₦airaland Forum

If he is your guy - then tell him. He would respect you for it later. If the person I love cant tell me I have body odor or bad breath then , who is suppose to  tell me ? Someone on the street?.  Personally I would be turned off------but to each its own. Recommend he take his tail to a dentist to see if he has some kind of infection -if basic brushing and flossing does not help. There is nothing worse than bad breath. Hopefully he is not professionally employed, bad breath is a great way to kill a business deal!!  Also if all else fails get him some Listerine strips, throw one in his mouth when he begins to speak These things work wonders!!

https://www.creativemag.com/images2000/ListerinePocketPak24%27s.jpg

Sometimes you can love someone so much that you just need to let them go. In this case I believe that this is the case, both of them will not fully be happy if they decide to stay together. I am sure they are both miserable these days, staying with each other , with this thing over their head. It does not mean they love each other any less, or care about each other any less if they were to call it off. Bottom line your friend needs to make up his mind, on what is most important to him, and not let any other factor come in to play with that.

Was he acting this way from the beginning of your relationship? If he was not- then I would confront him- and see what is happening! Maybe that he is cheating, or no longer attracted to you. Personally I would not take no for an answer, TAKE what you want !!

aminalib:
your friend is a dumbass,

Ha!! Same thing I was going say, !!!

jay bee:
Why not as long as i can pay my own share of the bills (I'd go with a 60/40 sharing formula where I'd be hugging the larger percentage)

you would still take that same percentage even if she earned more?

I would consider myself a ride or die chick to a certain extent, but for the most part- I am not going be out in public   fighting, takes too much energy and I have too much to loose, and I was always told ladies don't fight( unless provoked) but I AM always prepared with some choice words in my back pocket (maybe I have a short fuse when it comes to disrespect)!!

I would not go ahead with the marriage unless I was ok with the fact that WE should not have children. Personally I am not ok with that so, I would have to move on to another relationship!

Hard question !!! I would like to see some peoples responses

Depending on why the ex is a ex, Sometimes it is best to let the past remain in the past,

Michole:
No I am complimenting Nigerian men and congradulating Nigerian women,  As far as the other info it's just a tidbit,  I am over that guy,  It wasn't serious anyway, at least that is the way I took it since he cut me off and placed me on house arrest so to speak,  Not confused, very clear minded now,  So, you really have had to be in my shoes to understand the topic at hand,

Ok cool- I thought you might have lost it for a minute, but,  Sometimes leaving someone is all the clarity one needs to get back to reality!! I guess this topic is really meant as a bit of sarcasm?? lol 

I think that this post is confusing - especially since the other day you started a thread- saying the guy you was seeing is a liar, and left you to marry his girlfriend, so is this a new guy now, the same one or are you just confused??

No- I do not think any mate can give their mate everything, but your willingness to[b] try [/b]is what makes the difference, I would give my mate the world if I could, and he should be willing to do the same. These days finding that type of person on both ends- male or female, is like finding a diamond in a hay stack!!!

I WOULD absolutely train my mate in a level of higher institution. I would not even think twice about it, if that was something that he wanted to do, as I would hope he would be willing to do the same for me! Now his education level would not be the basis of my love for him or the center of our relationship.
In your own situation, I do not think her level of education should be the determining factor in whether you should marry her or not or whether you think she can become a good wife. Education is important but has nothing to do with the levels of peace, reasoning or logic in a relationship. One can hold 10 degrees, but really suck at being a mate and not one day have any peace! Obviously you have other doubts about your relationship that you should come clean with. 10 years is a long time, for you not to trust her-- and even think twice about whether you should continue with the relationship. Get to the root of your real problem, and then you may have your answer. That is what your questioning comes down to!

yorke:
~~~hey mobo,wats all dis your hatred connection with u and your black sisters? We need 2 treat them with great respect so that others race can as well.
U must have beee deeply hurt by so many black sisters.Beta pour out your mind,4giv n 4get,so that d healin process can take place.Remember black is beauty.

This is probably the nicest comment I have seen on Naira Land in my short time being a member!!

Dafemo:
@ladyjide you believe in karma, all you have to do is move on he will receive his reward when the time is ryt

Yes- I do believe in Karma,  What goes around does come around,  but I am not sure in this case of the OP.  How much of a reward of karma  is this guy really going to receive? Perhaps he really did love her? Perhaps he  really did love them both?  How is that a lie? Did he tell this girl he was going to marry her? I doubt it!! Sometimes as women we need to look with in our selves before placing ALL the blame on  men. People will only do to YOU what YOU let them.!!  Now do not take what I am saying as saying that the OP was wrong, but my point is that  as women we need to look at the complete picture  and not get tunnel vision. Just speaking the words "I Love you," is not a confirmation of commitment these days, until he says the big "I DO"! Once that happens, and you find out that he is a liar, then it is time for the wahala!! Until then you kinda have to take what you hear as a grain of salt.

NO- they look tacky!

What was the reason that they decided to do this style of wedding? Not feeling it, from the pictures it did not look so nice!

Well--- I guess she has stated her views, sounds a bit like a gold digger, but she wants what she wants!

This dress is ugly , they could have found a better Nigerian Dress for her

How lame are you----? You have the nerve to have a girlfriend, and be on here pressed for some kitty?, You might as well just give her the money---Pay to play!

Well since you are bold enough to create the thread, you might as well tell the rest of  NL who the man you are talking about is!!

   But to answer your question- karma is real, and what goes around does comes around.  I am not sure you can put yourself in the business of saying what he deserves, or if he doesn't deserve to be married. Hopefully being married will help him to  change his lying ways,  as that is a deeper commitment. Now if he starts cheating when he is married then , there is now a bigger issue, !

Take it as a learning experience, and  move on, Sometimes you have to go through trials, in order to get where you are going in life. Just  take this as your trial, and chalk it up.  You have just taken one for the TEAM- most of us women  do at some point in our lives.

dayokanu:
If no amount of money would compensate, then why bother monetizing it?

Would you rather be paid by a cheating Spouse?

So if Tiger was broke, what would have been her compensation?

The thing is Tiger was wrong for cheating on her and she was just another gold digging LovePeddler.

Why not walk away and forget about the compensation as long as Tiger takes care of the kids?

One thing we cant do is compare a normal cheating spouse to this situation. This happens all the time when it comes to divorce. This situation stands out because Tiger is worth a lot of money, but paying a spouse when divorcing is the norm in the United States. If my husband cheated on me, for one thing-the whole world would not know about, and it wouldnt be a media circus!

I would rather my spouse not cheat at all, Give me the same respect I give you-

If Tiger was broke----she would have took half of what little he did have----the same goes for a woman, If they divorce and she was the one with the money ---- then he would have gotten half of what she has!! Its the law in this country- and that is simply what happens, It happens all the time with broke ass men, who try and take wealthy women for what ever they have, Do we now call those men gold diggers?

Why should she walk away with NOTHING-----he is the reason the marriage broke off---not her, HE cheated--NOT HER-----He dis honored his family - NOT her, so why now should she be punished? Or guess she should have stayed with his cheating ass??

Why is she another gold digging LovePeddler? Because she is getting half of what her husband is worth--That is the normal thing these days.Now its a big situation because her husband is worth Millions--and now she is a gold digging LovePeddler because of why?? She wasn't the one out screwing everything that moves- He is the LovePeddler!!

dayokanu:
Well with the gold digging nature of women nowadays, I guess its safe to have an iron clad pre-nup in place.

"Your money is our money, My money is mine" ideology and yet they in the same breath scream gender equality.

Elin clubbed Tiger and no one is talking about domestic violence the same way they screamed when Chris brown was involved.

So how does money compensate for cheating? what price does she pay for the physical abuse? With Tigers money she lived a life she couldnt have worked for in 100 lifetime and now she wants compensation? Tiger cheated. She beat him up, In law abuse should be worse. But you never know with all these gold digging women.

What about the lying, cheating disrespectful nature of men these days. When will those that commit adultery  be made  accountable for their actions!!! Men, stop lying, stop cheating and stop being sloppy about your AFFAIRS !!!!,   He has completely humiliated her and their entire family with his tactics, and what price is that worth? No amount of money will get that back for her, no amount of money will help ease that pain.  She is wrong for clubbing him, YES, but by far the pain of what she has suffered in that of Tiger Woods hands is felt way harder, than any black eye or hit over the head that he suffered - any day. To me no amount of money is worth having my pride taken away, or finding out that the man that I stood before GOD and vowed too, is nothing but a liar, and a cheat, He was out Sexing random whores, probably not even using protection and  he wasnt even careful enough to ensure that he did not get caught, so obviously he didnt care!  Why should he care about some MONEY now, and from the looks of things the amount he is paying her isnt even putting a dent his pockets??    No money is worth me  being made a complete fool of in front of the whole world and not to talk of my friends and family. Bottom line he should have thought about the money before he committed the crime when he was sexing these girls, if it mattered to him that much!!

You can try and take over the financial aspect of your household, by using the money to pay all of your bills FIRST, and then using what is left over for some of these purchases he is making, Perhaps sit down, and develop a budget for the household, and present it to him, and see what he says, It does not hurt to try! He may like the fact that you took the initiative and will go for it.

Being drunk is no excuse for getting that waisted that you loose complete control of what is happening around you . Some one might have slipped her a little something extra for her to get to that point!! Poor girl would hopefully have learned something from this, and not went out the next night to do it all over again!!

uhmmmm, I had to go back and re read, You knew he had a girlfriend when you met him? Well karma is real, and you are  getting bad karma back,  ! " What goes around comes around. Bottom line QUIT him, unless you like being the side woman? Seems like you already accepted that role,  and perhaps you may like it. So you can't blame him in this, blame YOURSELF. So gather your self, and take what little dignity that you have left and find your own man or soon enough you will be his mistress when he marry's the girl he is really with.  Move on with your life with out him.

You can't force love, Just because someone loves you- does not mean you are obligated to love them back. She should go with her feelings, because in the long run it will be worse. Her boyfriend deserves to be with someone that feels the same about him, as he does her. Good luck to them, but it is best she quit the relationship sooner than later, The longer she drags it on, the harder it will be!

I respect your views but disagree entirely, What happened to providing for your self as a woman? Love your self first!!! Paying the bills is the easy part, now saying I love you is what counts in my book, and that should be genuine.  Nourish your self, dress your self and take care of your self,  What did you do before you had a man, or did those bills not get paid? Some of us woman have to wake up, and realize what is more important, having my bills paid or having your dignity?  Time to increase your hustle LADIES, and that hustle should not involve what you have between your legs. Know your worth and if you don't , No man will!

dayokanu:
^^ I chop knuckle with them

I will try that one-next time I see my dad- and see what he does!! I will tell him Dayokanu taught me that~

dayokanu:
Do you prostrate to greet your dad and any elderly person or just an handshake is enough?


Do you prostrate to greet the traditional ruler of your community of just a handshake?

No--------I give my dad a pound -----and I give the traditional ruler----- a high five!! (LoL)
* I am really joking- I know some folks will take this my comments seriously,

Now what do you do Dayokanu?

49cents:
@ Ladyjide
I can see you alone trully understand the points i raised, esp that we only just met the relationship is celibate by choice
This is exactly my point, ladies down here must WAKE UP and get some self respect, i feel guys are not helpin them to realise they should not need them for mundane things like making their hair simply becos they are havin carnal knowledge of her

It was a sour experience cos i thot she was still not on that page goin by her age.
thanks a bunch ladyjide for your brutal objectivity esp that ladies CAN be independent if they set their minds to it

Yeah- I understand exactly what you are saying, I definitely get it---I think I should write a book, Bottom , just RUN man and dont look back!!!