₦airaland Forum

Olasyke:
Seems y'all import plaintain from the south. Hence why it's expensive.

Which kind import, no be within Nigeria dey grow am?

culf:
some men don't care I know lots of people that are married for years without changing name. the problem is when you want to travel out with your kid(s) I know someone that her visa application was turndown because her name and that of the kids are different.

Which embassy?

Tales by moonlight but a sweet read.

EmahBoss:
Did you get the job? Just curious and did you form any relationship or friendship from that incident?

Yeah, I got the job and she did say even if there was no more vacancy that she must get an opening for me ......I felt touched.

It reminds me of my own incident though not related but the feelings it generated. I showed up at a recruitment agency for a part time job, filled up the forms and waited to be called in for an interview by one of the consultants.

The consultant who interviewed me àsked me to repeat my home address, which I did and she was just starring at me then whispered "this can't be". She went on to tell me that when she and her husband relocated to the UK from Italy 17 years ago, they lived in my building and stayed in Flat 3.......and I was living in Flat 3 when I went for the job interview!

symbuul:
Dynadot is offering a little promo on .in at $0.99. Do well to grab a few.

And I just paid for a domain at GoDaddy as a "new" customer for £1.19 few hours ago.

symbuul:
#758

Not bad at all

symbuul:
First Sale Alert
BIN Price: $149 (strictly BIN, I love BINs).
S.P: $149.
Received $135 after commission, which I asked them to convert to GBP and send to my grey. They sent payment yesterday, it landed in my grey GBP this morning (received GBP111, after conversion).

Thanks to Almighty God.

God bless you my senior bosses and legends in the hustle;
Iykepromotions Gpexchange Sapiosexuality Fergusen ICauseTrouble Vikkoh Crazeworld Hiscraziness TherealMccain
And a host of others and legends that have gone awol, hand don dey pain me
Osas187 come and see oo I'll still do that stuff I promised you. Don't relent bro.

I didn't even know what made me pick this name, especially going as far as .co.uk extension. I learnt my lessons. And if you check well, name was just "detailing", no auto or car. Realized it after regging.

Did first outbound about two months ago, not even a single response. I almost wanted to just forget about the domain and move on.

Reduced price to $149 (can't remember the former price) and removed "make offer" and went on another round of outbounds day before yesterday, omoh I outbounded like a lunatic I received only one feedback (not interested) and less than 5minutes after that, that sweet mail from Dan. Been my first sale, the transaction went a bit slowly as a result of security checks as Dan termed it.

I used Google, Facebook and gmap to search for end users.
For those who haven't had their first sale, don't relent. Outbound and pray to anything or anyone you believe in. Prayer does magic. Lol.
Grace.

Thanks for your time.
Love, symbuul.

Congratulations.


What is grey's GBP rate to Naira?

Nice one.

holocron:
The OP is the one who has been ABANDONED by madam Wife and Child. If you step into the shade, do you expect the sun to follow you there to give you warmth. OP should provide upkeep if he can afford it. The onus to collect it should be the runaway wife, while providing access to the child at the instance of collection.

On the mental health issue, that's a matter of opinion. It can be a good coping mechanism to handle the trauma.

That qualifies as a unhealthy coping mechanism.

I didn't state OP abandoned his family but rather stated that the breakdown of a relationship that produced children, does not absolve a man of his responsibility towards his children.

Sad.

wowcatty:
The moment she married that man, she has said yes to sharing the man's problem and that includes the child.

A mother that could leave a special need toddler behind has a mental problem, you don't need an expert to tell you that. The bio mother is not in the picture now and no force on earth can make her take care of the child if she does not want to.

Maybe it's a good call for OP to divorce her husband. As long as she stays married to the man, that child is welcome to live with the dad and she must help in raising him/her. What use is the bio mother's obligation that can't be enforced? Even if OP leaves her husband, she can't force him to do anything for her own child either in Nigeria

The biological mother left the child with the father not because she is mentally disordered but it was a deliberate decision that arose from birth father's nonchalantly regarding the care of the child but focused on moving on with his life, got married and expecting a child from his wife while she is stuck with their child.

She also wants to move on in life, being able to go do other things with her life and moreover, if she is thinking getting married someday, how many Nigerian men would allow her to bring into marriage with her, a special needs child while the biological father is free from the stress of catering for the child.......if you intend getting involved with a woman at the level of marriage, will you accept her coming with her special needs child while the biological father is unbothered?

She did right thing leaving their child with her father, after all she is his blood. Now that the OP has left, I believe he is man enough to handle things on his own as he takes care of his dai

You need to visit some state's social welfare offices to see where provision for children who are products of intimate relationships that has packed up, are being negotiated.

Just have a baby and refuse to make provisions..... experience is the best teacher

That has been PMB's game plan.

While Nigeria is in a mess despite DSS' knowledge of security.

Sad.

wowcatty:
The OP is NOT a third party as long as she is legally married to the man, that is now her step child and she's responsible for the child too. Also, the biological mother of the child has already abandoned the child which is either due to poverty or mental illness.

The OP needs to step up and step into her new role or abandon her marriage to raise her own child alone too.

How can she not know about this before getting married when they didn't marry the same day they met? This is a whole child involved. Or is it just the 4 of them in that town?

It is the biological father and biological mother that are FIRST OBLIGATED to the child before OP, and both should be the ones to STEP UP as that child is the outcome of their generics not OP's, neither does she appear in the child's birth records.

The biological mother can not be excused neither the biological father as far a psychiatrist has not yet certified them as mentally unfit.

Even if the OP eventually gets divorced, the then ex-husband will still be obligated to their child or in all the divorce cases you have read here on Nairaland, have you ever read where the magistrate pronounced that since the woman has custody of the child/children, the man no longer have obligations towards their child/children?

holocron:
You have been advised not to go anywhere by those who have passed through it but it's unlikely you will heed it until you put your hand in the fire and gain experience first hand that it burns.

You won't listen but still: The best thing for you is to totally forget them and forge on with your life. Concentrate fully on your business or your career or whatever your life's mission is. If you have money to spare you can be sending her child upkeep. If you don't have just forget it and don't even stress yourself. Feel very free. The minute she walked out on you without your permission has absolved you of the child upkeep responsibility. It's up to her to upkeep the child. You can't be upkeeping a child and be labouring to have a say. They will use that child as a weapon to torture and ruin you. Find another woman, younger and more beautiful and have another child or children. Name the new ones the same name as the lost one(s). Rest assured that if you succeed and become successful in life, come what may, the lost ones will surely come back to claim the dividends of their paternity. But if you are a failure, everyone will deny you. OYO will be your lot. You won't accept this advice, but later you will regret not using it.

That a relationship/marriage ended and the child is with the mother, does not absolve the father of the child from providing for their child as they both work out on how to go about co-parenting , unless you can cite any law within Nigeria that backs your position on abandonment

Remarrying to have children with another woman in order to "name the new ones the same name as the lost one(s)" is a clear indication of mental health issues without the need for mental status examination.

wowcatty:
To all the fools saying the care of a toddler is too much because she's pregnant. Please put your money where your mouth is and together hire her a maid for a year. This shouldn't be out of reach for y'all considering your big mouth on how she shouldn't stress herself. Don't tell me that you just want her husband to toss the child or become a single mother herself.

The obligation of care of the child primarily lies on the biological father and the biological mother, who are still both alive and they must have to work out how best to take>{ care of that child between them, OP remains a third party.

Should the OP come with the child to our clinic where we work with children with neurodevelopmental disorders, we would tell her to contact the child's biological parents because for assessment,s there are questions only the biological parents can answer, unless they are both dead, incarcerated or clinically diagnosed as mentally unstable.

Sominablack:
Goodevening all, please I need mature advise from the house, my wife left my house for over three months now with my little daughter,though I am still taking care of my little daughter by sending upkeep.

Now my limit daughter is on holiday and called that I should come and visit her, and I ask her to give her mum the phone where I told her mum to come back with my daughter at least for the holiday or send my daughter to her parents (my wifes parent) where i can easily get access to her too.

But my wife said the state of security challenge in the road they will go through to do any of my wish above is a big issue that i should rather come since i am alone and they are two.

House is it advisable i visit for the sake of my daughter? Or what do I do for the sake of my daughters request this holiday?

Thanks for your input.

You and your wife are the only ones that truly know what your marriage has been like and I have no business probing into that direction.

Should your marriage end up in a divorce after you both have explored chances of reconciliation, in all you do NEVER EvER cut off from your daughter as there is need for you both to work out a workable co-parenting , where you both would set aside hurtful feelings generated by the other and focus on the wellbeing of the daughter you both share and that means you are tied to each other for life even if you both move one with other people.

Visitations need to be properly discussed and how to go about it, your daughter must be involved as you all factor in the security situation on the Nigerian roads which is being bedeviled by kidnapping and killings.

While you both sort out things, regularly have video calls with your daughter.....it helps.

fineboynl:
I have done a research and discovered that men that marry more than one wife live longer than men with one wife.

What could be the reason.

It might be a that he find peace and rest of mind in one of the women.

While you were conducting the research, didn't you get data from your respondents, who happen to be men who are married to more than one woman, to know the reason?

Mrsoft3:
Do not go anywhere I repeat don't go anywhere, take this from a man with same issue.

That you are having the same issues does not mean your family's dynamics is same as the OP's.

Zonefree:
Mercychen is not yet married. I believe she will change her cooking pattern when she marry. How can a sane woman cook soup without stockfish?

In today's Nigeria, what percentage of Nigerian families still consume stockfish?

Broda Muri

2023 will be interesting...

I hope he has already involved the police.

Wickedness. The Nigerian Police will soon get them arrested.

okoroemeka:
why are you worried and want to leave your husband because of such?can't you guys just go to motherless babies and hand the child over and zoom off,or just drop it at the gate of red Cross , motherless babies or home for orphans,my in-law has such disabled child that grew up to become a terror,it kills and eat chicken raw with her bare hands and teeth,pls volunteer and give up the disabled child,no matter it has human form and physique without a human soul can we really say such is a complete human being?it will be a question for intellects,wise men and theologists to answer.

When did being disabled translates to being without a soul?

Did your in-laws access professional interventions from the onset for their child?

cococandy:
That’s never the goal or an accomplishment. Why do you people stay obsessed with the marital status of women?

That is the socialization that is aimed at sustaining learned hopelessness in women, portraying how terrible it is "outside", that they are better off enduring whatever pain their marriage is causing them.

UjuJoan2:
You are beating a dead horse. The child needs her mother, yes. But her mother is not emotionally ready to handle her that, especially since she is all alone with no support from the child’s father.

You wouldn’t know, you’ve never been in those shoes.

The OP is not also emotionally ready to provide the special care the child needs

Eaglesence:
.

Send the child to her mum. That is what your husband should do

The mother has cared for her for 7 years while the father of the child has moved on to marry and expecting another child, so she has brought the child to the father so that she also can have the opportunity to move on with her own life.

ibechris:
My advice is this,let him buy a sperm from a donor and let him drug his wife by himself and insert the sperm into the wife.

This is doable!

Just advice him to do this instead of involving u.

Drug the wife and inseminate her with another man's sperm and all these without her consent...that is so very wrong!

And in the future should they have issues the man can boldly accuse her of infidelity and demand for a DNA test.....men would start screaming w.h.o.r.e.

Fiscus105:
U can't say that ooo, the lady might have been looking for life partner for decades. This one will be fight to finish ooo