₦airaland Forum

tell me u rely on she males to get their long things

yes! tampax.

anything wrong?

make i help u buy padlock?

not bad

all those kain big grammar wey u type for there so.

my only phobia na for ugly girls! chikena

A CAUCASIAN WOMAN:
First date: You get to kiss her goodnight.
Second date: You get to grope all over and make out.
Third date: You get to have sex but only in the missionary position.

IRISH WOMAN:
First Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.
Second Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.
20th Anniversary: You both get blind drunk and have sex.

ITALIAN WOMAN:
First Date: You take her to a play and an expensive restaurant.
Second Date: You meet her parents and her Mom makes spaghetti & meatballs.
Third Date: You have sex, she wants to marry you & insists on a 3 carat ring.
5th Anniversary: You already have 5 kids together & hate the thought of having sex.
6th Anniversary: You find yourself a girlfriend.

JEWISH WOMAN:
First Date: You get dynamite head.
Second Date: You get more great head.
Third Date: You tell her you'll marry her and never get head again.

POLISH WOMAN:
First Date: You go to pick her up, and she isn't home. She gave you the wrong address.
Second Date: You decide to meet at a restaurant. She gets lost getting to the restaurant and then again going home.
Third Date: She's pregnant. She's not sure if its hers.

CHINESE WOMAN:
First date: You get to buy her an expensive dinner but nothing happens.
Second date: You buy her an even more expensive dinner but nothing happens again.
Third date: You don't even get to the third date and you have already realized nothing is going to happen.

INDIAN WOMAN:
First date: Meet her parents.
Second date: Set the date of the wedding.
Third date: Wedding night.

BLACK WOMAN:
First Date: You get to buy her a real expensive dinner.
Second Date: You get to buy her and her 250 lbs girlfriend a real expensive dinner.
Third Date: You get to pay her rent.
Tenth Date: She's pregnant by someone other than you.

LATIN WOMAN:
First Date: You buy her an expensive dinner, get her drunk on Riunite, have sex in the back of her car.
Second Date: She is pregnant.
Third Date: Move in with her, her two illegal alien cousins, her sister's boyfriend and live happily ever after eating rice and beans in the Bronx.

YORUBA WOMAN:
First Date: Don't need to buy her expensive dinner, just tell her your address and you'll have made sex that night.
Second Date: She moves in and becomes your illegal wife. Sex becomes your breakfast, lunch and dinner
Third Date: She's Pregnant! She stays legal. Free sex all your life!

Igbo Woman:
First Date: Buy her an expensive dinner, send her diamond, and she'll only touch your privates! NO SEX!
Second Date: Buy her a car, give her a cheque of 1million naira and she'll kiss you. Still NO SEX!
Third Date: Don't be a fool! There's No third date. She's Gone!

Hausa Woman:
First Date: You go home to pick her up, and a table is already set for you. Don't Think about Sex!
Second Date: She comes to the restaurant with her aunt, introducing yu as the future hubby. You get a handshake! NO HUG! NO KISS, GOD FORBID IF YOU THINK ABOUT SEX.
Third Date: You are lying on a mat, with the girl's father tearing your a55 out! That's the wedding. After that comes plenty sex!
                     Tell me how u gon perform well with your swollen a55.

the sickness na after 9months u go well oh

tell her oh

it's called kronk-rod

u wan make tufe fall inside go see the former occupant?

with this kinda english, i bet you say even if u kip ur eyes open, na 24 ghost go visit you oh

if i carry my sins come your house, u no go get where to sleep oh

golden, check if u have ur head in your pants.

lol

she go fall sick oh

if u enter my dream, you go get belle before day break oh.

better stay out.

don;t crazy with tessy.

she may be intimidated by the size. prolly bigger than hers.

[size=4pt]if u can read this, then yu can see tessy's booobbbiiiiieeeesssss[/size]

An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, the last of which had left his bodily systems extremely upset. Upon making several false alarm trips to the bathroom, he figured that the latest episode was just that, so he stayed put. Suddenly, however, he filled his bed with diarrhea and was embarrassed beyond his ability to remain rational.

In a complete loss of composure, he jumped out of bed, gathered up the bed sheets, and threw them out the hospital window.

A drunk was walking by the hospital when the sheets landed on him.

The drunk started yelling, cursing, and swinging his arms violently, in an attempt to free himself of the sheets. He ended up with the soiled sheets in a tangled pile at his feet.

As the drunk stood there, staring down at the sheets, a hospital security guard who had witnessed the entire incident, walked up to him and asked, "What the heck is going on?"

The drunk, still staring down at the sheets, replied, "I think I just beat the shit out of a ghost."

if u want it that way~~i can play kool

check yaba left sidde dude.

there's plenty around there.

buhhahahahahaha

she gon be a hoe, if she wants plenty

Three guys are drinking in a bar when a drunk comes in, staggers up to them,
and points at the guy in the middle, shouting, "Your mom's the best sex in
town!"

Everyone expects a fight, but the guy ignores him, so the drunk wanders off
and bellies up to the bar at the far end.

Ten minutes later, the drunk comes back, points at the same guy, and says,
"I just did your mom, and it was sw-e-et!"

Again the guy refuses to take the bait, and the drunk goes back to the far
end of the bar.

Ten minutes later, he comes back and announces, "Your mom liked it!"

Finally the guy responds. "Go home, Dad, you're drunk!"

A drunk walks out of a bar with a key in his hand and he is stumbling back and forth.

A cop on the beat sees him and approaches "Can I help you sir?"

Realizing he is in trouble he quickly says,

Yessh! Ssssombody stole my car" the man replies.

The cop asks- "Where was your car the last time you saw it?"

It wasss at the end of thiss key" the man replies.

About that time, the cop looks down and sees the man's weiner is hanging out of his fly for all the world to see.

He asks the man "Sir are you aware that you are exposing yourself?"

Momentarily confused, the drunk looks down at his crotch and, without missing a beat, blurts out- "DAMN----- THEY GOT MY GIRLFRIEND,TOO!"

thanks folly

the idea of been black and naturally blonde beats me

thanks gurl

A man and his wife are awakened at 3 o'clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.

"Not a chance," says the husband, "it is 3 o'clock in the morning!"
He slams the door and returns to bed.

"Who was that?" asked his wife.

"Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers.

"Did you help him?" she asks.

"No, I did not, it is 3 in the morning and it is pouring out!"

"Well, you have a short memory," says his wife, "can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down and those two guys helped us?" "I think you should help him, and should be ashamed of yourself!"

The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain. He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"

"Yes," comes back the answer.

"Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband.

"Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark.

"Where are you?" asks the husband.

"Over here on the swing!" replies the drunk.












GOTTA LOVE DRUNKS

tufe get banana?

i think say na worm dey there!

not me man, my dick got the name of my girlfriend tatooed on it.

am gonna give her Womanliness blisters if i use it on her.

tell her to look elsewhere.

@ clem

abeg no kill me wit laffta

u never hear of mad man wey wan pray for anoda mad man, because im get faith pass the oda one