₦airaland Forum

@Poster,

You need to sit your mum down and talk to her. Let her see reason with you why you want to marry your fiancee. Also, ask her why she is against your marrying from any other village asides yours.

Don't marry, without your mothers blessings o!!

All da best!

Are you saying you slept with her then killed her?

May God forgive you

Well, I think its not just in marriage that this gender thing arises.

What about in certain communities where the people do not believe in the education of the girl child. There are some people who tend to believe more in the male child than in the female. e.g When a woman gives birth to only female children she is not celebrated. A woman who gives birth to a male child seems to receive more praises and accolades as if having a male (or a female) child is by her own doing, forgetting that a man had to be involved in the conception.

I want to believe this has a lot to do with mind-set and mentality. When more africans start to understand that a female child is not less human than a male and that a female child could equally achieve the level that a man does in organizations and in government too.

Now, in marriage, majority of women who suffer this so called inhuman treatment from their husbands, you will find, are those who depend solely on their husbands for everything. This is why it is important to teach a girl or woman the benefits of hardwork. Even when the husband forbids the wife from working, she could still find a little biz to do from home (eg. cake baking and events planning etc).

Women in general ought to rise up against inhuman treatment by their male folks. If every woman were as strong minded and strong-willed like Madam Dora Akunyili, do you all know how improved Africa will be?

Wouldn't this give in room for temptation? Like female friends passing the night in the man's house and vice versa?

What is good for the goose may not necessarily be good for the gander, you know.

@ Peacettw,

Yes, you are not far from the truth. Make God the foundation of your marriage, that is, God, your husband and you, for a three-fold cord is not easily broken.

@ Cibilola,

cibilola:
thank you ohh @ Fhemmmy

@ otilowaju, na true talk, naija pikin dey suffer, right from birth

what is adin agbon?

Adin-agbon is a local oil made from Coconut and/or Palm kernel fruit. It is very good for the skin.

A name is as important as the person.

Whether you give a child a local or foreign name, the most important thing is knowing the meaning of such names and understanding that it could affect the child's future. Eg. When you name a child - Esubiyi (meaning - the devil has brought this), Iyabo (dead mother has returned), etc such names will impact negatively on the child and the child may even develop a low self esteem because of its name. English names such as Linda (meaning - snake), etc have also been known to connote something negative.

However, it is important that you give a child a name that he or she will be very proud of when he or she grows up!!

Disgusting! why didn't the girl raise the alarm immediately her dad started making moves toward her

I suggest young girls must be taught to scream,shout and raise alarm whenever their folks (uncles, dad, brothers, ) etc misdirect their libido towards them.

Nonsense

Why in the world would a brother-in-law slap the brother's wife only because she speaks too much english

The man will leave the house that day o! No story!!!

@ Poster,

I don't think there is any big deal in bathing your baby. The goal is to have a clean and fresh looking baby. Just place the baby on your thighs and wash with soap and warm water (you may use a sponge if need be) However, let it be a very soft sponge and not the local hard ones we have in Nigeria.

As for subjecting the new born to those "rigorous physical fitness" exercises, I don't know as I am yet to confirm if for example there is any benefit after the child is thrown up in the air or suspended up-side down.

You can also massage the baby's body with a warm towel. However, I know that using 'Adin-agbon' to rub your baby's skin is effective in warding-off all those skin rashes that come out shortly after birth.

What about right inside your home! You could also spend quality time in your home. Think about playing romantic games eg. dropping of small numbered tags in different places and asking her to follow the instructions on the tags etc. You can always add spice to your home.

It's not until you spend time and money visiting places that you enjoy each other.

You both need to be innovative and think of more interesting things you could do together, when it comes to enjoying your marriage!

Who says you can't have a nice time visiting family members or friends too?

This is justice! The former AGF ought to know better!!!!

I did not find anything that sounded like an apology in his letter to her. Madam abeg, fire on!!!!

ezeagu:
I think he's a male, so he probably won't be delivering anytime soon as that is biologically impossible.

That was very funny!!!

of course!!

If the relative is going to be fed and housed why shouldn't the other party be informed.

The only reason he will not tell the wife is because she may disapprove of the idea.

I will not be sad about him building a house for his siblings but the idea of keeping it from me will make me angry!!!

I believe, the most important thing is commucation. Be open to one another, communicate your feelings and also be willing to tolerate each other. Both party have a role to play in ensuring that the fire does not go dim, but is constantly being fuelled, with loads of love and understanding.

Only a lazy man/mummy's boy will want his nuclear family to live with his parents in their own house.

Shame on such men!!!!

What kind of a mother does she have?

And so how does that affect you

[quote author=Beautful.B link=topic=392491.msg5445552#msg5445552 date=1265285134]PLS EVERY ONE SHOULD HELP ME OH, FB HAS MADE MY FIANCÈ 2 QUIT OUR R/SHIP. PLS HELP ME. CUS OF d numerous bfs i have n d messages i do send 2 dem, pls he is a member of NL, PLS I LUV HIM SO MUCH.[/quote]@BeautifulB

Are you insinuating that your fiance ought not to have left you after you have clearly made it obvious that he was not the only one in your life?

@ Poster

Please grow up!!!

Starring at Pictures all day on facebook is certainly not a good way of locating a marriage partner. You need to spend a lot more time socializing and meeting ladies (physically) to get a suitable mate.

Your brother is not you! Why allow his judgement/reasoning to cloud yours?

face969:
Ok you guys keep talking abt evil Drs. Wat abt evil patients. Hear this story, one day back in '99 i was a houseofficer @ LUTH paediatric ward there was this child in a very bad state. I cnt remember but it was a fatal neurological condition.
I and my SR (specialist reg.) worked day and nite to save this child but alas the child gave up. It wasn't a shock to us cos we knew how grave its condition was. But it so happened that the time the child gave up was the ExaCt time the father came to visit.
A huge Igbo man, he walked in and saw the nurses preparing his child for the morgue. He took one look @ me and my SR and said ''Dr, so my child is finally dead.''
We both stood silent trying to hide the fact that we were trembling.
''OK, that's alright'' he said in low and calm voice. ''I'm coming.''
He walked out of the ward slowly, me and my oga breathed a sigh of relief, thinking the man hadtaken the loss of his child with philosophical calm. We resumed our wardround, attending to the living.
After abt two minutes we heard the nurses scream ''Dr, Dr !, He's coming, he's coming ! ''
Next thing I saw was a Car Jack flying at the speed of sound, narrowly missing my oga's small head. The man suddenly transformed into carl lewis and jumped out of the nearest window. The nurses simply disappeared, as for my self I hid under the nurses counter while the father rained all manner of expletives on the staff. Of course all those kids were in tears.
A similar incident happend in IB last yr when a MOPOL gassed some kids to death. Thank god no one was hurt in my ward.

That is a very pathetic story! I guess the father should have tried his best to control his emotional outburst.

These are just a few instances of patient's outburst, nothing compared to the ones meted out on the patients by these nurses & doctors, if you ask me!

@atise,

I guess you may just be one in a million. The issue is that the bad ones seem to be much more than the good ones.

I had an experience in LUTH, there was this nurse who all the other nurses hated because she was always responding to patients when they called on her. The will insult her and call her names like "Alaanu Samaria" i.e. Good Samaritan, etc. whenever she was about her duties, while the other nurses were just gisting at their station.

I think majority of them will rather let the patients suffer and will frustrate the attempts of good nurses.

Aren't there Nurses or doctors in the house, who work in these places to attest to this truth?

calabaman:
No service dat comes cheap in this country is usually any good

@Calabaman,

Is it just about cheap service. How many people out there can afford the high fees demanded by private hospitals? Considering the fact that many of these nurses & doctors in these public hospitals are also well paid considerably.

Me still think these people derive some form of "pleasure" from the bad things they do to patients.

Am so happy about this! For once Justice has taken place!

Shame to the NAVY men who harrassed her!!!

Are you giving your husband reasons not to trust you? Search yourself and make amends.

The oath is a nonsense idea! I dint know civilized people still do such a thing rather than dialogue!

I have always wondered to myself why it seems that many workers especially in the Nigerian public health sector seem to be extremely wicked, rude, uncouth, nasty and ultimately wicked!

Personally, I have seen where the nurses rain curses on the patients. This happens regularly in LUTH for example.

In another instance, I went to visit someone who just put to bed at Gbagada general hospital and saw how the women in labour were treated. Most of them are totally abandoned. I even heard the doctor saying (to a woman in labour, already on the delivery bed) to call him whenever she was ready, while leaving her alone in the labour room.

It is really pathetic. It seems to be that all these public health workers seem to be under some form of "evil influence"!

My friends mum died do to negligence on the part of the doctors and nurses in LUTH!

I will really like to hear your experiences if any on our Nigerian Public health services!

Children of nowadays!!!

I really believe he did not think about the consequences of his action before taking it!!


Too bad

LOVE one another.

Applying the principles of love, stated in 1 Cor 13 really works!!!

Simple answer = Ego

Wow, there's much to learn from this story.

So sorry about their loss!

What you earn belongs to you both. Why hide such information from her. Na wa for some men o!!!

It is really wrong to curse or verbally abuse anyone, most especially your child! I think those who do so are not enlightened about the power of the tongue.

"Death and life are in the power of the tongue, those who love it shall eat its fruit thereof."

There are better ways of rebuking a child and abuse certainly is not one of them.