₦airaland Forum

Puss360:
Your focus is on Christian marriage, my focus is on "Just marriage"...

Good afternoon my dear

Okay, understood.

Good afternoon.

RedpillAnalyst:
Men are slaves to work and their boss to bring money home to support the family. So that's a fair games and masculine thing.


Women bring money to buy their way out of feminity and marriage. They argue more, become rude, loose sex drive, kids become neglected...etc.

😂🤣🤣 In which book of law is this written?

RedpillAnalyst:
Loosing interest to copulate with their husband mood swings, but getting turned on by somebody in the office mood swing.

Cannot respect and serve husband, mood swing, but doing yes sir and serving their boss at work mood swing.

Men also say "yes, ma'am" to their female boss at work and come home to disrespect their wives, who is also a woman 😂🤣🤣

Nnamdipapa:
I sit down on my couch, thinking over a few things and my mind keeps going back and forth and, this topic is gnawing at the pits of my stomach , I really want to let it out here.

Why is it that lots of married women use "mood swing" as an excuse to avoid their duties and responsibilities in the home? Why do they always hide all their failures under " mood swing?"

The husband is disrespected, the excuse is mood swing
Failing to take adequate care of the children, It is mood swing as usual
Lacking ambition to succeed financially and assist the husband in the home, It is mood swing
Lazy and not willing to do anything meaningful, It is mood swing
Staying 10 hours on Instagram and the excuse is still mood swing
They cant wash their panties, it is mood swing.

I am not understanding the concept of mood swing anymore with our ladies of nowadays. Growing up, I never had a moment when our mothers had mood swings, even when things were not going on well financially, they supported our fathers without complaints and dereliction of their duties in the families. My mom for once, never had a mood swing as she was always available to take care of us.

Why is it that women of these days hide their bad characters under " mood swing". I believe mood swing is a part of lack of emotional maturity as an adult should always be in control of their emotions regardless.

What do you guys think about our lazy women and mood swings. Why is there moods swinging like an erratic pendulum?

Do not belittle the efforts of today's mothers.

Take a moment to imagine carrying so many responsibilities. Do you think it's easy to wake up early every morning, work all day, and still be the last to go to bed? Do you think women are like donkeys or possess superhero strength?

Some women faint from exhaustion, but they often discuss their struggles only with their female friends or colleagues.

With the many responsibilities imposed on today’s mothers, some women still manage to maintain an 8-to-5 job.

Every morning, they wake up early to prepare their children for school, which starts at 7:30am. They are also the ones who ensure that the children’s uniforms are washed and properly ironed.

They keep the house clean and organized while also catering to their husbands, who are often in a hurry for their food to be served.

After work, men, including fathers, come home just to relax, often sitting down on the couch like you are now or crossing their legs to watch TV or read the newspaper.

The modern view of marriage reflects what Christian marriage is meant to be, but we have just been misled by pastors.

Puss360:
Lol.. this post reeeks of masculine dominance!!!!
What do you mean by "She must accept his decision"?
What if his decision doesn't go well with me, should I accept it like that??
All these reasoning that makes marriage looks like a Master/Slave arrangement!!!!
As in, marriage is meant to be the coming together to two people who loves and respect eachother...
Marriage should be based on love na...
Why should I bow to everything my husband says ??
To me o, nothing like husband is the head o....
We are "Equal"....

No, we are not equal, but we are one. We deserve the same convenience and happiness. Husbands and wives are supposed to work together as a team, just as companies have an executive director and other directors who collaborate to make decisions.

Christian marriage is meant to be healthy and interesting, even with the man as the head. Nigerian pastors have soured the sweetness of marriage with their unscriptural sermons.

I have a question I've been wanting to ask pastors: Where in the Bible does it indicate that a woman must sacrifice her happiness, pray for her unfaithful husband to change, or overwork herself by taking on the excessive duties and responsibilities assigned to her?

essentialone:
How can a guy be sure if a girl loves him, when she suddenly says 'No sex' in the relationship?
What else will the guy gain from dating her?
Since relationship is mutual, and the girl is closing her part, what will the guy be gaining from her?

You only feel this way because you prioritize sex. Guys who are open to other benefits don’t have issues dating virgins or celibate ladies.

This is one of the reasons virgins and celibate ladies are quite picky. They might like a guy and still decline him when he approaches because they perceive that he is the type who would prioritize sex in a relationship.

Simply don't date a virgin or a celibate lady. If you are dating one, make it clear to her that you can't stand a relationship without sex. I am sure she will let you go easily; she is probably used to it by now and must have met a lot of guys like you.

Happy married life to them! I hope the guy in the picture is not Realitykings1. The lady looks beautiful and smart.

RealityKings1:
You should work on putting on a little weight so that you'll look appealing. That your profile picture no dey OK abeg

Is the picture sitting on your head

luminouz:
It's toxic to ask you to make food after I asked you to sit down? Lol...una don abuse this toxic word too much... What then do I call 'go and hit your head on the wall' as you said....sexy?

Lol...that you don't think their age is the problem is the height of naivety.

Stop gaslighting me jor; I only reacted to your actions. It's not just about the 'sit down'; it's the tone and manner in which you said it that hurt.

Anyway, today was really stressful. I had a hectic day at work, all I need right now is a massage.

luminouz:
Nah ...still violent. Whatever happened to 'come to the table, I have prepared your pounded yam and efo riro soup and goat meat, enjoy' why must yours involve violence?

Lmaooo ...you must be naive to think Shiloh and other religious gatherings have a higher population of women because they love Jesus more than men! No matter how you paint them, they need husbands and urgently too.

But this is really toxic. After shouting at me and telling me to go and sit down somewhere, you are still expecting me to prepare pounded yam, efo riro, and ogufe for you.

You must be naive to think that their age is the problem.

luminouz:
Nah why you never marry na...very violent woman asking me to hit my head on a wall. Who wan marry such violent, animalistic tendencies.

We don't want your narrative. We won't marry women older than 35. Do your worst!!!

Sorry dear, that one too harsh. Instead, kneel down and raise your hands.

Where in my comment did I say that women 35 years and older are in need of husbands, please marry them? All this crying no necessary; just carry cord go dey flog the men wey dey marry them.

luminouz:
Please go and sit down somewhere jor

Your attempts to defend the topic revealed your own status as someone older than 35. We don't care ok but don't try to guilt trip men into choosing younger ladies over y'all.

You self go and hit your head on the wall.

I am not even 30 yet, but that is not the point. Stop assuming that you represent all men. Women aged 35 and older are comfortably getting married.

Tallesty1:
I doubt there’s any 35-year-old who hasn’t met someone who genuinely wanted them at some point.

For men, it’s often during a phase when you’re broke or still in school. These women truly cared, but you weren’t ready. Sometimes they moved on and married someone else because you didn’t value them or acted like an asshole.

For women, it’s usually about having unrealistic standards when they were younger, breaking up over trivial reasons, or friend-zoning the ones who genuinely cared for them.

Majority has at least that one relationship they wish they didn't mess up.

I agree that almost every woman have had one or more men who showed them genuine love, but there is nothing wrong with setting standards and waiting for the right time.

Almost every married man, even those who have turned their wives into punching bags or who constantly mistreat them, was once caring toward their wives. I doubt any woman would agree to marry a man who is uncaring or shows her hatred.

When will people understand that life is not black and white? It is better for a woman to have her own money and not take chances. I know women who have wealthy husbands that are not very involved in their children's lives, but they are financially secure themselves, so they are handling the responsibilities on their own and living peacefully with their husbands.

jbreezy:
So I'm currently liking this girl, and with all things being equal, I am ready to marry her. But my fear is the age difference, I will be 33 next year while she is currently 24. She likes me too, but I'm still playing safe as I am still skeptical. Should I go on or just cut off the relationship before it becomes serious.

When people say, "Don't marry older men," they are not referring to men like RMD. RMD is 63, and he looks fitter than many men in their 30s.

The age gap should not be an issue; there is nothing wrong with marrying a younger or older woman. As long as you are fit enough for her, she is satisfied with you, and you are financially stable, you can marry her.

You can help her set up a business if she does not already have a stable job or a business, this will make your relationship healthier.

incogni2o:
Problem with you guys is that you lack good Home management skills.

It's normal for a Man to be frugal with spending money in the house cos that's one of the ways to achieve a sustainable spending at home.

Wjy not rather cultivate habits and skills that the Man would appreciate in you as a wife who can cope in any financial situation, You prefer to be an independent woman who isn't virtuous enough to take direction from the husband about money management

The fact is that waiting till 35 doesn't make you enjoy your home any better.

It might just increase your conceited attitude as a person.

The Man is the Head and should always be in the position to direct the home.

Ladies, you better avoid guys like this. Don't marry them in the name of "I want to marry a Christian brother". I no even blame this guy, na Nigerian pastors dey build narcissistic human beings like him.

Pastors should just consider focusing more on topics such as faith, righteousness, and other areas in which they have deep knowledge, rather than on marriage, because they have not yet fully grasped the true dynamics of marriage, they are merely laying down principles that are not rooted in Scripture.

Super33999:
Hope you've consoled yourself. I hope you use your time well

Sabi, why you dey cry? Shey my wristwatch dey on top your head, abi how the way I use my time go affect you? No be me go marry you now.

No deceive yourself, I no need console, I no even dey follow you cry before. Na you sabi wetin you lose.

Super33999:
If as a woman you don't have a partner at 34 or 35, just know it's important you have a good job.
You'll make a good sugar mummy if you have a good job.
Obviously, the primary reason men settle down with women is because of sex and the moment you are 26, for a woman, that tight pussyyyy sexual flavour is gone

Its important you use your time wisely

35, sugar mummy?

Many people like you do not fully understand what relationships entail and are being misled by the media. If you conduct proper research, you will discover that many men, including those of high status, are still marrying women in their 30s.

Most men prioritize qualities such as maturity, physical appearance, intelligence, compatibility, and social connections - which can encompass sexual performance - over age.

Beauty, youthful appearance, and sexual appeal are not confined by age; they can be found in women of all age groups.

Yemike:
Your own forefathers refer to sicke cell as abiku. Abiku is different entirely from sickle cell. Perhaps you want to type olokunrun.

I am so tired; I can't school you right now, try to do your own research.

Please, I need help with this. I have been experiencing it since 2022. I often find myself speaking uncontrollably in a language or languages that I don't understand.

As a logical person, I visited both a doctor and a psychiatrist, and both said that I am okay, so I accepted that it is Spiritual.

I prefer to pray on my own rather than have just any pastor lay hands on me. I visited three of Ayo Babalola's mountains to pray and also to bathe with the water from the mountains: one in Kwara State and two in Ekiti State. I met with the pastors in charge, and they prayed for me and advised me to develop my relationship with the Holy Spirit. I called a pastor I know at MFM, and he also told me that it is the Holy Spirit. I visited Ori-Oke Baba Abiye Ede, where I stayed in a guesthouse on the mountain. During my stay, I prayed and fasted for three days. The experience subsided for a time and it returned stronger and more persistent.

I grew up attending a Spirit-filled Church that strongly endorsed the Holy Spirit, but the Church I am currently attending focuses primarily on preaching the Word of God and prayer.

I am confused because I have not found any gift of the Spirit in the Bible that is similar to this. Even if it is a gift, what is it purpose since I cannot comprehend or interpret it? It can happen at any time or place, even when I am just talking with friends or strangers.

When it starts, I can barely control it. Trying to suppress it makes my body feel like I’m trying to hold back vomit. Sometimes, I feel a breeze around me, and my ear start to tingle.

Lonestar124:
35years is too far for women to get married oo, to avoid bearing disformed and hormonal imbalance children..

Let's stop misleading our younger generation, we are not wiser than our fore fathers.

Which forefathers are you referring to? Are you talking about the ones who referred to people with sickle cell anemia as "Abiku"? We have advanced significantly beyond our forefathers, and our understanding has evolved.

Most women aged 35 and older have healthy pregnancies and give birth to healthy children; however, the risks associated with childbearing do increase significantly for women aged 40 and above. Fortunately, advancements in technology have enabled women to take proactive steps to ensure healthy pregnancies or to preserve their eggs for future use. This approach is a better option than unplanned pregnancies.

It is ideal to wait until you are capable of caring for children before having them. The welfare of children should always be a priority. In fact, the government needs to take steps to address the issue of irresponsible parenting, as this could even help reduce the crime rate in the country. Many children from low-income families face malnutrition; some live on the streets, and some are even introduced to crime at an early age as a means of survival. In sane societies, children have the right to a safe and healthy upbringing.

I advise you to strive for your own financial independence as a woman. Even if you plan to marry a wealthy man, you may still face several disadvantages, as a man can be wealthy yet uncaring and stingy.

Here are a few steps to take:

1. Avoid all forms of distractions during your youth; success should be your only goal. In fact, don't start dating until you are twenty-four or twenty-five, unless you achieve success before then.

2. Either remain celibate or use very effective contraceptives to avoid pregnancy. No matter what you do, try as much as possible to prevent unplanned pregnancies.

3. Don’t allow anyone to pressure you; wait until you are established and successful enough to get married.

Here are a few disadvantages of rushing into marriage as a woman:

1. While you should be comfortably managing your responsibilities, you will end up viewing them as burdens.

2. Your children will not receive the best care.

3. Your husband might perceive you as a burden.

This is not good. The woman should not expect applause for such toxic behaviour, even if her husband is bad.

Some women are naturally pompous, while others insult and disrespect their husbands as a way to retaliate for past actions. However, a woman who feels bitter toward her husband still has the option to walk away from the marriage rather than retaliate in an unpleasant manner. In fact, the best payback is walking away. Cheating is grounds for divorce, and for other toxic behaviours, one can choose to separate and remain unmarried.

Though forgiveness is not easy, and if one is not in the situation, it might be difficult to understand. One can forgive a brutal experience but still find it difficult to forget. It is better for a good woman not to allow a man's brutal attitude toward her to change who she is. Children do not deserve to grow up in a toxic environment, and those who do not know what she has been through may misjudge her and assume she is simply a wicked woman.

I know a woman in the UK who insults and disrespects her husband at every opportunity. She is richer than he is; in fact, she is very wealthy.

I initially assumed her husband was a gentle and kind man, and I pleaded with her to be kind to him. However, when she shared her story, I began to understand her pain. She used to be very humble and respectful, but her husband mistreated her; he would beat her, cheat on her, and insult her at every opportunity.

She was a virgin when she married him, and they had six children together, both male and female. However, he still impregnated other women and had children outside their marriage. She was broke and depended solely on him, and at times, she even had suicidal thoughts. But with great determination, she became a successful woman.

Marriage is supposed to be a private affair, not a public spectacle. If you can't tolerate each other, why not separate in peace? Husbands and wives should avoid speaking ill of each other in public. Such a marriage is toxic and lacks love and respect. Healthy marriages are built on mutual support and understanding.

Some couples are merely tenants in their marriage; their relationship may have ended a long time ago.

ziemcorp:
Normal boss, you know that guys will always f**k up and give attention to anything in skirt so I don't blame her for having an inflated ego. I don't even doubt that she has guys in her friend zone. But that dosent change the fact that she's not pretty. Her head even looks superimposed on her body.

When you say my inflated ego na guys dey cause am, you no lie at all.

Dem wan use compliment kill me! I dey waka for road, dem dey stop me to tell me say I fine. I dey inside my car, dem dey sign to me say I fine. I dey on train, dem dey tell me say I fine. I dey on plane, dem dey tell me say I fine. Dem go just dey make my head swell every time.

My head looks superimposed on my body 😂😂😂

You no fit carry wire go flog God.

Anny69:
😂😂You said it all o. Dem dey vex me sometimes, yeye boys.

😂😂😂

Anny69:
You that your face looks like a used rag with beards have the guts to call a woman ugly? Lol, you're fooling.

Ye, this one enter! Leave the poor guy alone o. If e starts crying now, even coaster biscuit no go fit stop e tears.

But e go better make e stop hating on beautiful ladies. If one gree manage am, e go favour im unborn pikins.

Wetin you expect from a guy like this. Na handsome guys dey give women princess treatment. All this kind guy no get level.

I no even mind am; I just dey follow am yarn to catch cruise. Normal normal, na insecure guys dey cry on top ladies' pictures. Dem dey like abuse beautiful ladies to feel good about themselves. The beauty go dey pepper them😂

dkidd:
Keep quiet there... Which useless men on friend zone? With Ur face like who no well. Fake cheap heavy make-up and dead eyebrows. Looking like Ur smelling mess 😂

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 This is so hilarious

But the funniest part is that even if the fact is argued or frowned upon, it won't change. 🤣🤣🤣

I agree that my mess is smelly; mess was never meant to be smell-free. 🤣🤣🤣

But if I look like my mess, that means my mess is beloved, considering the number of guys that admire me on a daily basis. 🤣🤣🤣

Don't insult my makeup o; I will not take that! My makeup kit is more expensive than a bag of rice.

ziemcorp:
😁😁😁
This made me laugh.
You're not a serious person.

😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

ziemcorp:
You try small.

That my guy, you self dey type "you try small" like say you sabi.

Na just 28 comments you get, you never even reach divided by 20 of my comments yet, but no wahala, keep going, I dey your back. You no see as I dey hype say you sabi English, I even say make dem give you a round of applause.

Very soon, your beholder go show, but guy, no overdo. You know say you no fine, you no get quality, and you no come get intellect. Na English you wan use as cover to attract your beholder, no spoil packaging o. Abi you no wan marry again?

😂 Just 28 comments, and you don dey get errors! That sensational liies wey you write for one post like that go correct am fast before people start noticing. Person wey dey correct someone else no suppose dey make that kind mistake, Na sensational lies e suppose be.

No worry, if you continue like this, beholder go show up quick quick. Pele.

This advice comes from someone who has ventured into several businesses: don't enter any business that you don't know about personally. Even in the ones you are familiar with, you need to be there to monitor them from time to time.

Consider yourself lucky to have discovered him early. I lost millions in my drink business after I hired someone to manage it for me. I had successfully managed the business myself for up a year without any losses before employing him. I needed time to travel and attend workshops, conferences and seminars, which is why I decided to employ him.

He couldn't account for more than 50% of the goods in the store. I had ordered a full truck of bottled water, which consisted of 1,600 packs from Viju Milk Company, and two trucks of Biggi drinks from Rite Food Limited, with each truck containing more than 1,700 packs of drinks. I was away for about a month for a program, and I had asked a family member to help monitor him.

I couldn't take action against him because I wasn't sure if the issue was entirely his fault or if it also involved the family member I had asked to monitor him.

ziemcorp:
If that's your real pix on your profile, I'm sorry. You're not pretty. See as makeup and filter full everywhere. You're unlikely to have the type
of men you mentioned. You also seem to be getting on in age. You can't demand a top value man, unless your father or family is extremely wealthy. Your best bet would be to develop your intelligence and a good character and probably lower your expectations to fully focus on those 'men with potential' you talked about before.

😂😂😂This one think say na from Nairaland I go select husband? If e pain you well, well, you go carry my picture go all social media and try convince all guys say I be ugly lady, make dey no marry me. You think say I dey date yeye guys like you? If you see the kind classy guys wey dey my friend zone alone, you go bow!

idahme:
Bitter leaf I don't have your strength, go and meet your ex I'm not the cause of your troubles.

😂🤣🤣See frustration

Let me leave the poor boy alone before he starts crying again.