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Liberalchick's Posts

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Family / Re: Should I Have An Abortion? by liberalchick(f): 3:08pm On Jul 14
OP, you made a mistake bringing this here on NL, most Nigerians are very hypocritical and judgmental. They would rather preach to you from their moral pulpit and make this about themselves than actually answer the question.

It would be hard for strangers on the internet to give you a hard yes or no, the choice is ultimately yours. We can only give you opinions that may or may not help you make a decision. The two people that your final decision will affect are 1. An innocent child, 2. YOU.

Are you certain you have a stable enough life to bring a child to be part of that life? Are you stable enough to be a single mother? Being a single mother is very very hard. Are you stable enough to go through an abortion that you might later regret? At the end of the day people here will preach and judge but they wouldn’t be there to share the consequences of your ultimate choice. So, before you make this decision that is likely to change the course of your life, you need to give a thoughtful consideration on all your options.

Abstinence as a form of birth control in theory is 100% but in real life for some, it’s a disaster. You obviously have an active sexual life, nothing to be ashamed of, now you need to make it healthy and safe for you. Abstinence doesn’t prepare you for that ONE moment of weakness. As someone said, abortion is not a form of birth control, so you need to get an OB-GYN to put you on a birth control protocol. You also need to insist on a condom during sex, there are STDs out there worse than HIV. If you want to be celibate, fine but you have to put yourself on birth control first.

You’ve obviously made series of bad choices in your life and you are suffering from the consequences, so rather than pile on you, I hope you get to make a decision that would ultimately be best for you and you also need to look back on those choices, figure out what led you to make them, learn from your mistakes and learn to do better for yourself.

An abortion done in a sterile environment by qualified professionals rarely leads to infertility.

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Travel / Re: Top 5 Beaches Every Lagosian Must Visit by liberalchick(f): 5:13pm On Jul 12
Tourists =\= Foreigners, typing otherwise will NOT make it true. That’s how facts work. Next time before you argue with someone’s post, take the time to actually read and comprehend, fact check your opinions, then post a rejoinder. Do not be in a haste to be emotional or confirm your biases and start going on a tangent that has absolutely nothing to do with what the poster said. It serves this thread no purpose.

I actually agree with you, this back and forth makes no sense, there is a break in communication, you seem not to understand my posts.

2mch:

When people say Tourists in any tourism location, the target is foreigners. I am tired of this dumb argument. If you don’t know this then you don’t know what you are saying at all. That is why they say tourists and locals. I don’t think the locals complained to you that the beaches are not good enough so they don’t go to the beaches. Again, you started lying about your intentions when I pointed out your intentions. Anyway, arguing with you is pointless. Nothing you can do.

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Travel / Re: Top 5 Beaches Every Lagosian Must Visit by liberalchick(f): 4:44pm On Jul 12
lol where is the backlash? From one ignorant person that doesn’t even know the meaning of the word ‘tourist’? You thought tourist meant foreigners, I only mentioned ‘locals’ when I said “Lagos beaches should be developed first for people that live in Lagos to enjoy before you worry about foreign tourists looking for prostitutes”. My posts are up there on this thread, go back and read them.

2mch:

I didn’t misunderstand you. You didn’t expect a backlash on the dumb idea. No one ever said tourist and meant locals. Except you don’t know the meaning of tourist. You were obviously judging from the amount of people who visit the beach by the pictures.

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Travel / Re: Top 5 Beaches Every Lagosian Must Visit by liberalchick(f): 4:22pm On Jul 12
lol don’t project your lack of comprehension unto me. I posted my comments and it’s your choice to comprehend and respond. It’s not my fault you misunderstood and you went off on some wild tangent about prostitutes and ancestral lands. Lagos beaches still have a lot of work to do to reach its full potential.

Modified: OP, apologies for derailing this thread, I hope people will continue to post beautiful pictures of Lagos beaches.

2mch:

We both know you didn’t mean this. LOL. A lot of Nigerians go to those beaches every weekend! It has been that way for years! I don’t think you live in Nigeria. Do you know how populated Lagos is? A lot of them go to the beach every weekend. If beach owners sell their beaches they can’t even make as much as they make now. When that money they sold it for finish, they will start making life hell for beach goers. grin

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Travel / Re: Top 5 Beaches Every Lagosian Must Visit by liberalchick(f): 3:31pm On Jul 12
I don’t want to derail this beautiful thread, we are both going in circles and you keep thinking the beaches have to be like Miami before Lagos beaches can be more utilized.

As I said before, Nigerians might be going to the beaches before my ancestors but how many? Most of the beaches are dirty and poorly maintained, for some, the access to get there can be treacherous or the agberos that are posted there. If enough people do not go, how much money can they make from entrance fees? You just want to make this tribal and argue, deep down you know Lagos coastlines have not lived up to its potential.

2mch:

I don’t think you know what you are talking about. How else can beach owners make money if not from entrance fees and vendors? You want them to build hotels on the beach and invite foreigners. Then when they stop you from going to the beach because you look like ashewo coming to disturb the hotel occupants and foreigners you will start crying and protesting. I have traveled to countries that rely on tourism, it’s not as glorious as you make it sound. In fact it’s terrible for the locals. They can’t enjoy their beaches without harassment. Things get so expensive and the local boys and girls have a high rate of prostitution

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Travel / Re: Top 5 Beaches Every Lagosian Must Visit by liberalchick(f): 3:10pm On Jul 12
Nigerians may have been going to the beach before my ancestors existed, doesn’t meant it isn’t still underutilized. Indigenous vendors and beach owners don’t make enough for what the coast is worth. Money is left on the table. You don’t have to sell your beaches or your heritage to get full value of what your beaches are worth. Simple.

2mch:

Nigerians have been going to those beaches before your grandfather was born. Vendors and beach owners make money. So, which other tourist could you be looking for? You want us to sell it so that we can now be looking at the beach from the TV. All these hungry and desperate villagers sha!
Then you will turn around with your dead comments and insult Lagosians for selling everything. There are some things that exist for social and mutual enjoyment

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Travel / Re: Top 5 Beaches Every Lagosian Must Visit by liberalchick(f): 3:00pm On Jul 12
lol ok. It’s not my fault you thought the word ‘tourist’ only meant foreigners.

2mch:

So right now they are not developed enough for you to enjoy? What other development are you looking for? Foreigners? You are not smart enough for me to discuss with you. You definitely did not mean Nigerian tourists. Well, you can continue talking rubbish here. It’s obvious you come from a place where you have nothing and you are hungry looking for money by all means everywhere.

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Travel / Re: Top 5 Beaches Every Lagosian Must Visit by liberalchick(f): 2:53pm On Jul 12
No I won’t get away from your comments, if you can’t handle the heat then don’t post on a public forum.

Again, you are not the spokesman for indigenous Lagosians, your primitive and archaic opinions are yours. We are talking about Lagos beaches being developed enough for people in Lagos to use and stimulate the Lagos economy, you are talking about prostitutes and ancestral lands

2mch:

Advise tour state and village first to sell their waterfront to tourists. Everything you people will just sell. Not everything is for sale. We don’t want your tourist Naira. Take it to your hometown. Why are you getting defensive? I speak as an indigenous Lagosian to you. I can talk about my village and state better than you. You can go to your village and make those comments. The families that own these beaches make far more money than if they sold their beach already. We don’t need tourist Naira that will make our boys and girls prostitutes to perverts and our villagers being asked what they are doing on their own ancestral land. Get away from my comments!

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Travel / Re: Top 5 Beaches Every Lagosian Must Visit by liberalchick(f): 2:47pm On Jul 12
‘Tourist’ doesn’t meant foreigners. Someone from Ogun state touring/visiting the beaches in Lagos is a tourist.

Joromi12:
there are beaches all over the world. Nothing special in nigerians own that us tourist worthy

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Travel / Re: Top 5 Beaches Every Lagosian Must Visit by liberalchick(f): 2:42pm On Jul 12
As I said before that is your personal opinion, you don’t speak for ALL the indigenous Lagosians.

Are the beaches even developed enough for locals to enjoy it? Get it to that level first, before you start moaning about non existent tourists crowding your beaches.

2mch:

Well. We obviously don’t buy into your greed so it has not happened. Go and look at tourist countries and see how locals can’t even afford to enjoy the beach You can go to your village and sell the riverfront t to tourists.

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Travel / Re: Top 5 Beaches Every Lagosian Must Visit by liberalchick(f): 2:31pm On Jul 12
lol I am sure you don’t speak for every indigenous Lagosians. Especially those that will make money from tourist Naira.

2mch:

We indigenous Lagosians like our beach as it is. Thank you.

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Travel / Re: Top 5 Beaches Every Lagosian Must Visit by liberalchick(f): 2:27pm On Jul 12
Huh?? So Nigerians don’t love the beach? With the population in Lagos, I am sure lots of money can still be generated. Our resources are underutilized. Have we even developed it enough for Nigerians to spend their money here before we talk of foreigners?

2mch:

Which money left on the table. You want us to sell our beaches to foreigners ehn? So that they can be asking is what we are coming to do on our beach. Just go the beach, enjoy and go back home. Or tell tour village head to sell all their assets to foreigners

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Travel / Re: Top 5 Beaches Every Lagosian Must Visit by liberalchick(f): 2:18pm On Jul 12
The coastlines in Lagos are so untapped. There is a stretch of untapped coastline along Satellite town that leads to Benin Republic. I once went to a private beach there, it’s accessible by boat. I can’t remember the name.

So much money left on the table.


AroOkigbo:
Untapped source of foreign exchange grin

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Travel / Re: South Africa denies Nigeria visa-free status, grants Ghana - Vanguard by liberalchick(f): 1:56pm On Jul 12
Nope. Huge population is not the problem. When a country has more than half of its population living below the poverty line, no country will issue free visas to such country. America’s population is bigger yet its citizens can go visa free to a country with a population the size of Lagos. What’s the difference? If most Nigerians are wealthy enough to spend tourist Naira in SA and come back, even if we are a trillion in Nigeria, SA will issue that free visa.

So instead of Nigerians being mad at SA, we should fix our economy so other countries will want us in their countries.

Rossikk:
Get real people. Nigeria's population is 200 million. Ghana's is 28 million. Granting visa free access to Nigerians to South Africa will lead to heavy migration that that country cannot possibly handle. It makes no sense for them to grant Nigerians visa free access when they still have a huge population of deprived people in SA that need attention. I wouldn't take this personal at all. We are a huge country.

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Family / Re: My Fiancee Was Raped By Her Boss by liberalchick(f): 5:56am On Jul 11
Is this true or you are just another troll?

You should report him to the local police station. Then, report him to his bosses so they know their employee is abusing his power/authority. When you do, you should be ready to support your fiancée because she is going to get a lot of backlash.

Unfortunately, she might not get justice by way of a conviction or a dismissal at his job. Rape is hard to prove when the victim is a mature adult, the perp is not a stranger and no grievous bodily harm. Her boss can say it was consensual if the pregnancy turns out to be his. Companies should frown at boss and subordinate sexual ‘relationships’ because those relationships are unequal and they are rarely consensual. Also, there is little to no protection for an employee that is fired for refusing to sleep with her boss.

Op, since you know your fiancee and you believe she was raped, this is the time she needs you most.

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Family / Re: Do intertribal Marriages work? by liberalchick(f): 3:34am On Jul 11
I personally don’t think there is anything wrong in marrying someone from a different tribe other than yours.

If you are dealing with your spouse alone, there shouldn’t be a problem with inter-tribal marriages. However, in Nigerian marriages you rarely marry just the individual, you have to marry the tribe too. It’s advisable for women to be much more careful in marrying into a different tribe/culture. There are some tribes that have cultural practices that are not favorable to wives/women. Also, you have to know the answer to “what will be the dominant culture in your marriage?” And be willing to have your children raised in that culture.

For reasons above, most men and women tend to marry into cultures they are familiar with. I see how a Yoruba woman/man would experience culture shock when exposed to Igbo culture. Igbo culture tends to be more conservative than the Yoruba culture. In bigger cities, inter-tribal marriages are much more common.

Yes! There are many successful inter-tribal marriages, it depends on the individual who you are going to marry. I know one example is not a compelling statistic(s), but my mom is a Hausa Muslim married to my Christian dad from Rivers State. My dad was very protective of my mother and he made it very clear to his family that my mom was not to be some punching bag in the guise of “it’s culture”. I am also in an inter-tribal marriage, I married into an amazing Igbo family. I also have Isoko, Igbo, & Yoruba men as my brothers-in-law.

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Family / Re: How Does It Really Get To This Stage In Marriage?? by liberalchick(f): 2:13am On Jul 10
When you put it like that, pretending is not always intended, it’s human nature to always want to put the best foot forward. Living with someone 24/7 gives you access to front row seat to ALL the person, warts and all.

stupidity:
Still doesn’t make sense. why someone will pretend just to get married and later reveal the devil hidden inside. I nor wan experience this thing o.

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Family / Re: How Does It Really Get To This Stage In Marriage?? by liberalchick(f): 1:49am On Jul 10
Because dating and leaving is different from staying and living for 24/7.

stupidity:
From your first sentence, are you saying people change after marriage? Revealing their true colors?

If people can court for months to around 10 years, professing heaven and earth to each other then why cant they stay together say a year to 10years after marriage? Most marriage these days end in months sef.

How can courting be “HEALTHY” then after marriage it becomes “UNHEALTHY” all of a sudden? I find it funny and provoking.

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Family / Re: How Does It Really Get To This Stage In Marriage?? by liberalchick(f): 1:48am On Jul 10
Well, most/some people ‘pretend’ a lot when they are courting/dating, it’s impossible to hide the real you in a marriage. Life is too short to endure a toxic marriage.

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Sports / Serena Williams Cried And Apologized To Naomi Osaka by liberalchick(f): 12:12am On Jul 10
In a new Harper Bazar essay, Serena finally speaks on her outbursts at last year’s US open. She acknowledged that she owed Naomi Osaka an apology. So, she wrote a letter to Naomi, stating how tennis media tried to come in between two black tennis players. She also said Naomi replied and she cried when she saw her reply. Naomi thanked her for her role in more black girls showing interest in tennis, and how Serena is the only person she knows that stands up for what she believes in.

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Family / Re: Do Men Here Have Sisters At All And Still Bash Women This Way? by liberalchick(f): 5:05pm On Jul 08
From the OP. Go read his post, it’s there.

PrincessNZ:


How is the original poster a misogynist?

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Family / Re: Do Men Here Have Sisters At All And Still Bash Women This Way? by liberalchick(f): 11:58pm On Jul 07
To some of what LordKO said, you are NO different from the men here on NL. You are a misogynist with a smile doesn’t mean you deserve a cookie.

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Romance / Re: You Belong To The World’s Rarest Personality-type If You Have These Abilities. by liberalchick(f): 11:40pm On Jul 07
Magnoliaa:


I'm here....

liberalchick what's your type?

Gbeborun cheesy INTP! Also leaning towards INFP.

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TV/Movies / Re: Interior Design Of The Big Brother Naija Bbnaija 2019 House (Photos) by liberalchick(f): 11:30am On Jul 02
How are they wasting money? This is plain ol capitalism. Judging by the popularity of this show in Nigeria, I am sure this company will make their returns many times over, their ROI will be through the roof. I hope they used a Nigerian company.

AccessME:
This how Nigeria has been reduced to

wasting money unnecessary on frivolities

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Romance / Re: Did Pastor Fatoyinbo(coza) Really Raped Busola? Another View by liberalchick(f): 11:12am On Jul 02
If you watched the the whole video then you would know the bolded is FALSE

Most people that have opinions online did not even bother to watch the video. You are either a COZA member purposely spreading fake news to damage her credibility or you just like to repeat what you see online without confirming its authenticity or you don’t care if it’s true or not as long as it confirms your bias.

It’s your opinion/view but if you are going to pretend to have an objective commentary at least watch the damn video.



Sydney17:
Let's look at this COZA-Busola saga from another angle!!!!
The same pastor that raped you, wedded you and your husband.
That same pastor gave you a car as your wedding gift...
You were still a worker in that church till date
You didn't complain

Now you and your husband left the church,
You regain your voice to speak out...
Most raped victims I Know always hated the men who raped them with passion, if they were given an opportunity to kill the man self, they will do it without thinking twice..
He raped you the first time in your house, no shout, no struggle. He disvirgined you and you quickly cleaned up the blood stains that proved you were a virgin so that your sister won't get to know about it.
He raped you a second time, the third time. His wife put to bed, you went to his house to greet the newborn baby, the pastor quickly had raped you again in his own house whereas the wife and maybe visitors that came to greet the newborn baby were present. You stood up, adjusted your pants and skirt, greeted the baby and went home...
Make we still dey reason for Nigeria oo, not because an influential pastor is involved, so it's true. If this pastor was to be a bricklayer, she wouldn't have come out to accuse him of rape.
I'm not saying rape is a good thing and I'm equally not saying the pastor is above mistakes because we are all humans and prone to making mistakes.
But, Haba!!!!! This is consensual sex to me and not rape.....
I have never been in support of these so-called Men and women of God due to their exploitative nature. But this rape allegation doesn't hold water at all.
Truth must be told, no matter how bitter it sounds. I don't know what Timi and Busola stand to gain in all these messes. They have just lost the respect most Nigerians have for them.
Both the Pastor and Busola are guilty.
I rest (KREST) my case, oya attackers, over to you. �������������� copied frm Instagram

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Family / Re: 16 Years With The Same Woman by liberalchick(f): 10:51pm On Jul 01
This is a beautiful thread, a break from the constant woman bashing.

You sound like a good, supportive, loving husband. Your wife is lucky to have you. My husband and I are 16 years together too. Married for 12, dated for 4.

Congratulations! Wishing you more beautiful years with your lovely wife.

LewsTherin:


Not at all. Like hundreds of Kung Fu movies teach us, when the student is ready, the master will appear.

Just kidding.

But jokes aside, there is so much I have learned from my 16 years. If I tried to start writing, it will just lead to bored reading. But you have given me a lead, and I will run with it.



Fortunately, she isn't the garrulous type. I am an introvert and so is she. The problem isn't her talking too much. The challenge we face is in no one talking at all! So we have to make conscious efforts to raise topics for discussion. Talk about the kids, talk about the business, talk about the guy we saw crossing the road in funny shoes, anything. It also doesn't help that we have widely different interests. But we try to find something to talk about.

If by talking non stop you mean nagging, fortunately for me, she doesn't nag. I have made it clear to her though that the easiest way to put a man's back up is to nag and complain unceasingly. She's a good woman. She does her best. On my part, I do my best to keep her from needing to complain.




Considering that we run a business together, I fully understand if and when she's tired from a stressful day. Mostly because I'll be stressed myself. That's what restaurants were created for. Any day we realise that no one is going to have the strength to do any cooking, we stop by some joint or the other and get take out.

There is more to this though. We decided before we got married that we will have no live-in help in our home. (my wish, by the way). So we tend to share chores. Early in the morning, while she's bathing the kids, I make breakfast and pack the kids lunches. Many evenings, I do dinner while she prepares the kids for bed. It's not cast in stone. Sometimes we choose to have what only she can prepare. I help where I can.

But if she is just feeling lazy about cooking, well, I'm a good cook myself. She also tends to cook in bulk and freeze it. So it can be as easy as bringing a pack of soup out and making eba. Or stew and I prepare yam or potatoes or something. And where I can't be bothered either, there's take out. Dominoes. Suya and garri. Bread and sardines. Boli and groundnuts. Options art plenteous. There is no need to make a big deal out of it.



Now this one is a big deal. it can be a deal breaker if not handled properly. But we discussed this before we got married. Long and short, we decided that any issues concerning her family, she deals with it. Any issue concerning mine, I deal with it. But being the man of the house, it is almost always from my family that issues can arise. That's kind of like an African thing. So I set boundaries right from our dating days. If you have an issue with my lady, take it through me. If you think you can straight up bully her because she married your brother or son or whatever, be ready for my banana to fall on you. No joke. Within our first year, I head to tear eye for my elder sister. She didn't act out of malice, and I understand that. But she made my wife cry needlessly.

I guess I am fortunate in that my family is made up of basically sensible people in the first place. Her family respects me as well. So....



Like with in-laws, we discussed this well before we got married. Heck we discussed quite a lot. 8 weeks of premarital counselling will bring up almost every possible issue in marriage and give us time to discus and agree and how to address these issues.

First off, there is no "my money", "her money", "your money" and what have you. We have "our money". We have a joint account for savings and major expenses. At first she ran the budget but over time it became clear I was better at that, so I run the budget now. The bulk of our money lies in accounts in my name - to which she has access to the debit cards and knows the PINs. For mobile apps, my finger print, her finger print can unlock the phone and the apps. We also discuss every expenditure with each other before making it - at least as much as we can. So far, the only time we have money issues is when there is a general shortage of funds in the first place. It then is no longer a thing of who spends for what but more of what do we have to spend for what. The kinds are the biggest expense anyways so.....


I hope this helps.

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Romance / Re: I Believe Bisola Dakolo by liberalchick(f): 1:17am On Jul 01
I like how you people always give international examples as if our cultures are the same. Are rape victims in America treated the same way in Nigeria? Nigeria that rape carries a stigma, no girl wants to be associated with rape. Do Nigerian women behave like Western women? Are they as bold as Western women? Busola is Nigerian, the pastor is Nigerian, it happened in a Nigerian City/ Nigerian society. Can we have enough examples in Nigeria that proves Nigerian women overwhelmingly lie about rape, enough to assume that most rape cases are false?

LarryBee1k:


There is no female sex workers or even work colleague that have falsely accuse a man of rape? Or even the woman that is bitter only because you outsmarted her and next thing is she accused you of rape? Are this situation not happening in Nigeria?


According to law. If you can't prove poo. It means poo didn't happened. Even if it did. The state in which the ungodly act was committed, the legal age of consent is 16. That's why I said he may not be guilty.

But in my heart I want him to witness the full wrath of law if he's guilty and her also full wrath of law if she's lying.


This is example of how easy it's to accuse some of rape. Mind you it's a current issue. No investigation. Gbam. They are already disgraced in front of their colleagues, they've lost their driving job, they lost their respect. In a crazy place like Nigeria, they may be burnt or hit in the head with a giant stone all because of false accusation.

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Romance / Re: I Believe Bisola Dakolo by liberalchick(f): 12:53am On Jul 01
And who is responsible for him bouncing back? Nigerians. Today people made fun of those protesting in front of the church. Rapists have found a very comfortable home in the Nigerian culture.

thebosstrevor:


i was a member in the church and i am not surprised, their are evidences that pastor biodun sleeps with women in his church,many people are aware but cant take action,many top guys in that church also sleep with young women, one has been caught before, i wont mention his name, he was excommunicated, but i dont understand why the pastor wont step down and save his face, i believe he has dint his image for now, in 2-3 years, he will bounce back like nothing happened, that is the sad truth of the story.

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Romance / Re: I Believe Bisola Dakolo by liberalchick(f): 12:47am On Jul 01
Obviously, this rape case was 15 years ago, the state can never take it to court, they will never get a conviction. If we had a sane law enforcement, what they would do is look for a more recent case, with fresh facts and evidence. Men like these don’t change, there are still victims out there. Bill Cosby was convicted on his more recent sexual assault.

thebosstrevor:
Many of these pastors in Nigeria, are serial rapists and molesters, they sleep and take advantage of women and young girls in their church, they are hypocrites and do not practice what they preach,but then make another law for members while they commit atrocities and go free, anybody that rapes, if found guilty should be in jail but i doubt if this case will see the court.

Another timothy omotosho, if we were in a sane system, this COZA pastor would have been arrested and investigated

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Celebrities / Re: Busola Dakolo, Aaramide Abe, Goge Africa, Others Speak At Boss Lady Conference by liberalchick(f): 10:22pm On Jun 30
Go and watch the video it’s available for free on the internet.
chiedozie198100:


and the names of the pastors are....

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Celebrities / Re: Busola Dakolo, Aaramide Abe, Goge Africa, Others Speak At Boss Lady Conference by liberalchick(f): 9:48pm On Jun 30
Well we can never explain why some victims behave the way they do. Have you ever heard of Stockholm Syndrome? Even though it was first used for kidnapped victims, psychologists have started using it for other traumatic experience. Why do some young women that are raped at home still stay, sleep and eat in the same house with their rapist? Why do some kidnapped victims even if they have a way to escape remain with their captors? Humans use repression of traumatic events as a coping mechanism.

Nice try, you didn’t answer my questions though. Rape apologist.

after4:
how can you explain that she was in his church and even got married in that church, Mrs explainer, who officiated the wedding or approved of it. You think the pastor will not approve if not officiate the wedding of his choir master and that of one of his choir member? Try to be logical cos not everyone agrees with this your reasoning

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