₦airaland Forum

lefulefu:
that explains why he prefers single moms nau .u know those white ladies who are single moms dem no dey tolerate any rubbish from baby daddy if they are in another relationship .any connection with the baby daddy is strictly about the child and if baby daddy tries to intrude in her relationship she calls it stalking and calls the police .

You're right

Mtchewwww....

Aproko Oshi...

lefulefu:
some guys do date and get married to single moms but me i cant deal oo.u marry single mom then u will have to contend with the baby daddy.na everyday the baby daddy go dey carry fight come ur house cos most baby daddies get jealous when the mother of their child moves on and get married.na hell for the guy who is dating d single mother.i am relating to how it is in naija.MrBrownJay1 you might not understand since u based in europe and europe dating scene is quite different from naija.It has nothing to do with culture but the wahala u will get from the baby daddy..except maybe if he"s late sha.

Lol...I get your point

So he is based in Europe? Not bad!!!

Most nigerians never cease to amaze me...

The name of God is always on their lips but check their hearts and you will see galactic evil on multiple thrones and no trace of anything godly.

With such disparity and dichotomy, its no wonder most exhibit borderline schizophrenic tendencies.

MrBrownJay1:
its called having a discussion on a subject. they gave their opinion and i gave them mine, what insult are you talking about...?! misplaced ego OR stinking, lol!

All your bolded in red looked like personal beef o..lol

Tallesty1:
Linda couldn't marry when she doesn't have a child e come be now that she is a single mom. Genevieve is a single mom and she is single with all her wealth and achievements, Tiwa too and the best she could get with all her money is fvcking a boy.


Guy, you're just trying to blackmail other guys without making sense.

Apart from the fact that most single mothers(who aren't unfortunate widows) are promiscuous, there are a million and one other reasons to stay away from them.


But before I go down to one or maybe two of these reason, I will like to point out something to some of you. You especially.


Single mothers should stop this always failing attempt to blackmail men to marry them.
For every single mother out there, there's at least 20 ladies that have not had a child who are still single.

If your being single is a result of having a child then explain these other ladies who are also single even though they have never had a child? You go online to claim that being a single parent is bliss and the only way and then come offline to wail that you can't find a husband? Who takes such an unstable person serious.

You make it seem like they're single because they're single mothers but truth is they're single because they have issues just like other single ladies out there. Women generally have issues, matter of fact, anything that has tire, engine or boobs have issues but boobs that have fed a child have complicated issues.


Now down to the reasons.

Which you have not experienced.


Women have undying love for things that give them pain.

High heels give them pain but they wear it anyways. Skimpy dresses makes them uncomfortable, but they can't do without it. You see them cling to shitholes that treat them like trash and then make you their best friend so you can console them when they are treated like thrash. It's illogical to us but they seem to understand it.

A lot of the guys that put these ladies in the family way are assholes so your woman, because of this their inexplicable love for things that give them pain will once in a while go back to this guy.

Women who suffered terribly in the hands of an ex lover see their child as a consolation price. For this reason, this child will come first before the one she will have for you.

I know you don't understand this because you've not experienced anything like that.



Picture this family.


A single father married a single mother.

By your logic, they're birds of the same feather and similar experience so they are going make a one happy family.

But that's not the case.

The union produced a kid but these kid was starved of her parents love. The father gives 70% of his love to the other child and the mother gives 90% of her love to the other child. The child they have together manage whatever is left.


Single mothers of today cling on the child without any reasonable source of income, so the moment you marry them, the child becomes your responsibility.

So before you jump on marrying a single lady just to prove a useless point, answer this question.


How will you feel seeing your wife give most of her love and attention to a kid she had for another man and you helped her to raise while your own kids get just whatever is left of her love? If you are okay with it then please by all means, marry a single mother and leave us to our choice.

I can't do it and neither you nor any single mom can blackmail me to do it.

And finally, blaming everything that happens in Africa on religion is becoming very lame.


Please note that all single mothers are not the same. There are many many good single mothers who are just unfortunate with men but finding a wife is difficult and I am not going to make it more difficult by including single mothers.

You nailed it. I was even enjoying his points till he introduced blackmail and insults and I wonder why he is taking it so personal.

MrBrownJay1:
are you claiming that a woman without child is automatically "better" than a single mother?! if you judge ALL single mothers as bad and ALL single women as good, then you sir has seriously lost the plot. the problem is therefore NOT these women but instead your misplaced ego....
your misplaced ego is stinking!



so you actually believe a virgin will always be better than a single mother?! again, it shows that the reason you hate these women is because they have been with other men before you, AND NOT because they are actually bad women.
your misplaced ego is stinking!



whoever is the single mother that must have hurt you (to think in such a foul way about them) because no man in his right mind would be narrow minded when thinking of these women. pele o!
your hate for them is stinking!

I don't seem to understand your criticism laced with insults bro.
They gave their personal opinions, why not respect that instead of calling them names. It almost seems as if you want every man here to automatically love single moms.

That bros sitting down with folded arms, be like 'e no concern me,peppersoup please'

Slawormir:
Damnnnnn

What?

KingAzubuike:
She's far better than her naija counterpart.

You won't make heaven!!

otipoju:
As I am, I fear Nigerians. The name of God is always on their lips but evil is constantly in their hearts.

As a real niggaar ..you fuqin nailed it!


Cc.. Slawormir

A real nigaaaarrrr

Slawormir...get in here niggarrr!!

0KNM:
Why get married only to divorce when you can end the relationship now and save yourself the headache and money/time?

That mission is impossible, ABORT it!

You believe the OP?

Well,I don't!!!

AgbenuAnna:
No vex I will call you next time

Good geh

Logobenz...
I see you bro!!!
You have been redhot some pages back...

Ornicus, I see you too

AgbenuAnna:
Eat Yam snd garden egg sauce to calm the tension on this thread �

You didn't call me abi?

My kinda slay queen...

Women like her and my mum give me hope for the coming generation. Women with self-confidence, integrity and intelligence, who not only support their families but also make their mark in the world.

May your type never die out on earth!

pocohantas:
Being smart isn't all about typing big English on Nairaland.

-As at 2016, only 2% of Nigerians owned over 90% of bank's deposits (NDIC report). That is enough to tell any sensible human the gap between the rich and the poor. It is also enough to tell the chance of being a MB in Nigeria.

The NBS website is open to all. You can go there and check recent statistics on your country, Nigeria.

Check unemployment rate, check poverty rate, check dependency ratio, check age-distribution ratio, check life expentancy.

After that you proceed to NDIC and CBN for their various journals and publications.

When you do all that, you won't come online to talk of 1 Mike Bamiloye in a country where over half of the population live below the poverty index. Yet when someone says a million others are unfortunate, you say it is unverified info.

In case you are tempted to give that your ever predictable "okay"- skip it. Regards

K.

Sterope:
Potential head of the house and you are so shortsighted

I don't need to fact check my first statement. Your delusion will not let you see road. It is sad you cannot also read and understand, did I ask him to become a teacher or a carpenter?

Why don't you check out if this married women were airing their opinions or answering deluded humanoid with penis for brain matter?

There you go again, set off and boiling. Mariangeles,safarigirl and awkaetiti are the other girls I engaged on the topic, I never abused them nor did they abuse me. They made points,i countered and everyone learnt at the end.You could actually pass your messages across without sounding so ticked off. Must you be so vulgar?

Mariangeles:
Okay. I see your point.
I'm just going by the information the woman gave

Ok, I get you.

Sterope:
For every Mike Bamiloye, there is a million Mike Bamiloye that are still fools at 40.

How does what 'could be' preclude this man from resolving his NOW? Could be is a gamble. Till then, he has RESPONSIBILITIES.

He can work as a teacher and carpenter and still be very much involved in politics.

Your first statement is unverified,so I will put it under 'potentiality'

Your second statement? I agree the man should do more, be more driven,at least for his kids sakes. He is a man after all.

Your third paragraph is funny. You suggested such without knowing his skill sets?

I get all your points but its funny that the single ladies here are on fire about this issue. Check out the married women and their responses. Most times, they are more patient.

safarigirl:
If he was useful to his wife, she would not be wailing to strangers on social media

Common net he cannot fix, how? We were burgled in January this year, we waited till the police had seen the net the burgler tore to gain access to our house and immediately after, my father handed my brother thread and needle, and the net was sewn back together.

A torn net should not be a source of anyone's worry, something thirty naira thread and needle will fix if someone was being innovative.

Both the OP and her husband have no business getting married and building a family if they cannot sort out small domestic issues like torn net and overgrown bushes, what will happen if their fence falls one day?

Let me remain single, if this is what some people are seeing in husband house. The kind of father I have has set a standard for me, as far as men go, and if I have to reduce it, let it be reasonable.

I understand you now.
You judged him by your standards. I have no issues with that.
Some men never learned domestic duties but do you think that makes them entirely useless, even if they are broke?

Mai dear, people marry every Saturday o. I tell most of the men are hustlers too.
Your dad is your hero. He really made an impression. Nice one

safarigirl:
So, you conveniently skipped where I mentioned that the woman should pull her socks up, or you saw an attack on your person, and decided to rush and quote me.

You better learn how to fix things in your home or make money to get people who can fix them rather than make excuses for your shortcomings, maybe you were inside house with Mike Bamiloye and his wife to know that he was exactly like OP's husband. You would know if he was handy around the house too, abi? If you cannot bring money, at least have sufficient knowledge to sew a spoilt net or clear bush that secondary school students clear weekly.

Nonsense and laziness.

Lmaoooo, nice one.

I'm not married or lazy.

You wrote the man off as bring useless. I tried to correct that.

Mariangeles:
How else can you explain it ? Pray tell...

Shit changes, babe...That man you ridiculed could become the next governor. Women aren't built to take all responsibilities in marriage but if you see a husband hustling his best,enciurage him,not pile up pressure till he lashes out and the marriage collapses. Most times what a man needs is a loyal wife and prayers. His sustained success is in her hands.

Single ladies have no clue about marriage at all. Its not a bed of roses,24/7. Its commitment, 24/7.

AwkaetitiBabe:
What exactly gave u the idea he ever had funds sef? Perhaps she married him believing things will change. You know how some men can package themselves only for you to get close and realize shishi no dey... Buhaaaahhhhaaaaahhaaa

Marry first babe...then you can advise on issues like this. Everyone can dish out solomonic wisdom but they never went through what Solomon did.

safarigirl:
You people should stop marrying useless men that can neither provide money nor help with repairs.

My father is in his sixties and there is nothing he cannot fix in the house. What kind of new generation men do we have?

The net that tore, can't it be sewn if you people can't afford new net? Can't the bush be cleared? He doesn't even have a proper job and common handwork he cannot do.

Even you sef, how can you be jobless and go and marry a jobless person? Did you get pregnant and have to marry him?

Everybody wants to rush into marriage without the requisite means of sustaining a family....and yes, ventilation is a necessity, so, thw window ought to be open, or else you risk meningitis. If you married a lazy slob, you sef help yourself and fix the net.

In all this, it is the unfortunate kids you both brought into your managing life that I pity. Put your house in order, Nairaland cannot help you all the time

So because your dad is handy round the house as a fixer made OP's husband useless? Or because he is broke?

You don't get it,do you?
You women are always in the NOW,never what could be,always no capacity to visualise any future potential. Mike Bamiloye was worse off than OP's guy, yet she stuck with him, now,who doesn't know Mount Zion Ministries.

Well, I didn't see you use ur husband as an example, so I guess you're single. Marry first and wait 3 years....then you will understand better

Sterope:
Awolowo was not an idiot.

You again?

airminem:
Inspire him. Stay close to him. Keep making him feel like the good old days you both started in high spirit. I bet he will always want to make you happy and make the family proud. DO NOT TALK HIM DOWN. DO NOT TALK HIM DOWN WOMAN!

I wish I see more women like you here...you are wise.

Politics is a long term game but once you hit,it will look like ritual money opulence. Who else will the dude spend it on if not his patient wife and kids?

I've seen this in at least 10 cases.