₦airaland Forum

njokusboy:
see this one, who sleeps in church when they turn 29 =women
who spends all their money on olive oil from marriage prophets= woman
who spends their time reading on how to catch that perfect husband = women
who blames men for all their problems = single frustrated NL women

Mostly lies and exaggerations.


Abeg, I have made my point already, this is not going to turn into men vs women

@TV01
If you actually read my post instead of quoting to argue against, you will see where I specifically wrote modern marriages, op is to referring love and hurt. And I specifically referred to the history of marriage. I am sure you went to school and can differentiate when someone speaks of history and when someone speaks of modern.

The modern day idea of marriage, the idea many people have even by non-Christians has its origins from the bible, involving love, etc. The idea has been bastardized for so long that it has turned into a fairytale, people should be happy and grateful that they can actually now freely marry for love and not just for some contractual reasons enacted by men to further their interests. You should read up on the history of marriages, maybe even try your own culture. Ask a Nigerian about marriage and see whether he won't quote bible.

Can you please explain to me how it benefits women more?
what because she won't be called names anymore?
Because she can have a child since women are the only humans who want children?
Or what because she "needs" a husband to look after her?
Maybe, the husband bringing in another woman to help the wife with the sex, bearing the children and house chores is beneficial? Or the woman staying in the marriage playing suffer head because of the "children?"


What if she doesn't care about the name calling?
What if she doesn't care about having a child outside of wedlock??
what if she can provide all her needs for herself and for her child?
What benefits will marriage provide for her after achieving everything she needs for herself?

Oh, a faithful man she can have unprotected sex with?
A responsible father?
A man who will be there forever?
These are not guaranteed so how exactly is marriage more beneficial for a woman.
Is it only marriage that a woman has the benefit of having sex every night if she wants to?
Or is it that a woman can only find support in marriage?

The op and I are quite different as I do not hate marriage, I just don't see how women benefit more from it or why it is being painted as a "heaven" where women should aspire to be, especially in these times when single women are achieving more than they ever will if they were married. You make it seem like men are doing women favours by getting married to them.

Op, you should do research on the history of marriage before saying that it is for women etc. Marriage was for men, for expanding family, building up alliances, having people to work for you etc. You cannot just have bastards roaming around everywhere, when you can have a family under your home that you can oversee. Don't come here stating marriage is a woman thing when women have been forced to enter in them for eons just to make daddy happy or expand daddy's Kingdom/empire. It was a way for families to create peace between themselves, a way to enter into a higher class society.
Who invented modern day marriage? Bible
who invented bible? Men
Who reformed it-roman catholics-men
Who dislike and disrespect women who aren't interested in marriage? Men
Who's always insulting Rita Dominic for not being married? Men
Who insults an unmarried woman in her 30s saying her eggs are turning to dust? Men

it's cool if you don't want to get married but don't sit there and say it is an ideal for women. There are many who are suffering in marriages they never wanted, there are many who are being pressured to marry when they are not ready just because they are women. There are many who feel indifferent to it. Lay off women for once and concentrate on yourself.

Have some respect for yourself and for women and you won't be hurt. From your post it seems you have no respect for yourself, no self worth, unable to find love so you want to go through life just sleeping around without an ounce of respect for yourself and body.

It is ok if someone does not want to get married but don't disrespect women for it. Just because you cannot find" the one" doesn't mean that women should hear you rant about them. You should look in the mirror and start working on yourself and have a better attitude towards the world, for there you shall find peace.

XBLadez:
Who re you trying to deceive? That's an animated picture of only God knows where. See the kind of people there. . .and why is one lying on a stretcher anyway?

only way you can find out whether I am deceiving you is to search Google for it. Bye!

https://www.e-architect.co.uk/images/jpgs/africa/university_gambia_campus_s070709_4.jpg
Don't know about the Africa but this beats it.

Husband?

To those saying don't abort the child it could be a scientist etc? How certain are you, especially in your country and economy. Children are more likely to be born in poverty, suffer in poverty, die in poverty than become a scientist. What if the baby is the type who is born to be in such unfortunate situations? I know you would probably tell me back to sender but it's not a curse but reality.


Right now, he wants to keep the embryo but once the baby comes will he actually stick around to be a father? So many men have felt such connections in the beginning but started feeling disconnection at the latter stages of the pregnancy or a couple of months after the child is born.

Weigh the pros and cons of having that child but the first question to ask is, are you ready to be a father, to take up responsibility from now until it's born, through to it growing up and becoming an adult. For life?

You better start hustling for a job and get one before the Fetus is 3months. If you are to abort, don't delay, do it ASAP.

BUT why don't you use condoms though, imagine the diseases that could be hidden in just one person? If your girlfriend decides to keep the baby, take her for a general std test, they can affect pregnancy.

Delicate matter my foot! The mother should be told now before the relationship ends up turning into something. I mean, there should not even be any questions to that, how could she have been on her own for so long taking care of her children and then have some man roll into her life just for her to be disrespected?

I wish the writer could see this, I am even pissed for him or her!

AndreRose:
Its said that too much familiarity leads to negligence. At a time insult and disrespect will creep in. The house wil turn from sweet to bitter. And this can be caused by misunderstanding and who should be giving the "lions share" and as well jealousy of what and how lovely the husband treats the wife an vice versa. At a time the girls sis might start seducing the husband, and from there a lot of trouble will stir up.
Even the sex life of the couple will be curtailed too. They might not be as wild as they planned to.lol
They are free to pay a visit but to stay permanently? No way!

who, what said?

Breeds contempt?

Na only you waka come

Awwh!

You say this happened even before you met her and you still enter. You get mind.
Does it smell?


Ok, I say go for a test, general STD test and ask them to look for Trichomoniasis. Also for Bacterial vaginosis and thrush. The pores and peeling could be from the thrush, greeny discharge from trichomoniasis or just the latter.
That cream they gave her is only to relieve symptoms, you need a cure as the symptoms will come back.

Go to a very good clinic, so they can examine her cervix, urethra everything, take swabs and give her the right medication .

If she has the trichomoniasis, she has to take antibiotics and you also have to take it. if she has thrush too, they should recommend something for both of you just in case you have it.
She could even have all three.

P.s Bacterial vaginosis and trichomoniasis can cause issues for the mother and fetus if not treated. Late Miscarriage, ruptured membranes, premature labour. Tbh, you really won't know the exact problem unless you go for a test from a really good clinic. It could even be gonorrhea or PID, who knows, we can only assume online.

CR77:
The girl no fine but she try with make-up shall.


Congrats 2 them

Wow, nairalanders, I hail thee!
I was waiting for something like this after the previous wedding thread that landed on fp. I know una only have mouth on top woman.
And 36 people liked this? Where are those almighty defenders when ireneony made a similar comment to this? I won't be surprised if it was the same people that liked this one, bunch of hypocrites, una see una life? I am certain you went off because she was a woman. Bloody hyenas, see as you tried to shred one person for making this same sentence yet turn the other way when a male does it on here. Hypocrites of life!






@op, HML!

Lala247:
Same rule applies

Nope, many if not majority are very good lovers


....so I've heard

You should try ghanian men.......

jaybee3:
I stopped at the first stage of the complaints process.

Right kk.. What you got is quite different to what the op is asking for.

jaybee3:
You actually do ya know. I once received compensation from Asda for something similar

What do exactly happened? Did you go through court? I do know most companies offer customers something when such situation arises. Did you suffer some form of damages either physically or emotionally?

Op, you have no case, You should have accepted the extra crates. Could have even sold them and made money. You can report it to the health and safety people for your area wey dey oversee such companies.

He was so tiny and look how big he became, imagine in certain places people do abortions at 26weeks


But hey, I am pro-choice.

MrMandilas:
U are speaking as if u live in the same house with them. When did it become a law in marriage that u must dine with ur inlaws to because they said so. Karma is waiting.

you keep on mentioning "because your inlaws said so, ask you to do so," what has said so got to do with behaving like a goat? I don't need to live in their house, everything needed is on this thread.


Abeg, I have made my point, good day

rokiatu:
Yes you are right but it's so hard especially if you are a friend. She may think I just want to break her home. When he beat her for the second time, I advice her to take action but she did nothing. She always goes back to him and he has numerous gfs and she knows but she's still tolerating it.

Hm, I guess then she should be left to carry on bearing her cross.

If this is the first time she left home, it probably will take her 6 more times before she acknowledges that the man is not good for her, that's if he hasn't left already.

EbolaParasite:
Have you heard the mans side? Women make up all sorts of stories in order to play victim juh. The main problem here is that they probably rub it into his face everyday that they brought him to America. It happens all the time. The wife will eventually get what she is asking for which is become a single mother. Maybe when that happens, her mother can become her husband

I don't need to hear the man's side, there is no excuse that can justify a cheat's actions. Whether he is brought into American or not I don't care, the man is wrong end off.

MrMandilas:
U are wrong bro. What kind of respect are u talking about. Doing whatever ur inlaws asked u to do is not respect. Taking whatever they say happens to ur marriage is not respect it is slavery in marriage bro. My father inlaw is a military man. We don't agree at all. He alway wants her daughter to answer his calls b/4 mine. And i made him understand that she may be his daughter, but now my wife, and that should be respected.

Who is saying respect is doing what your inlaw asks you to do? His behaviour is disrespectful towards the wife and family, not what he was asked to say or do. When you get married you take your inlaws like your parents and give them the same level of respect you would your parents unless of course you have no respect for your parents. You can still respect your parents and have disagreements. If a man cannot show an ounce of respect for the inlaws how much more the wife, it is the same disrespect that caused him to cheat and beat the wife injuring their baby.

Even if he disliked the mother, that is not the way to go about it, you act civil since she is the mother of your wife, not act like a goat about the whole thing. I can only imagine the tantrum he was throwing about how he didn't like the mum so he won't go to the family dinner. What a little bytch! The wife should call the mum anytime the husband beats hers because it seems the mum is the husband's kryptonite.

Not all hidden cameras come with a red dot.

EbolaParasite:
Probably started disrespecting because they did the same to him

So the wife had a girlfriend, beats the husband and disrespects her inlaw? Yep, makes sense.

MrMandilas:
No bro. Let her tell us the begining of this whole thing. There was one easter like that we traveled. I left home to see some old friends. When i returned i saw my wife exchanging words with my mother, i took my wife to know what happened. She is on her right. Inside the room i had to beg her to forgive my mum. I also begged to be calm anytime something like that comes up because that woman is my mother. I went to my mom because i know her so well. She told me the same story. I told my mom she was wrong, my wife still came to beg her. Why because i did not take side with my mom. Please lets call a spade a spade not a farm tool.

Ok the beginning is the husband has a girlfriend, beats the wife and disrespects the Inlaw.

rokiatu:
Yes that is all true, but to be honest with you I am not gonna remind her of all those. And I am never gonna be the one to advice one to leave their home. He did all that and she still forgive him. So I believe if she can live with him doing all that, she certainly can live with him hating her mother.

I just saw the post. This was why I said it was difficult as I did not know how the husband behaves. So he is a cheat and a beater and she is still there. Rokiatu I know you do not want to be the one to tell her to leave but you can advice her in that direction. I mean what if in the near future he beats her and actually seriously injures the kids this time?(I won't add her to the injured because she still stayed after two beatings so it's her cross to bear) Or bring some disease to her, if not hiv, hpv which could later develop into cancer. This is what I meant on that other thread, the signs are always there yet we turn a blind eye to for love. If everything ends bad for her, she has no one to blame but herself. Rokiatu advice her oo towards a life where she won't be battered in front of her kids and cheated on. She will get over the love and even wonder why she loved him in the first place.

Chibuhealth:
Igbo girls are the most beautiful girls in Nigeria. We no dey carry last. Pray to be an Igbo in your next world. We rock!!!!

Lol..

These are beautiful ladies no doubt but many of these women won't be considered sexy.

Sexy=sexual excitement/ attractive, I.e mercy Johnson back in them girl group movies.


Yvonne Nelson should be on the actual list and not as a notable mention
Yvonne okoro too
Belindah effah-did anyone see her in the movie birthday bash? Her body was crazy.

Uche, I mean appealing face but her body is not it at all.

MrMandilas:
I will not go for her because i did not send her away. Paper or no paper. You don't look down on people u helped because u helped them. If am the man, because she prefared her mum to me, she should stay with her mum till she come to her senses.

I do not believe she left because she was looking down on him but the fact that he is being disrespectful. So whay you are saying is if your woman does not respect or regard your mom you won't do anything because you prefer her to you mom so she can behave and treat your mum anyhow she likes?

leezbebe:
some men are dat wicked, he myt prolly not show any sign. Ma sis told me about a frnd of hers in the UK. The lady and her guy dated for 8 years. Nuthin was wrong, he dint give a clue, he just told her he was cumin naija to see his parent. Bt he came home and got married. She saw it on his face book. D gurl wan die. I just wonder how some men can have such a heart. Wickedness in high places.

Don't get me wrong, I am not saying some men aren't that wicked to actually try their best to hide their deceit but there is no way signs of such deceit won't show. You can only hide your dislike/displeasure for someone for so long. See humans in general, we have an innate sense of telling when someone is not into us or when there is a problem so why is it different in a relationship? Is it because we are liked initially and then disliked so we fail to tell the difference? No! Many women have their heads in the clouds in relationships, they fail to see the reality of what could happen or what could be happening and instead turn a blind eye. They fail to be calculative, they fail to see that anything could happen and they fail to acknowledge the signs, this is why you always hear the phrase, "I cannot believe he did this to me. " or people saying "he just woke up one day and decided he didn't want anymore."

No, a man won't just wake up from bed one day and decide to go get married on a trip to naija. He could still act like he loves the woman but it's a gradual process that leads up to that day and there will be telltale signs of such deceit unless of course she turns a blind eye. Don't be naive my dear, if a man doesn't love you anymore you would know, just that you did find it hard to believe he doesn't. We rather believe what he says than listen to the feeling deep down.
The hints are always there, it is up to you to decide whether to actually see them as they are or continue pretending that they aren't a cause for concern.

rokiatu:
good advice.....and the last part is her saying as well. That's was my advice as well, go back home and fight this battle, and beside if his plan all along is to drop her after getting his papers, let him not hang the reasons on her mom the way I see the whole thing, I think k he's just looking for a pity reason to leave, if I was her this wouldn't be that reason. The truth will come out one way or the other.

I agree, that's why it's difficult as I don't know how he treats her or behaves but you know her and I am certain she confides in you in everything. If he shows signs of wanting to leave, just advice her on that part because no need for her to waste her time on someone that wants to move on. It's only been 4years and seems she is a young woman, she too can move on and find something even better. You just need to be there to support her if she decides to let him walk. Eitherway, advice her to go home as then she would know exactly what the problem is.

He is playing "big boy" at the moment but depending on how much she knows Her husband and whether he actually feels the same for her, she could ride it out and when the hubby is ready to come down to earth, he will go get her. BUT, my worry is whether the guy does not give a shyt where the wife is as long as she is not in their home......I mean, if he has his papers now, he will probably be thinking he should spread his wings and fly with the way his acting towards the whole situation.


I recommend she goes back and leave mom and hubby to be for now as long as she and the children can go to the mum's house freely without him stopping them. I mean, she won't win this battle staying outside, she needs to do it inside her home because if she is not at home who will shuku shuku inside the man's ear for him to come to his senses? She has to build their relationship from her marital home but she also has to understand it is not by force to like someone, some people just do not click. The man too is being immature as he can still be cordial even if he doesn't like the mum. Shows he has no respect for your friend and her family.

it's hard sha, when we don't know exactly how the man behaves towards the wife.

I personally won't have any man disrespect my mother, no matter how much in love I am. If you cannot get along with my mother then you cannot be in my life...Just saying but since she is married with kids she has to think about the situation carefully.