₦airaland Forum

everyone knows men are physically stronger than women, no dispute. However, with technology, the need for physical strength is gradually being phased out. I can change my tire and I can top the pressure on my tire. Go check Amazon there are many gadgets there that make these tasks so much easier. Another example, before you would need a man’s strength to drive a nail, now all you need is a nail gun. Let me not even start with power drills.

All that doesn’t mean men and women don’t need each other.

Korllami007:
Okay. Let start from here. Can you change a tire of a car?

Can you dig a well or a suck away?

You are generalizing. Some women already do all that and some get bashed for it.

stupidity:
ofcourse women have rights to all these you mentioned.

But does the equal rights ends there? You know what equal rights is don’t you? Rights to everything and all things.


[b]Until women starts approaching men on the streets, woo men and end up proposing to and paying a man’s dowry. [/b]That’s only when I will take your course or whoever is in this course serious.


You don’t agitate for equal rights that’s only of interest to you and leave the vital ones.

Thank you!!! If you have to put down or denigrate another group just to feel like a top dog, then you are weak!!

The gag is, in real life no one takes them seriously.

AntiBrutus:
I suppose you mean Romance section men, the ones who will never be caught dead in any intellectual discourse outside this section.

They are all suffering from low IQ.

No matter how dumb they are, they are very lucky to be considered more logical than any and every woman, by virtue of owning a dick.

Do not take these alfa males too seriously. If they had any reasonable thing going on for themselves, that is what they will be flaunting...not their pseudo-alfa status.

“She is too emotional” it’s a sexist slur. It insinuates women are devoid of logic and incapable of making rational decisions.

AmazonTopaz:
Men are as emotional as women.
The word emotion is not a weakness but a human attribute that does not make it bad.
You lots are quick to use that word when a woman brings an argument. Like as if sentiments are not emotions and your first comment was not sentimental to the topic in support of your fellow men. Is that post of yours not emotional?

What is wrong in cooking, cleaning and having sex with your husband/boyfriend/man? If I may ask.

luminouz:
Donbachi,..PhenomenaMorgan....why in hell are u entertaining these girls na You are wasting ur time with them.

amazontopaz said her mum isn't submissive in her own home to her husband...and BOOM,aunty came out with a lot of emotional drivel,even likened a man's superiority in a home to being able to beat a woman to submission I mean WTF.

The other breakeroficecream came with her own yarn and all I see are twisted facts and I wonder why these girls type as if dem no go marry abi na dem go pay their own bride price ni? These ones love shouting Dont blah blah to men..blah blah and I wonder why she shouts so much about men on her posts...

The fiery/efufulele one came and started dancing crazily on mentions,further muddling and scattering the whole discourse. She barbecued any sense left out of the other feministas points. Why are these girls so confused?

What I've learned is this...NL versions of feminist are worse than chameleons...they want equal right, yet not equal responsibilities... N they are fvckin hypocrites...I won't be surprised if they are in a man's house right now,doing the do,then cooking and cleaning for him too...only to come online and start all these.

Linda ikeji comes to mind when I read these kinda posts.

“Molosho” never heard this before, very funny

[quote author=AmazonTopaz post=79124267]And the men who patronise them are moloshos and shovels right?
Focus your energy on your fellow men. [/quote

Please may I ask what those qualities are?

PhenomenalMorgan:
The reason why the bible commands women to submit to their husbands is to prevent leadership crisis and most importantly because men are naturally endowed with qualities that make them better leaders than women...
If you feel you can't submit to a guy cause he is "weak" and can't control his own life then don't marry him!! Simple!!
Marry a man you know you can submit to, be convinced he is strong, wise and matured to lead you.

God will forgive you this fine Saturday.

phelonrays:
....chai..... the husband no get joy atall ......
com look like a repented-agbero .......

Op, want to start out by saying I am very sorry for what you’re going though.

First, A man dictates or sets the tone on how his extended family treats his wife and his family. In-Laws will always try to push your buttons because you are not family but a real man is who keeps them in check.

I always see most comments here on NL how men should be alpha male yet most are mummy’s boy. Most will quote the Bible about submission but will forget how you have to leave and cleave to forge your OWN family. A real man PROTECTS his family. A man has to make it known that any insult to his family is a disrespect to him, a disrespect to his wife and mother of his kids is a disrespect to him, simple. Families have to know boundaries. Overtime you will have a good and cordial relationship with your in-laws because every role/relationship as regards to your husband is well defined.

I am sorry OP but any man that stays silent while a woman carrying his child, a woman that he says he is in love with, is being harassed is weak. What’s the point of staying with someone that doesn’t have your back? However, I understand situations are different and things that work for me might not work for you. So, if you love your husband then you have to ask him how important is HIS family to him?

Are they newly weds? The first 1-2 years is always the hardest in a marriage, the couple are adjusting to their new living situation. It’s very hard to live with someone with a different background and personality from yours that’s why marriage is not easy. Sometimes time is needed to adjust the kinks.

Cooking is a skill not everyone will be good at it, with time he will get used to her cooking, that’s why everybody will swear their mother’s food is the best. I have a friend that her cooking is anytime she invites me for dinner I always eat before I go, I eat very little at dinner and claim I am watching my weight. However, you need to see how the husband will be eating with gusto like he is eating party jollof rice.

OP I know you mean well and you are looking out for your best friend but maybe you should give them a little space since they are newly wed so they get to figure it out. Also, when he comes complaining always urge him to be open with his wife as he is with you.

I wish your friend luck.

Hahaha me too, I was expecting to read “now that he sees, he thinks his wife is ugly” lol

bukatyne:
OP, sorry, I thought the husband was blind when he married and now his eyes are opened.

Literally.

What does ‘difficult’ mean? A woman is NOT difficult because she turned down a guy, she is just not interested. What do you guys want sef? If she only wants to date guys she is interested in, you guys will say she is “difficult” “playing hard to get”. If she accepts every date. “She is an olosho”

If a girl says no to you, not the end of the world I am sure there is another girl that will say yes. Nobody is entitled to every girl he is interested in.

Faking a friendship with a girl to date her later is always a recipe for disaster, a girl can like you as a friend doesn’t mean she is interested in dating you, by then you would have already invested your time and emotions, which will just make you more bitter.

That’s not consent though. Ha! Now I get you. So because you see sex as a duty, you feel you have to always make it accessible whenever your spouse wants it even though you don’t want it. Some women/men see sex as something to be enjoyed, NOT a duty, with their spouse and it’s unrealistic to think a human being will always be ready for sex on demand. There are valid reasons not because they are ‘hoarding’ it.

It’s a selfish spouse that puts his/her sexual satisfaction above their partner’s.

bukatyne:
There would always be reasons why a spouse doesn't want sex. There are times when both parties are not in the mood.

However, the concept of consent makes each party realize that this is my duty and I am not doing my spouse a favor and it is wrong to hoard or use sex as a bargaining/reward tool.

Instance A, a sane spouse would join in the race for achievement

B: Seperation & Divorce is allowed for adultery. The faithful spouse can report to a respected figure. STD is no joke.

C: The party who doesn't want kids should get family planning

If you are forced to the point of injury, seek redress.

Na not an old moniker. I only read comments, then make them sporadically.
Yea I really do like your comments and I agree with you more than I disagree. I also appreciate that you tend to have more traditional views than I do, which is fine. I respect people’s differences and choices as long as it doesn’t infringe on mine.

bukatyne:
Why do I feel you are an old moniker?

On a different note.

@you love reading my posts: thanks

Yeah. In a real country.

qualityovenbake:
No matter the amount of money he possesses, incessant disobedience to court orders will hasten his attempt to win back the custody of his child a futile attempt.

Really?
I am hoping they at least make it pass the group stage.

loveinglistic:
ok, Make she score goals tomorrow o, NaijaBet even give us 8.89.

Well...it’s ok if that’s what you believe I am sure if you haven’t found one already, you will find a woman that believes in submission to make you a perfect spouse. As I stated earlier in my post, that’s not an ideology we believe in our household and we are good.

Human beings are diverse and we can’t ALL believe in the same thing. At the end of the day, most people hope they find a good spouse that shares their values.

I appreciate your feedback.

Gaggi:
While it sounds all modern and sensible, I wonder if Mr liberalchick will agree that he is a co-head with his wife or even admit the wife is the head of the house. It's the internet, anyone can say anything. Then again, some men were born weak and it's only natural for the wife to step up as nature abhors vacuum. Every alpha male takes charge and his wife must submit.

A wife should submit to the man all things being equal. I'm not even talking from a religious standpoint. Women are emotional and they take rash decisions, it will be unwise to let them take control of key decisions on behalf of the family. However, I do believe that women have input in how things should be done in a lot of areas.
They should take charge of certain aspects of the relationship or home, they can even give advise on finances if she is a better manager of resources.
I know some men are pussiesss and degenerate low life's who depend on women for survival, I expect the female partners of such men to come online and say proudly that she doesn't submit to her partner. How can she when she is in a relationship with a 'sheeemale'?

PS: submission is not slavery. It is staying under the umbrella of another because he is the leader and you trust him to protect and take care of your interest. Afterall if you didn't why date or marry him?

By the way for me, a woman who allows a man to be a man is the sexiest woman ever.

Sorry Nigerian guys brought this on themselves, what we are witnessing is a symptom of the excessive materialism in our culture. In the 90s and early 00s, girls were happy to receive mix tapes, handmade cards or a wooden frame with an insert of your portrait as gifts. Then internet came, ‘yahoo yahoo’ came and the game changed.

Nigerians always have some need to show off their wealth or believe the success of a man can only be measured by his wealth. Nigerians will rather worship money THAN intellect. Nigerian society only respect people with money. Who better to show off this new wealth to than girls? As time went on Nigerian men started throwing money at girls to prove they were the best suitor for her affections. The more need to show off the higher the financial expectations became.

Black Americans girls chase Nigerian dudes even though they say they’re sexist because, Nigerian guys have a reputation of out SPENDING men of other race/culture.

For example, ‘The act of proposing’, before girls were ok getting engaged without a ring. Then, boys started buying rings and the rings became more expensive. Now one dude upped the ante and started the whole ‘public proposal with a car’ now it’s almost a norm in our culture to propose with an elaborate gift and show off on Instagram.

Sorry the chickens have come home to roost.

Well the mansion looks like a life sized cake

MiaB:
And me didn't even get a cake

*clickbait*
She was complimentary to Wizkid and threw shade at other artists for copying Wizkid.

Oh ok. Gotcha.

lonelygem:
That's why the condition says at no cost and no serious risk to any party..

I was literally about to type this!!

2dice01:
You guys should just get a room

Can I ask you an honest question? Why come to a thread and ask a question and yet not be willing to listen to both sides. Almost all the women (except one) and some men have tried to tell you that it might not be about you but some valid experiences that some women face when a persistent man refuses to take No. However, you have already made up your mind that women are “illogical, fish-brain and attention seekers” etc.

The problem of making such blanket statement is when you do meet that ‘good’ girl you will miss her if you already assume she is all of those things. Life is not that hard or complicated, some girls are bad some are good. I wish you luck.

bigpriik:
It is only a teenager that will be upset when a girl refuses to give him her number, its not a new thing matured guys don't make life so hard she is not the only girl In the world we move on to the next girl.a disciplined person stands on his or her word no matter what !the feeling of being ignored after receiving the number is horrible. girls give out their numbers becoz they want attention to feel good about themselves simple..

haha this is serious. What if she has a boyfriend? Wouldn’t that come at a cost to the boyfriend?

lonelygem:
Yes! They've became enemies to an extent..
If u know what he or she wants is in your possession and giving it out is at no cost and no serious risk to any party but refused to let go, I call that an attempt to frustrate the other party's desire. So, whether directly or indirectly, they've become enemies by virtue of fairness to humanity. We men should learn not to be chickenhearted else we would continue to sabotage ourselves in the hands of these type of women we often find in our own side of the World.

Go girl!!

breakerofchains:
I DON'T CARE.

Submission or no submission, no one, especially a man will tell me how to live my life. I can think for myself and make my own decisions.

Dey your dey.

Period.

First, I want to thank you for replying with a post that is relevant to the thread.

I think you misunderstood me. What I was saying is that the definition of ‘submissive’ is not vague or long winded, the definition is simple “to yield to an authority” in both dictionary and bible. All these quotes in the Bible defined it as such.

Genesis 3:16
Hebrews 13:17
1 Corinthians 14:34
Titus 2:5
1 Peter 3:5-6
Ephesians 5:21-25
Colossians 3:18-24

So, as an earlier poster said, it seemed most people are uncomfortable with the real definition of the word and try to ascribe unrelated actions to the word. So my opinion which is not a fact is why hang on to a word you obviously don’t agree with and let’s all just agree that women should respect their husbands, earned respect that is.

twhy111:
and what's the proper definition the dictionary and the Bible has given to submission?? You have just decided to coined it to suit yourself.
We're in a world we're the women folks keep asking for more and tends to question everything just because they want to keep at par with the male folks.
Go and check the dictionary and be truthful to yourself

Sorry you can have opinions but you can NEVER make up your own facts. If you are comfortable with your husband having sex with you without your consent because you think you have already given him consent when you said “I do”, then good for you do whatever makes you happy.

“There is nothing like marital rape” is an opinion NOT a fact. You are not entitled to your own facts. Sorry. I usually like what you post but I will have to disagree with you on this one.

Yes you were outwitted, the deleted thread was not a good look for you and it wasn’t an educational thread because it wasn’t based on facts sorry. I am happy the mods deleted it.

bukatyne:
Interesting.

Outwitted by other posters you say?

I do not create thread to battle wits. If you go through my threads, you would notice they are for educational and discussion purposes.

No amount of discomfort would change the fact that there is nothing like marital rape.

And the earlier intending wives know this, the better for them and the society as a whole.

If they have issues in the marriage that would prevent the wife from joyfully making love to her husband, they should sort it out.

I am not surprised that posters only seem concerned with the wives.

Should we assume that husbands are never 'raped'?

Yawn

You keep bringing up my marital status like it’s supposed to be some sort of handicap

I am not going to go back and forth with you, I quoted you because I COULD, and you have replied even though your posts had absolutely nothing do with the thread. Now, this exchange is no longer useful to me. I will leave you in your virtual world where you believe you are king and people actually care about what you think.

crackhaus:
But I should be the one asking you that, no?

Quoting me was never the issue, but quoting me and getting all defensive while making it seem like I was trying to convince you, a woman married for 12years who already figured out what works in her marriage. Lady, I don't even recognize your handle.
I mean, come on... You good?

Nigeria and jungle justice sha. One dude I know almost became a victim of jungle justice via a false accusation.

You are really not that bright, are you?

I know you like your women to be seen and not be heard but this woman married or single will participate in a public forum that she was invited to, she will also click on the ‘quote’ button that was put there to be used by people on this thread. You can start a private group/thread if you don’t want a dissenting voice.

crackhaus:
You're really not at peace with yourself, are you?

You are already married and doing what works for you, which is okay. Why are you fidgeting at my opinion still?

Well this is your opinion and it is not a fact, no matter how much you dance around it, the definition of submission is not VAGUE and young women are not confused. It is defined clearly in the dictionary and the Bible. At the end of the day, women will decide and do what they think its best for them and their family not because of what some faux intellect said on the internet.

crackhaus:
UyaiIncomparabl, Hello...

So on the issue of submission, a topic we have delved into quite a lot in this section - it's quite simple really and does not have a master-slave, dominator-dominated connotation, like young women these days like to paint it.
Where and how this idea came about, I have no clue. Perhaps women are becoming too wise for their own good, even when it's not necessary.

There's something called the 'Unity of Command', don't know if you heard of it before. It's a key war strategy that some of the greatest generals the world has known had to abide by. Robert Greene wrote extensively about it in the 33 Strategies of War.
You might ask, what has war got to do with marriage? Not a lot honestly.
But then, real life applications of the 'Unity of Command' can be observed in every structured organization around us. Acîdosís already mentioned examples like one Captain in a ship or in a plane, one CEO in a company (even if there is a board of directors). In addition, you can see it in government with one commander-in-chief (even with a cabinet). In courts with one judge (even with a jury). In church with one head pastor (even with deacons), In heaven with one God (even with the celestial hierarchy of angels), etc...

This is how the 'Unity of Command' works - it's an organizational rule that every structure MUST adhere to in order to succeed. It simply means that there must be one person whose authority supercedes all others, one person whose authority must be deferred to in times of decision making & crisis.
Anything other maintaining the 'unity of command' is a recipe for disaster.

In marriage, the 'Unity of Command' by default is bestowed on the husband. The truth has to be told.
Some of you have been claiming you're not religious and can't go with the biblical/qur'anic instruction and bla bla bla, but at the same time, y'all will probably have a marriage ceremony officiated by a religious leader.
Now, are there marriages where the women seem to be the ones in charge? Of course. It probably works for them that way, but don't ever make the mistake of thinking this is normal. It's an aberration.

Submission in marriage is not blind followership, it's a mental state in which one knows deep down that they are part of a structure, part of the decision-making, but also realizing there is an authority figure to be deferred to.
Alternatively, leadership by the unity of command in marriage is also a mental state. The leader knows deep down that he is part of a structure as well, it is not a blind dictatorship, he also realizes he is the authority figure and as such MUST do everything to make it easy for the wife to see him as such - which is where love comes in.

In a marriage where there is love, there is no argument about who the leader is. Everything flows smoothly. Husband knows when to put his foot down, wife knows what to do to manipulate the husband into doing what she desires while making it seem it was all his idea.
I noticed that EVERY woman who has an issue with submission all have one thing in common - they don't have a single idea how to get into a man's head without making use of their sexual organs, and it always makes me laugh.

What a woman should be looking for is not a man who doesn't see himself as the authority (this will be a problem for the woman in the long run), what she should be doing is teaching herself how to recognize the authority of her husband and at the same time, knowing exactly how to get her own opinions stuck in every corner of his psyche that he won't be able to make any decision without considering her perspective.
Only a smart and intelligent woman knows how to do this, her brain is her weapon, not her body.

And Uyai, 'crackhousé' and I are not the same person. Take note.