₦airaland Forum

Merry100:
Please, I need help with this. I have been experiencing it since 2022. I often find myself speaking uncontrollably in a language or languages that I don't understand.

As a logical person, I visited both a doctor and a psychiatrist, and both said that I am okay, so I accepted that it is Spiritual.

I prefer to pray on my own rather than have just any pastor lay hands on me. I visited three of Ayo Babalola's mountains to pray and also to bathe with the water from the mountains: one in Kwara State and two in Ekiti State. I met with the pastors in charge, and they prayed for me and advised me to develop my relationship with the Holy Spirit. I called a pastor I know at MFM, and he also told me that it is the Holy Spirit. I visited Ori-Oke Baba Abiye Ede, where I stayed in a guesthouse on the mountain. During my stay, I prayed and fasted for three days. The experience subsided for a time and it returned stronger and more persistent.

I grew up attending a Spirit-filled Church that strongly endorsed the Holy Spirit, but the Church I am currently attending focuses primarily on preaching the Word of God and prayer.

I am confused because I have not found any gift of the Spirit in the Bible that is similar to this. Even if it is a gift, what is it purpose since I cannot comprehend or interpret it? It can happen at any time or place, even when I am just talking with friends or strangers.

When it starts, I can barely control it. Trying to suppress it makes my body feel like I’m trying to hold back vomit. Sometimes, I feel a breeze around me, and my ear start to tingle.

Please kindly respond if you know how this issue can be resolved. I'm not satisfied with this situation.

MondayOmoAdugbo:
We can all do better,... For the greater purpose tho.

Okay. What are your expectations for the government?

MondayOmoAdugbo:
Bad, could have been worse,..

Do you believe the current government is doing enough for Nigeria, or do you have greater expectations for its performance?

.

This means you will be exempt from paying taxes if your monthly income is 83,333.33 naira or less. This exemption will primarily benefit very low-income earners.

What is the situation in Nigeria?

🌍 Nigeria is a country rich in potential. There are many questions that need answers, and the concerns on most people's minds are:

What strategic plans are in place to turn our nation around? Is there a roadmap to greatness, or are we simply crossing our fingers and hoping for a miracle or a stroke of luck? 🤔✨

Only the President can provide answers to these questions. 🇳🇬❤️

Modified
Criticizing the government is not new to Nigeria; Nigerians have a long history of expressing their grievances but regardless of the state of the economy, we continue to struggle and move forward. What makes this time different is the increased rate of insecurity in the country.

Insecurity is one of the leading causes of hunger and starvation in the land. Many farmers and hunters face restrictions due to insecurity, hence a significant reason for the rising prices of agricultural produce.

OfeAchi:
This woman has no atom of respect for her husband!
A full adult made a decision and you rudely went to the stage to drag him out. What insolence! If I were to be the husband, I would have landed a heavy slap on the woman who call herself my wife.

If her husband were a responsible man, wouldn't he have declined?

Only a beast raises his hand to his wife. I wish good ladies would stop falling prey to guys like you, and I hope those in toxic relationships find the courage to leave.

BluntCrazeMan:
Then, you guys should concentrate on talking and talking and knowing each other more..

No fun, No Romance, No Pleasing..

JUST TALKS.!!

A sexless relationship can be meaningful and enjoyable; it’s not just about talking and talking.

There can also be fun, romance, and pleasure in a sexless relationship.

Here are just fifteen aspects, among many, that can make a sexless relationship enjoyable:

1. Create a Supportive Environment: Be each other’s cheerleaders. Offer emotional support during tough times and celebrate the good moments together.

2. Strengthen Spiritual Connection: Spend time together in prayer and reflection. Engage in Spiritual practices, such as praying or fasting to strengthen your bond and provide mutual support in your Spiritual journeys.

3. Support Personal Development: Focus on encouraging each other’s growth in various areas, such as finances, career, and personal interests. Celebrate each other’s achievements and provide motivation during challenges.

4. Expand Networks: Actively help each other build connections by introducing one another to new opportunities and valuable contacts. This can lead to personal and professional growth for both partners.

5. Show Care and Compassion: Be there for each other, especially during times of illness or difficulty, by offering support and nurturing one another.

6. Offer Praise and Compliments: Take the time to compliment each other on your appearance, style, or unique features. Acknowledging each other’s qualities can strengthen your bond and boost confidence.

7. Engage in Playful Activities: Engage in games or fun challenges to create joyful moments and share laughter.

8. Enjoy Hobbies Together: Engage in activities you both love, whether it’s cooking, hiking, playing video or board games, listening to music, singing, dancing, working out, reading books, or watching movies. Shared experiences can create lasting memories and strengthen your relationship.

9. Create a Routine: Establish regular date nights or activities to strengthen your bond and enhance intimacy.

10. Share meals together: Explore new recipes, get creative in the kitchen, or enjoy dining at restaurants or fast food spots while engaging in meaningful conversations.

11. Read Books or Watch Movies Together: Spend quality time reading books or watching films together. You can discuss a book or movie that you both enjoy, which can spark engaging conversations and deepen your shared insights.

12. Travel Together: Plan weekend getaways or trips to deepen your connection and create new memories and experiences.

13. Attending Events: Attend concerts, art shows, or community events together. Experiencing new things can create lasting memories.

14. Connect with nature: Enjoy activities like walking, stargazing, camping, hiking, biking, and climbing hills together. Simple gestures, such as holding hands while walking or engaging in heartfelt discussions, can strengthen emotional closeness and deepen your connection.

15. Engage in Open and Meaningful Conversations: Share your dreams, goals, aspirations and fears with each other. Consider creating a vision board together to visualize your future. This practice can foster a deeper understanding and connection between you.

Badmashiii:
Oh I see.

From your write-up you have no qualms about being the weaker party but the person should endeavour not to rub it in your face by being a bit nice which is what you mean by "mutual respect" ,correct?

Many men like myself have mastered such like an art. We would assumed the dominant position but occasionally act nice and defer to some of your whims to massage your ego while still maintaining overall dominance.

Are you still talking about a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship? It seems more like a friendship than a controlling dynamic.

Do you enjoy using your words out of context?

Badmashiii:
You nailed it absolutely. Guess i wasn't wrong when i said you were among the outstanding players.

Power dynamics is the correct term.

Now tell me,in any relationship with a person,whether same sex or otherwise would you rather be the weak party or the one in control?

I tend to be assertive, but I can take on a controlling role when necessary.

My position - whether weak or dominant - often varies based on the type of relationship and the individual I'm interacting with.

I prioritize mutual respect and collaboration in my interactions.

Badmashiii:
No ma'am,power struggles exist in all relationships involving humans.

You as a lady should know better. Women are naturally proficient in the game of power compared to men.

Most ladies will rather die than make the first move to a man they fancy. Why's that? They inherently know the outcome of starting a relationship as the needy party.

The term "playing hard to get" is something mainly associated with women and that tells a lot.

Playing hard to get is an effective way of either increasing your leverage by demonstrating non-neediness or balancing the scale of power if you start the relationship on wrong footings.

There's a saying that goes without saying;"women are Machiavellian as water is wet." You're probably playing dumb on the existence of or even your awareness of the "game" when in reality you're among the outstanding players.

Nice input 👍

However, I believe "power dynamics" is a more suitable term.

Power dynamics exist in all relationships, but not all lead to power struggles. Some partners find effective ways to balance these dynamics.

Power struggle imply a competition for control while power dynamics encompass the structures and mechanisms through which power is distributed within relationships.

Badmashiii:
Ma'am,you sounded respectful and I'll try my best to do the same. It may require an open mind for you to grasp it though.

Any relationship involving two or more is usually governed by needs. One party must have a need that he hopes the other party will give him/her. It could be anything;money,sex,emotional support,social value,fame you name it.

If this need is too much on one part,this will automatically translate to neediness.

Now the other party might not even have a single need for the other but with the huge neediness of the other the leverage in the relationship already lies with him/her.

This explains why some men spend crazy amount on ladies who have serious boyfriends they genuinely care about. And men banging that girl head over heels over them while being nice to and planning wedding with their fiancee.


Same also applies in business settings. Companies will treat you better and be more willing to pay you more when you have unique experience or skills compared to employee that will be easy to replace.

Bottom-line is the power games is being played even indefinitely.

From this, we can conclude that power struggles do exist in some relationships, but they are not inherent to all relationships.

Badmashiii:
Mate,there's already a power struggle right from when they exchanged names and contacts.

Who needs the other party the most? You can't tell me they need each other the same way.

I am not aware of any power struggles that exist in relationships involving two mature individuals.

Women often express their love for men primarily through care, emotional support, and sometimes gifts, while men often show their love and affection for women mainly through financial support and sometimes emotional support.

Money is a man's love language. Even if a woman is not the demanding type, some men will insist that she ask for things or will even offer her gifts on their own. When they genuinely love a woman, men are willing to go the extra mile to show their affection and prove that they are ideal partners.

Badmashiii:
You're trying to paint a picture of an equally balanced power relationship which is far from possible and not very ideal.

In any relationship between two people,whether platonic or romantic,one party must inevitably hold the most power.

The boyfriend-girlfriend relationship is still in the selection stage. There is no power struggle; it simply entails mutual understanding. Both parties have to put in enough effort to ensure satisfaction for one another.

Shugafree:
Thanks, but arent u a female ?

I am seeking the opinion of Mature Men

Yes, I am. Mature women are in a better position to answer questions about women.

Shugafree:
Good day ,mature men in the house, i urgently need your input on this

What is the best response to a female who said i am sexualising her.


Some info

She is 20yrs in 200 L

We were chatting n i playfully called her small breast, then she got angry.(she claims to be a virgin)

She loves me but trying to hide it (her elder sis told me)

I hope you won't be offended if she was the one who said 'small prick' to you.

If I were the one, I wouldn't even take offense; I would just do something similar and see how you would react.

It's enough reason for her to be angry, so apologize to her.

Puss360:
Your focus is on Christian marriage, my focus is on "Just marriage"...

Good afternoon my dear

Okay, understood.

Good afternoon.

RedpillAnalyst:
Men are slaves to work and their boss to bring money home to support the family. So that's a fair games and masculine thing.


Women bring money to buy their way out of feminity and marriage. They argue more, become rude, loose sex drive, kids become neglected...etc.

😂🤣🤣 In which book of law is this written?

RedpillAnalyst:
Loosing interest to copulate with their husband mood swings, but getting turned on by somebody in the office mood swing.

Cannot respect and serve husband, mood swing, but doing yes sir and serving their boss at work mood swing.

Men also say "yes, ma'am" to their female boss at work and come home to disrespect their wives, who is also a woman 😂🤣🤣

Nnamdipapa:
I sit down on my couch, thinking over a few things and my mind keeps going back and forth and, this topic is gnawing at the pits of my stomach , I really want to let it out here.

Why is it that lots of married women use "mood swing" as an excuse to avoid their duties and responsibilities in the home? Why do they always hide all their failures under " mood swing?"

The husband is disrespected, the excuse is mood swing
Failing to take adequate care of the children, It is mood swing as usual
Lacking ambition to succeed financially and assist the husband in the home, It is mood swing
Lazy and not willing to do anything meaningful, It is mood swing
Staying 10 hours on Instagram and the excuse is still mood swing
They cant wash their panties, it is mood swing.

I am not understanding the concept of mood swing anymore with our ladies of nowadays. Growing up, I never had a moment when our mothers had mood swings, even when things were not going on well financially, they supported our fathers without complaints and dereliction of their duties in the families. My mom for once, never had a mood swing as she was always available to take care of us.

Why is it that women of these days hide their bad characters under " mood swing". I believe mood swing is a part of lack of emotional maturity as an adult should always be in control of their emotions regardless.

What do you guys think about our lazy women and mood swings. Why is there moods swinging like an erratic pendulum?

Do not belittle the efforts of today's mothers.

Take a moment to imagine carrying so many responsibilities. Do you think it's easy to wake up early every morning, work all day, and still be the last to go to bed? Do you think women are like donkeys or possess superhero strength?

Some women faint from exhaustion, but they often discuss their struggles only with their female friends or colleagues.

With the many responsibilities imposed on today’s mothers, some women still manage to maintain an 8-to-5 job.

Every morning, they wake up early to prepare their children for school, which starts at 7:30am. They are also the ones who ensure that the children’s uniforms are washed and properly ironed.

They keep the house clean and organized while also catering to their husbands, who are often in a hurry for their food to be served.

After work, men, including fathers, come home just to relax, often sitting down on the couch like you are now or crossing their legs to watch TV or read the newspaper.

The modern view of marriage reflects what Christian marriage is meant to be, but we have just been misled by pastors.

Puss360:
Lol.. this post reeeks of masculine dominance!!!!
What do you mean by "She must accept his decision"?
What if his decision doesn't go well with me, should I accept it like that??
All these reasoning that makes marriage looks like a Master/Slave arrangement!!!!
As in, marriage is meant to be the coming together to two people who loves and respect eachother...
Marriage should be based on love na...
Why should I bow to everything my husband says ??
To me o, nothing like husband is the head o....
We are "Equal"....

No, we are not equal, but we are one. We deserve the same convenience and happiness. Husbands and wives are supposed to work together as a team, just as companies have an executive director and other directors who collaborate to make decisions.

Christian marriage is meant to be healthy and interesting, even with the man as the head. Nigerian pastors have soured the sweetness of marriage with their unscriptural sermons.

I have a question I've been wanting to ask pastors: Where in the Bible does it indicate that a woman must sacrifice her happiness, pray for her unfaithful husband to change, or overwork herself by taking on the excessive duties and responsibilities assigned to her?

essentialone:
How can a guy be sure if a girl loves him, when she suddenly says 'No sex' in the relationship?
What else will the guy gain from dating her?
Since relationship is mutual, and the girl is closing her part, what will the guy be gaining from her?

You only feel this way because you prioritize sex. Guys who are open to other benefits don’t have issues dating virgins or celibate ladies.

This is one of the reasons virgins and celibate ladies are quite picky. They might like a guy and still decline him when he approaches because they perceive that he is the type who would prioritize sex in a relationship.

Simply don't date a virgin or a celibate lady. If you are dating one, make it clear to her that you can't stand a relationship without sex. I am sure she will let you go easily; she is probably used to it by now and must have met a lot of guys like you.

Happy married life to them! I hope the guy in the picture is not Realitykings1. The lady looks beautiful and smart.

RealityKings1:
You should work on putting on a little weight so that you'll look appealing. That your profile picture no dey OK abeg

Is the picture sitting on your head

luminouz:
It's toxic to ask you to make food after I asked you to sit down? Lol...una don abuse this toxic word too much... What then do I call 'go and hit your head on the wall' as you said....sexy?

Lol...that you don't think their age is the problem is the height of naivety.

Stop gaslighting me jor; I only reacted to your actions. It's not just about the 'sit down'; it's the tone and manner in which you said it that hurt.

Anyway, today was really stressful. I had a hectic day at work, all I need right now is a massage.

luminouz:
Nah ...still violent. Whatever happened to 'come to the table, I have prepared your pounded yam and efo riro soup and goat meat, enjoy' why must yours involve violence?

Lmaooo ...you must be naive to think Shiloh and other religious gatherings have a higher population of women because they love Jesus more than men! No matter how you paint them, they need husbands and urgently too.

But this is really toxic. After shouting at me and telling me to go and sit down somewhere, you are still expecting me to prepare pounded yam, efo riro, and ogufe for you.

You must be naive to think that their age is the problem.

luminouz:
Nah why you never marry na...very violent woman asking me to hit my head on a wall. Who wan marry such violent, animalistic tendencies.

We don't want your narrative. We won't marry women older than 35. Do your worst!!!

Sorry dear, that one too harsh. Instead, kneel down and raise your hands.

Where in my comment did I say that women 35 years and older are in need of husbands, please marry them? All this crying no necessary; just carry cord go dey flog the men wey dey marry them.

luminouz:
Please go and sit down somewhere jor

Your attempts to defend the topic revealed your own status as someone older than 35. We don't care ok but don't try to guilt trip men into choosing younger ladies over y'all.

You self go and hit your head on the wall.

I am not even 30 yet, but that is not the point. Stop assuming that you represent all men. Women aged 35 and older are comfortably getting married.

Tallesty1:
I doubt there’s any 35-year-old who hasn’t met someone who genuinely wanted them at some point.

For men, it’s often during a phase when you’re broke or still in school. These women truly cared, but you weren’t ready. Sometimes they moved on and married someone else because you didn’t value them or acted like an asshole.

For women, it’s usually about having unrealistic standards when they were younger, breaking up over trivial reasons, or friend-zoning the ones who genuinely cared for them.

Majority has at least that one relationship they wish they didn't mess up.

I agree that almost every woman have had one or more men who showed them genuine love, but there is nothing wrong with setting standards and waiting for the right time.

Almost every married man, even those who have turned their wives into punching bags or who constantly mistreat them, was once caring toward their wives. I doubt any woman would agree to marry a man who is uncaring or shows her hatred.

When will people understand that life is not black and white? It is better for a woman to have her own money and not take chances. I know women who have wealthy husbands that are not very involved in their children's lives, but they are financially secure themselves, so they are handling the responsibilities on their own and living peacefully with their husbands.

jbreezy:
So I'm currently liking this girl, and with all things being equal, I am ready to marry her. But my fear is the age difference, I will be 33 next year while she is currently 24. She likes me too, but I'm still playing safe as I am still skeptical. Should I go on or just cut off the relationship before it becomes serious.

When people say, "Don't marry older men," they are not referring to men like RMD. RMD is 63, and he looks fitter than many men in their 30s.

The age gap should not be an issue; there is nothing wrong with marrying a younger or older woman. As long as you are fit enough for her, she is satisfied with you, and you are financially stable, you can marry her.

You can help her set up a business if she does not already have a stable job or a business, this will make your relationship healthier.

incogni2o:
Problem with you guys is that you lack good Home management skills.

It's normal for a Man to be frugal with spending money in the house cos that's one of the ways to achieve a sustainable spending at home.

Wjy not rather cultivate habits and skills that the Man would appreciate in you as a wife who can cope in any financial situation, You prefer to be an independent woman who isn't virtuous enough to take direction from the husband about money management

The fact is that waiting till 35 doesn't make you enjoy your home any better.

It might just increase your conceited attitude as a person.

The Man is the Head and should always be in the position to direct the home.

Ladies, you better avoid guys like this. Don't marry them in the name of "I want to marry a Christian brother". I no even blame this guy, na Nigerian pastors dey build narcissistic human beings like him.

Pastors should just consider focusing more on topics such as faith, righteousness, and other areas in which they have deep knowledge, rather than on marriage, because they have not yet fully grasped the true dynamics of marriage, they are merely laying down principles that are not rooted in Scripture.