₦airaland Forum

This is so not right for GEJ team. Most of us standing for him are catholics...Who's advising this man for God sake!

The Bishop just nailed it! Mbaka,you are on your own.

Na wa ooo...Even the oldest couple wudn't dare say such.

ifex370:
He did... on the 1st of Jan

Not with wisdom

How I wish you could just learn to ignore her totally! Hummm...It is so obvious that she's bent on destroying you,but my dear,the best way to frustrate that woman is to always ignore her. It may seems hard but if u try u can do it. Hence,always act and live like she's not in existence in a short while,she will start to suspect u having an affair,and then she will realise she's loosing you. Leave her to wear her butt pad a beg,if she likes let her double it gan,just always ignore her. If she's tired,let her ask for divorce, but mind u,the world is evil,be careful how u eats what she cooks thats if she cooks.

He has done no harm,our vote is our power. It's not politics it empowerment. That man is a wise man. I am a catholic but if Fr. Mabaka had done this,I would have respected him more...

It would have still been better to leave the child in the hospital and run,why take the innocent life? what a wicked world!

DDeliverer:
She slept with your friend and still had the guts to blame you 4 it? What will I not hear!

Odogwu, send the girl out of your house immediately or we tell seun to ban you 4 life!

Who knows if this is even the first time sef...

God is indeed very patient.

clean master' helped me out of that problem. u can try it.

adekennis:
That number 7 tho.. Yout mean we should be generous if i read u well

Haba bros! yes GENEROUS is what he mean.

iykedare:
I know of a lady who married a man in his fifties. You need to see the hunger (sex) in her eyes each time she sees a young guy. I laugh when people say that old men are better lovers. That's a slap to the young men. Sex involves technique, energy and passion and I don't see how an old man can do a quarter of what a virile young man can do. Well,good sex is relative.

Maybe the man isn't active or u are wrong! A man in his 50's isn't too old to perform. Men are not sexually weakens by age as women. Even some women in their 50's still dey do ashewo how much men

Emaprince:
why are you so bent on young guys beating,maltreating and cheating on their women?..are you ok?..so women don't cheat and dump their young bfs and marry another man...some of them even date sugar daddies while in relationship and expect the young guy to clap for her?..if your husband is young and doing all these to you,then their is something wrong with you!!!..and stop demeaning young guys...you are the type of women that will say "I don't date young guys,I date married men"..gold diggers!!!
she'lll find peace because she's gotten a man that will endure everything bad that she does...she can sleep around and splurge his money on irrelevant things and the man won't care..smh

Happy New Year. Now to start with, I am ok,secondly,I am a young married woman not to an old man tho. See,I love calling a spill a spill no matter how ugly it may sound in anothers ear. you said am bent on young guys beating ,maltreating and cheating on women,I am speaking of women because the topic is pointed at women,with an unbiased mind. If we pretend these atrocities are not being committed by young men on our ladies how come divorce has become an order of the day in our modern society? Have u taken time to find some of the reasons why married couples seperate or divorce? I only want the Op to know that his female friend made her choice,which I personally have no problem with and strongly feel she shouldn't be treated as a sinner because she married an old man. Either for wealth or wateva,its her taste. The only point I will hate such lady is when she's deliberately breaking and scattering another home all for her selfish desire. But if otherwise,like an old widower or divorcee,or where even his first wife gives her consent,I see absolutely no big deal in it. If too many young Mr. nice are out there and proposing,our single ladies will not be going from church to mountain for God to give them their spouse

majekdom2:
your opinion tho based on the belief that the lady will have some part of the inheritance , or may have made good money and business contacts from this man . atimes it may be a different story . dont you think so ?

Sure! that is y I said life itself isn't rosy,same 'different stories' some ladies gets so unfortunate to meet with some young guys too. .

majekdom2:
if only you know what these ladies married to older men go through , majority will gladly tell you not to follow suit. yes , they marry for companion .... check inwards , majority marry to proove that their money can get them anything they want . have you seen an ugly lady in any of these stories that make news......

Nothing in life is rosy but it is all about choice. either the man is proving his wealth or not the lady still has less to loose.

majekdom2:
sadly , what you see as happiness may not be what I see as happiness .life itself is not fair , your friend who was loyal to her bf didnt have it good but does not mean if she took her time , she would not find the right man ... perhaps she was lusting after something in the guy .... this thing is never a gender thing . there are guys who have been dumped by their gfs for richer men . you may say you find happiness , but you causing sorrow for some other person . your friend dates a sugar daddy who is married and expects to find a jesus as husband . ofcourse her hapiness is sorrow to the wife of the sugar daddy , or a lady married an old man and thinks the women and kids in the life of tht man will be happy , tho this depends , mostimes its a different story ... we seen this even in lives of notable people e.g ojukwu. There is no such thing as perfect partner but there is that one which is always close to whaever we see as perfection . I see any woman who marries a man old enough to her granpa has a gold digger who is trying to find a way out of poverty.

Different views.

majekdom2:
there was no where in my post where I said every young man has got a smooth skin , no matter how we may try to sugar or honey coat it , you cant compare the body of the average young man to that of an old man .is cheating , beating exclusive to a young man , I bet you have not seen an old man that can do worse than a young man when it comes to this. a young man who beats , cheats and is a drunk may grow old with this habit ... is there any theory which says habits diminish with age ? it all balls down to the fact that if your hubby beats , cheats or does not respect you in his young age , you did not marry the right person ... simple.well , everyone has got his choice .

Satisfaction is all that matters. Truly some old men are brutal but i am speaking of majority. most rich wealthy old men marries just to have a young companion. In that they do all they can to keep their companion happy and emotionally Strong. It still have advantages and disadvantages but I think the advantages is far higher than the disadvantages.

majekdom2:
The older man was once the impatient younger dude you just talked about , No one is created old . " better lovers " indeed . we humans just like to make ourselves feel good with our situations when we truly know how we feel inside . when the old man is asked to talk about the best woman in hs life , I can bet it would be that woman in his younger years .

The good thing the lady will find her peace.Look at it from this point,a lady struggles with a young guy,stand by help,help him succeeds and when success comes he dumps her for another. Or a married young couple not rich but the lady is standing still by him.,helping and encouraging him,but yet he beats,cheat and maltreat her,Or the one that after he has made his wealth turns his wife into his house help seeking pleasures in flings...Back in my school days,i had two set of hall mates,the ones with serious bfs that spends their pocket money on their bfs and he gives them free s*x and yet cheat on them and dump them and the ones that would rather have the sugar daddy who would stand firm,meeting their needs and even having less time for s*x with them while giving them all the emotional and moral support.what am I saying,it is all a thing of choice,happiness matters. The Op's friend feels comfortable with that man and she has her best reasons.

majekdom2:
is it about financially secured future , and so what happens to your emotional feelings . tell me how you would feel kissing an old man whose dentition aren't complete , whose skin arent so nice to feel..... you start dating younger guys just to quench the feelings I guess, and you call this " wisdom " .

And what even makes you think it is every young man that has a wrinkle free skin? what makes u think it is every young man with the 'rod' that knows how to perform with it? my dear,a man is old does in no way kill his sexual ability. Money beautifies love,once he has a clean wealth and he's ready to take care of the lady,even if he has a chocolate teeth,it won't just count. She will even feel general emotionally over satisfied.lool. Am a married woman o,but seriously I don't casticate babes who choose to date old wealthy men. Their happiness is all that matters. I maintain,its better to be with that old caring man than wasting time with a careless and worthless young guy that would send you to early grave either by hanging or beating or cheating.

Which is better,to marry an old man and have peace and a financially secured future OR to marry a young struggling guy that will have you weep everyday and post different sorrowful marital problems on nairaland seeking advice Don't crucify ladies who makes such choices o,in the real sense I think they are wise.

Congratulations oooo!!! May you live long in good health of mind and body to enjoy the fruit of your labour. Please motivate us with your success story ooo

Don't worry,just relax your mind,u will dance on that day and no one will teach u how to. Congratulations in advance!

Hummm...na wa ooo,this is a serious question tho surprising to me. Am short of words o but for me I slept numerous times on d same bed with my twin bro n other brothers,such an awful thought never came to our minds.We would dose off and my bro would snore till dawn.

Please don't kill it ooo cus when its time to eat it and u remember or sees the babies,u will so feel guilty. plus,I personally feel its a sin that will be paid for one way or the other.

As for the front seat issue,you have every reason to feel bad about it. Even if u guys are leaving home together with his friends you should still be accorded that respect,unless u rejects and insist his friend sits in front for respect sake. And speaking of his smoking and drinking habit,smh,my advice may sound odd but from experience o,don't go into marriage with a guy u hope would change after marriage. Men usually change for worst after marriage because marriage gives them so many edge over the woman,which you might get even more frustrated. If you were my sister I would advice u to quit. A chain smoker isn't easy to change dear,"He smokes anything smokable" same as drinking and getting drunk. Run while you still can.

Some men thinks its the best punishment to give their wives,but its as bad as a woman denying her husband sex all because she is angry.

Nothing gives me so much bad feelings as seeing a woman put her baby on her back while on a bike. I feel the baby is safe in the arms then the back if one must hop a bike with baby. She just give that baby a painful death out of her own carelessness.

I see no big deal in a guy telling his fellow guy "I miss you or I love you" Its just that we Africans are so found of attaching meanings to too many things.

Am learning a lot here...Its a good thing I shared this burden,am feeling relieved already.

Arsenate:
as every body for nairaland don abuse your husband tire you don happy ba?
i chose not to judge him like everyone is doing here until i hear his side of the story. I've come to understand that you ladies are specialists at giving biased one sided stories in a bit to appear as angels or victims; while your husbands the demons. ain't gonna fall for that anymore.
smh...

Thanks for saying what you have to say,but am not feeling guilty because "the cheek cannot tell eyes not to pour its tears on it while it is sitting under the eyes." meanwhile I need to be sure I am not taking an awkward decision. and am glad every1,no matter the addition or subtraction supported me in not leaving my kid in search of money as my husband demands. I think am ok,that's all that matters as far as my post is concerned. so thanks for your opinion. lastly,I pray you don't find yourself in my shoes.

aisha2:
Madam so what exactly is the benefit in this marriage?

Meanwhile, your husband comes accross like one who never wants to take responsibility and will always find a way to blame everything on others.
Notice how he decided he wanted a child then conveniently changed his mind after pumping you with sper-m urging you to take pills to kill the baby, if you had done that tomorrow he will come up and accuse you of killing his baby. Such men are very manipulative, its a lose lose situation am sorry.

Again, I ask did you date this man? Why did you marry him?

It will so surprise you to know that I dated him for 9 years.I loved him but his attitude since we got married has killed all I felt for him. He is my first. I knew he was a stingy man but I didn't care because i was always independent. moreover i didnt know he would get this worst after marriage.At the 9th year,i left him and told him i cudnt cope,but when i left he called and begged me to come back and marry him. He said all the nice things and made all the gud promises. He promised to love me and treat me like a queen.*smiles* but here I am today. one good thing about him which really made me married him is the fact that he is hard working and ambitious. But what is the point now that am benefiting nothing from him,not even happiness. Since I got pregnant I av never for once gotten a nice and pampering words from my husband. At first I thought he was just having pregnancy fobia,so I wud always send unclad photos of my tummy and my look so that he can at least av a taste of what we are about to have.But he never appreciated any! I am not a perfect woman but I have tried so hard to kip peace. He wants to control me even more than his mum is controlling his dad,yet I accept bcus he is the man in my own case,but rulling out my happiness, especially that baby that am so exiceted about,no that is the part I cànt swallow.

aspirebig:
Op,


I do not support him leaving you behind or renting a different apartment for you either since his parents are still here.

On the issue of going to meet him,that will happen but just try to be patient. Do not leave your child with anyone ooo.

I understand your point and living alone isn't my desire only that living here isn't my joy either. My husband has money but he will do everything he can to avoid cost.I can bet my neck my husband will not send for me and the baby together,he's lookin at the general cost of accommodating his wife and kid. he knows if its just me,I must work either I like it or not but with the baby,it will either involves paying a nanny or me being a full house wife while he alone work.If I insist am not joining him without the baby,he wouldn't mind if I stay with his parents all my life! as it will rather save him much spendings.But I don't want to keep staying with his parents because his mum especially is a silent killer,she wud so agree with her son as she rules over her husband.why am eager to work is because my husband doesn't meet half of my needs.He takes care of hospital bills only. it was October and november he sent 10k each which he asked me to give full account of how its spent. I used it all on hospital bills. I just can't help staying in this house,my mother inlaw will torture me.