₦airaland Forum

And you posted it on SM cuz of what?

manychallenges:
Huh, just wow. Thank You luminous. I used to preached in church but when the embarrassment was getting too much, I actually stopped going to church and my condition worsen.

Would take another step concerning this issue. Thanks brother

You are welcome. Keep practicing. And try to enjoy what you talk on. That passion will override the fear.

MickzyDonald:
The case is surging with power, come and see how people are dying in LUTH

Be serious na

manychallenges:
Kudos to all bosses and everyone here. You guys are doing excellently remarkable job here and I've learned a lot, I didn't start from page one though, I started where I found this thread.

Since this thread is mainly about one's development, I would like the bosses and anyone here that has solution to what I've been facing all my life.

Am 27. And do you know that at this age I can't face crowd, don't let us talk of crowd, I can't confidently stand in front of just five people and express myself. Yeah, its as bad as that. Whenever I found myself in such position, I will just start sweating, shaking and loosing balance to the extent people around would notice am scared.

Sometimes, believe me, I do cry that am facing this thing, I've lost numerous opportunities because of this.

At this age am still in University and I always avoid anything presentation just to avoid embarrassment. Am just trying hard to hide this flaw of mine because you know people would definitely use one's weakness against one.

Anyone with solution here. Don't wanna use drugs and all that. And it seems to me is hereditary because I see some traits of it in my father as well

Thank You.

All others here might recommend books to read for you but I won't.

The best way to deal with stage fright is to go to the stage and talk. There are no two ways about it. I had some measure of stage fright and here was what helped me. Being an introvert, to talk seems hard but I knew I had to present or defend myself or I'd be a dead man. I used the mirror technique to gain some measure of speech control(for presentations and seminars) and FUQ-IT technique for the real life issues.
The mirror technique allows you to Pace yourself with the time allotted while still addressing the topic. The more you practice, the better you'd be. After gaining some confidence with that, then call in your AUDIENCE, either friends or family. Let them sit in a room and watch you. There is no truer test than that. Tell them to criticize you and correct you. With time, you'd get used to talking in front of people. Then, if you wanna progress further using this technique, tell those guys to be merciless with you. Let them abuse you, call you names, tell at you and threaten you. Why? Because stage fright is our subconscious protecting us from what people will say to us and our weakness of maintaining eye contact. So burst that mudafucker right now by letting people say shiit to you. That way,you build up your resistance and focus your energies on delivering your points. This may seem cruel but it worked for me, till I started laughing at the audience insults, and even threw some of my own back.

The FUQ-IT technique is shorter route to mastery of stage fright but a hardier one, for emotionally soft people. What I did was very simple. I went to gatherings(churches,mosques,parks) and addressed groups of people. Topics of interest differ from preaching to fashion to trying to sell some shiit. The first day was hell. I sweated so much I reeked of it. A few people were amused, the others were like WTF is wrong with this mudafucker. But I didn't care, because it was a FUQ-IT challenge. I wasn't interested in what they thought or wanted but focused on delivering my own shiit. That same week, I learned that I could be a very big comedian if I wanted to, because from the 3rd day onward, I started dropping some wisecrack replies and quotes that made people laugh,while l looked deadpanned. I discovered people actually appreciate when I talk, especially when I don't think too much about what to say or worry about how people would receive my speeches. Once I was myself, I was flowing like a mudafucking poet. It got easier from there. Don't think too much about the people or what you are going to say, just start and try to immerse yourself in the topic. Find examples people can relate to and attach it to everyday naija lives. Watch the crowd but don't base your flow on their emotions. If they scowl, don't mind. If they laugh, take that as a good sign and continue. With this technique, you know the worst but still go ahead anywhere because what's there to lose again?
That road is hard bro,let me tell you but I realised once you are yourself, the FUQ-IT technique works.

N.B: I don't subscribe to drinking before facing people. It's a Dutch courage you get from such things and you won't ever develop good presentation skills. Once in a while, stage fright may still come back, especially when suddenly called upon to talk BUT THE KEY IS NEVER TO THINK TOO MUCH ABOUT IT. THINKING ON IT ELEVATES YOUR HEARTBEAT AND CAUSE YOUR TONGUE TO SEIZE UP MOST TIMES. JUST OPEN YA MOUTH AND DO YOUR BEST.

ObinnaValentine:
this shit here is fucking real..nothing sweet pass being real..u jes flow with the tide but be matured in your display ie exhume confidence..yesterday's encounter with this chick was so quick even the nigga with me yesterday jes dey wonder..wetin bring us come dia no consign me o but I collect talk from him mouth before him go use him compass scatter everything..

Lol...

Emmynator:
Lol, that thing dey weak me ehn.
I was talking to a girl the other day, she was staring directly into my eyes, but my eyes was just wandering, then I started stuttering.
It's obviously something I need to work on, cause it might be a weakness that may be used against me.

Now that's how many girls do these days. They stare at you and measure up your confidence. Some look disgusted, sneer at you, roll their eyes or just plain give you the evil look. If you can't hold eye contact or stutter, they will know. Hell,they even know when you are sweating inside. They are that good at sniffing out weakness.

But here is the kicker: They are also JUST like you. They are not the boldest or baddest mudafuckers on the planet. Some of them are more timid than you are but are able to hide their emotions under a veil. Some even adore you physically but their innate nature of pretense would make them behave otherwise. So when you hold their eyes and talk to them, especially not using the tired-ass 1133AD pickup lines, you see their eyes would either shift from you and look less confident or assured. They will laugh more,relax visibly and once a woman does that, the first hurdle is broken.

Lemme share this with you.

I seem to have an attraction for hardlooking women. I meant women with stern looking expressions that other men run from. It doesn't matter to me if they carry granite for face, so long I wanna talk to them, I go ahead and do that

While in the uni, there was this huge babe in my school. Tall and big assed, she is from a rich home and so has it all but when it comes to men, she no dey give them face. Once she sees you coming, she plants a sneer on her face and looks at you like you are an insect or something. Then,when you approach her, she stares at you, eyes moving from head to toe,like inspecting a Xmas goat at King's market. Then,while you are still talking or stuttering, she walks away,leaving your last words hanging in the air. Most times, you end up looking at her back as she leaves,because she is very beautiful. When she is in a mood, she just walks past you like you didn't exist. She was in 100level while I was in my finals.

How I won her? I didn't give a fuq. That was how. I have seen her around and while I noticed the beauty, I wasn't motivated to talk to her. I was dealing with project issues so my morale was on that. One day while I finished with my supervisor and was going home, this geh popped up around and was walking away from a dude who was trying desperately to hold her attention. I had nothing on her...not her name, her level or even course... Yet as the guy turned away in frustration, I walked up to her and just laughed and said ' don't look so sad babe, at least this one is a bit tall and a bit fine, compared to that grandpa that approached you last week'. I didn't see her with any granpa but that was my opening line to test the waters.

Her eyes raked me from head to toe, eyes blazing. I kept my smile, an amused expression on my face. This went on for 7 secs(my heartbeat counted it). Then she looked away and muttered 'no granpa toasted me last week'. I laughed and said, 'at the rate you turn these young niggas down, well, who else will be left, darlinggggggg!!!. I said these while arching my eyebrow and winking, with a mischievous smile. She stared at me for a while, then slowly the corners of her mouth lifted up in a shy smile. That was all. 5 minutes after, she was following me up and down in school, under the hot sun, while other niggas went all colours of the rainbow with envy. She ended up being my gf, till she travelled out of the country.

Know what she told me? She said what made her give me a second look was my eye contact, smile and this devil-may-care attitude I had, like I had nothing to lose while other dudes are quick to behave like she is one rare,exotic animal in the zoo,by stammering, smile fake and giving annoying promises,like she was a dependent or something. She said my confidence that day made her wet( I was also very fit,being a regular gym attendant and I just cut my hair ).

N.B: it doesn't matter who the girls are, they are also human,not some alien species. Just go out and practice on them. Practice makes perfect.

BareFacedLies:
We already know you're lying

Are his lies that BAREDFACED?

HRHQueenPhil:
I love the freedom of my fingers actually

Lol,lucky you then

Saviolamemphix:
Same here bro am an introvert, and i hardly maintain eye contact. It's just not my thing

You too should use the mirror approach. Making eye contact is not alien to introverts. There are many introverts that are not shy with making eye contact, I'm one of them. I talk when I want and keep mum when it's necessary. But you need to master the art of using your eyes to speak your mind.

There is something irresistibly attractive about a man with a steady calm gaze. It shows confidence and charisma and nothing breaks barriers faster than adding a smile(shy or bold) to that gaze. Women won't say this but they fuqin adore such men. Even in business or generally, other men have this tendency to trust you or hear you out when you can look them in the eye with a steady calm gaze. Such men are bank CEOs and politicians. They make you wanna trust them with your life savings because they look calm and seemed sure. Personally, I gauge people on what I see in their eyes. The eyes are truly the windows to the soul and I see your personality reflected when you look at me. A man who can't look me in the eye gives me concern,more so,when the dude's eyes keep shifting from left to right,up and down... everywhere but my mudafucking face. To me, such people are shady and shifty...like a cornered rat or a ferret. I don't tend to trust them.



So please, do learn to maintain some form of eye contact. Just look at them for some seconds,hold their gaze, then look away and back at them while letting your wordplay do the work. I have even learned the art of arching my eyebrows to punctuate my words while looking at the target. So she/he would be looking at my facial gestures/expressions while listening to my words. I make better impression that way.

Abeg!!! When I say make eye contact, i'm not talking about the creepy, werey, starry eyed gaze of a fuqin stalker or some weirdo on a mudafucking doomed mission. Don't stare at the person fixedly like a predator or start smiling one mumu fake smile biko. That shit would scare dafuq outta people. Just take ya time with it, practice makes perfect.

Morning yall

HRHQueenPhil:
I love the ring but hate the nails

He didn't give you the ring

Emeka71:
Do you mean you release that much?

It's a joke hommie. Surely one litre of sperm being released would kill any man

SilverNorGold:
Lol... Suu Kyi, the hypocrite... All these activists eh, involve them for governance small, you go see their real colors... You supported the draconian and brutal military to wage war against the Rohingya Muslims... Instead of speaking out, you either denied or supported their evil atrocities! You evil bastards! You persecuted thousands of innocent Muslims, forcing them out of northwestern Myanmar in your vicious 2016 and 2017 genocidal campaign of ethnic cleansing!

Goodluck Jonathan should allow them carry their cross and deal with their shit... The wrath of God Almighty is upon them...

May God help us all.

I like your last line, especially after abusing the hell out of everyone.

baralatie:
blood vessels in his brain burst

Nawa o... just from cumming?


Maybe he had other health issues

sajmark:
true that bro, but as a redpiller we know better than to take a woman's word seriously... a woman will by default tell you only a fraction of the times she's had sex, but if you ask around...

You get it bro

Warrgidanairala:
ugly boy forming online fineboy and you even short sef

K

sajmark:
This applies mostly to simps and beta males sha, I'll always stick to ubunja's advice on marrying a way younger lady (she might not be a virgin but at least she'll have low body count).

What made you think a younger lady has a lower body count, especially in Nigeria?

Some of them have swallowed more than you can imagine

Warrgidanairala:
Olumide you that's very ugly is here on Nairaland claiming fine boy? hian

K

OmoAkin85:
may be he had some heath problem before d incident

You are absolutely right bro

Viicfuntop:
I never pictured you to have a mentality like this. I do not want to say pervert but it’s what it is

Lol...read my subsequent post sis.

Damn right@ cavey adullami!!!

Which useless excessive orgasm?

The ones I had that made cum 1 litre, no burst my brain cells na.


I don't believe it jare

Fvckyouall:
Someone has to be in active service, Every yr 18s flood the market

Bad nigga

TheVictim01:
Smh!

This is mudafucking baaaaaad!!!!

MJBOLT:

Damn!!!

I gained a few cells agreeing to your post.

And why is she on SM with the story?


Should we beat her sister for her or what?


People post so much private shiit on SM and they don't know how dangerous it is

Hustle2flex:
Breaking up with your girlfriend hasn't solve the main problem which is the fact that you are yet to get your emotions under control.
You have to work on yourself as a man so that you will be ready to handle your next relationship better.
Inasmuch as we are all learning TRP,you don't go about breaking up with ladies when we haven't sorted out ur emotional insecurities.
The only time your advice will hold weight is when the lady in question comes with a lot of baggage which you have finally discovered to be exerting a lot of strain on you by being in the relationship.
We men have to be responsible too and not think it's only the woman's fault.thats the point am trying to make.

You made a solid point bro.

Degrezhaa:
U sef dey here ?

Gemineye:
How fast does your RN9 charge, like how many % per min?

Don't know bro

jaygee1:
12.0.5 on Note 9s?

Just note 9

Gemineye:
is 12.0.6 the latest for RN9??

Yes