₦airaland Forum

Why would you say no?

dayokanu:
I have gone through the thread and my thoughts are these.

The average Nigerian guy in my level Is Educated, In school or working, Has a dream and is very determined, He is in his late 20's or early 30's and DOESNT have a baby momma, He dress well and doesnt sag his pant, He doesnt have tatooes and jewelries all over. He is Family oriented and has family values. A Nigerian man is financially independent and can take take of  his wife and kids, he has never been to jail etc

The problem is 75% of women regardless of race want this kind of man as a husband especially in the US. No matter how crazy a woman is, She would find these kind of men very desirable. so the competition for a guy that has the above qualities is always very tough and one thing is Nigerian girls hardly help too. Some Nigerian guys have even come to the conclusion that they wont ever be with a Nigerian girl.
because its known among the guys circle that Nigerian girls are the most difficult to talk to, "Dem too dey form".

I know several non-Nigerian women who can do anything just to be with a Nigerian dude even some of them wont even mind going to the airport to wait for Just off the plane from Nigeria.

I know an A-A girl on this forum whom I once chatted with I told her I have a younger brother in Nigeria and she was like anytime my brother gets to the US she would like to date him cos she just have the thing for Naija guys she actually started learning some words of Igbo from her Naija female friends LOL

I believe its never too late to get one and If you are a good girl like you described, You would get someone pretty soon

That is exactly why I want my husband to be a Nigerian man, as those are traits and values that I cherish. My father continues to show me what the man I should marry should be like, and I can not settle for any less. ! Thanks for your response!

elseohjay:
I have read through the entire thread. For starters, I have to give kudos to Ladyjide for her openness to 'lay it bare' and dedication to her naija roots.

I must say Ladyjide's account/quest here reflects the reality of most single Nigerians, guys and girls (believe it or not) in the diaspora. As someone who have also had to navigate the complex often frustrating route of seeking a culturally compatible partner in diaspora, I make bold to say it not an easy journey. The pool of prospective partners is very limited for the Nigerian singles in the diaspora. Matching cultural compatibility with other regular factors involve in choosing a partner make it a difficult prospect. But it is not Impossible. People have done it, are doing it and will still do it.

One major problem as already evident on this thread is that you see yourself as a full blooded Nigerians but to our bothers and sisters back home you may be perceived as someone who has been influenced by 'foreign culture'. for example, what one may perceive as "openness" and assertiveness which are often desirable virtues in this part of the world may be seen as arrogance and aggressions. We have seen some of such reactions already based on the banter between Ladyjide and a few others on this thread

My token to all who are at this stage of their lives: Keep an open mind, mix with other Nigerians through churches, social gatherings reunions etc, embrace the strength of your "africaness". Visit home (Nigeria) regularly, build a network of trustworthy Nigerians around yourself both back in Nigeria and wherever you are based. Be ready to learn and accept new things. Above all commit your ways into the hands of he Almighty and it shall be well with you.


Stay blessed y'all.

Very nice, and everything you said is true!!! Thanks

^^ I left my email address for those wondering what I have to offer in apperance or personal wise. Otherwise I am wasting my breathe!

honeric01:
Ok, mind highlighting what you are looking for? i mean in summary apart from what you wrote from the start of the thread?

Honest, between 28-39, hardworking , educated, and family oriented! No complexion preference I just asked that he be well groomed and clean. I can work with everything else!

honeric01:
For real? What bout 5?

Sorry!! Try again-

honeric01:
I thought as much, but don't tell me you are yet to start a convo with at least 10 men already since your thread started

I have not!! Sorry to disappoint you

jay bee:
I am also looking for a wifey
I know i'm already ruled out cos of ma location,

honeric01:
Ah How many you wan marry/friend?

As many as possible!! I am just joking !

honeric01:
By now, you should have gotten more than enough or ain't they enough yet?

NO!

omonija1:
These qualities you are saying about urself, how are u so sure about them? maybe Men see you differently than what you see yourself.
Maybe you are looking at the wrong places, what about arranged marriage?

I pray you find the man your heart desires.

God's time is the best.

Perhaps they do- I have yet to get any personal complaints about myself from anyone that has known me as of yet. Friend, suitor, or boyfriend! I do not walk around with a nasty attitude, or down talk anyone, and I take pride in my apperance at all times!  The issue at this point comes from finding the man as was originally stated in my original post. This thread has turned in to a bit of a circus, and has even turned to a match making service. lol FOlks think that they know who I am and have made their own assumptions of me, which is fine !!Botom line perhaps it is my location - but there is no over flow of the Nigerian poupulation here. People will read in to this what they want, and who am I to tell them other wise. Everyones point is well taken but at the end of the day like you stated GOD's time is best. I am not looking into arranged marriage just yet- still got some time to go, and some fun!

oYaTo:
Catch ma drift? 




On another note, I also think you should focus on what erasmus185 posted. .

You need to find out why this is so.

It could be the key to hooking up your dream man. .

no actually I don't, I left my email address so. The person I email woould know who they are getting an email. Stop looking so deep into mm things!!

oYaTo:
@Ladyjide. .

I noticed you're not willing to mail the guys, but you'd rather they mailed you instead. .

Any reason?

Not sure how you came to that conclusion but I have personally emailed everyone who has shown interest if your email address was clearly written!

^^ , my email is atcafricanprofessional@gmail com

SOPRANO:
@ Poater,

[b]It depend on what you consider quality. Men have similar traits irrespective of race or creed, it's all about about mutual respect and compromise. Personally, I think half of the Nigerian ladies on the east coast are more egotistic, conceided and too conservative for my liking. Then again, that's my personal opinion. That being said, i do admire their intellectual astuteness.
Another factor is the diversity of women of whom Nigerian men can to choose from. Nigerian men can easily date and marry ladies from other African countries , Caribean, Latinas, African American, even Oyinbo of which most Naija Ladies would probably not venture into. This scenerio minimizes the potential available candidates that Naija ladies can choose from.
Back to your question. I do have quite a few Naija men of quality mostly in the east coast that you might fancy, but u might need to have an open mind in order to see the potential embeded in them. That said, don't prejudge a man from his exterior qualities alone, but be docile and comprehend his internal qualities. Like they say, "Reformed Playas" makes the best husbands, so You have to open your heart for LUV to enter, [/b]

I am open , send me an email

mexxyaaron:
@ ladyjide

we got alot of reasons why educated females marry late or dont even marry at all,such as our educational system (for those in naija) they spend too much time in school and pusuit of careers after school while for those abroad is too much western civilisation cus marriage are not respected and regarded in the western world (alot of divorce cases,lesbianism,gay) which in turns does not encourage anyone to get into cus they feel they its not for them.

secondly,not enough well paying jobs for the guys who are gonna marry this ladies cos they would wanna treat them like queens so we guys tend to shy away especially if she is a sophisticated/big girl.even if u do like her alot,u tend to have cold feet when it come to marriage cos she might  have either dated richer guys in the past and wont want to lower their standard and thereby making the guy to get cold feet from asking  her out(some would want to say he is not man enough but i disagree on that  cos money gives u some kind of self confidence)

thirdly,some ladies/ guys are just not serious to themselves.the girls want a prince charming with everything,why cant u make him a prince charming and get real with reality while the guy are just plain silly cos they think they have all the time in the world to play around,so they become players.

fouthly,i honestly feel both gurls/guys should be real to themselves and stop attaching so much to material stuffs,beauty and look for the inner beauty and me happy(not saying make u go marry monkey )

Point well taken.

Kobojunkie:
Absolutely . . . so why did you feel need to post SUPPORT for it? Are those of us with opposing opinions somehow not supposed to voice our opposition because it will be done anyways?

Sigh! When you get to answering the questions asked, let me know!

I AGREE, and because our point is valid the best way to change subject is to say-forget it, whats done is done??!! Double standard

erasmus185:
wedballs made a very valid point.

Sorry to disappoint you ladyjide you are not soft at all. You need to work on yourself.I am not perfect too,I work on myself everyday to be better.

Sincerely I am the kind of 'quality' guy you described in your post, also very well read and well travelled. When I meet ladies like you,I like them, make them good friends BUT never consider them a wife material (no offense intended).

Ok- Quality guy, YOU know me so, f you say I am not soft - then I am not, and the day still progresses, and the world still goes around!! No tears here!

Tosinville:
Well i didn't blame some parent (most especially yoruba ppl) like ma tribe who gives birth abroad nd bring those kids back to nigeria to learn yoruba culture jus in case of their future. Livin d whole life in america as already turned some folks into something else nd its obvious through d way d poster is typin shows she has some kinda pride in her can easily upset a 9ja dude, wit dis a rltnship can't last i swear especially wit a yoruba guy was trained how to respect, honor d elders etc so its beta u focus on american blk guys nd erase naija guys outta your damn memory, feel me? @poster.

And I was trained to do what as a Yoruba woman, and I was raised as a child where? Talk what you know- other wise leave speculation! Honestly to date I have never had an issue with a Naija man as far as pride, respect being submissive,, etc, so I don't belive that I will ever get my desire for a Nigerian Man out of my mind.

MrLoverMAn:
@ Ladyjide

lol
Your posts make me laugh you are quiet passionate about this topics.

You need to ignore some of the posts on here, like I have learnt to do.
Its either they are ignorant, or know the truth but just decide to play devils advocate and wind people
up with their crazy views. Or its a case of their surroundings Moulding their views.

BTW Ladyjide, aren't you in the states, its the early hours of the day , isnt it ?

All in fun- especially in  a good debate!!! I am sure they know the truth!!!  I am in the states its almost 6 am here!!! I work the late shift here- so I am a night owl. will catch some zz's in a few hrs!!!

SA Goddess:
Cork wants an illeterate wife for a reason, he never wants to be exposed . . .

Cork in my opinion if both you and your wife are illiterate then it wont work!! Someone in the house needs to be able to teach your children!! Seek woman that can at least write their own name!

Mr Cork:
I touch a womans Nyansh anytime I want. I have moiney and I won nice Cars and Jeep (BMW X5 2009). Its just the way it is, women must be submisive

always coz u are meant to please us. Push your edukation to one side and just pls us, thats all we ask!!!  No stress.

SA Goddess is one of the most difficult COokies on Niaraland. She playin hard to get and she dont want to submisiive

Now I am pulling your cards-  Having money means what, ? First its 2010 brother - upgrade yourself- I have! They are already selling 2011 models!! Some woman are blinded by shiny things *hence cars, jewlery etc, but now when my car is better than yours, and I match you dollar for dollar and then some- You are now   intimidated and you run, ? Because you cant feed me with lies and bulls&it, Secondly,  Are you even educated your self- the way you are talking doesn't say that!

Mr Cork:
And again, how many very well educated women have husbands?  just 2%!!!

What is wrong in being submisive?  Thats the main reason why Men cheat. I blame women!!! (no offense)

Maybe in your imaginary world its 2%, but that number is way larger!!!! I pray that of your daughter wont fall in to that category of the un educated!!  You cheat because that is the choice you make- be a MAN and be accountable for your actions!!

wedballs:
single men are hidding in your neighbourhood

"to see what u are looking for you must look beyond what you see"

Something to ponder on!! Deep

dboss4life:
The reason why alot of marriages are ending up in divorce this days is because women no longer want to be submissive to their man again as a result of one useless certificate they have acquired that will get them no where.

No the reason why a lot of marriages are ending in divorce is because as a society we deem divorce acceptable. It is now ok to stand before GOD on the altar and make vows, and not stick to them?  All for the sake of my wife isn't submissive enough to me!! Lets get a grip folks!  If you cant tolerate an educated woman, because you have no education yourself- then do not marry her ass!  Education, and submissiveness do not go hand in hand- it deals with family up bringing. Being educated is not permission to ignore one's husband- as being a man does not give you the license to abuse a woman! Men get your ego in check-and deal with it. Think of this educated woman turns to be your daughter or sister?

MOBO444:
I have read all the reply here and to be honest i am still very much disappointed in the women folks in general, and the funny things is all them women folks always live to regret it, most especially the once that went to small school, most of them now try to buy husband these days (but it not working).
 They have to be submissive to we MEN and their mothers always mislead them anyway, their mother want to re live their failed life in their daughter.

You guys talk this submissive stough, but have completely abused the meaning! Being submissive  is all about choice. It is a commitment to lift up your man, while encouraging him, and being his helpmate through life while allowing him to be the head of your household. It is not the same as being subservient, or being a slave . It does not mean being weak, helpless, or inferior. I can still be educated, and be submissive! I can still have my own opinion and be submissive!!!!! In the Biblical sense, the term submissive does not mean bowing and scraping to your husband, or allowing him to use you at his whim. In fact, men are suppose to esteem their wives and love them as much as they love their own lives. The idea that the choice to be submissive means women can be mistreated is just bull s*it!  Women were never intended to be doormats! Men these days especially in Nigeria are starting to  abuse this privilege. The Bible instructs men to be leaders of the household, but over and over, leadership roles are described as serving those whom one leads. A scripture reference that elaborates this point is Ephesians 5:25. "Husbands, love your wives as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her." That doesn't sound like a license to use one's wife or treat her as inferior.

fxskye:
We are at it again,

Y spending such huge sum on a means of transport for just Mr. President & his entourage? Lack of scale of preference is being displayed by our president.

He should have directed the money to Air Nigeria as suggested by the poster.

Jonathan does not fit to be our next president.

So far so good, I have not heard or seen a nigerian worthy to be president of this great country among those that aired out their minds to contest come 2011 polls.

I agree!!

omonija1:
Read this entire thread, :O dont know why, maybe cos I'm looking for answers too, Interesting thread, learns one thing or the other.

BTw what i picked up from your postss is that you sound too aggressive, are you a soft person?

I am soft when I need to be , as I am a woman at the end of the day. I am aggressive when the time calls for it and am well aware how to separate the two! I am not exactly a pit bull in a skirt- at least not all the time (lol)

pac2:
Visit naija and make some friends. I tried that last year and i hope to try again this year.
They are a lot of serious single Men and Women waiting and praying for the right person.

I see

No way!!

I have never heard of such procedure before!!

Ignorance is bliss in the USA!

A darn shame!!

[quote author=paddy_lo link=topic=495565.msg6558641#msg6558641 date=1281580192]Why not housing,food,clothes. . .why just stop at election. . .why not put everything in order first before u buy a plane

U say election,how about i say no,i need lagos state to be paid the money to help with infrastructure there

U see your arguement is not teneble,cause u are joining 2 mutually exclusive events together

Every political office holder in the world is funded at the expense of the people of the country. . .glad u just figured that out

Well the money for the election has been released. . .so perhaps u should drop it and move on[/quote]You say one thing I say another- we can agree to disagree- bottom line there are way more pressing issues than airplanes for the President in Nigeria that need funding- as I originally stated before you started throwing out your post. You just now, reiterated what I said !! Thanks! One hand washes the other- and it all starts with ELECTED officials, I will drop it, since you are becoming up tight about it!! RELAX

[quote author=paddy_lo link=topic=495565.msg6558582#msg6558582 date=1281578328]The elections spending is emergency spending that comes every 4yrs. . .and Why are u harping on election,when the money has already been released. . .

bottom line,our president needs brand new planes for the fleet [/quote]I am harping because the election is by far more important than a plane! He needs a brand new planes- At the expense of the people of Nigeria??----not everything that you say you need should you get !!! It is emergency spending that should be preplanned- it comes like CLOCK work every four years, not a surprise!