₦airaland Forum

I knew that’s what you were trying to insinuate.

People will be who they are, there are some Nigerian men here that beat their wives risking jail time.

It’s fine you don’t agree, I always say if you know your values then seek a partner that share those same values Simple.

Bossjakande:
I sware I Neva read it before u edit it.am not surprised cos is obvious u dont live here.forget DAT met in Lagos and very Nigerian talk.before u married u live dere a lot.after marriage u went back. anyway I cant attack u cos 12 yrs in marriage no be joke.u know somethings I dont know so I can only sit and listen.I respect u.but I disagreed with a lot of things u wrote dere.let me say the truth.I dont really agree with u

When I saw this I was like “what a minute?” Then I went to check my profile, this yeye NL is celebrating my NL age lol I think I joined today some years ago.

Bossjakande:
I just realise today is ur birthday
happy birthday long life and prosperity.

Who is this one?

This internet make people delusional. What my dead mother-in-law accomplished while she was alive, you will never reach a speck of it in your lifetime. You better put respect on that name, what has my poor dead mother-in-law got to do with this thread If you don’t agree, state why and keep it moving like a matured logical human being instead of involving a dead woman you don’t even know. Don’t let her ghost haunt you o I heard she was a feisty woman when she was alive.

essenceplus:
Your M.I.L shouts back and wants to know what she did wrong

I actually I was laughing at the part when you said “open your legs... “ I knew you were being sarcastic lol my values too

Unfortunately, yes it will be very hard. My mother-in-law r.i.p never met her, just grateful she raised a man that is not your standard issue Naija misogynist.

UyaiIncomparabl:
Not at all, Liberalchick. Those are not my values. I was obviously sarcastic. I want a man who will completely respect, and not stress my life. A man who will hold me in high esteem. You are totally right. Finding a man like this will be hard. I refuse to be guilt tripped. Most Nigerian men are just too obsessed with submission.

You have an exceptional mother-in-law?

Thank you!! That way it is even way more efficient, why not the best at something take charge, is that not how leaders are chosen at work? You tried sef, you wrote in a few lines what I wrote an epistle for

zeb04:
If you have a better opinion at something, I submit to you. If I have a better opinion at it, you submit to me.

There is no need for confusion. People have different values and choices. What works for me might not work for someone else.

Also, there is nothing wrong in pounding yam for your husband or seducing him at night

Bossjakande:
bros check her age and she is not up to 25.but wen she keep coming here to read wat dese women think her mind will be poison.am not suprised.shout for internet confuse our young girls.den log out, pound yam for hubby and beg him for it at night.

Yes and No. However, we met in Lagos, dated in Lagos.
We are very much Nigerians.

Bossjakande:
hmmm 12 years of marriage I respect u.sorry to ask do u live abroad.

So those are your values, I don’t know if you are still
Single but if you are, look for a man that share the same values as you. I know it will be a needle in a hay stack in Nigeria but they are out there lol. Also please and please don’t settle.

As a mother raising a son I am teaching him these values too because I feel our mothers focused on us too much and see what we are going though now. Shout out to my mother-in-law lol.

UyaiIncomparabl:
1] To not object the man's decisions.
2] To remain foolish and smile sheepishly even when I am seething with pain and anger.
3] To always accept that the man is always right.
4] To mop, sweep, cook, clean, still contribute financially and open my legs willingly like the windows of heaven even at my own discomfort.

Need I add more?

Thanks for the mention.

I can’t speak for anyone else’s marriage but I will try as much as possible to explain from my own perspective.

Let’s start with the definition of ‘submissive’

“ready to conform to the authority or will of others; meekly obedient or passive.”

Yea. So no to submission it is not my MO, the word always rubbed me the wrong way, it always gave me lord and master vibes. So yeah when I was dating I stayed clear of men that believed in submission. It wasn’t for me. Marriage is too long to cede your rights to another human being that is also prone to mistakes.

My husband and I believe both of us have individual rights and choices and no one’s rights is greater than the other. I have an issue with giving someone the role of de-facto ‘leader’ because of his sex, Nigerian men that always like to use the analogy “there cannot be two captains in a ship” forget that the captain of that ship was NOT chosen because of his sex, the captain had to EARN it.
I have seen some family suffer because it had a de-facto leader that was unfortunately not wise or knowledgeable

I have noticed that over the course of our marriage, subconsciously, I now defer some situations to my husband because overtime he has made very good decisions, thus he earned that blind confidence.

In our house no de-factor leader, each one of us is a leader in whatever skill we are expert in, my husband manages the finances not because he is the ‘head’ but because he is very good at it! I am much more entrepreneurial so I am in charge of the side business we created because I am good at! He is the leader when it comes to investment and finances, I am the leader when it comes to our joint business. My husband didn't marry me to be a lord over me or be a dictator, he married me because he believes I can complement him and together we BOTH as equal partners contributing our individual skills, diversities and differences can create a beautiful family.

One thing I also noticed with some Nigerian men is they prefer their wives fear them rather than RESPECT them. They erroneously conflate fear and respect, the two cannot exist together. I respect my husband a lot, he is so full of wisdom and he takes his responsibilities seriously. He in turn respects me a lot and he values my opinion because he sees me as a human being first. You don’t need to shout or command another human being to earn their respect that is FEAR and it erodes with each command.

I also want to add that, some men also quote the Bible to justify submission but conveniently ignore “thou shall not commit adultery” which is one of the Ten Commandments.

Hahaha as in eh. That girl is likely a hypocrite, she has probably had many abortions and now claiming miss virtue. Even if you are against pre marital sex, why condemn an innocent child?

laudate:
Chimo! See finishing....dat girl go just get hypertension with dis your reply.

She is right, for someone that is so happy and fulfilled you sure have a lot of time on your hands hating on strangers you don’t even know.

Sorry from your posts and replies here it shows you have little to no education because your posts lack logical thought.

Again, miss low IQ, you don’t know how forums work. Once someone replies to an old thread, it has a ‘new tag’ and it can get bumped to the front page of a category, that’s how I discovered this thread.

Please take your L and stay off the internet and stop disgracing your ancestors. Use that time to focus on your lonely life and become a better person. Wishing people ill won’t suddenly make your life better. Seriously, who wishes disease on a newly married couple? You seriously need to get a life.

chineloSA:
Lonely and uneducated You wish.

Better be your last reply. I didn't ask you to even start engaging with me over an issue that is over a year old.

Honestly I wouldn't want to get attention from you. Who are you in this life? How will your attention benefit me?

Thank you.

I try as much as possible to speak up for the movement because it has been heavily distorted by radical feminists and bad actors. I also think that when people really know what the original movement was created for most people will become allies

My husband is now more of a feminist than I am, we are raising a boy and a girl. Every month my daughter wants to be something, this month she wants to be a firefighter, the next a nurse and my husband will say “why shouldn’t I fight for a society that allow my daughter be whatever she wants to be, no limits, no labels”

My father was the first feminist in my life, he raised four girls and he taught us not to be limited by the traditional roles that Nigerian society set for us.

olu77:
Well spoken. This is not too much to ask. Women should not be treated as men's property rather they are equal partner in any form of relationship. However, if women in other cultures willingly choose to behave in certain way, their choice should be respected. You made a valid point

We DO if it is her choice. We support all choices as long it wasn’t coerced. That is why we also support women that wear hijabs if they wear it as a choice. That’s real feminism. Any thing a woman says she wants to be within the confines of the law we support. Single, married, President, Pilot, Astronaut, housewife, slay queen. We celebrate the diversity of women.

Kakamorufu:
feminists wont like this oooooo

I don’t think you know the meaning of feminism.

Anyways as a feminist, if this is HER choice then I fully support her. A true feminist will always support the choice of a woman, we recognize that women are different and want different things and we want a society that supports the choices of women.

As a feminist the problem I will have is when society forces this woman’s choice on every woman and demand that ALL wives must behave like this. We don’t hate men, most are married raising sons. We just want a society where our choices are validated too not just men’s. Simple.

CreepyBlackpool:
Spoken like a true daughter of the soil

Don't mind all these yeye feminists.




But las las even if you lie down to serve food, man that will cheat will cheat

chineloSA:
I think you should read where it all started and why I quoted the bible.

You reckon I am miserable when you went and dug up a thread from 2018 . Who is miserable here?


So you need to box people just because they have kids. I can never be boxed. I am against premarital whoring. Period. Sounds like you who.red and gained a bustard that's why you are pained.

There is nothing vile about commenting on issues that are put by you and fellow who.res for public sympathy and consumption. She purposely got the kid out of wedlock and carries on to use the child to gain sympathy and attention and also makes money.

I wished disease for a couple I am bitter . I spend time on the net on other people's issues
I am far from bitter and all you described.

I never post anything personal on the net for public consumption and for likes and comments. The people who matter to me are the ones who know my victories and struggles. And hell NO I don't have to display and explain to a whole stranger whats going on in my life. I don't seek approval from strangers hence I don't post. Sola ( you ) seeks comments and approval hence she gets it.

I doubt you understand how Nairaland works. If the thread is on front page I will comment if I want to. I didn't go looking for Sola with her big forehead just to comment on her who.ring life. I wouldn't. If it was not for Wizkid no one would know who she is. She is a none entity looking for sympathy because she opened her legs in her youth for a man who was not even her half committed boyfriend.

There is no married woman who can do what? Rubbish I will comment how I want to comment and I will not be dictated by a ring and a certificate.

How contradicting, you said I don't have independent views yet you expect me to behave like a married woman. How stupid. You expect me to have my views yet you box me into a marriage box.

I behave like me. My views are clear I dislike who.res who go around making babies for people they are not married to , only for them to cry for sympathy in future. Those who.res destroy futures of their children, future marriages of their baby daddies and they are just good for nothing.

imaginary marriage and life. No love. I don't live an imaginary life, not all of us have to pretend on the net. Some of us live real lives out of social media without any pressure to look and behave a particular way. It's total BLISS. You should try it.

I am so lucky and blessed to be already married to my best friend. He loves me vile as I come. Bless my forefathers. I am completely blessed. Over 5 years into this marriage thing and we going strong. No bastards. No baby mama who.res. Just us.

Hahahahaha
The lies you tell yourself. I am sure if you repeat it many times as you cry in to your pillow every night, just maybe, you might get a breakthrough for once in your life.

Your incoherent reply does not even match what you are replying to. I am now convinced you are not an intelligent person.

Ode, you are making no sense “have children for married men” what does that even mean? and what does that have to with the fact that you are a vile human being hating on happy and successful people Abeg let go of your bitterness life is too short. What you put out in the universe is what you get.

So because you didn’t invent a word you get a pass for using it on an innocent child, see logic? You are not very bright.

chineloSA:
So you reckon I invented the term illegitimate. I found the term already existing and will continue using it.

So your children you born for other people's husbands are blessings, bundle of joy etc. You probably had one for a married man.

I apologise I am so sad and I created the term

He doesn’t have any. The one he concocted and he has been saying for years is “my brother and I suffered in Ajegunle, then I got a two or is it ten million Naira contract and the rest is history”

hollah123:
can u tell us his rag to riches story, people like u are just encourage people to do stupid things for money cos they know one fool is around d corner that will defend them

I spat out the yoghurt I was eating lol

YorubaWarrior:
Dis dude be acting like he feeds the whole of Nigeria. Just imagine if he were to own 0.1% of Jeff Bezos' or Bill Gates' wealth.

Then the world would have to rotate anti-clockwise.

Typical ignorant, arrogant 9ja FOOL!

Wow see as you finished her. I never understand how grown women will call children “illegitimate” I also saw her comment were she wished disease on the couple of a wedding post. Very sad. You have to be very sad in your life to behave like that.

doitforyou:
hahahaha you are very funny.

why do you keep quoting the bible to me? I am agnostic. For someone that claims to not be a christian you sure are quoting the holy book for your facts, (same quotes you say you don't believe in) which shows that you are ignorant and dumb because you don't even have your own independent views. I am not Sola and I don"t have to be Sola to know that it is only a vile human being that will talk about an innocent child like that. I have read your other posts and I saw a comment where you wished disease on a happy married couple. You know what that means? it means you are a very bitter person that is a loser in real life and spends her whole life on the internet hating on the successes of people that don't even know you exist. I know your type, misery loves company, because you are miserable in your pathetic little life you want other people to join you. I am sure you live your best deluded life on the internet, there is no way a married woman with children will refer to innocent children in such an evil and callous way. If you free yourself of this bitterness maybe a man might just look your way.

Do you have anything intelligent to add to this thread?

Jmk9292:
Keep quiet

Sorry I have to disagree. Go read her other posts she is not usually this meek. She knows she has been outwitted on this thread by other posters. Her comebacks were not as sharp because she had none. She touched on a topic that was much more of a bigger scope than she could handle. I sill love reading her posts sha but she goofed on this one.

Viking007:
Perfectly written. The OP has responded to lots of highly provocative comments with class, very "un-Nigerian".

While technically you are correct but she isn’t talking about that, she is referring to ejaculation without orgasm while it is possible it is very rare.

quivah:
This isn't entirely true.
A man can actually orgasm without ejaculation.
Ejaculation and Orgasm are really different and in fact, it's advised that men (as they grow older) learn to orgasm without ejaculation i.e practice non-ejaculatory sex.

So, male ejaculation is actually not male orgasm.

GodIsBiafran:
You talk 2 much. A virtuous woman should exercise oral restrain.

Typical...

IamPopular:
Where are the feminists in the house,the last time i checked this ladies are married oooo..

What has feminism got to do with being married? They are not mutually exclusive. Notable feminists are married. Abi you don’t know the meaning of feminism?

aribisala0:
How do they look different

In Nigeria the main goats are the Sokoto Red and the WAD West African Dwarf also known as Nigerian dwarf

How do you know no one is importing? Truth is you don't or are you the one issuing licenses for export?

No, I repeat they are NOT importing any goats from Nigeria. They already have millions of breeds of the original dwarf goat here, in-fact their breed is even more superior, they have engineered the breeds to produce more milk, nicer sheen coat. Why would they import dwarf goats when they have millions of superior breeds here at a cheaper price, I would know my local pet store sells one and he is not getting it from Nigeria but a breeding farm in Trenton. The name of the breed ‘Nigerian dwarf goat’ is just a nod to the origin of the first breed. I ask again, do you think all British bull dogs are imported from Britain or Afghan hounds all imported from Afghanistan?

The Nigerian dwarf goat is not some rare extinct animal, after the first ones were imported via ships a very long time ago, the breed was easily replicated and since then there have been different types of breeds. No need to import any one, they have made them plenty here.

Ndonu101:
The man was not popular with the EU, UK or US due to his brutality

Nigeria was also facing sanctions from these countries

So it would not have been possible to host such a dictator

Don’t spin this reality into some pan African foreign policy. Abacha did not have a foreign policy and only cared about remaining in office forever

Don’t mind the OP. He was also scared of a coup d’etat, he did not want to travel too far.

Nigerian dwarf goat is the NAME of the breed, no one is importing any present day dwarf goat from Nigeria. The importation was done hundreds of years ago and they have been bred out long ago. It’s just like saying British bulldogs are imported from Britain. It is called Nigerian dwarf goat because that is the origin and they look so so different from our local breed here.

Nice one! OP

However, the list should have been in cities/towns not state. After Lagos and Abuja, the remaining eight should be Niger/Delta states lol. In the east, they ONLY speak pidgin to you if you are not a local and the pidgin is heavily accented. However in Niger Delta, pidgin is our official language o we have no choice if not we won’t be able to communicate, in ONE state alone, there are a million languages unlike other regions where they only have to worry about dialects/accent. Infact, they are even united with one language across multiple states.

maestroferddi:
So you expect a practice that has endured for more than 1000 years just to disappear in a jiffy?

The stigma of being a caste was never about any laws, there was NEVER a time ( since after the civil war, at least) anyone was jailed or banished from associating with a caste, so it has been ‘abolished’ a long time ago. The real problem is the HUMAN element, unfortunately it is very very very hard to abolish prejudice in Nigeria.

Story... try to marry and see if it has really been abolished

Tampa6246:
In San Antonio, TX I guess.... Congratulations anyway

Nope. It is an online University but their front office is in Cypress,CA. They only offer 8 bachelors degree and masters.

Wow see profit margin! I doubt they were fake FAN IDs because Russians were very strict with its authentication protocol. However, it is very easy to get a legitimate one, all you need to do is buy a World Cup ticket! So these guys made bank. All the agents had to do was buy the cheapest ticket ($140-$160) once they did, they were entitled to a FAN ID and subsequently they pocketed the difference ($540!) from some news sites, heard they were 200-400 Nigerians, it if it is from one agent x$540, do the math.

I bought my match ticket online, applied for a FAN ID online with the ticket number, uploaded my passport photograph that was it! and I got my FAN ID in the mail. No interviews, no need to show bank account, nothing.

Also, they caught some Morrocans trying to sneak into neighboring EU Finland.

Urgh! These people ruin things for people, I was so happy that I did not need to go through all the visa application wahala or pay visa fees. I am sure the next host city would have a list of counties where their fans would need to apply for a visa! To be honest Nigerian citizens do more harm to our passport than the leaders