₦airaland Forum

Onegai:
I told her to go and open it yesterday so she only got that message last night and replied it. Good girl! No, no-one should follow her. It's not hard or challenging. I don't really want too much sympathy poured directly on her, let her earn her praise. She'll be better for it.

Don't hold her hand, she can do this, she can fix this by herself and she will be happier.

tearoses and co, when I read her comment here, I laughed. I'm not angry at her, I totally expected her to petulantly lash out. Which is why I said "don't apologise if you don't mean it", because she doesn't and really we should not be shielding her too much. Not unless you're planning on doing it for the rest of your life.

Stop trying to hold her hand, guys. She's got this. Oh, yeah, she's gonna have relapses but that's just human. She is used to people saving her so she is incapable of saving herself and is constantly looking for someone to take care of her. So let her grow up. Don't pet her unless you know you're moving in with her to Igando.

Onegai:
This is a 26 year old mum who entered MMIA 2 and passed through Immigration, boarded a plane and went to SA to school o. Why is someone escorting her to the bank to give them a passport, 2 passport photos, a photocopy of NEPA bill and fill out the form? Is that hard?

Onegai:
Moji26, please decide if you wish to apologise or not, to Caveatemptor. Remember rule no.1: Don't apologise if you don't mean it. You can say the words when you do.

Mindfulness:
I know.

Mindfulness:
My brother is a professional athlete and he said that he has never heard guys talking like this even though he has heard them say stuff that women wouldn't want to hear. However, Trump's statements are sick. My brother's words. And if he was the one listening to a man talking like this, he would put him in his place because he has a mother, sisters and daughters and no man should be allowed to think and say that it's normal to kiss and 'grab women by their pvssy' without their consent.

Bloody pervert! Americans should be ashamed of letting him come this far. It has been obvious all of this time that he is not qualified to run for president. This is one of the disadvantages of democratic systems. I.diots have the same number of votes as smart, reasonable and educated people.

#notafanofHillary

sukkot:
So the black moon of september 30th in the western hemisphere will be activated by the hunters moon which is a supermoon on october16th. what does this all mean ? it means some huge and major calamity will overtake the USA this month. i dont know in which form it would take ( wars, disasters, a takeover from an outside force, race wars, etc etc ) but this huge calamity will cancel the USA elections and obama will get a 3rd term presidency.

CFCman:
2 women have now come forward to say that Trump groped/kissed them inappropriately.

One of the women said she was groped 35 yrs ago in the first-class compartment of a plane. That Trump put his hand under her skirt.

The second lady is alleging that Trump kissed her without her consent.

armyofone:
Why is Donald Trump making this election a do or die thing ?
Is it because he thinks his road to be more wealthy is at stake?
I haven't seen any GOP go so low like he is doing.
I'm missing Romney, such gentle man.

vioment:
Russia is making noise; They are just a higher version of north korea(* see I as use small letters on top them matter - I mean am).
They(Russia) is trying to stir the pot of the world, but they are stirring without better solutions to the world. A very selfish nation and a very racist with impunity nation, if you ask me. They are an intelligent nation as a whole, but their leadership ideology - lacks creativity or innovation. There is nothing different from their leadership which reflects their populace most times, and African leadership, except for crazy weapons and more of better roads and power supply than many parts of Africa. They have no conscience.
Russia doesn't care about your country oppressing you, like major crackdowns or what ever or your well being if they are better than you; they just care about their own all the time almost like China, but China is a lot savvier than Russia economically. I don't feel like getting into the large differences between Russia and the USA alone or against other NATO members.


In terms of actual war though, hmm, no be mouth, Russia, China, north korea, iran, for the MOST parts will be a complete disaster zone in a matter of 2 months. For whatever technology(or-(gies) ) that Russia has, the USA alone and one other NATO country has it, and lots of times the ratio is 1 is to :10. Let there be no mistake about that. The United States of America would lead the general saner world back to sanity. It is sad that many will have to go like 90% on one side( Russia, China, and co.). Let's not be mistaken it is 80% Putin like Trump, Egomaniacs just like their idols - hitler, mao, stalin, etc. erratic ganstas in power. Just remember that "evil will reign supreme if the good do nothing about it" - vioment.

*During the cold war, the United States was prepared for the Soviets, Chinese, Iran, and North korea and a few non threatening others. Now, we have Russia instead of Soviet union. A lot manageable if you ask me. When the soviets broke up, the USA turned that country upside down searching and documenting their weapons program; even storing some of them. Russia by itself or with its partners is no match. There will be no mercy during the bombardment. Thank God say three of them dey one place, Russia, north korea, and china, so that the missles go get one major direction with overwhelming force.

I will be posting a couple of the USA's arsenal for display purposes.

mojeer678:
Let me help you with this:

Radiation will not hurt your food storage
I have extensive nuclear and electronics training, and the following post is accurate. It also ended up being about a lot more than just food.
If we get nuked, and your food storage ends up getting exposed to radioactive dust, or is left in a high radiation zone for a long time, do not worry AT ALL if it is in sealed boxes or other containers the dust cannot get into. No matter how much radiation your food gets exposed to, as long as the actual radioactive materials do not end up mixed with the food itself, the food will be safe.

Unopened tuna in a nuclear dust dune? SAFE. If you can get it out and clean the can before opening it, it will be SAFE. Pack of bagged noodles with nuclear dust on it? SAFE, and guaranteed 100 percent safe if you can squeeze the bag and feel it holds the air in. Wash the bag before opening it, dump the noodles, and have dinner. DITTO FOR EVERYTHING ELSE.

Any radiation the food is exposed to will pass right through it and be gone instantly, forever. The key is making sure you never eat or breathe any of the dust.

Obviously if you have seeds for planting after everything settles down, those have to be kept wherever you are hiding from the radiation because they are alive and will be damaged if they are not protected.

America does not have fallout shelters anymore (because the likes of Hillary want all the "deplorables" and "losers" dead,) so for the initial time after the blast you will have to be in the basement if you have one. Seeking the center of a wood framed house that has no basement will be pointless unless you make a safe zone out of filled water bottles and other items. The general rule is that a foot and a half of water will stop all radiation. That's a lot of water bottles. Absent enough bottles, anything you can put around you (sofas, chairs, books, (whatever) will help. Do it in the center of the house (or a place that has the most walls between you and the outside) on the GROUND FLOOR if there is no basement. If you have a stick built house with a basement, put those bottles on the floor above a corner you will hide in. Everything counts - all the furniture, clothes, tools, whatever you may have, (including your food storage) if you can get that above you it will help a lot. You won't need to stop ALL the radiation, for most people simply reducing the radiation will be enough. The worst, most dangerous part will be over in 3 days. Obviously if you can, wait a week or so before going out for the first time, and keep it short when you do.

And if you hear a stranger break in upstairs (where your food storage is, GO UPSTAIRS WITH YOUR GUN YOU HAD BETTER HAVE, AND DEAL WITH THEM EVEN IF IT IS DURING THE MOST DANGEROUS TIME AFTER A BLAST. They will almost definitely kill you if they broke in, there probably won't be a friendly discussion. Obviously your guns and ammo will be in your radiation safe zone, WITH YOU. And also, I don't need to say that for at least the first couple months, only go out of your safe area when you absolutely have to. (like, to clean the dust off that solar panel you ought to have, so you can at least watch videos and have music in your safe area. Now would be a good time to buy at least a small LED light bulb (the smaller the better if your panel is small.)

Your electronics will work.
Nuclear EMP killing modern electronics is BULLSHIT, there is no mathematical formula whatsoever that outputs an answer that says your flat screen will be dead that is going to be penned by anyone other than a doom freak who is totally unaware of the fact that the circuits in high tech devices have shunts everywhere that will render the type of EMP a nuke produces irrelevant. All modern devices have protection circuits to protect them from static electricity (which produces enormous high energy spikes) and these circuits will also shunt out an EMP from a nuke. It takes a dedicated EMP device to blow out modern electronics, and those have limited range. This is not the "unprotected mosfet 70's" and I am not guessing. Take a small LED flat screen TV and video player down to your safe area and a music player also so you won't get bored to death. If you can power them they will work. And remember, with any solar panel you HAVE TO have a battery because they will power absolutely nothing even when the sun is out if a battery is not there to prevent their output from collapsing. Hmm, Monopoly . . . . cards . . . . chess.

Important throw in - If you see the bomb go off and survive the initial blast, the radiation will not hit you right away. The atmosphere will block ALL hazardous radiation produced more than two miles away from you. You can see the blast and be safe, but when the dust comes you had better be ready, and you might not even see it. For a few people it will take faith to even believe there is a radiation threat. You probably will have a half hour to get everything you need to your shelter area if the bomb did not blow your windows out. If it DID blow your windows out, AT LEAST CLOSE THE DRAPES and blinds to help keep the dust out. I would not push any unsheltered time after a blast past a half hour, if you could see the blast the dust will arrive quickly and you will probably be working in the dark. You had better be at least partially prepared ahead of time.

There is a good chance the grid will be restored in many areas shortly after a nuclear attack. If the power comes back on, and a bomb went off anywhere near you it will not be a sign that all is clear, stay in the shelter anyway and enjoy the power. You might be receiving it from 1000 miles away, where people can still go outside. True, the grid was separated a couple years ago, but all the connections are still there and can be activated. Any grid downings after a limited nuclear strike will probably be temporary, because the lightning arresters will also protect the system against nuclear EMP, which is from an electrical distribution standpoint almost the same thing. The fact there is power won't mean jack with regard to radiation in your area, and if the attack is big enough, well, you can ignore this, the grid won't come back up.

Also - With the type of hazard you will have from the radiation, a simple single layer paper respirator over your mouth (like the doctors wear) will be enough, full blown gas masks are overkill in a nuclear war. Those are for gas attacks, which are much more of a challenge to filter. Obviously if that type of mask is all you have, USE IT. You only need to block the dust even if you can't see it, you need to block ALL OF IT. When you return to your house, Leave your shoes INSIDE, at the door, away from your shelter area. Have a layer of clothing you strip off and leave INSIDE, AT THE DOOR. Only shake things off OUTSIDE, before entering, NOT INSIDE. Obviously you will be smart enough to have all the windows and doors shut tightly. Leave the respirator AT THE DOOR, INSIDE, away from your shelter area. You will not notice you got too much radiation until it is too late, the effects are not immediate. And then you'll die. DO NOT go outside to play just because everything seems ok! In ALL CASES, if a nuke went off nearby you had better play it safe and stay in your shelter COMPLETELY for the first 3 days, and as much as possible for at least a month.

If Russia really does attack and it is not a false flag psy op, there is a chance your cell phone will still work after a nuclear strike until the batteries in the tower die. That won't take more than a few hours if people discover they can connect and jam all the lines so you had better be one of the people jamming the lines if you want to announce you are alive. Get it done and get off the phone so other people can announce they are alive. The land lines will probably all be completely blown out by EMP. You can forget those.

NEVER ANSWER THE DOOR, NO MATTER WHAT, EVEN IF YOU HEAR HELICOPTERS. If you don't need help, NEVER LET IT IN. Your shelter will be much better than a FEMA camp, beyond all doubt.

I might do a better report later. I rattled this one off. The "all Russians return home" announcement was enough to make me do a panic post and it is time for bed.

Yieldings:
You don't need to accomplish something that someone else already did and someone else doesn't have to accomplish something {impossible} in order for you to aim for it as well and/or consider it realistic. It's called 'creating your own path' and living your own life.

MizMyColi:
My inputs here might seem like I'm too lenient and patient, and maybe that's because no matter how good and "perfect" I have become today to those who truly know me, I haven't always been this way.

I have made my own share of mistakes. I have been at my worst too and it took God's patience, love and kind direction to be where I am. I cannot give what I did not receive.

Concerning Moji,
Most of us here keep referring to statements she made 2 years ago. We are more concerned with using the past to draw our conclusions, than the present.

Like Apostle Paul, I choose to leave those things that are behind and keep pressing forward towards the mark.

Is this me trying to claim that Moji is a changed person? No.

But take a look at this thread, compared to the old one, how many people has she talked back at?
The one person she mustered liver to attack, whom I believe is even more interested in her than I am - we all corrected her. Since then she has maintained her calm.
That is a step towards change, no matter how irrelevant it might seem in the grand scheme of things.

My perception of Moji is that she wants to change.

I can corroborate all that Thorpido said because she admitted all those to me and I told her to make sure she downloads them to him as she has told me.
She also mentioned that an NLer wishes to help her with account opening. I told her I would message him and communicate so that I can deduce his intentions. I am not spiting anyone, but we wouldn't want her falling into wrong hands.....though I feel the person in question means well, going by his contributions so far.

Most people on here mostly get to see me on my nice days. I can be caustic too o. As in, when I criticise here, you will think I'm born to do so....I try not to be that way most times because I have seen how effective it is to correct with a firm, yet, gentle spirit.

It is easy for us to give help to people who prove to us at every turn that they deserve it, but what about natural block heads and slow learners? What about those who will never learn at a pace we feel comfortable with? Is it okay to just give up on them and tell them to their faces how hopeless their cause is?

She talked about going with elders to beg her mum. She says she doesn't want to live with the man but her mum wants it that way and that is the bone of contention. I pray they find a way around that. I assured her that Thorpido is wise and that they can reach a resolution.

Moji has given ME the impression that she wants to change. Until she proves otherwise to me, I will keep doing what I can to help.

I urge everyone, especially Onegai, not to relent. I pray that it ends in praise. Amen.

thorpido:
I'll want her to get registered at a proper clinic for her ante-natal.She sees a traditional birth attendant at the moment(I no dey for abortion as some people suggested).

She has to work.The most objective thing to do for me will be for her to complete her training as a beautician and start something to earn an income.

thorpido:
Update.

I paid a visit to her house this morning as promised and met with the mother.

Long story short,it's a mother who is fed up with a daughter who has not learnt to take responsibility for her life in addition to making poor choices in life.She has also become unruly towards her mother which may have been borne out of frustration.
I got her to apologise to the mother and also pleaded with the mother to forgive her.She did and the mother accepted(though I know it's a work in progress).
There's an issue on ground however that will determine how they move forward- mother to daughter.The mom wants her to go back to the man she's pregnant for but she says she doesn't want the relationship anymore saying he's uncaring and abusive.

She didn't finish her period of apprentiship as a beautician because she couldn't complete her payment according to her.
She's not registered at a hospital for antenatal but once saw a traditional birth attendant and she has no money to even go back there now.
She admits she hasn't gotten a grip of her own life(I could see someone having psycological issues) and needs someone to put her right.She needs some form of therapy.

So familylanders,where do we go from here?

Cc:ifyalways,funjosh,Onegai,jaybee3,Mizmycoli.

thorpido:
I have been to her house twice and listened to other people who were present there.
She is a lady who doesn't have a grip on herself and has made bad choices which put her in her current situation. I'm not saying she's innocent but you know the proverb that says when you are down,people trample upon you.

veave:
i didn't even say asking her to sell the tab is right or wrong... no. Trust me when i tell you i do not even the best method to tackle this issue at hand. Commanding her doesn't feel right to me. Its my opinion. it doesn't even have to make any sense to you

sisisioge:
Lobatan! I was so expecting this a while ago. Well done! I'm sure if all have eventually contributed to your cause, one day they would be painted in the same light you've been painting your mother!

By the way, let me hint you one secret of this forum...it contains all the tiers of the society strata. There are some people you wouldn't have the liver to open foul mouth on should we all gather in the same room even if your eyes don tear pass kilode!

Good luck with your life dear...may God Himself help you set it right.

moji26:
infact,let onegai continue, let her continue to judge me as if her life is perfect, I never even tell her directly to give me money, it's who really want to help, some people are very good at castigating people even at d point dat they re dying, she has been calling me since, discussing with me about selling my tablet phones, I think she really ve problem with tablet phones, cos she fantasizes about having one, though I asked nairAlanders for help bt I dnt need all dis insult from her, she ve been insulting me since morning calling me on my phone, pls nairalanders, I take dis as a case of harassment, nobody here is perfect, I do everything I did in d past to care for my baby as my mum is not of support, so dnt blame me, and thorpido tanx vry much for d help u render to me, I pray u see someone too as a helper in life, my God will continue to bless u and ur family and never forget u, thorpido, thank u once again

pickabeau1:
Well that is life
Every decision has a consequence

Yieldings:
"I encourage hard work on realistic goals". I like that.

But even goals that seem far-fetched should be pursued. Always aim for the impossible.

Onegai:
You know what? All this is getting pretty annoying. Allow me to leave this young lady to you guys.

Jaybee3, thorpido and ifyalways, let us leave this matter, we have become monsters o. Abeg free this matter. To your tents o Israel And to think that I had called to say I was sleeping on mainland next week to go and see this babe.

Thorpido, getting rid of the tab is not about money, it's about her showing she's willing to do whatever it takes: let's start getting rid of all the things that are of the past. I'm not going to be an enabler to silly decisions and pet anybody till we see some progress. Get rid of the tab, beg her mum and then we start.

pickabeau1:
Having a child is enough in some cases to suspend one's drive in life

Two is a major challenge

She needs to start over with her mom

The child may be better off ... especially if adopted in a two person home

Steve jobs was raised by adoptive parents

tearoses:
Good morning and well done to everyone. Nairalanders are indeed caring.

My thoughts on the matter is to deal with this layer by layer. Start from the bottom and work the way up.
She has a roof and she has a mother so she is lucky.
Her mother loves her and that’s why she is still under that roof
A mothers love is unconditional, though can be strained sometimes a mother will always love her kid.

Moji needs not to only apologise to her mother & build bridges & to behave herself while under her mother’s roof, but she also needs to understand that her mother is her only hope for now and to stop being an ingrate.
She also has to understand that her choices are limited.
She has done things the wrong way, so she needs to expect peculiar results.
That’s just the plain truth.

Funny enough I don’t remember the story, I must be getting old LOL
But if what has been said is true then she needs to hear some hard truths.
It looks pretty bad, and only she can make a go of her life and only if she wants to.

The only thing that nairalanders can do at this point is to assist with reconciliation with her mother & to build that bridge between them and to educate/counsel moji on how she needs to change her life & to bounce back from all these bad choices.
It seems hard but if he is really serious she can still make something of her life but it’s up to her. No one can do that for her.
She needs to reach out before anyone can help her.
If she is sitting under a tree making braids, then she is better placed to be helped than someone who feels too big to hustle.

Please do not make her feel under pressure to abort or adopt. Only the mother of the baby has the right to decide if she wants an abortion and since she doesn’t want it, then that’s her right of choice.
Moji and Moji alone will deal with the guilt and aftermath of an abortion or adoption, so it has to be her decision only to do this.

I do pray that there is a happy ending for Moji, her mum and the innocent child/ren involved in all this.

CC caracta

pickabeau1:
Well done bro

Guidance and rehabilitation is what she needs not money

Is it possible to give that child up for adoption after birth

TV01:
I also recall OPs other post about her misadventure in SA. And, I don’t actually consider this to be a charitable case. She has a place to stay, and a wider family who she is with, and who posses some means.

But that’s me, I’m in no way seeking to inform what other people decide to do or not do in this case. The reason I’m here is because of the, without mincing words, nauseating way some of you think you can take dictate to this woman just because you may render some assistance.

What gives you the right to control her fertility, mandate she gives her child up for adoption, or forcefully has an abortion. Who died and didn’t rise again and made any of you God? Can you even hear yourselves?

She should marry a “mature man” and relocate to Ibadan? Is this farce? And then when she acts out the destructive behaviours and the marriage is strained or potentially fails, you’ll prescribe the “7 day, 4 step program to winning back your wife”?

I mean a liability is one thing, but a loose canon, something else entirely. Have you thought of lining up the “mature men” amongst your own kinfolk?

I guess the US coercing African countries to adopt “progressive gay-rights policies via aid and diplomatic pressure, is a good thing then?
Who made you arbiters?

If a man or group of men sat down to make decisions around womens reproduction based on criteria they considered suitable, you’d all be up in arms, yet here you are, crowing over a woman in a mes, even if it's self-inflicted?

What objective measures make you think you can mandate the measures you’ve forcefully presenting? Yet when we present no sex before marriage and intact biological homes, you rail against it and scream people are trying to impose their beliefs.

And you have all but judged her to nothingness. Yes she has, speaking delicately, been wayward and done things beyond the pale for most people, but that accords you no rights over her, or makes your anger righteous.

Neither does rendering assistance if you freely choose to do so. Be that financial or life mentoring. And Onegai, reading one or two of your post would actually suggest you may have an ulterior motive.


TV

Appleyard:
That's is exactly what I was trying to point out earlier on on this thread. Some of them who claimed to be Americans simply do not know how the outside world work, and that's why the accuse anyone of hating American because of its wealth and the lot more baldadash they can muster.

Yes, the British at times finds it difficult to cope with the extreme highhandedness of US foreign policy.

2dugged:
I have tried so hard to convince myself that maybe it's just my environment, maybe there are faithful married men in other parts of the country. 95 % of married Nigerian men cheat on their wives atleast once, while from the 5%, 3% have not cheated because the opportunity has not presented itself yet, and only 2% are actually faithful to their wives. I often hear statements like "men are naturally polygamous", a nairalander once said "if you can't bear your husband cheating on you,then don't get married", but I ask myself just how much do you have to bear?, a distant relative lost her life because her husband infected her with hiv, she knew he was philandering, but what could she do?,now both her and her husband are dead, it's been years, sometimes I see the kids and i just feel awful, if a man cheats, women have always have that big heart to forgive and move on,but when a man gives his wife disease, it means that man not only lacks self control but is STUPID as well

Mindfulness:
You can never uplift a person if you allow their plight to put you down. You can't get sick enough to help people heal and you can't get poor enough to make poor people rich so make sure you stay positive, only then you have something to give.

This is where 5minsmadness got me wrong. He thought that being selfish means forgetting others and not helping them but it only means that you have to take care of yourself FIRST and feel good so that you have something to share.

If someone's situation upsets you and makes you feel down, take your attention from it 'cause you are not helping. Re-energize and come back when you feel strong and good again.

TV01:
You are a plain-faced, brown-nosing dullard, who offers little more than nuisance value!

Do have a pleasant evening


TV

^{...I learn fast and l like this game}

Mindfulness:
It's not about opinion, it's about history and what the Bible is about. Have you never heard about the Crusades? The Crusades were a series of religious wars with the aim to set up Christian churches. As an African you should also know that the missionaries who Christianized huge parts of Africa were referring to the Bible when they came and referred to traditonally African religions as wrong and barabric. The passage that America's self-image is derived from is taken from the Bible.



Attack?

I have just educated you on what you failed to mention when you were celebrating China's foreign policies and you call it attack?
And what has the opposition to permanent UN Security Council of one's neighbor's (India and Japan) got to do with technological domination? Two entirely different things.



I love America? Drop that emotional rhetorics because you know nothing about me and stick to facts.

China can stop other countries from becoming permanent members and they do. And whether they do it alone or not is secondary. They seek dominance - not only technological - but of course you didn't know it.




I agree to some extent but I also believe that with power comes responsibility and if my government used chmeical gas against civilians, I would be glad if some other country intervened and you would probably be too if your family was affected.