₦airaland Forum

Gloriagee:
Internet psychologist plenty for here. Now assuming shes was really a sociopath, will she be sensitive enough to realize her actions could be hurting another ie the stepmother.

Your indirect tantrum says a lot about how parochial you're mentally. As a typical bumpkin (you're), I don't expect you to know that there's a distinction between a sociopath and a psychopath, and I'm not surprised that you can't discern and extrapolate thoughts and submissions.

Vamoose and direct your further tantrum to your ilk, either directly or indirectly.

theButterfly:
Hi OP,

Since she's really nice to you and helps you out financially, then warm up to her. One tip is to let her know you're introverted. I can't tell you how many times people assume I'm being snobby, I'm ignoring them or that being rude simply b|c I keep to myself, not knowing that it's just my introverted nature. I've found that communicating this aspect of my personality to people (e.g. Professors) helps avoid misunderstandings, lol.

You're neither a sociopath or psychopath. Anyone in your situation would keep to themselves, more so if you're an introvert. Your Dad should've told you he was going to move her in to prepare you for this new family dynamics, but just try and get along w| them, as this is a harmless situation and this isn't the case of a wicked stepmother.

You and your ilk should stop glossing mental parochialism with unnecessary emotions. If she (the OP) fails to extricate herself from her obvious sociopathic nature at this early stage of her life, she'll only get worse. The traits are very obvious.

Once more, I didn't generalize that all introverts are either sociopaths or psychopaths, so bury your sentimental thoughts.

Daisy17:
Stop spewing rubbish. From what institution did you get your qualification?

Direct your further mentions to your wretched father and lunatic mother because I don't join issues with a bumpkin like you.

Your introverted nature isn't the main cause of your obvious intolerance towards your stepmother in particular and her daughter (your stepsister) in general. Your sociopathic nature is. If you can strive and conquer the negative attributes that made you a sociopathic person - they negative attributes are so glaring from your message - you'll automatically begin to rapport with them, regardless of your introversion. Most introverts are either sociopathic or psychopathic people, but they hardly know or acknowledge this bitter truth.

The reason isn't far-fetched, any realist on mission always has idiosyncrasy in particular and identity in general. His usual dressing style is his identity.

cococandy:
Nobody cares

The day you will transform from being stubborn to being principled, or at least to being maverick, I'll personally canvass for national merit award for you. Until then . . . Anyway, there's hope since change remains constant, lol.

Aystarz:
And I thought you were better than this. Very disappointed that you could stoop this low.

Lol, "a people" there implies many things, but tribe isn't one of them. Anyone (or group of people) who's been at the receiving end of any form of injustice at any given time and indulges it, owns a share in it.

GrabHisBalls:
Men are assholes. The idiotic father of the kids that abandoned them will come claiming his kids later even with a lawsuit.

Where do you want us to deliver your e-slap?

This is what happens when a people continually glosses timidity with liberalism toga.

Bale is an unsung hero.

Don't marry her based on the material things you can gain from her (and vice versa). As for her loans, both accumulated and yet-to-be accumulated, the repayment plan she's in place will go a long way to determine your final decision.

A man who loves you will always accord you reverence, and one who reveres another can't cheat on her/him, so it's obvious that
your husband doesn't love you - or, he doesn't understand what love entails.

If you have been good on your part, give him a treatment deserving of a small-minded person. Goodness is a value spouses owe each other. Goodness isn't perfection - perfection is when you expect him to transform water into wine - so he has no reason not to be good towards you if truly he values the marriage.

As for his partner in crime, the woman, you've no business with her. There's no cause to join issues with her, unless you want to allow your husband to continue to mess up. He's to clear his mess by himself.

If you don't command your husband's reverence then something is wrong somewhere, it means he or you or both of you have deep-rooted problem.

....

This is the reason a strong-minded/principled woman is gold and must be revered when one has the privilege of coming across her. Only small-minded women - low self-esteem and headstrong women - can be manipulated by pastors or other people or enticed.

The one who merits the privilege to share my dominion with me - the strong-minded/principled/virtuous woman.

Realdeals:
What caused the poor mentality, if not the conditioning by leaders and religion, they imbibe wrong ethics in the people.

Only those who do not cherish their dominion (liberty) can be conditioned. Liberty is God's greatest gift to man . . . protect yours. Leaders and religion (proponents and practitioners of religion) are part of the people.

The leaders and religion aren't the cause of backwardness in Africa, they people are, the majority have poor mentality and ethics.

apple30:
Everybody is guilty,except u r not a Nigerian.

Stop using yourself as a yardstick for every Nigerian.

Low self-esteem guys - guys who gloss their low self-esteem with libertarianism toga/false libertarians - should take an unpalatable occurrence like this as a lesson. Abhorrence of self-centered or/and opinionated (rude or arrogant) women, like character of the woman in this case, doesn't mean that one isn't a libertarian (or an egalitarian) in particular and good in general. When you indulge an egotistic or egoistic woman's (person) excesses unpalatable news like this is always the end result.

He died dishonorably in the hands of an unchecked egoist. I can only say RIP to their offspring.

Truthsbitter:
andin
lol...
bros I no day fear you o.
I agree that statement of mine sounded like I was actually in support of the lady, but it's just a misunderstanding. I actually meant there's no point for the girl to rant online as it only proves that she is a trouble maker.

you come dey behave like the girl why?

Actually, no class of people can be more irritating than low self-esteem people who gloss their shortcoming with libertarianism toga - false libertarians. I'm glad you're able to retrace your step, don't be a false libertarian, lol.

Truthsbitter:
All these one na big English...
if the guy doesn't like piercings on his lady what's wrong with him leaving the relationship, abi na by force...?

The last time I checked, the guy has already booted her out, and it's the girl, through her proxy, who's complaining. So, what's that your point again?

Direct your further mentions to small-minded people like you if you've nothing meaningful to say because I don't put up with your ilk.

The guy has a healthy dose of self-esteem - he acted well provided that the piercing wasn't the normal type other women usually have on their ears. No man with a healthy dose of self-esteem will ever condone a woman who's either self-centered or arrogant (opinionated or rude) or both. When we talk about submissiveness, here's a simple example of what it's about. You've the choice to either be submissive or get booted out.

Liberty doesn't mean absence of conscientiousness, same as authority doesn't mean absence of conscientiousness - if she did normal piercing on her ears like almost every other woman usually does, then he's the one who's wrong and that means abuse of his authority and should be discarded with alacrity by her. Do anyhow and get treatment that's reserved for a small-minded person.

That'll be innocuous, provided that they've cognitive ability. Cognition breeds competence - competence over articulacy any day and anytime. I don't mean to encourage inarticulacy in any way though.

It takes one who's competent, not articulate, in his/her chosen area of trade/expertise to produce effective (real) result. This should be the right time to encourage people to stop glossing their ignorance with articulateness and focus on being competent, especially when left with an option to choose one from the two elements.

As all dese articulators and orators wey abound for our country so far never make am betta, so we no need more of dem, unless dem go acquire de two elements together.

I'll rather talk about the root cause of your shaky marriage, its foundation. The poor foundation of the marriage is what breeds the unpalatable occurrences so far. Both of you wittingly or unwittingly entered into the marriage contract with the mindset of individuals in a strategic alliance in a commercial business with the product of the union (the offspring) as the bond that'll connect you together. This is even below standard of JV partners in a commercial business, not to talk of standard of what a healthy marriage should be. Yours is a typical case of most modern marriages. Notionally I see husband and wife, but literally I see frenemies living together.

With the obvious absence of the qualities that can guarantee a healthy marriage and its benefits (mutual peace of mind, faithfulness, understanding and oneness), the vices of distrust, disingenuousness, disregard, etc, will continue to reign supreme until you and your man make a conscious decision to lay a new and sound foundation for the marriage.

Altruism will always remain the soul of any healthy marriage because it breeds the ingredients that your marriage lack, which you long for, sincerity, faithfulness/understanding/oneness - mutual peace of mind.

sisisioge:
Lawd!!!!!!!!!

Boss weds Sisisioge.

What God has joined together, let no man separate.

I'll be available to officiate it at no extra cost, just provide me with my normal 10 cows.

bukatyne:
As usual, on point.

I agree with the man even though I am sure our reasons are different.

Thanks. Truth is that with the action verb "aspire" in his statement/subject of the thread, any unassuming and unsentimental person will see sense in his postulation - even though words might have failed him somehow - either directly or indirectly. Unfortunately, we're in an era where almost everyone seems propagating both liberalness and libertarianism, yet subjugation still reign supreme in actuality - superficiality and bandwagonism are the order of the day.

Aspiration breeds competition/destruction, while inspiration breeds development/support. A wife shouldn't be caught competing with her husband (and vice versa), instead both should always strive to be a source of inspiration to each other.

One should only aspire to beat/be more successful than his/her co-workers and business opponents, not a spouse - one's partner in a JV business ought not to be seen as a competitor, how much more a spouse.

So, there's nothing wrong with a wife being more successful than her husband - so long as the success isn't a product of competition between the two. Competition is like war, all (action) is fair in a war. Don't expect kid-glove treatment or fairness in a war. Competition between a couple is an abomination.

Don't mistake aspiration for inspiration - inspire your spouse/let your spouse be a source of inspiration for you, but don't aspire to beat your spouse.

He can only be right if he means "wife don't be your husband's competitor/don't see your husband as your competitor (and vice versa)." A woman who sees her husband as a competitor, is like a man who won't like his wife to be more successful than him. There's nothing wrong in a wife being more successful than her husband. However, there's everything wrong in a wife (or husband) who sees her husband as a competitor. A sane wife (man) will inspire her husband, not to aspire to beat him. Inspiration vs aspiration.

Commercial business partners don't compete with each other (aspire to beat each other), even as self-interest is always evident in any JV arrangement, how much more a husband and wife who're of oneness/in the cause of pursuing oneness which entails altruism. A competitor is an opposition and every contest is like a war - all (action) is fair in a war. A competitor shouldn't expect fairness/kid-glove treatment from his/her opponent.

Until the word "couple" changes its form from being a singular noun to a plural noun, competition between a husband and wife remains an abomination. Inspiration is different from aspiration - a couple should always draw inspiration from one another instead of aspiring to beat one another. Development over destruction.