₦airaland Forum

amaikama: so if theirs is a divine created union and it is in this same divine created union that brings sin which courtship spring up from we are now discussing!! every thing has a foundation!!! if u want to solve any problem,u go to the root of the problem...all the so-called courtship that is so perfect as we all think,how come we have marriages crumbling,cheaters every where? if u court ur wife/husband,the last thing that will be in ur mind it divorce or cheating..excerpt there is more to it dan miss the eye...mind u,i know courtship does not necessary mean happy marriage. if not knowing a woman/man u dont love still cheat/divorce and the one u said u love still cheat!! then something is defienately rong some where.

make i park as u talk!!!

simo4real: I totally disagree wt the poster, Courtship before marriage is still the best. How will you know the kind of person you want to involve ur self wt if not through courtship.I mate my wife to be during my year 1 in University we dated still we finished school went to service secure jobs now we finally want to break the silent of courtship on this coming sat 27th Oct to proclaim our love for each other in the presence of Almighty God.(I do I do sum tin)

stagger: I watched one of his programs in 2008 and I could immediately see through his charade. How can a man and woman live together without courtship?

That is like telling someone to enter a Boeing 737-300 without going to flying school. Both he and the aircraft will end up damaged goods. So it is with marriage without courtship.

qualified: Hmm, i was at one of his seminars in Ecumenical center Abuja, where he told us not to trust anyone even our spouses. He said one of d problems of marriages is Trust.
During question n answer section, i was among d 1st to come out and i asked how i shld not trust my spouse. He confused me d more.
I never went near his seminars after that day!

His teachings sef, i no fit shout sha

buhak: relationship before marriage is very good because the bible said by there fruit you shall know them not by there word.

dgregs336: Dat pastor dey crase Dat pastor dey crase

emilyone: I believe the pastor purposely said that to discourage young people from immorality under the disguise of courtship cus these days you hear young guys saying they cant just buy a car without test driving it.

striktlymi: Guy I really would love to agree with you on this but common sense would not permit me cause really what you have itemized really do not support sentiments for not courting. If you think that courting will lead to some of the things you have highlighted, don't you think that worse things would happen if there is no courtship? If you meet a lady on the way and tell her you want to marry her, won't you be surprised and a bit skeptical if she says 'yes'?

Some people are of the opinion that holy scripture is against courtship but this is not stated explicitly in the bible. Remember that when Joseph wanted to marry Mary, the families of both parties agreed to the union and when Joseph found out that she was with child, he wanted to let her go in-formerly. Doesn't this show that Joseph actually courted her and found out about the pregnancy?

Also remember that courtship is also meant for the people involved to get to know whether they are medically compatible. I have seen families suffer because their genotype was not a match. This has impacted negatively on the family life. Not courting to find out whether you guys are compatible would mean selfishness and not a care for your children. And in these days of HIV/AIDS, if you decide to marry someone under an hour, how would you know if the person is not HIV positive?

I believe the positive aspect of courting far outweighs the negative. Safe journey home thou.

striktlymi: Ills of not courting before marriage:

1) It's a typical sign of desperation and anything done out of desperation is hardly of God. God is patient!
2) It is tantamount to marrying a total stranger.
3) So called Christian brothers use it as a medium to deceiving unsuspecting sisters.
4) It can lead you to marrying a guy who is impotent.
5) One can marry a prostitute or someone who is gay without knowing.
6) It can lead to marrying someone whose genotype is not a match with yours.
7) It can lead to a cry of 'had I known'.
Not courting makes someone reckless and cheap.
9) It can lead someone to marrying a killer. There are so many dangerous people out there.
10) It can lead to so many other ills and disadvantages. Just think about it, if courting has its disadvantages what about not courting?

venibaby: courtship is very important cuz we r 4rm diff background n nids 2 study each oda.lets nt mak d mistakes of our fathers

striktlymi: Ills of not courting before marriage:

1) It's a typical sign of desperation and anything done out of desperation is hardly of God. God is patient!
2) It is tantamount to marrying a total stranger.
3) So called Christian brothers use it as a medium to deceiving unsuspecting sisters.
4) It can lead you to marrying a guy who is impotent.
5) One can marry a prostitute or someone who is gay without knowing.
6) It can lead to marrying someone whose genotype is not a match with yours.
7) It can lead to a cry of 'had I known'.
Not courting makes someone reckless and cheap.
9) It can lead someone to marrying a killer. There are so many dangerous people out there.
10) It can lead to so many other ills and disadvantages. Just think about it, if courting has its disadvantages what about not courting?

temiflex01: dts what u say in the name of xtianity to sisters in church, God said u r my wife abi? God is interesting anyway..I have a brother in my church dt followed thesame step has uhv advised..he&d lady are both in d usherin deprtment..he found interest in d lady, within few weeks, they made dr intention knwn to the pastor, and the pastor didnt oppose to it, like a month later dey got married in church. The lady is a nurse, after a yr&few monts of lookin for a child, he visit places to pray, one of d places he do visit to pray, he was givin a blessed water&d pastor advised her wife must drink out of it in some minutes tyme&join the prayer dey are abt doin wit one mind. the man nw ran to her wife place of work to give her the message, on gettin to her office@d hospital, thou he do visit frequently and the receptionist recognised him has one of dir nurse husband, so she ordered him to go check her wife somwhr inside, gettin in&openin one of the wards door, he found her wife under d doctor. It was later findings made him realise some workers of d hospital knw abt it, that they use to hv regular sex wit each other&they never told him wit all his regular visit. The only tin was to thank God for d man dt he finally found out who he married has wife. it was a situation dt threw d whole church in confusion, cos d case was brought to pastor in church. The only word d woman was sayin is dt d pastor forced d guy on her dt she did not love him. wht a woman the guy married&did a white wedding wit. I am not disappointed anyway, cos d union was too short, whn they met&get married is not up to 2monts or 2monts.
So in marriage situation i dont need to follow anybody, if u like quote bible frm today till 2morrow, give example of moses, abraham or solomon, ur pocket, blessed be unto the man that did it wit brain, those ones did it according to situations of life then&worked for them, I dont need to follow dir style, tins has changed, like it or not, u must change wit it. I will explore my brain&mind, dts y God gave it to us, not just to follow d way of all d prophets in d bible, we shld hv bin created sheep then, so we cld just follow follow no option. I will be in a minimum courtship of a year wit d lady, blend her to my taste@ least 60% before marriage. Its my choice! dont advise me on wht to do, do it for urself.
He that finds a wife found a good tin not He that was told how&listen to how to find a wife. Let me do it my own way, thnks!!

temiflex01: dts what u say in the name of xtianity to sisters in church, God said u r my wife abi? God is interesting anyway..I have a brother in my church dt followed thesame step has uhv advised..he&d lady are both in d usherin deprtment..he found interest in d lady, within few weeks, they made dr intention knwn to the pastor, and the pastor didnt oppose to it, like a month later dey got married in church. The lady is a nurse, after a yr&few monts of lookin for a child, he visit places to pray, one of d places he do visit to pray, he was givin a blessed water&d pastor advised her wife must drink out of it in some minutes tyme&join the prayer dey are abt doin wit one mind. the man nw ran to her wife place of work to give her the message, on gettin to her office@d hospital, thou he do visit frequently and the receptionist recognised him has one of dir nurse husband, so she ordered him to go check her wife somwhr inside, gettin in&openin one of the wards door, he found her wife under d doctor. It was later findings made him realise some workers of d hospital knw abt it, that they use to hv regular sex wit each other&they never told him wit all his regular visit. The only tin was to thank God for d man dt he finally found out who he married has wife. it was a situation dt threw d whole church in confusion, cos d case was brought to pastor in church. The only word d woman was sayin is dt d pastor forced d guy on her dt she did not love him. wht a woman the guy married&did a white wedding wit. I am not disappointed anyway, cos d union was too short, whn they met&get married is not up to 2monts or 2monts.
So in marriage situation i dont need to follow anybody, if u like quote bible frm today till 2morrow, give example of moses, abraham or solomon, ur pocket, blessed be unto the man that did it wit brain, those ones did it according to situations of life then&worked for them, I dont need to follow dir style, tins has changed, like it or not, u must change wit it. I will explore my brain&mind, dts y God gave it to us, not just to follow d way of all d prophets in d bible, we shld hv bin created sheep then, so we cld just follow follow no option. I will be in a minimum courtship of a year wit d lady, blend her to my taste@ least 60% before marriage. Its my choice! dont advise me on wht to do, do it for urself.
He that finds a wife found a good tin not He that was told how&listen to how to find a wife. Let me do it my own way, thnks!!
Ok bro.No one is forcing anything on any one here.It's obvious that what the bible says matters less to u cos you said if i klike i should quote everything in the bible that it does not matter.
Concerning the lady who was unfaithful to her husband,it does not mean becos she goes to church and for that reason she is a christian,no.Or for the mere fact that the pastor gave a nod to their union and wedded them does not make the pastor any less a man of God or the one responsible for the break up or the promiscuity of the lady in question.The guide lines i gave i never mentioned pastor but you,God and the partner in question. When you ask for God's direction,u will sure be guided and get married to a christian.When u eventually get married,it does not mean every thing will be all rosy but there will be challenges but for the lady to EASILY fall for infidelity, means she has got nothing of the trait of the holy spirit.If u engage in fornication now,marriage will not make you stop it,rather you will only be committing adultery cos u are married now.Go with the WORD and not the world or church ! The word should be all and all ! He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favour from the lord.Pls note,this saying is for BELIEVERS and not for un believers ! I'm not judging any man but that's what the scripture says ! The bible says:Do not be deceived,God is not mocked !
Follow ur heart as you said .May God bless you.

Ifilinwa: so then, how do i find out if me nd partner are compatible??

temiflex01: y wld u agree? becos he is a pastor, God gave all beings a mindset to discover yourself&knw wht suits u. Marriage aspect, u jst need ur mindset&pray to God. u dont hv to follow d idea dt worked 4 som1 else, it may not work for u.
Who also told u it wont change a thing, it wld definately reduce so many tins dt may hv gone haywire. dont be blindfolded by belifs. think!!

striktlymi: I am amazed that you still hold the view that courtship contradicts God's words when you are yet to give us a backing for your stands. The best you can do is tell us what your pastor told you or what your thoughts are. The claim that God is against courtship or that courtship contravenes God's teachings is totally unfounded.

goofie: i think courtship is necessary.

it is not about knowing the person completely but knowing that u cn live with his or her flaws.

jigwe101: I disagree. Courtship based on God's will is the best. God said do not be un equally yoked so how else are you going to know if someone is an authentic christian except through courtship. At least thats my view on it. I

striktlymi: If Joseph and Mary never courted, can you please explain how he found out about the pregnancy? And note that courtship can be done by either the individuals involved or the parents. The families of Joseph and Mary at the minimum sought each other's consent or in otherwise sought the affection and love of each other before they agreed to the arrangement. Joseph never saw Mary on the streets and walked up to her to say "O baby I want to marry you". The investigations and background check was done by the families of both of them and even at that, when Mary was of age Joseph still paid them a visit which would explain how he knew about the pregnancy.

striktlymi: How does this make a case for none courtship? And what make you think an attempt to get to know the one you are considering for marriage constitute a delay of the devil? A lot of so-called sisters have been deceived by guys who come to ask their hand in marriage with a blatant lie about receiving some inspiration from the spirit. Note that God does not inspire someone to meet another if he has not given the other person a favourable disposition to accepting the persons marriage proposal. You always revert to the bible but you have failed in all attempt to give us a scriptural backing for your stance. If you imply that courtship is devilish then give us your scriptural backing, otherwise it would be very good to leave scriptures out of it when you mention courtship.

striktlymi: How does this make a case for none courtship? And what make you think an attempt to get to know the one you are considering for marriage constitute a delay of the devil? A lot of so-called sisters have been deceived by guys who come to ask their hand in marriage with a blatant lie about receiving some inspiration from the spirit. Note that God does not inspire someone to meet another if he has not given the other person a favourable disposition to accepting the persons marriage proposal. You always revert to the bible but you have failed in all attempt to give us a scriptural backing for your stance. If you imply that courtship is devilish then give us your scriptural backing, otherwise it would be very good to leave scriptures out of it when you mention courtship.

striktlymi: If Joseph and Mary never courted, can you please explain how he found out about the pregnancy? And note that courtship can be done by either the individuals involved or the parents. The families of Joseph and Mary at the minimum sought each other's consent or in otherwise sought the affection and love of each other before they agreed to the arrangement. Joseph never saw Mary on the streets and walked up to her to say "O baby I want to marry you". The investigations and background check was done by the families of both of them and even at that, when Mary was of age Joseph still paid them a visit which would explain how he knew about the pregnancy.

kemifemi: Na so I tell my friend o. She say courtship no dey important. Her husband just dey panelbeat her like anything!
Now she knows better, she come dey tell me say if she had known, she for court d guy for like 1 year minimum.

dozymars: So you intend to see a woman u like today and marry her tomorrow. you can aswell stand on the street of lagos and pick her.

Its not enough for your physical eyes to desire a woman and want her, you also need your heart and spirit to accept her as the right person for you and this will take some time.

Dauchman: Dude you lie, wasn't it d same mary that was bethroted to Joseph. I hope u realize dey knew each oda not canaly b4 Mary gave birth to Jesus. You seem to misconstrue courtship as being sex b4 marriage. My parents courted b4 dey got married and after 65yrs dey r still rocking. Stop throwing your ignorance around.

berem: so because isaac didn't court rebekah,then I should go and jump into the lagoon? Is it my fault that they didn't court? This is the reason I don't go to church! When you hear messages from so called men of God,you go tire! Mtscheeeew!

onobi7: How old are you? You don see Rebekah or you be Isaac? What makes you think that what is documented in the Bible is the entirety of events at the time they met? It's a narrative and whoever wrote it was out to make a point. Carry Isaac and Rebekah put for Naija in 2012 and the tory go change! One ajeboh guy seeing a kpako lady walk into his father's compound . . .