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Family / Re: No Gender Has The Exclusive Right To Be Violent - Solomon Buchi by liberalchick(f): 7:30pm On Dec 18, 2019 |
bukatyne:The first part of the bolded falls under “sustained abuse”. There you go! Humans can walk away! If those that think they can’t win the physical battle can walk away then everyone can, so that’s no longer a justification. You walk away and if what you walked away from is a crime, report it. 7 Likes |
Family / Re: No Gender Has The Exclusive Right To Be Violent - Solomon Buchi by liberalchick(f): 7:21pm On Dec 18, 2019 |
bukatyne:“Violence is the use of physical force to Injure, abuse or damage” Bukatyne, you’ve brought a bias into this discussion - “Women are given a pass because they’re physically weaker than men” You are not being open minded. In your sick boyfriend scenario, the women goes to jail. Irrespective of gender if 1. Your life is not threatened, you’ve a way to escape or walk away and you’re not actually in physical harm then you’ve no defense for an assault and battery. If Ronda Rousey slaps a 5’4” man, in a house that he cannot escape then he’s justified in beating her (if he can lol) and she will go to jail for assault. The law believes if you have means to walk away from a situation that causes you physical or emotional distress and your life isn’t in danger, then that should always be your FIRST option. You can not really be serious that people don’t have the will to walk away from situations that they can. Most people that give in to “provocation” very easily do so because they know they can win the physical battle. P.S this also applies to two men or two women. 4 Likes |
Family / Re: No Gender Has The Exclusive Right To Be Violent - Solomon Buchi by liberalchick(f): 7:00pm On Dec 18, 2019 |
bukatyne:If a man abused you verbally, like really bad, insults your generation or “provokes” you, would you slap him? 1 Like |
Family / Re: No Gender Has The Exclusive Right To Be Violent - Solomon Buchi by liberalchick(f): 6:42pm On Dec 18, 2019 |
bukatyne:A legal based post. Yes! 1. Based on his physical size, the force is not going to be comparable 2. He can walk away 3. His life was not in danger. The law expects the man to walk away and report the girlfriend for assault. On the verbal assault, the legal process will do its work. The police will investigate, people in their lives will be interrogated etc and the man will be legally represented in court. In a civilized society people are not expected to take the law into their hands, if not, it becomes a slippery slope. What level of verbal abuse is enough to warrant a slap? 3 Likes 1 Share |
Family / Re: No Gender Has The Exclusive Right To Be Violent - Solomon Buchi by liberalchick(f): 6:35pm On Dec 18, 2019 |
Legal based post. Physical abuse: The only way to avoid an assault and battery charge is if you can convince the courts 1. You were in fear for your life; 2. You had no way to escape or walk away; 3. The force used is comparable to the force you received. If your 5’2” girlfriend slaps the face of your 6 foot frame in an open park, then you slapped her back and she faints, you’re going to jail. Verbal abuse: Verbal abuse is rarely considered as a defense, if it is, it will be used as a mitigating factor for a prosecutor as to what charge or a judge for sentencing. Verbal abuse is only considered if 1. The verbal abuse is sustained over a period of time and the person snaps; 2. At the time of the altercation, the verbal abuse uttered is a physical threat, e.g “I will stab you”. If your life is not threatened it’s advisable to always avoid situations that causes you distress. If you have a belligerent significant other then remove them from your life. Also, “verbal abuse” is very subjective. 6 Likes 2 Shares |
Family / Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by liberalchick(f): 4:32am On Dec 14, 2019 |
bdchange:Traditional marriage is recognized and legal in Nigeria as long as a bride price was paid and witnesses in form of a ceremony witnessed it. You don’t need to sign papers in a court to be legally married. OP, I wouldn’t wish my worst enemy to stay in a marriage where both the man and woman are unhappy. However, there’s a time in a marriage after some years where everybody is antsy. So I would recommend a trial separation, sometimes that’s what you need, a reminder that you need each other. Also, the grass is not always greener on the other side, the new woman is interesting because she is new and doesn’t live with you! 19 Likes 1 Share |
Romance / Re: Ladies, What Was Your "Coming-of-age" List Of Qualities In A Man? What Changed? by liberalchick(f): 9:10pm On Dec 10, 2019 |
bukatyne:I am very happy this is coming from you, because you ‘ve been voted the model female moniker on NL. You would want all that plus an extra four if you were single today. If you were not married and you’re not bukatyne you would be told you’re picky and unrealistic and that you would drop most when you hit 30. Would you have done that? You hit the nail on its head with the bolded, most Nigerians always say it’s women that have unrealistic standards and then drop them when they hit their 30s. However, those qualities are unrealistic because the way most Nigerian men are made, they don’t have those qualities to give. Most Nigerian women end up settling and when the marriage starts they realize they need those abandoned qualities to navigate day to day living in a marriage that is supposed to be the length of your natural life. 38 Likes |
Politics / Re: Wike Conferred With The Title "Dike Oha" Of Ikwerre Ethnic Group by liberalchick(f): 3:05pm On Dec 10, 2019 |
niaralandtopuser:Oh ok lol, I never heard about it until I got on this thread. |
Politics / Re: Wike Conferred With The Title "Dike Oha" Of Ikwerre Ethnic Group by liberalchick(f): 9:50pm On Dec 09, 2019 |
niaralandtopuser:lol very weird. I had absolutely never heard of it before until I opened this thread. I had to google “Ebonyi” but I couldn’t get any info online, maybe someone will do us the honors lol. Definitely not Abia, Abia was carved out of Imo and from what I heard Imo is what the ‘central/mainstream’ Igbo culture is based on. I think you meant Enugu. |
Politics / Re: Wike Conferred With The Title "Dike Oha" Of Ikwerre Ethnic Group by liberalchick(f): 8:28pm On Dec 09, 2019 |
niaralandtopuser:There is nothing wrong with the Igbos, no one said there was. I love the Igbos and I married one. We’re just rejecting an ethnicity that isn’t ours and correcting misconceptions. Lol to be fair the Igbo identity and unity is a relatively new concept as well. It didn’t take off till after the colonial masters left. |
Politics / Re: Wike Conferred With The Title "Dike Oha" Of Ikwerre Ethnic Group by liberalchick(f): 7:49pm On Dec 09, 2019 |
niaralandtopuser:Very true, the ANIOMA umbrella is disintegrating. There are just too many dialects under the umbrella, also those with dialects that are more mutually intelligible with Igbo tend to want to identify with the Igbo tribe, which an Ndoni man will vehemently reject. 1 Like |
Politics / Re: Wike Conferred With The Title "Dike Oha" Of Ikwerre Ethnic Group by liberalchick(f): 7:45pm On Dec 09, 2019 |
Nowenuse:Because the cultures are not similar at all. We differ in language, food, dress, politics, wedding, just about any cultural practice that defines an ethnicity. 1 Like |
Politics / Re: Wike Conferred With The Title "Dike Oha" Of Ikwerre Ethnic Group by liberalchick(f): 7:34pm On Dec 09, 2019 |
niaralandtopuser:That’s always what ANIOMA has always meant. It is not a word, it’s an acronym of local governments of the Ndokwa/Ukwuani people. Aniocha Ndokwa Ika Oshimili and M, A was added. There is no place that is Anioma. It was a way to bring all the different dialects together. |
Politics / Re: Wike Conferred With The Title "Dike Oha" Of Ikwerre Ethnic Group by liberalchick(f): 7:32pm On Dec 09, 2019 |
Igboid:Does it have to be one or the other? How about he has is own ethnicity completely different from the two you mentioned. What makes you a member of an ethnic group? |
Politics / Re: Wike Conferred With The Title "Dike Oha" Of Ikwerre Ethnic Group by liberalchick(f): 5:46pm On Dec 09, 2019 |
Ewedegubbler:Odili is not Ikwerre. He is Ndoni and he is not Igbo. |
Family / Re: Help..i Feel My Husband Doesn't Love Me Anymore by liberalchick(f): 3:14am On Dec 07, 2019 |
Prec1ous: Of course no one wants to leave their marriage even if sometimes that’s the best thing to do in a toxic marriage. Leaving or separating from a spouse is one of the most difficult things to do and most times, people don’t leave until they’ve gone through some sort of intervention. What you’re doing is minimizing the physical abuse and trying to justify or look for reasons why he might’ve hit her. Barring self defense, there is NO reason or justification for a physical assault. While you’re telling her to talk to a man that has already told her he wants nothing to do with her, a man that hit her because she woke him up putting her at risk for another miscarriage. Is that what you would tell your daughter to do? 8 Likes |
Family / Re: Help..i Feel My Husband Doesn't Love Me Anymore by liberalchick(f): 2:50am On Dec 07, 2019 |
Prec1ous:I hear you, so because he is going through something, she should get hit enough to cause a miscarriage. What kind of marriage is that? Is that not the point of marriage, together as one. If you so much hate being vulnerable sharing your problems with your spouse enough to physically abuse them then you shouldn’t be in the union. 6 Likes |
Family / Re: Help..i Feel My Husband Doesn't Love Me Anymore by liberalchick(f): 2:45am On Dec 07, 2019 |
Habby121:So all a sudden he started seeing you as disrespectful?? This is straight from a cheaters playbook. They need to demonize their victim in order to justify their cheating and assuage their conscience. Anyways, you don’t deserve to get hit. 6 Likes |
Family / Re: Help..i Feel My Husband Doesn't Love Me Anymore by liberalchick(f): 1:54am On Dec 07, 2019 |
Habby121:I am sorry but you need to leave or at least remove yourself from this toxic environment. I know it’s not easy to just up and leave but physical abuse is not something you should endure. He’s a very mean person and no one deserves to live like this, marriage is hard enough as is. While you wait to get yourself to the emotional place you need to be to leave, look for/do something that takes up most of your time. Since he sees every interaction with him as disrespectful, Ignore him completely, keep busy and focus on yourself and your unborn baby, with time you will become emotionally independent from him. 18 Likes 1 Share |
Family / Re: Why Are Fathers Neglected Why Mothers Are Remembered by liberalchick(f): 6:47pm On Dec 06, 2019 |
bukatyne:Lol you just described my father’s people to a T. Although, the women can drink all the men under the table. How come you’re so accurate, did you serve in the SS? 4 Likes |
Family / Re: Why Are Fathers Neglected Why Mothers Are Remembered by liberalchick(f): 6:42pm On Dec 06, 2019 |
fieryy:Don’t mind him he knows better, he got carried away by the recent spate of “what do women bring to the table?” Threads on NL. 8 Likes 2 Shares |
Family / Re: Why Are Fathers Neglected Why Mothers Are Remembered by liberalchick(f): 5:52pm On Dec 06, 2019 |
fieryy:Exactly! Yet these women still find time and space for emotional bonding with their kids. The thing is in our culture is not manly to be emotional, so that aspect of child rearing is outsourced to the mother. 11 Likes |
Family / Re: Why Are Fathers Neglected Why Mothers Are Remembered by liberalchick(f): 5:48pm On Dec 06, 2019 |
fieryy:That’s why I was surprised at his post, I’ve always known him to be objective most of the time. Nigeria’s form of patriarchy is unique in the sense that women are expected to take up traditional roles while not being a ‘liability’ and this has been true even before organized labor. 12 Likes |
Family / Re: Why Are Fathers Neglected Why Mothers Are Remembered by liberalchick(f): 4:30pm On Dec 06, 2019 |
MrBrownJay1: Et tu? You were one of the few good ones left. Do you really think the bolded is the reality of the family DNA in Nigeria? Since pre-colonial era with most ethnic groups and eventual Nigeria, it was never a norm in our culture for a wife to be a real housewife. It’s actually a stigma to be a real housewife. OP, I absolutely agree with you. However, it’s changing, the current generation of Nigerian men are actually more hands on than their fathers were. In my circle, the dads are very hands on, they bond with their kids. 13 Likes |
European Football (EPL, UEFA, La Liga) / Re: Arsenal Vs Brighton & Hove Albion (1 - 2) on 5th December 2019 by liberalchick(f): 11:50pm On Dec 05, 2019 |
Arsenal’s front office is the problem with their profit over trophies motto. 2 Likes |
Celebrities / Re: Chris Hanen Of Ozigizaga Is Dead by liberalchick(f): 11:44pm On Dec 05, 2019 |
RoyalUc:Thank you. |
Celebrities / Re: Chris Hanen Of Ozigizaga Is Dead by liberalchick(f): 11:32pm On Dec 05, 2019 |
RoyalUc: excel101: Danniedpastor:Ndoni, Rivers State. |
Romance / Re: Would You Marry Or Date A Feminist? by liberalchick(f): 10:23am On Nov 26, 2019 |
Apologies. Indeed you did state that some women like men that show emotions, I should’ve read your post carefully. I used the story of my then 7 y/o to highlight how men are conditioned to be stoic. It’s one thing to try to be brave in the face of danger and it’s another to be told not to cry when you’re grieving. It’s very common in Nigeria for people to tell a grown man not to cry. I agree with you that there are more women that are attracted to ‘stoic’ men than not, but it’s because we’ve been socialized that way. Men are conditioned to be stoic, while women are to be demure, virtuous and we are to look for those traits when we’re looking for romantic partners. pansophist: 2 Likes 1 Share |
Romance / Re: Would You Marry Or Date A Feminist? by liberalchick(f): 11:48pm On Nov 25, 2019 |
Don’t mind him, it’s a Nigerian ego thing, doesn’t want to appear he’s losing a debate on a public forum. How can you be paraphrasing when you literally disagreed with him on his premise that “women love stoic men”? LilMissFavvy: 7 Likes 2 Shares |
Romance / Re: Would You Marry Or Date A Feminist? by liberalchick(f): 11:33pm On Nov 25, 2019 |
pansophist: NO You said “women love stoicism” she’s saying that’s not true, that’s a generalization. Not all women love stoicism in a man, I love it when men show emotions, showing emotions doesn’t mean you’re less a man. The “don’t cry you’re a man” culture is bullish!t. I remember when my son was 7 y/old and he was crying because his best friend, his grandfather was dead (my father) and extended family members were admonishing him not to cry because men don’t cry, bulls!t!! Men like women feel pain and loss and they should be allowed to express their emotions without shame. 4 Likes |
Romance / Re: Would You Marry Or Date A Feminist? by liberalchick(f): 11:09pm On Nov 25, 2019 |
Absolutely! You said it way better than I did, and very succinct too. cc. lilwetdick ornicus: 2 Likes |
Romance / Re: Would You Marry Or Date A Feminist? by liberalchick(f): 3:28am On Nov 25, 2019 |
lilwetdick: That’s my point even in countries where SM is banned and censored, yet an outcry on SM caused by a viral moment can influence laws in countries. In Iran, the viral picture and news of a woman that set herself on fire after being caught and arrested for trying to sneak into a stadium. FIFA was also dragged to oblivion. Saudi Arabia women were ONLY allowed to drive in their compounds not on major/public roads. The co-founder of ‘women to drive’, a US resident, in 2008 started posting videos of women driving, these videos became viral. There were numerous campaigns and online petition on Facebook, Twitter etc. There was a planned boycott of car companies who supply cars to SA. Then in 2011, a Saudi woman filmed herself driving on the streets of Saudi, her subsequent arrest made the ‘women to drive’ campaign more viral. Obviously these are very small changes and it doesn’t mean there is now gender equality in Sharia countries. Small changes lead to reforms. lilwetdick: Misleading The Child Rights Act 2003 does not have any effect if states don’t implement it (the constitution gave only states the right, it’s voided anywhere else) Only 16 states have written the law and none are enforced. In Nigeria right now there are no child labor laws. The law that comes close is in the Labour act whose jurisdiction only covers manual and clerical workers. lilwetdick: Ditto above. This law is also non justiciable. There is no legal recourse for Nigerians that experience employment discrimination. lilwetdick: Obviously there is a criminal penalty for a proven sexual harassment. I was referring to workplace sexual harassment where most are civil cases. You’re right! even though there is no federal law, National industrial court was created for employment related civil cases one of which is workplace sexual harassment and they have actually settled sexual harassment cases, just read two cases that went in favor of the plaintiff! http://compendium.itcilo.org/en/compendium-decisions/national-industrial-court-of-nigeria-ejieke-maduka-v-microsoft-19-december-2013-case-no-nicn-la-492-2012 Lawmakers are trying to pass a bill for sexual harassment in schools, churches etc influenced by conversations that started after a viral moment. 5 Likes |
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