₦airaland Forum

amaikama:
Now, back to the thread.There is no concrete explanation for this thread. A survey will reveal different reasons, some may be fair while some will be absurd. like that of a woman without a child a man may wish to take a second wife thereby limiting God and if the present wife she is comfortable with the idea of a second wife fine, that their problem. it's a free society. a man can marry whosoever he feels and with what number of wives he so choose to have. the headeach will always be on him.

Still no excuse. The couple could try IVF or adoption, if they have fertility problems. On the other hand, what if they have tried unsuccesfully for many years to have kids, and the fault is not from the woman? Would you recommend that she takes a second husband?

soulpatrol:
you know some cultures, especially yoruba, like to over-do things. i think it's partly to frustrate the person.

Really? In what way pls?

surugede:
they say we are stupid because:

we will not kill for money rituals

its a taboo in our land for women to commit adultery (no one need to find out, they will confess by themselves and no one will force them to)

we don't have an AVARICIOUS desire for wealth

hardly do we take bribe, so in offices we are seen as cogs-in-wheels

our wives do not kill dia husbands to inherit his wealth

we hardly boast of whatever we have

we ARE humble (and this is taken for stupidity)

but in all these we wont change

NSUKKA DE JE, ANYI ASUMARU GEDE

Er, is the poster talking about people from Nsukka area, in the South-east??

I have some relatives from dat side o!

Hehehehe. . . . . . .I haven't had this much fun in years!!

i4serious:
i even learnt the level of education of the wife is a great determinant factor to how high the list could be.
Cause is like we have invested so much in  her so u need to pay higher than some one who is just a school cert holder
The marriage list for a master holder is to be settled at world bank.Not to even talk of Master holder with proffessional dgerees.
But theis doesn't happen in some tribe
just few things are needded.

i4serious, you are too funny for words!!    I heard that one too, a long time ago! In fact, one of my female friends was dropped by a guy from her area, because she had two master's degrees. He did some quick calculations and ended up marrying an OND holder!

Oh, by the way, in the South-West, Edo, Middle Belt and in many parts of the North, bride price is NOT negotiable o! To ask for a discount or to negotiate the figure, is considered to be in very bad taste!

presido1:
Other afros call us whatever they want because the read western press and listern to western news. Fraud, scam are bad but is not peculiar to nigerians only. Just take time to check your bulk mail in your email address and read all those mails their you will notice that they are more fraudlent than nigerians infact nigerians learn from them and add a little spice on it. We cannot report or write about it because we don't have access to an international media or even when you write to them they will ignore it and focus on the one that concerns Nigeria and Africa.

Does that make it right?

pilas:
419=igbo.

grafikdon:
Dimka, how many ID's do you have?

Oh no. . . .I should have guessed that it was Dimka a.k.a Mohadana a.k.a Okoroamadi. What a waste of valuable space! Some morons simply do not change!!

ebos:
@ Laudate

I didn’t refer to you directly that you hate Igbos. I only tried to point out evidence that might nail you hence you demanded a sort of that.

Ebos, you didn't refer to me directly that I hate the Igbo? So what was the essence of your previous post where you stated: "Is this not an envidence against you - your hatred against Igbos cannot change?" You posted this remark in black & white! Now you turn round to deny it? Gosh!

ebos:
So, I felt that referring your hushed to a post that condemn the entire race (Igbos) could not be reconciled with your swift condemnation of my remark to a country which I’m also a citizen, followed your comment of ‘back-to-sender’. The very phrase that depict you mind. Why back-to-sender? A direct attack to me, yet you feel I have initiated attack against you. Hilarious!

So, because in your view I decided to keep "hushed" (don't know if that is the right term), you felt that it is evidence of some kind of hatred? Can you listen to yourself? Oh, so you felt my disagreement with your remark was wrong, not simply because I didn't acquiesce to your curses on Nigeria, but because I didn't see the point in wasting my time, responding in kind to Afrika1's comments? Check my post again. I expressed SHOCK at his statements, NOT agreement. Or did you see something different in that post?

Let me explain this again, for the last time. I only pointed out my objections to you, because I felt you were a rational, discerning, intelligent individual, not a prejudiced bat. And as such, you would understand that it makes no sense choosing the path you had taken. If Willywilly, had made that same statement or Dimka, welcome1 or any of the other paranoid, prejudiced folks on this forum, I would have kept quiet. Why? Engaging a slowpoke in a conversation is pointless.

For your information, 'back-to-sender' was NOT an attack, unless it rates in your book as such.  I never added anything new,  to your bad wishes for Nigeria. All I said was 'back-to-sender'. If you offered good wishes to Nigeria, and I said 'back-to-sender' would you be upset? So why are you bothered by such a simple remark as 'back-to-sender,' when I responded to your post? Um, let me see. . . .it is easy for you to dish out the curses, but you cannot receive it? Na wa o!  

Your comments about Nigeria were irritating, because first & foremost I'm a full-fledged Nigerian citizen living and working within its' borders, and earning a living on its' territory. Doing business in Naija with its' deficient infrastructure is hard enough, so when someone comes to add 'curses' into the equation, I take it personally. How would you feel if someone cursed where you live? Let me guess. . .you would clap for him in excitement, right?

Finally, for the very last time, my response to Afrika1 is still up there in black & white. If you wanted a virulent attack on Afrika1, sorry you will not get it from me, because I do not engage people who have opaque bile clouding their vision.

[quote author=I-man link=topic=77110.msg1476189#msg1476189 date=1189258994]Why is this shameless transvestite not admitting her prejudices? Have you cast out that facade of de-tribalised Nigerian you want to portray and do you now agree that you are just another one of Nigeria's parochial citizens[/quote]Oh dear. . . .all these insults, simply because you cannot make a valid point? Kai! Take am easy, make you no kill yourself for nothing. Maybe you are the one wearing a facade, that is why you are tossing the accusation around. Who knows? For the last time, I-man a.k.a 4-play, kindly provide proof about the misdeeds of those dead Nigerians, or forever hold your peace so that we can confer the title of Rumour-Monger No. 1 of Nairaland on you.

Stop ranting like a five-year old, for goodness sake. Be a man and provide the details of their fraud, embezzlement or thievery. Over to you!

ebos:
Laudatte, what did you say when welcome 1 called all Igbos 419? You did not condemn it. Now you quickly rose to condemn my curse. Is this not an envidence against you - your hatred against Igbos cannot change. What evidence do you want again?

Eeyah! So that is what is paining you! I expressed my shock with icons and an expletive. Oh, I guess that wasn't enough for you? You felt I should have taken on the role of a police officer, and fired some abuse in his direction? How laughable.

Go back and read that post and you would see that Afrika1 was ranting about pure rubbish. Just like Willywilly often does. He also went on to rant about other ethnic groups, in his subsequent posts. You can't respond to every retarded idiot that vomits bile, when you know they have taken leave of their senses. I gave that up ages ago. But you are welcome to try.

I have taken several other people to task against unwholesome attacks on other ethnic groups, including the Igbo, but I guess you conviniently ignored all those other times. Or do you want me to post all those links here for you to see? Do you want me to tell you about the other times that members of your own ethnic group have made unsavoury comments about other tribes, and no one took them to task on it, especially you? Were you attacked for it? You even called for your fellow Nd'Igbo NOT to respond to Afrika1, in another of your posts on this thread. Now, you turn round to call me names for not taking Afrika1 to task, on the behalf of Nd'Igbo. Make una see life!

At the end, you jumped up to say that "your hatred against Igbos cannot change." How sad. I actually thought you were more serious than the others in the tribalistic cartel, but you have now bought into their own brand of hatred. Let us hope you can take the blinkers off, and see the truth for what it is.

How your curses on Nigeria can improve her lot, is what am yet to see! But if that is how you get your kicks, maybe I should refrain from further comment and let you indulge yourself.

Am so grateful that you have decided not to make any further responses to me. Can't tell you how relieved that makes me feel. Now I can face more important stuff that require my attention. Au revoir!

[quote author=I-man link=topic=77110.msg1476084#msg1476084 date=1189256500]My opinion. . .no need to get your transvestite self worked up.Its difficult to prove on the net,the corruption of Nigerian politicians of the older generation but the Southerners were corrupt.I haven't read or heard anything regarding Balewa or Bello but I know enough to consider the ones I mentioned as corrupt.

The abscence of evidence is not the evidence of abscence[/quote]Hehehehe. . . .oh mi gosh! Transvestite self?   Nothing wey person no go hear for this place. By the way, why does your lack of knowledge about my gender bother you so much? Abi another thing dey yah mind? Na wa o! Anyway, the jury is still out. Provide proof and stop peddling rumour and hear-say about those who are dead, and cannot defend themselves. Your knowledge of who is corrupt and who isn't, cannot stand up in a court of law without evidence.

NINETOFIVE:
Point of correction, before us is a full fledged bigot, with a lot of hate for a particular part of the country, somethings would never change, you are killing yourself over nothing.

Um. . . .let me guess. . .you are seeking for attention from me, again! Some things just don't change.  _*sigh* You really need to get a life, and stop following Laudate around from thread to thread. All your accusations of bigotry are nothing, but hogwash! Oya, produce the evidence of your so-called bigotry and paste it right here, so that everyone can see whatever silly point you are trying to make. *yawn*

[quote author=I-man link=topic=77110.msg1472400#msg1472400 date=1189158432]Zik is popular despite the fact that he was personally corrupt.Okotie-Eboh a.k.a Mr 10% is loved by his people despite his thievery.Awolowo is adored by the Yorubas despite being a trend setter in embezzlement.So the Ijaws are not unique in their supposed reaction to Alams and are by no means any more confused than other Nigerians[/quote]Erm, provide proof please! This is cyberspace. Not everyone can swallow anything that is being flung around, especially when the persons being named are dead and have no means of defending themselves!

BABEELOVE:
Okay oh! Mr. One Nigeria!!! But why is it that you only appear on mostly "kparakpo" threads Is it because you claim to be "one Nigeria"

Babeelove a.k.a Militia, define what you mean by "kparakpo' threads. Maybe, then I will be able to understand your question, with a view to providing an answer. When I joined nairaland, I wasn't aware that some threads were off-limits to certain people or were strictly reserved for certain groups. If there is such a rule in print, kindly show me where it is written. Those who want to post 'kparapo' threads, (whatever that means!) should set up their own website. Period. Last time I checked, facts were sacred, but comments were free!

Ndipe:
It is symbolic, as you have written, but have you not heard of some parents who have demanded an arm and a leg from their future son-inlaw?

Abadie!   Yes, I have heard of some parents who demand an arm and a leg from prospective sons-in-law before they give away their daughter in marriage, but I was not referring to such people here.

I used the word 'symbolic', because I was talking about cases where (at the end of the day) the bride price is usually rejected by the bride's family, especially among several communities in the South-West and Edo region. Am not referring to cases where it is obligatory that a man must pay a high dowry or bride price, simply because he is marrying their daughter. In such cases, I hear that the more educational qualifications a woman has, the higher the bride price her family levies on the poor, unsuspecting man! 

Please note: Am not a fan of high bride price. It reduces women to a commodity that is being bought or sold.

If a token amount is demanded, like it is often done in many parts of the North, where sometimes the family of the bride asks for 10 gold-plated coins or 700 pieces of the old twenty-five kobo coins, one may understand the symbolic nature of such a request. Those things are a bit difficult to find, so the chap must go searching before he can find it, in order to prove that because the girl matters a lot to him, he is ready to suffer some discomfort to win her hand in marriage, and win the attention of his prospective in-laws. Such things (i.e. the gold coins or twenty-five kobo coins), do not have a significant, monetary value, but the man's effort in finding and presenting them, is what is acknowledged by the family.

seun001:
y did obasanjo ignore yoruba land,
y did he seize lagos LG funds.

suppose u should know that he had a particular hatred for his people because we were his greatest critics.

and i can tell u that the first day Obasanjo leaves his home without security trailing him or he sacks his security at his home,u will know the stuff yoruba's are made of.

and i suppose u didnt know that he has been stoned with pure water in Ota before.

I beg make una no make me laugh. OBJ went to sit for an exam, and the whole hall was heavily guarded by security men. I even heard that after the exams, everyone had to leave before he could depart. Maybe he stayed behind out of fear.

Go and check the road leading to Otta from Lagos. Its' nothing to write home about. I have lived in the South-west for a long time, and I keep wondering what fantastic thing OBJ did for his people, 'cos I sure can't see it. Maybe his people have a better idea, sha!

BABEELOVE:
Which wan be ya own sef Laudate? You too fain trouble---this bini man!!!!!

Point of correction. I'm not a Bini man. Am a full-fledged Nigerian with relatives from all parts of this country.

[quote author=+osisi link=topic=23363.msg1475372#msg1475372 date=1189220974]This girl,you are funny.
I think this marrying late thing is worse in Igboland or maybe I say so because I'm Igbo and lived mainly in Igboland as a youngster.
The men will want to build house and so on before marrying.
Then again the high bride price is not helping matters,to save for dowry is almost like saving for retirement.

Anyman marrying later than 35 married late in my opinion.

babeelove that may be why my brother fled to Auchi to get you LOL.
Who wants to buy the contents of an "80 leaves" exercise book plus a fat downpayment on a wife.
Owerri,and Mbaise area are notorious for milking a man dry.
Dowry should be eliminated so that our men can at least start school runs on time.[/quote]Kai! Can't believe you said that. Make I go back go look door. . . .e be like say na another person dey talk. Were you not the same person saying that other tribes dash out their women, by giving them away for little or nothing? You even went as far as saying high bride price was a deterrent to divorce. Now you come dey talk another thing for here.  [i]Chukwu biko![/i] Wonders shall never end!

ebos:
I never directed my post to any particular tribe. So, Laudatte, you should not take it personal. What you sent revolve within you.

True, you didn't direct it to any particular tribe, but you directed your 'curses' to this country Nigeria, of which am a citizen. And like the Scriptures say: "Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaketh." So for you to have been able to curse the whole country, we all know what resides within you! Not so?

Payment of a high bride price or the lack of it, does not prevent divorce. Having a successful marriage depends on the individuals involved in that union, how prepared they are to work towards its' success and what makes them tick.

In cultures where the bride price is returned on the traditional wedding day or during the engagement process, the offer of the bride price is merely a symbolic exercise. So is its' rejection.

It is done to show that the family values their daughter, far above the price of rubies or naira as the case may be, therefore they will not treat her like a common commodity, haggle over her worth or place a price on her head, no matter how tempting the money being offered may be. It is merely part of the symbolic traditional customs, that add a bit of entertainment to the whole traditional marriage ritual, on the day of the event.  In some cultures (e.g. among the Edo), the money is returned to the father of the groom, who then hands it over to the bride & groom, on the understanding that the money will be used by the bride to trade, set up a business or buy something useful for herself.

A policeman stopped me once. I gave him all my documents, including my ECMR. He looked at it and said it was fake. I asked him to flag down any other car on the road and show me an original one.

After he had delayed me for an hour, his 'superior' strolled down to see what was happening. The chap explained and said I had refused to play ball. Guess what his Oga said: "I don tell you before, make you no dey stop all this troublesome people wey too sabi book. Why you no dey use yah sense?" I was asked to leave without paying a dime.

willywilly:
True!,  IBOS are Marginalised, but it's hand work of YORUBA and HAUSA/FULANI, they want to make sure that IBOS are finished. so as to have easy way of finishing me in the N.Delta ,that is part of there plan.
Yoruba and Hausa/Fulani, don't want a strong challenger in Nigeria. them seeing IBO as a barrier to there evil plans.
What 99% of YORUBA /Hausa Fulani  Wishes IBO is his DOWN FALL. 99.9% of Nigerians knows that.
Yoruba/Hausa Fulani want a weak IBO, So that they can continue to dictate the affairs of Nigeria.
I'm still alive today because, this  tribes believe that declaring total military assault against NIGER DELTA, they still don't know which people they IBOS will side, which may cause a backclash ( lead to Nigeria disintegration).

             IBO MARGINALISED ( YORUBA AND HAUSA/FULANI CONSPIRACY)

You are well known for your untutored outbursts. So no one expects any rational stuff from you anyway.

ebos:
. So, that story of Igbos not united is not new to us. We understand the game and this evil country will remain cursed until Igbos are recognized.

_*sigh* I expected better from you. Let me guess. . . .you stopped being a Nigerian and gave up your passport, years back. That is why you find it so easy to curse this country, instead of suggesting concrete methods to resolve the situation.

Last time I checked, the Scriptures asked people to pray for their land. Those of us that are praying and working to make Naija better, will also pray that your curses will not succeed. Back to sender!

GL:
have u ever broken up with some one,going out with some one else but still in love with your ex, i m in such a situation, i need an advice,

What led to the break-up? Tell us more, before we can give you our opinion.

BABEELOVE:
@Topic


Yes!!!! It is alright to get knocked up before your wedding----the only sure way to know that the "parts" are working!!!!

Why am I not suprised, eh? Am sure you had a bun in the oven, when you tied the knot! Na wa for you o!

I beg, people should leave Soludo alone. He made a faux pas by not clearing his re-denomination plans with the President, before announcing it to the public. He has withdrawn his plans and kept them in the cooler. Can we all move on and let him do his work?

The only question I would like to ask him would be: When did the idea of re-denomination come up? Why didn't he carry it out at the same time that he ordered the change of the naira?

Imagine this: If he had unfolded the plan then, he could have gotten away with it by using the currency changing exercise, to carry out the re-denomination of the naira! It would have been an ideal way to kill two birds with one stone!

ono:
Methink Alams is innocent of many of the charges brought against him by the EFCC and OBJ at the time. As I see it, all of his dressing as a woman to escape from London, tummy tuck and all other bull crap are the handiwork of people who were paid to ''rubbish'' the name of Alams when OBJ was the Lord in the Manor.

Please tell me you were being sarcastic or you were talking tongue-in-cheek!

funloving:
Some people might want to argue that it was a rented crowd that came to welcome him,but in this case that won't be true.
The master criminal visited the Bayelsa State Governeor.

What makes you think it wouldn't be true? Don't you realise it is easy to mobilise unemployed people with a bit of money and lots of fake promises, in order to get them to stand in line and wave for the cameras? Have you forgotten the one-million man march 'rent-a-crowd' gimmick, that ruled the airwaves in the days of Abacha?

nasnas: THE CONFLUENCE STATE

Of The Greatest KOGITES!!!

E KUN O! EBIRA YAN SE! AGBA OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

NA SO E DEY HAPUN

Na only Ebira dey Kogi State? Na wa for you o! Na when you go Kogi last, sef?

Chei!!!

dakmanzero:
dude.

ya strawman argument holds as much water as a basket made out of aforementioned straw

Claiming i know next to nothing about my own culture (HAH!!!!! YEAH RIGHT!!!!) is avoiding the issue.

I say give me a real argument as to what makes these ancient languages relevant.

If the only arguments you can give are sentimental ones you only strengthen my point.

Tell me one advantage the language confers on a person besides enabling them function within whatever tribal clique happens to exist close by at the moment.

we should choose an indigenous language and relegate all other insignificant tribal dialects to the dustbin of history. There's no such language as 'Nigerian'. How shameful.

There is no ancient language that is irrelevant. Every language is a vehicle of ideas, form, content or ideology. All those ancient cultures whose languages are widely spoken today, did not suddenly appear on the horizon in written form from inception. Some metamorphosed from other languages or cultures, while others were codified gradually over a period of time. Languages such as English et al, took their etymology from Latin etc.

So not all cultures or languages made their debut, in a written form. The speakers of those languages popularised its' usage, and it gained wide aceptance. If you feel your own language isn't widely accepted, then propose ways to make it more useful, comercially viable, technically adequate or socially popular.

All over the world, being multi-lingual is seen as an asset. And some translators earn big bucks just to translate documents or acts as interpreters, for those who cannot speak more than one language.

As for the advantage that speaking one indigenous language confers on an individual, I believe I stated before that 'self-identity', is one. Another advantage is the influence it has on an individual's world-view. If you travel worldwide, you will find the Hindi, the Chinese, Malay, Swiss etc. all hanging on tightly to their culture and languages. Ever tried to find out why?

If all you use your own language to achieve, is "just to function within whatever tribal clique happens to exist close by at the moment," to use your own words. . . .then 'good luck' to you. Other people use their own languages for more important stuff. Check out the literary works churned out by writers all over the world, that have won great prizes. Many of them will tell you they drew inspiration from their native cultures or indigenous languages.

Tanna:
and that the men die early deaths because of the women. You all keep mentioning being poisoned by one of the wives because women are sooo jealous, What kind of women are these nairaland members describing if not evil ones? And what perspective if not the Nigerian perspective of your own men and women being in the situation?

The belief is that overall polygamy is bad because the majority of the women will do something horrible to the other wife and kids in order to keep the husband for herself - THAT"S EVIL.

You know what? Tanna, pack your bags & go to any Asian or African country to live in a polygamous household. Spend at least six months with them. Learn the language. Watch members of the family & how they relate with one another. Do an audit. Then come back & share your views with us, before you put your foot into your mouth again.

Grew up with athsma for many years, until I was healed divinely at a church service. Lost count of the number of franol, Ventolin tabs etc. I took while growing up.

Chilla, avoid those things that cause the allergies which trigger off the athsma. Look for an alternative to the beans. Wear a lot of cotton clothes, so that your skin can breathe and avoid synthetic wear that tends to raise body temperature, trap heat or cause poor circulation of air. Avoid poorly ventilated places and refrain from physically tasking exercises.

Finally, try prayers. It works a lot!

dakmanzero:
no-one calls yoruba uncivilized

it is merely irrelevant in the greater scheme of things, globally speaking.

most traditional languages exist as a way of preserving age-old traditions and cultures that define a people.

languages such as arabic and chinese are treasure troves to a wealth of centuries of rich culture.

however the total amount of written tradition held by yoruba is nil. All our traditions are oral. Written yoruba is a modern day contrivance. Oral traditions by definition will die if kept in an old, unwritten language.

Now, if you hold the opinion that oral tradition is somehow relevant, the solution is (was) to invent a writing system for yoruba and commence with the transcription. However in practice all that brought about was a wholesale rewriting of history by whoever was doing the documentation. In my opinion, ORAL TRADITION is a load of rubbish, since it is subject to the whims of whoever happens to be translating it at the time. The language in which it is documented thus becomes IRRELEVANT, as issues of translation have become inconsequential to the point of absurdity, why quibble about the meaning of a word when it was pulled out of the arse of whatever old man happened to be talkking to you at the moment?

so you can document oral traditions in any language at all. why then bother using the original language which has no prior use (since THIS is the use it should have).

Feeling pride in your culture is nice when you actually have a culture to be proud of. Like it or not, what most yorubas call their 'culture' nowadays is just a hodgepodge of influences from all around the region AND western culture, christianity and islam. There's nothing ancient or sacred about it since it changes with the wind. Feeling pride in your glass house wont stop it from being completely and utterly useless.

Nigerians should adopt an indigenous language and scrap all the others. All they do is foster tribalism as people form 'language cults' t the exclusion of non-speakers. If that language is english then so be it. If it is yoruba, thank GOD i don't have to learn some other language. If it is Igbo, all well and good. If it is Hausa at least we get the benefit of being able to converse with practically the entirety of northern Africa. Any language, but get rid of the stupid multiplicity of useless unwritten languages

A long treatise by a man who knows little or next to nothing about his own Yoruba culture. How sad! I have met a lot of Yoruba folks and am sure glad that most of them do not think along the same lines!

Most cultures started with their oral traditions. Later, they were codified or put into written form by those who wanted to preserve certain aspects of such traditions for posterity.

All traditions are influenced to some extent, by those of others around them. Through the ages, people have made contact with various external influences and such influences had a way of diffusing into their own culture. Even those whose cultures draw heavily on written, laid down traditions or customs, have been modified to a large extent by external influences. So dismissing a whole culture as irrelevant, simply because it is not written is untenable.

If people whose cultures were previously unwritten, had chosen to throw their own culture down the drain simply because it relied heavily on oral tradition or unwritten lore, instead of writting it down, a lot of those cultures that many folks appreciate today, would be dead. Culture is dynamic, and it has a lot of influence on human identity (i.e. self-identity and an individual's world view). That is why a lot of nations try to preserve their own cultural history, artefacts, nomenclature and origins.

If you do not know where you are coming from, you may never get to know where you are going, neither will you be able to define where you will end up, eventually.