₦airaland Forum

Rozross:
Men are no longer interested in marriage generally because they are already getting marriage benefits from single ladies doing wifely duties, so it has killed their zeal and interest in marriage. It’s not about money for modern men, it’s mostly about freedom and fear of commitment. The greatest fear of a promiscuous man is commitment and almost all modern young men are promiscuous hence their lack of interest in marriage

The bolded is simply not true. Most men in this generation are virtually sexless. The idea according to which men go from women to women is not rooted in reality. Most guys do not even have the opportunity to be promiscuous. Most women like yourself believe that almost all men are promiscuous because the only valuable men in their eyes are promiscuous men while the others are invisible / not that important.

pansophist:
Come, you be man or woman sef?

See as you stylishly heap all the blame on men, but wait o, men are not the only guilty ones here, all of us na sinners. Abi you want make i start to list women's sins?

But the rule is simple. Because others don't mean well to you, doesn't mean you should not mean well to yourself. For example, there are millions of women out there that will show Dangote fake love, but it is left to him to donate himself to these women for maximum butchery.

The same applies to women. There is a reason why ''close your leg'' is drummed into women's head, and it's because women are the gatekeepers of sex. A woman decides if sex will happen, and no matter how men try to get into her pants, her verdict is final, otherwise, it would be rape, which is punishable by law.

So it is he who has something of value to lose, also has the responsibility to safeguard it. If a man allows a golddigger to embezzle his money, its his fault, and if a woman allows a forkboy to ransack her honeypot, it's her fault. got it? Yes men may come and test your resolve, but its her responsibility to padlock her pant.

At least learn from ashawos. No money, no nacking. So for normal girls, it should be, no marriage, no nacking. I repeat, women hold the power for sex to happen. So the idea that every relationship must lead to marriage would be less painful after a breakup if a woman only loose her virginity inside the marriage. Life no hard, people no just de do things the right way.

I fully understand this. As explained in the red pill forum and even by you on previous posts, women are the gatekeepers of sex which makes them bear the principal responsibility of the consequences of sex.
But here, I was focusing on the man's side of the equation, not the equation as a whole because the OP asked if it makes sense for men to go on dates. And I was questioning the very reason why most men go on dates thereby questioning if they should even go on dates at all.

A woman who understood it.

You know what? I will stop saying "a woman who understood it." I believe that most, if not all of them, understand it. They know very well that marrying a virgin guarantees the best marriage. But they want to have their fun and to make it appear good they gaslight men with things like
- "we are in the 21st century"
- "my body my choice"
- "men do it too"
- "patriarchy"
- "I have to find myself first"
- "I'm too young to think about marriage"
- ...
Unfortunately men believe this BS and start arguing with women, going back and forth trying to explain to them what's best for them. Men, these women aren't that stupid (I hope) and they are laughing at you. They say BS like that and hope that men fall in the trap. Masculinity is detecting these senseless arguments and not entertaining them.
That is why men are better off not debating with women especially when their points are clearly out of touch with reality, and logic.
Save your energy.

pansophist:
A man should set the structure.

Go out in a park, and if she refuses, better. Or else you just postpone the breakup later when you've invested a bit. No de do pass yourself. Dates are for compatibility, not to impress the other with money, like Sarkodie who likes shouting ''you know say money no be problem''. That's disastrous precedence.

usually, I do the opposite of what most men do, meaning that my spending is progressive, so the longer we know each other, the more likely you can chop my money, but never at the first moment. If you strategize yourself in this manner, you will sieve out the ones that interpret huge spending with a good date.

And like crackhaus said, you must go out with women who have chosen you only. No matter how I like a woman and my preek stand like a gun at the mere sight of her presence, I will never push ahead if it is not mutual. Never. Never convince anybody to like you, because you can't and it is a dead end. You go just suffer for nothing.

Dear pansophist, why even date when you don't intend to marry the woman or, at least, get into a very long term relationship? Most men just want the sex and since they can't go to the woman and say "Hey! I want to screw you from the back", he comprises and says the same thing in a different way: "Hey! would you like to go out with me?", "Hey! You are very beautiful, I would like to know you better", "Hey, can I have your number?" "Hey! Can I take you on a date."
That's a reason why many men cheat and are unhappy in their relationship: They didn't want the relationship to start with.

Mycashproof:
I am still a broke student at 24 years with no single source of income. Is this normal?

I don't think you should consider yourself with what's normal, as normal does not always go with good.
You know your situation is not the best, right? Start building yourself today.

Prospertochu:
Is 4 or 5 years too late to start school? I am asking because my triplets will be 3 years next month I have no plan for all three to start school yet because I am not financially stable i can only afford for one which will not be fair on the other two. I will keep them at home until they are 4 or 5 years. I hope it will not affected them when they start school at 4 or 5 years also what is the best way to teach them at home any books reccomandation and prices please??

You can teach them to speak and write. If they already know how to speak english, help them build their writing skills. Give them grammar quizzes, little essays to do (e.g. describe your home, describe your friend, what is your favorite anime,... ) Please, make them write consistently. You can give them weekly essays to do. e.g. Today, you describe your mom in two paragraphs, tomorrow you describe our house, next you talk about the food you like. This enhances the kids thinking skills and builds their capacity to express theirselves which are very important in society. You don't need to teach the class contents to your kids, they'll get that in school. Instead focus on their mental ability: thinking and communication skills.

JESHAL:
If you don't have your vision a woman will give you her vision, if you don't have your timeline a woman will give you her timeline.

This one is deep and real.

KanwuliaExtra:
Because men become insecure with aggressively successful women!

Especially BLACK MEN!

This is not true. And I think deep down you know it. Most men would not have any problem dealing with rich women if their masculinity is preserved. But most importantly, it is rich women who intentionally avoid average men. Females like to portray the situation as if it is the man that avoids these women while it is very much the contrary. These women just don't want the men who want them. Take these rich women who complain about not having a man and check their inbox. You'll see that if they are single, it's because they choose to.
But you already know all this. But since you live off of attention, you had to make this thoughtless comment in the hope that it triggers some males.
Men are better off guarding their attention firmly.

I would like to thank Caps, Martinez, Ubunja, Khayceeofficial, Someone's child, and the others for the last few pages. They were very insightful and instructive.
Every man in the world must read this forum.

MJBOLT:

There's no need multiplying this one
https://www.instagram.com/reel/CicIl5VJb-w/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

Her case is special like most pornstars. She lost her virginity at 12, that's not normal.

HarlequinLekex:
Kipaji,a university lecturer telling u,A is for God,B is for him/her,C is for the brilliant student,this apply to 80% of ng pub unis,no matter how we try to improve this things with ourself[the masses] if the government don't play their part of the game well,nothing will be achieved.But if those at the government helm affairs play their part and we the masses support them,great things will be achieved.Imagine FG taking ASUU to court to stop strike,some saying ASUU are fighting for their pockets,while others say Fg is not meeting their demands,ave u ever heard where nigeria senators strike b4.a lot of things is wrong with this country named Nigeria by one lady at the age of 26 or so.only God can mend nigeria

Thanks for the reply. The issue is multidimensional indeed. I did not quite understand everything since I'm not Nigerian but I get the gist of the problem since we are all in central Africa.
I'm from Cameroon and the anglophone crisis/war that we have in the Northwest and Southwest region started with rightful revendications of anglophone teachers (and other people too).

FullBlastLight:
Is dressing like these actually wrong for this profession?

Or, is it just the way individuals view it based on their own moral constructs?

See Photos Below:

No, it is neither correct nor appropriate. These women are not kids. They know very well what effect their dressing have on men, especially young testosterone- filled adolescent at the pick of their puberty who already have a hard time controlling their great urges.
This is sexual aggression on boys, if you ask me.

HarlequinLekex:
If u ask naija students of nowadays who want to be a teacher,no response,it is because they are not valued in this region of the globe,a meagre paid teaching job in naija is not something to take on as a job in nigeria,we have teachers who are financially stabilized even within their first 5 years of teaching,when you are not valued doing sth,value yourself by stop doing sth you are not valued for.

However in countries such as Finland and South Korea where teachers are highly respected and cautiously chosen, teaching is seen as an admirable career. What can we do in Africa to make teaching inspiring and impactful?

CAPSLOCKED:
ONE OF MY FAVORITE RAPPERS, PNB ROCK, HAS DIED. HE WAS 30. HIS MUSIC WAS PERSONAL TO ME BECAUSE IT HELPED ME GET THROUGH CERTAIN THINGS WHEN I WAS IN MY EARLY 20S, AND I'LL FOREVER BE GRATEFUL TO THE MAN.

YESTERDAY, HIS GIRLFRIEND POSTED THEIR LOCATION ON SOCIAL MEDIA & MANY BELIEVE THAT’S HOW THE ROBBERS THAT KILLED HIM OVER PENNIES KNEW WHERE THEY WERE LOCATED.

THE GIRL'S ALIVE AND UNSCATHED BUT MY MAN'S DEAD. YOU SEE THOSE GIRLS THAT BREATHE AND LIVE FOR SOCIAL MEDIA ATTENTION AND VALIDATION? THIS IS ONE MORE REMAINDER THAT YOU SHOULDN'T MAKE THEM YOUR BUSINESS BECAUSE YOUR BUSINESS AUTOMATICALLY BECOMES PUBLIC IF YOU DO.

THEY USUALLY HAVE VERY LITTLE TO LOSE BECAUSE, WHAT DO THEY EVER WORTH? IT IS YOU THE MAN THAT HAS HUSTLED YOUR ENTIRE LIFE AND HAS MANAGED TO BUILD FAME/FORTUNE THAT WILL CONTINUE TO PAY FOR WOMEN'S MISDOINGS UNTIL YOU LEARN TO PLAY SMART. TRUST THEIR JUDGEMENT AND ABILITIES LIKE YOU'D TRUST A 5 YEAR-OLD CHILD'S.

Great lesson.

[{}]

Even mom recognizes it.

pansophist:
1. Life is a race, and the earlier you start to run, the better. As you grow older, time will begin to go fast, and you'll regret the chances you didn't take.

2. The role of superheros that your parents played to see you through childhood, you'll have to pay it back as they grow older and weaker. Either financially, physically, or both. Don't disappoint.

3. If you're Nigerian, or from a third world country, its like been born with a handcuff. You'll have to depends on your ingenuity and call forth the strength in you to break free.

4. Pay the price for who you are. Defend your truth. Keep to your word. Refuse to be a victim, and never tolerate disrespect. That's how your establish and validate yourself in the world.

5. If you enter any relationship/friendship with a mentality to give, instead of receive, you'll never lack quality people and love. It is more blessed to give, its true.

6. Live by the golden rule, which is to "treat others how you want them to treat you". If everyone practice this rule, the world will be a better place.

7. My definition of a good person is someone who is very dangerous but kept it in voluntary control. If you're weak and a pushover, you're not a good person, you're a coward. To live with dignity, you must have the means to punish trespassers.

8. Make peace with your family, they are your fortress to land and launch back into the cruel world. A person without a loving family support have no advantage to someone with a strong family, all things equal.

9. Money is just a tool to reach your goal to fulfilment, so don't confuse being rich with being wealthy. Life is lived immaterially. If you're rich and obese, rich and your family suffers, rich and lack manners, you're poor in my book.

10. You have to be eligible to love someone, and the proof of your eligibility is your virtue. To love someone is a call to excellence, and if you don't understand love this way, you'll suffer unnecessarily.

Thank you very much pansophist.

Value who you are and what you contribute.

Agelastus:

Interesting story

About objectification...

#Empowerment
#FightThePatriarchy
#GirlPower

Respect yourself.

...

Life was so unfair to women.
#FightThePatriarchy

Appreciate your father.

Guys, please, let's respect ourselves and not entertain this woman.
You read her post, you found it was B.S., now please just let it go.
Let's not give her unnecessary attention or worse, go back and forth with her.
She can believe whatever B.S. makes her feel good but we are higher than that.
Now, please let this post be the last one on this thread and move on with our life.

(If you are a man and you wrote a post here, please, just click "Modify" and replace it with a single point "." That is the second greatest reaction to this post -- the greatest one is simply not replying and ignoring)

Us men must win and it starts with focusing on the right things and ignoring attention-seeking degenerates, especially if they are female and online.

Have a good day, men!

Rema14:
Gone are the days you'll just walk up to a girl and she would be shy and you'll be toasting small small till she accepts you but now if you walk up to a girl its you that will be shy.
so what happened why is it hard to find love or stay in a relationship?

No. On this point men are in the wrong.
You say "you'll just walk up to a girl and she would be shy ... until she accepts you". Let's be honest. Why did you approach her in the first place? Was it because you love her? Was it because you intended to have a strong long term relationship with her? Or was it because you wanted to hit it from the back as she relentlessly shouts your name?
You can't accuse the girl when all (or almost all) you wanted was just break her back.

Then you say that "if you walk up to a girl its you that will be shy"... Well, the problem here is you not her. Men should stop blaming and bashing women like that. It doesn't honor us, it destroys us.

Finally about your topic "why is it hard to find love"... Why do you want to find love? I would invite you to sit down and think deep why you want to find true love now. (Especially love from a girl you just met in town). Men want love from women and it distracts them from the most important things in this world. (On a side note, you should know by now that 95% of women are unable to love men, at least not as much as men loves them back.)

Please men, calibrate your mind on things higher than sex and women.

EzegeNdiigbo:
Is not longer a new thing to me that 99% of members in Nairaland are male,you can't come here saying you want to find the "ONE" but you will only finds "BALL'S"
A thread was created yesterday which now made it to FP asking ladies if they would marry a guy that will not ask them of sex till marriage, instead of the thread to be bombarded by Ladies,No,its was the guys here that carry the question for head speaking out of point making it a bored one.

So when i talked we're all Male here don't argue with me because that a #FACT...


https://www.nairaland.com/7319109/ladies-date-guy-wont-ask

This is actually pretty sad. Your observation shows the sad and disappointing state of men these days.
Men please we deserve to treat ourselves better.

Calibrator:
Two can play.



This one wants to play hard to get with Mr Knackamura

Two can play, but they shouldn't. Men are better off not playing these games.

pillager:
Can you do CSS at least small styling, i know backend devs do not like CSS.

I know some CSS, I can help.

Melvin56:
Recently I observed the manner our ladies pose to take a picture
Why do they pose this way

Because they are just as sexually aggressive as men, if not more. Plus, they are more perverted.
For additional explanation, check this Ubunja's miseducation: "On scantily dressed woman" https://www.nairaland.com/5322841/ubunjas-miseducation-scantily-dressed-women

But I wish you the best.