₦airaland Forum

BOIBIGGS:
why are most black women naturally angry?

Here starts the debate, I quote- "Walk a day in my shoes and then one would understand my struggles!" Same for black men- The same reason MOST black men are unemployed, can't keep a job, come from broken homes, have multiple baby mamas, can not speak good English and can not get a damn break(handout) in this world to save their lives!--- All of what I said is quite ignorant but it is what most folks think of when they think of Black men- People who subscribe to that stereo type or question why MOST black women are naturally angry- or why most BLACK men are the way that they are- have absolutely no idea what it is to be just that " BLACK! " not to speak of being BLACK and a woman!

Yes- I am saying that because if I am calling him my boyfriend I should completely trust him.

Seems to be a debate this year among my friends. Do you invite the person you are casually dating to your family home for Christmas or do you reserve that invitation for someone you are serious about?

*I personally reserve such an invitation for someone that I am serious about but some may say differently!

Hell NO!!!

Wow- perfect summary  ! If there were even men who were willing to do just half of that I would not be single!!

Why are you still calling her your wife?

kokoye:
I have several female friends. I have no problems with it since I grew up with 4 sisters.

But yea, ladies need to be careful - men can tend to wanna take that opportunity. I once did - back when I was much younger. But the females caused it . . some called me a slacker for not making a move on them. So that was my reason back then.

Iru ere wo l'aja b'ekun se?  o fe pa je ni.

False sense of security!! I know it too well!!

kokoye:
I have hooked up two of my female friends and they are both happily married. A 3rd is currently in the works.

Thanks for the hook up--- will ensure you are best man at the wedding!! * in my sarcastic voice!!

Disclaimer-*This topic was taken from an article in Essence Magazine and the thoughts are not my own"

Can a man and a woman have a strictly platonic relationship who has your back no matter what? "Some will say that one person in the friendship will remain your friend in hopes that one day there'll be a crack in the door, a chink in the armor,   Most times it is the man in the friendship and trust and believe that guy that you think is just your friend -- will try and  slide in that crack the moment he gets the opportunity because they are  guys."

What is your take on it?

Just keeping it real! Love u back!

^^^^ Yes- but,






I am a

COWARD,

dont u repeat that !!

^^^^^^But what of girlfriendDifferent thing be discussed!

Oh my dear kokoye!!!!Depending on what the lie entailed or who it hurt? But when one is lying just for the mere sake of telling a mate what you think they want to here- then I call you a coward!!

kokoye:
^^^
So, Ladyjide, would you lie to save a life?

Liars are cowards!!! I had to come back and say that!!

Most men can not even handle one " girlfriend" not to talk of two!

Tell me the truth!! If the truth hurts you are living a lie!!

"You are a model for ideal womanhood and if there is anything like a perfect woman the description needs to start from you"

lagerwhenindoubt:
Current trends are changing for Corporate women in Nigeria. My office has quite a lot of young, intelligent, rich and beautiful women but only few look like they are getting married anytime soon. It has become a silent issue, each year passes without an engagement, wedding or babies. I am beginning to believe Nigerian Men are afraid of Ambitious women or is it that the Standards Ambitious Woman are now to high for us

Standards are high is what I think!

adaphik:
Wahala dey oooo. I don taya. Men don't like liabilities and they equally do not like independent ladies. So what do they like?

A Mute with a nice body!

SOPRANO:
[/b]@ ladyjide,

  just gat bck in town after few months away, was on a project in NYC and the contract just ran out, i'm so glad to be outta NY tho, how's philly?, did the individual link u up yet?, it totally skipped my mind. hope u staying outta trouble, [b]

In New York- and you didnt buzz- Shame on you! My back door- Philly is good though, cold, and snowing! Link up? Not sure what individual you are speaking of, lol Long time now! Trouble is my middle name-- and you know how I do- never a dull moment!

SOPRANO:
[/b] @ tpia,

U r always on point, you have a neutral and transparent analogy in most of your posts, keep it up.

@ ladyjide,

how r ya, long time. hope u r doing gud,
@ OP

your topic ought to be: "why do Some" not lots. you do have a slight point tho, I've seen coleagues with impressive educational and financial arsenal having problem either getting a man or keeping one, they mostly settle for anything called "M.A.N" once the clock start running out. and it's mostly due to the fact that they were very picky when they were in their prime in settling down. However; that does not indicate that most of them are in the same pool of cumbersome relationships or lack of it, [b]

Life is great, been laying low, lol how are you?

ZIM DRILL:
your experience is from outside point of view dear

you dont know the reason why they really break up

does that number of men who sleep doing nothing  out number those men who work hard to provide for family? and doesthose  fathers who work for thier family ever cry foul on woman for not working ? not they dont they soldier on

so makes those woman special if the nigga aint working why cant they soldier on like the rest of man who provide for their family

I have no idea about the original poster- this is just a general debate---at this point,
For how long do they soldier on?, bull sh*t----- If you have to clean gutters to provide for your family you should do so, Be A Man- not just by simply being called a MAN, Letting your WIFE soldier on for the long haul is not acceptable while you sit home and play video games! Things happen, dont get me wrong and I am not talking of the temporarily unemployed, A real man will do or should do  what he has to do to provide for his family regardless especially a Nigerian man!!!  Now if your wife is now assuming all of the head of house rolls because you are not taking those roles seriously, you get what you get!!

kokoye:
my comment with 'fight' was in quote, remember? we never had a fight, just heated related discussions

. .and of course you won   _{who I am to win a fight with a lady}

How nice!! lol I always like a good debate- never that serious as some on here may take it!!

kokoye:
ladyjide, for some strange reason, I knew you would be ALL over this thread.


but good you are saying 'some', 'most' and not 'all' men. . . or else our 'fight' will start again 

You know me too well!! Missed me?  Luckily I dont remember our fight, I must have won?!!!lol

adolfe bad:
If i may ask~
what do you mean 'men are not filling up their roles'. . .what proof do you have for that or you are one of THOSE being led blindly by the 'media'?
As far as everyone knows. . .there are as many responsible men as there are irresponsible ones~
besides what has that got to do with the educational quests of a lady or do you mean to tell me you had all your present bags of qualification simply becuz 'men are not filling their roles'?

. . .pls i'd be more pleased if your talk can hold waters

I speak from experience these days on this,  I speak from seeing all the single mothers raising children alone, with no help from the fathers, I speak from seeing tons of broken homes or men not working and the woman going out to work while the men are left home to sleep! These days I am not sure if the responsible men's are equal to that of the responsible ones- in my own age group!   For every man that is- I can show you 5 that are NOT- Sad but true!!! I can only go on what I see- Despite that I do know much better, because my father filled those rolls and now my own brother!

I was taught that I need to work hard for what I want and not to count on anyone to give me anything. I have my present bag of qualifications on my own merit yet I do not allow that aspect of my life to define who I am or how I treat anyone for that matter especially in a relationship.    Not all women who are educated look down on others, or feel the need to make a man feel like scum just because he is less educated or less money.  What one has can be taken away in the blink of an eye- and I am aware!!!!!!  JUST  a man that is  trying  is what matter!!!!  My  whole point is going in circles but   regardless of how much more educated a woman is than a man-- if the man is providing, leading and protecting his household--nothing else will matter regardless of how educated his mate is as long as he is making an effort! Show me effort- I show you respect! As long as a man can put his ego to the side~

ZIM DRILL:
tell us the role of a man since you end taking care of his business

I will start with the basics -Provide, Protect, Lead the house----- If as a man you are providing for our household, protecting our household, and leading the house in decisions, you are taken care of your business!!!. Whether I am educated or not- I believe a MAN should do those things!! A  poor man should be able to at least provide that and growing up that is what my own father did---- These days you don't see that as much!! Shame

adolfe bad:
One thing i constantly ponder is~
why does excessive education have to take away the life of a lady and hand her in replacement an 'artificial mentality'?
Let us define great heights of qualification. . .and then the roles of a woman. . .
i am yet to find a common alliance between the two~

if a man turns a prodigy it dosn't stop him from occupying his roles as a MAN. . .
My question is amidst this fast advancing world of ours~
WHY does every lady-PRODIGY want to forget her roles as a WOMAN and step into the much COVETED shoes of a MAN instead. . .

Let us define the rolls of a man! If the woman feels the need to step in the much COVETED rolls of the man-- then obviously he isnt filling those shoes well in the first place! In a house hold where a man is taken care of his business there are not too many woman who will deny him his respect as a man, educated or no educated!

jay bee:
Not necessarily hun. Men are more than happy to show off their respective educated or gorgeous partners if they are the reserved type.
Would you date a Professor that mocks your intelligence or better still put you down all the time cos of his superior intelligence?

It works both ways. No one likes feeling inferior and since most educated women oozes arrogance they just see that need to announce to the world and flaunt the fact that they are.

Point well taken, but Most time it is about jealousy- and has nothing to do with boasting- just about feeling inferior. Some egos cant take it and will pick a make else where rather than deal with the thought of it!

kokoye:
^^^

when and where does that hold

Maybe only in my world!! I created that day!!

jay bee:
In the contest of a relationship?
Being boastful about achievements as well as having the mentality of "why need a man when i can as well achieve all i aspire for"

Seems more about jealousy than anything. Why are we both not happy for my achievements? If a women has that mentality " I dont need a man for anything"then she gets what she gets, bottom line! I have a laundry list of things I need a man for, lol!

ebonyvibe:
ladyjide

i agree with you 100%

I am just a bit tired of hearing the same ol thing- about educated women- They are arrogant, they are Bit*chy, they are rude, they will never find a man etc, Some of it may be true all of it may be true in fact, NOW men show me a man with BIG enough balls to take a woman like this and calm her a*s down!! Not very many out there. Most women who act like this do so because they have NO other choice!!

jay bee:
Being educated is not written on one's forehead so i disagree about being overlooked. Arrogance gets discovered once the person opens his/her mouth.

Point taken- but what is your definition of arrogance sir Jay?

jay bee:
GBAM
we see it has arrogance 

Most "men" mis interepret "arrogance" anyway - If your chick does not know when to leave her work life at work- then there are bigger issues. Most times women who are educated are just overlooked despite whether she is arrogant or not!!

Basildon1:
It's ok o, confident @ 36yrs - i enjoy that kinda confidence. 4 yrs to the big 40! U know she will be the first REAL educated female so i guess the others are not confident and just docile.

I can not really speak for the woman in question in this post but she wouldnt be the first to not find a mate at that age, and be 36! Who really knows what her issues are with finding a mate

ZIM DRILL:
some men aint

but the problem is with most women they think they now have balls, yes they have balls when only  it comes to her field i.e the field she did aquire the certification but not  in general life i.e just being a woman

most of these woman want to apply her top class qualification in a relationship/ marriage  HOW many men are top managers, CEO, presidents but there are humble in there relationships they dont take the bossness from work into the relationship

Being respectful, and humble in a relationship should be a given. Titles and education should never be a determining factor on how one is treated in a relationship and by  no means should one bring bossiness home with them! Leave work at work. In response to your statement though- My thing is  this:   these days most men who call themselves MEN do not use the balls they have.  There for as women we now have to play rolls as if we have balls.!  Please do us all a favor and  dont call yourself a man and want us as woman to give you 100 % respect  if you are not fully able to take those responsibilities that come with the title of being a man! If you are the king of the castle and what your woman to treat you as such, then be prepared to do all things that come along with that title!

Only on PFF's ( PANTY FREE FRIDAYS!!!

Most time men ARE intimidated by an educated woman! In all actuality I feel education has nothing to do with it- more about attitude, and most of us educated women do posses a particular attitude that can be misinterpreted by a lot of men ( especially the Nigerian man). Some feel that it is bi*chy but I myself will call it confident.