₦airaland Forum

coogar:
johndoe is obviously on a wind-up.
he does not mean what he is saying whole heartedly but i get the drift of his argument.

i have seen men slapped by women in trains, trams, buses countless times and men are supposed to walk away and be a gentleman.
few months ago, i witnessed a female-on-male domestic violence in my neighbourhood, the victim called the police.

after statements were taken, they removed the man from the house that night, after few days, he later returned but was told he should just live with it, because he was taller, and theoretically stronger than his partner.

their logic seemed to be. . . .it was fine for his partner to assault him, because he would probably be able to defend  himself, and they seemed to have no idea that they were implying that it was fine for his child to see the mother attacking their father.

this is the kind of double standard men have to deal with from the police.
i believe a man should have every right to not tolerate assault in his own home, no matter his body-size or body-shape!

Neither should a woman under the pretext that she should 'submit' or whatever u abusing loving men call it,

davidylan:
wow. do you have sisters? How would you feel if your father "disciplined" your mother? The way you talk about "discipline", i'm just wondering if you people are getting married to 12 yr olds who cant reason or fully grown mature women. Are you ok with having a wife who has zero self esteem outside her home? What is the point of having a home to call her own if she is afraid of you 24/7 and has to thread around eggshells just to avoid "discipline"?
When is it the turn of your woman to finally breath the air of freedom? Discipline with daddy, discipline at school then discipline in her husband's house? What a miserable existence . . .

The quintessence of a woman living with domestic abuse, a miserable existence! What a waste!

@ JohnDoe, I seriously wonder if you have female relations, May you not experience abuse of any form o. You'ld think differently I assure you.

[Firstly the word abuse is not Nigerian, it is a white word, as such I don't use it. I do not support women leaving their homes just because they are disciplined.
Women need discipline, the exact nature of the discipline is the prerogative of the man.
[quote][/quote]Pray tell, who disciplines the man who requires discipline or u solely believe men do not require discipline? Are men perfect in themselves that they do not require discipline?

So you would support a woman that suffers very traumatic experiences because their husbands decide to 'discipline' them to remain married? Shaking my head at the BS you just typed. Typical of a bigot, Double standards! Gosh!

I made up my mind to never tolerate domestic violence after I read this poem below ,

I Got Flowers Today

I got flowers today.
It wasn't my birthday or any other special day.
We had our first argument last night,
And he said a lot of cruel things that really hurt me.
I know he is sorry and didn't mean the things he said.
Because he sent me flowers today.

I got flowers today.
It wasn't our anniversary any other special day.
Last night, he threw me into a wall and started to choke me.
It seemed like a nightmare.
I couldn't believe it was real.
I woke up this morning sore and bruised all over.
I know he must be sorry.
Because he sent me flowers today.

I got flowers today,
and it wasn't Mother's Day or any other special day.
Last night, he beat me up again.
And it was much worse than all the other times.
If I leave him, what will I do?
How will I take care of my kids?
What about money?
I'm afraid of him and scared to leave.
But I know he must be sorry.
Because he sent me flowers today.

I got flowers today.
Today was a very special day.
It was the day of my funeral.
Last night, he finally killed me.
He beat me to death.
If only I had gathered enough courage and strength to leave him,
I would not have gotten flowers, today.

By Paulette Kelly

[quote Wife murderer? Is that not too harsh? To answer your question, no women don't have that right. Please understand that Nigeria is not a western country, we practice sharia as well. Women know their place.
[quote][/quote]Okay. Maybe dat was too harsh. Sorry,      I quite understand that Nigeria  is not awestern country but the  practice of domestic violence should not be acceptable.

Anywayz, please  come out of the closet and answer this question : Would you, Johndoe, support a woman who chooses to leave an abusive husband? Abusive  here being, physical abuse such as slapping, beating, kicking etc

ThiefOfHearts:
Btw thanks for calling walcom out on his two faced BS. 2 sides to what? why not beat up your boss or a police man when they abuse you? Awon elesu.

Exactly what I told my male colleagues in the office! Slap the M.D cause she nags you on so many issues. There was even one colleague who mentioned he slapped his wife because she was taking sides with his mother over him. Can you imagine? I erupted so bad on him that he has never mentioned such in my presence again and now calls me King of women or something. The day our female M.D spoke nastily to him, I asked why did you not slap her?

Domestic abusers never think they are doing something wrong o. They just feel they are exercising their right, power and control over the spouse.

Which is what the thread is trying to change is it can, It been legal in Nigeria is not the issue here, This thread is trying to get answers such as how can they be prevented, who can help, what organisations and possible laws are on ground to assist people who have been in such cases etc,

Aggressively oriented domestic conflict resolution my foot! You sound like another wife murderer in the making. Answer me this, do women have a right to this your aggressively oriented domestic conflict resolution system or is just for men?

9to5365:
@Freesia
Everything you wrote is hearsay, you do not even know if they are fantasy or not. Your pals parents feel very different from you, if they get to know that you are trying to end the daughters marriage, you will become unwelcome in that family. It is pals like you that people pray to God to keep away from their family.

Believe what you will, this things happen! It is  people with your mindset that I pray  do not have sisters, aunts, nieces etc, because you would never support them if they choose to    leave an abusive marriage.

To all you blabbing that a woman runs off the mouth and therefore needs to be slapped or some bull like that, remember it's not just women who runs off the mouth. Many men talk nastily to their wives and noone slaps them, Respect IMHO, begets respect.

Domestic violence in any way is wrong. No man should beat his wife and no woman should beat her husband (I have seen this happen). Recently, my boss almost lost her friend ( a female) to domestic violence, her husband had removed the ceramic wash basin in their bathroom and bashed her head with it.   I wonder where he got the energy from. She landed in the hospital and the fool man left her there, presumably to die, msssccchhheeewww

Johdoe and his likes, Nothing makes domestic acceptable, NOTHING!!!

God help all this men with tiny brains!!!

Mobsync:
I loved her nd she loved me 2,soon d love was lost~i beat her nd used an hot iron on her left ear ,a iron rod in her anus nd alligator pepper on her tongue ~she fainted nd almost died as i used a razor on her v.agina. All dat soon changed as she reported me 2 her dad-the Chief herbalist at okija
**Aargh, my gr8 gr8 gr8 grandad and angel Gabriel jst cant stop makin noise with those harps,its disturbing me here***

tuhott:
I am bisexual and i actually fell in love with this guy like 3 years ago, while i was seeing him i had no other. It was such a lovely relationship that everyone around us knew we were inseparable. A year in the relationship, he got an admission to study in US he promised heaven and earth before leaving and also promise to come back for me. We communicated for like 6 months after he left, then i started noticing his drift and eventually he stopped communicating till today. This is the only guy i've ever loved in my life and haven't found a replacement ever since.

Keep your fingers crossed and your mind open, You just might get hit by cupid sooonnn,

Lol, dat is serious o, Sure hope the relatives understood.

Really can't determine whether it was right or wrong, No clear cut answer in this case.

applelady:
@Liss, thanx dearie, I tried emailing him ,yet he 've not replied, I really miss him though.

You are welcome, girl. Sure hope he replies. Have you tried calling? Would advise you call instead so you can both discuss on the way forward. At least you would know exactly what's going on with him and where you both stand.

Mrs.Chima:
You also not putting all that poo in your head.  Perms, glue, plastic hair, excessive heating, and dye.  You are using natural products and keeping your hair well conditioned that all your hair need.  My friend is a hair stylist and she holds a class every week on hair care to black women.  You will be amaze at how long and healthy the participants hair are.  One lady prior to coming to the class hair was so weak and baldy that it looks like her dog was playing in her hair for a decade.  After six weeks her hair was full and shiny and it was NOT a weave.

I also find it funny when I see women go all out to look good and MEN shouting they want a natural woman.  That what you call a big gender communication failure.  

Lol, Very true talk, or why else would the women increase their artificial level if the men did not wnat it,

You could be dropping us some hair cre tips given by your friend, It would go a long way to help the women improve their desire for naturalnesssssss,

applelady:
Mine was sort of a school boyfriend, he later travelled to london 4 his masters,we spoke 4 some time until this january when he stopped callin. Whenever I remember d love we shared when we were in school, I always wonder where I went wrong.

Why would you think you were the one that went wrong? , You don't need to put yourself under such strain o, abeg. If it's meant to be it will be. But you might wanna try sending a text, email or something to say you miss him or something,

IloveFred:
I have my husband today. He arrived. Our first day together, in Poland

Congratulations, Really wish you d best.

MRbrownJAY:
^^definitely!!!
The poster was simply unknowingly (or knowingly) paying for love. Thje minute her money finished, so did love!
The same way you car will be repossessed if you dont pay the notes, the same way they repossessed her love.
I say its HER damn fault for not having any more money.

lol, cos then he would have still remained to clean it out,

@Shakara4u,

Ain't you gonna tell us your story?

@Inked_Nerd,

Are you gonna update us if you actually find us and what the reaction was?

Can't wait,

MRbrownJAY:
@Liss
Thanks, I am flattered.
As for my posts, they are as real as they can be, that's why they may shock a few out there.

Well, actually noticed cos you have been consistent. Keep it up.

johnjoel:
can never say forgive when i no i'm right

The two of you might both think you are right , i.e each person believes I am right, so, who is going to apologise to whom?
Sometimes, the reaction to being 'right' might go over bounds and hurt your partner's feelings, You can apologise for hurting her feelings and still maintain your views, We can agree to disagree, right?

Such situations aren't always this clear cut,

MRbrownJAY:
^^^ I hope you feel the same way about her not telling you when she kiss someone else.
What a dishonest relationship anyway!!!!
I wonder what people base their relationships on these days?!

You always make sense with your posts, Very rare but glad a few men still reason the way you do,

Wish I knew you cos you are kinda guy I like,

(That's if you are as real as your posts o)

[quote
And I think it has been accomplished, someone who hadn't posted since 2006 was forced to contribute to this thread, even my story which I've kept to myself all these while was summarised here, nice one
[quote][/quote] Hope you are not referring to me o, (just kidding)

@Deep Soul

That was real neat. Very well done o,

@Inked_Nerd

I am also rooting for you to find him, who knows he might also be searching for you right now

seunspice:
@Liss, You took the right decision. What does he want to see you for? Tell you he had to be in the union cause he needed residency papers?
Drop that garbage and move on> you'll be surprised at the number of eligible good guys who are eyeing you as at now.
Cheers.

Many thanks, That's the question I keep asking myself, what does he want to see me for I mean nothing matters anymore

frank3.16:
she was in a girls sec sch, i was in an all boys sec sch. met her in a social gathering and feel in love with her. asked her out(i never dullled) and she accepted, succeeded in only pecking her (guesss i dulled afterall). she was pretty, beautiful and fine. she was intelligent and cultured. i really loved her. i left town after waec, she gave me her pix and it was the saddest day. i loved her. we xchanged letters and after some she stopped. i never forgot her. its been ten years now, saw her on facebook with a kid and a man, who is he? her husband i guesss. tried adding her but she didnt accept my invi. still think i would have made a better husband than the dude i saw with her on fb. funny, i am stll searchin for a girl with her standard. shes moved on but i havent bt life must go on still have the pix, was planning to tag her if she adds me. still waiting

Sounds like you managed to move, at least the girl in your story no. 2 was also perfect

Anywayz, mine went the way yours did.

Met in university, my 2nd yr to be precise , We really loved each other, we were so attuned to each other, You know the feeling of noone exists but this person you are with (even in a crowded room). We would stroll hands in hands and go nowhere, lol,
Anyway, he travelled out, , and even though we managed to keep for about 3 years after, the distance still got to us.
He finally married a white girl and I stilll haven't moved on but life must go on.
He says he wants to see me when he comes home this year but I am not gonna see him cos I know what could possibly happen. Don't need that garbage.

Still praying to meet someone that would erase all his memories from my mind ,

mekaboy:

YES **TITANIC** HOW DID YOU KNOW? WERE U THERE ?

There ke? No way, Just psychic is all

mekaboy:
[b]
SHE WAS FROM A RICH AND ROYAL BRITISH FAMILY, I MET HER IN A SHIP WITH HER FAMILY, THEY WERE HAVING A PARTY. WE WERE DESTINED FOR EUROPE, I MANAGED TO GET INTO THE SHIP AFTER I GAMBLED AND WON SOME MONEY.

WE FELL IN LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT, WE CHARTED , BUT HER FAMILY WAS AGAINST US BECAUSE OF CLASS AND SHE HAD A FIANCE FROM A RICH FAMILY WHO THE FAMILY HAD PREPARED FOR HER, BUT SHE LOVED ME AND I LOVED HER TOO.

I DID A LOT OF PAINTING , AND I PAINTED HER unclothed IN THE SHIP. SHE KNEW HOW TO SWIM AND I DID NOT. THERE WAS CONSTANT PARTY IN THE SHIP.

ONE DAY AS CELEBRATIONS WAS ON, THEY NOTICED UNDER THE SHIP THAT IT HIT SOMETHING AND THE MACHINES STOPPED WORKING, AND WATER WAS COMING IN. IT WAS OBVIOUS THAT THE SHIP WOULD SINK.

THE ALARM WENT OFF, EVERYONE WAS SCARED, THERE WERE JUST A FEW SPEED BOATS THAT COULD CARRY ONLY THE EXTREMELY RICH, AND BECAUSE I WAS FROM A POOR BACKGROUND, THEY HAD TO LEAVE US TO OUR FAITH.

BECAUSE OF THE LOVE WE HAD, DO YOU KNOW THAT THIS GIRL REFUSED T JOIN HER FAMILY AND CHOSE TO BE WITH ME ? THE SHIP BEGAN TO SINK I COULD NOT SWIM, WE HAD NO OPTION BUT TO WAIT FOR THE RESCUE BOAT COMING.

FINALLY THE SHIP SANK, THIS GIRL HAD TO SWIM AND CARRY ME, WE GOT ONE TUBE FROM THE SHIP WHICH WAS SMALL AND I COULD ONLY HOLD ON TO IT WHILE SHE WAS HOLDING ME UP FROM UNDER THE WATER.

FINALLY AFTER ABOUT AN HOUR, I SAW THE LIGHT OF THE RESCUE BOAT COMING, I WAS SO EXCITED, I REACHED OUT FOR HER HAND TO TELL HER WE MADE IT, HE HANDS WERE FROZEN, HOLDING ME UP IN THE SEA.
EACH TIME I TELL THIS STORY I CRY .

I GOT RESCUED, BUT SHE DID NOT MAKE IT ALIVE , SHE IS THE ONLY WOMAN I EVER LOVED, IT WAS SHORT BUT THE SWEET MEMORIES LAST FOREVER.

I HAVE FORGOTTEN THE NAME OF THE SHIP, BUT I KNOW IT WAS CALLED "bosom****" SOMETHING.

SHE IS GONE BUT STILL LIVES IN MY HEART

[/b]

Lol, so silly!!! Bet the ship was called Titanic, right?

Waoh, very inspiring tread, Really this is God working o,

I have been asking God to send me people to help increase my faith through testimonies of His faithfulness, what more can this thread be? As I don't often come online this time of day,

Anyway, my walk with God has not been easy but God has been faithful, I only know of a SURETY that I want to remain in His presence all my days,

[quote
For those who from one reason or the other are still expecting something from God, dont loose hope for HE GOES BEFORE YOU ALWAYS!!!
[quote][/quote]Thanks for this for I have been expecting something from God for about a year now and His response has been "wait", Well, I am waiting and I believe that I'll be sharing a testimony before this year runs out cos He has declared this Year as MY YEAR of gladness!

@Choosy,

Congrats! Been getting some info concerning this but still pretty ignorant about it, can you please give the load down concerning it? Such as which office Ikeja did you apply to and what are the requirements before it can be approved? etc.

I was informed you must be a master's degree holder? Is dat right?

goldplated:
Abeg no vex. Pls ignore the 'may'. I already have arranged employment but its now the embassy im waiting for.to be realistic thats why i used 'may'.You get. So whats your contribution, it may be useful for other people around here.

Congrats, GP. But I had to ask how you managed to get an arranged employment for here o. What's your field? Did you ever study in Canada previously? Or get some Canadian certifications via the Internet that got you the arranged employemnt, Please share!

Hey, people
A friend of mine said he wants to travel to Canada on a visit but does not have anyone in Canada to send him an invitation letter. Now, I wonder if it is possible to get a visiting visa without having anyone invite you? I think it is impossible but not 100% sure, pls advise

i need a nanny too, i stay at oworonshoki.
i would prefer someone who stays around bariga, oworo, ifako/gbagada axia.
pls get in touch 08026606637.thanks

did u get?