₦airaland Forum

Therapyman: O.K. so some of you are a little more foolish than others.  "God Knows No Sin" means two things from a theological viewpoint, of which I have a masters degree- also one in Christian Counselling.  First off it means that Sin is not a part of God's make up, Therefore if God is Love and God is not Sin - Love can not be Sin.  Secondly, it means that if you are in Christ Jesus God does not look at you as a sinner - He sees you clothed in the righteousness of Christ.  If you want to use shame and guilt tactics against this guy I guess that makes sense since that is something that misguided Christians are good at but when it comes to biblical truth they do not hold water.

Thanks for your 2 cents worth but maybe you should go back to school and keep your opinions to yourself until you know what you are talking about.

Of course I said to keep on loving the other woman.  Love is of the nature of God.  What I also said was NOT "to cut out sex" - as far as I understand it they have not had sex - what I said was to differentiate (big word there hope you have a dictionary) between Love and Sexual Impulse.  May be a "yea Right" issue for you but for those whom have some integrity, motivation, and perseverance - it really is not that difficult of a task.  More difficult is getting the junk - LIKE YOUR COMMENTS- out of ones head.  Either way I suggested counselling so that a trained professional, which you ARE NOT and I AM, can come along side them and help them journey through this time in their lives.


I hope that JWdayise is wise enough to know the difference between your deluded immature rantings and the truth.

Hmmn. . . . .I don't know which part of the Scriptures you are relying on, to support your arguments, but my own bible commands us to be holy, and also states that we are to flee from temptation and flee from all appearance of evil. In fact, there is a part that warns strictly against fornication, by saying if a man looks lustfully upon a woman, he has already commited a sin in his heart. It even goes further to say in Habbakuk 1:13 that "God, Thou art of purer eyes than to behold evil and canst not look on iniquity. . . ." This shows that God does not condone sin in any form. The Scriptures are even more emphatic about the fact that God does not tempt any man, but man is tempted by his own lusts.

When Joseph was working for his Egyptian master, and his master's wife asked him to sleep with her, did he sit down to negotiate with her, or try to talk it out, or continue seeing her? NO! The smart chap fled.

Abeg, the original poster is in a fragile situation that has all the potential of turning into a tempestous, lustful tango with him as the star actor in a tryst with a member of the opposite sex. He is vulnerable and quite prone to temptation. The only option he has is to cut off ties with this woman and discuss his feelings with God Almighty. Period.

Dating a married man is like playing Russian roulette. Pointless, totally risky and utterly foolhardy. In effect, what the man is saying to you the single girl, is "you may be good enough for me to 'bed', but certainly not good enough for me to wed." Think about it.

If he had no feelings for his wife, why the heck is he still with her? And pls don't give us that excuse about them staying together just for the sake of the kids. Its' hogwash!

nuzo:
As regards to stripping widows of their husband's possessions. One can only try doing it if you want to face the wrath of of my village. I am from Ebonyi state to be precise.

I will not hide the fact that it's still being carried out in some parts of Nigeria.
This as a result of somebody toiling all his life to feed and send his brother to school and after that, he sells almost all he has got to make his stand in world and all of a sudden death came calling and a woman of barely 2 years of marriage will want to take over the whole property.

Ehm. . . .isn't this contradictory? On one hand, you claim that no one can strip widows of their dead husband's properties without facing the wrath of your village. Yet, on the other hand you seem to justify a dead man's extended family coming to take over his possessions, simply because his widow was not married to him for a long period of time, or simply because their marriage did not last that long. Which one do you want us to believe?

willywilly:
My uncle married 4 wives and all are yorubas,
he spent (250)naira as dowry for his 1st marriage, 2nd wife he paid (300)naira, 3rd wife he got her as a gift after he bought a land from a Yoruba man, 4th wife he paid nothing, only bought AGBADA and BuBA for the father and mother. for all his four wives he spent less than (1200)naira. i love that ,a very good bargain

Oh yeah Is your uncle a muslim?? How come he has such a large appetite for women?

As for the story of a man dashing him a wife, because he bought the guy's piece of land. . . . .hehehe. . . .that story sounds like a fairytale. Are you sure that land speculator wasn't selling stolen property?

And finally, the parents of the 4th wife, that accepted only agbada (how come there was no sokoto) and buba (what about the iro) in exchange for their daughter must be either aliens, or ghosts. Were they walking around naked, before your uncle came to their rescue? Was that why they parted with their daughter in exchange for[i] agbada [/i] and buba? Maybe if you tell us what part of the South-west they hail from, one might find it easier to swallow your story. Hehehe. . . .nothing wey person no go see for here!

salsera:
BABEELOVE are you MILITIA

Of course she is. Don't tell me you didn't know that all this while??!

olanajim: I am looking at many possibilities. My goal is however to help and not complicate issue.

Please follow me again:

Number one: it is rare to find a cheating man knowingly sharing the secret to the medium of communication betweem him and his cuncubine (whether ex or current ) with his wife. Therefore, for that man to share the password of his email with his wife must mean:
1, he has nothing to hide/he is hidding nothing from his wife. Good or bad.
2, he trust his wife and believe the wife would understand when he explain to her. In this case he know he was wrong but probably fighting his guilts or
3, he is trying to bully his wife and inflict pains on her delibrately, knowing that the wife is either a toothless bull dog, or an unwanted domestic servant, or a mere baby manufacturer. Don't forget, I earlier pressumed that he married the lady because of his need for children. If my presumption happen to be right, then the wife is being used. Maybe it is time to dump her! On this presumption, divorce is not the best option now. She would LOSE EVERYTHING and probably found herself in Nigeria with the so-called ex taking possession of the home and children! You know the ex is barren, she would be glad to see this happen! This is just a possibility but we must consider every possibilties and plan for them. The evil doer must not be given a trophy for hurting innocent people!

My guess is that it is No. 3.

The guy probably got careless and power drunk, and asked his wife to reply the mail to his -ex, because he felt the wife would do as she was told, and would not complain about it. Haven't you seen some bad guys who commit crimes and then they make a slip in one area of their operations, which gives the police the much needed clues they need, that ends up proving their guilt? Well, I think that was what happened in this case. He got careless and gave the wife his password, to check his mail and post a reply, because he had gotten away with so much in the past. So he no longer cares what his wife now thinks, because he is so confident he will get away with it all again, at the end of the day.

Finally, I do believe he has a lot to hide. That is why he is still trying to be in the good books of the -ex. Forget all the crap he said about his -ex. There is definitely something still going on between them.

I laughed so hard, when I started reading all these posts. There was one my friend told me about, which his -ex used when she was dumping him: "My pastor says he didn't see a vision of us getting married, so can we call it quits?"

And here's another one that was used on my relative once, when she was dumped by an -ex: "Relationships between East and West don't work. So get over this relationship. I never made you any promises."

Uche2nna:
Also, in some communities, u are expected to buy one big box (usually echolac) and fill that [b]up to the brim with hollandis for the mother in law or the bride, whichever.[/b] Funny thing is that the mother in law has a rite to reject your box if she thinks it is not rich enough  or not to fill to the brim.

If the large suitcase is meant for the bride, just 'pally' the babe and tell her to fill it up with her own clothes underneath, while you pile a[i] few [/i] new wrappers on top to make it look heavy. But if the suitcase is meant for the mother-in-law, ehm. . . .you will need to think of another strategy be dat o!

grafikdon:
Termite
Dove
Alligator

Termite, ke?? Talk true?

drrionelli:
naija diva asked:
As I understand it, naija diva, bushmeat is a general term for various wild game meats in Nigeria. Now, let me note that I'm not Nigerian, but that's what I've been told by others who would know. So, it could be anything from porcupine to rat, I've been told.

Bushmeat could range from wild antelope to squirrels. Rats are definitely NOT part of the menu. They are abhorred by people in many parts of Nigeria.

uyai:
Afo ado ata nton, unam ikot. Iwot mfo ifono. Nton mfo iniehe level. ubaha ke level mmi, ado idad. uma ukapa ata owo then nya uboro iko. ebot. ikpaha eduok.

Chei! Chei!! Chei!!

ow11,

What's the difference between Omoku and Ogba? I thought the indigenes of Omoku were Ogba people? I also thought that Ibani meant the same thing as Bonny, and folks from that area were Kalabari people? Or is there a difference?

ebos:
@Laudate

Don’t mind some people here. For the fact that we had to put up the annoyance of good attitude to make our points, does not mean we are enemies. We are still friends. But at times, human beings have to change mood even we disagree in our various homes.

True!! I hear you!

Ah, there have been many funny posts that I've come across on nairaland. One of them is this cute one by amaikama in the Romance section, where he advised Pinkttea not to meet with an ex-boyfriend:

amaikama: Pinkttea, my advice. don't dare give him that satisfaction of you and him having lunch and chatting with him. after 9 month he now pop up like a movie star that went sabbatical resurface to be given a rosy welcome by his fans.

It was really funny.

pinkttea: He doesn't want the talk on the Phone!

A comeback 

well i don't think that's going to happen.

If that's what he wants, i can't wait to laugh

What is so important about this talk, that it cannot be "talked" on di phone? I beg, your -ex has another thing in mind, jare! And am sure what is on his mind is nothing good. Or has he just discovered that he was infected with something, and he is worried that he might have passed it on to you?

olanajim:
Laudate,

I am really surprise at you. If there is any one that should know better, it show be you. Frow your citation of Quran, I know you are either a muslim apologist or a christain jingoist. Either way, I am not the best candidate to engaged with you on Religion because you know my stand on Religion.

Somehow, I took time off to research your contributions on Nairaland, I was perplexed that 70% of them are on Religion. And you are so passionate about your argument, It is gladdening to know god people reside in Naija.

Just to let you know, I have no religion. I defend what I believe regardless of the faith.

I am very conversant with three religions so I enjoy seeing people hit one another in the name of religion. God is never far away!

Olanajim, thank you so very much for the gratuitous insults. So am now a muslim apologist, ba? As well as a christian jingoist? By the way, do you know the meaning of apologist? And are you conversant with the term jingoist? I beg you, please make up your mind, on what I am. To the best of my knowledge, you cannot be a muslim apologist, and yet remain a christian jingoist. Neither can you be a christian jingoist, and yet be classified as a muslim apologist.

As for my posts, I think you are confusing me with some other person. I have only made 4 posts in the religion sector.

ebos:
@Laudate

I can understand, just because the Link criticized Igbos, so, it must be hastily posted, and backed with a sham caution. After, they will indict ebos of reading meaning to it.

Oh please, stop this! That article criticised all groups, not just the Igbo. So stop trying to make it sound as if only the Igbo were singled out for any peculiar criticism. The only part of the article that interested me, was the bit on state creation in the South-East, and how that issue was never concluded due to difference of interests. FYI, other ethnic groups also wanted more states in their region, and they argued for it in the 2005 conference. Was it created for them? No!!

A number of articles were written around that time, about state creation but the reason why this one stuck, was that a few other writers had expressed the same opinions about why the state creation exercise did not favour the South-East.

What a pity!! The guys in Ilaje Ese-Odo local governement of Ondo State are mostly Ijaws, from the Toru_ebe stock. It looks like MEND and their brothers have infiltrated that area. How sad.

[quote author=+osisi link=topic=77620.msg1485274#msg1485274 date=1189527841]what a bad piece of advice
so if you advise them to cross the Niger and Benue,who will marry our girls?
you want our girls to turn into "oto n'aka nne?"(overgrown girls in their momma's hands)
Tosh and Uche2nna and co, if the family of your beloved insist on the contents of the exercise book,just take the girl to a local registry and get legally married,by the time belle will begin to protrude nobody will ask for a long list

_{please don't try this o,it may backfire}[/quote]Er. . . . .in what way is it bad, please? Kindly remember that one man's meat, is another man's poison . Am just trying to give my fellow brothers some alternatives, that's all.

Ehm, this last part of your statement is a bit confusing. In what way, can it backfire? Tell us o!

More views on the creation of states. It must be read with care though, because some of the sentiments expressed in it, are biased.


http://nigeriaworld.com/articles/2003/may/068.html

The lady is going through emotional turmoil right now. What is known in plain language as heartbreak. It will take her time, and lots of prayers to get through it, as well as caring and wise counsel from her family and friends. Have her family members tried to talk to this man?

To the original poster: Let her cry out her pain. There is no point in keeping it all in. Then let her talk, and get it out of her system. Talking is a form of therapy. 

Then ensure she talks to her husband, letting him see how his attitude and friendship with this other woman, is hurting her. She needs to do so, even if it leads to a confontation. She has to let it all out. She should select her words with care, and make him see exactly how his actions are affecting her. If he refuses to listen, can she talk to some of her own tough friends, who would be in a better position to warn that other babe off her man? 

Finally, let her work on herself. Encourage her to get a job, have a change of scene and a break from routine activity, will do her good. Let her confide in trust-worthy friends who will console her, and take her out to lunch, gyms and the mall, to get her mind off her misery. And on a last note, let her begin the long, slow process of untying her soul and detaching her emotions from the man. She needs to get to a stage, where no matter what the guy does, it will no longer hurt her. She has to do it all by herself. No one can help her to get to that stage. It starts with her working on her self-esteem, and putting her energy into something else, other than loving him.

It is sad that her husband is still tied to the apron strings of his ex-wife. Obviously, he is a weak, immature, thoughtless individual. She needs to be strong to deal with the emotional affection she still has for him, which  causes her to get upset, anytime she hears him talking to this other woman. She has to become indifferent to his antics. That is the only way for her to maintain her sanity.

If none of this works, let her try all those fire-fire prayers. e.g "any strange woman coming betwen me & my husband. . .what are you waiting for??"

Uche2nna, Toshmann, Debosky, you guys need to stop worrying. The Good Lord who provided the babe, shall verily provide the bride price!  

To be on the safe side, try & look out for babes from the South-West, far North or the Middle-Belt. In the South-West in those good old days, 90% of the expenses for the wedding were borne by the bride's family, except for the couple's clothes and the short bethrothal list of yams, fruits, kolanuts, bible etc. used during the traditional engagement. Nowadays, most families share the expenses, fifty-fifty.

The Igala community too, is not too far from the East, (in fact some of my relatives come from an Igala town,  just a few kilometres from Onitsha), and bride price there, is little or next to nothing! The women, nko? Na die!Trust me. So if the bride price in your area is too much, just cross the Niger!

ebos:
Consequent upon the fact that you have continued to uphold your hard position on ‘back-to-sender’, my preceding proof against you still remain as it is.

Pray tell, what preceding proof are you talking about? Do you even know the meaning of the phrase 'back-to-sender'? Or do you need someone to break it down for you, so that it can make sense? Because quite frankly, I don't know what you are going on about. What really is your problem with that phrase? First, you claimed it was an attack. I replied that it was not. Later, you said it was an abuse. I refutted it. Now you claim, that the statement is some kind of proof. Na wa o! What really is your problem?

ebos:
Yes, quite alright we are taxed twice as much by our inability to learn, three times as much by our folly. Refusing to be trained ultimately erodes power. I don’t need to convince large numbers of people to change; instead, I need to put up the annoyance of a good example. I know a cloud does not know why it moves in just such a direction and at such a speed, however, what is me, is quite separate from the not-me, and yet we wonder why there are conflicts of ideas. The conflicts begin with minds that believe in crumbling and are ignorant of whole truth. Igbos will rebound, take it or you leave it.

Stop clutching at flimsy straws. It is a sign of folly, to blame someone else, for your excesses. Take your own advice (which you gave up here), and do something about your inablity to learn.

You claim that: "what is me, is quite separate from the not-me." I don't know you, so how do you expect me (or anyone else on this forum for that matter) to give you an answer to this kind of remark?

On a last note, conflict of ideas is inevitable in any society, even in cyberspace. Human beings were created different, and unique by God. If he wanted consensus or total compliance on every issue, he would have created clones. A high level of consensus on every issue leads to 'Group-think' which can be detrimental to any society, as it has a high tendency to stifle creativity, inspiration and new thoughts. So kindly free your mind. Just because a person does not agree with your comments and points it out, doesn't mean he hates you. Try to seperate issues from personalities. And stop reading meanings which are non-existent into my post.

ThiefOfHearts:
lol laudate. I still have the bible given to my mom.

how are you, Btw. long time. Hope all is well

I dey o! Working hard, trying to keep body & soul together! When am bored, I field off brick-bats from the cartel!

Question: Is It Proper To Call Your In-Laws 'Brother', 'Sister'?

It may not be proper, but in certain cases where the family is a die-hard conservative one, it may be expedient. It costs nothing, and saves you from undue, unecessary stress or embarrasment.

It could also buy you some amount of goodwill, when it comes to blending in with the family of your spouse.

I mean, if your spouse has always referred to their older sibling as 'brother lagbaja' or 'sista tamedu' as the case may be, right from the start when you guys were dating, and you know those chaps are older than you are, why would you just slam their names down, when you didn't meet that tradition in their family from day one? Why upset the apple cart?

Just my 0.20 cents.

ThiefOfHearts:
Oh I know, I'm just being silly.

I think I'll have my parents up it and ask for bread imported from France only.

Nah!! In your case the prospective bridegroom would have to cough up several tubers of yam, kegs of palmwine, basket of kolanuts, chilli pepper, bottles of honey, baskets of fruits, sugar, a couple of drinks, suitcase of clothes, rolls of dried fish and a bible. The only thing you get to go home with, is. . . .the bible.

Er. . .if you are from a royal family, the quantity of yams required, would double!!

At 30, the chic probably feels that time is not on her side and that you are not ready to pop the question. Sit her down and thrash it out in a no-hold barred conversation. Wish you luck.

[quote author=+osisi link=topic=63191.msg1481831#msg1481831 date=1189443632]which ones are bad?
Ijebu Igbo better be the good ones.
Anything Igbo is good

BTW,how can you call a whole group of people bad?[/quote]Help me ask them o!! Such generalisations are not only sickening, but rather daft. Am sure a lot of Ijebu folks would be offended by this stereotype. Every area in the North & South has its' own stereotypes. Ask all those who are talking anyhow here, what village they come from and you would be suprised at the kind of steretypes that exist about their own people, and indigenous districts.

Strangely enough, the Ijebu folks share some cultural traits with the Igbo (e.g Nnewi) people, when it comes to trade, commerce and business acumen. They also practise the age-grade system till date, a cultural trait which has died out in most parts of the South-West. Hmmn. . . .

Some of my good friends are Ijebu, and are members of this age-grade groups. Na big thing for dem side!

I-man, you seem to have had a lot of experience interacting on an intimate level with trannies, that's why you are busy calling out for one. As for me, my own name is Laudate. 

Tell us where you lost your own tranny, so that people can help you out. Is that why you are going from thread to thread, on a search mission?

Or. . . .wait o, were you one in your former life? Is that why you are busy yelling for one? Talk quick o! Make everybody help you find cure for your problem!

@olanajim, the Islamic religion supports jihad, and the killing of infidels. So, what is there to understand?

ebos:
Ebos is saying why they have to keep silent when Welcome 1 called the entire Igbos 419 and not Afrika 1. Did Afrika 1 call Igbos 419 in his post? It was Welcome 1 that branded the entire ethnic group with such remark. Though, I’m pleased that Igbos in this forum didn’t respond to him and Afrika 1. Some people are really mystified? It was Doyin 13 that really made a coherent analysis when he responded to my post. Doyin offered advice and went ahead to say that no particular tribe can be 100% united. So, I can’t understand why all these IGBO haters like to deceive themselves that Igbos are not united, as if they can point out to me any tribe that is united or speak with 100% one voice. Even in America today, not all of them supported the Iraq invasion. I never said back-to-sender when you were attacking and receiving counter attacks in the other thread, despite I’m from the same tribe you was assailing with your invective languages. I only called for peace. Right now, someone want to assert being more Nigerian than every other person in this forum, when actually he turned a blind eye and never felt upset to a post that condemned a section of this country, but was swift enough to get worried to a remark that rubbished this dodgy country.

Willy Willy has been making some good points, yet some people are sightless to see logic from what he has pointed out. What we are saying is let Nigerians pick one candidate of their choice from Igbo and support him - just the way they did to others. Let them stop telling us to produce a consensus candidate.

What I said in my previous post still applies. No response was made to welcome1, simply because it is futile arguing with morons. In fact, my previous statement was: "Engaging a slowpoke in a conversation is pointless". That goes for welcome1, Dimka a.k.a mohadana, Willywilly, pilas and his prejudiced ilk!!

It was also for that same reason, that I did not respond to Willywilly earlier, when he made sweeping remarks about other tribes in Nigeria. Like I said before: I do not engage people who have opaque bile clouding their vision. I have done that in the past, and it is tiring, irritating and a waste of valuable time. It is not turning a blind eye. It is a refusal to engage in a pointless exercise. People who have a prejudiced, jaundiced view of others, are hardly likely to change their minds simply because you made a comment. So stop trying to use Laudate's refusal to be drawn into a war of words, to justify your stand.

Finally, you stated that Igbos must not respond to certain silly statements. So why are you expecting non-Igbos to respond to such drivel?

Finally, I beg of you show me the post where I used 'invectives,' or 'invective languages' against your tribe! Don't lie! Don't clutch at hypothetical straws. Provide facts, not hyperbole. Paste the link here if you can, so that everyone can read it & judge for themselves.

And yes, I still stand by my remarks. 'Back-to-sender' is not an abuse, neither is it an insult. Maybe it is, in your own world. It merely means that whatever kind of wishes that you are sending to me, I return them to you. Period.

On a last note, I make no apologies to anyone for being a Nigerian. If you wish to renounce your own citizenship, that is your business. Not mine. I fail to see why it riles you so much, when someone decides to uphold his nationality.