₦airaland Forum

Kokoebapluse:
I did not tell you that muslim follow culture in Bible, what's in Quran by all command is female should not display their beauty and they should cover their head till below their breast, what wrong in that dressing way? People may past away but God still remain the same Muslim women obey their creator not culture. Muslim woman don't dress to copy past but to obey commandments of Allah. So get that into your head

Rubbish...you mentioned Corinthians first...now that I have explained to you why Corinthians is irrelevant you are changing mouth...next time check the context before mentioning our precious Biblical Saints anyhow

Whatever 7th century practices you want to force on your ladies keep them there and dont bring Christianity into it abeg

daddytime:
Very sad indeed...

The innocent who know nothing of the politics end up being the dupes of the whole situation

And even the ones who get involved in the politics will still meet their own gruesome end...such is the genius of the Western powers

SoNature:
Iran should grow some balls and stop identification.

A soldier doesn't reveal his plans before striking.

Exactly, why is this information even public

daddytime:
Bizarre world politics which most times than not is difficult to comprehend or explained to the undiscerning.

When strongman Saddam was in charge in Iraq, which is an extension of Iran by proxy due to the majority Shites there, he was accused of suppressing, oppressing and killing his people, and was condemned to the gulag.

Now that America has helped exterminate him, created a vacuum which the Iranians are rightly filling by reason of their numbers and regional clout, America feels they can stop them from taking foothold of Iraq.

America has successfully rendered Iraq just like Libya ungovernable, a battleground for years to come, and a front to settle scores in the middle east. The citizens will bear the brunt of it all at the end of the day.

Them go kill tire....

They have been planning this stuff for years. Its unfortunate that innocent people carry the can.

But why do Shia'a wear their hijab like that Im always curious

Kokoebapluse:
I thought you Christian always claim that Bible was inspired by God why can't you accept and adopt what make women of Corinthians better?

I can see clearly Christian are just full of confusion people you see it in your Bible and you are here condemn people who follow that way,

Come are you normal?

What the Muslims have failed to understand is that human culture evolves and moves on and that culture varies around the world.

Thats why the Islamic golden age of science and mathematics crumbled and failed and the Islamic world today is in a state of utter cataclysm.

The modern-day meaning of modesty just means dressing to cover your sensitive parts and showing your femininity in a decent way. We dont live in a society where head covering means anything in particular so mentioning hijab here is out of point.

Thats like telling men not to tie wrapper because it resembles a skirt, does it make sense?

And anyway the Corinthians still wore their hairstyles, if you read the rest of that chapter. In that society, moving on low-cut or with your hair loose was a "green light" for wild sex. Like going on pant and bra on the main road.

So they had to tie their hair in a decent way to avoid being associated with that type of behaviour.

Different classes and tribes of women had different uses for head-covering and plus you have to go back and read about the pagan cults that were active in Corinth around that time otherwise you wont understand what that passage is actually talking about.

Its a cultural issue that is not directly related to salvation, so you really dont have any point.

This is what all these people keep failing to understand...you keep isolating cultural practices from ancient Judea, Rome and Greece without any context, coming to a debate in the 21st century and randomly mentioning it thinking that youre making a point when youre actually just saying nothing!

strungup79:
She didn't turn the children against me. She didn't buy land anywhere and she has never referred to me as irresponsible.

Chai...

Godsfavour78:
what of all these bundle of people your dad helped?

Of course, as soon as they realised that cash was no longer flowing, they all ran away! Are you not a Nigerian

Youre supposed to know the end of this kind of story by now.

Ilekokonit:
Thanks for your contribution above.

She doesn't know how the Western world of work works and the DETAILED scrutiny and checks - offline and online - that is carried out on EVERYONE who will work with vulnerable children and adults and she will not listen to advise that can protect her young career.

If she was content to stay put in Nigeria forever without travelling out to work in Western countries then fair enough but if you want to work as a Medic in Western countries you have to be open to all sort of scrutiny - offline and online.

I've got 2 Ex School mates who have their own successful General Medical Practice in America and search their names all you can on the internet and you will never find any social media trace and all that will be returned are pages that state their Medical Specialties and Practice address. Now that is being pre-emptively smart because the internet never forgets.

I disagree with almost everything you have said concerning this thread, but in this case, this comment is going to be very short because youre totally correct.

I really dont have anything to add but I hope she takes your advice, as in "dont shoot the messenger".

cooltola:
Still they violated her rights. Her head was covered well so her hair will not enter with food preparation. I work in a restaurant before so I know I am writing about. The law is the law whether employer agrees or do not agree in which they must comply and obey. And she has the right in which she went about it, it is called freedom of speech. She should hire lawyers and sue the restaurant for violating her rights.

Hijab is not for preventing hair from entering food, is it? That is what hairnet or cap is for.

Her human rights are nowhere; if she has an issue with her uniform she should have arranged an appointment with her manager, discussed it and let them tell her what colour and material to wear. You dont just show up to work wearing what you feel like and expect the manager to take it lightly. Its an affront to his authority. Doesnt Islam tell you to submit to authority

Theres nothing like freedom of speech here; she should have followed workplace protocol for bringing up an issue with your immediate superior. Then if the manager begins to misbehave, she would have some e-mails or something to buttress her claims.

If you worked in a restaurant before you should know that That hijab is not suitable for food preparation. Its not supposed to be hanging down like that. It can get caught in the kitchen equipment and kill her, it can go inside hot oil. It can brush on dirt and enter people's food.

If you go to any respectable corporate food outlet, nobody is wearing anything as untidy as that.

Stop defending rubbish just because youre a Muslim; Qur'an didnt tell you to do that.

Kokoebapluse:
Before I answer you, are you a Muslim or Christan? If you are a Christian you re a evil let forget about how people of old Testament use to dress, Paul also ssaid in new testament that woman should cover her head always go and read Corinthians very well. You re Muslim I think you re not well, Allah said in Quran that women should cover there beauty from head to below of breast, Now between Bible and Quran where Muslim go wrong if they cover head?

But if you are athiest then your problem is in another area and I can address you. If you want me to

Youre a very nonsensical creature, St. Paul was talking to the Corinthians and Corinthian culture which mandated covering the head for those women in particular to show their submission to their husbands and to God.

Corinth had a reputation for promoting a loose lifestyle and St Paul was telling the Christians there to keep a good image for themselves.

That teaching has nothing to do with hijab of today. You cant compare Greek people in their culture living thousands of years ago with what obtains for modesty in the 21st century.

Stop taking things out of context! It does not help you at all

MetaPhysical:
A muslim does not have to bear an Islamic name to worship Allah.

Colonialism has ended but some people continue to submit themselves, voluntarily, to colonization.

Afolake Ogunbambi
Ashake Ifadare
Ifayemi Awolowo

There is nothing in the Quran that says these names cannot worship Allah.

I just wrote a piece in culture section on this same issue.

Abubakar, Abdullahi, these names were given by idol worshippers before Arab accepted Islam. They continue to be given to Muslim children.

After accepting Islam, why didnt Arab stop bearing names that originated from worship of deities?

Interesting

sassysure:
She or he is high on emotions.
Emotions don't win in the law court.
Even absolved the dad of any wrong doing and busy happing on the new wife.

Na wa, how can you be talking off point inside your own topic? So what are those commenting supposed to do

Even me wey try defend am small, I tire o. Which emotion?

You and your mother are apparently starving to death and youre using your remaining data to type emotions...as for me o, I dont understand that one

I was expecting him/her to give that guy a very good answer and all we got was charm and mamiwater smh

cooltola:
A lot of people just jump into conclusions without knowing the facts.It is not as if she dresses in a seductive way. There are many Muslims in America and it is the us constitution not to discriminate against anyone religion. She has the right to wear hijab because the US law allows it that is why it is a big deal.

LegendHer0:
Hijab is her right, in as much as they don’t make it compulsory for her to wear it against her will, she is free to wear hijab as she want.

Its not about the hijab. Its the way she went about it. See how haphazardly she threw the scarf on her head. If you look at Islamic fashion there are so many nice styles you can use to tie that stuff and look good. She is just trying to provoke.

That hijab is not suitable for working in fast food with the way its dangling. Moreover the colour does not rhyme with the uniform. She didnt even try to blend it

She should have worn a grey or red hijab and used a short cloth that will look neat and professional and not with tassels that will be dipping in and out of the food and soiling everywhere

And she should have taken time out to consult with her manager and not announcing to everybody that she "will be wearing hijab soon" so that the manager wont feel like shes trying to take licence.

At least there are ways of doing things when dealing with human beings

fraymite:
I am sorry for you. May Allah strengthen you and provide a better means for you. What she used is even a scarf not hijab fa. May Allah strengthen your eeman because you're still young in Islamic faith to face persecution and discrimination.

Does the Iman of a Muslim include being stupid in the workplace Why didnt she discuss with her manager about how her hijab will comply with workplace regulation and food safety and hygiene beforehand?

What is persecution and discrimination there? What about "Al-Hikmah"?

Reffone:
I pray u don't come in contact with maimi water people does people do strong voodoo shits

You need to stop giving this kind of answer and say something practical otherwise people on the thread will keep giving answers you dont like.

Instead of you to explain what documents the woman has, what her business/income is like or outline what steps you have taken to assuage your mother's discomfort you dey here dey yarn mamiwater smh

Plead:
https://www.pressreader.com/nigeria/thisday/20170606/281702614683123

Cc safarigirl , cococandy , midnighter and logobenz

Im not sure why im tagged in your comment; I told the OP not to let his/her mother divorce.

We dont know what region the OP hails from to start talking about will or inheritance and anyway I dont know how the first son wont inherit the lions share after the mans demise, especially when the 2nd wife has no child of her own.

easiest:
Many commented negatively to this post after all he said, all points made in post made sense, he never said any bad word to anyone or any religion. I urge you commenter to read before persecuting him. Thanks

We read it, he is talking rubbish.

Logobenz:
I don't read meaningless books,I walk and talk reality.
My mom didn't ask for severance when she had her own mishap,since she had the capacity to take VERY GOOD CARE of all 7 of us,plus extended family join.
Weak women that can only survive on severance.
I spit on the senseless gang men...
If you don't know that the names of people you are attached to can open doors for a person with brains, whether the person gives them bread or not, then I'm afraid you are even dumber than the OP and her supporters.
Spits!
Feminists online,dependent retards in reality .
Smh....

You are literally an idiot, what does all that have to do with the fact that a man with a wife and children should be taking care of them?

What do you mean "whether the person gives them bread or not"? How is that negotiable?

If you want to advise that OP uses their fathers name as a springboard then its one thing but I dont see where all the insult is coming from since the fathers behaviour is in no way justified.

Logobenz:
Na em be say your papa no get the kind money you make us feel he has.
It is impossible to be a dependent of a "BIG MAN" and still be in the kind of lack you are talking about,whether he wants to give you or not.
Or you guys are complete idiots.
If he gives nothing,atleast his name gives you credibility which can be turned to money if the dependents have working brains.
I won't be surprised if you don't have a brain sha,since you can't convince your own mother to avoid ordinary divorce.
I really hate dull people tbh....
Smh.

You need to read Slaywifes diary to know that you are actually the biggest idiot in this thread.

What a confusion.

They kept arguing with me that Muslims only have 2 holidays and the rest are all fakes/bidaa

Now look at what your man is saying....he even wants to add Muharram just to compete with "infidels" instead of concentrating on the Sunna, so how can he be your leader?

Confused people

superlanny:
as far as he is not Yoruba, hausa or Igbo, the name is neutral, Take it or leave it.

Being from a minority tribe does not make the persons heritage meaningless. Its even more important that their own achievements are acknowledged in order to make them feel that they are being carried along.

Stop breeding inter-tribal tensions in a positive thread, please

POTUS9ja:
No profession is inferrior. so what will you say about the teacher that taught the doctor. Is he inferior to his student? who should be paid higher?

Again, you might one to argue that a doctor saves lives so their work is more important. I put it to you that a doctor is responsible for a life at a time. But an Engineer who builds the road, bridge or house; even one who is responsible for the electricity in your city.... Such Engineer is responsible for multitude of lives at once.

or should we talk about the bus driver or Pilot?

ALL PROFESSIONS ARE EQUAL .... If you ask me!

Its only natural that some professions should be more prestigious than others. Its part of human nature

The problem is when it makes people arrogant, which is also, unfortunately, part of human nature!

bekpo:
My dear, this can only b possible if d marriage was contracted under d law. As it is, the marriage was contracted under d native law n custom. Except she produce credible evidence to show that d investments were jointly owned. What if d second woman get him contract a marriage under d Act? She will loose out completely because d second woman hold better title. My advice: let her stay put if d man ain't violent on her or d kids, if he's violent on her or d kids, she should take that up with d authorities ASAP. 27 years of marriage ain't a jock.

Yeah. I think we are getting quite emotional in here. I want to know what papers and documents the woman actually has before she thinks of going anywhere

Otherwise the divorce stuff will just be rubbish. Especially if, like you said, the other lady was smart enough to get the man to sign something.

Fountainofyouth:
Pls buzz off, you're going in circles and still saying rubbish, comparing your wife with employees is stupidity in itself, how would someone says he loves someone enough to marry her, then decides that because she is a house wife, she isn't entitled to half? she took care of your kids, you, fvcked you constantly, things go awry, she doesn't deserve half but should be compensated? and the sacrifices she made by staying at home is nothing?rubbish.

And @bolded, why the fvck will you think fvcking her husband constantly means selling their bodies just to get compensated in the end? I am honestly trying not say my piece of mind to the mistake that is you, nonsense.

That guy is talking backwards but at the same time "half" exactly, split down the middle automatically is not logical. The OP should be a bit realistic

This is more about acknowledging their efforts as entities in the partnership. She is entitled to a substantial share not because she is like an "employee" but to reflect the fact that they both contributed something into their marital life

They have to sit down and work it out. This is why she needs to look at documentation, especially if they are only married under customary law.

Otherwise she should just stay legally married to protect the childrens welfare and the elder children/mothers side should offer some support. Separation has more benefits than outright divorce in some ways since it keeps you "in the loop"

Lol we are all talking too much the lawyers aff hands-off the matter

I am actually interested in the legal implications of this kind of case. All I know is that once the man drives you away, thats it

I want to learn

CorperKola:
Yeah
Maybe we disagree on the degree of contribution
If the time spent in the marriage is long
And she is entirely helpless finacially
Then shes entitled to some income from me or assets
To say half is jst insulting and unfair to millions of actual workers all over the world

I modified my original comment; your comparison to "actual workers" is totally invalid.

Anyway though your reasoning is mixed up, you have the right idea. She is still entitled to some support, that we can agree on.

madridsta007:
Hehehe.
I am a happily single man, Oga. Stayed off ladies to fulfil purpose. I’ve written a passage about it before. Now we’ve gotten that out of the way, let’s critique your statement.

The experiences I’ve described are experiences from my friends. Persons I know like the back of my hand.

I tried to use the words, “may”, “likely”, “largely”, “less risky”, to suggest that my arguments was not a 100%. This is basic. Nigerian youths in Houston or Atlanta aren’t known for their ingenuity in medicine or sports because they are a small majority in comparison to the larger majority known for 419.

I use words deliberately.

For every 2 foreign women who are lovely, there are 10 who are something else. If we want to be honest, we know this is true.

The OP asked SPECIFICALLY for a “homegrown Nigerian man”. We know what that means, again if we don’t want to pretend to ourselves. That description comes with its good and its “bad”. One of those “bad” is inflexibility. Nigerians are like the Asians in that respect. That is why, in a small community of Nigerians, you will have a shop that somehow sells African/Nigerian foods. When the European come to an African country they are flexible enough to try and manage to eat their hosts foods. Usually, the “homegrown” Nigerian or Asian won’t do that. That is why colonialism was easy for the white man. They will eat your food and drink your water as long as they get what they want— your land and allegiance.

Of course this inflexibility in itself isn’t bad. But it’s imperative we recognise that this inflexibility exists and isn’t just applied to feeding, for the “homegrown Nigeria man”. It applies to marriage as well.

I hope this is clear. Remove the construct “homegrown”, then we can be flexible and liberal with the outcomes you’ve described. Otherwise we are just deceiving people here.

NB: A peasant Nigerian woman often, are terrible characters when you bring them as marriage partners in the West. Again, from the experiences I know. If you want to get a Nigerian woman in Nigeria, ensure that she is exposed and more importantly is TEACHABLE and naturally HUMBLE.

Else, you are better off getting a non-Nigerian who lives with you in the West.

All youve stated here bears only passing relevance to that stuff you wrote in your first post.

It may all be true, but you havent refuted what I argued against initially which leaves me to conclude that my assertions were correct.

A "homegrown" Nigerian fellow who travels abroad and starts bowing and scraping and behaving in a timid and stupid manner will attract equally stupid "oyibo" who care nothing for his cultural background. I mean, that "salad and tomato" jibe totally exemplified the whole thing.

Did your friend tell the woman he wanted Eba and soup? Or he was just squeezing his face while chewing the lettuce and carrot before slipping out later to one downtown Nigerian dig Only to come after how many years and accuse the woman of "bullying" him? He bullied himself! Smh

What is the meaning of "inflexibility" here? There is a difference between traditionalism and backwardness, though the two concepts naturally overlap.

Again, if he behaves in a typically chauvinistic manner alien to societies in developed climes, then he cant expect the relationship to work and he'd better stick with his so-called "homegrown woman" who may even also have her eyes open and still call him to order!

There are Nigerian men who dont behave in a crazy or stupid manner towards women and have progressive mindsets, yet still stand by the Biblical principal of commanding respect and authority in their homes. Such an enlightened man would not have a problem with a well-intentioned foreign woman in that regard, though there may still be cultural differences to iron out.

My point is that its true that marriages between foreigners and native Nigerians are often difficult, but not for the reasons you described.

CorperKola:
I find it very baffling, really baffling how a woman who stayed at home taking care of children while i was building my business would after the business succeeds have the temerity to tell me she owns half
If i had hired a maid all those time, maybe she would say she is entitled to half of my business too. Its jst very funny

She may not own "half" outright, but she still contributed to your success, right?

The reason they say "half" is to codify her overall contribution to your development and not to suggest that she directly impacted your daily business decisions.

So comparing her to an employee in your shop is illogical since they were operating in totally different modes.

If your mother says "I am partially responsible for your success", will you disagree with her JUST because she did not physically come to your secondary school and teach you Mathematics ?

Why do people argue with backward logic on this platform

pressplay411:
The invader and daddy's new flame is more or less that, a temporary flame.
If mom can endure, let her endure and take solace in taking care of her kids and maybe some charitable service too.

Exactly, the man may even realise his mistake later and apologise. The kids should rally round and encourage their mum

It sounds like she is emotionally distressed above any other thing.

I dont think letting their mum go off into total penury just for the sake of it is too good, unless they know they can give her the best without their dads help or the mother is a business-minded person who can bounce back

Going by the info we have here I think she should separate and not divorce.

Is the other woman "manipulating" him financially too?

Does she have documentation showing her partial ownership of assets?

Does the man take care of the children irrespective of the marriage wahala?

Legally speaking, I dont know but generally she shouldnt go without coming to some sort of arrangement before she loses everything including the support for the 2 underage.

Not enough information!

GidiWoodsMan:
They are inducing the cloud masses to fall as rain in less flood-prone areas, before the winds move them into position over already flooded Jakarta

Thanks. This was the missing piece of information