₦airaland Forum

Okay

solosimple:
kUNLE

MY POINT IS THIS:I'M NOT SURE SOMEONE WHO IS A GENUINE BELIEVER WOULD COME UP WITH THE KIND OF POST IN QUESTION. DESPITE THE FACT THAT MANY PEOPLE ARE RAISING THEIR VOICES :oAGAINST FALSEHOOD, SOMEONE CAN STILL COME AND TELL US TO HE WANTS TO TEACH ON HOW TO BECOME A RICH HOLY BUSINESS MAN OR WHATEVER. IS IT NOT STRANGE?

Okay i see your point, but the topic is a tongue in cheek kind of topic, the poster is playing the devil's advocate here. The topic is actually written to expose the antics of these religious merchants so that people would not fall prey, it was not written to encourage people to start chruch busisnesses.

@abose
God bless you for that submission.

Image123:
This is exactly what I wrote about in my previous post KunleOshob.you brought up a issue that levites are not to own property,and then we prove that they can and have, and instead of you to agree to that,you're simply bringing up another weather beaten point of tithes must be food,and are to be eaten in God's presence.when we start to talk about people like Abraham and Jacob now,you'll likely run to Hebrews or something.quit this circuit friend.

Even if some levites owned property the fact still remains that it was stated clearly in the bible that the only reason they were entitled to tithes was becos they were not allowed to own property and that reason must be up held by any one who wants to preach tithes today.

Abraham's tithes was a one off tithe from war booty, it was never instituitionalized for his desecdants to practise talkless of christians, that aside it was a free will offering and it was not from his income or property. That aside he still gave out the remaining 90% of the war booty so stop coming up with irrelevant scriptures to assert your delusions. There is no record Jacob ever tithe, he only made a conditional promise to tithe if God blessed him, that again is not relevant to the type of tithes being bandied today

The bible makes it crystal clear that tithes was food to be eaten in his presence by the tither so i am quite certain that you know you and other pastors preaching monetary tithes from income are twisting God's word and there are dire consequences for this evil.

Of course i don't need to remind you of the clear and precise passage in Hebrews that unequivocally abolishes tithing and describes it as weak and useless. If you don't like it maybe you should tear the book of hebrew out of your bible

huxley:
Is everyone who claims to be a man of god really a man of god?  If not, how do you know the real from the fake?

The bible says that by their fruits we shall know them.

solosimple:
Just saw this post. Too bad I was late

HMMM.

HMMM.

My Dear Poster, [b]You might need to reexamine yourself if you are still in the faith.[/b]I'm not sure I have any other thing to say.

A true believer would not need to, if you are sure of your faith then the antics of these criminals posing as men of God should not deter one's faith as we have already been warned about them in the bible. Your faith should be in God and NOT and so called "man of God".

[quote author=Negro_Ntns link=topic=48078.msg3831681#msg3831681 date=1241634922]Africa has diamond but how many Africans are in the global diamond business? Nigeria has oil but how many of us own wells. Nigeria is the leading cocoa producer in the world but why are we not in chocolate and candy productions?

Your observation is very valid and leads to questions that lead possibly into innovating ideas on originality and creativity on the continent.[/quote]Well in my opinion there is no correlation between IFA and physics talkless of quantum physics which leading scientist are yet to fully understand and embrace. IFA as to do with the spiritual through divination whilst quantum physics deals with the physical. What is the relation here if any?

GoodMuyis:
You really observe well to this issue

If the government make it mandatory for churches to be paying taxes, so as to be obedient, they should pay
because Jesus also said

[center](Matthew 22:21 KJV) They say unto him, Caesar's. Then saith he unto them, Render therefore unto Caesar the things which are Caesar's; and unto God the things that are God's.
[/center]

the scripture you quoted above does not infer that churches should pay tax, tax is meant to be paid on personal income and company profits and not offerings and gifts received. in the case of churches thay receive offerings and gifts so it is not reasonble to tax them. however that is not to say they should be left on checked. By law the church is a charitable organization, therefore you cannot tax them as charities are not taxable however most of these churches don't engage in charity with the funds they generate and technically speaking they are flouting the law and commiting a crime in the vagaries of fraud. Since they are collecting the money [legally speaking] for the intention of using it for charity. There is actually enough provisions in our laws to prosecute these PLC churches but religion is avery sensitive affair and most goverments would rather dine with these preachers than prosecute them becos of the influence they wield.

[quote author=pilgrim.1 link=topic=263218.msg3832151#msg3832151 date=1241640593]This is why I appreciate reasoning like yours: no evasions or prevarications, just straight to the point - many thanks. In due course, I'll proffer a few hints to add to that (just waiting to see if Kunle would calm down and see it himself).[/quote]I don't believe you are waiting for me to calm down, you are probably rampaging through the scriptures as i write looking for some remotely connected scripture which you can expand on to prove whatever hypothesis you are thinking of dreaming up.

Image123:
eh eh,see as my friend kunle dey take the heat for here.pilgrim.1,carry go, I dey wit U. lol. Don't mind those anti-tithers,they excel in the memory lapse tactic. They can't query your points,then they bring up another 'point' and then you explain that,and they come up with another,until they go round the circle and bring up some old weather beaten 'point' again. Kunle has been informed before that Barnabas was a levite who had land and sold it Acts4v36,37,so also Jeremiah the prophet.I'm praying wit you that God will open his and their eyes in Jesus' name.

Ifyou read pilgrim's bone of contention here you would find that as usual she is arguing based on shaft and rhetorics whilst ignoring the real issues that tithes means food to be eaten by the tither in God's presence and it was NEVER directed at christians.

todak:
your opinion bose, if you love robbing God of his tithe then go ahead for God cannot be mocked; for whatsoever a man soweth, that he shall reap. also remember Food for the belly, belly for food, they shall all perish one day. have a good day.

The only people robbing God and his children as far as tithes is concerned are the pastors preaching it in God's name cos God did not at any time in the bible instituite tithing for christians, that aside the type of tithing being preached today is a gross violation and corruption of biblical tithing which had nothing to do with money or income, that is apart from the fact that it was done once a year and not weekly/monthly that those robbing God preach.

@pilgrim.1
why don't you show us the coherence, what i quoted was from scriptures and NOT my opinion. If you have a seemingly contradictory scripture then it is left to you to thrash it out and NOT me.

@Pilgrim.1
When i said i am sure those preachers preach tithe, it was on the assumption that all properity pastors [which they are] preaxh tithes. i never infered that they preached tithes in that video, an that is why i mentioned that tithes is already taken  as granted becos they have instituitionalized it.

[quote author=pilgrim.1 link=topic=261892.msg3830165#msg3830165 date=1241620066]I disagree with you that the most institutionalised method for filthy lucre is tithes - that was why I posted you samples of clips earlier to see the most popular examples in many places. We owe people truth, yes: but that does not include the example of the false claim you borrowed from whereever about Jews not tithing today. As Christians, we should not be making false claims just because we're not inclined to something.[/quote]I can assure you that those "pastors" in the videos you posted are tithe preachers and they are already reaping off their congrgation this way. The methods shown in that video are just extort more from the congregation. The problem is that the pentecostal movement as so much instituitionalize tithes that people no longer question it they believe it to be the truth they now only ask if tithes should be after tax or before tax. these pastors already take tithes collection as granted they are just trying to milk their gullible congregation further. But thank God today we are in the information era and the truth about tithes is slowly being revealed to all. personally i can testify that God as been using me to reveal the biblical truth about tithes to christians and a lot of christians have had the scales taken off their eyes through my effort and are no longer wasting their money on dubious preachers who claim they are serving God.

@Pilgrim.1
The place you falsely claimed i was not quoting the scripture properly because of the insertion "Jesus and his apostles never preached tithe" i put is you trying to cast me in bad light cause i clearly bracketed the insertion to make it known it was an insertion. That aside what i inserted is a fact and it was intended to help the readers understand the verse better under the context within which i was using it.

[quote author=pilgrim.1 link=topic=263218.msg3829725#msg3829725 date=1241615329]Was Paul talking about sacrificial meal in 1 Corinthians 9:13-14?
well, is 1 Corinthians 9:13-14 in context blurring any lines?[/quote]And when you quote the above verse always remember to include verse 15 so you don't quote the verse out of context, pastors should also be encourage to copy paul's example as enuciated in verse 15


1 Corinthians 9:13-15:

13 Don’t you realize that those who work in the temple get their meals from the offerings brought to the temple? And those who serve at the altar get a share of the sacrificial offerings. 14 In the same way, the Lord ordered that those who preach the Good News should be supported by those who benefit from it. 15 Yet I have never used any of these rights. And I am not writing this to suggest that I want to start now. In fact, I would rather die than lose my right to boast about preaching without charge


As per your little assignment maybe you have to figure it out yourself, my bible used the word permanent property so maybe the levites had access to property but they didn'y have permanent possesion of it. then again you could suggest that the bible is contradicting it self but there are several passages in the bible that says the levites were entitled to tithes cause they were not allowed to own property i would give you two more passages below that emphasize that;

Deuteronomy 12:12:
12 “You must celebrate there in the presence of the Lord your God with your sons and daughters and all your servants. And remember to include the Levites who live in your towns, for they will receive no allotment of land among you.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Deuteronomy 14:27:
27 And do not neglect the Levites in your town, for they will receive no allotment of land among you.

Rather i think churches should be monitored and regulated to ensure they spend money collected on charities as they have been registered to do and are mandated to do by the apostles. People should be enlightened as to the real role of the church and their function as a charitable organization and also be encouraged to ask their pastors questions as to how church funds are being dis-bursed. Pastors should be accountable to the congregation and they should stop being arrogant as if they are second only to God. Even though i know they would still abuse the system if they are being regulated[like Ashimolowo is still doing in London] at least they would check them selves and their excesses would be reduced. Also CAC should make the conditions for registering new churches very stringent so as to reduce proliferation of churches.

[quote author=pilgrim.1 link=topic=261892.msg3829240#msg3829240 date=1241609183]Can I ask a simple question (even though I've asked it before): if "tithes/tithing" is a false doctrine, then should people "use their tithes" (ie., use their 'false doctrine') to promote charity? This is why I've been appealing for consistency - one who condemns tithes cannot come back at the same time encouraging the same tithes. Yet, it's great to see you acknowledge that tithes could be used for assiting the needy, among several other uses.[/quote]My dear either you don't understand me or you are deliberately trying to be dishonest, we have had several debates on tithes since last year and i believe i have expressed my self clearly enough on this issue of tithes. i have consistently told you that i don't have anything against tithing per se that it is the way it is being preached and imposed on unsuspecting christians to de-fraud them that i loath. the definition of tithes today[ten percetn of income] is not biblical hence it is a false doctrine. Biblical tithes is ten percent of the produce of the land of Israel, which is not what is being preached today. If a pastor wants to preach tithes he should explain to his congregation that they are not obligde to practise it, but most of them preach from malachi 3[distort the meaning of biblical tithes] which is not relevant to christianity becos it is best suited to intimidate and deceive christians into tithing. No matter how you want to argue it pilgrim.1 it is very evident that tithing the way it is preached and practised today in churches as NO sound biblical basis it is just a distortion of biblical practise becos of the greed of a few. The pulpit owes the congregation the truth and nothing else, they are not allowed to add their own to scripture or twist it. I agree with you that there are other methods being used by certain pastors to extort money from their congregation but you would agree with me that tithing is the most instituitionalized and popular method of extortion in the church today hence my speaking against it

[quote author=pilgrim.1 link=topic=261892.msg3826407#msg3826407 date=1241550000]@KunleOshob,

Em. . . did you say "in conformity" with what you have been saying? Well, I would not excuse you on this one, sorry. Your assertion was rather that "the mordern day Jews don't even practise this obsolete rite any more", and what I posted hardly bears any conformity with what you might've been saying. There are many "Christians" who have been making the unfortunate claim that, "Today, Orthodox Jews do not tithe"; and as 'Christians' we should know better than recycling unfounded assertions.[/quote]When i say obsolete rite i mean obsolete rite. it still remains a fact even from all your posts about jewish tithing that Jews don't practise tithing the way it was described in the bible [that is what i mean by rites]deut 14,deut26, levitcus27, malachi3. Clearly it is not practical today. But what i want to draw from it is that at least their rabbis are more honest that our pastors by preaching they should give it to charity instead of to them if the principle of tithes must be practised. Kudos to the rabbis. Nigeria and indeed the whole world would have been a much better place if christians are keeping the mandate christ gave us and that is to help and assist those in need. This what i expect our preachers to be preaching that people should use their tithes to do that is if they must preach tithes at all.

[quote author=pilgrim.1 link=topic=263218.msg3827088#msg3827088 date=1241558156]@KunleOshob,

Easy now, Kunle. This is exactly what I've been appealing against: no need for this unhealthy reactions on this subject - afterall, this is only a forum and nobody is "obligated" to pay tithe on NL, abi? I'm not sure though, that everything you wrote was clearly 100% backed by the word of God; but that is another matter entirely.[/quote]Kindly show me at least one thing i have written that is not clearly backed by scripture.



[quote author=pilgrim.1 link=topic=263218.msg3827088#msg3827088 date=1241558156]However, if the question is rather about how the principles of tithing could be helpful to Christians who are desiring to tithe, the simple answer is 1 Cor. 16:2 - set aside a portion of your income as God has prospered you. This could mean a number of things, but quoting the CEV on that verse again to illustrate the point:[/quote]The passage you quoted above is another passage being mis-used by the church to justify collection of weekly tithes and offerings from the congregation. the truth is that paul was trying to raise money for the christians in jerusalem who were being persecuted at that time. It was a special collection of some sort and NOT a mandate to christians to practise till eternity. the sad thing is that the impact of that passage is being mis-used and mis-construed. What that we should learn from that passage is that as christians we should learn to help one another when in need. As i have always said the main reason for collections and giving in the new testament was for charity and helping those in need, it is indeeed unfortunate that the pulpit as taken advantage of the ignorance of the congregation to exploit the srciptures for their own selfish/greedy benefit.

1 Corinthians 16:1-5:
The Collection for Jerusalem
1 Now regarding your question about the money being collected for God’s people in Jerusalem. You should follow the same procedure I gave to the churches in Galatia. 2 On the first day of each week, you should each put aside a portion of the money you have earned. Don’t wait until I get there and then try to collect it all at once.


[quote author=pilgrim.1 link=topic=263218.msg3828466#msg3828466 date=1241597344]Tithes have nothing in Scripture to do with any of those reasons.

You're reading the "letter" instead of seeking to grasp the "spirit" (ie., the "principle" of the Law. We've been through your ideas in other threads and thrashed them thoroughly for their weakness. Though the Lord Jesus was from the tribe of Judah (Heb. 7:14), and while on earth He was not a priest (Heb. 8:4), yet He also taught and encouraged tithes rather than abrogate it (Matt. 23:23). How could He then have taught about tithes and urged it even though he was not from the tribe of Levi?[/quote]It is very dis-honest to claim Jesus taught and encouraged tithes based on matthew 23:23. In that verse Jesus was addressing pharisees who where under the law at that time hence the pharisees were bound to tithe as Jesus stated, that apart he NEVER taught it to his followers and none of his disciples ever taught or encouraged it, infact it was anulled in hebrews7:11 and described as weak and useless in hebrew7:18, this i am sure you are very aware of. That apart the impact of that verse was not to endorse tithing but rather to show the hyprocrysy in the pharisees who practised the less revelant [tithes] part of the law whilst ignoring the more important principles inherent in it.

@todak
Instead of getting angry at me and "disgusted" for exposing all the lies in your delusions about tithes why don't you just show every body from the scriptures[undiluted and NOT twisted] how any thing i have written is wrong. If you say you are disgusted maybe it is the scriptures that is disgusting you as all i wrote was clearly 100% backed by the word of God[bible]

@Pilgrim.1
Ok if we are agreed on the issue of principles how are those principles inherent in the commandment to tithe under the law being upheld in the way tithing is being preached and administered in our churches today. Remember as i stated in the other thread God ordained tithing for the levites as compensation for their not being allowed to own property as clearly stated in numbers 18:23-24. Biblical tithing was also in the form of food which the tither could eat out of with his family and other less priviledge people deut 14:22-29. How are the principles involved in biblical tithing being upheld today?

@pigrim.1
Thanx for this wonderful insight, at least you have proven from your posts that even the Jews whom the law was directed to and who should know and understand better than our mordern day pharisees[pastors] do not tithe to their temples rather it is given to charity which is in conformity with what what i have been saying that the way our pastors today preach tithing is not only wrong but it is manipulative and skewed towards selfish gain which is instigated by a love for filthy lucre. As i have always said it is not the act of tithing that i am against, it is the way the word of God ismanipulated to extort it that i loath and i seek to enlighten my fellow brethen about this truth. The onus is on those twisitngthe word of God to trace back there steps and ask for forgiveness.

I just thank God we are in a age of spiritual awakening, the truth is slowly being revealed and people are begining to realize what true christianity is NOT.

To understand the often misquoted Malachi 3:10 very well you have to go back to the bible to study and understand how tithes was administered. Evidently the levites were the ones who gave tithes to the priest and not the Israelites. The israelites gave there own tithes to the levites.[numbers18:25-28] Evidently the social structure for tithing which the Israelites used at that time does not even exist today and the mordern day Jews don't even practise this obsolete rite any more as the people (levites) legally entitled to collect it don'rt exist anymore.

Numbers 18:25-28:

25 The Lord also told Moses, 26 “Give these instructions to the Levites: When you receive from the people of Israel the tithes I have assigned as your allotment, give a tenth of the tithes you receive—a tithe of the tithe—to the Lord as a sacred offering. 27 The Lord will consider this offering to be your harvest offering, as though it were the first grain from your own threshing floor or wine from your own winepress. 28 You must present one-tenth of the tithe received from the Israelites as a sacred offering to the Lord. This is the Lord’s sacred portion, and you must present it to Aaron the priest.


Also there were reasons given by God as to why the levites were entitled to collect tithes of the people of Israel the reason being the levites were not allowed to own any permanent property in israel[numbers 18:23-24] I wonder why all these greedy preachers that preach tithing don't keep this other side of the agreement.

Numbers 18:23-24:
23 Only the Levites may serve at the Tabernacle, and they will be held responsible for any offenses against it. This is a permanent law for you, to be observed from generation to generation. The Levites shall have no permanent property in Israel, 24 because I have given them the Israelites’ tithes, which have been presented as sacred offerings to the Lord. This will be the Levites’ share. That is why I said they would receive no allotment of land among the Israelites.”

brainbox1:
While it is important to acknowledge that the law was important while it lasted, it is essential you are reminded that the law has been abolished by the law of the Christ. Christians therefore are guided not by the mosaic laws but by the law of the christ.[b] However, the law might have been done away it, but the principles behind the law are still very relevant [/b]even in christian lives because the one who gave the law is God (The same one we still serve).

Thanks for this very simple but precise explaination. This is what some of us have been trying to explain since, the apostles also wrote several scriptures to explain this reality but some people are obvoiusly tooo thick in the head to realise this and would rather cut themselves off the grace of christ by trying to uphold the letters of the law.

Image123:
And I'm not, at least not yet defending any pastor or doctrine.What I said was that paulipopo and you guys should do what you're doing to edify the people,not just discourage them and make them not see reason to worship or fellowship again.Making jest of and insulting pastors both anointed and anti anointed is not scriptural.David did not do that to Saul even after his demise,although Saul was wrong all the way.If you have issues,speak to these people themselves directly and correct them like the bible shows us

There are several warings in the bible warning us against false prophets and teachers, what do you think the pupose of those warnings are? Today the reason for those warnings is even more glaring and you expect us to keep quiet whilst our brethenare being led astray?? As christians whilst it is good for us to encourage each other in true faith, we must not be oblivious of the fact that there are a lot of criminals out there parading themselves as pastors whilst exploiting there flock, therefore it is our christian duty for those of us that are more discerning to warn others about the antics of these evil criminals parading themselves as men of God.



2 Corinthians 11:13:
13 These people are false apostles. They are deceitful workers who disguise themselves as apostles of Christ.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1 Timothy 6:10-11:
10 For the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil. And some people, craving money, have wandered from the true faith and pierced themselves with many sorrows. 11 But you, Timothy, are a man of God; so run from all these evil things. Pursue righteousness and a godly life, along with faith, love, perseverance, and gentleness.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
John 4:1:
Discerning False Prophets
1 Dear friends, do not believe everyone who claims to speak by the Spirit. You must test them to see if the spirit they have comes from God. For there are many false prophets in the world.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1 John 4:5-6:
5 Those false prophets belong to this world, so they speak from the world’s viewpoint[properity and material wealth], and the world listens to them. 6 But we belong to God, and those who know God listen to us. If they do not belong to God, they do not listen to us. That is how we know if someone has the Spirit of truth or the spirit of deception.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
2 Peter 2:3:
3 In their greed these false teachers would make up clever lies to get hold of your money. But God condemned them long ago, and their destruction will not be delayed.

Jeremiah 8:8-10:

8 “‘How can you say, “We are wise because we have the word of the Lord,”
when your teachers have twisted it by writing lies?
9 These wise teachers will fall
into the trap of their own foolishness,
for they have rejected the word of the Lord.
Are they so wise after all?
10 I will give their wives to others
and their farms to strangers.
From the least to the greatest,
t[b]heir lives are ruled by greed.
Yes, even my prophets and priests are like that.
They are all frauds.
[/b]

@hubreality
Why don't you give us your legitimate names as well? or better still post your resume here so we can know you better and probably be able to offer solutions to your delusions.

[quote author=pilgrim.1 link=topic=263218.msg3819093#msg3819093 date=1241442162]Hi Kunleoshob,

It is obvious that people with different views can have the grace to be civil in their dicussions - and that is what I've very well enjoyed with ttalks. It is unnecessary to become personal against me with childish accusations when you have had nothing intelligent to offer - that game has waned and makes you look really out of date. If you do have anything intelligent to say, please offer them and save all the caterwauls: they're quite unnecessary - unless you're only out to prove your vacancy of thought.[/quote]Classical pilgrim.1, always quick to resort to insults to put her points across. As you well know i have written more than enough to correct your erronous position on tithes in the past and i realized that arguing with you is like arguing with a brick wall. You refused to admit the fallacies in your positon despite all the overwhelming evidence provided. instead you are quick to pick other unrelated verses in the bible, twist it and force your own meaning into it to further buttress your point. how is it possible to have an intelligent conversation with someone who is so intellectually corrupt And that is why i refused to engage you in further dialogue on this topic cos the truth is already known to you even though you refuse to accept it.

@OP
You have my support on this topic, that is what i have always been trying to tell all these ignorant anti-OBJ folks who have been blinded by negative press propanganda due to his poor relationship with the Nigerian press, true baba had his short comings but to this date he remains the greatest Nigerian leader ever.

yeah this is the final onslaught, by the time the match is over we would have those scummies laughing at the other side of their faces. If you had seen the way they celebrated their rubbish 1-0 victory last week, you would have thought they won the cup already( I guess beating arsenal is more valuable to them than winning the cup). Rome here we come

SirJohn:
@ttalks & pilgrim1,
you guys have again thrown more light on this very controvercial subject. I think the decision of wether 'to tithe or not to tithe' finaly lies on the individual (christian).

Well, for some of us, tithing is out of the question.

That notwithstanding, I am impressed at the 'spirit of sportsmanship' shown in the course of this debate despite the obvious difference in opinions.
I think some 'you know whos' should learn from this.

Yeah that was quite some debate, and from experience it can be quite exhausting debating/arguing with pilgrim.1 she NEVER ever agrees even when it is obvious she is wrong, she would run circles around you, distorting your posts and quote scriptures out of context. She actually is really good at this, but then again i appreciate her because despite all her brilliant efforts at justify tithing with her numerous biblical and extra biblical submissions she as only been able to confirm to me further that there is no real substance to the deception of tithing that as gained so much popularity amongst some of our pastors this is evident with the fact that all her brilliant submission never stand up to scrutiny when put under the magnifying glass. If tithing was required for christians it would have been clearly stated/ taught by the apostles and pilgrim.1 would not be trying to force the idea of tithing into 1 corinthians 9:13-14. but then if you are not adequately versed, you can get easily swayed away by prolific quotes of scriptures albeit in the wrong context.

So what happened to this theorem? as it been put to test, if so how has it helped man's understanding of God and the universe?

Ten commandments of marriage
COMMANDMENT 1

Marriages are made in heaven. But so are thunder and lightning.

COMMANDMENT 2
If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

COMMANDMENT 3
Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

COMMANDMENT 4
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: Either the car is new or the wife is.

COMMANDMENT 5
Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

COMMANDMENT 6
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After marriage, he
will fall asleep before you finish.

COMMANDMENT 7
Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook. But the law allows only one wife.

COMMANDMENT 8
Marriage and love are purely matter of chemistry. That is why wife treats husband like toxic waste.

COMMANDMENT 9
A man is incomplete until he is married After that, he is finished,

BONUS COMMANDMENT STORY (10)
A long married couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The wife decided to make a wish too.
But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The husband was stunned for a moment but then smiled and said, "Hey!, This thing really works!"

Ten commandments of marriage
COMMANDMENT 1

Marriages are made in heaven. But so are thunder and lightning.

COMMANDMENT 2
If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

COMMANDMENT 3
Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

COMMANDMENT 4
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: Either the car is new or the wife is.

COMMANDMENT 5
Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

COMMANDMENT 6
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After marriage, he
will fall asleep before you finish.

COMMANDMENT 7
Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook. But the law allows only one wife.

COMMANDMENT 8
Marriage and love are purely matter of chemistry. That is why wife treats husband like toxic waste.

COMMANDMENT 9
A man is incomplete until he is married After that, he is finished,

BONUS COMMANDMENT STORY (10)
A long married couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The wife decided to make a wish too.
But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The husband was stunned for a moment but then smiled and said, "Hey!, This thing really works!"