₦airaland Forum

queenfav:
Can i buy you a drink? Some of them are obviously kids. I can't even be caught dead arguing about marriage or explaining how my home works to people who aren't even married. Every home works the way the couple fashioned it to be. Its an institution that thrives on oneness, partnership and friendship.There isn't "a one size fit all" method to keeping a happy marriage.

Thanks for the offer, enjoy it for me. I wish you God's unlimited blessings in your marriage.

Whenever I see comments from people on a thread like this, I don't bother wondering why 99.9 percent of marriages these days end up either in dissolution or being hellish for those who managed to stay put with each other for one reason or another.

Selfish/self-centered/thoughtless/greedy people everywhere. Believers of marriage and haters and non-proponents of oneness, which is the soul of marriage, and altruism which breeds oneness. As far as I'm concerned, there's no marriage where there's no mutual altruism.

You haven't been telling yourself truth as evident in your post. You have to assume responsibility of your actions and inactions and work towards self- conquest - one major thing you'll observe after conquering yourself is abhorrence of using servility to sustain any relationship.

Meanwhile, confidence, not trust, is something you give others unconditionally. Trust is earned not given. In this regard you can adopt my motto: "betray me shame unto you, outsmart me shame unto me."

Nature made human beings to be interdependent upon each other, so don't deprive yourself the privilege.

UjuJoan2:
You mean you read it all

Much respect sir.

Reading na my hobby, so glancing and sussing de post no take me more dan 2 minutes.

I think the appropriate question should be "why do some Igbo people, like some people from other tribes, hate Buhari." I'm a bona fide Igbo man and I don't hate Buhari.

Truth is that you don't hold your sanity sacrosanct, therefore, the reason you strive to use servility to sustain your relationship with people (both family and friends). Believe you me, it doesn't work like that for anyone who values his sanity.

Since you operate from the defensive side of life - your submission says so - you need to understand that people like messr A and B should wear the tag of "people I'm friendly with" not "my friends" both in word and action. They're your frenemies and should be treated as such always, especially Mr B. Seriously, you need to lay philosophy of what constitutes friendship for you because you don't have such philosophy yet.

As for your brother (the one in SA), you don't have to alienate him from your life - since blood is thicker than water - but you need to tell yourself the bitter truth that pursuing oneness with him isn't an option any longer and focus towards maintaining unity with him for family sake. Always do all you can for him selflessly, at any given time, from afar, but without allowing him privilege of sharing constant closeness with you. To him, it'll always be either your dominion or dignity or sanity, consciously or unconsciously. One of the most difficult and impossible task to accomplish in the world remains people of different ethical leanings pursuing oneness with each other, it doesn't matter whether you're of same kinship or not.

As for your mother, you've no better option than to continue to love her, of course without allowing her the privilege to subjugate you - love, diplomacy and conscientiousness will do the magic here.

GrabHisBalls:
And that was how the innocent guy died for a crime he didn't commit. How much is a phone compared to his life?

Accusing someone of a crime without proof is simply madness. Hope the law swings in the right direction here.

I've observed that you always strive to be conscientious - except when you intentionally wish to play your occasional . . . game, lol.

Kudos.

Safitu:
What’s all this crap about?
If I wrote women should treat their husbands right, would you be typing this crap to me? Oga please go and sit down, take the message or leave it.

You've just exhibited attitude of a typical small-minded person. Because to be in the good book of you and your ilk, one must be subjugable. Talk about validation of my submission in particular and hypocritical disingenuousness in general. SMH.

Be a good girl.

@OP

Connotation of your message says women have monopoly of subjugation or manipulation - emotional and psychological power control over offspring of any marriage. Balderdash. No one gender (person or class of people) has monopoly of toxicity or abuse. Your submission is more like a threat than an advice - more like man worship your wife and condone her evil (not man love your wife and continue to do so, so long as she reciprocates same by being submissive) else she'll pit the offspring against you at old age (or at any time or as she wills).

S/he who comes into equity must come with clean hands. Good women deserve the best from their men and vice versa. Every human being should always strive to conquer self.

The difference between an aristocrat and a small-minded person is that while the former strives to conquer self not his/her better half (or the world) and love the better half without hating self, the latter strives to conquer his/her better half without conquering self and hate the better half while loving self.

Once more, no gender has monopoly of subjugation or manipulation (toxicity/abuse). It's evil and should be eschewed by every sane person.

DMPaulSr:
I sabi am gon gon.
We grew up in d same area during my childhood
Went to same sch wit my brother, his sista was my sis classmate..
I knw de guy nah, dat year...
Na my side dem de do training b4 en chnge team...

I saw him last month sef dat he visited..

No worry I go consider your sub-contracting application, lol. I know say I go win de contract las las because dis person wey own dis work na my person.

Fountainofyouth:
I'm in love with chukwueze, he is everything right now

I sabi person wey sabi am, so make you mobilize me make I connect you to am. I no de charge too much money

bukatyne:
@hhaahahahahahahaha at edited.

A lot of people do not know who they are before they get married. So they marry in ignorance and regret when they realize that the person they married is not who they need.

People are also not observant during courtship. People don't change in marriage, they manifest.

Some people don't realize that they need to metamorphosize to what their spouses need them to be at each point on time as long as it is not compromising their core principles.

If not that kinship doesn't automatically signify ethical leanings, I would've told you to introduce me to any of your unmarried sisters, lol. Kudos.

Self-realization is it. A human being true life journey begins at any point s/he achieves self-realization - full or above average emancipation - and if poorly handled, the most common pronounced separation/divorcement words "irreconcilable differences" will automatically take its course.

One of the most difficult task in the world remains two people who don't share same ethical leanings pursuing oneness - unity is possible if managed well, but oneness is impossible to achieve in such setting.

AntiBrutus:
Ahnahn, baby!
You kept something like this away from me?

Lol @ hit and run. That will take a lot more than my picture to achieve though.

You don't have to panic. They're under control. lol.

Fountainofyouth:
Eeeem, LordKO pls we would like to know the 23monikers that asked about Poco, some people here are nl celebrity lmao

Truth is that many of them are looking for ways to "settle scores" with her as they usually put it, while less than 5 said they're looking for a way to "hit and run." lol. In fact, I think one person owns most of the monikers.

All the same, I'll not expose them because most of them listened to my wise counsel, while some have deactivated. I haven't mentioned this to her prior to this day though.

But you self, you like wahala. Amebo, lol.

Fountainofyouth:
I am waiting for them, I will e-claw them to oblivion

I know what you can do. lol.

Fountainofyouth:
I am here for the laughs and drama

Very soon they'll count you as one of my many alternatives.

truthsayer009:
Sir, 23 is a huge number

it fit be say one person get many of dem

AntiBrutus:
The way they have tagged me to you is enough to block serious suitors. It is only necessary you take me out of this spinsterhood.

Don't worry, even if you dey 100 years or worwor pass every human being or no get hope for survival for dis world, I go marry you at the appropriate time, after all my house for village no too far for your family house for village. lol. Now I know why dis person de para na because I said the other time that I will soon come and eat achara soup for your house

Penisinpenisout:
Is this that elder guy again? Cause anytime I see someone obsessing over Poco, I know it's elder.

Lol. I'm now elder and his monikers too.

CaptainMitch:
It is a case of self love or self pleasure

Bumpkins like you can believe anything.

AntiBrutus:
Lmao!!! I don't know why they keep thinking we are an item. I have addressed that, yet some wouldn't give up.

What do they want to use everything about me to do? Nairalanders sef!

Since they've all turned to seers, I'll fly down there to pay your bride price before the end of this week. lol.

LordKO I am going this for your own good.
You need help

SMH. Why not say I own every moniker that quotes me or that I own all the monikers on Nairaland. If you have interest on her, must you cast aspersion my on moniker (rubbish my moniker) before having your way with her? I'm not into a relationship with any Nairalander and for the life of me I haven't sent a PM to any Nairalander before. lol.

And citing that I do change location from one country to another almost on weekly basis and do access my account with both personal and public WIFI wherever I'm, you can't successfully establish a direct link between my account and any other fictitious one you ascribed to me.

By the way, assuming that I own the monikers as you erroneously ascribed to me, what else then?

P tell the boys who have interest in you that I'm not a stumbling block for them. In fact, if not for one thing, I would've made available monikers of about 23 people who have at one time or the other sent me message and asking me to tell them everything about you.

In fact, if any of your boys make me vex, I'll fly down there to pay your bride price before the end of this week.

Penisinpenisout:
And what's wrong with being a cynic? If you're older than 25 and still are still not a cynic, then you're an NPC.

Unfortunately I don't put up with small-minded people, so direct your further mentions to your ilk. Or, when you outgrow mental parochialism you can start quoting me so that I can tell you why cynicism has no place in a healthy interpersonal relationship.

Before I leave you to your fate, discernment is different from cynicism, so avoid mistaking the former for the latter.

Cynicism and derision - it can't be one.

A selfless woman is a bliss. And woe betide him if he fails to treat her as a queen constantly - other things being equal - irrespective of her economic standing in the future. Or capitalizes on her selflessness and become complacent and/or exploitative.

There is more happiness in giving than there is in receiving though, as a man, so he needs to work harder and take proper care of her.

This is a pure case of psychosis. They should just take him to any psychiatric hospital around.

truthsayer009:
Replying to this below:
once the conditions are immaterial/attribute based, it's considered as "genuine love (talking about intimate relationship here)."

Only women who already give themselves comfort via being financially stable, can only ask for pleasure (emotionally, sexually, caring etc) & omit the comfort because they already have it.

Thus, the conditions can now be considered as immaterial/attribute based, because she already has comfort.

Get back to me when you recognize the fact that human beings are of different ethical leanings.

truthsayer009:
Just putting it out there, nothing like unconditional love Ma'am. Both for you & LordKo.

There's something like unconditional love - I know because I practice it. However, unconditionality of love doesn't negate conditionality of falling in love and staying in love - this is while I always postulate and posit that altruism doesn't mean absence of conscientiousness - and once the conditions are immaterial/attribute based it's considered as "genuine love (talking about intimate relationship here)."

Altruism and conscientiousness aren't interwoven, they're for checks and balances.

desvi:
love is not a woman's forte preacher

Small-minded people like you always long for something you can't give and can't accept in good faith that which you give easily. Because I gave you a polite reply on your first mention you then decided to capitalize on it to mete out insult on me.

No class of people have monopoly of toxicity.

desvi:
why would I have a problem with a word that most of you are not even capable of explaining in practical terms
my problem is with the statement that love is not a woman's forte
such nonsense
but funny

Shut up! Kindly look for your ilk elsewhere because I don't put up with small-minded people.

Bumpkin.

desvi:
why the need to preach it then?
if it's their forte

how you people can make such statements with a straight face is astonishing

You don join bad gang. Na women wey de for bad gang de fear that word. lol.

ubunja:
Statements like these vex me.

Lol. Love (the big love) is a variant of goodness, and respect is a constituent of goodness (love). Maybe you'll understand it in this format.

Emphasis on "the big love." Fancy is love, admiration is love, care is love, feelings is love - all these smaller love are constituents of the big love. The big love is encompassing.