₦airaland Forum

the midnight crawling witch (winsh)

starring, patience ozoku, ituen greenback, pete migines, lolabbey orji, genevieve thuggy, omotola richdad e.t.c

. . . . . . . and dont break it

@ ituen

grandma has got loads of this in her head. she just figured out that there's just one that does the job better than the others, which is NAGGING!

@ LORUZ

mailing it to her will bring back ugly memories to her. she knows i got all the counter-attacks to all the moves.
don't make her hunt you down.

@segunpc

weird people? abeg tell saucekid to find naijagurly for you. she is one sweet weird psychic chic. you'll enjoy her.
that's guaranteed!

yaba left side no get space again oh

1997?

if i remember vividly, u just got into jss1 by then. cable?---- i don't think so, 1997, u were still calling it wire. so watz up bro?

hmmmmmm

wat a way to woo a girl, **** segun, i hope say lola no be the first girl oh.

sabi nothing

i like make u shut up and log off

hey hey hey

this is good

informative!

aiight

busta, you are cracking me up. tell me how am gonna sleep with this kinda joke in mind

hehehehehehe

killing me with laffta

amateurs at work!

_{*pulls down mimi's pant*} gets down to work.

TJ runs out after 30mins almost choking on the hot steam

TJ confesses _{*i've never imagined someone could get the job done on mimi dis good*}

thanks me with a bottle of champagne and a pack of greens

1st Degree:
A married couple was asleep when the telephone rang at two in the morning.

The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the telephone, listened a moment, and said, "How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up.

The husband said, "Who was that?"

The wife said, "I don't know; some woman wanting to know 'if the coast is clear'."

2nd Degree:
Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up.

She opens it, looks in the mirror, and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar."

She hands it to the second blonde.

The second blonde looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's me!"

3rd Degree:
A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun.

She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door, she finds him in the arms of a redhead.

Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief.

She takes the gun and puts it to her head.

The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it!"

The blonde replies, "Shut up, you're next!"

4th Degree:
A blonde brags about her knowledge of state capitals.

She proudly says, "Go ahead; ask me, I know all of them."

A friend says, "OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin?"

The blonde replies, "Oh that's easy -- 'W'."

5th Degree:
What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?

"Is it mine?"

6th Degree:
A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch.

"Wow!" the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant! Are you OK, ma'am?"

"Why, yes, officer, I'm just fine" the blonde chirped.

"Well, how in the world did this happen?" the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car.

"Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde began. "I was driving along this road, when from out of nowhere this tree popped up in front of me, so I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was another tree! I swerved to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was, "

"Uh, ma'am," the officer said, cutting her off as he looked inside the car,

"There isn't a tree on this road for 30 miles.

That was your air-freshener swinging back and forth."

7th Degree:
Returning home from work, a blonde was astonished to see that she had been robbed.

She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the channels, and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to respond.

As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, and then sat down on the steps.

Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, "I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman!"

if i no tell u all this ones now, you go still dey buy gold circle

hahahahahahaha

Top Ten ways to tell your car sucks

10, People behind you change lanes to keep your oil off their windsheild
9, Tractor trailer drivers are afraid to pass you.
8, Opening your trunk includes finding a screwdriver.
7, Your driveway looks like an oil slick and the EPA cites you for it. 6, Your friends would rather walk or ride a bus to school or work than ride in it.
5, The motor is so loud you can't hear a dumptruck crash through a nitroglycerin factory.
4, You have ever had to leave it running for fear it might not start back up.
3, You have ever been chased down by a firetruck.
2, You refer to your car as beast, P.O.S. junker, or hooptee.
1, You have ever parked on the side of the road and someone stops and asks you if you are injured.

dey don dey bottle shekpe for old moet bottles now oh.

OKAY
sorry y'all!

Top Ten best condoms

10, Nike condom: Just do it.

9, Toyota condom: Oh what a feeling.

8, Diet Pepsi Condom: You got the right one, baby.

7, Pringles condom: Once you pop, you can't stop.

6, Mentos condom: The freshmaker.

5, Flintstones Vitamins condom: Ten million strong and growing.

4, Secret condoms: Strong enough for a man, but pH balanced 3, for a woman.

2, Macintosh condom: It does more, it costs less, it's that simple.

1, Ford condoms: The best never rest.

, MORE GOOD ONES,

Chevy condoms: Like a rock.

Vmobile condom: It's all about You

Glo condom: Rock with Pride

MTN condom: Everywhere you go

Virgin Nigeria: Touching The Right Spots

Dial condom: Aren't you glad you use it?
Don't you wish everybody did?

New York Lotto condom: Cause hey- you never know.

California Lotto condom: Who's next?

Avis condom: Trying harder than ever.

KFC condom: Finger-licking good.

Coca-cola condom: Always the real thing.

Lays condom: Betcha can't have just one.

Campbell's condom: Mmm, mmm, good.

General Electric condom: We bring good things to life.

AT&T condom: Reach out and touch someone.

Bounty condom: The quicker picker upper.

Microsoft condom: Where do you want to go today?

Energizer condom: It keeps going and going and going,

M&M condom: Melts in your mouth not in your hand.

Taco Bell condom: Get some; make a run for the border.

MCI condom: For friends and family.

Doublemint condom: Double your pleasure, double your fun.

The Sears latex condom: One coat is good for the entire winter.

Delta Airlines Travel Pack condom: Delta is ready when you are.

United Airlines Travel pack condom: Fly United.

The Star Trek condom: To boldly go where no man has gone before.

Top Ten ways to tell you are fat

10, You dance and make the band skip.
9, You go bungee jumping and go straight to hell.
8, You go to the zoo and elephants throw you peanuts.
7, Your drivers liscense says "Picture continued on other side".
6, You go to a restaraunt and insted of a menu ,you get an estimate.
5, You have to use a boomerang to put a belt on.
4, Your family portrait has stretch marks.
3, People have to take three trains and a bus ride to get on your good side.
2, Your nickname is HOLY $HIT!.
1, You get runs in your jeans.

wait no more boy!

just print the picture!

@ bigold

that question is not correct, coz what the answer maybe varies in length, width and weight.

rephrase the question!

Top Ten Reasons beer is better then women

10, You can have a beer in public.
9, When you go to a bar you can always pick up a beer
8, A beer won't get upset when you come home with beer on your breath.
7, You can enjoy a beer all month long.
6, A beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer.
5, You always know you're the first one to pop a beer.
4, You don't have to wash a beer before it tastes good.
3, A beer is always wet.
2, A beer always goes down easy.
1, You can share a beer with your friends.

Top Ten Reasons Why Sex Is Better Than School

10, Everbody likes sex and nobody likes school,except for virgins and only because they haven't had sex yet.
9, Sex sucks, moans, licks, pumps, throbs etc, School just sucks.
8, After sex you feel like smoking a cigarette. After school you feel like smoking something a whole hell of a lot stronger.
7, You only get disciplined during sex if you want to.
6, Drinking drives people to sex, where as school drives people to drink.
5, Sex relieves stress. School is the cause of stress.
4, Nothing beats the "hands on" experience you get with sex.
3, After sex you feel like you have accomplished something.
2, Sex is cheaper. Even if you have to pay for a hooker, it is still cheaper than paying thousands of dollars in tuition.
And the Number 1 reason why sex is better than school is,
1, At least you have a choice whether or not you want to have sex. At school your teachers screw you regardless.