₦airaland Forum

Women shouldn't be denied their inalienable right to via for any elective political position. However, I don't subscribe to the idea of most women/minority tribes wishing to have power without fighting for it. Power is never given rather its fought for.

alexialin:
Such scenario happened to a colleague. Her fiance got her pregnant, until belle reach 6months, before he paid her bride price, with church wedding. On the 7th month, she had a miscarriage. She had to be operated on through CS. The baby didnt survive, her fiance now husband is so bitter.
He stopped checking up on her in the hospital until she was discharged. He called his sister to go keep his wife company and he needs to travel for buisness.

They all know he is so unhappy with all the Monies he spent making the wedding come through.

Just too bad.

Is that love?

That's ironical. His action showed that he was hypocritically disingenuous with whatever love he professed to her from the inception of their relationship. As I said earlier herein, mind games is only for small-minded people.

Mind games is for small-mined people. What if she took in and after you paid her bride price she has miscarriage? Personally, if I cannot place absolute confidence in you then, I have no reason having you as a wife.

I have no reason to marry someone I don't love. The word love is meaningless on its own without its constituents: fancy, honesty, respect, faithfulness etc. So, before I say I love you, I must have found you worthy of these attributes and as such I can stand firmly for you in all conditions, either for good or bad.

Sense of entitlement is a grave sign of greed. The boy need a proper moral lesson. However, his parents, the father in particular, must take bigger portion share of his negative action. A responsible parent/guardian/leader shouldn't be caught making a promise he cannot or is ready to fulfill. . . he shouldn't have promised the boy a summer holidays when he knew that he wasn't going to fulfill it. The family is obviously one of small-minded people.

A responsible leader is one who knows the way, goes the way and shows the way.

A man sure owes his in-laws support but not obligation. However, on this case under deliberation, it's obvious that the man's in-laws are opportunists, so he should set boundaries immediately.

pocohantas:
LOL!

I hope you had a great weekend. Meanwhile, I want to believe that you aren't among the class of people that haven't achieved self-realization. LOL.

I wish you a fruitful week.

Beosten:
I don't have sense of entitlement towards anyone. Just that in this journey of life, I have learnt never to think humans can aid one another during emergencies, and I think this is unhealthy. Do you know how much in aid some countries get from abroad? Now if someone is dying of cancer, celebrities will start raising millions of naira, but someone in need of common 1k will be tagged yahoo guys. Life is overrated. This world will never be a better place.

You have validated my postulation again. You didn't give her money to keep for you, so it smack of self-centeredness and conceit for you to notionally conclude and by extension hold malice against her, that she had the money then and refused to help you. Who told you that your own assumed problem then wasn't a want compared to her own unpronounced problem which could be a need?

You're not a free will proponent. Too bad. For all I know and care, a friend/lover owes you neither servility nor evil - vice versa - but only owes you fairness if the former and goodness if the latter. She did no evil to you, so don't guilt trip or jettison her. . . doing so will mean that you expected servility from her.

I'd rather advised that you should change your attitude, yes, from the connotation of your message, you have a self-centered (sense of entitlement) attitude. Embrace altruism for your own good and for the good of whosoever you may finally have as a friend/lover.

I wish him all the best. However, citing connotations of his said pronouncement, it's obvious to my insightful self that, he didn't understand the reason why his first marriage failed, thus, he didn't learn anything from it. In him I see a man who hasn't achieved self-realization. The statements "she's God fearing, she love me scatter, she's a chemical engineer" are just superficial, they're not concrete mutual good attributes that can form a bond that will sustain a healthy marriage.

maasoap:
Only if the woman was aware of the man's desire.

Don't forget that my submissions herein is strictly according to the story and picture present.

Any sound photographic psychologist will sure tell you that the woman's action depicts hypocritical disingenuousness. And a seasoned player in the bedroom matters will also tell you that a first round pre-intimacy had/was taken place before the woman came up with her manipulative position. She wanted to trash out a prior differences or she wanted to gain a material promise/instant gratification as far as the happenstance in this picture is concerned.

Kudos @OP.

There're two classes of men that small-minded women (manipulative women) can use. They're:

- The outright gullible men

- The opportunistic men (manipulative men like them). . . . what normally happen here is always a case of a predaceous person vs a leeching person.

@OP


I read through your previous post on this same family issue. Believe you me when I say both of you are not of the same ethical leanings, thus, you are not compatible and shouldn't have been more than se.x mates least of becoming husband and wife - yes, you are already married, so you should be talking about whether to mend fences with your wife or to divorce her, not asking whether to go on with a marriage with her or not as the thread headline reads.

Both of you have attitudinal problems, no mutual trust and respect for each other. So, I wonder why both of you agreed to marry each other in the first place.

Well, I advised that you should put a hold on the church marriage ceremony for now. You as a natural head of the family, kindly adopt a complete change of attitude. Embrace goodness and practice same towards your wife in particular and every other person you have encounter with. After you do this for about one month, if your wife is woman with some atom of virtuousness in her, she would automatically emulate your new found lifestyle without you talking her into embracing it.

However, if she's the naturally small-minded type of person, she would sure be on her old irritating attitudes, so at this juncture, politely call her to order by taking her to an outing and in the cause of the merriment mood, tell her about the change in attitudes you expect from her, using yourself as a case study. Make it clear to her at this point that she has the choice to embrace goodness to remain married to you or you separate from her if she insists on exhibiting negative attitudes - this should be a promise to be kept not a threat or warning.

After you have achieved the above feat and maintained your new found goodness attitudes, start to observe her. If she changes for good, there and then you have gotten yourself a union of two noble class people - you can then go ahead with your church marriage ceremony - however if you observed that she failed to heed to your appeal, then, my man go for separation or divorce. Marriage should be enjoyed not endured.

Amadaz:
you're right but the question is do nigerian women know about your so called unconventional law? I don't think they have an inkling about that.

Actually, it all depends on your ethical leanings and the class of women you pally with. Personally, I am of the diplomatic ethical leanings and I only pally with people (women) that shares same ethical leanings with me - I only go to places where I am celebrated, you can never find me at places where I am either not wanted or tolerated.

Only the Igbo IPOB proponents lay the shameful claim of being Jewish. As for me, I'm simply a bona fide Igbo man of Igbo origin.

MisterGrace:
Lol... How old are you?

I'm old enough to know that you belonged to the small-minded class of people. Hahaha.

Tobiloba84:
you for make sense if you had view this from a wider perspective, some ladies are just phone addict, nothing you act moves them

Well, I know that I actually made sense to the sane and sound readers.

Amadaz:
women will always have cause to misbehave towards their man at intervals regardless of how their man tries to maintain his dignity and respect.

There's an unpronounced conventional law that states a responsible woman shouldn't use a moment for sex/meal to trash out her differences with her husband or extract a promise from her husband - doing so amount to either prostitution or wickedness.

The picture as any sound mind can see depicts that of a hypocritically disingenuous woman. . . Mind games is only for small-minded people.

Office politics is notionally avoidable but literally unavoidable. Therefore, to be on a safer side, one of noble class should always endeavour to act and relate with others on principle rather than expediency. With this tactic you won't belong to any group within the office but sure support at anytime, a motion of a person or group that is pure.

When the above philosophy is adopted, at the inception, you may be hated by very many of your colleagues and even some uninformed executive personnel, but in the long run you'll sure become a jewel of the office in particular and organization in general without labouring for it.

If only you have enjoyed the privilege of being elected/selected unopposed/by unsolicited recommendations to a coveted position you didn't aspire to occupy, which others were killing themselves to have, all because your professional and ethical conducts earned you such. When you experience such you'll come to appreciate the importance of creating your own lifestyle on principle and encrypting it.

Such a man should rather asked himself how, when and where he lost his respect before his wife. I mean, only a man who's not in charge - I didn't say in control - of his house/relationship will experience such an insult from his woman. If after the self-questions and he didn't find faults on himself, she deserves whatever light misfortune that may befall on her afterwards.

Time for sex/meal shouldn't be used in trashing out differences or extracting promises - only small-minded people do such. Her action in this picture depicts hypocritical disingenuousness.

TheHistorian:
PDP!

The Party that offer solace to criminals.It's appalling that an Individual with criminal accusation of shortchanging this Country has been cleared for an election by this devilish party.

Vote PDP again and plunge your nation to everlasting misery.

Enough said!

Although I don't hold brief for the PDP, however, every sensible and unbiased person knows that an accused remain innocent until proven guilty by a court of competent jurisdiction.

I don't envy your small-mindedness. Kindly don't bother to pick on me because I don't join issue with a small-minded person like you and your ilks.

@OP

Come on! This is a 2015 news - I mean, the execution took place since 2015.

I wonder why majority of the commenters are biased. At liberty, the lady doesn't owe him marriage, and shouldn't be neither coerced to marry him nor be crucified for objecting to marry him now that she has achieved self-realization - unless if truly her only reason of rejecting her marriage proposal is because of his academic, nay, social status rather than a thing like ethical disparities.

From the connotations of the message, the unpronounced bond that hold them together is "goodness" and such is eternally expected of her towards him. I can only pronounce her evil if she denies him goodness at any point in life or as I said above, if she rejected his marriage proposal because of his current social status, which is a superficial thing that shouldn't count. But she owed him no servility. . . Coercing her to accept his marriage proposal while it isn't ethically convenient for her amount to coercion and that's evil on the part of anyone that castigate's her.

His cry of betrayal at this juncture shows that he was hypocritically disingenuous in his goodwills towards her all the while. Thus he has himself to blame.

My philosophies are simple:

- If one cannot give altruistically then don't give at all until a binding agreement is reached and formalize.

- Don't tolerate what you can't condone in the long run. Act how you wishes to be treated and in the event that your actions aren't reciprocated or justified after a while, separate - a feeling of betrayal is better than a feeling of been used/outsmarted.

Personally, I've never had a cause to feel dumped/used in a romantic relationship - even though I've been around for a very long time - because I live on my stated philosophies.

@OP

Personally, nothing can be more irritatingly appalling than a parochial thought process like yours. I mean, it smack of myopia on your part to use yours - the small-minded women in your family and clique - as a yardstick in quantifying and qualifying other women in Nigeria in particular and Africa at large.

There're a whole lot of sound educated Nigerian women in particular and African women at large, that're ambitious, industrious and productive both at home front and professional spheres.

Small-mindedness is a disease.

"Apostle bishop Dr" miracle Williams. Lol. Superficiality and religious proponents are like 5 and 6.

Smart people don't stop because others says or does so, they do because they wants to. Conscientiousness remains one of the best attributes one can ever possess.

Fairness. And fairness also remain the best gift a girlfriend can give me. But when it comes to a virtuous wife, it would be goodness from me all through the rest of our lives.

That's the beauty of democracy not this tribe-cracy currently in practice in my beloved country. Congratulations to the winner-mother.

However, what's false is the lecturer's myopic assertion in the last paragraph. For all I care and know one can conscientiously be a rival to his/her parents/leaders/elders in any contest and emerges victorious.

The most insightful in any contest/act - under normal circumstances - would always emerges victorious ahead of less insightful one's.

If both of you separated based on mutual principle - incompatibility - then, try by all means possible to help her. Just assumed that it's a life or death situation of someone that's so dear to you and do for her what you'd do in such a situation, on principle, without minding whether any third party is hurt or not - of course after letting such a third party to see reason with you on why you have no choice that to allow your ex to pass a night at your place.

Two opportunists in a relationship. Both of you're of the same ethical leanings - the worst ethical leanings for that matter - so, I don't see the relationship becoming a healthy one, not now and not in the future. Quit. Meanwhile, after you quit, kindly embrace a change of attitude.

People should stop this amusing but irritating act of mixing up the word foolishness with love. The man was outright foolish. Goodness sustains love whereas servility sustains slavery disguised as love.

As for the lady, she shouldn't arrogate cleverness to herself because she was far from being one. She only met someone more foolish than she was.

pocohantas:
LOL...
I don't think I have gotten to that level where I can head such a movement, but I appreciate the offer. We should be fair in our dealings with every other human.

I don't trust you no more, you kept me waiting the other day. So, I refuse to get my hopes up. Have a lovely day too

Come on! Don't tell me that a position of any kind would be too high for you to occupy - not when preparation is in top gear to have you as a replacement for PMB. Lol. On a more serious note, that Egalitarian Movement chairwomanships I declared on you was a banter. What's true though is that majority of your contributory posts on this forum point to the fact that you're a strong proponent of egalitarianism. And personally, I am a proponent and practitioner of a more feasible option "Fairness and Egalitarianism." Meanwhile, very soon you will have me in your house, just believe me this time.

pocohantas:
Nigerians and their self acclaimed intelligence.
What is the correlation between watching GOT and intelligence?

So...Nigerians are that intelligent and our country is like this.
The kinda things y'all use to feel superior in this country amazes me

Good morning. I hope you'd a splendid night. It's my pleasure to declare you chairlady Egalitarian Movement - Nairaland wing. And believe you me, once the movement is renamed Fairness and Egalitarian Movement you automatically have me as its patron. Hahaha.

Meanwhile, I'm in the process of crawling back to your house gate after my detour some two days ago. Do have a lovely day.