₦airaland Forum

uninspired07:
Who will marry that ugly mutete? Can’t you see she’s bitter because she’s passed her prime?

The fact that she’s ugly & still proud boggles the mind.

I actually thought she was a pretty woman due to her pride but I was left flabbergasted when her picture revealed that she’s an ugly individual with a dark soul. I now perfectly understand her bitterness at menfolk. I think she needs a shrink fast!!!

...What is wrong with you? Cant you disagree with somebody without rambling on like a village drunkard?

Wtf I actually thought you were slightly sensible reading through your population thread but youre even worse than the majority of the illiterates here

cerpvad:
That line that I wrote before and which you bolded is just an exemplification. If you read the line that follows it you will discover it wasn't a generalization like you perceived it to be. You only quoted it out of the context.

I know you followed it with "some ladies" to qualify your statement but the actual stance in itself was wrong.

Is it "dont marry just for wealth" or "avoid wealthy women"? Those are 2 different things.

Kennedyiheme:
just watch how depression and suicide will finish you women ...alot of men are red pill now.. no one wants to deal with all your bullshit... i pity any man getting married now

Hahaha back to sender! Red pill kee you there idiot get out of my mentions with your nonsense suicide!

Who is committing suicide for a non-entity like you bahaha

Modyke:
Try harder funmisticquee

Why is it hard for you to believe it's his wife? Why was it easy for you to believe his story not minding if it could be some sinister plot of some jobless guy trying to make women look bad as it's the norm on this forum? If the poster is telling the full story, he should respond and ask her a question that only him and her know and let's see if she can answer. We should not be too quick to judge in matters that we are not entirely informed about. It is not even in anybody's place to judge, we are not God. Many people here jumping to conclusions and giving advice in reality will not take their own advice. I wish both of them well.

This thread is a giant misogynistic cesspool. Nobody even cares what the truth is!

Even after she asserted that some of the OP is a bunch of lies, theyre still here talking rubbish.

I dont think the people behind these monickers had enough sleep after crossover service last night because something is really wrong with some of them

RisenPhoenix:
I do not believe in utopias like you seem to do. Nor do I engage in self deceit. Some relationships are obviously toxic, and there is no point throwing oneself wholehearedly into what is obviously a one sided farce. You can advice the op to go spend his little available money on counselling, but in my opinion, the respect is never going to come back. Women tend to be more clingy to a marriage concept, and more likely to have the romantic belief that a marriage can still be made to work. But I am a man and I know that before the op can come and state on SM that his wife has emasculated him, the relationship must be beyond repair. One doesn't have to use ambiguous terms to describe what is as glaring as the sun. But only time can tell, and I wish that you will be right, though I do not believe it.

And remember that inherently, white and black are themselves just the extreme ends of the different shades of grey.

Its not utopic fantasy to look holistically at a situation and see what factors could be adjusted in order to make things better overall.

If anybody believes in any "utopia" here, its you because you seem to believe that scrapping his marriage will suddenly make the OPs life perfect. What if it doesnt? Why throw the baby out with the bathwater, just because its not working out at the moment? What about the future?

This is not a clean-cut issue; thats what Im trying to explain to you. He cant just slice his wife off his life like a bundle of plantain from a tree. Try to be realistic.

You can see how you responded to that guy who accepted an unsuitable job because of the negative effects his unemployment was having on his home life. Let me guess, dem never born the woman who could influence you to take such a step, right? Thats why youre hell-bent on "enlightening" the guy on how his wife's expression of discomfort has somehow totally destroyed his entire life, even though hes not complaining smh.

What you cant seem to understand is that the person was still able to scale his difficulty, despite his mis-step. You want him to go railing at his wife over it, but he wont! Its not significant in comparison with other elements in his life...thats what you keep missing with your binary code way of reasoning. The 0.1s and 0.2s.

Its very funny that you immediately picked out counselling from all of my suggestions, just because it costs money. Doesnt divorce cost a lot of money? lmao. Apparently the OP has absolutely nobody he could talk to without coughing up the last of his savings, according to you. This conversation is just a gift that keeps on giving smh

There you go again! The relationship is beyond repair, when he never told you that his relationship is beyond repair! I wish I were talking to you face to face, this is hysterical. Where do you get all these projections and extrapolations from? Are you a meteorologist?

At least you've acknowledged that "only time can tell"; maybe I am finally getting somewhere because thats what Ive been trying to tell you.

If black and white are just the opposite ends of grey, why is it so difficult for you to acknowledge the vast array of shades between the two extremes?

googi:
There are two issues here.

1. Security. Those men that were supposed to protect the Pope should have been fired. No reasonable person pulls an 83 year old man like that. The Pope lost his balance and could have landed on the floor. No one with security following him should have been so exposed. Not even African head of state or American. That lady would be cooling her heels in detention.

I thought the same thing but when you watch the video, you can see that the security man gently tried to pry the womans hands off before the Pope lost his temper and slapped it away.

You cant expect security to jump absolutely every single time somebody touches the Pope; Im sure they have other security measures that are more subtle than just those guys

Xbee007:
The Qur'an does contain contradictions. This brought about the concept of abrogation in Islam.

I know. But just going along with what she said, contradiction or no contradiction is not even the point when it comes to the question of sin and the human condition.

Which is actually the whole point of all 3 Abrahamic religions and which my Muslim sister refuses to grasp no matter how many ways I try to explain it to her.

k4kenny:
The bolded part of your response is exactly what you're doing, in case you haven' t realised it. The bible said Jesus said he's the way the...., that doesn't make him a deity, neither does it mean he's the sole way to heaven. He was sent as means to God for the people at the time.

You need to read the earliest history of Christianity. It hasn't always been a trinitarian religion. The earliest Christians didn't believe in what you people believe today. They believe in the Oneness of God and Jesus was inspired by Him. The Trinity was something developed in the 4th century, some 300 years after his passing. In the process, they rewrote and twisted the gospels to fit their trinitarian idea. Why anyone would want to stake their belief on an illogical principle invented by a council of men in the ancient times is seriously beyond me.

Put your education to good use and do some research. Use your mind and don't be blind-sighted by emotions. Peace.

You totally ignored the rest of the passage that I posted and ended up repeating yourself and going off the point, which I notice you have a habit of doing when the conversation is not going your way.

You are totally unserious lol tisbah aala khair ya ukhti Better put your own education to good use and learn to read before responding!

PerfectlyPerfect:
And you clearly hate him which is why you're making this seem like he attacked the woman. Watch the video and judge for yourself. If it were your Daddy G.O, that woman wouldn't have even gotten the chance to get close to him, not to talk of touching him Here's the link. You be the judge

He. Slapped. The. Woman. Accept it and move on!

RisenPhoenix:
I am seen as extreme because I can be brutally blunt, and in this case, I was not trying to advance any romantic image or make him feel better. I understand that any suggestion of divorce is seen by most as rigid and harsh, even when it is clearly indicated; but my primary interest was to get him going financially once more.

From his description of the woman's behaviour, it is patently obvious that she has no respect for him, and is putting him under undue emotional and mental stress. As a man, I understand how important a calm mind is if he wants to properly ponder on his next move. In this respect, she is hindering him and; barring an outright miracle which I do not believe in;he will not be able to recover with such a woman giving him these worries. She has from her behaviour, clearly decided she is not going to be supportive or to compromise in any way. There is no other solution but to jettison this hindrance and focus on his plans to move forward.

I do not normally advice people to divorce lightly, but in this case, the marriage is doomed anyway. Even if he does succeed despite her opposition, will there ever be mutual respect, or will she still remain the person that he will wamt to keep him company in their old age? I don't think so.

See? "doomed", "ever", "he will not be able to", "no other solution", "barring an outright miracle". Totally absolutist language where there is no need for it. Especially in marriage which is by definition a mish-mash of shifting circumstances and compromises.

So people only overcome marital difficulty when they are bestowed with a miracle? No discussion, airing of grievances, counselling, advising or even outright screaming and shouting? You are not saying the right thing at all.

Plenty of people were blunt with OP on this thread yet they didnt tell him to divorce. My grouse with you is not that you are extreme but that your extremism is directionless; it lacks nuance. Just like I was telling the Martinez fellow. Your point gets lost in the sea of irrelevant posturing youre doing not to help anybody but to force your own agenda.

And when somebody challenges you people on it you either ridicule the person or dismiss them as "not comprehending", because deep down you know your assertion was too fallacious to stand up to any real scrutiny.

What right do you have to tell somebody that their marriage of 13 years is doomed? Who gave you licence to assume that if they do recover, there wont be mutual respect? So nothing can ever change according to you, for the rest of their days? Neither of them can ever learn anything?

How can your primary interest be to "get him going financially once more" without taking his marriage into consideration? Dont you think that that was single-minded of you? Is divorce the only solution you could come up with?

The advice you give keeps missing the mark because you see things in black and white when in reality, all relationships are painted grey.

RisenPhoenix:
I'm always reasonable. However, my observations may seem out of point for two reasons; one is that they may go contrary to some people's long held beliefs, so they resist accepting them. Changing one's beliefs is extremely difficult. The other is that the vast majority of people; while they could be actually smart; are mentally lazy. They do not take time to comprehend and analyze what other people are saying. They just react without thinking. Because of the very short attention span of a lot of people, they read only for the purpose of answering, not to understand. I notice that you do that often as well; contrary to your monicker; though you seem to be somewhat smarter than average.

On the contrary, I fully comprehended what you wrote the last time and I maintain that it was illogical and insensitive.

You dont hear about a relationship issue and then rush to advise the person to divorce. Divorce is not a go-to solution but a last resort; especially with 3 children involved. We can clearly tell that the man is vulnerable and you didnt even suggest any type of conciliatory measure he could take.

All you cared about was removing the guy from what could be a temporary discomfort or pain, which is totally unrealistic when all relationships go through some element of difficulty.

Nobody acts like that, otherwise nobody would be in a relationship and what really made me angry was that you are actually married to your own wife and still jumped to tell somebody to trash theirs.

You were not being reasonable in that instance but rigid. You dont have the right to condemn somebody's wife as somebody OP "can never grow with", especially since you have never met the woman in your life.

Going against a long held belief is not my problem; if the person is justified and can rationalise their argument with logical reasons and not emotion-laden conjecture or extremity for extremity's sake (which is what you often present with) then I have no problem changing my mind.

Can you defend what you wrote up there?? Can you defend telling somebody that his wife can "never", as in never o! Never grow with him? Its just not a feasible argument and you cant claim that people who disagree with you are somehow too stubborn or scatter-brained to "comprehend" what youre saying.

mastermaestro:
Thank you jare. Let haters be judging the Pope for patting her on the wrist. She actually deserved a punch.

Lol anybody who is "hating" didnt watch the video or else let me come and be dragging their own fathers hand and see if they dont beat me very well! Nonsense!

OyinO:
Nigerian youths are the worst hit when it comes to the European mental brainwashing of Africans through SLAVERY AND COLONIALISM. Comments here expose the fact that they don't even know anything about the Popes of Rome, the Vatican, the Catholic Church, Islam and their real purpose and objectives in global politics. Dumb miseducated youths.

Care to enlighten us? Im interested in the topic but its quite complicated.

mastermaestro:
I am not Catholic but the woman was disrespectful of the Pope. If someone pulled me back in such a terrible manner, I would throw a punch. Had the Pope not been standing well, he could well have stumbled to the ground considering his age.

Exactly. Imagine if he lost his balance and fell down? She should be grateful for the slap sef..imagine being known as the woman who killed the Pope?

That one na life-affirming slap

Milllz:
You did not read the post but rushed to comment.
I blame the editorial for portraying the news this way. You should have at least tried to read it too.

The woman grabbed his hand and pulled him closer, he had to tap/slap/beat the woman’s hand to be let go so he can continue his greetings with others. There’s no reason he should be apologizing in the first place.

In fact, she could have dislocated the old mans wrist with the way she was rough-handling him so the slap was more like self-defence.

If he were an old man living in a care home, his family could sue the healthcare facility for abuse. What a crazy human lol I thought the Pope is even supposed to be treated with more trepidation since you respect him so much!

Miniso:
the person that posted this article is mad. for life madness was dat a slap, iz dat hw dey slap people it was a tap, like a let go tapping. the pope tapped the aggressive lady to let go. these dumb nigerian bloggers be posting piece of bull shit. kindly watch the video and don't be decieved by these misleading article...

Stop it! Stop trying to cover up just because hes the pope. There is enough hypocrisy in the church already.

This incident has been reported worldwide using the word SLAP because he clearly SLAPPED the womans hand. A tap is totally different from a slap.

He has already apologised and we have forgiven him. Call a spade a spade and stop trying to obfuscate issues just because you like the guy

oloriLFC:
All the people that thronged Jesus during His earthly ministry, the bible didn't tell us He slapped any of them. One even touched His garment and power came out of him but He didn't slap her

You are right! The Popes action was not mimetic of Christ's infinite patience and thats why he eventually apologised.

Nobody is supposed to be violent towards anybody; however if you clearly have no respect for your fellow humans personal space and at a point, he responds to you with a hardy SLAP you shouldnt be surprised!

Lol! The woman dragging him can she drag her father in such a manner?

People try to walk all over you because youre trying to be gentle for Christ.

Why are you touching somebody you dont know Did the Bible tell you to do that smh

I dont agree with all the Catholic stuff but this should be one thing that I can take away from that church. At least being a Christian doesnt mean people should do you anyhow

Cadillac15:
I have a funny feeling that the OP and the woman claiming to be his wife are not related in reality.

This forum is anonymous and there are thousands if not millions of issues bearing similar background in Nigerian marriages today.

This might just be a case of mistaken identity.

Well, she seems sure that OP is her husband.

I have heard and read so many things without them really affecting me. But truly, this thread has made me agree with the statement "you are making me to become afraid of marriage".

See divergent stories! Ha!!

RisenPhoenix:
I assume that the downturn did not take place in one day, it is easier to reduce expenses overtime.

I myself have experienced just such a situation quite early in my marriage, so I am not just talking arbitrarily. Along the line, you find ways to reduce expenses one step at a time; but only if your wife is supportive of the plan. She did supplement once in a while, but never to the point where her contribution was essential; and we agreed that my permission would always be sought and any contribution would always be a strictly documented loan. With greater peace of mind, I was able to quickly diversify my business, get out of my situation and pay back the few loans I took from her and other family members in full.

Now this is reasonable. I dont see why people are arguing with you about saying that somebody should cut his coat according to his cloth.

Whats wrong with taking garri for a while if thats what you can afford? At least its food, isnt it? Should they keep eating themselves out of their house?

I dont get it; how can you be reasonable in some things and totally out of the point in others? Youre an enigmatic fellow..hmm...

Awon "I cannot comment until I hear from the other person" crew oya ooo!

Cadillac15:
They don't o. But it happens time and again.

Na wa o

How can somebody say his wife had nothing upon marriage when actually she had something? Who is the person deceiving lmao

And do her siblings have a hand in it or not? How can 2 people be saying something totally different lol what are we supposed to do now after reading it

uninspired07:
This is an issue to be settled at home.

The divergent views that will be gotten from anonymous bachelors & spinsters will likely tear their marriage apart. Both parties will do well to settle the matter through clergy & elders in their respective families.

She has a right to answer for herself because people are giving him advice based on what he has told us.

Dont you think its weird that somebody should lie about another person buying a parcel of land?

Some people are crazy!

Ilekokonit:
That's why Naija men ned to start borrowing a leaf from Jamaican men who NEVER live with 1 woman but have variuos babymama's who dare not turn the kids from different mothers against one another or against the man.

The Jamaican man is a study in how the Alpha male rules his Harem even though he doesn't live with any of them and they know he has many women but they dare not cheat on him.

Lol! Do you also know that Caribbean men are EXTREMELY domesticated As in they cook, clean, iron and do all without anybody asking them to do so?

Will you people also "borrow" that leaf? Smh very unserious creatures in this thread.

Cadillac15:
Wow

Shit is about to get real

As in! I always wondered whether people considered that their husband/wife may see what they wrote about them and put 2 and 2 together.

cerpvad:
Madam don't vex abeg. What you called backward reasoning has made many a husband to lose their value and integrity as men. When you pursue a lady and end up marrying her because of her social class and wealth, be ready to face the music whenever it starts playing.

Though l agree with you that it takes good upbringing and individual character for a woman not to lord it over her husband in marriage, but the percentage of such ladies is very low in the reality of our society today.

My candid opinion is still for guys to marry down and never marry up their social class. But for ladies, they can marry up or down.

Yes, you shouldnt pursue a lady solely because of social class and wealth. That would be stupid.

But thats different from saying that you should avoid a woman solely because of social class and wealth. Thats what you wrote before.

The bolded is true anyway, I just didnt like the way you cast all wealthy or wealthy-born women as bad in your previous post.

Martinez39:
this is the last time I would exchange you on this thread. You are not to be taken seriously.

Hahaha I was just about to tell you the same thing.

Im happy to see that you have exposed how flimsy your arguments are they cant stand up to an ounce of scrutiny and anybody following them will lead a very unfortunate life indeed!

Hahaha "there is no discrimination against female doctors" and "cars are designed for both men and women for their safety" when you can literally find evidence to the contrary in less than 5 seconds

But I know you wont, because you would rather remain in your dark, bitter bubble of irrational hatred. Such is typical of the existence of a raging extremist no logical argument or counter-claim, just to close your eyes and ears and drown the other person out because you cant handle the truth

Terrible! What a waste of literacy.

cerpvad:
He who pays the piper dictates the tune. Marriage is woven around power and class interface. Earning power and social class are two main factors I always advise guys to consider before marrying a lady. If she earns more than you and she's from a wealthy family, guys, run for your life. Some ladies, after using their earnings and wealthy family to entice you into marriage, would bite you back with a lifetime controls, blackmails and giving you depression. In fact they would be feeling too big to have sex with you.

Stop reasoning in a backward manner.

Whether the lady will submit to you or not depends on so many things, including her individual character and upbringing. Some women are heading multinationals but still rush home to cater to their man yet some will come from the village without even 2 kobo to rub together and begin to drag remote with him.

Earning power and social class should be considered for what they are and not to judge whether a woman will be arrogant or not.

funmisticqueen:
Thank you

Im waiting for him to come back and answer that question. See how they all want to faint at the idea of a man sweeping his own parlour smh

bukatyne:
Which everyone seems to be skirting around.

Happy new year.

They have answered o, and as usual they are vomiting nonsense!

A prosperous year to you and your family!

Martinez39:
Mention ways in which YOU are disadvantaged. Also mention ways in which the system has neutrally put women at a disadvantage.

I knew you would say that. But thats not the point. Do you acknowledge the validity of my counter-argument, or not?

Or did all the hundreds of studies and articles that document discrimination against female doctors somehow bypass your biased eyeballs

By the way, does timetabling and workplace schedule always automatically take into account that a woman has domestic, maternity or childcare commitments?

Do cars and seatbelts that have been tested on male models adequately provide the same insurance against injury for women during an accident?

If you would stop to consider, your posts would make sense but you are extreme to the point of illogicality. It helps no-one and it makes it difficult to see your posts as anything more than bitter, cantankerous rambling!

rayobaba:
not so easy. Fine not to touch her money, but to reduce standard of living is not easy because she wl be upgrading d living standard by buying expensive foodstuff come home. Wl u as husband stop her from buying such, no

If financial circumstances no longer allow for buying expensive foodstuffs then the man should explain this to the woman instead of developing high BP because he doesnt know how to say the truth.