₦airaland Forum

1 Brazilian hair = 68
bags of
cement,
1 quality handbag = 10
tankers of water,
1 quality
shoe = 1 trailer of sand,
1
iphone 4 = 4,500 blocks...
These
are enough to build a
2bedroom flat.
Ladies! Please allow
your
boyfriends to be
landlords this
year...

ILLScripts: lol...when did u joing NL?,? Welcome sire!!!

just some minutes ago, check his profile. Lol

Tztyphoon: i've always rated u low.. U knw my choice, wen ur ready hala.. Fact iz, u can neva tie, wit people av won.. |fact|... No wander, u dy always beg me 2 like ur verse on f.b..

dayum! WTF

Ok.. Our oga

Opener-script
wordplay- script (boo.da.pest~ so nice but mik was outnumbered)
nameplay-script (mik fb name [b]KING[/b]sley
personals-script(mik cared less)
metas-mik
punches-tie
multies/rhyme- tie( script rhymes sometimes fell off, bt he jst edged wif multies)
aggression-script
flow-mik (he picked up @d tail end of his bars)
Closer- script//... cos why the ffuck Would I use Guns,when I can always use "pawns"(puns) to ..."CHECKMATE" THIS "KING"!!!!!/
met,pun,wordplay,nameplay @d same damn time.
MVGT: SCRIPT

ILLScripts: And Ibime...I sersly wunt accept any verd coming from ema prince or nosa Gold...so they sudnt bother pls!
@JBOY,KRIZZ...If u think I won...u can as well drop ur verdict pls!

sorry fam am not a default voter here unless dey allow me. I'v already posted d link to some group on fb.

Rap maestro: Personals: Nil.. Didn't see any
rhymes: tie

illscript got personals, wit d u3 ish n all. And you gave multies to script n u said rhyme is tie?. Aint rhyme multies?...

mikuz: Less than 15 minutes to deadline and Illscripts is no where to be found. I've always known him to be a netcee who's afraid of facing my fire!!

he just pinned you, damn see bars.

jstringz: U mus€ have bin wishing she was a broke asss
Hahahahahaha

ah ah who no like better thing?

The students of Warri
Grammar School went
on excursion to Egypt.
On thetomb of Pharaoh
was written "1102BC".
The teacher now
asked"who knows
what this means?"
Nobody except Akpos
raised his hand but the
teacher was not
comfortable and
pretended not to take
notice of him. She then
asked again and yet
only Akpos' hand was
still up.
So she allowed him to
answer. Akpos said "Na
Pharaoh BB Pin be that"

A ghost looks left n
right before crossing d
road.

U KNOW ITS A NAIJA
MOVIE IF
.

~ Chief is inside the car
with the glasses
windup, armed robbers
attack and shoots at
chief, the bullet won't
break the glass but will
kill chief inside the car..:
How come ??
~ A man shoots himself
on the head 3
times...Habaaa!!!!!!!
How in the world is that
possible?
~ RMD remembering
when he was still 7
years old as far back as
1960 and suddenly a
HUMMER passesin front
of him....... Chinekeee
~ Patience Ozokwor
poisons Zark Orji's food.
She stirs the poison so
that it will circulate to all
parts of the meal and
then she tastes it.
Zack Orji dies while she
survives. Nawaa oo
~ Someone flashes back
to 1982 and behind him
is asign board "Vote for
Goodluck" Hmmmm
~ A 7year old character
is washing plates and
he suddenly becomes an
adultin his 20's still
washing the same
plates and wearing the
same trousers...
~ Omotola is depicted as
a poor woman suffering
in the village and has to
do serious farm work to
survive, only for you to
see that her fingernails
are fixed with long
plastic nails and painted
crimson red.
~ Tonto Dike acting a
born again village girl,
yet has tattoos on her
body.
~ Someone dies with
low cut and his spirit
comes back wearing
afro... Na wetin?
~ A woman suddenly
decides to poison her
husband, then she
opens her food cabinet
and bringsout the
substance.
Is poison part of
cooking ingredients?
~ They shoot you on
the leg yet blood start
coming out from your
nose.
~ John Okafor(Ibu) is
the father of Nkem
Owoh.. Bikowho is older?
~ You must cough
before you die...?Lolzz
Add Urs Nd Keep it
rolling...

The Queen Elizabeth, Bill
Gates
and Akpors died and
went to hell. The Devil
has only
one phone and he
charges to
make a call.
The queen told Him
she'll like to call England
to know
how her people are
fairing. She
talked for 5 minutes
and asked
for her bill. He charged
her
$5000 , she signed him a
cheque
and went back to her
seat. Bill
Gates also made a call
to the US ,
talked for ten minutes
and the
Devil charged him $10
Million.
When it was time for
Akpors,he
thought he had to utilize
his
money since the devil is
going to
charge him heavily. He
called
Nigeria and talked for
One
hour 30 mins. Then he
asked the
devil for the price. The
devil said,
its only N30, suprised
Akpors
asked why, the Devil
replied;"you
know this is Hell, and a
call to
another Hell is cheap
since its a
local call"

A man had 2 sons, Muda
and Akpos who sat for
an examination.Whe n
the result came out,
their father called
both of them to ask
them some questions:
Father: Muda, come
here,You did very well in
your exams, you got A's
in chains.
Muda: Yes daddy, I want
to study in America
that's why I got A's.
Father: ... and you
Akpos, can you explain
why you got F's in
chains?
Akpos: Yea Papa its my
Dream to study in
France.

Teacher: Write a
sentence ending with
HAND.
Little akpors: My penis in
your hand.
Teacher: (slapped him.)
You are Mad
little akpors: Sorry Ma! I
forgot to put space
between PEN and IS.

AKPOS IN A BIBLE QUIZ
Q: who is judas?
Akpos: a farmer and
vegetarian.
Q: why?
Akpos: becos judas eats
carrot.
Q: where is judas from?
Akpos: Nigeria.
Q: which tribe?
Akpos: igbo.
Q: why?
Akpos: becos he loves
money.
Q: what is Lazarus
surname?
Akpos: Comfort.
Q: why?
Akpos: becos wen Jesus
came to
his grave, He shouted
"Lazarus
Comfort".
Q: who are the brothers
of
Lazarus that climb the
tree to see
Jesus?
Akpos: Aki n Popo.
Q: why?
Akpos: because he is a
short man.
Q: complete this bible
quote,
"many are called but..."
Akpos: many are called
but few
have the credit to call
back.

AKPOR AND HIS WIFE
QUARRELING.
The wife went to the
wardrobe and
begun
packing all her clothes
into her traveling bag.
AKPOR: where are you
going to??
WIFE: Am going to my
mother's
house.
Akpor left her,then
went to the wardrobe
and
began packing his
clothes into his
travelling bag.
WIFE.Where are you
going to??
AKPOR: To my mother's
house of
course.
WIFE: So what about
the children??
AKPOR: You are going to
your
mother,Iam
going to my mother,so
let
the children too go to
their mother

Two guys, Akpos &
Ochuko were talking at
a bar.
Akpos: My dad is a
doctor.
Ochuko: Wow, my dad is
a doctor too!
Akpos: I'm 24 years old
and u?
Ochuko: I can't believe
this, l am 24 years old
too
Akpos: I have a sister
called Linda
Ochuko: I can't believe
dis! My sister's name is
Linda too!
Akpos: We lived down d
street
Ochuko: I can't believe
what l'm hearing from
u, we lived down d
street too
Akpos: Don't tell me
we've met b4
Ochuko: Same here, l
wonder too.
They both hugged each
other.
Waiter to barman:
What's wrong with this
2 guys?
Barman: Don't mind
those guys, they are
twins living down the
street, but they are
totally drunk now!

jstringz: 1s€ kiss I was in ss1. We had an end of d year parry in skul. €here was dis weird game we seniors were playing called devils baske€. A baske€ carryin some closed up numbered ques€ion will be passed and anybody in poossession of d baske€ @ d €ime d music is cu€off will have 2 pick a number and do as ins€ruc€ed. When d music s€opped dis ho€ chick in ss2 was €old 2 pick a boy and kiss for 5minu€es.

She did pick me 2 my grea€es€ as€onishmen€ and performed d ri€ual. I€ was real crazy. Am sure Rkelly composed "I believe I can fly" for momen€z like da€. Lol

Damn! Thats da bomb. I attended a party where this kinda ish was done, they call it 'the devil's mailbox', i was told to strip a girl, she refused, she had to pay #1000 for not complying.

Akpos followed his wife
to the hospital to
deliver a bouncing baby
boy.
The nurse there gave
them syrup to give the
baby when they get
home but
she warned them to
shake the drug before
use.
When they got home
Akpos and his wife
forgot to shake the
drug as instructed, they
just took the drug and
admitted on the baby.
But Akpos who was
very brave realized that
they did
not shake the drug
before used, he
therefore
carried the baby from
the bed and started
shaking him seriously.
When his wife asked
him the reason
he said he was acting to
instruction.

poshdiva: I don't even wanna think about it
Not after the Mofo finished pouring
All the yam he ate for lunch into
My mouth

Disgusting I tell you

lmfao

Jordiemich: please am too small tp kiss and hear about it at most

but aint too small to read bout it?

uche16: yes o,i remember the girl every time i kiss a girl and i pray i get to meet her again

heymen

FIVE GOLDEN RULES For
F***ing:
1. F***ing
once a week is good
for your health, but its
harmful if
done every day.
2. F***ing gives proper
relaxation for your
mind & body. ...
3. F***ing refreshes
you.
4. After F***ing
dont eat too
much; go for more
liquids.
5. F***ing can even
reduce your
cholestrol level.
SO, REMEMBER ..
FASTING is good for
your health.
May God cleanse your
Dirty
Mind!!! lol

Husband & wife were
arguing on
who is d most Coward
& Scared
between dem.
After a long argument,
they
decided to ask their 2
kids who
they think was d most
Coward &
Scared between them.
The first Kid says: Dad
is d most
Coward cos,
“He’s scared of women:
Whenever he sees a
Beautiful
lady in town; He closes
his one
eye (i.e- WINKs @ d
LADY)……
Wife realizing d meaning
was
very angry with her
husband”
The Second kid (Akpos)
says: “dat
is nothing My Daddy is
not
coward as our mummy
becos,
Mummy is so Scared
(coward) to
Sleep alone When DAD
works
Night shift,
MUMMY Sleeps with d
Man next
door; Sometimes She
invites d
GARDENER or Uncle
KINGSLEY to
Sleep wit Her.
Sometimes Uncle
Mayowa d
Youth Corper, after
leaving ur
room even escort her to
the
bathroom & bath with
her just
because she’s scared.
HUSBAND FAINTED...
who is coward and
scared?

carlos1: U have no idea abt what he said n you r inspired, Are u an alien?

no! A learner

uche16: and i never got to see the angel again.

now i hate this part *crying* and that time gsm, facebook, 2go, twitter n bbm never too popular? Mtchew

Sijo01: So this thread is still alive

OMG!!! What a question... Well! Its still alive as long as your still alive to comment here.

lola.luv:
I can see you are in sore need of a dictionary. See your mouth like Les.

there's som'in called abbreviation in my own dictionary unless yours got stretched word patterns.

Akpors wife went on holiday
leaving the akpors
behind.
The husband got so
Hot one day that he
decided to try ekaite the maid
who had just come
from calabar village and
who seemed clever....
He called the maid to his
bedroom where he had
taken off his pants, he
pointed to his manhood
when the maid arrived.
Husband: Do you know
what this is?
Ekaite: (actin Shy) Yes
akpors: Do you know
what it s for?
Ekaite:Yes
akpors: show me.
Ekaite immediately
dropped to her knees
held the item with both
hands drew closer and
opened her mouth.
Akpors was
shivering with
anticipation.
Ekaite then
began,"My name is
ekaite, I'm 23 years old
and I'm from calabar . I would like to
make a shout-out to
my parents, my uncle in Owerri and aunt.
I would also like to tell
my boyfriend rukewe
that I miss him. Can u
play me Ashawo by
Flavour N'abania?"
Then she finally says to akpors, "Oga, take your
microphone I'm
through...