I'm sorry Phate07, I couldn't resist to chime in on this discussion.  I'm newly married ( 7 weeks) and I know you said for "single" people, but I thought I would share my comment for the heck of it.  My wedding was pretty simple, but yet elegant but not extravagant.  My colors were purple, silver, white and gray and it was just lovely.  I'm a simple gal who enjoys the simple things in life.  

Please forgive me, as I don't mean to derail.  I guess I have a question, I'm married to a Nigerian and when we were celebrating (dancing) is it all nigerian culture to toss dollar bills at the bride?  I was like what the? They were just tossing them like it was nothing. Of course livedit kept dancing.  

Hmmm, this is a good question.  I would TRULY have to know this other person and COMPLETELY trust her as much as I do my husband to be "cool" with that.  And the only person I would TRUST completely with my husband would be my sister.   Not even my cousin.  Don't get me wrong, I completely trust my husband.  But not everybody who you can call a friend or even a close friend for that matter you can completely trust.  I feel my husband would feel the same way with me.  Even when I'm just "chatting" with my husband's close friends/family.  My husband is very close by.  Then to see me off to an "event" with a buddy of his. Nah.  Then is this case, he'd probably ask me to take my sister or a close girlfriend with me if he can't attend.

Ladies/gentleman, you have to be careful these days with people. Like I said, it's not so much about worrying about your "significant other", it's that other person that maybe trying to get at them.  Just gotta use wisdom my people.

Mrs.Chima:

Yea, pretty much. You have to skim through trash from now on out or you would be wasting your time as Orton stated. Bless your heart though. Hey!

Hey girlie!

Well that sucks (pouting) , Wow! Livedit is gullible. Thank you for the heads up Mrs. Chima and Orton1_0!

I guess I don't see the point in these threads. But, I digress. Livedit was 27 when she abruptly gave her virginity away.

Orton1_0:

^
Just take a look at Livedit taking this not-so-smart person seriously
@Pig, bro I gave Cameron Diaz triplets - true story. . .douchebag!

Orton1_0, are you telling livedit she just wasted a whole essay for nothing on false information??

more like the LACK of GOD in these marriages. So many people are getting married for all the wrong reasons. Like, just because you have a child(ren) with a person does not mean that they were meant to be your mate. Also, not waiting on GOD to send the rightful mate. Not keeping GOD first in the marriage. Getting married because it's the latest "fad" just because other people are marrying. Not taking the time to get to thoroughly know their mate before marrying them. Lack of knowledge, wisdom and understanding of what a marrage is most of the key reasons why there are so many divorcees in this world. Then you have people who are emotionally and spiritually unavailable who are not trustworthy, lack of self control and irresponsible. Marriage IS a blessing from GOD when it is ordained by HIM. And what GOD don't put together, HE won't keep together. I could go on and on. GOD loves us and why would he ordained something that will hurt us. It's sad so many people are under the influence of Satan. Satan is the liar, not GOD.

It's kinda hard to win back your reputation when you are now known as the "ladies man". I would suggest being more selective in the women you decide to "date". Most bad reputations get around like that when you have "scorned" more than your fair share of ladies. You said your "soon to be" wife is in the making, then maybe you ought to try being monogamous with her. Try harder to keep your personal life private. Far as these women harassing your mother, are they calling her or showing up at her door? You definitely need to put them straight because your mother has nothing to do with any of this and don't deserve this harassment. If all else fails, then maybe you AND your mother need to take some kind of legal action against them. With great success and "good looks" as you put it, comes a great responsibility. So by being "successful" and "great looking", you may have to deal with "obsessed fans" from time to time. That's why it's always good to keep God first and pray for wisdom in dealing with people of the opposite sex.

I've never said "thank-you" when being told "I love you". If I'm not "feeling" that person like that or nervous about saying it back I would say: "aawwwll, you're so sweet" or I'll say a joke like: "I love me too" jokenly to shift the mood. "Thank-you" just don't sound like a pleasant suitable response even if you don't want to hurt that person's feelings. I would be offended by those words if the roles were reversed and told to me.

Aawlll. Sounds like you really like her and taken an interest in her. I hope it works out for the two of you!

In my opinion, it really doesn't matter who goes to the market.  Most of the time, we go together. He takes the groceries in and assists in putting them away.  Even when he doesn't go to the market with me, I don't think he loves me any less.  We share in household duties cooking, cleaning, shopping etc.  A marriage is a partnership so we both contribute our parts.

Sounds to me that it was pretty much a selfish/immature reason in contacting you.  She probably just being "nosey" wanting to know how your life was going (w/o her) and to let you in how her life been going (w/o you).  Livedit is NOT for the games and playing with peoples emotions.  She's not being straight forward of her true intentions of why she contacted you.  That is why she can come up with the oldest lamest excuse of "she dialed the wrong number".  

I suggest of not contacting her anymore and if she contacts you, tell her you are nice to hear everything is well with her, wish her well and advise her of no further contact.  She'll get the point of whatever games she was trying to play, she just got played.   Because to me, she's playing games.  And I'm sure you don't want that "drama" (probably again) in your life.  That's why you two are no longer together, right?  Besides, she's "suppose" to be happily married with a child on the way and she has no reason to be contacting an "ex" unless it's really absolutely necessary.

I, personally like my romantic pet name.  Although the most common of nick names, I love it when my husband calls me: *Baby* and *Angel*.  When he calls me by real name, it seems weird.  I also call him: *Honey* and a variation of that for play. "Honey" just fits for him.  Sometimes he would call my "sweetie", but not really a big fan of that.

Nekai:

Since men have a physical advantage in terms of strength and muscular ability, it is cowardly to use this advantage to physically assault women.

Similarly if a child, a mentally handicapped, or frail elderly person were to provoke someone, the unfair advantage makes it a big deal to hit them.

If you use your physical advantage to physically assault someone who is weaker than you and can't fight back it makes you a coward.

A real man who knows his strength doesn't need to resort to such things. It's funny how the same cowards who hit women, wouldn't hit their boss, a policeman, or a professional boxer. (Not to mention they wouldn't hit a man holding a loaded gun)

Excellent Nekai! My thing is, what gives anybody a right to be hitting anybody? That goes for BOTH women and men. Either way is wrong. Whatever the issue is, why not discuss it as two mature adults. Kids play and hit each other on the play ground. Adults shouldn't be doing that. There is no jusification for either adult sexes to be "hitting" each other.

I feel, if you need to seek "revenge" against your partner/spouse, then why not end it and move on to someone else? What's the point? If you decided to work it out and stay, then you agreed to forgive them and let it go. Then that is what you should do. If you seek revenge, then you haven't forgiven them and maybe need to reconsider the relationship. Like everyone else pointed out, you will only hurt yourself in the end. "An eye for an eye" will only begat something bad in your life. Why curse yourself by holding yourself back? What's done is done. What goes around, comes around. And when it does, it's ALWAYS 10 times worse. The best revenge you can do is forgive that person and pray for them.

I don't think it's necessarily wrong with kissing in public depending on where you two are. Just as long as it's "appropriate" kissing. Like someone mentioned earlier, it would be awkward or kinda offensive to watch a couple play "touncil hockey" if you're at a childrens/church event, at the work place, or some place professional like that. But "public" affection displays I consider is outside your actual home. So once you step foot out your house, that's public. Bottom line, it depends on where you show this "public" affection and if it's appropriate and respectful to yourselves and those around you.

Hi MzDark/Mrs.Chima!

I think for some "men" they think they have some kind of "ownership" or stake their claim because of the "investment" they made in producing a child with their partner. That she "bared" his child, therefore they are linked together for life. Which in a way is true. But not the way some men think. Only through that child, not their partner. But I think it's just some immature selfish childish idiotic mentality thought idea that eventually one day he will be brought to their realization that it's untrue.

Atreides:

Relationships aren't only about love-or at least i think they shouldn't be. You have to make rational choices based on the situations on ground. It's like i said,what if i wanted to get married in the next year or so and bros is very clear from the start that he won't be ready for that commitment in the next five years?

I know i want kids(and nobody should mention adoption or whatever). I want to have biological kids someday. What if bros doesn't want kids at all? What's love got to do with it? I love babies. I love them,and i dream of having babies of my own someday.
I shouldn't have to give up my dreams or change who i am for any man.

If we both want different things and we both know the relationship is going/will go nowhere,then why bother? Why waste time on something that'll end? And yes,i said waste time. Relationships take time. I said it before,i'll say it again-as a Nigerian girl i am very conscious of the fact that we ladies have a time frame,so to speak(a little sexist but very true).
I'm too young for marriage(heck,i'm prolly too young for a r/ship sef),but i know that i will get married sometime,say in the next 7 to 8 years,and it's best to do that before late twenties/thirties because by then,husbands will be scarce. . Lol. . Infact i may have to start booking down soon

Life is too short to waste my time and effort on something that's doomed to fail,time i could better spend finding someone who i know i have a shot of building something real and lasting with.

I just seen these replies. Perfect! Couldn't explained it better myself.

Mrs.Chima:

I see you, Mrs. Livedit.

, you are a trip!

adamsrib:

Excellent advice!

Thank you! I try adamsrib!

Nekai:

Would you be suprised to learn that some of those girls don't even know about the job or the fantastic package?

It could be that (like most people) attaining your dream job has given you a burst of confidence that makes you hold your head higher, throw your shoulders back, face shine, and speak in a more confident tone. Confidence is sexy. Dream job or not.

You ever wonder why trouble seems to follow people wherever they go when they are in a bad mood? People pick up on the subconscious signals that are thrown off.

Great post! Or could it be like the saying goes: Good news travel fast.  Maybe that's how they know.  But regardless, that's just the way it is.  When everything is going good and you are on top of the world, people come running.  That goes for both sexes.  Don't have to always be about "women".  I'm sure many of us have experience relatives and old friends coming out the wood work if they can sense "money" in the air.  That's just the way life is.  Don't mean you have to conform to the world.  That is why the good Lord blessed us with wisdom and common sense.

I'm not familiar about Muslim culture/relationships so I'm not too sure about their reasons why or whatever. If I'm fairly new in a relationship, no, I don't care for a whole lot of touching since I really don't know that person and vice versa. But as another poster pointed out, as time progresses and me and this person get to know each other better, it's only natural for our flesh to start acting up. I'm a woman who enjoys kissing, hugging, patting, holding hands etc. I love to be greeted with a kiss or a hug when seeing my partner. That makes me feel warm, special, loved. That's not to say if a person who doesn't do that with their partner cares any less/more. But for livedit, I like it and I would want it. So a committed relationship without "touch" is not an option.

Ms. Potato:

^^^ Thank you for that post and finally I get sumthin sensible.

So do u think that the reason a person handle with a person's nose its because he/she thinks that the nose is cute?

I would say so Ms.Potato.  Almost like a bit of a fetish.  The shape of a nose really defines the face. And if a person has a "cute" shape nose, to those "different" people who "likes" noses will take notice to it.  Or like Mrs. Chima said, maybe some people think noses can be "sexy".

15. Finally,when the bible says that 'no one is perfect', it wasnt joking.

Goodluck ladies!!!
[quote][/quote]


The only true statement made. No one besides God is perfect. From 14 on down was hilarious to me. The devil is such a liar.

Yes, it's possible to love again.  Maybe you need to try relaxing a bit and let things happen naturally.  Finding the right one takes times and something that don't need to be rushed into.  Are you believer in God?  If so, you can pray to God to guide you and give you the wisdom and revelation you need to seek a life long mate.  He already knows what's in your heart.  Why not seek him first and tell him how you feel and what you are looking for and ask him to send her to you. He will.  All you have to do is go to him with a sincere heart in faith and believe.  

As you pointed out, there are women everywhere and many to choose from. But not everyone is meant or right for you. That is, long term.  You want who God wants you to have.  So His way is ALWAYS the best way.  I waited years to find the right one and I couldn't be more happier.  That's not to say you will have to wait as long, because God is a God of his own and He does things when and however He wants.  But all it takes is for you to go to Him and ask him in faith and then wait on Him.  

Until then, continue to date and live your life.  While your dating, you can use this time to get to know more about women. Then in turn get to know more about yourself in the process. Have patience and Just don't lose faith.  You never know, Mrs. Right could be closer than you may think.

I think I know what you mean about the "humming of the nose". My nose is kinda small and my "ex" would handle my nose simply because it was small and "cute" as he put it. His nose was fairly large/wide and he "liked" my nose. My husband don't "hum" my nose, but I've "hummed" his before. I love his nose and it's like seeing a baby with "fat cheeks", you just gotta squeeze them. So I just gotta "hum" his nose. He probably think livedit is crazy. So it don't bother him. He just laughs.

Thank God for His love, kindness, protection, forgiveness and mercy. Livedit was a mess before she became a Christian. She's already silly enough then to add Vodka to the mix was horrific mess. Some people would look at livedit like she needed to be in a straight jacket. Everything and everyone looked funny to me and the laughter wouldn't stop. Far as the opposite gender, well umm. It's under the blood.

I don't see the problem here.  Your friend and this "girl" was never in a relationship together so there possibly couldn't still be in "feelings" there after a year.  Out of the respect with your friendship with your friend, I would suggest maybe talking to him about it to let him know your interest in this girl to see if he would be fine with it.  That way he can never accuse you of going behind his back or "betraying" him.  You were up front, honest and a man about it. He should respect you for that and let you do your thang. If not, that's on him. I'm sure if the roles were reversed, he would go after her. Handle yo business and give it shot!

Although I'm not too sure what this means: "2 gain admision in2 higher institution b4 she could do such tin""  or what does her being a orphan has to do with having "intimacy" is beyond me??

In any rate, it IS quite obvious that she may not be ready to take that next step yet or maybe just with you.  Your issue here is, you are ready to take your relationship to the next level and she is not.   She could be a virgin, she may not.  She may have her own reasons as to why she don't want to have "intimacy".  Maybe she actually wants to wait until she is married.  Only she knows.  Have you tried sitting her down talking to her to find out what her deal is?  In regards to rather or not she is a virgin is irrelevant at this point.  If she is not willing to "give-in" then you have two options, you can either stay and just deal with it or YOU have to decide if that is a deal breaker for you.  You have to decide if you are willing to stay in this relationship even though your needs are not being met or unfulfilled.  Anyway you go about it, please do not pressure her.  She still deserves to be respected and if her not "giving" herself to you is unacceptable, then you just may need to end things and move on to someone who will and is ready for a more intimate relationship.  Cheating is NOT an option! After 2yrs, she deserves more respect than that.

Love is "pain" and "joy". I guess this is why they say "love" (unconditional love) is "long suffering". There are times when it's hard to continue to love someone despite their ways. Or maybe they may do something or say something or even betray you and to still love them. To accept the good and bad in a person. That's unconditional love and some people can really "test" your love.

The bible says: you are to love your neighbor, as you love yourself. So even though I'm no longer "in-love" with my ex. I still "love" him. BUT, with the love of the Lord. For Jesus is Love. And since God is in livedit, then livedit does love him. But that does not mean I should have a relationship with him. I love him with the spirit of the Lord. I just thank God for Jesus, because without HIM, we are all lost.

No. Life is way too short to be wasting time or planting into "infertile" ground when I could be investing my time into someone else who is "promising" or "fertile". If you know deep down in your heart this person isn't for you, why not tell them so that they could move on too and find someone whom is? Pointless my people.