₦airaland Forum

Very interesting topic

@ Poster,

I believe you are seeing the tell-tale signs that his heart is not 100% with you.

However, I suggest you ask him to give you a break, separate from him for a while and study his reaction all through this. During this time, you need to work on your self. Let this time be a period in which you let him know you are giving him the time to make up his mind on who he really wants. His actions and reactions to you all the while will give you insight on what you should finally do.

In all, be very sensitive, watchfull and prayerful!


Cheers!

@ Poster,

Put yourself in your cousins shoes. Wouldn't you feel betrayed if you were not told. You are supposed to watch out for your cousins interest. Tell her about it, and let her decide what she'll do about her cheating husband.

@ Babyboy,

The first problem that needs to be solved is you!!! I can only sense jealously, jealousy and more jealousy in your post! I am not saying that your wife was right hiding her phone from you, NO!! The question is: "Why didnt you react or even ask her about it immediately you discovered the phone?" You see, subjecting yourself to unnecessary emotional stress very early in your marriage will only make you jump into taking irrational decisions.

More so, after checking through the contacts, I dont believe you needed to call anyone of them. You only showed them how very insecure you are in your very young marriage. The person you needed to contact immediately was your wife. At that point in time, you would be able to judge her by her reactions to you. If she acted suspicious, you would have known.

You really need to understand that certain issues need not be prolonged. The fact that she is staying away from you will only heighten your suspicions of her. You really need to be bold and act manly most times. Let her understand that you are aware of the phone and you need to understand why she hid this phone all the while. Let her explain to you what she does with the phone and why is it that only those names are on it,

Let her know that you love her and you are willing to do everything to make the marriage work if only she cooperates with you! You both need to be very open about your friends, relationship with others etc.  

The first few months after marriage are usually the most critical. You dont have to let jealously get a greater grip on you. Release your wife from that hold of jealousy, be very very patient with her. If she is trully cheating on you, somehow, someday, you will discover it, even with more concrete evidences she won't be able to deny. Be the wise one here.


Finally, stop thinking leaving your marriage is the best solution to a problem you are yet to solve!!!

The activities of the day were overwhelming. Became so exhausted after the reception.

Slept all night till the next day and then, !!!

I believe its best you get the true picture from your wife. Does she dress provocatively? Is your wife academically sound and focussed or is she the type that parties around? I am asking these because the way she may have been presenting herself matters a lot.

No matter what, you will have to arrange to meet with the lecturer. Tell him you are the husband and you do not like the idea of him even thinking of doing such to your wife. Ask to see his immediate boss and explain to him.

You will also talk to your wife to try and be exceptional in her academics, this is so because the papers will speak for her should in case the lecturer still decides to fail her unjustly.

Is it supposed to be a gender thing? No one should quit any job for the other irregardless of how much they receive.

@ Poster,

I think its better you face the issues squarely.

She said she wants you to establish her business. I can only sense that definitely, she needs to get herself busy. Maybe she isn't gainfully employed and she needs some kind of financial freedom which she does not have. Also, you may not be performing your entire responsibility as a husband towards her. So I will only suggest that you give her what she wants.

I guess by the time you do this, all the curses and insults will surely turn into her singing your praises.

Since you said you were a christian, I will always encourage you to keep praying for her.

The man is going about this the wrong way!!! Those kids are still his responsibility. He should simply take them as his adopted children (which they are) and continue to bring them up. Asking them to be returned to their biological fathers is unnecessary as it will not only bring shame upon him but also upon his entire family.

How would he as a man feel, if suddenly someday, some grown-up kid walks up to him and says, "Am your son from "Caroline" whom you had a fling with a couple of years ago?" That is exaclty what he is asking his wife and kids to do. No one would like to wake up to the rude shock of the existence of any child of theirs, without any prior inkling of such.

The woman should simply take heart.

I suggest you really consider your decision to marry now.

Marriage is indeed a good thing however, a lot is needed to sustain it, one of which is finance. You have to consider whether you want to be extremely comfortable in your home or whether you'll prefer to live from hand-to-mouth (struggling to make ends meet). The ball is in your court.

Besides what are the reasons why you choose to get married with no steady income source from either party?

Apapa - definitely is more commercial.

Remember, a major gateway for both Exportation and importation (the Apapa Seaport - Nigerian Ports Authority) is located there. Also, lots of government agencies as well as individual and corporate businesses have their offices in Apapa.

I work in Apapa and i can confess that the traffic situation, after closing hours is worse than that in V/I.

@ Poster,

I suggest u act like Joseph in the bible did. Run from her as fast as you can. If you see her coming one way, follow the other way.

Try as much as u can not to yield to the temptation and you won't regret it.

She is married and bound to someone else legally so avoid her! She's just a tool in the hand of the devil.

Flee!!!!

What is darkness in the presence of light?, Nothing!!


All power belongs to JESUS!!!!


Halleluyah!!!

Start planning for your new baby!!

I dont think the husband is as wicked as she is.

Why in the world would she leave her child behind? Dint she think about the fact that she was pregnant already before she left the house? Did she plan to have the baby in her father's house? 

Even if there was a problem, a little patience on her part would have solved it. I don't ever support a woman leaving her house in the face of an argument. She really has to do more than merely begging her husband. Perhaps her elder siblings should accompany her.

We can only understand the story better when we hear the man's side of it.

Either boy or girl, you'll definitely grow to love the child. I wanted a girl first, but had a boy and it still does not change the fact that i love him so much. He's an adorable child .

Wish him dead, or better still snuff the life out of him

Stop being concerned about your dad's will but rather think about how you'll be a success in life!!!

I dont think its proper for any parent to favour a particular child over another. It brings sibling rivalry in most cases!

Cant stop laughing at this naive mama!!!!

GEW:
do you really believe every ma inlaw should be told to know her place in her sons home?

I meant those MILs who have refused to understand that their son has his life to live and still believe that their son is still a boy and not a man. Those who see their daughters-in-law as 'rivals' etc.

Wow!! Thats wicked and extreme

@ Poster,

To a very large extent, the type of home you come from tells a lot about you and your personality. Most especially the behavioural patterns that you have learnt from your folks will always influence your choices and decision making. That is why a lot of people believe that if you come from a seperated home, your marriage may probably be broken.

However, the choice is yours. I advice that you work on yourself and make a conscious decision that your marriage will not follow the way of your parents'. Make an conscious effort to do everything possible to make it work.

Don't believe if everyone tells you your marriage will not work. Always say to yourself that it will. All da best!!

GEW:
[size=24pt]
However, in everything in life, there are always two sides to it, so if some mothers-in-law are bad, there are certainly some that are like real mothers. Even better than some real mother. Some mothers-in-law are really nice. They do anything to make sure that the son’s wife is comfortable in the home. [b]I know of some who would even take sides with the woman (whether wrong or right) whenever there is a conflict between the couple. After, she would call the woman and admonish her about what she did. But she does not reproach the woman right there in the presence of the man (that is her son.)[/b]So in coping with a nagging-mother-in-law, one needs first and fore-most to learn to accept her. Also be determined to make the best out of a bad situation.

I agree, Not every mother-in-law is bad. Mine for example is really good. She is a very good christian and just like a mother to me.

I believe that most issues involving mother-in-laws can be settled when the husband lets the mother know her place and not allowing her cross her boundary in his home.

Seek God!!!

He alone can and will heal her completely! He did it for me, He has been doing it for others and He will surely do it for your sis.

ONLY BELIEVE!!!

If you say your dad is 80% right, then it means that you have already made up your mind to listen to him.

However, I believe if you truly love your girl, you should find a way to convince your dad that you love her, she is what you want and you both can make a good couple.

Overall, you need to weigh all your dad's point first. Pray also and involve your mum, siblings etc if you feel otherwise.

Thats it!

She was handed over to the groom in her church, thanksgiving is time to present her to the groom's (family) church. This is simply because she is now a member of the groom's family. Afterwards, you both can keep attending your individual churches.

Ideally, weddings are held in the wife's or her parents church and thanksgiving the groom's church. Except both parties hold strong resentments for each other's church.

@ Poster,

What is wrong with marrying someone from a broken home?

There are people from broken homes who have learnt how not to get their homes broken. So it all depends on you.

I think this is the craziest thing i have ever heard.

Why can't the reporter report the case to human rights agencies? This child should be taken away from the mother and kept in an orphanage.

You can be sure that if the child remains with the mother, she will not take care of him and then we have another Area - Boy in the making!

Too bad!!!!

Does it really matter? If both have the understanding that the money you make as husband and wife, is meant to be for the two of you.

Marriage is not supposed to be a competition but a partnership.

SILENCE IS INDEED GOLDEN!!!!

The man is going thru the first phase of his punishment - lack on inner peace, guilt, betrayal of trust, etc

Then comes the next punishment, when she decides to speak - Her verdict!

She is keeping silent for now, not because she does not know what to say, but because, she is only watching and waiting for the right time to do so. However, if the man is wise, he ought to have started begging from day 1, and then find ways of getting the woman to forgive him before she says anything.

Going to meet her parents is out of the way, because he married his wife and not her parents. He has got to find a way of pleading his case before he comes home to an empty house.

happy birthday! Many more prosperous years ahead!