₦airaland Forum

Khalidase83:
Sounds interesting; then I guess u r from the West then .

No lol I am from the East. Are you from the North; why did you think I was??

zeeprince:
what are u saying was he not alive when it was reavealed by Allah to him ?

You keep typing about nothing! Mention me again when you have an good answer.

SmellingAnus:
hahaha better date with you?

I hope you wont crack on me when I tell you to go and remove your ripped jeans and faded T-shirt Na important courtship question oo

tonididdy:
When I read the first original post by you, I had a mild conclusion in my mind of "Your" kind of character and then reading the second post I made a conclusion which you can call an opinion tho.

I think you are BOSSY for a wife. Possibly you make more money than your husband (you don't have to answer to this, just check yourself and see if I am right or not).

Your husband spending an extra 1hr in the wardrobe, is unusual of any man who has little or excess of clothes to choose from, that 1hr delay is a time of shame, embarrassment or belittling for him (esp because it happened in front of your kids and possibly you have a grown up kid who is mature enough to make her own reasoning of situations) or he spotted a neighbor or someone who saw the whole "go change your shirt thing", he felt embarrassed and controlled by you again, hence the anger when you bossed him again to take a photo (of which we do not know the tone in which that command went). Do remember that some pidgin English are aggressive compared to good English.

take us a photo is different from 'abeg take us picture jor.

Well just me and my psychology classes reasoning here.

Shalom.

This is a good contribution.

Obi1kenobi:
Being English doesn't stop him being Muslim. And a Muslim erecting Christmas imagery in his house is very strange. Even many Christians consider Christmas trees, ornaments and decorations idolatrous, talk more of Muslims. It's one thing to wish people of another religion goodwill in their religious celebrations and festivities. It's another thing to actually celebrate it with them when their celebration contravenes your faith. Muslims respect Jesus as a great prophet of God but consider the divinity accorded Jesus by Christians blasphemous. So if you're a devout Muslim, you'd certainly be offended by Khan, one of the biggest ambassadors of the Muslim community in Britain, amplifying Christmas imagery.

All this stuff youre saying is beside the point. Christmas is no longer particularly a "Christian" holiday so its not necessarily the same as worshipping Jesus; it means something different to everybody irrespective of religious background. The symbol of a Christmas tree does not necessarily carry the same religious weight as the symbol of a cross. Just like most people dont care to know who "Santa Claus" actually is.

You have no idea what he does as part of his tradition until you ask him. Plenty of Muslims put up Christmas trees in their homes and dont see anything wrong in it. Especially somebody who grew up in the 1990s in a working-class area of Manchester. And mentioning that Christians at times see Christmas trees as idolatrous is even more outside of the point! What has that got to do with what an individual does in his house

Did you know that Khan is a Sufi Muslim? Sufis celebrate and recognise the relevance of leading figures in all other religions, which is one reason why they are persecuted and killed all over the world. I guess youre in support of that too right? Since hes not acting like your own definition of a "Muslim" What if hes actually expressing his own religious freedom in recognising the significance of Christ in his life?

Yes, if youre a devout Muslim of a particular sect you may find it offensive. But what Im saying that its not as simple as asking what a "practising Muslim" is doing putting decorations in his house when he has not been "practising" his faith in a vacuum.

ifeanyija:
girls beware of ur fellow girls, no guy condemded the suit.

Everybody knows that the main point in a white wedding is the dress, so you have no point.

And at least 2 male monickers have already questioned the guys trousers, meaning that you were just looking for female comments to analyse. Shame

Obi1kenobi:
I'm quite sure he wasn't criticized just because he wished anyone "Merry Christmas". Muslims wish Christians "Merry Christmas" all the time. He seemed to cross the line though with the Christmas tree and all that. Why would a practising Muslim erect Christmas imagery in his house?

Because he's also English! Thats what he grew up with and its part of him.

If he had grown up through all of primary school till now singing "We Wish you a merry Christmas" then it would be strange to stop it now

SmellingAnus:
I don't think she is safe either... The man is definitely going through stuffs that his wife is unaware of... If I have 10 friends at least 8 or 9 are married, it's either their wives complain about them to me or they complain about their wives... There is hardly a happy marriage amongst them is just that some of them still look beyond their differences and still make out fun time pending when the fire and brimstone era sets in... The way we see marriages as singles is as good as fantasies...

Lol, I think you need to make some new friends! You dont know one of us must still arrange better date for one Saturday with you?

MariaAngeles:
It's not just "OK", it's vintage.
Her daughter could wear it in future for her own wedding and it'll still be stylish.

Its not stylish. It looks coarse. Its average in terms of look.

But I agree with you that it is timeless. Her daughter could definitely wear it, and her granddaughter after that.

Adanairaland:


There is a whole lot of stuff I wanna say concerning clothes but I'm just too tired to type...

Sometimes ,it is not all about the looks..

Its the Brand and quality.

No problem, but in terms of "looks" the lace and embroidery do not warrant a high cost. Its not fine enough, especially at the collar.

Brand and quality can still look bad, so one should get value for her money. I'd rather have a cheaper dress with no brand as long as the craftsmanship was up to standard.

Adanairaland:
Hate the gown?

I bet you don't know how much that gown cost

Its just okay or average. If it costs much it should look better than that though it doesnt look bad either

SmellingAnus:
If she leaves that man may even accuse her of adultery wether she is innocent or not... Lol ... My dear marriages these days na scam... Marriages turn sane people to mad people...

She should leave to one of their family members if possible...I personally dont believe she is safe in that house if he could be so bitter as to beat her up and leave her on the ground. Does she even lock the bedroom when she's sleeping Sheesh

Whatever he accuses her of is his business...at least accusation is better than beating!

CSTR2:
It is only a matter of time that third generation Muslims in western countries absorb their new way of life and become civilised.

If you want your child to be strictly Islamic, remain in your backward Muslim countries.

If you go to England, you may not like the result.

Funnily enough, some second and third generation immigrants are even more susceptible to becoming extremists because they feel like they dont have any roots and begin to romanticise their "homeland". This is why so many of them ended up rejecting everything the West had to offer and joined ISIS

Graxie:
My anger with her is that she still went for the party. What kind of fake life are you living? Is it that you don't have self worth? You dragged your kids to go to the party after all that happened. Madam you are a shame to motherhood. Don't worry, new year beating will be deadly, go like some people are advising you to ask him what happened? Then he will show you 2020 in view.

Wait, but I dont understand the connection you guys are making between the beating and the party. Somebody said its "an intricacy of marriage" that I couldnt possibly understand, well I am ready to learn.

What is wrong in what she did? Where is the lack of self-respect there?

baby124:
Her husbands dressing concerns her. What are you talking about? If my husband doesn’t like my dressing or he has an opinion on it, I take it and change. You have to be mentally imbalanced to take dressing so seriously. Like you don’t have other life issues.

She was right anyway to tell him to dress more appropriately for the occasion. She already picked out the clothes for him. If he didn’t agree he won’t have gone in to change it. Did she put a gun to his head? So why the beating after agreeing? Some of you are mentally deranged I really pity people who have to pick spouses from a cesspool of sick men like OP’s husband.

Thank you.

If you allow your husband to go outside looking like a joke, do you really love that guy

Hm! Make I no talk before dem come beat me for house o since its that serious smh

Wettoid123:
An invitation she wanted to go with her husband and the shameless man beat her up and attended the party alone without the wife or kids and this same woman shamelessly dust her body and held on to the same party that your husband was not even proud of taking you to haaaaaaaaa 'I believe you don't even know the intricacies of marriage cos you are still single' in marriage respect is reciprocal if you tell your man that you are a rag be sure you will be use as a rag or maybe the woman in question is even a dependent woman she have no option than to be 100percent loyal too bad.

So what would you rather she had done? All these things youre writing have nothing to do with the fact that she went with her kids to the occasion.

She said that the man went out without telling her where he was going and she was surprised to see him there.

Youre just typing all sorts that dont even relate to the topic. Respect is reciprocal and respect starts with respecting yourself! Why cant she go somewhere if she feels like going

adegbiji:
Whatever wrong the woman had done in the context of the story she had narrated is no justification for the kind of assault she suffered. Except you're privy to a more detailed account than the one here presented, the party that ought to bend the knee in apology is the man, who did not only wrong his wife, but also violated the psychological wellbeing of his children. A wrongdoing cannot be corrected by another wrongdoing. Someone absolutely different from the wife needs to call the man to order.

It's not a justification but still a reason. That person has a point.

We can give OP the benefit of the doubt that she "politely asked him To go and change" but if she knows that her tone was disrespectful then that's another angle.

Wettoid123:
After the beating you still clean urself up to attend the party hmmmmmm na so you love party even you went there alone without your husband after the beating,, you don't have self pride at all and your husband can never respect you!

You are not saying the right thing sir.

If she wants to go somewhere and the husband has not disapproved of her movement she can go. You want her to stay inside wallowing and crying that the shameless dude who doesn't know how to express himself like an adult wanted to finish her

If she was willing and felt that she was able to honour the invitation and continue with her plans for the evening then you have no right to condemn her.

How can you complain that she cleaned herself up? Remember that the crazy guy even left without the kids. How will it look for them on Christmas day if she just sits on the floor holding her face?

I don't understand what point you are trying to make but it's sounding somehow.

Lol, crazy people. Somebody wanted to wear jeans and polo to dinner and you people say I should allow him lie lie nobody should embarrass anybody in the name of"I do" oo I dont know what some people are writing

If he doesn't want to change then why not say so instead of slapping abacha out of the woman Some people just like to wake up from siesta and type rubbish

MetaPhysical:
Thanks for teaching me that. Now I know!

You're welcome

AfroKnight:
The OP is living with someone that has kept his anger in check for too long and one day (in her own words) he snapped.

Why?

I suspect the words were not the trigger here, but the tone with which she uttered those words. For example, I could say to you “Wow! That’s such a wise thing to do!” And you’d feel so insulted and humiliated by my tone. While that doesn’t give him the right (in my books) to hit her, it is a valid cause for a reaction from him. And it is not something that started on Christmas Day. It had been building up.

If you keep hitting that nerve, you don’t know what you’d unearth.

I agree with your speculation; he has probably been angry with her for quite a while.

But I think it's up to him to make his feelings known...how can you get so wound up to the point where literally anything the person says blows you up

It's not healthy at all...

Anyway we still don't have enough information. The OP is still in danger going by this incident alone

MariaAngeles:
I admire your patience, I swear!
Including @Thebutterfly
How do you guys do it ? Nothing gets to you, and you both still take the time to address some irrational comments .

Lol! I didn't see his comment as being totally irrational..I got where he was coming from but the timing of such an action would be inappropriate in this case

Enwhen:
How do u expect that kinda of person to beg, it is clear he is not in a stable mental state... He is being depressed or being manipulated , and she must act fast , before the madness push him to pack her loads out that she is a witch... I have seen many of such , that man is in a serious problem, he needs help

Exactly but since the sound of her voice is already enough to send him mad, its better if she leaves and comes back later.

The guy is not all right; the begging might annoy him even more.

She should just totally avoid him before he snaps and causes her a serious injury.

saajus:
I don't see any problem with that. Anybody can hold an umbrella for anybody. The question is, can Ayade reciprocate that respect his deputy gave him.

I stand to be corrected but I can only understand it if its a traditional ruler and his subject...he mustnt show his respect in such a manner

Nwaonyishi69:
Does it make sense that an elder, your deputy or anybody is holding an umbrella for you? Are your hands off? We make mountains out of hips of rubbish in this nation.

Very bad. I would be ashamed to take such a photo.

Nobody should hold umbrella for anybody ooo it reeks of sycophancy, in fact it seems both of them have already sold Crossriver looking at that single picture

Lamanii22:
Youruba people would say... "Pool yen ti GBA abode" the pool has abhorred evil...

The whole thing is just tragic.

I have not yet read the post but I know that its totally preposterous for that guy to be holding that umbrella

bukatyne:
Chai!

Before my family think I am crazy here.

Hm! I no fit even laugh.

It would be better if before marrying, we could find out if some of them are real people or just reptiles in human skin ...Nawa