₦airaland Forum

edwife:
Don't mind them if they no go chop 6-0 against man city...

missmalachi:
Good evening mama's, pls I need help ooooo.Edd is 28 but me dont feel any sign that LO hs package the bag for arrival oooo.
Me dont like over don food ooooo n I wish lo will just come dis week.
Pls aside kpekusing n taking a walk,what can I do to hasten labour.

#August class captain #

Lol...I remember you very well.

Proudmum is in the best position to advise you. She get experience for that level very well. Or maybe she has even passed her anointing to you sef

But seriously, just take your mind off it..your angel will come when it will

tearoses:
Kimoni well said, but who are the leaders?
Are they not you and I?
Many are even leaving the diaspora and going to Naija to become the so called leaders
What are they achieving?
They have all joined the “if you can’t beat then join them” wagon.

Personally I think it’s the other way
I blame the people
People are people first before they become leaders.

A relative stole from my sister
She sent the relative money and told her to take 75% of the amount and give 25% to someone else. She took all the money for herself.
All she had to do was ask. There was no need to steal.
She was not hungry
She just felt that she can take it.
And that is the mentality of many people. There is no sense of right and wrong
That’s not the leaders fault . . .that is an individual deficiency. If she becomes a leader, she will steal.
I can’t count the number of times I’ve asked someone to do something and they have inflated figures, pocketed the money and done a shoddy job. That’s not the leaders. That’s them.

Go back to the story of Segun Arinzes missing 50K
Read what some Nairalanders wrote and be shocked.
Many misbehave and blame poverty & the leaders
This is not the leaders . . . .this is the people.

We just like to act fast, but for the wrong reasons
Let’s invest that quality in things that really make a positive change.

I hear you ma'am but I'll still say it's from top to bottom and not the other way round. The questions is this - Were Nigerians like this several years ago? Was this our culture back then? I talk of my father as being a great man, Damiso says the same, you say the same. What has changed? My father loved Awo and several other leaders and made me read their books. Can I really ask my kids to read any book by Babangida, Abacha or any of these new generation rogues? No way. So what has changed?

Why does a typical Nigerian who throws thrash from his car while driving in Naija does not do the same in US? Driving one way in Naija was nothing odd in Lagos back in the days but who dares to try it now? Because there is now a system that metes out punishment to you if you do unlike before when you go scott-free.

Of course I see the weird comments on front page NL articles everyday but what system produced these crop of young minds? For a 3 year course in UK, do you know how long they take to complete the same course in Naija? Did you see pictures of some of their lecture halls and hostels? Not even fit for animal habitation. Yet, those are outer citadels of glory. Which type of output are we then expecting from these ones. Garbage in, garbage out. But yet, see how we still do well when we come to school abroad and get the condusive atmosphere?

We shouldn't underestimate the impact of the system on us as individuals. It shapes our thoughts and actions. Our leaders need to provide an enabling atmosphere for her citizens to thrive. Agree with you that we can't place it all on the doors steps of the government, but honestly, a large chunk of the work falls on their laps.

damiso:
Kimoni while I agree in part with this statement, its a deeper issue which the right wing press tend to exagerate one aspect of. For every single story of the somali immigrant with 12 children living in a 5 million pound house there are 10 who have been shipped to Bradford because they have been hit by Bedroom tax. And sometimes these are people in work but on min wage.We sha can't all be carrying brief case in London Bridge like tearoses said.I work with these people day in day out so I know.Not everyone is going to be rich/middle class. And even with all the drive we have in Nigeria not everyone will be rich or well to do or educated. It's just the fact.As much as we love education not every Nigerian living in Nigeria will go to university.


Do you know that a large chunk of working age benefits are actually claimed by people in work? The system is very skewed and even though I am not a fan of the David Cameron/George Osborne they are beginning to tackle some of the root causes e.g over the top childcare costs by giving more hours of free childcare to 3 and 4 year olds.

While I agree that there are those who abuse the system the media sometimes tells a single story. If I see one more 'benefits scrounger ish' based reality show on Channel 5 or Channel 4 I will scream.

Hahahhahahahaa, Damiso, if you scream at your TV from today till eternity, it won't hear you oo

I personally consider claims by the working class as BIK. It's just as extension of my pay. At least I am still adding value to the economy. Then whatever goes to the children is really an investment. No country can be faulted for that. South West Nigeria today can claim a large chunk of its development to the free education by Awo as the then Premier of Western Nigeria. I guess our classification is where the opinion differs.

But again, the leakages are quite significant. The loopholes are just too wide. Someone is paying for them right? Check out the articles below but don't scream pls

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3006248/More-100-000-benefits-claimants-UK-handed-100-week-assessed-unable-work-addiction-obesity-stress.html

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2319355/Workshy-map-Britain-revealed-Thousands-incapacity-benefit-claimants-capable-working.html

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/5663014/Family-claims-147000-a-year-in-housing-benefit-for-seven-bedroom-home.html

Chaircover, it's not about the person or the disgrace he/she is getting. Honestly, they really don't care about all that and they don't live for tomorrow anyways. But the issue is the effect on the economy and the individuals financing it. I believe part of why the average working British dislikes immigrants passionately is because of the belief that migrants have come to share out of what is rightfully theirs. Check out any pronouncement by Theresa May and the subsequent comments online. It's always a war btw indigenous British and naturalized migrants.

RoyalRoy:
[color=#000033] Hehehehe

This number must remain available till end of season o!!!

[/color]

pls help me tell Edwife ooo

All phone must be switched on with full network this season

#United4Ever

Sagamite:
Effing well said.

That is why I said above that our cultural web is ffed up.

See my signature.

That is why I would forever be attacking IBB, Abacha and the Cretin of Otuoke.

Hahahhhahahhahhaa

Pls allow me to steal that signature. All necessary payments will be made.

Sagamite:
Unfortunately, the so-called liberals are slowly ruining this great country.

Where is the Margaret Thatcher of today for God sake?

I am so sick of their politicians and media.

There is an eminent crises looming in the UK but the politicians are still in denial. You cannot continue to "forcefully" take from the productive sector to cater for the unproductive ones not because they cannot be productive but because they just don't want to productive. It is not a sustainable model. It has worked for so long but it can't continue. Everybody has to get down and dirty.

One of my neigbours with a kid once told me she will never work in her entire life. A very young lady oo. She didn't understand why she should work when the government can pay her nearly the same amount she would be getting from her pay (after deducting child care cost perhaps). While I agree with her maths, the mentality is totally messed up. Millions of people who add no value to the economy yet they shop in places where you will think twice before entering. No wonder we have thousands of migrants dying in the seas every day coming for a share of this UK benefit free gold they have heard so much about.

I would have proactively addressed all the points tearoses, Damiso and Saga raised but I feared the post would be too long.

Now coming to that drive which we all agree it's negatively skewed.

The only reason why the Naija drive is skewed negatively is leadership. And of course you know thats a whole big subject of its own. Since the Babangida regime, we have been blessed with the wrong set of leaders. When the top is bad, it automatically trickles down to roots. It can't be helped. Nigerians were not like this during the days of Awo, Balewa, Zik and co. Those guys genuinely wanted to make a difference and same applied to her citizens then. But from the Babangida regime who legalized corruption, the nation as a whole has continued to plunge downwards. And the top cannot be bad while the body remains okay. Not possible.

Gone are the days when we question ill-gotten wealth, instead we now celebrate robbers, mediocres, corrupt politicians; there is not one rich man in Naija today who has not looted directly or indirectly from the treasury. And the bug has caught every sector. Saga, this is why those sectors you talked about are like that. The potentials within are enormous but mining them correctly is the problem. In a country where we celebrate thieves, what happens to the natural drive of the common man? He will also subconsciously tailor his drive towards getting his reward quicker and through the back door. The common man tunes on its radio every morning to listen to naija news. What does he hear? N20 billion missing in NNPC, $50m dollars subsidy fund missing, $90b dollars found in Abacha's Swiss account. Then the next day, he reads that the NNPC boss is now a governor, the guy in charge of subsidy funds is now a minister, Abacha's son is contesting for his state governorship election, Alamesigha is now a senator . Jefferson in the U.S. is still facing corruption charges, his accomplice in Nigeria was a presidential aspirant some month ago People, where do you think the drive of citizens in this type of state will be geared towards? When people have been told that stealing is not corruption, what do we expect?

However, I know Nigerians to be very dynamic. We are perfect in flexibility and adaptability. There was a time Lagosians used to throw their trash in street gutters, there was a time we didn't know meaning of seat belts, there was a time we thought pedestrian bridges were meant for environmental beautification, there was a time Oshodi Isale was a no-go area; who would one day believe that Lagos will be called "beautiful". What am I saying - it has to start from the top. When the top gets it right, the citizens will also fall in line. What you see in us anyday is only a reflection of what our leaders are.

If there were no cameras in the developed world, would we still have the level of compliance that we have with traffic lights? If people felt they could steal and still end up being celebrated, won't they steal? Even as developed as they are?

Personally, I still believe in "project Nigeria". We have the potential energy, we only need that little push to ignite and make it go kinetic. Hopefully, Buhari does that for us. I will rather have a people with misplaced drive than have one with no drive at all. Controversial statement, innit?

tearoses:
Which brings me to another question
Is there something in our genes that makes us love money that much and the need to aim higher and higher just to be able to flex
My oyibo postman is happy as larry. Whistling away and always stopping for a chat.
Same with some checkout staff at ASDA
They seem very content . . . and happy too
while the average Naija is burning the midnight oil aquiring degrees at age 50 still trying to get his/her foot in the door.
Why?
. . and then many make the money and are rich in the bank but are poor in other areas.
Apart from flying business class, driving a RR and a 60 inch TV in their bedroom what exactly do they do with the money?
When was the last time they went on a picnic, took a canal walk, baked at a macmillan cake morning or took their kids to the museum?

Lol@ bolded - that list is not complete naa until you add planting of roses

I think Nigerians are competitive in nature and somehow, it has become an adopted trait in us. I read that link Saga pasted on how minorities ethnic groups are outscoring British nationals and the last two comments on that page captures my thoughts perfectly.

As Nigerians, we are so populated that for every single benefit, thousands of people have to compete and outsmart each other to get qualified for it. A good example is the thousands of people that write Jamb every year fighting for limited places in the unis. Same with vacancies of any kind, there are so many people out there that you just have to distinguish yourself somehow.

But asides this, I think Nigerians just love being the best in whatever field they find themselves. Once we put our mind to anything, the world will know a certain group of people has joined the show. Take our musicians and maybe nollywood - those guys have conquered Africa and quietly entering the world stage in just a short time. On the other side, immediately Nigerians entered the 419 and corruption market, we overtook all the slow coaches on the way

I once had to go to Ghana for a course, and I was chatting with the hotel staffs, they told me how easy it was to identify Nigerians in Ghana. I asked them how since we were both dark-skinned. They said Nigerians were quick, smart and always go for the best things in their country. At the bus stop, when a man is already running towards oncoming buses in order to get in first instead of waiting for the bus to stop, then know he/she is definitely a Nigerian There was a national project in Ghana that needed a consortium of banks to finance. Their FG invited all the indigenous banks to indicate the exact amount each was willing to finance. As they were rounding up negotiations, a Nigerian bank who was not initially invited heard of it, offered to take out all the other banks and singlehandedly finance the project, and still came with unmatchable rates everybody was perplexed. Nobody could understand why the bank was willing to take a hit for that level of risk. It wasn't only unnecessary, it made no credit/ business sense whatsoever. When I heard these two examples, I laughed loud knowing that truly, those were our traits; but love it or fault it, it is a recipe for greatness. That mentality just needs a bit of fine-tuning.

And so the average Nigerian is never going to be like the modern average British. Our motivations are mountains apart. They don't need to save for anything, the govt takes care of all that when the time comes. While they live for the present with no worries for the future, Nigerians live for the past, present and the future But as much as I think it's okay to be contented in life, one also needs some measure of drive in life. The average British man is too docile for my liking. On the long run, no nation can succeed with citizens like that. Still on that link that Saga posted, I saw where a guy said young indigenous British Phd holders are going into extinction. This same "Great Britain" of yesteryearsthar produced the Alan Turings and Isaac Newtons of this world And yes, I can testify to this scarcity to in my present academic environment.

Nigeria has been classified as an emerging power (MINT) along with some other countries like Mexico and Indonesia. Then check out the BRICS with India and China; it's that same drive, that unending desire to conquer that is propelling these countries. That's why these countries continue to ascend the ladder while countries like "Great UK" continues its descent I hope I didn't say that too loud o

blank:
Why the impersonation?

impersonation of the highest order

Oh Lord My prayers are with you and Light. God will keep her alive and well; and her light shinning always.

tearoses:
Just to add another dimension to the discussion . . why do we work?
Money? fulfiment? recogniton?
What is considered the glass ceiling? Is it measured by wage, job title, number of subordinates? What are peoples individual goals? . . . . .

Sagamite I think touched on lower level jobs being easier to get into for black people. If you are lucky and able to negotiate, that lower entry job may actually be better for you than senior management depending on your goals.

Moving to self employment. I know a lady who decorates events. She charges approx £5k per event and she can do 2 on a Saturday. I have a friend who charged N1500 yesterday for 200 cocktails, fruit tree and a chocolate fountain hire. She had 2 events this weekend. I dont know how much she charged for the other.

To suceed, depends on finding a gap, being sensible, Knowing your strengths, working hard but most importantly the Grace of God.

And trust tearoses to bring the "Iyalaje" angle to it all...

babygirlfl:
Now this is getting ridiculous. Likes is the last thing that will make me lose it in nairaland. Nothing makes me lose it here.You know why, people will like rubbish as long as they are on the persons side. And the easiest way to get a like in this section is to write rubbish against feminists. Really, Insult to your person? If you really want to know what insult is, go back to your posts. I started the discussion because I thought we could have a mature discussion but you quickly turned it into a fight. I honestly did not start it to cause any fights.

Please stop bringing people into this discussion. If you were accommodating of peoples view, it would show in our discussion. You were the one who kept insulting a group of people. I get along with many people who share different view to mine in this section. I have been in nairaland for a while and have not had to go into an insult fest with people. That's what it means to be accommodating and disciplined. I have had to ignore insults just so I don't get into an insult fest. Don't give what you cannot take. Just so you know, the truth is you are intolerant of other peoples view. So please stop thinking you actually do and playing the victim like you all always do.

This is getting more hilarious Babygirl. Playing the victims like I always do?

I can't even remember having a single fight with anyone ever in this family section. I repeat never ever.

So pray tell, where are those instances where I played the victim?? And pls for once, answer this question. I am really pleading. Point it out to me or better still, paste those threads here. As many as you can remember.

remsonik:
Your daughter is a bastard since you are not married to her father. [b]Its not derogatory or harsh [/b]that's just the word for it.

Aunty, it is not just derogatory and harsh to call someone's daughter a bastard, it is both barbaric and archaic. Since you lot are all about dictionary definitions, below is an excerpt from a standard dictionary.

I am not sure how many of you will dare to physically walk up to any parent and call their children bastards because that's what the dictionary says. But online, all goes...smh



bastard

ˈbɑːstəd,ˈbast-/
noun

1.
archaic, derogatory
a person born of parents not married to each other.
synonyms: illegitimate child, child born out of wedlock; More

2.
informal
an unpleasant or despicable person.
"he lied to me, the bastard!"
synonyms: scoundrel, villain, rogue, rascal, brute, animal, weasel, snake, monster, ogre, wretch, devil, good-for-nothing, reprobate, wrongdoer, evil-doer; More

babygirlfl:
Your opinion was not actually an unbiased one. It was a very biased one. It was a combination of all the things you have read people write about feminists on Nairaland. Anyone who read your submissions with an open mind would see that all you wrote is what non feminists keep echoing in this section. There was really nothing new. The way you were bringing out things that was not part of the discussion made it look like you were writing what you thought people wanted to read yet you never addressed any of the issues raised. At some point it actually looked like you were writing for likes.

Please Kimoni, let's end the discussion or aguement here.

You finally spilled it.

Is this why you kept getting worked up? Because the likes were making you lose it? Do you realise I was replying from my mentions? You are in an open debate and you are counting likes?? Do you realise it's insulting to my person to say I was writing for likes? Who started the discussion? You or me?

Now you say it's an unbiased opinion? Will you also be the judge of what goes on in my heart? If something is not pleasant to you, it has to be an unbiased opinion??

Let me tell you something today.

One of my most respected nairalanders today is Kanwulia (I have never mentioned this nor shown it anywhere). But you know what is funny, she dislikes my tribe and she hates my faith with a passion. But yet, that has never blinded me from seeing the intelligence and comedy in her posts because I am able to compartmentalize my reading and thinking. I am able to distill whatever she writes and still see the message in it. And guess what, you will never see me jump in on her because she has desecrated my faith and I want to be seen by all as defending my it. And if you saw it, Jaybee told her exactly the same thing a while back, almost like he was reading my mind.

Again, she said something a while back - is NL for agreement of opinion?

What am I saying here Babygirl, I don't get worked up over people who share a different orientation from me. And if peradventure, one day, I decide to engage Kanwulia in a Christian debate, I would be more than ready to read whatever she has to say even when I know it won't be pleasing to me. But truly, I realise it takes a lot of discipline and maturity to get to this stage.

ayyoshert:
Deepon? Nice one
What language is that.

Maybe Ijebu...lol

This man never quench ??

Edwife, I fit mock you? Mee But seriously, wat happened to the bus?

See Naijababe ooo, you sef see say he dey sweet

Anyways, my customized ManU jersey offer is still intact. Edwife, I gat one limited edition for you too

#foreverUnited

babygirlfl:
Its always nice to smile. It does not cost a thing. Good day.

Hope you now understand why politicians will rather keep praisemongers, an unbiased opinion is never easy on the ears.

babygirlfl:
One minute we can go by definition, the next minute we cant.





To be honest you are not sticking to the topic. You have not answered any question instead you keep bringing in things into the discussion.




The armed robber the other day on nairaland said he is a Christian. The prostitute on one other thread said she was a Christian. The Aristo chick in University calls herself a Christian. Going by your logic, you preach robbery, prostitution and fornication with a married man because the all call themselves Christians and you are a Christian. This people picked a cause and are all for it. Have you disowned them?

Please get it right. I am not in any way trying to make you believe in feminism. It is usually non feminists that keep pushing and bullying feminists into dropping the movement. You people keep calling feminists in things that has nothing to do with them. I can bet you that if you don't call feminists they will not call you into things. You give what you cannot take. In this argument you have continuously spoken about feminists in a derogatory way yet you expect to talked to in a nice way. There is nothing that you have accused feminists of that you have not shown in your posts.




This has been talked about several times in this section so I am not going into this.



If you want to address me then address me and leave bukatyne out of this or answer her where she quoted you. I thought you just said you stick to a subject. You are reading a different meaning to what I wrote. Maybe you should go back and read again.

I promised not to post again here on this subject but I can't remember promising not to smile.

Chelsea

My dear Edwife

ayyoshert:
Beans and Corn
A.K.A Adalu
A.K.A Sokundale
A.K.A Lamuluke
A.K.A Moki.

A.K.A Deepon

My late pop's best meal. I've not had it in years

I no miss am this time God bless you lil'proudy

babygirlfl:
I am not arguing with you. I believe we are having a discussion.

Pls can you recheck all the definitions of "argument" and reconfirm if what we are having does not qualify.

I asked what you think feminists preach and you said you honestly don't know then write an epistle about what you think they preach. When you talk of feminists thread, how many of them where actually opened be feminists or had feminism in the topic? It is always a case of feminism being dragged into everything.

Sisi, no need to get worked up over my post. I already called what I type an epistle, thanks for reminding me what it is again, meanwhile na you ask me queshion oo. It's veering into a typical argument already. Anyways, I didn't write an epistle over "what I think they preach". I wrote an epistle over my observed characteristics of NL feminists and the last paragraph was about my personal experiences offline. Where in my post did I write about what you preach??

I would like to start by asking you some questions.

Is it only feminists that insult people on this forum?

Is it only feminists that tarnish people's image in this forum?

Is it only feminists that are intolerant to other women?

Is it only feminists that have insulted Omotola?

All the things you have mentioned are not exclusive to feminists. Some women who say they are not feminists can be very abusive. Some of them dig out posts and use it against you to tarnish your image.Some will support men who call feminists names while some will laugh at feminists. Tell me if these behaviours are from someone who is tolerant. What I am trying to say is that it goes both ways but it seems it only becomes a problem when it's a feminist doing it and not when a non feminists is doing it. Omotola has been attacked by non feminists too. In short in one thread, it was the feminists that was on her side. Chimamanda is always attacked and insulted by non- feminists. The insult Omotola received is nothing close to what Chimamanda gets on a daily basis. You picked Omotola's case but not chimamanda's because you agree with Omotola and not necessarily because she got it worse than Chimamanda.

Many non feminists also can't understand how a feminists can get married and stay married. Some will tell you that you will remain a spinster if you are not married or that you will soon be divorced if married while some will keep doubting that you are married because they can't put their head around the fact that they are many feminists who are married, have stayed married and is happily married. One even keeps saying that there is no happily married feminists.

Let's go back to your initial question to me - was it about non-feminist or about feminist?? In every argument, I've learnt to stick to the subject matter, else it becomes scattered and comes to an illogical end.

When did feminism become about free the tip. Feminists where not disowning anybody. They were refusing to be dragged into what has nothing to do with what they stand for.

But "free the tip" call themselves feminist?? Didn't you know? If men can walk around bare chested, they want to be able to do same. Infact, their message is very straightforward and easy to grasp. They picked a particular cause and they are all out for it. Then you say they are disowning their body?? But has it occurred to you that the way you find it difficult to accept them even when their message is clear is the way some women like me find it difficult to understand NL feminists who do not even have a clear message?

What is equal about 2 people getting married and the male family is accepting bride price for the female partner?
What is equal in 2 people getting married and one party is dropping her name to adopt the other party's name?
What is equal in 2 people getting married and having kids; yet, all the kids adopt only one person's name?
And the list goes on and on.

How can someone practise the above and come online to say she doesn't see why I don't understand feminism?

Nigeria is a country where most people say one thing and do another. Many women will do everything a feminists believes in and still say she is not a feminist. So it is not surprising that most of your great achiever women will not attribute it to feminism. Also a movement cannot be a secret to success and feminists have never claimed to be a secret to success. Rather it fights for the right for you to achieve what you want to even though you are a woman.

Every country has people who say one thing and do the other and it's called hypocrisy. It's not peculiar to Nigerians.

The bolded is one of the things I also find funny and irritating(for lack of a better word) with feminist and that's what Bukatyne believed she was pointing to me. Why you want to have exclusive rights to behaviours that you think align with your beliefs beats me. Because I believe that a woman should not limit herself in whatever field she finds herself but do not consider myself a non-feminist is hypocrisy to you Like seriously? All my ( now they are my achievers baa, cuz they are not feminists??) women achievers are hypocrites because their beliefs align with feminism but they still go ahead to call themselves non-feminist? Sisi, isn't that laughable? Be honest.

After reading your posts, it is clear that feminism is not the problem rather it is the definition and what you believe it to be that is the problem. Why did you decide to leave the meaning of something and judge it by your own definition?

Whatever the problem is, only you will know. I honestly don't know. Every problem or challenge I face in my real world, I know how to handle. Whatever problem anybody has with definitions, beliefs, movement is really left to them.



OP - my apologies on this post on feminism again. It's my last on your thread.

salsera:
Haha
Me nko?
A 'whole' birthday mate

Salseraaaaaa wetin naa okay don't worry, we'll go together. Just start packing

bellong:
@Kimoni,

Read your "epistle".

A one week vacation to The Bahamas on me for that succinct and honest submission.

Yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Here I come Bahamas Bellong, I am listing all these your promises o, I dey come very soon


Eddy, thanks

suzzy16:
hello dear,my 1year,6month baby touches d back of his gum everytime,when he does dat,he cry instantly and stopped,I noticed d gum is swollen,which I suspect teething,and I gave him paracetamol to stop d pain,bt [b]wats making me to doubt is dat,I do give him bobo,viju milk and do buy lolli pop sweets for him,can it be d sugary things dat cause him to be feeling pains there in his gum,[/b]should I stop giving him sweet things,pls help me out dear,tanx

Plssssssss stop giving him these stuffs. I would also have suspected teething but teething usually doesn't accompany swollen gums or constant crying except that period when the teeth is about to burst out and that's not even in all cases.

I would advise that you take him for treatment and pls stop the the sugary things. It's bad enough for adults who already have full set of teeth how much more infants who are just about to start.

bukatyne:
I honestly don't know what anti-feminists (people who do not believe men and women are equal) think about that subject matter however Timbuk2 is the closest to it.

I have only seen one or two female posters whose posts reflect the men and women are not equal thingy. The rest?

The basics of feminisn is online. What others decide to build on it is none of my business

That definition, Bukatyne is a figment of your imagination. You can't define anti-feminism when the root word remains undefined. The day you stop discriminating against and start practicing "free the tips" and "free blood flow", then we can truly start defining anti-feminism

babygirlfl:
Kimoni dear, what do you think feminists preach?

I hate to get into these feminist arguments especially with females and Bukatyne knows that, not sure why she is drawing me into it.

Anyways, my honest answer - I don't know. I honestly don't know what you'all preach.

I see a lot of scattered arguments on feminist threads ending in swearings and curses. Then I see a lot of women who are very intolerant of other women who do not believe in the movement. Omotola once gave an interview declaring that she was not a feminist and how much she revered her husband and home. The abuses, insults, curses, image tarnishing she got on that thread from feminist was very appalling and honestly, I was very disappointed and if I had been having some doubts about the movement, that sealed it. I had to ask myself if the movement was some form of cult.

Since then, I have seen women, mostly singles and a few newly-weds who cannot understand why any woman will not be a feminist because according to them, they have come to liberate women from their controlling husbands. It doesn't matter if you say you are enjoying your marriage or you have spent years making a success of the marriage; to them, you need need the feminist deliverance as long as you believe in submission or headship. Duh

Strangely enough, I get amazed when NL feminist disown people I consider to be true feminists - ie people who want to be free to do anything a man can do. Eg the free the tips. Those are the ones who don't want to cherry pick. If men can bare their chest, they also want to. Isnt hindering them gender discrimination? So why do NL feminist think they have mental issues?

Strangely, I don't even know any feminist in real life, yet I am previledged to know a lot of women achievers offline. The first woman chemical engineer in Nigeria is someone I am previledged to listen and learn from, same with 3 female bank CEOs that I get mentoring from, and countless female executives. I have heard severally from these women, asked them enough questions , not once did I hear about this movement as being one of their success secrets. These are women that when you visit at home, you won't believe it's the same people you know in the office. In their respective homes, equality is a taboo.

Let me copy Damiso's trademark ending words to say, I didn't want to write an epistle o, but somehow, I have ended up writing one. Biko, no vex

edwife:
I always thought that you were a feminist.

after you ma'am

bukatyne:
Interesting

And you do not believe men and women are equal?

That's one of the points anyways.

Are you kidding Bukatyne? so you think it's only feminist that believe that a woman can be whatever she wants to be? I laugh in Swahili

Is that what you guys even preach? then I have never heard it.