₦airaland Forum

Jekyll & Hyde:
[color=#000033]Kslib, you wrote well. Thank God.

All izz getting wella.[/color]

Thanks!
All izz well!

Ishilove: Kslib, that was really good, and really scary. Noticed a lot of things (as usual ) but we will leave that for another day

lol..
A lot of things; **faints**
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HBG really chose you guys well; she selected those with cat eyes..
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Thanks though..
All izz well!

Omolola1: I just knew Kslib would find a way to add his "aal is well" slang

Lol..
Guess its now a part of me..
..
All izz well oo!

kingphilip: Kslib dat was a nyc one...this competition i'm sure is gonna unravel gr8 writers... Mazi and da crew u guys are doing a gr8 job i must say

Thanks bro!!
..
All izz well!

He didn't see anything but knew something wasn't right. His legs began to shake and he could feel the pores of his dark chocolate skin opening as the hair that filled them stood still. He turned back to run,but it was too late.. What he saw standing in-front of him sent shivers down his spine. His heart defiled nature----- it stopped. His nerve cells were no longer working. His veins became thirsty as blood stooped flowing. He lost his sense of mobility and remained immobile as if the stature of liberty. Time stopped and everything around him stood still. With both jaws dropping in awe, moisture formed in mike's terrified eyes; even his tears were scared of falling to his cheeks. They held his eye's lashes firmly and refused to drop.

There she was. There the old woman, whose age could be said to be 168 due to how haggard and wrinkled she looked. She stood right in front of mike, smiling at him with the most devilish demeanor a human(thats if she was one) could ever possess. Her hair was long and looked extremely un-kempt. It looked like she constantly moisturized it with human feces. It was so long,it fell on her shoulders and strolled down her hunched back.. One of her eyes was completely white, it had no dark pigment like a normal eye. The other was normal but had lines of green and red veins that stretched across it's surface from left to right.
Her teeth were the dirtiest set he'd ever seen, both in movies. It looked brownish and had a touch of red which gave an indication of her fondness for blood. Her whole being reeked of nauseating odor. Her neck looked like a rolled leather of folded stretched skin. Her fore-head and entire face was smothered with a legion of wrinkled skin.

Her skin looked whitish/pale. She looked like whole blood in her system has been drained-- probably her thirst might have led her to drinking her own blood.. She looked like an alchemy only heard of, in ancient philosophy dating back to centuries. Mike couldn't believe what was standing before him.

"Dont you dare try it",the old woman snarled at him as she gave him a devilish stare with her eyes fixated on his.
"Omg,she can read my mind", mike thought to himself as fear gripped his inner being..

He initially wanted to run before the woman rebuked him with the the most scariest voice ever. Her voice wasn't husky or had a deep bass but it sounded as if she had mucus down her throat. Her voice wasn't too loud. It sounded fragile just like that of an old woman but this old woman's voice smothered his lungs as it shook his bones and pierced his soul...

"Yes,i can read your mind" mike.
"He was astounded beyond belief",she even knew his name...
"come to mommy", mickey!! mickey!!.. She used one hand to hold the stick firm and opened the other, waiting for mike's embrace.
"No" "No", he screamed. He began moving backwards slowly but fell to his back.

The old scary thing leaped slowly with her three legs(the stick being the third). She fell on mike's body and opened her mouth.
He kept screaming and trying to push her away but her weight wasn't ready to give way to his pushing.. He kept dragging but she grabbed him, held his head firm, bent his neck and lowered her teeth to the side of his neck. He could feel the moisture of her teeth on his neck and her sharp knife-like tooth was inches away from piercing his neck.

"Jesus',he screamed as he jerked up from his bed sweating like melted ice.

"Omg",it was a dream,mike sighed as he grabbed his pillow close to his chest.

He stared at the clock at it was 2;am and everywhere was dark(there was no light). His heart was still beating fast like a drum and his singlet soaked in sweat. He couldn't sleep anymore. He rolled to the side of his bed, came down and fell on his knees and said a short prayer. He was about rounding off his prayer when Nepa brought the light..

"Thank God",he sighed as he got up and went to the living room.
Mike was a movie freak. He loved watching movies at night cos he hated being distracted. Mike went to sitting room and strolled to the far end of the dinning where the fridge was. He opened it, took a can and had a glass of water..He switched on the appliances, lowered the volume and continued watching "The exorcism" from where he stopped two days ago. He didn't watch yesterday cos there was total black-out. Mike was just half an hour into the movie when he heard a noise behind him..

"Hell no" this isn't happening again, he thought to himself.

He wasn't going to take chances again. He quickly dropped his legs down from the couch and was about running into his room when something grabbed his legs from under. He screamed and had a quick glance at what was holding his leg. It was a thick black hand.

"Leave me" he screamed as he threw his body forward all in a bid to free his leg from the black hand's grip but his attempt was un-successful cos the thing still held him tight.

"No", "No" "Leave me alone" "Leave me alone plssssss", mike yelled again, this time around ,he was on the floor with his body crawling forward to go grab the glass table in front of him..

All his efforts remained futile as the being kept dragging him back under the couch. Tears streamed down mike's face as he kept fighting for his life.
''Hahaha", his sister Martha laughed as she left his left leg and came-out from under the couch to mike's full view..
"Fear" "Fear", i thought you said you don't easily scared nah, she teased..

"And let me warn you, next time when you want to watch a movie, make sure you lower the volume and stop disturbing people!!!".
This is your punishment for distracting my night's read, Martha teased as she(who was 3years older) gave her younger brother mike(who just turned 21, two days ago),"a tongue out"...
She winked at mike(who was now sobbing like a baby and looking like a scared rat).
Martha shook her head in victory-- she finally defeated the almighty mike who never admitted to being scared of the dark.
......................................................................

If only,If only!!! Martha knew the origin of mike's fear,she would have given credit to the old creepy witch, for a job well done.
No one knows if the old witch is going to pay Martha a visit for taking all the glory..

WHAT LURKS IN THE DARK!
(2,500 words)
By kslib...
........
The night was pitch dark,everything that was capable of making a sound went obsolete. It was 1;30am and for some strange unknown reason, mike felt the urge to visit his best friend Andy, who just flew into the country. Andy lived down the other street and informed mike of his arrival.
Mike stepped out and swung the gate back to its position with reckless abandon,causing the gate to make a loud bang.

"Geez', he poked his bottom with his fingers, serving as penance for what he just did as the 'bang' echoed its-way up the sky and the street beyond.

"Hope i didnt wake you guys", he smiled looking left-right..

"Not my fault, folks, blame it on this loud mouthed gate", he said in a sarcastic tone as he raised up both hands in surrender to the air.

He tucked his hands in his pocket and embraced the lonely dark street. The street had houses to its left and right that paved way for it to stretch itself in-between them(the houses). The dark tarred road was smothered by scores of dead,dry,fallen reddish-yellow leaves that fell from the huge trees that stood proud at the side of the street from left-right. The trees added a touch of beauty to the scenery but even beauty had its price.. If dead,dry leaves were the price to pay, then surely, no one was ready to complain except for mike..

He wanted to trek in a ghost-like manner,without making much noise at this un-godly hour, but the leaves were using their dead dry selves to frustrate his plan whenever he stepped on them as they gave out a soft cry. The quietness of the eerily night left a grave-yard with much to envy. The sky was bright as it illuminated the high heavens but was stingy enough not to share its glow with the dark lonely street that embraced mike as he walked. The street lights were completely dead. Only 3, out of the numerous street lights worked. Mike continued walking down the street as he passed a small flower that was used by frogs as an auditorium to probably test if their "croaking" voices were good enough for the choir. He was just about 50steps shy of making the next street,when he heard something writhe behind him. Mike quickly turned with neck breaking speed to check what just made that creepy noise. All he saw was the dark of the night, plus the distance he's covered so far. He stood for seconds, surveyed the environs with his sharp cat-like eyes that threatened to pierce through the dark, but he saw nada.

He shook his head and made a 'yimu' mock with his mouth.

"It's probably one of those wild cats that normally chose such a time to hunt for matured rats who were ripe enough to call a meal" mike thought to himself as he turned back to continue his small trek..
Well, even though it was the cats, he was sure going to increase his speed cos he was now feeling un-comfortable even though he didn't want to admit that the noise scared him.. He increased his walking speed and was about making a 'r' turn into the next street when he heard something making a pounding sound behind him; as if someone was pounding an empty mortar with a pestle. He stopped, stood still and turned his neck in slow-motion and what he saw made the hair behind his right ear stand still, at attention...

It was a dark figure in a black gown approaching him. Mike felt chills running down his spine as he stood there gazing in fear while it kept approaching him with a snail-like speed. He wanted to move but he couldn't. The force of gravity somehow managed to pin his now trembling legs firm to the ground like they belonged together..

"Run", his subconscious whispered to him in a child-like voice.

Mike was slapped back to reality by that whisper and he could now feel his legs. He looked around but there was no near building to run into,except the next street that led to Andy's home. He couldn't scream for help cos it was as if his throat was held down by an inner force that silenced his scream from echoing into the night. Besides, of what use will a scream be,when everybody was dead asleep.
Mike took to his heels and made a sharp 'r' turn into the next street that looked darker and desolate than the one he was running from. He kept running and looking back-- the figure was now out of sight. Nevertheless, mike was still determined to keep running.. He felt motivated cos there was no way that creepy thing was going to reach him, using that snail-like speed while he(mike) was racing with bolt-like speed and jaw dropping precision.
Whatever that was,it wasnt going to get me,mike re-assured himself.

Mike was now sighting a big building by his right, just some 50feet from him.. He kept running and was about jumping something he suspected to be a bump on the road when friction gave way and he tripped, falling to the ground. He landed with his elbow and the weight of his crashing body jerked him forward, using his elbow as if a surfing board.. He felt a sharp pain on his shoulder as he stood up.. Blood was dripping from his now bruised elbows, but that was the least of his problems for now..
He stood up, approached the gate and saw "Beware of vicious dogs " boldly ingrained on it..

He bent his head downwards and cursed his luck as tears strolled freely down his cheeks. Despite the cold of the night, he could still feel the warmth of his tears on his worried face. In as much as he wanted to escape from the dark creepy figure as possible, he sure wasn't going to try his luck with some dogs whose picture looked like it was already salivating at his bleeding elbow..

"kpom" "kpom" "kpom" mike heard the familiar sound.

Mike turned and saw the dark being that was the cause of his affliction approaching.. He could now get a better view of the being, all thanks to the security light of the house he was standing in front of.. Although the security light was bright, it didn't travel that far to cover the entire distance that separated the figure from him. All he could now see was the walking stick that aided the figure in movement, its hunch back and the extremely dirty looking long sharp knife-like fingernails that clenched firm to the stick like a lifeline..

"Omg" he screamed as he moved from the gate and began another round of marathon with Andy's house being the finish line.

The walking stick and the image of the being's disgusting fingernails added extra adrenaline to mike's already pulsating heart.. He kept running and didn't even bother to look back. The pounding sound from the figure's aiding stick was getting louder in mike's ears and he was now beginning to confirm his worst fears even though he didn't want to; the figure was getting closer to him despite the wild speed mike was using to race.
He turned back and didn't see no one. All he saw was darkness..

"whaaaaaaaat", he screamed as he stopped running and continued gazing at where he just ran from.
How possible? Where was the figure? Was it chasing him with only its stick? Was his mind playing silly tricks on him? Mike looked confused.

He couldn't hear the pounding sound no more.. The eerily night was back to its calm self and the only writhe that threatened to alter the night's sudden regained muteness was mike's timorous heart that was beating very fast.

"Calm down", take a deep breath. "All izz well' "All izz well", mike kept re-assuring himself as he used his sweaty palms that refused to succumb to the coldness of the night to rub his chest in a bid to stabilize his heart beat.

"All izz well",mike sighed again but his instincts suggested otherwise when he felt a presence around him..

@mazi,when is the deadline for submission na? I don ask tire.. Shoor!!!
..
All izz well!

*reads what the judges are looking out for**
**cleans sweat from fore-head** **whistles !!!oh boy!!***
*Does the sign of cross.**
I no even know who send me join oo..
..
All izz still well sha!

Royver: Points noted. Will do. Thanks!

Ok!!
..
All izz well!

Jekyll & Hyde:
[color=#000033]Lol @ highlighted. You no understand. Read that post again.

Seen her work?

Figured it out yet? [/color]

Ok,kinda have an idea now sha..
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All izz well!

daroseconcepts: Come ooo.is the said dayo same as yemi's dad? Glow talk oooo!

Hmmn,he had better not be the one oo...
Geeez,if he is,then this is so bleeped up...

It will take more than love plus an additional super-natural force to make yemi marry bisi if indeed,this same D1 is his dad.. The man who took jessica away from him.. The way yemi even found out about jessica and his dad was effing unpleasant. The scene was gory,inshort,i had to go throw-up...

Now,that same man(his father),slept with the woman he(yemi) intends calling 'his wife' in no distant future.. Not only did he(dayo) dis-virgin her but she carried his permature baby.. I just hope this Dayo isnt his dad sha COS if he ends up being him,then i give-up... I will hold nothing against yemi if he backs-off. E no easy abeg..

All izz well!

Mazi,when is the deadline for submission?
I am of the opinion that all stories should be posted the same day/time..
..
All izz well!

Damex333: My views- My opinion- Speaking for my self
on d 10,000 words ish, is it 4 this maiden edition or subsequent edition, cos if it for this one, there will be a slight prob, the first range of words that was given was 1,500 words b4 it was upped to 2,500 so writers would have built their storyline and characters on that, so how do we fit in seven thousands five hundred without doing d unimportant! ?

Its still 2500 words.. I dont think it has changed or has it?
..
All izz well!

kayemjay: Ooooohhhhh. Haba na! Oya oshi! Why u dey beh na? Now you have spoilt the surprise.

E be lyk say I go change my mind sef. *grins*

lol.. Didnt know it was meant to be a surprise...
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All izz well!

kayemjay: Dear wonderful peeps,

I had a terrible day at work today. My Bosss totally made me feel useless and incompetent, just because I covered my subordinate's indiscretions.

I tried to write but it just wasn't coming. I'm not just in the right frame of mind.

Please bear with me. Hope you guys understand?

See you same time, same station tomorrow.

Luv u all.

No problem,we understand,bro.. Its not easy..
Have a nice rest..
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Atleast,we'll read two updates tomorrow and have alot to grin at..
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All izz well!

Jekyll & Hyde:
[color=#000033]Hahaha, okay. I thought as much. Lol, I have to. I no go finish am. I can't deal with myself if I don't finish something.

Na one writing ish sha. Lemme read his (her) works first and I'll decide.

You don start?[/color]

Exactly!! Just finish what you started cos trust me,immediately submission ends,that feeling of guilt will start eating you up on why you didnt go ahead with your work..
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Me sef,i wan go check her work make i see..

I never start my own oo.. Na the idea i still dey figure out and the symmetry wey e go follow.. Hopefully,by evening or tomorrow,i go start and finish...
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All izz well!

Jekyll & Hyde:
[color=#000033]Lol. Scare? Nah, she typed like an editor.

No fear. You can do it.

Thinking of it, I'd love to read his (her) works. There's something else I need help with.[/color]

I just dey joke.. Dont pull out nah..
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Help? What is it?
..
All izz well!

Efemena_xy: Hello All,

Firstly, I'd like to commend Mazi for this idea of his - good stuff and it'll help a lot of budding writers, so kudos to him for this.

Well, as a judge, I'd like to let you all know that I'm quite harsh in my critiques. I don't do friends or favours here and will be looking at the technical content of your write ups. You must strive to impress. By impressing me and the fellow judges, you'll also help improve your writing skills. Now without further ado, here's what I'll be looking out for:

Plot – How complex is it? The more complex, the better
Setting – Should be easy for the reader to visualize. Even better if the five senses are engaged: sight, smell, taste, hearing and touch
Characterisation – Individual characters should be well thought out, unique and thoroughly 'fleshed out'
Action – The reader(s) must feel engaged
Dialogue – Excellent level of interaction needed with minimum dialogue tags.
Romance – for love and romance genres, fiction (for fiction), sci-fi (for sci-fi) and so on. Point is, the reader MUST feel the genre
Suspense – Same as above

In addition to that, I would be looking out for the following:

Spelling -- Including English vs. British Variances for Consistency
Typographical Errors
Capitalization
All Punctuation
Proper Paragraphing & Dialogue Transition
Sentence Structure (Run-On Sentences & Sentence Fragments)
Verb-Tense Consistency
Redundancy
Point-Of-View Consistency (Head Hopping)
Narrative Consistency (1st Person--2nd Person--3rd Person)
Scene-Change Clarity and Flow
Story Structure:

~ Imagery of Scenes
~ Character Development
~ Believability of Action, Plot, and Resolution
~ Historical and Data Correctness

I've also suggested to Mazi that he up the stakes for this competition with regards to the prizes on offer here. That notwithstanding, I'm willing to aid in this respect:

First prize $100
Second prize $50
Third prize $20

Not sure how Mazi plans to organize this but I'll leave that to him.

Nonetheless, bottom line here is that we'll or rather I, would be looking out for quality works. You must endeavour to show and not tell. Now what do I mean by this? Say for example, you're describing a character's physical appearance: don't tell me she's beautiful. Show me what makes her beautiful!

Finally, your very first paragraphs MUST have that hook to keep me glued to your story. If I'm bored, I'll toss your write-up over my shoulders.

Let's show the world that Nigerians have it in them to produce the finest, quality works ever. Make your country proud and moreso, yourself!

Goodluck!

Jekyll & Hyde:
[color=#000033]Mazi,

Please, strike out my name. I won't be able to submit any story.

Thanks. [/color]

Jekyll,did Efe scare you? lol
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Me sef fear her ooo.. Hian!!!
All izz well!

Nice mehn!!!
@frank,you be Rogers,when it comes to writing ..lol..
You too much..
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All izz well!

Holy jerusalem!!!!
Lemme go throw-up!! Whaaat da?
.. His dad and jessica need to be thrown and locked in a soak-away pit which measures 5ft deep, while the shiit level has risen 4ft 6...
What nonsense?
...
Kai,glowing,you are fantastic... Keep it up..
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All izz well!

Lmao!!!! You go fear "i no do again"..lol
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I loved how you added comedy to the ending part of this should i say "tragic" short story, without trying too hard to sound funny..
I loved it and it was a nice read..

Pls,space the work and use paragraphs,so your story will look nice and easy on the eye..
You said you're new on nairaland,so i'll say "welcome "..

Feel free to write more short stories if you can and i'll read and tell you if i liked it or not..
BTW,i loved this piece.. Nice work and great thinking...
All izz well!

I cant believe i havent even written anything down..
Na wa oo.. Even if na 2lines,i must submit sha...
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@mazi,submission starts tomorrow and ends on the 2nd of october right?
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All izz well!