₦airaland Forum

@Queensmith:
Stop asking childish questions.
Stop dabbling into things you are not yet equipped to deal with!
Issues being discussed are "too serious" to be turned into a "Man Vs. Woman" internet rant!
You are trying to turn this into a "back-and-forth" argument!

For example, how much does it cost to"maintain a child" or show responsibility,  that 50Cent wont be able to afford?

Just one record label of his would "financially" take care of any child for life, even if im dey chop Gold dust!

Finally, HOW does a father for example "play a fatherly role" in his child's life, WHEN THE MOTHER HAS A BARRING ORDER AGAINST HIM?
Read my post if you dont know what a Barring Order entails or Google it.
I dont see any "magician" playing any fatherly role (except dashing money!) to a child from a 5KM radius to wherever that child's mother decides s/he has to be!

Or is "fatherly role" all about dumping Dollars on the Mothers lap?

Get married first and take it from there.  Too inexperienced!

Lastpage!

@fork addict (That name fear me no be small!   )

To God be the Glory as you suggested!
Part 3 is in the piping while forum members read, digest and respond to parts 1 & 2.

Which Kontiri l dey? Which Kontiri l don traverse?
"Experience" is gained by "painstakingly listening and observing", coupled with wisdom, especially that which says "Be eager to listen but be very slow to speak".
These Evil happens in "ALL THE WESTERN COUNTRIES", but America, U.K, Ireland and Germany Are the worst culprit!

Cheers.

Part 2:
To make matters worse, even the children that you cherish and pay "child support on" (ofcourse, that is just your contribution to her jewelry and shoes addiction ), she would prevent you from seeing them since she's got a Barring Order [/b]against you!

Because of such relentless abuse, a lot of men, especially Caucasians get very desperate. Everywhere they go, the "system and your wife" have erected insurmountable "roadblocks" for such men. [b]At times, its worse for black men, especially the very disciplined ones who are not into socializing (They suddenly find themselves without anybody, no friend, no family!).
Again, the depression will then set-in. It will affect his job and he gets sacked eventually! Now he is not only homeless, he is also jobless!
His car is repossessed as he can keep up payment!

The slip to the bottom could be so drastic that many of them go into insanity!

But the wife is even adding salt to the injury as she goes about boasting of "How she has dealt with him and ruined his life" while enjoying his life sweat with her new lover-boy!

What do you think such men have to live for? NOTHING!
This is the Genesis of marital suicide, when it involves wife and children, all over the western world.

The husband becomes a "caged animal", his life is completely and permanently ruined and he knows it!

If he does not have a strong faith or just about anything to "keep hi head together" He either goes mad (walks about muttering to himself all day! and eventually gets deported back home; they call them brother America or Brother London, in Lagos )
Or if he is the vengeful type, as most Caucasians are, he will simply play a game of "its neither mine nor yours",
what Yoruba peeps call "Ti adie ba'da mi l'agboo nuuu, maa fo'leyin" (Literally "If the chicken over turns my bowl of medicine, l will retaliate by breaking all her eggs, tit-for-tat).

In essence, the end result is a Newspaper story, and we read them everyday: Man sets self and family ablaze or Man kills wife and drives self and children over the cliff or Man gun downs whole family!

Most annoying is that at that point, those that contributed to such tragic story are the same ones that come around to conclude that the man was crazy! Of course, he has to be crazy to do such evil but WHAT MADE A NORMAL, RESPONSIBLE MAN GO INSANE?

I have gone to great lengths to "share this episode" in an bused man's life because l am aware that there are "naive people" like moremi2008 who for the sake of love, marry in Nigeria and then tale their wives abroad, for better standard of living or even married abroad without "proper safeguards" thinking Abroad is like Nigeria where your wife cant ruin you beyond repair!

Its a different ball game, THINK TWICE BEFORE YOU MAKE THAT MOVE.

Lastpage!

BTW: This write-up is not made up, it is common phenomena in the western world and even females here would bare witness to seeing/ hearing something like that. More importantly, IT IS NOT AN INCITEMENT AGAINST MARRIED WOMEN, as a happily married man myself, l hate situations that break marriages or put either party in jeopardy! If you ask for my personal opinion (which l am known never to be shy in giving), l will say this: The system as it is NOW, is UNFAIR and INEQUITABLE TO MEN. I ask women especially to look at it objectively and think "if that "Husband" was my first son", what would be my opinion?
Again, this is just "one-side" of the story; There are "slowpoke, despicable men" who also abuse their wife. I will write about such men also, using examples l have seen or heard.
Cheers.

@Moremi2008

Why would your wife be emotionally abusing you in your own house? You no get balls? Even if the house belongs to her, you no fit comot and leave her to continue abusing the empty house? Life is not that hard oh, my bros.

Two things are obvious from your posts:
1.) You are not yet married
2.) You live in Naija

My prayer for you is that even if you get married, you NEVER get to live abroad with an abusive woman!

'Cos if you do or if you see people wey do, you will have pity for manhood.

Husband abuse is the worst "degradement and indignity" a human-being can have.

Part 1:

With my "korokoro eyes" l have seen men who have considered suicide or serial murder, just because of the kind of abuse they get from their wifey!

It is very minimal in Nigeria 'cos no matter how wicked the wife may be, the man is still free to take his pants and RUN AWAY and that would be it Dash her everything and disappear!

"Abroad" is a very different kettle of fish!
Before l share story for your face let me give you a few posers:

*Have you ever wondered why most men abroad, usually end up killing the wife and kids and then committing suicide?
Now this is very bad but the question is what would drive a "normal man" (loving father to his kids, good job, e.t.c) to do such thing, even to the same kids he brought to this world?

We've heard stories of those who will burn everyone in the family home including themselves or some who will Gas everyone to death? 
Why not even spare the kids or himself?

The answer my friend, lies in Frustration and extreme Desperation!

As if the wife's abuse is not enough, the state (Police, Judiciary and Civil Service) would do everything to further help the woman make his life very miserable, even if he tries to RUN AWAY!

If she slaps you, you better keep quiet and say thank you  ma, 'cos if you dare as much as raise your voice, she just needs to pick her phone and dial "emergency number" and Police will be faster to your door than if they rang them that a child is trapped in a burning house! Next, they would work you out into the cold and you'd be lucky if you're wearing something warm!

After walking you out of the house you bought with your money (and still probably paying mortgage on! ), she would then file for a barring Order which will pronto put you in jail if they see you within 5Km radius of wherever she goes! If you spot her enter the same Supermarket with you, you beter drop everything  and run away otherwise, your behind will roast in jail for 12Months!

After that she would again report you that you abandoned her and the kids!
That one is another criminal offense and you would be summoned to court, fined, jailed if you cant pay!

Then she would start collecting "abandoned wife" payments from Government![/b

As if that is not enough, she would file for "Wife Maintenance" which would be [b]deducted from your Salary, at source! If you loose our job and you dont get money to borrow to pay, you will again end up in jail!

But if you dont mind half of your income being deducted for her enjoyment, l am sure you would mind that she has put one Tom-boy on your matrimonial bed and she is forcing your kids to call him "Daddy"! The guy will use your TV to watch Sports channel and will wear your bathrobe to shower after dem finish "bedmantics" on your bed!
To crown it all, the lover-boy could be your next door neighbor or some young lad you're a decade older than. He is just a gigolo satisfying a rich, money-miss-road after Three-kids, middle aged woman!

Ensure you dont show your face o, jail no good for black men. I hear from the grapevine that a lot of good and decent black men die inside cos they could not bare being bleeped from behind, in jail!

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@Fhemmy

Na wa for all these yabbies on IBB oh . . .  wonder why so much hatred for him

What l fail to understand is when a grown-up man, albeit educated, makes this kind of comment!

It not just about being entitled to "your opinion", it is about about an examination of your moral fibre!

Even my people boys under 25years would not make such comment because they were around when Babangida unleashed terror on this country!
I understand hypocrisy.
I have seen a lot of "men-of-the-belly", who do U-Turns on the Expressway of Morality.
I have witnessed "poverty stricken individuals" who will sell their mother or children for a plate of porridge!
I even understand foolishness that makes an adult to think and behave like a kid!.

But l am yet to understand WHAT IT IS in SOME NIGERIANS, that causes them "intentional, self-induced Amnesia" so much so that they can act like they've forgotten when last they ate! It beats my imagination.

=> Is it the "Ejigbo murder" of about forty of the best of our Soldiers that l would mention?
=> Is it the "programmed to fail from the onset", very costly yet endless cycle of Political manipulations of teh NRC/SDP era that l should mention?[/color]
=> Is it the killing of fellow senior officers like Vatsa that l should think of?
=> Is it the self-enriching scam called Structural Adjustment Programme (SAP) that impoverished Nigerians the most and reduced their life savings o nothing, with the currency going from 75K = $1, to over =N=100 to $1 that l should remind you of?
=> Is it the endless murder of students of tertiary institutions or the murder of prominent Nigerians like Dele Giwa, Bola Ige, e.t.c?
=> Is it the embezzlement of the Gulf war Crude windfall to the tune of $2.8Billion (equivalent of almost $100Billionin today's value)?
=> Is it the murder of Bongos Ikwue and his only son begotten to Mariam, his wife that IBB snatched after killing him?
=> Is it for his position as the President and yet the Drug Czar of West Africa and CIA conduit for drugs via Africa, to finance wars and insurrections?
=> Is it for his treachery towards anyone and everyone he ever mingled with?
=> Is it for the murder of ken Saro Wiwa, the Oogoni activist who "peacefully" fought for "fairness" in resource sharing?
=> Is i for his "monetization of Nigerian Politics" and his Ghana-Must-Go approach to getting his way in everything, to the nations detriment?
=> Is it for his leadership in institutionalizing corruption in Nigeria?
[/color]
I can go on forever but l also know that for those that have decided to play the Ostrich in respect of IBB their benefactor, even a list compiled by an Angel, and as long as Lagos Hold-Up will make know difference.
I guess IBB deserves a garland of Roses, from the family of the people he murdered,  right?

Its sad that 'respected men' will sell their conscience for lucre!

It better to die poor but with dignity, than to die filthy rich with blood-stained money or die as assz-licker!

In this age of computerization, just like Oshiomole was reminded of what he used to say about fuel price increment, some ten years ago before he became a Governor, Just like Reuben Abatti was reminded of his treachery and "Chameleonic Somersault", for the sake of political appointment, l want to remind you that not a single line of your statements here will be forgotten!

You are not just "an internet pseudo-name", you are a real person that we all know!
Remember that the Evil that men say/do, lives with them! Nemesis catches up with people, with the speed of computer, nowadays!

(Shakes head in complete bewilderment   )

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@queensmith:
all this trash you're spewing shows that you're yet to get real.
Since you've not been found capable and eligible by any of your Nigerian nay black folks, the "ajekuu" Oyinbo that cant even buy his own wedding gifts that you hope to marry will "show you color" at the appropriate time.
You are here referring to women who cook for their husband as "dog", right? Cooking for your family is not "bouncing around in the kitchen". How old are you sef that you write such nonsense?
I've got news for you! Some of these women enjoy the best quality of marital life (peace on their home front and their husband literally worships them and does every imaginable hing for them! I am Yoruba and my wife is an example, and you confirmed it earlier!
And they've got great kids t show for it (my first sin will probably be close to your age and he is an Under-Gee in the University!

Dont worry, continue to live in your fools paradise, we all know that "Oyinbo man" will marry at least three-to-five times in a life time so you could just be number one!

I wouldn't even dream about your kind of woman, not even for a house gaarl! Of what use is a woman like you whom all she knows is to claim 21st century rants instead of being the "Coordinator" of a thriving family? How would you coordinate a family if you dont believe in "duties and responsibility" within the family"

Imagine the kind of "no-responsibility" kids that kind of marriage will also produce?
Hmmm, . , . I put you in God's hand even though you said you dont acknowledge him!

Lastpag.

BTW: Whether we like it or not, the Bible still remains a valid "reference point" for human behavior, its a question of whether humans want to honestly do as it says or they want to "pick and choose" what to believe.

@Queensmith

If you and your partner have agreed she will sit at home and care for the kids while you work then thats your agreement. Doesnt mean every woman must sit at home while her husband works.

in the 21st century and as a 21st century individual, i dont believe my husband MUST pay all bills because i also do not believe i was created to be domesticated, im not a household pet and have no intentions of sitting at home and doing anything. i will take no ownership over any kitchen or its utensils unless its a wine bar or a beer kitchen and neither will i leave all the bills on the table awaiting his payment.

You still have a long way to go!
My wife is an MBA+M.Sc qualified professional in a fortune 500 company! She can feed the whole extended family sef BUT as the husband, it is still my primary responsibility to "provide for the family".
What did the Bible call a man who cannot provide for his family sef? (not as in unemployed but as in LAZY!)

We will do all things and make all decisions TOGETHER, imho if most nigerian women adopted this rule they will not find themselves in the hell they call marriages! they shouldnt even deny it most of the marriages i have observed esp in yoruba households are bloody hell!

I hope this your idea will not be your greatest undoing in your up-coming marriage!

Even you yourself have confessed on this page that "Wow, your wife must be lucky"? Does that sound like someone in "a hell of a marriage"?
You see why l said l dislike inconsistent "flip-floppers"?

If you are lucky to have my own kind of husband, your life will be blissful all your whole days and some "we are in the 21st century" woman whose would-be husband cant even buy the "gifts he will use at his wedding except it is provided by his inlaws", (Tufiakwa, abomination!) will just be sounding "Wow, you must be lucky" for you!

You see, being able to afford to feed yourself does not mean your husband should not feed you neither does it make you a dependent!
Its all about knowing who is responsible for what, in a social setting. No Competition of any sort.

Lastpage!

^^^^^Chei-Chei-Chei!!! See wetin "computer-age" is causing!

So someone can remind Alhaji Abubakar that he was a "Sharia propagandist" when he was in Lagos in 2007?
So you reminded him he was someone who abuses power corruptly?

Now imagine if made IGP, would he be a closet supporter of Boko Haram, like Hafeez Ringim?

[size=14pt]Hmmmm, , . , . . , .The Evil that Officers do, lives with them, these days![/size]

Whether we call it "responsibility or duty", it still means the same thing!

Now, check out every human endeavor and you will find that their has always and there will always be duties/responsibilities for every one!

In the office, in church, in school, even in heaven (Angels have a duty/responsibility to worship God, singing Halleluyah to the utmost high!) and the family home is no-different.

How you share-out that responsibilities/duties between you and your husband, is a question of "understanding" within the two of you, as long as there is agreement/consensus.
Its my wife's duty to cook for us in the family but l probably do it more often than her (l can refuse to do it and she will gladly do it without fuss).
It is my own responsibility to put money down for food, mow the lawn, repair broken things in the house and she can help out if she wants but l would not begrudge her if she does not, its my duty!
When something needs been done, someone in the family (including children when it comes to washing plates and stuffs like that!) knows who to hold responsible and we dont squabble over who should have done it but left it undone; but anyone is free to help out.  Simple, is it not?

Believe me, if you see any social setting where everyone claims they have no duty or responsibility, chaos and anarchy eventually sets in 'cos no-one will own up or feel responsible for anything!

So,, if an "attacker" visits my home in the night and demands the door to be opened, l should send my wife to open the door and confront them while l hide in the attic? What would you say of me afterwards?

But then, why would l put my life on the line for the rest of the family?
It is because l am the "man/husband of the house" and the "protection of my family" is one of my primary responsibility. I will gladly lay down my life for any of them.

You see, some women like to be all sorts of things in a marriage, at different times, depending on which one gives them the best advantage at that point in time:  A wife, a weaker vessel, a competing partner, the Boss, e.t.c

Life is never like that, you win some, you loose some but in all, you cant eat your cake and still have it.

Lastpage!

First learn to read the "full reply" before responding; you might end up with a response that does you no good.

Secondly, you have deviated or willfully refused to take into cognizance, the impact of the word "primary" which qualifies the word "responsibility".
It shows that there are other responsibilities but that is one of the most basic!

Sexkillz has asked you a number of questions which border on the same "primary responsibility" of a wife an you have either dodged them or given an irrelevant response!

Again, l ask you: Dont you also live in "the age" where it is the wife's primary responsibility to bear children for the family?
Physiological burden or not, if you dont like it, GET A SEX CHANGE AND DONT BE A WIFEY!

he's english/ we may or may not have a traditional (we most likely will because i want to wear my fancy clothes) we dont pay bride price in my culture and its likely my parents will buy the gifts the groomspeople present themselves so everything is line with the fancy decorations. point please?

Point is: what manner of husband wont even buy the Gifts he wants to present at his wedding?
Tufiakwa, "Real men" do it the way Real Men have been doing it since ages! We put our money where our mouth is! 

I see you are yet to be married!
Anyway, since it is not one of your own "primary" responsibility (21st century wifey to be ) to bear children for your would-be husband, l wish  you as you wish yourself!

Lastpage!

BTW: I am the lucky one (not my wife!) in that l have a wife who knows her "primary" responsibility to our home and l dont mind taking it off her, by mutual consent.

[b]@queensmith:[/b]
l guess you dont also live in the age when it is the wife's primary responsibility to bear children for the family?  

While l understand that the meaning of the phrase "primary" in my comment, may be lost on you, l am sure the last paragraph of my comment couldn't be lost on you.

l dont like "flip-floppers", They are hypocrites!
.
.
.
Or "where are you from or which 'age' are u from sef"?

Lastpage!

@queensmith

Wow last page! Love it! Your wife is incredibly lucky! Are u Nigerian?

I am full blooded Nigerian o! Yoruba for dat matter!!

Its no biggy except where your wife starts thinking its your responsibility and acts it out. The,n l go show my Yoruba side!

I maintain its a wife's primary duty to cook food for the family just like its the husbands primary responsibility to bring food/money home for the family.
Events beyond the husband and wife's control may require a "mutually benefiting re-arrangement" of this primary roles but then it should be by mutual consent and one spouse should never use it to blackmail the other.


Lastpage!

I read that the President might just bypass the AIG's completely (early retirement for them) and appoint one of the five DIG's in line.

The point is Nigeria Police is so full of institutionalized corrupt, criminal and incompetent misfits that "trying to choose one" is like choosing between A Pot, A kettle and a Frying Pan!
All na black!

Lastpage

AS FOR BOKO HARAM
On the other hand, what are the objectives of BKH?
1) Islamize Nigeria: For a country whose constitution is secular, for a country where over half are Christians (or close to that), this demand is not only ridiculous, it is fool-hardy!
For a country where freedom of Religion is institutionalized, why would you want to engage in violence, just to force those who dont want to embrace your own God, to do so by force? Even God Himself does not force us to worship him.
Again, Religion should be a matter of individual choice and by conscience. Never to be imposed by government or any organisation.

2) Disband Western Education: Well, this itself shows how ignorant members of this sect are. There is nothing "Western" about education! Education is a body of knowledge developed from the ages, especially from the Middle and Far East.
Since we all speak different languages and have different cultures, everyone is free to "tinker and adapt" this knowledge to suit their needs. The Education China practices with that of France or America is no different except that they use different languages and infuse their culture into it.
Boko Haram, if it represents the interest of the whole North, is free to do that but should not use "mass violence" to do it.
Let the people embrace your idea, if they think it is the best for them.

3.) All Christians/ Southerners should vacate the North: Nigeria is still one, united country until it breaks-up.
Every Nigerian is constitutionally empowered to live anywhere within Nigerian boundaries, free of harassment and torture.
The above position of Boko Haram tantamounts to Treason!. You cannot deny other Nigerians their constitutional Right, using violence,based on an illegal and morally bankrupt demand!
This demand is crass nonsense. Imagine if Odua, MASSOB and MEND star using violence to make same demand? It is anarchy. If you want a country of your own (like Biafra did) then you call for a secession! You seceded from the country. You dont drive people away, you let them stay or leave, as they want.
This demand again, is immoral and cannot justify the use of violence.

4.) Stop killing Boko Haram Leaders: While l totally agree with BH on this demand, as l detest any form of extra judicial killing of "captured persons" (terrorist or not they should face the weight of the law but l also understand the peculiarity of Nigerian Judicial system, especially corrupt and compromised judges!) but l must hastily add that BH itself initiated this "tit-for-tat" by killing innocent people!
"Those who live in GLASS HOUSE should not throw stones"!

If you dont want your leaders killed, you should also not have engaged FIRST, in indiscriminate mass killings! You should not have killed innocent people just because they are not Muslims or not Northerners! By doing that you have already setup yourself for government targeted killings! You should have like MEND, set-up and identified your leaders publicly.

You should have set-up a "negotiating team" that everyone can identify publicly, to negotiate on your behalf (political arm) so that the world will know that you are not just the "criminal terrorist" as your action suggests but that you are a "Terrorist of Conscience".

For a Terrorist of Conscience, wanton killing is not the primary objective, it is a last option, when everything else has failed, to get attention to their primary objective or demand, so as to "discuss such mostly noble objective".

Finally, let me observe that if the government gives-in to the [b][/b]financial appeasement of this "criminal terrorists" called Boko Haram, other groups will spring-up, with just pure criminal intentions, devoid of any moral or noble creed, knowing how much they would get at the end.

There and then, Terrorism becomes a Business venture! A very dangerous business venture.

Lastpage.

As somebody not from the North (BoKo Haram) nor from the ND (MEND), l can look at both issues objectively. I am YORUBA by lineage.
Anyone who uses Violence, Mass Violence, to achieve an objective, IS A TERRORIST in the general sense

AS FOR MEND:
started with a "request for fairness" in benefiting from the resources that belongs to Nigeria as a whole, more so when that resource lies in their "backyard".
I have been to virtually all parts of the South-South and l can tell you candidly that even l as a "Westerner/Yoruba" was full of revulsion at the level of abject poverty in those lands. I have traveled to a large part of the Northern states too (my kind of work back then, demands that l travel to various branches ) and l can say its is far better than what is obtainable in the SS.
If MEND's agitation was that simple (Develop where you get the resources, through good roads, jobs, Hospitals, electricity and water, even to the level we have in Niger state that has no Oil!) and the "Northerners in Power" back then (From Buhari, IBB, Abacha, Abdulsalam) hanged their public spokes man (Saro Wiwa) in return, then taking to arms is the only option available to MEND, to at least catch the attention of these useless leaders!

If MEND has continued the Bombings even after they have been "dialogued with" (their main issues of infrastructural development still remains and even right now, the whole South-of-Nigeria suffers this to a large extent and Nigeria as a whole, to some extent, Electric Power for example), then they would have become the real "Criminal Terrorist", in a general sense, in the very essence of that word.

Let it be known that "THOSE WHO MAKE PEACEFUL CHANGE IMPOSSIBLE, MAKE VIOLENT CHANGE INEVITABLE".
That was MEND"S quagmire. Bombing is terrorism but even terrorism has a "moral face" to it, as in the case of MEND, just like in the case of ANC (South Africa) and currently in Palestine (Zionist occupation).

Just like anyone who kills another is a murderer, the legal system has taken the "moral position" into consideration by introducing MANSLAUGHTER, for those who commit the same crime but who did it as a mater of necessity (like killing a man who is defiling your wife/daughter under the threat of a weapon). Yes you killed the man ( = Murder) but you did it with a moral conscience and without any other option ( = Manslaughter, a lesser offense).

Lastpage!

He has NOT BEEN APPOINTED at all.
Being an AIG, naturally his name will be amongst those to be CONSIDERED.

Dont single him out for any X-ray! And dont single him out for any image laundering as well!!

Whatever kite you're trying to fly is unnecessary.

Lastpage.

@mclatunji: Hmmmmm ,,,  ,,,  ,,,,  ,,,, 

"Kabal" abi? Shoe get Size!
I full ground, with Fingers crossed!

Lastpage!

By the way, we are no longer hurtlady and accused man or mr. and mrs. accused. Grin

That was deliberate (thats why l put it in invited commas)!

I hereby pronounce you Mr. and Mrs. [size=14pt]"Lovebirds"[/size]

Like yousaid, we all learn from our mistakes.

Enjoy your marriage, may God give you and your husband the wisdom and mutual understanding, to grow more in love and caring for each other.

My regards to your little girl. Phew!, l was worried for her on page one!
I would hate my daughter to call another man "Daddy or Uncle"!

Lastpage.

Now, gerraa-way from hea and go make my guy feel loved.

I am just laughing in Chinese!
I remember that when we were kids, our parents use to teach us to "Be QUICK to LISTEN but be very very SLOW to RESPOND"! 

It sure ensures that you have time to THINK, ENGAGE YOUR BRAIN, BEFORE YOU PUT YOUR MOUTH INTO GEAR!

See the way most of you I.T.K (I don sabi everything) got reprimanded like an errant child?
As "diplomatic" as the Poster tried to be, l am sure the chastisement is not lost on you lot!
for example:

@Idowuogbo: Goodness! you sure are a bitter person. Take a chill pill okay? I was wrong to bring this problem online, but I learnt a lot by doing just that.

Some "Nutcase" did not even read all the posts, (and thus missed the husbands response) before posting some silly advice! Imagine, you want to advise someone on a "life-changing" situation and you are acting like a drunkard or someone high on some cheap pills!

No wonder some of these advisers clowns all began to crawl back like worms, to sing "l am happy for you", to the poster! Una get choice?

@hurtlady

I'd like to thank you all for your comments. Let me state categorically that I never considered divorce, never have and never will. Like my husband said, I posted what I did in the heat of anger, and I am ashamed to say I made false accusations. I have since settled the issue with my husband and the lady in question.

I hope these illegal advisers whom themselves need so much of advise, would learn a good lesson from the poster's response above! Shove your "single-parentship" down your bloody ar*se!
Each time we remind you never to jump into conclusions, if you've not heard the "full jist" between "husband and wife matter", you think it makes you smart to reel out some silly advise, right-away?

There is no excuse for insensitivity. When someone pastes this kind of story, you can be sure that person is hurting and needs advice, not your misplaced and dare I say, myopic skeptism.

Hear matter o! MYOPIC? narrow, folish and short-sighted!! That hurts sooo much! Ooouch!!

I came to this forum with my tale and in the process hurt my husband, so I am also going to use this forum to apologize to him. I AM SORRY I HURT YOU.

Finally, to those who advised we work things out in the bedroom, you guys have the right idea jare.

hurtlady, you have earned my own respects. WHY?
1.) You were discerning enough to realize very quickly that there are loads of 'broken vessels" here on NL who want as many women going through a rough time in their marriage (and who doesn't?) to swell their ranks!

"Maritally Finished" they are but they are not yet done until, like Lucifer, they want to pull as many women as possible, along!

2.) You were also humble enough to realize your mistake (ego and self pride is a marriage killer!) and you apologized openly to your husband! Tell me, how would this man not kiss your feet for life?
See, when the Bible says "Honor Your Husband", this is what you have just done and then tell me how "Mr.Accused" will not "Love Mrs Accused to bits", as commanded? him get choize?

Imagine if you had followed their stewpid advice, (they even mocked you when you said you wanted to stay for your child!) l guess they (advisers) will be in a position to come back and spew that "l am happy for you" rant?

LESSON: Before you go and do "money ritual" from a "magician", check his bank balance and Net-worth (and that is just putting it diplomatically) Someone wearing rags cannot dash you designer clothes, never!

Divorce is only a last option, not the first option. And nothing is wrong if one decides to "weather discomfort" for the sake of an innocent child, who knows, it may even be an opportunity to make up, when passions cool down.

Like l said on one thread "Dont close the door after yourself, as you leave, just in-case you need to come back"!

Lastpage

Let us all eschew this tribal hatreds!
We can still live apart even as separate nations,  without inculcating and making "hatred", the basis of our separation!
Its an evil wind that blows nobody no-good.

If you consider yourself a Christian/True Muslim/Good person and you believe that " GOD IS LOVE", then let that "love" shine through you so much so that those that hate you will have no other choice than to give glory to the God that you serve and give you respect for who you are!

When you pray, God would never come down from heaven to answer you, He answers you through your fellow man now, imagine if l as a Yoruba man have made up my mind to HATE ALL IGBOS OR HAUSAS, and God in his own wisdom has sent MY OWN ANGEL to me, in the form of an IGBO or HAUSA PERSON!
The implication is that l would keep complaining that my prayers are unanswered while my Angel keeps telling God He is REFUSING ME because of his HATRED!

If you must hate another human being (as against EVERYONE WHO LOOKS AND SPEAKS LIKE HIM) , HATE THAT INDIVIDUAL BASED ON YOUR OWN DIRECT PERSONAL EXPERIENCE WITH THAT PERSON, not on some story (rightly or wrongly) someone else told you!
Then may be, just maybe, your hatred could have a little justification.

We channel too much energy into meaningless things like "HATRED" while neglecting the important things that build and uplift our lives, this our one and only life!

Lastpage!

@Ndata: Your experience is another good example that "only fools" HATE another because of their tribal orientation and nothing else!. Let us continue to preach it and show them that we will not descend to their "lowest level of THE ANIMAL IN MAN".
Cheers.

I am Yoruba (you are free to rotten it as "Yorobo" if you like)!

I dont hate Igbos, neither do l hate Huasaa.

I "detest" individuals who mis-jive or do wrong, whether they are Yorobo or Ndigbo (You can call them 'Ibo'   if you like )or Hausa (You can call them Mallam if you like ), l dont give a hoot!

If you hate me just because l am Yoruba, dat na your headache, carry go and dey suffer am!

Wetin concern-in "omo-Eko like me with hatred?

Igbo bring business, l do, l chop small money!

Hausa man bring Naama, l buy Suya and put flenty-flenty Pepper and Onions! Na dat one dey make Obalende rock 24/7!

Yoruba sef come nack Pounded Yam full ground, ewo lo'kanmi mbe?
All na Nigerians!
If you dont trust me simply 'cos l am Yoruba, me sef no trust you joor!
I  no even trust myself!
Just do the needful and be diligent in all our dealings.
No big deal naaah?


I hate to say it but there is "something about Yorubas" that makes them the "topic of others" all the time! (similar to the "Swagger" of Nigerians in the West" (despite all the bad things often said) , that make Oyinbo man hate them like mad!
I thank God l am a Yorobo man Ooo!

@ndi201

Remember its not only igbos, binis and ijebus hold this same opinion (hatred) about the yorubas and also remember that the ijebus ar also yoruba, [b]but they ar not descendant of oduduwa.[/b] U ppl should bring oduduwa toNL supreme court to answer to all this charges leveled against him by historian.

Sharrap there my friend!
So Ijebus are Yorubas but not descendants of Oduduwa? Are they "Jews of Ijebu" as well?
Make Awujale and people of Ijebu-Ode catch you for road, you go bring out that persin wey teach you "History" for school!

Lastpage.

BTW: Let the past be in the past, dont take revenge over what you think Awolowo did, on ME! I was not around when he made his decisions, to the best of his ability! Lets be friends!

@Kingoflag

NijaKing dey hope say Ugonna go see im yeye internet defence come settle am. . . . roflmao

Ol boy, use the remaining time wey you get for that cyber cafe wisely; perhaps watch some po*rn or something. If youre morose, I believe the rest of us have our brains in proper working order.

Jascoman => One Single Post!

Your Paddy => 3Posts (dat one try sef!)

Naijaking1 => 5,000+ posts (most used to defend Allison Madueke!)

All these in rabid defense of the boy?

I am just wondering aloud if "naijaking1" is the same person as "Jascoman"

It is sad if you spend all your energy defending the Mama Madueke , now you have graduated to defending the son Madurke?

Which of them will your own children defend, when you finally give birth to one?

E be like say your own generation na "Minister of Defense"!

Heh! See wetin money go cuase!   Eeehhhh, Chinekele, ,    , Ego bui'dike!

Lastpage!


BTW: The boy was referred to as "Stepson" while he refered o Allison as "My Mum"?
Does the boy not know his real mother or is she soo "poor" as to deserve no recognition?
Hmmm ,   ,   , Tufiakwa!

@Theblessed

Listen!  God himself who created us all has favourite pikins too - the ISREALITES! [/b]Abi? God swore abundance blessing unto them - that he is their God and they are his people. Can we change that? No!!! That's how it is and remains.

What can the rest of the world do about that -[b] nothing other than being jealous.  You see, that kind of jealousy that existed in the relationship between Joseph and his 11 brothers - they hated him because, he was the 'Apple of his father's eyes'. That's why the rest of the world hate Isreal - [/b]does it worth it? No! It's misery, and we're all are suffering because of it - where there's no love, how could there be joy?
[b]
As you can see the world hate the Jews because, they are 'loved'.  God loves them and punishes them when they break his laws and then, forgive them when they plea for mercy and repent.  As you can see, it's an everlasting love, everlasting relationship no one can change!

I find these part of your post VERY INTERESTING!
I will start by reminding you that God is a God of Justice. Even in His favoritism, He completely rejects injustice!

And let me ask you again: Why  does "most" of the world hate the current day Israeli State? Is it out of jealousy? Or is it something else?
Let me also add a question to that: Is there another "Israel" (The Chosen ones of God) in the Bible, apart from the current Israeli state?

Let me offer a few opinions:
*Israel of today are NOT CHRISTIANS! They do not practice Christianity (Worship of God Father, through his son, Jesus Christ).
Their Religion is called JUDAISM!
*Isreal of today does not read the Bible, They read what is called the TORAH!

*Israel of today (the political and geographical expression called Israel), is the ONLY COUNTRY in the world today that still practices the Evil APARTHEID SYSTEM!. The Bible says we are "equal" in the eyes of God but the Israeli state says its own citizens are more human than those it occupy!

*The current Israeli state is one of the very few that still uses "banned" Nuclear residue (Depleted Uranium!) on other humanbeings - The Palestinians.

*The current Israeli state has developed Weapons of Mass Destruction (WMD), it has refused to disclose and open up for inspections, it has refused to ratify the IAEA treaty on Nuclear Weapons, yet it has sought to incite the US and Europe to impose sanctions on other countries who want the same "power"! As a matter of fact, it has attacked and destroyed the Nuclear sites of other countries, (at least five countries) while amassing more Nuclear weapons for itself!
Even Iran which is a Muslim state and which the whole West vilifies, has not done a tenth of these atrocities!

*The current Israeli state of today is "a killer state" that goes about murdering Scientist and eminent people of other countries in its "paronia" of insecurity! Of-course, you cannot impose security, security only comes from Justice. As long as there is injustice (to a whole nation of people), Insecurity is just a by-product of injustice, you cant separate the two.

*Israel of today starves kids, destroys their schools, wantonly kills their mothers and turns the Palestinian lands into ONE BIG, OPEN JAIL!
*Israel of today is stealing other peoples land and is so greedy that it is not even willing to return some of these lands, for "Peace Guarantees"!

WHERE IS THE JUSTICE IN THE ISRAELI STATE OF TODAY? Can Good (God is Good) and Evil (what the present day Israel has become) live harmoniously together?

The above are just some of the REASONS PEOPLE DISLIKE THE Israeli state of today!.

God has certainly rejected the present day Israel, WHEN THEY REJECTED AND CRUCIFIED HIS SON! Till today, they still rejects Jesus Christ as the only son of God and that is why they still practice "Judaism" and not "Christianity"!

And what did the Apostles say about Israel of today?
Romans 9:6-8

It is not as though God's word has failed (his original promise to Israel) For not all those who are descended from Israel are Israel. (7) Nor because they are his descendants, are they all Abraham's children? On the contrary, "It is through Isaac that your offspring will be reckoned. ( In other words, IT IS NOT THE NATURAL CHILDREN (Israelis of today) WHO ARE GOD'S CHILDREN BUT IT IS THE CHILDREN OF THE "PROMISE" (those who profess Christ and are redeemed from sin) who are regarded as Abraham's offspring!

Going further down to buttress the above, Verse 25 reads

As he says in Hosea, "I will cal them MY PEOPLE, who are NOT MY PEOPLE",  , (27) Isiah cries out concerning Israel: Though the number of Israelites be like the sand by the sea, only THE REMNANT WILL BE SAVED!

And that "REMNANT" was explained in Romans 11:1-5, 11., especially verses 5 and  11 which l quote here

(5) So too at the present time, there is a remnant CHOSEN BY GRACE (not by birth or lineage!). (11) Salvation have come to the Gentiles (remnants) to make Israel envious!

You may say Gods words are never reversed but we all know this "assertion" is not true! Recall how he reversed his promise to Samuel (1Samuel 2: 30; "I promise you (Samuel) that you and your house shall minister before me forever but 'Far be from it', those who honor me will l honor and those who despise me will l despise".

In Israel today, church elders are not called Pastors, Apostles, Reverend as is in Christianity (not that it is the most important thing, just to show how "UnChrist-like" they have become), but they are called RABBI (teacher in Hebrew) but the Bible through Jesus says in Mathew 23: 9-11 "Do not call anyone on earth RABBI" or "FATHER" (Christian father as against biological father) but call yourselves "brothers".

For lack of attention span and space l would have gone on to show you more and more of how the Israel you are referring to above, is NOT THE STATE OF ISRAEL AS WE HAVE TODAY!
The "Israel" the Bible refers to, is ANYONE who professes and practice Christ, his ransom sacrifice and and resurrection, and is "born again" in Christ.

David said of the current Israeli state of today in Romans 9:7, 9

God gave them a spirit of stupor,   ,  .(9) May their table become a snare and a trap, a stumbling block and a retribution for them, May their eyes be darkened so they can not see and their backs be bent for ever

In summary, the world is no more jealous of today's "political and geographical Israel" than they are jealous of China, as a thriving or militarily strong nation.
Most of the world dislike Israel for its atrocities to the nation of Palestine and its people. Its not jealousy in any way!. its a shameful nation.

By the way, this response has nothing to do with my religion but for the records, l am a Christian by faith.

Cheers.

Lastage

BTW: That your purple color got our attention all very well and l do understand why it needed to but to even put everything in PURPLE & BOLD is "an attack on Tinubu the eyes! Some peeps call it "shouting in public"!

You seem to believe the one who leaves automatically should not get the kids. I will disagree with that. In this case her leaving would essentially be akin to running for her life; also, he brutalized her when she was pregnant and strangled her in front of the kids. Not exactly the model father, I’m sorry to say. My vote is for her to take the kids (if she leaves). I’m sorry if this is all too hurtful to the OP. Hope she’s doing alright.

The family has "A Home" where the kids are raised and used to.
This is where they have their friends, their school and are quite settled in that place.

If your spouse did not "ask you to leave" (there is a world of difference between being asked to live, probably by a court order from your spouse, and leaving of your own volition) and you decide to leave, it is your choice, NOT THE CHILDREN"S CHOICE! Just leave.

Taking the children along, apart from dislocating the children's life, is also traumatic to your spouse! (male or female)

Again, leaving the children behind leaves "the door open" for a probable reconciliation as you will need to visit and perform your parental duties to those kids. Hopefully along the way, both parties will realize where they went wrong and use the kids "as an excuse" to make up!

Like a popular cliche says, [size=14pt]"If you decide to leave, its not wise to close the door after yourself"![/size] The KEY, might just be on the other side!

Lastpage!

@Lady winona

I am here. Being here the whole time reading your comments which has helped me in making up my mind. I must confess though that I was a bit surprised someone dredged up my past. Yes, it was a traumatic period, one I wouldn't wish for any woman out there, but I'm glad to say that all that is behind us now. I hadn't wanted to say anything more hoping my thread will fizzle away but I can see that is not happening. Want to thank you all so much for your time and input since it has really opened up my mind to the true situation of things. Thank you

@OP, l read your last response but l could not decipher the "hidden message" inside!

What IS YOUR CONCLUSION AT THIS POINT?

To flirt or to remain faithful?
Just tell me in one single line please!

Eesu o ni'lowa O! (May we not be an instrument of the Devil!) Amen.

Lastpage!

^^^^Well, l am delighted hearing that from a Nigerian Youth!
It shows there might still be hope for this country after-all.

The gruesome dishonesty starts with we "matured people", (l wont use the phrase "elders" but with my first son in the University, l think l am qualified to refer to myself as "matured". Is it not what the younger ones see their parents doing that they emulate?

Have we not glorified stealing and corruption in various forms so much so that it has become a culture?
I use to ask people: What would l say if my son sees "Handcuffs" on me? How would l look up and meet him eye-ball to eye-ball? How would l be able to chastise him if he does wrong afterwards?
For me, small money WITH DIGNITY is better than all the filthy loot and blood money of this world".

Our problem knows neither religion nor tribe; Corruption has no religion and it is not the exclusive preserve of any tribe!
Thieves full everywhere but we are so ignorant that we reduce the "problem" to which Tribe steals more, which Party loots most or which Religion has more thieves!

When "DEATH" that is INDUCED by the corruption of the Politicians and Civil Servants comes knocking, it will not ask first "Which Party or which Tribe or which Religion you belong to, before striking its fatal blow.

A thief is a thief, whether Yoruba Thief or Igbo Thief or Hausa Thief; ALL OF THEM ARE ENEMIES OF NIGERIANS AND THE EARLIER WE RECOGNIZE THAT AND STOP COVERING THEM UP, THE BETTER FOR ALL OF US.

Cheers.

Lastpage!

@biolabee:
Thanks for your vote of confidence.

Such words from an annonymous person is far more valuable than all the "praise-singing" from people who know you in person!

The best we can do to ourselves is to be forthright, truthful and encouraging to one another.

Cheers.


@joy2dworld:
I am happy you are moving forward. God will renew your strength as you strive forward.

Be also wary of "govt officials" at Alausa. Keep the most vitals things to your chest, at least till you're sure who you are dealing with.
They will take bribe, connive with your former employer and try to fend you off like they are the judge (they will tell you the man has nothing to answer for!)
Do not place too much hope in them, let the NLC/TUC somersault be your guide.

Should you need "an ear" without divulging too much, feel free to come back and "shout plenty"!

Lastpage

Gbawe,
It peeves me even more when every discussion is reduced to "a political grandstanding" or "tribal fisticuffs"!
The Politicians have identified this flaw in most ignorant people and will thus capitalize on it, to befuddle their thinking!

I want peeps to discuss an issue based on its merits not whether who spoke is from ACN or PDP!
You will be surprised that all of them (ACN, PDP and others)meet at the "club" and drink together (while planning the next money to loot) while "the masses" kill themselves over party-affiliation!

Reminds me of those supporters of Sunny Ade Vs. Ebenezer Obey on one hand and those of Sikiru Ayinde Barrister Vs. Ayinla Kollyntin (Ijo yooyo! ) on the other hand. You need to see them pitch tent and heatedly argue in support of "their artist" in the early 70's!



Lastpage!

As for you Radical, l give up, if after my "detailed explanation" you still cant get it.
By the way, l like those your Emoticons, appears more "alive" than the flt ones here.

My posts get long at times 'cos there is so much to say.
If l can remind you about something: British Airways has a penchant for treating Nigerians like Shyte! Nigeria- London - USA is their most lucrative route, world over but it is also the MOST EXPENSIVE! Figure that out.
To add insult to injury, they treat us like dirt and WE ALL KEEP QUIET! They know us for our lethargy!!

But one day, a few Nigerians "Stood Up and said Enough is Enough! The did something!
As expected, There is Always a PRICE TO PAY for freedom.
Their flight schedule was disrupted, one was taken to court (and he eventually won!), we boycotted their plane in protest BUT at the end of the day,
THEY APOLOGIZED and reviewed their fares. They also improved their attitude towards Nigerians! Even our Govt "jumped on the train" and took a closer look at the exploitative and unfettered 'route and landing rights" they enjoy, to the detriment of our local airlines.

The morale of that "long turainshi" is that You dont get anything for free! You dont get what you deserve if you dont try!
DOING NOTHING IS SLAVERY AND IT IS NOT WHAT YOUR CREATOR WANTS FOR YOU! G[b]od is a God of Justice![/b]

Cheers.

Lastpage!

@Moremi2008

Wow! This is just tragic. What kind of evil employer sacks a pregnant woman? No be woman born am into this world? Nigeria is such a scary country. I sometimes seriously consider never returning. All kinds of evil is permissible. Only the super-rich are safe.

Good luck my sister oh! Please, just pray well about this decision. Sometimes, fighting just isn't worth it. The court systems are weak (I know of a family member that sued his former employers and the case went nowhere because it dragged on for years and the employer kept bribing the judges and offering jobs to their unqualified relatives). Besides the relatively slim chances of court justice, there is also the added stress of dealing with all this with a baby on the way. I completely understand your hurt and desire to see justice done, but you can allow that to cloud your judgement about the practical reality. [/b]There are many other jobs out there for you. This is just the beginning! God bless you.

[b]
Please do not take this as a rebuke, l am just using your reply as a reference for what l am about to say.

1.) The "Employers" are not the problem, the "employees" (Nigerian in general) are the problem. We are too lethargic in our attitude to injustice! Evi doers are not the problem, it is those "who keep quiet in the face of Evil" that are the problem 'cos they encourage and promote it!

2.) Evil is NOT permissible EXCEPT the affected permit it!.
See, Freedom is not free, not even in FREETOWN! There is ALWAYS A PRICE FOR FREEDOM and There can be no Freedom without JUSTICE!

We Nigerians seem to have this wrong notion that "We can moan about injustice on one hand, then find "excuses" for not acting positively against it (and like Fela said, "mama dey for house, "pickin is on the way", "God go provide another one", "these people are too powerful to challenge", "fighting isn't just worth it", e.t.c, , , and there are thousands of other excuses and there would always be another one million excuses, if you want to find one, NOT TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT!

[b]This is the Genesis of Nigeria's problem! The Evil Employer, like an "Evil Government", like an "Evil National Assembly and Evil Cabal", Knows our mentality for finding excuses not to do anything about injustice meted to us and they do and will continue to capitalize on that "mentality"![/b] End of story!

3.) There is no harm in trying: If you try and fail, believe me, you have set "a bar" for the next person who will try and little-by-little, the wheel of justice will grind, slowly but certainly move forward it will.
The worst thing is NOT TO EVEN TRY AT ALL. That itself is a failure.

On a familiar note, just for illustration, do you think fuel prices would not have stayed at 141naira/liter if EVERYONE KEPT QUIET while the "corrupt oppressors" have their day? Even if we did not achieve complete reversal, we put them on notice that we will not remain silent, in the face of injustice! That is called TRYING as against "keeping Quiet" in the face of injustice.

Even our "Ghana-must-go" Justices of the court (a complete disgrace to everything justice stands for!), know that they can miscarry justice after collecting money and "we the populace will find an excuse to keep quiet"! And so, the cycle goes on and on!
Are we surprised why we are where we are today? Are we surprised why corruption and evil have so blatantly reduce us to sub-humans?
Are we surprised why a half-illiterate and callous Police recruit will point his gun at an unarmed protester and snuff the life out of him, without a care or worry? (and the others will run and scatter instead of putting 'necklace' on him instantly?).
IT IS BECAUSE THEY KNOW THAT WE HAVE A PENCHANT FOR DOING NOTHING ABOUT IT!

The "boss" will love to withhold your salary at the end of the month, he will do it, if you allow him to, by keeping quiet! Simples!!

Having said all the above, what we need to do (even if we can do nothing! ) is to give ENCOURAGEMENT TO THOSE WHO WANT TO DO SOMETHING!

Do nothing but dont instil fear into others!
Do nothing but dont "work against" their efforts of others (like we have seen some Nigerians do, in the fuel subsidy saga!)

What if, instead of "praying wella Oooh" me and you decide to contribute our resources (professional knowledge, time and experience, not necessarily money) to assist her? Would that not be more effective that asking her to "pray wella Ooh", as we Nigerians are noted for?

Even White folks that hardly go to Church nor pray, enjoy a better quality of life than we that pray wellaa, day and night!
Is God partial or what? or does it mean that "we just have a misguided application of FAITH"?

Mind you, l am not against praying, as a Christian, l pray myself and will even "fast" when necessary but the Bible says "Faith without Work (that part that forbids DOING NOTHING!) is Useless! I will also stand-Up and fight for Justice, I will say "Enough is Enough", you cant shove this Shyte up my throat! And if you are "so powerful" that you can force it down my throat, God help you as l will vomit it shouting and kicking like hell.

Like l said in my opening lines, this is not about you and please dont take it personal.

Cheers,

Lastpage!

Thanks Gabwe, for those posts.

I think you should allow some of these children to throw tantrums, its their right.
No need to argue using superior reasoning with some of them, they just cant reason straight, if they can attempt to reason at all.

Cheers,

Lastpage.

@Joy2theworld.

@ last page
to answer all your questions
* i worked witht he organisation in question fro a year and half
* i never received a query ( not even verbal
* am never late for work neither have i been unduly late ( not more than 5 min at the most)
* my letter just stated that employment has been terminated with immediate effect

i know it is possible that the employer or manager wriggles out by saying that they didnt fire me cause am pregnant , but if you lay off a pregnant woman ( if you have to ) shouldnt you pay adequate compensation?
i have asked my husband he says i should let go,  according to him why waste energy?  i should concentrate on the baby coming". i naturally dont like been cheated . i left a bank for this job thinking i will have peace of mind from the stress of marketing . now this happened
i want to fight it but through the right quarters so it wont happen to any other person again in that organisation
i dont want to go and hide in my little corner and say all is well ( i know all will be well)  , ( mind you my husband can adequately take care of me and the baby and my little daughter while am at home ) i just hate the feeling i have now.

If you are fighting this further, PLEASE dont blow your cover on NLand.
What you say here could pop-up in a court of law! I have seen where peoples supposedly private rantings on FaceBook, was used against them in an employment tribunal.

Having said that, if l get you correctly, the letter "did not state any reason" for terminating your appointment?
If you've made-up your mind to fight this out, you need to also bring your husband on-board. Let him see that this is injustice and that injustice to one, is an injustice to all.

The legal system in Nigeria is very slow, so prepare yourself for a very long battle, not necessarily expensive, just "going-and-coming / endless adjournment" strategy, to tire-you out.

First, the company will loose at the end of the day (they will probably ask to reach an out-of-court settlement with you at the dying minute, to avoid a court judgement). The end will justify all your efforts.

You will need a Lawyer (If l were one, l will simply sign you on for free, just to make a name and improve my CV further but l will be a Lawyer even if l am 75yrs! Thats my last wish ).
Not just any Lawyer but one that
(a) believes you unjustly treated i.e identifies with your cause and believes in it.
(b) One that will not "sell-you-out" like Oshiomole/NLC/TUC, at the last minute! (Apologies to all honest lawyers but l've seen a few disgraceful ones)

Arrange a "no-win, no-fee agreement with him or one that guarantees him 30% of whatever you are awarded. That way, the money is not from your pocket but Lawyers will only take such cases if they are at least 90% sure of winning (and that should be an indication to the Lawyers ability/commitment and eventual success on your part)

Put your case up in the legal section also. There may be one or tow guys there who are ready to take it up. Google some NGO's that "specialize" on women's cases. See if Alausa has a department on Employment/Labor relations. Get information first and dont leave it for too late, not sure what the time-limit on such cases is, in Naija.
BUT DONT EVER LET ANYONE DISCOURAGE YOU or dampen your spirit, not even a Lawyer!.

The worst your company should have done is One month pay in lieu of  notice, even if you're under probation.

BTW: I hope you still have your letter of APPOINTMENT? Read it again and again and see if their is "any term/condition" therein, that you have signed on to. (it makes the challenge more difficult if you unknowing signed that you should be dismissed if you get pregnant! but l doubt it).

Make most of the discussions through "P.M" (when someone decides to help you) and vet whoever is helping you properly (God forbid its your Oga's friend that is "helping" you to fight your case!; l did see that someone already identified you here! Not good for you)

Thats all for now.

Lastpage.

Please dont give up on this o!

BTW: I am sure you will have suffered some "trauma-induced" problem like high B.P, Anxiety, Headache,  Palpitation, .e.r.c since you were fired. Talk to your Doctor. (You get my drift?  ) That Company go pay for what they caused to you and your baby, sebi dem talk say dem no get human feelings at all, abi?

And where did the POLICE get this 50Million Naira from?
[size=14pt]Is it our 20-20 naira or na the subsidy removal proceeds dem don dey share so?[/size]


But then, may be President Jonathan included it in the 2012 BUDGET!
Since we also budgeted for CUTLERY = 90Million naira!

Lastpage!

BTW: There is a guy that resembles this Biu Sokoto or whatever dem call am, not to far from moi. Its an exact match!!

I am thinking of arranging with the guy to "present himself", we collect the 50Million and share 50-50?
Even IGP and Zakari Biu sef fit chop small inside!

I am sure himself is crafty enough to also escape and the bounty go just triple to 300Million!
Awoof don land ground Ooo!
Na my Police sense dey talk dat one, no be me. (It wasn't Me!)

@ileobatojona

If the posted story about the beatings are true, them madam OP, you need to stop fooling yourself and accept that you married a beast and a monster AND flee for your life while you still have it. Abi you want to die because of a man? I already mentioned this in my previous post without knowing the history of him beating you. Who cares what people will say if you divorce, they can go to he.ll. If he went to that extent of strangling you and battering you straight for 1hr, it shows he has no control over his rage. You are lucky you survived that ordeal, you may not survive the next. You don’t need to go to your parents' house because they will pressure you to go back. Stay on your own with the kids. Leave NOW. Sorry, but I have to be blunt.

In the meantime, forget about this office guy. You need to be free of marital commitments and have a clear head before entering another relationship. You shouldn’t leave your husband for another man (for reasons I previously stated), you should leave for yourself.

God be with you.

The highlighted part refers.
When a woman decides to "leave her home", what right does she have to "carry the kids along"?

*Do kids belong to the woman alone?

*Which law states that a woman (especially one who will abandon ship because it hits a rock!) would mind and train the children better, than their father?

*Since life is all about CHOICES, dont / shouldn't the children "have a say" in whose house they wanna stay?

*Moreover, l reckon say the OP is in Naija? Do we have lopsided laws as we have in the West, in Naija, that allows a woman to keep the children to herself simply because she wants out?

*Who says the children will be happy with your new Boyfriend and will want to call him "Daddy"?

I think taking the children along when you decide to leave, is a form of punishment to the other spouse and the kids too!
IF leaving is "your choice", then leave but you aint taking the kids away from the "family home".

Just my thoughts.

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BTW: I know this is a contentious issue but l will be happy if we examine "those posers" closely.