mariahAngel:

That is why he can never trust you...even if he tries to.
That is the consequence/punishment for you for being disloyal to someone you were in a relationship with, and your husband's distrust of you is his burden for being a party to it.
In any relationship, loyalty is everything!

You should've ended the previous relationship before going into a new relationship with your eventual husband.

Hmmm, what's done is done ma'am and I don't believe in nevers.
Yes I acknowledge the part which our indiscretions together may have played in how mistrustful he is of me presently, but my husband isn't exactly a saint either. He's definitely cheated on one or two people before.

Now that I think of it, I should probably have that conversation with him

Thanks

SpeciMental:

Have a talk with him about it. Be direct. Ask him if he thinks you could ever cheat on him. Ask why whether yes or no. Ask him if he's ever been cheated on and how often - could be the cause of his fears. With the info, find the cause of his fears and act accordingly.
Then go all out to prove your commitment to fidelity:
Ask him to record you(both audio and video) saying that "he should never forgive you if you're ever guilty of infidelity and should send you back to your parent's house without mercy immediately while also paying a greater percentage(80%) of your total savings/assets for emotional damages on him and your kids"
Tell him you also demand he does a paternity test on all your kids.
Commit to brief him on each day's outing schedule and if any changes come up, always be first to notify him.
Start with these first and watch his reaction. As for you, with these in place, even your favourite vilest demons will be afraid to tempt you to ever do anything stupid.

Lmfao. Thanks, but this was funny.

I already brief him about my daily activities, I've been doing that now more than before just to see if he chills. Some days, it works, but other days he's back to the usual suspicions.

bukatyne:


Hello Missjo:

Most times, experiences (others & ours) form our template to resolve or tackle issues.

Ideally, we should be whole before we marry however, it doesn't happen that way so people still being previous baggage into their new relationship.

You love your husband, do you know him?

Do you have an idea of his experiences from after secondary school till you met him? Was he jilted? Cheated on? Saw his mother or another woman he trusted cheat? Is he the 'fear women' crew because of what he has seen? Did his parents give more attention to his siblings? Was there any reason for him to feel inadequate to his mates? Does he feel you deserve better than him? Any idea how he was in school? What are his opinions on the DNA issues and women sleep around stories flying?

Therapy should be the last resort:

Ask him why he doesn't trust you or why he thinks you can cheat on him.

Na, he doesn't think you have cheated yet. Your husband is trying to prevent you from 'cheating' by giving you 'close marking'. The question is why? What is he afraid of?

Are you drop dead stunning that men actually want to sleep with you? It is also possible that men around you would want to sleep with you which he can sense. Do you also unconsciously sense their interest and flirt with them? Enjoy the attention?

Or in casual comments, are your type of men consistently opposite to features he possess? Of he is fair and lanky and you keep drooling over dark hunks in movies and real life, he might begin to assume he is not your original spec (you left an abusive relationship for him; hello rebound) and you taste your spec when opportuned. All the men he 'suspects', do they have common features?

Apart from his lack of trust, is he generally loving?

Also pray for wisdom to handle the issue.

Get to understand what his fears really are and tackle it from there.

Goodluck.

Wow there's a lot to respond to here

He is the kind of man you would call a ladies man, meaning he's the one who would have been cheating, not cheated on. I have joked about that a lot with him. Also has a big ego on him too, so I'm not sure if he feels inadequate

I have asked him why he suspects me, his answer is always the same. I don't suspect you, I'm only being protective.

He says he is afraid of losing me, that's why he constantly does what he does. Personally, I don't think he rates me at all, like why would I start having an affair with a coworker just like that?

I don't flirt at all, most people on first impression think I'm snobbish and unfriendly, especially men. I don't know about being stunning but I'm okay, lol.
Yes I enjoy the attention, doesn't mean I show that I do. Single word answers are what I'm known for, my friends are tired of me cos of it.

He is my spec, real life spec. Movie spec is different, very few men actually look like those hunkies in the movies.

He wasn't really a rebound, I was still in that relationship when we first started chilling and doing stuff. You could say I cheated on my ex with him, hard to admit but it's what it is.

He is extremely loving, he is also nuts but he's that kind of nuts that pisses me off then has me loving up afterwards.

Thanks a whole lot for your response. My only worry is that one of these days, he gonna use his suspicions as an excuse to get some.
I might finally consider talking therapy to him, see what he says.

sherylbaky:
U have the answer urself, therapy is the only way out. The worst people on earth to deal with are those with emotional problem. Ur husband seems to have some underlying emotional issue. I'm just surprised u didn't notice all these b4 marriage, he wud have shown u who he is. That's by the way now tho.

U don't need to convince him to trust u cos no matter how much you try, it won't work. It is as a result of his past or childhood. Just try and convince him to meet a therapist and mind u, don't meet marriage counselor cos it won't help, they cut trees on top leaving the root.

He needs a psychologist.

Hmmmm

freetheking:
My dear sister,I can feel your pain. I can as well see what you are going through but then marriage is not a child's play. For my 14 years in marriage I have seen so many things as a man, but I decide not to involve third party to settle any issue I have with my wife. Just resently my beautiful wife told me that she doesn't love me anylonger and I ask her what I must I done wrong and she said nothing just that she doesn't know what is wrong with her. The next thing I did was to go to God and of a truth God answered my prayers today is like we just met yesterday as husband and wife. What am I saying,go to God in prayers and He will build the trust once again. Man can't bring solution to any marriage because it was oreginated by God. May you find peace, love and trust in your once again.

Thanks

Hello all, as shown in the topic, what I need most in my marriage is trust.
My husband does not not trust me, he's extremely suspicious of me. At first, it was flattering seeing him show his insecurities by being protective and wanting to know where I am and who I'm with all the time. But I can take it no more cos of the way he keeps mentioning specific names of men he thinks I'm having something with.

To give you a bit of context, this is a summary of our marriage.

By the time I and my husband met, I was in a relationship with someone else. He didn't mind and we clicked mostly because we were classmates from way back. I instantly fell for him and it was easy for me to fall in love probably because the relationship I was in at the time was on shaky ground, we were always fighting.
I found peace with my current husband when he showed genuine interest and we developed our friendship, and that led us to where we are now as a married couple.

Now I'm not stupid, my mind tells me that perhaps at the back of his mind, he feels that if I was able to leave my previous relationship to be with him, then I can do the same to him. This is what I'm thinking, but I also believe there's more to what may be going on in his own mind.
Missing his calls always becomes an issue, he has this attitude of calling me on video immediately after I tell him where I am and then he would insist I pan out the camera angle to show him around.
He has gone as far as mentioning the name of two coworkers of mine, and makes jokes that insinuate I'm having a secret affair.

I love this man, and I would not cheat on him. He makes me swear and make promises to him all the time and frankly, I'm tired of swearing for someone who just won't get that he's got me and won't lose me. It's gotten to the point that his continuous suspicions of my coworkers have made me start noticing them in ways I shouldn't have. I honestly started watching them more just to understand why my husband would ever assume I can be interested in them.

I want him to trust me, I need his trust, but I have run out of things to do on my own. I was going to suggest couple's therapy to him, but I'm so not ready for one of his long speeches.
I just want to do all I can to build the trust and if it don't work, then I can be bold enough to suggest therapy as a last resort.

ednut1:
The bible writer should have mentioned it but they didn't. They knew they would be found out as eqyptians kept receipts. The is also no evidence of slaves being chased out of Egypt it would have been a suicide mission. The bible is no different to Oduduwa failing from heaven tales

Hello!
If you will, please do some research on this Egyptian word Apiru/Habiru/Hapiru/Aperu.

Same words, just different spellings depending on source material. Basically means slaves/outcasts.

And no, Google is never enough

CAPSLOCKED:

THE JEWS AND ISRAELITES EVEN REJECT THE STORY. THEY'VE LONG APOLOGIZED TO EGYPT ON BEHALF OF THE AUTHORS OF THIS LIE.

THE EGYPTIANS (SO CALLED SLAVE MASTERS) REJECT THIS STORY AS THEY HAVE NO RECORD OF THE EVENTS THAT HAPPENED.
THE ISRAELITES (SO CALLED SLAVES) REJECT THIS STORY AS THEY WERE NEVER ENSLAVED BY ANYONE.

GUESS WHO ARGUE THAT THE EGYPTIANS AND ISRAELITES ARE WRONG?
CHRISTIANS IN NIGERIA, THAT ARE NEITHER ISRAELITES NOR EGYPTIANS.

I do not intend to make you appear purposefully ignorant, but don't you consider yourself a bit funny typing the above texts in bold with so much ferociousness?

There is a Jewish public holiday called Pesach (The Passover) which is celebrated by all Jews around the world, everyone knows this, everyone except you it seems.

So if you claim that the Jews have rejected the story of their enslavement in Egypt, do pray tell, what is this Passover they are still celebrating every year worldwide?

Don't answer

mimicherry:
She already said she has no intention of convincing you
And what you believe is up to you so

You are just wasting your time

Lol

CosmicPhoenix:

there's no historical or archeological evidence to show Rameses II was the biblical Pharaoh, I dare you to show us here.



The figure of Moses is well-known:
Yet, outside of biblical scripture, there is next to no evidence in the archaeological and historical record of Moses's existence. There is no exact time frame for when the events of Exodus may have occurred -- with scholarly conjecture spanning more than half a millennium. Nor do we know the identity of the villainous Pharaoh in the Bible, cast in films repeatedly as Ramesses II. That pharaoh is famed for his conquests and building projects. But in their digs and readings of inscriptions and papyrus, historians have found no trace of Moses under Ramesses's reign

Oh dear. I have no intention to convince you, what you believe is up to you. But perhaps if you stripped yourself of your denial for a wee bit, you might actually start to consider what I already posted above to be the proof you need.

I specifically put in bold certain words like Aperu (research on this on your own). Also, the store city mentioned in that scriptural verse called Rameses is named after the Pharaoh who commissioned the Aperu (Hebrew) to build it.

You ought to know that Pharaohs were known to give their names to cities built during their reign, they would typically make it the capital from whence they ruled. Other examples of such cities named after the Pharaoh who built them include Memphis, Akhetaten, Tanis, Mendes, etc

The connection you require using that verse, is that for a city which was built by the Israelites as slaves in the book of Exodus, it follows that the Pharaoh who was ruling at that time had to be a Rameses for the city to be called Rameses.
And furthermore from Egyptian history, there was only one Rameses who used the Aperu(Hebrew) slave labour to build monuments, this was Rameses II. He was responsible for building a greater percentage of all Egyptian monuments than any other Pharaoh that ever ruled because he had slave labour (Hebrews) to accomplish it.

CosmicPhoenix:

the ancient egyptians were known to keep historical records of all their activities, that's why in the bible the name of the pharaoh that enslaved the israelites was never mentioned because the ancient egyptians had no record of such and the lie would have been too obvious.

missjo:

The Egyptian Pharoah who was ruling at the time of Israel's captivity, his name was Rameses. Egyptian records mention that there was a subject race used to do labour (building cities, pyramids, monuments) called Aperu. This word is the Egyptian equivalent for Hebrews.

To confirm from the bible:

Exodus 1:11 New International Version (NIV)
11 So they put slave masters over them to oppress them with forced labor, and they built Pithom and Rameses as store cities for Pharaoh.

In Egypitian records, the Aperu built for Rameses a new city where he situated a new magnificent palace after he ascended the throne.

Rameses II, specifically.

Cayman

How realistic is this?

daddytime:
It is well.

Some other people have their reservations about iconing and revering Ghandi who they claim has some obviously hidden bad sides to his life and times.

Nelson Mandela had bad sides too

thesicilian:
Mother Nature will be on her own jeje, humans will go and be looking for her trouble. Beautiful and innovative concept, though risky.

How is this risky?

Frogs and toads also look so much alike, and many people do confuse them for each other.

If you have to ask, then it's best you don't do it.

Your doubts and uneasiness will make it too painful for her cos you're not in the right frame of mind to deflower her or any girl for that matter.

Wow, you mean they got more money from the bank than what they tried to disinfect.
Is this what happened, or do my eyes deceive me?

kingxsamz:
Wait o...
If Adam and Eve did bad by eating the fruit, why did god now punish them since they never had the knowledge of good and bad?
How would they have known that disobeying God by eating the fruit would be bad since they can't tell good from bad?

One doesn't need to know or have a previous experience of the full consequences of their action before obeying an instruction.

All they had to do was obey since they knew no better.

I'm not sure what to make of this

budaatum:

I knew nothing about Android One programme.
Thanks.

My pleasure Buda

tolukem:
My Advice for ladies in their 20s....take a chance on your self, be ambitious and earn your own keep, Have fun in a controlled and safe manner , except you can hold alcohol, don't drink especially at parties. Don't build your life around a man.... use your head when picking a life partner, your heart will get you in trouble. know the difference between a boyfriend, a fiance and an husband and treat the man as such and act accordingly. Be very mindful about the people you associate with it can make or break you.

I love this

budaatum:

Nokia 8.3 5G sounds good.

Any recommendations?

8.3 is a good choice, really good.

Honestly, any mid-range or flagship device from Nokia is good. My personal tip for you though is to pick Nokia devices that are branded under the Android One programme. The updates for these come early

Have you researched Nokia devices, Buda?

Explorers:


Norway.
Iceland.

Your top two?

UjuJoan2:
My only concern is who this 'C' is. It is Crackhaus?

My only advice is to love yourself more!

You're joking right? I'm about to inform him of this

Seriously tho, can't be him.
Wrong age, wrong ethnicity

Visiting this country is high up on my bucket list. Beautiful

budaatum:
Something!

Haha

Tags/movements have always been disturbing. Too many moving parts makes it hard for them to maintain cohesiveness and uniformity of purpose and vision.

I don't need to belong to a BLM movement to know that black lives matter, just as all lives should.

I don't need to belong to a feminist movement to know that women's rights matter, just as every human's right should.

Etc. Etc.

Kobojunkie:
Actually, according to Joshua's own words, God had something to do with it.

Something Noah never said when He cursed his grandson.
Being in communication with God does not automagically give one power to do as one chooses. It has to be according to the Will of God, or else, nothing.

So you are saying "Jeremiah" made it up?
I don't believe He would have stated it so if it wasn't so. For you see, God's prophets are not meant to lie, even on behalf of God Himself!
What Ham did was no sin. What Noah did was not right at all. And what eventually happened had nothing to do with Noah's curse but God's command and Will, as is documented.
What actual proof is there that Elisha did indeed get a "double portion" of Elijah's anointing?
Oh, I am still here!

Nope, Jeremiah didn't make anything up. I specifically noted that he was 'wise' to have noted that part, especially when you consider that the person he was writing about lived hundreds of years before him.

We've moved past Noah and Ham. You simply don't want to believe that some events in the bible were a fulfillment of previous blessings/curses, lol.

Proof that Elisha got a double portion? Well if we are to be literal, Elisha did perform more miracles than his master before him. The Bible records eight for Elijah and double that amount for Elisha.
Figuratively however, the term "double portion" in Jewish culture refers to the blessing of the firstborn. Elisha was not a prophet, he was more like an underling to Elijah. There were higher prophets in Israel that could very well have taken over the exalted post held by Elijah, but by granting the request of Elisha and leaving his cloak to him, he effectively promoted him above all other prophets in Israel and made him his heir/firstborn.

Elisha became the head of the school of Prophets both in his resident northern kingdom and the southern kingdom of Israel after Elijah's passing, something which Elijah himself didn't quite accomplish because he was the quiet loner type, never really involving himself in politics.
So while we can view the double portion as figurative, it is also very literal seeing that every specific miracle which Elijah performed, Elisha also did some but in a much greater magnitude than his predecessor. Not forgetting also the doubling in number when counting the miracles of both prophets.

She never truly loved him, and this is a major problem with our generation - people are ultimately looking out for what they'll gain from their partners but masking all that selfish desire with claims of being in love.

Gosh so many of us would fail this test if we were to find ourselves in the same situation, so while I'm critical of her, I'm also critical of myself because I don't know if I'll be any better.