned that

it is called show business.  most people forget the word  business which they are into.  the bigger the market, the better for business

mama-gee:

The American First Lady, Michelle Obama is pregnant and expecting a baby

mmmmmm source pls.

Sam Milla:

Mohammed Abacha, the eldest son of the former Nigeria Head of State, late General Sani Abacha, is set to join one of the existing political parties in the country, a declaration that would symbolically mark the beginning of the family’s quest to return public life. The Abachas had abruptly been cut off the national leadership scene when their patriarch, Gen. Abacha, suddenly died some 11 years ago, while still serving as the Military Head of State.

A very credible source told the Daily Sun in Kano that Alhaji Mohammed Abacha, when he eventually steps out into the political fray in the days ahead, is most likely going to pitch his tent with the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) adding that so far, discussions between him and some of the stakeholders of the party, both in Kano State and in Abuja, have reached an advanced stage.

It is speculated that the younger Abacha, upon his admission into the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) would immediately set his eyes on the Kano State Government House, hoping to emerge as the gubernatorial candidate of the PDP and eventually, the governor of the state by 2011. Incidentally, the Abacha Abachas are believed to have had a long-standing romance with the All Nigerian Peoples Party Party (ANPP), especially in Kano, where the party, at some stage, even road on the seeming popularity of the Abachas with the common Kano folks. It is still not clear what brought about the u-turn to PDP.

A new power equation
At the helm of the coordination of the highly guarded proposal is Alhaji Umar Gano Bayero (not directly related to the emirate). Alhaji Bayero, a former gubernatorial candidate of the Action Congress in the 2007 polls is a close confidant of the family and one of the associates of the former governor of the old Kano State, Alhaji Abubakar Rimi.

His central role in the entire project has since led to the belief that, should the proposal work out as projected, Alhaji Abacha might not be joining the Kwankwaso’s faction of the party, which sources told the Daily Sun is frightened by the prospect of this new factor to the political balance of the party in the state and yet hopeful, the young man might join the faction in the end.

Already, a proposal for the formation of an eight- man Central Working Committee that would manage this ambition is in the offing. Sources said the names of the members of the committee were carefully selected to represent the seriousness of the new deal, adding however that their initial meeting, which should have taken place by now, was placed on suspension pending the fresh registration exercise of the party in the state which is billed for next week. It was also gathered that the meeting was caused to slow down with a view to allowing the CWC have a glimpse of the nature of the party’s congresses and the shape of the incoming executive of the state.

“The Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) offers the young Abacha a number of benefits, including the fact that it is the party in government at the national level and a party that stands an average chance to win the next gubernatorial election in the state, if the right candidate and the right leadership is put to work,” said the source.

The source opined that a character from the Abacha’s family would invariably excite the top notchers of the PDP in the country, arguing that Alhaji Mohammed Abacha fits into the kind of personality the party and those sympathetic to the interest of president Yar Adua need to balance the power equation in the party in the state.

2011 guber in the mix
In reference to the 2011 battle in the state and for the survival of the president, the source added: “You see Alhaji Mohammed is very, very rich. PDP and indeed, Yar’Adua would be interested in such a person who can spend his own money for the sake of the party. This is typical of the Yar’Adua we now know, that is, getting others to do his work for him while staying aloof and watching from a distance”

A number of investigations carried out by the Daily Sun in Kano State recently confirmed that the relationship between the family of the former head of state and the incumbent President, Alhaji Umar Yar Adua, has been on the upward swing since the president was sworn into power, some two years ago. It was discovered that the pressure mounted on several fronts against the Abachas by the previous administration of Chief Olusegun Obasanjo has been gradually relaxed for the family, if not totally suspended.

Notably among them is the easing on the tight security around the matron of the family, Hajia Mariam Abacha, who, it was gathered, has since had an ease in the restrictions placed on her movement. A security source told the Daily Sun that she can now travel to any part of the world so long as she can get their visa. This new development is a sharp contrast from the restricted nature of her freedom during the eight-year rule of the past administration.

It is also on record that the former First Lady was one of the very first few jubilant Nigerians to rush to the Yar’Aduas in Kastina to celebrate their son’s election as the president of the country and on that occasion, she was well received by the then incoming First Lady, Hajia Turia Yar’Adua.

A burning ambition
Daily Sun also was gathered from another competent source that this is definitely not the first time that Alhaji Mohammed Abacha had plotted to join the politics of the state, adding that much as he was not in a hurry to stage a come back given the hostile climate against his family under Obasanjo, he had always kept an eye on the political development of the state, waiting for the right time to strike.

The source, a long time relation of the Abachas, recalled that the last time Mohammed had tried his hand on this long nurtured pet project, was some two and a half years ago, when the Economic and Financial Crime Commission (EFCC) had tried to wreck the ambition of some serving governors, including the second term ambition of the governor of Kano State, Mallam Ibrahim Shekarau.

The source stated emphatically that the Abacha son, sensing that the coast was clear, immediately flew to the Eastern part of the country to try to persuade the Chairman of the All Nigerian Peoples Party, Chief Edwin Umezeoke, to consider him for the gubernatorial ticket of the party in state in the event the incumbent governor was barred by the authorities. He observed that the move suffered a major set back when a court ruled against the barring of the governors by the EFCC.

On the chances of the young man in a complex political terrain like Kano State, the source noted that it is one thing to want to declare oneself for political service and another game all together when one is inside the political fray with all its ups and downs. He added that for now, many people are urging on Mohammed Abacha to join politics and based on this, it seems he is a popular choice of the people. He, however, expressed pains that some of these persons singing his praise worthiness are not singing it out of genuine concerns but are simply out to milk his purse.
http://sunnewsonline.com/webpages/features/newsonthehour/2009/june/23/newsbreak-23-06-2009-001.htm
He stated that in the political equation of Kano state, the family of the Abachas, no doubt, enjoy some form of love and respect, despite their demonization by a section of the media in the country, but he feared that Mohammed Abacha might be his own undoing, given that he is seen as a character that does not mingle with others outside his class of select friends, adding that he rarely steps out to visit people when they are bereaved and is hardly available for other kinds of social engagements in the community. This character trait, he stated, means a lot to the people of the north and Muslims generally. Efforts to reach out Alhaji Mohammed Abacha for comment were unsuccessful.

that is where thieves like his family should belong

$osisi:

Same thing I say.
He must not have mouths to feed either.
Game shows that don't involve betting with money is gambling.
I don laugh taya
what does he call walking the streets of Nigeria or travelling on Nigerian roads
Isn't that gambling of the highest order
Please poster go and post the job at the job section let someone use it and feed their family

u bet they all buy shares. abiola their great uncle didnt see share dealings as criminal and those alhajis doing currency fluctuation/ exchange wont say they are gambling. looting the treasury and stealing other people wealth is not staeling. tell me about foolishness and evil.

KunleOshob:

;d  ;d  ;d

1994 graduate i can see you answering your "fathers" name.  you are coming out clearer and clearer every minute.

rubi:

Re-read the poster again he said they did it twice and it showed negative. That home test is accurate

@Topic Maybe she is pulling your legs to see your reaction. Girls do that alot

o girl be careful o. i no dey use glass na. i beg make the boy go rejoice. wetin na him start am. even that negative fit be the false result.

sistawoman:

When I brought my house and was packing everything I ran across some old cards and letters from my ex. It made me remember the person he presented himself to be and made me mourn his loss.

I really had hoped that he was the one but he was not and God had other plans for me. Althou I have to say he made it 3 years before the cracks started to show and the pretense started to fall. It took another 2 years for me to end it.

dont worry we love it like this. nigeria = 1 AA = 0.

[size=28pt]Securing A Man’s Heart[/size]
By Gladys Omoragbon

There is an adage that says “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.” Some wives do not know that if a woman wants to get a man’s heart, the woman has to start from his belly.


Men are big babies and they need to be petted and showered with love. Every man enjoys good blended meals. It is painful that lots of house wives have been carried away into money – hunting thereby abandoning their first and foremost divine responsibility in the home.


It is the duty of every woman to prepare good meal for the husband and children. No matter the success of the woman in other areas, if she fails in the home, she has failed completely. The health of any family depend; very much on the type of diet they take. Good proteinous, energy giving food will always save the family from periodic or frequent visit to the doctor. I know some women who always buy family needs from the near-by store instead of going to the market where they can buy them cheaper. To try to economise is not bad at all but such women are the lazy types that can go to “Mama Put” to buy food to eat when there are things at home they can use to prepare good meals.


Good meals do not only keep one’s husband and children always near the dining table, but nourish their bodies and immune them against attacks from certain diseases. Good housewives take time to think and plan the family’s menu from day to day. It takes creativity to work in the kitchen. Some women do not even know how to cook at all. They leave the work to the maidservant. A woman told me the other day that she does not know how to fix thread in a stove because she has never done it.



No wonder most maid take the husbands of such women because they know how to satisfy the men’s stomach better than their wives. Some women, when you asked them the meal for the day will say, “let me ask the house girl”. You see, the woman who is supposed to be the meal planner is now asking the maid about its preparations.


Some women also, even if they can cook, do not do it on time. They delay the cooking and when the hubbies come back, they start rushing and muddling things up. I am yet to see a man who does not get angry when his meal is not prepared at the right time. Men have taken to roadside eateries and big hotels in search of better meals which their wives cannot give them in their homes. Most men get angry and storm out of the house in such situations. These kind of men know every eating spots and joints in their locality.


In those days when husbands refused their meals, it would make their wives to prepare special meals for then as an appeasement. In any case, I do not buy the idea of man’s hunger strike in the home because I feel it has ceased to be either a tool of discipline or motivating factor, I advise men not to engage in such hunger strikes, otherwise they would go hungry world without end as there are just a few women who really care enough these days.


Most women forget that the only and best way to get the man to do what you want is when he has deposited some good food into his stomach. Whenever you bring up any matter, he is ready to listen and given you favourable response. But when he is hungry and you bring up any matter, he either shouts or clamps down on you. It even leads to some men keeping late nights. If they cannot get good meals from their wives, they get them somewhere else. When they eventually come back, you will see them with toothpicks in their mouths or they pick at the food prepared by the wives and complain all through.


Women should take time to prepare and serve good meals to their husbands and children. This is one of the ways they can get to their spouses.http://www.nigerianobservernews.com/19062009/features/features1.html

luxoire:

that is exactly what happened i think - i didn't know any better - although i could say thanks to them i have an in-built bull high sensitive bull shit detector!!

gosh - you see how some of them ignore you for weeks - then turn up wth some long ass story and apology and then when all isstettled they tell you they are about to be evicted and you 'lend' them money - lol - those are bad debts written off - now i know better

twerps!! - they must have had the last laugh

thank God for deliverance. just last week i remembered one small boy that would have asked "uncle" to buy wimbledon stuff for him.

luxoire:

Does any one else keep e-mails, letters, text msgs from exes?

Do you ever read them and when you do what goes through your mind?

Do you cringe at the thought of some of it - or doesn't it even feel like it was you doing those things? Do you miss anything about them or are you just glad to be rid of them?

Holla

very very glad with thanksgiving

luxoire:

was just going thorugh my inbox and e-mails from 3+yrs ago from a couple of exes and i just kept thinking - what were you doing with some of those guys

obviously paying you - all their excuses and sweet names, an apologies and i felt my skin crawl!!!

discovered some when i moved last year. it is quite amazing how much foolishness we tolerate when you dont know no better.

javalove:

Salam Alykun

I opened up this thread so that we can discuss how affects what we do to earn a living.

I have a little problem

My company (Jajitech) has just been called for a contract by a company. This company deals in TV game shows(sports) where users from all over Nigeria can participate by sending text messages and at the end of the day, a winner is announced.

My task here is just to create a software that queries all the people that have participated and randomly pick a winner.

Please, I am sooooooooooo confused now as alot of money is involved and is it Islamic.

I have read somewhere that I can write the software for them that its Halal but i need more explainations and clearifications.

E sa nu mi . . e jooooo

lagosboy and olabs over to you. is this about the gambling or the act of decision making?

KunleOshob:

Colossians 2:8:

   8 Don’t let anyone capture you with empty philosophies and high-sounding nonsense that come from human thinking and from the spiritual powers of this world, rather than from Christ.

Does this remind you of church indoctrination, practices and other man made rules prevalent in our churches



Colossians 2:16:

   16 So don’t let anyone condemn you for what you eat or[b] drink[/b], or for not celebrating certain holy days or new moon ceremonies or Sabbaths.

Some pastors would tell you as a christian you should not drink even though it has no scriptural basis.



Colossians 2:18-19:
18 Don’t let anyone condemn you by insisting on pious self-denial or the worship of angels, saying they have had visions about these things. Their sinful minds have made them proud, 19 and they are not connected to Christ, the head of the body. For he holds the whole body together with its joints and ligaments, and it grows as God nourishes it.

Surely Jesus needs to send apostle paul back to earth to come and see the sate of the church helped establish and laboured so much for, if he doesn't die of heart attack when he sees the state of the church today he would be assasinated by our pulpit pimps[pharisees] for spoiling their business or for daring to question their authority as they now consider themselves as demi-gods

you may also want to note st. paul also said in

1 Corinthians 13 (New Living Translation)

[size=15pt]Love Is the Greatest[/size]
1[b] If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing.[/b] 3 [size=20pt]If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it;[a] but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing.[/size]
[/size]
4 [size=14pt]Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.[/size] 6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

8 Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages[b] and special knowledge will become useless. But love will last forever! 9 Now our knowledge is partial and incomplete, and even the gift of prophecy reveals only part of the whole picture! 10 But when full understanding comes, these partial things will become useless.

11 When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things. 1[/b]2 Now we see things imperfectly as in a cloudy mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity.[c] All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.

13 [size=16pt][b]Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love[/size].

if you use this mirror of your paul i guess you will see how righteou you are

KunleOshob:

Whilst i agree with you that it is good to honour God with our money Jesus never taught us to do this through tithing or giving to the church the passage below descibes how Jesus instructed we give to him/God. I would rather follw the teachings of christ than twisted doctrine being preached from the pulpit by mere men.

Matthew 25:31-40:

The Final Judgment
   

   31 “But when the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, then he will sit upon his glorious throne. 32 All the nations will be gathered in his presence, and he will separate the people as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. 33 He will place the sheep at his right hand and the goats at his left.

   34 “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from the creation of the world. 35 For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home. 36 I was naked, and you gave me clothing. I was sick, and you cared for me. I was in prison, and you visited me.’

   37 “Then these righteous ones will reply, ‘Lord, when did we ever see you hungry and feed you? Or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38 Or a stranger and show you hospitality? Or naked and give you clothing? 39 When did we ever see you sick or in prison and visit you?’

   40 “And the King will say, ‘I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!’

kunle and his slow poison religion. is this the scripture you will be using to con your own set of people? so it is good to give you as brethren but not as church?

‘I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me

you must know there was a sect in the 70s called the brethren go check their records and see how they abused lives, trust and money.

i can see you becoming nigeria's answer to waco, texas. this is how you all start

chaircover:

@poster, your hubby has already agreed to give your sister in law the money so it's best not to discourage him.

Lets give your sister-in-law the benefit of the doubt; who knows she may need the money for something more important than lace material; jewellery etc and she may want to invest in some business venture and as such will be in a position to return the money. So lets wait and see first.

You are in a no win situation because if you make a big deal about it, your husband will start doing things behind your back but on the other hand there is the likely hood that once he starts "lending" her money, she will continue to come back for more, that's if she is that kind of person.

The only thing to do now is to gently & lovingly remind your husband; I didn't say nag the importance of talking to you fists before committing himself to anything of that importance. The key is to put your point across without your husband suspecting that you are pissed off or he feels thar you are telling him what to do.

If I was in your position, I will be a little annoyed to with hubby for saying yes & with her for not speaking to me about it first especially as we see every week but sometimes some things are not just worth getting hot about & just let it go.

You have said you can afford to give away the money; so thank God for your blessings. its better to be a giver than a borrower.

you are another good cool head here. they say never test the fire with your hair & head. some troubles are not worth starting.

mrsb:

Thanks chaircover you're so right.

He actually just called me to say that she dropped a post-dated cheque for the whole amount to his office today. I'll update the thread in October and let you know if the cheque clears!!

can we charge you 1000naira for the head ache u caused this afternoon? go and sin no more.

JeSoul:

hmmm . . . I can certainly appreciate the very different dynamics of being a housewife in Nigeria vs in the West, they are two very different scenarios and I certainly empathize with those in Naija who say you must have a back-up plan, I don't blame una jare. But at the end of the day it really comes down to the kind of man you chose to marry.

Well as for me I can and am going to be a housewife[b] for a short time . . . for one major reason [/b] - to raise my future children myself. I will be at home until they are old enough and I'm confident enough in the job I have done. I will not leave their fate to the hands of daycares and morally and academically deficient schools - they will be my #1 job, along with my future husband.

 To my fellow sisters, there is nuthin demeaning or reducing in staying home to raise & take care of your family for a while - infact I see it as the hardest job and the most noble a woman can do. Of what use is it if I succeed in a career but lose my household? It is extremely hard to be successful at both - you must pick one for a season to focus on, and you can always do some kind of part-time gig if you have a lotta time of your hands. This is not to say you won't have dreams and other goals - those can come before or after the children are grown.

jesoul, plenty plenty thanks. is that you on the youtube video?

luxoire:

@Topic - you don't need a man to be happy - but you need a man to be HAPPIER - why because they give you that sense of Completion - that sense of you are not alone, that sense of togetherness. God made man and woman to live together and no matter how hard that may be to accept - you don't need another human being to make you happy - but they would take your happiness to another whole level

[size=18pt]this works for men and women

[/size] happy art thou. u are always a breathe of fresh air on NL

rubi:

Let your husband know how pissed off you are so that next time he will get your consent. If that bank a/c sqanders you will be the one to face the consequencies alone

rubi you dont kill flies with guns.  it is his money.  he can easily do it without telling mrsv.  you must always avoid situations where you get more trouble than you are trying to cure. there is no use being pissed off over this.  it is a business the only thing i find bad is probably the husband dont know.   trust me if this woman is desperate to get this money she will get it by other means that will probably mess up the family than taking the money.

rubi:

@JJYOU she knew she will not pay back that is why she went behind her. My red flag is the wife should know before not after simple

that was why i said she should be the one giving the money to her in the first place. give her the benefit of doubt she may just pay back.

mrsb:

Plus - more importantly - he knows he can't say NO next time I ask for money!!!! Win win all round.

i am texting this to him now so he know you are coming abegging too.  it is nice lets keep a happy home and enjoy being blessed to be a blessing.

if she is not telling dont bring up the matter please it is not worth the wahala. the hubby trust u to cover his back so keep covering it. some men wont tell.

after this  tell your husband asking her to take the money from you will get his money back quicker and probably protect him from any possible blackmail cos the husband would be more comfortable if he knew you waz aware as they say.

rubi:

Money loaned to family memebers will never be paid back and they know how to take advantage of the kind hearted ones. If I am you I will feel humiliated for been close to me still you went behind my back and ask my husband b/c he is your brother huge maount of money. If it is pocket

money I understand but huge I have red flag.

why is that?  it is his bros wife.

Gentlelady:

I can't be a full time housewife!  I have seen what some widows/divorcees in Naija pass through.  The woman becomes the sole breadwinner, it is not fun starting a career or business when one is advanced in age and without a partner to support you.  One does not pray for evil things to happen but we must be prepared for it when it come.

Money does answereth all things! It pays the bills and keep the kids happy! These days in Nigeria the wife has to support the husband to meet up and of course she has to have something doing incase things go wrong.

plan well becos what we plan for does almost always happen. fera certainly has torment.

Ournaija:

The honourable Minister of Information Prof. Dora Akuyili said in a Nigerian youth interactive forum that a Nigerian youth held on to the rebanding site a day to the lunch of the site. She said the site was meant to sell the brand "Nigeria". She said that the site was meant to hear from Nigerians and foriegners on how to attract investors to the country. She also said that there are so many beautiful stories tell about Nigeria on the site but unfortunately a Nigerian youth has hijacked the site before it launch by the federal government.

Someone said that they guy should be paid. Is this smartness or sabortage,What do you think of this act?

was she drunk when she was saying all these and where is the source?  she is trying to rebrand now she has one on her hands cant she start by rebeanding the boy.

Nezan:

I think 'real women' should save themselves the trouble of marriage. Going into marriage with this mindset is bad. [/b]Situations may arise when you will have to work to make your marriage work, as well as relinquish your work to make your marriage work. [b]Emphasis in any happy marriage is on 'making the marriage work' than on the individuals involved.

you are very correct. there is a topic with similiar title here from i think last year and listening to our people ( sadly mostly women ) you get the impression that all that matters in life is money and nothing more.  i came out of that thread with the impression of most nigerian marriages are as good as marraige of convinience.

the idea of a happy healthy home is allien to us as a people.  you can easily see why a generation educated by mostly  uneducated society is busy creating the next set of unfulfilled illeterates.

as usual money answereth all things for the nigerian mind.

OMO IBO:

it is mostly the unmarried, single and young ones who come out barking and screaming 'real woman/women' and how they won't stay home.
nothing wrong with that.

having a pre-determined mindset especially in marriage/family home is definitely not the way to go.
i am not married and wont be for a couple of years but it does not take rocket science to understand that.

These women NEED TO STOP LISTENING TO OPRAH

you wish sister O was their problem

Tudór:

When you're jobless and have no education prostitution is the obvious route. .

For the self righteous bigots condemning them what'd you expect them to do. . .? Photosynthesize?

Tudór:

Give me examples of better ways

tudor so u support and love prostitutes? that is amazing

lovestorm:

@tudor
better ways

i was 15yrs when i lost my dad, 6th child out of seven kids. the 1st son who is the second child was just doing his OND at the polytechnic. my daddy was in the police force, he died an officer.
regardless of all these my mum only had a standard six education, we were broke, couldn't feed, just nothing. mum decided to do business, got in touch with an old standard six class mate, gets stocks from her on credit, sells, keep the profit and return the capital.
this she did till she got established, built 2 houses, bought a car, sent everyone of us to school for a degree. i got lucky with a second degree. the last of us finished NYSC 18months ago and with oceanic!

what will u call mum? literate? illiterate?
she had kids-7! responsibility! i can vouch she never had anything to do with any man since i was part of this business till i finished my first degree and was with her all time!!!

and these street prostitutes? mostly educated, please lets be real and forget sentiments.

there are better ways! better ideas! it may take sacrifice, a lot of but we will get there!!!

they can learn from that!

they are human i agree but we need to disuade them by fighting it anyhow we can!

it is not just the streets the place is full of prostitutes. just go into any good hotel in abuja. the ones doing the streets are overflow. it is a shame nigeria has turned this way

daretayo:

I am a 34 year man and me and my wife has been seperated for the past 1 year.
Dont really want to go into the reason and everything, but lets just say its a situation that cants be remedied .But we have a son that is 1 year 5 month and 17 days.
When we seperated she took the child with her to her parents place and they have been there for the past 1 year and all efforts to settle the rift has been abortive. And right now I no longer love her anymore .
My problem is this. The child is with her and i was told to stop coming to the parents house to see the boy.
Before them she communicates with me grudingly about My son's needs and we are not on talking terms at all. I would have prefered that despite the fact that we hate each other guts we should act like decent human beings.

For a period of 3-4 weeks I did not send supplies partially because she did not communicate with me regarding his exact needs ,also I was so broke during that period and I was protesting the unreasonble demands made.
When eventually after 3 weeks I went there to see my son. I sent some things to him but my ex-wifes parents and she herself refused those things and sent for me.
On getting there I was told that I should stop bringing things for the boy and that henceforth I am banned from coming to the house again.It was a big scene and I exchanged words with parents for the first time in 12 months.

My problem now is the next step to take.
Most people advise that I leave the child with them and face my life and rebuild my failed buiness and carreer(hidden and real reason why the my ex-bitch left me)
But its not easy for my me cause I love my son to pieces and cant bear not being part of his childhood.
My ex-wife is asuch a nasty bitch that she will probably take the child away soon and disappear.

The second option is to go be a man's man and go and take my son from them.
Technically we are yet to divource and that means I still have the right to go and take my son. If I go to court , the court might grant her custody and I will lose out. But now that noone has gone to court yet.My lawyer says that I can exercise my natural right as the father and take him away using reasonable and mininal force.
Note that I dont love her any more and she does not love me.
But She and her stupid family is using the boy as a bait.
Majority ask me to leave her and the child and face my life.
But my heart is heavy and also they will tell the boy stupid stpries when he grows up.Remember that history is written by winners.

Note that we were legally married

whatever you do dont fight it is not worth it. of course they will tell stories but truth eventually comes out