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Jobs/Vacancies / Re: Anybody With Virtual Examination Test Experience From Www.testmi.com by maputohq: 12:53pm On Nov 14, 2020
Still haven't done mine. 403 error
Jobs/Vacancies / Re: Anybody With Virtual Examination Test Experience From Www.testmi.com by maputohq: 12:36pm On Nov 14, 2020
Link not working[quote author=adebowalew post=96030882][/quote]
Jobs/Vacancies / Re: Anybody With Virtual Examination Test Experience From Www.testmi.com by maputohq: 12:29pm On Nov 14, 2020
Please add me 08132546664
Jobs/Vacancies / Re: Anybody With Virtual Examination Test Experience From Www.testmi.com by maputohq: 11:11am On Nov 14, 2020
Please d WhatsApp link
Literature / Re: The Tale Of "Jackass": A short story. by maputohq: 4:05pm On Mar 22, 2020
Darkness soon began to give way for light, the street was slowly coming to life and night creatures had returned to their enclaves to rest in preparation for another night.

Jackson kept his face straight as he walked through the dirty road. He had set his mind on his mission for that day that he was oblivious of happenings in the street- or he pretended to be. He heard a familiar voice call

“Jackass” from behind him but he pretended not to have heard it. He heard the call again, this time louder.

Jackson was disappointed with his decision to take the hood along, or perhaps he was angry with the hood. That the hood couldn’t conceal his identity just few minutes into the adventure got him angry at himself and the hood as though, it was it’s fault. He finally yielded to the voice after a little hesitation. He watched in amazement as Wisdom got closer, wearing that ever smiling face which he, of course, admires, but that admiration wasn’t feasible in that moment. The spirit that had always made Wisdom smile even in their messed up existence was beginning to irritate him. He no longer saw it as that benign spirit but a malignant one which has to be exorcised. He hadn’t smile for over three days, neither was he sure if Donald, Abdulsalam and the rest of the guys had.

The guys. Yes. They had no real name but it could be implied among them that they were “JONJO TONY” –wherever Chucks coined that name from. They never really called themselves that but all their internet trolling has been perpetuated through that pseudonym. They had a Whatsapp group which took the name, the group being dedicated to Bullying non member. JONJO TONY was a kind of unofficial group; small in size but ferments real trouble. Chucks referred to it as that tiny faeces which destroys the Anus. One would be forced to ponder on how they, Jonjo Tony got involved with the Choppers Confraternity: none of them belonged to any of these street gangs; they were all ignorant of their mode of operations and; they were all just ordinary students who were still living beneath their parents’ roof, except for Jackson of course.

“Hey Jackass Niggi,’ Wisdom greeted in one of his weird manners; smiling, winking and raising his brows intermittently.

“Mad man,” Jackson replied.

“Isn’t this Donald’s Binoculars?” Wisdom questioned

Is you for real? Jackson asked within himself. “Yeah” He answered curtly.

“Fucking bastard! You should have seen how the nigga turned his room inside out just because he was searching for this thing,”

“I need them for my expedition,” Jackson answered. He noticed the puzzled expression the reply left on Wisdom’s face. “I was well aware Donald would never part with this so I had to take it without him being aware.”

“First, that is stealing: secondly, just call him to tell him you’ve got his binoculars…”

“And thirdly…” Jackson interjected

“Nigga chill. Wisdom said with his usual smile.

Jackson most times couldn’t tell if he was serious or joking. Not that it mattes to him; he doesn’t take wisdom serious. They were all in a mess but this is the ever cheerful wisdom; They all have often concluded that wisdom has no problem whatsoever.

“What expedition are you even referring to? Are you now a wonderer or an explorer? Where exactly are you headed now?” Wisdom asked, this time with a little seriousness Jackson could swear he had never for once seen on the face just by his left side.

“To the bakery.” Jackson replied.

“To get bread?”

“Yea…” Jackson answered watching for any reaction from wisdom. “And to also get a car.”

“Car? What car? Wisdom queried, his face also asking the questions. "Are cars now sold in bakeries?"

“It’s Oseni's. His father is out of town for the moment.”

“I’m really confused here but let’s go.”

Jackson suppressed the urge to smile at wisdom's statement. He must be thinking it was one of his party moments where booze and ladies are in the excess. This is something different; this is war. He had placed his hand on the plough, farming had begun, no going back. They continued the rest of their walk to the bakery in silence which got broken momentarily by the gum wisdom was chewing.

Jackson could still recalled how they all had advised Chuks to stay as far away as possible from Udo, and he believes they were all being insensitive as non of had “love" blinding them. Being together with Patricia lately exposed him to an intimate realisation. Chuks may be stupid afterall but since it’s for love, Jackson considered it fair enough.

Jackass. Jackson Asuni. What was running through his parent’s head when they decided to name him Jackson? Some names shouldn’t be given to a child irrespective of the circumstances surrounding his birth as is believed in lots of African society. Some name, no matter how beautiful they may sound or whatever great idea they tend to convey, they just turn out stupid when a surname is involved. To his friends, instead of Jackson Asuni, they rather he is called the portmanteau – Jackass. With his initial protest on the adoption of such soubriquet falling on deaf ears, he decided it’s better he was seen to be cool with the name rather than being ridiculed with it, and then the name stuck.

Jackson wasn’t alone when it comes to having a ridiculous nickname among the friend who make up the Jonjo Tony group, at least technically. The other individual with a funny nickname was Dickson who was often referred to as ‘Fresh Dick' , a deliberate reference to the male genital. On good day, he was called D-man but good day do no come often. Fresh Dick would be feeling lucky – why wouldn’t he? He has being like the one with the lucky charm amongst them all and as it appears, he had managed to evade the hostility between the Choppers and Jonjo Tony group. He had left the country for an undisclosed business to Puerto Rico.

With the absence of Dickson, they never felt more handicapped. It was like an extra handicap to their preexisting handicap for while the Choppers was a cult group, Jonjo Tony was just a troll group formed to annoy an individual or group who had hurt the ego of any of the members. How they found themselves mired in stinking excreta with a fraternity like the choppers had a lot to do with Chuks and his love, Udo.

The bakery was just 50 metres away with a red Kia Soul parked on its front, giving a contrasting atmosphere. The bakery looked so old with most of its paint coating peeling off and the metals around looking rusty. In fact, the only thing to be considered ‘fine' was the car parked at the bakery.

“The Vehicle you are looking at over the is Oseni's car, the one I intend taking,” Jackson --if consideration was not given to Wisdom's noisy chewing gum-- became the first to utter any kind of word after their long silence walking the street.

“So how do you intend taking it without his permission?” Wisdom asked, seemingly lost than he was moments ago when Chuks mentioned bread and car and bakery. He could link bread and bakery but couldn’t link car and bread.

“I will not have to take it without his permission.” Jackson answered in disgust. “I’m claustrophobic. A prison or police cell isn’t where I want to have the extent of my phobia tested.”

Wisdom giggled.

Jackson was able to talk Oseni into giving ‘them' the car with a promise of returning it with cash after an initial deposit of his wallet which contains all the cards he possesses. Well, the price was just his conscience since he had to lie they needed it for show off at a party that would be attending on that day. At least, to Oseni, that was the purpose of borrowing his car. Jackson stepped into the driver side with Wisdom taking the front passenger’s side. He turned the ignition, bringing the Kia’s engine to life, stepped on the brake, shifted the gear, turned the car into the road and drove off.

“Next stop?” Willy asked.

“Old Kutunku.”
Literature / The Tale Of "Jackass": A short story. by maputohq: 10:14pm On Mar 21, 2020
Please I need corrections on any wrong grammatical expression. thanks.

.
The noise he heard that night sounded as those of babies crying. He could not discern from where it came neither could he tell how far exactly but he believed it wasn’t beyond ten metres off the room window. He was frightened at first when he was woken by the noise but casting his ears farther into the darkness, he drew the conclusion that those were the noise of cats – there were lot of stray cats in his neighborhood. What amazed him was the way the cry came in unison as though they were rehearsing for a music performance on an opera stage. His initial perception was that the legendary bush baby had decided to pay him a visit but he discarded those thoughts almost immediately: he doesn’t believe in the supernatural.
.
Jackson couldn’t get himself back to sleep. It wasn’t due to paranoia or some eerie sounds outside his window; sleep seemed to have eluded him. He pulled himself off his bed and walked to the window which was farther from the bed. He peered deep into the darkness and could see a silhouette of the creatures moving in it. The sky looked dark as well as it seemed the moon was shy to display its light for that night. Jackson returned to bed and sunk slowly into it not wanting to disturb the lady lying peacefully at the other end of the bed. He watched her half exposed body for a while noticing her lingerie falling towards one side of her breasts almost baring it fully save for the nipple which still protruded beneath whatever piece of clothing could cover it. That wasn’t enough to make blood flow downward through to his manhood. He turned, facing the other side of the room.
.
The previous night hadn’t been great for Patricia and him. This night was also heading the same direction. He was used to always having Patricia around, once every quarter, where she spends a day, two or maybe three with him. They always made sure they both had enough of each other for those nights with Patricia leaving behind certain cravings in Jackson’s heart when she leaves, only to be satisfied during her next visit. Those three months are usually extremely long for Jackson as he strives to remain loyal to his only love - at least from women. He couldn’t deny though that he do have affairs with his palm and Vaseline – or soap; whichever he felt comfortable with. Surprisingly, to Jackson, he wasn’t ready for any lovemaking this night. He was one to always initiate sex anytime he has his partner around but this time, it was Patricia who had made attempts to get him aroused. He couldn’t get himself aroused, not by any means; not even with the help of his greasy palm.
.
The night was a long one for Jackson he tossed and turned. He finally moved to lay on the cold floor. He stayed awake for over an hour before the sleep he had longed for finally took him. He snapped back to life almost immediately; awaken by the loud noise of his alarm clock. It was 6.00 am, but this time, his seemingly sleeping manhood was awake before him. He jumped up off the floor and ran to the toilet to take a dump. It seems to have been part of his daily routine.
.
Though it was few minute past six, darkness still casted its shadows on the earth. Patricia stretched, moved and returned to her state of deep slumber. Jackson moved his gaze to her bosom but her chemise had moved to its right position: it bared only the cleavage. It made no difference whatsoever to him.
The wall clock was inexorably ticking, taking along with it the time. Jackson hurried into the bathroom to have a cold bath. He had been uneasy all through the night and in addition, there was power outage; a daily occurrence in that neighbouhood.
.
With his mind set in leaving the house before Patricia began to gain awareness of her surroundings, he scanned quickly through his wardrobe, picked a Black pair of Jeans trousers and a Blue T-shirt. He debated within himself before picking the hood he detached from his hoody. He was so much in a hurry that he ignored the lotion that had fallen off his study desk. He had no time for any lotion whatsoever; not for his, not for his whole body. He walked silently to the door, carefully enough not to make any sound before dashing into the street. He was going to make sure he avenged Chuks today but first, he has to find Udo.
Education / Re: Updated Scholarship Thread by maputohq: 3:35pm On Oct 21, 2019
Op I need information about nitda scholarship
Investment / Re: Urgently Need 500k Loan To Be Repayed In 6 Months by maputohq: 4:23am On Sep 08, 2019
Chat me up on WhatsApp 08132546664

1 Like

Jobs/Vacancies / Re: PwC Graduate Recruitment 2019 by maputohq: 3:24am On Jul 28, 2019
ajisafetoyin001:

ajisafetoyin001@gmail.com
okechukwuidam516@gmail.com
Celebrities / Re: Ikorodu Bois Mimick Niniola Live Band Performance, Got People Laughing by maputohq: 9:14am On Apr 21, 2019
Joshmodest:

They actually appear stupid , but Davido , Kelechi iheanacho , dj cuppy , tiwa Savage Swanky Jerry , Femi otedola and more than 300k people are aware of thier existence and find thier skits funny, they're making cool money and they're just kids !!!!
pls don't be offended what's your name ??
onana whats ur name

1 Like

NYSC / Re: NYSC 2019 Batch A Corps Members Thread by maputohq: 6:27am On Mar 27, 2019
Landmark445:
Please guys answer these questions

I’m traveling tomorrow being 27th of March to camp and would be arriving late around 6pm!

By what time are we supposed to be in camp!??

If I turn up on the 28th, would there be any issues ?

Please advise
Camp has no closing date...They will only rant but nothing will happen

1 Like

Literature / Re: Number 225 Katakata Street by maputohq: 8:10pm On Feb 20, 2019
Centino:
Make una no beg na, e dey make me feel bad. Actually started writing today but stopped because midweek updates get in the way of hustle. The opportunity cost is always loss of income because time na money. I dey road as I dey type this thing so.

People asking wey this or that character? characters are fading away etc. I know where they are and what they are doing but I can't with once or twice a week depict everything. This tory plenty sotey under the right circumstances I fit write am everyday for 5 years e still no go finish. True.

Now I'm seriously considering doing this as a side hustle, meaning that if i take time from my regular paying schedule do am and i know say something dey come from there, e go dey worthy of d sacrifice.

So my people, hit like if you go like to see this thing as side hustle so that twice a week go dey sure and in a few months, thrice, and in no time, daily. Only Sunday dey very sure now because man must wack.
. Centino nice reply there. 4 nw sunday updates are okay. I cn still remember when i started ff dis thread. I was always waitin 4 sundays. It will surely cum dts it and u have bin kipin 2 ur promise. Nice job bro.

1 Like

Literature / Re: Number 225 Katakata Street by maputohq: 8:28pm On Feb 17, 2019
When will landlord come to collect rent frm dis tenants? Esther is gradually fading away from dis story o. Nice one centino.

2 Likes

Politics / Re: Osinbajo: Pastor Adeboye Prayed For Me Before Helicopter Crash by maputohq: 9:59pm On Feb 04, 2019
inoki247:
Hmmm so u are telling me Sala dat is Plane Crashed offend God he should av consulted Pastor Adeboye before traveling..... ur followers will enjoy the story sha..
u spoke my mind bro. Was about sayin dah same thing
Sports / Re: Australia Open 2019 Thread by maputohq: 8:37am On Jan 16, 2019
Serena 4 d ladies, roger 4 d men
European Football (EPL, UEFA, La Liga) / Re: West Ham United Vs Arsenal (1 - 0) On 12th January 2019 by maputohq: 2:16pm On Jan 12, 2019
Nasri still dy ball o.
Religion / Re: Is Repentance Without Restitution Enough? by maputohq: 1:50pm On Jan 06, 2019
Ruddyman:
hmmmmmmm I know this is an important part of Deeper Life Doctrine
hahahaha. Deeperlife doctrine
NYSC / Re: NYSC 2018 Batch C Corps Members Thread by maputohq: 11:29am On Jan 03, 2019
Please, i dnt knw if i cn gt accommodation in lekki. My ppa just relocated there and i cnt meet up becos i stay in yaba
Politics / Re: 2019 Elections: Only APC Posters & Billboards On The Streets Of Lagos! by maputohq: 10:00pm On Dec 18, 2018
eyeview:
There is a special group who were given the special assignment to confiscate every billboard, sign post and poster of Jimi Agbaje. They operate around 3:30am with govt covering and vehicle under LASAA.
A few night clubbers have seen them in different parts of Lagos and has caught them on camera dumping Agbajes billboards into their trucks
. Noticd dt on 3rd mainland bridge

1 Like

Politics / Re: Yemi Osinbajo: My Hair Was Not This Grey When I Started Out In 2015 by maputohq: 10:03pm On Dec 16, 2018
bedspread:
That's the Reason we are sending you back to Daura, Lagos or Ogun state... Any one to choose.. so your hair can be Dark again
lol

1 Like

Literature / Re: Number 225 Katakata Street by maputohq: 10:25am On Dec 13, 2018
riqmarol:

such a nice work man..more power to elbow man.. thanks for the mention

2 Likes

Literature / Re: Make Money Writing Football/writers Needed by maputohq: 10:00pm On Dec 10, 2018
Okechukwuidam516@gmail.com. 08132546664
Literature / Re: Number 225 Katakata Street by maputohq: 6:52pm On Nov 10, 2018
ghost reader mode deactivated. centino you have been brilliant all thru. every Sunday I have what to laugh about.
to others join us tomorrow I can promise you u will enjoy tomorrow's episode. it might feature stuffs like buhari certificate, Lai Mohammed, juventus vs united, Peter obi vs elrufai, nuc and ASUU. u won't want to miss it for anything... one love centino

1 Like

Politics / Re: Minimum Wage: Atiku Abubakar Restates His Commitment To Living Wage by maputohq: 9:02pm On Nov 06, 2018
Keeping my fingers crossed
Politics / Re: I'm Starting To Believe Nnadi Kanu by maputohq: 9:02pm On Nov 06, 2018
hmmm
Politics / Re: BREAKING NEWS: Buhari Finally Approves N30,000 As New National Minimum Wage by maputohq: 9:00pm On Nov 06, 2018
Are we still discussing this?
Politics / Re: Prince Charles With Top Nigerian Traditional Rulers by maputohq: 8:59pm On Nov 06, 2018
ok
NYSC / Re: Nysc Batch C 2018 by maputohq: 1:03am On Oct 10, 2018
What are the documents we would need to take to camp? I want to follow stream 2 what will i do.
NYSC / Re: NYSC 2018 Batch C Corps Members Thread by maputohq: 4:59pm On Oct 09, 2018
phemoluv02:
No.. the 2786 u paid is for Call-Up letter or exclusion letter.. Green Card is free... You will be allow to print Green Card in the next 24hrs after the registration
thanks
NYSC / Re: NYSC 2018 Batch C Corps Members Thread by maputohq: 1:40pm On Oct 09, 2018
Are we still going to pay any money to print the call up letter after payin for the green card?

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