₦airaland Forum

High on something?

Very nice post, Damiso
I'm sure someone/couple out there will have their life illuminated by that post

ALLELUIA! To the Most High

OP,

You sound so sad, I feel for you

The desire to lose weight has to come from within. You have been offered a variety of options to set that desire on fire, hope she gets there.
Once the desire sets in, she can start with her diet. Small changes can show quick results that will motivate her to continue till she starts working out. Eating less carbs and more fruits+vegetables can go a long way for someone as overweight as you make her sound.

Cooking with less oil, drinking just water, etc are all proven techniques.

We Naija women love our carbs and I think it's our biggest undoing, if you are not working out regularly; especially after kids.

@ Post

How anyone handles this depends on their background.

1) From what I was taught, you shouldn't even open the gifts while the person is still in your home
2) Anyone visiting you for an extended length of time (say, staying for an hour or more), should be offered food, even if they end up declining. Mind you, I was raised in an era when few people had phones so your visitors just showed up. If my Momma was raising me today and with the wide use of phones in Naija, anyone that called ahead would be guaranteed food.

Does that mean other positions are wrong? Not necessarily, it's just different perspectives.

Sparkle777: I ve been silently following this thread. Can I say,my hubby is also on the abusive side. I ve been receiving slaps from time to time,so when I finally got pregnant(yippy yeh). I became too careful wit my self. When he slapped me silly dat gave me severe hbp. I called my brothers to publicly beat shege out of him. One of the best tin i should have done since. He now avoids me like plague even swore never to touch me. Pls and pls to any abused wife,save money get agbero to mess up abusive hubby without his knowlegde. It will save ur life.

An abusive man is a bully. The only way to deal with a bully is face up to him. Glad you are no longer a victim.

@ OP

Wish I could read the whole thread, seems like one that could help a lot of people.

Depends on many factors -age, stage of marriage (early years, raising babies, older kids), your work/family schedules

For the 35-40 crowd, faithful to each other, busy schedules and with 2 or more gowing kids, I would be sceptical if anyone says they are getting it more than 3 times a week and 3 times would be a stretch for most weeks at that. At that stage of life, the emphasis is heavy on quality, rather than quantity.

Please do not ask how 23 years old Mmotimo knows all this

@OP,

I like your post. If more people knew what they were looking for before getting married, Naija marriages would be happier.

You should be proud of yourself for at least having some basic criteria. In the end, you may not achieve all but at least, if you settle or less, it would be with conscious thought so that you don't turn around later to complain she's not what you wanted.

If you can't stand for something, you are bound to fall for anything. No perfect spouse out there, you just have to decide which imperfection you can tolerate.

God be praised

Pretty gal

@ ziva07,

I salute your courage and focus
It is not an affordable economic choice for most Naija families, and even for those whom can afford it, the fear of what their fellow Naijas would say is enough to deter them.
It takes a special kind of Naija woman to do what you've done and your kids will thank you for it
Wait for those that will come and make derogatory comments about your choice, that, unfortunately, is how it works around Nland
Just remember that you do not know people's backgrounds, people speak from what they feel/what they have seen/what they are going through:
A person that had an abusive father who terrorised both his working wife and their children will find it hard to encourage a choice like that because deep down, children of abusers know they may become one too
A person who lost both or one parents at a young age and dealt with the harsh economic fallout will find it hard to make the choice
A person with an unstable marital relationship will find it hard
A wife who is the breadwinner would find it hard
A person with heavy external family commitments will find it hard
A party bird with attendant aso ebi commitments will find it hard
The list goes on but I think you get my drift

Please do not leave room for naysayers and destroyers to put mouth in your arrangement, watch out for those that will say your husband will become an abuser and turn you to a slave. You know your spouse, don't give room to cynics
Like you, I made the choice when our kids were younger and I would do it again if I had to. Is our household the better for it? A resounding YES.
You are not just "breeding children" you are raising leaders of their generation, brilliant minds that will make you and your husband proud. Continue to make sure you are at every game, every award ceremony, every milestone possible and don't forget to take pictures, be there for them. It's not forever, God is faithful and will make it worth your while in every way.
Blessed are you
I wish you well

Holy are you Lord
Holy is your name
With everything I've got
My heart will sing, how I love you

@ Post

When did it take long?
Use a pressure cooker, they've been around for decades
Good for boiling meat too

Good at cooking all Naija meals I enjoy eating

@RR

Congrats, your Royal Modship

@Topic

I have a conviction that I can achieve whatever I set my mind to do. If I can target it, it will come to pass because I will dedicate all to making it a reality

@Topic

I have just about resigned myself to the likelihood that our kids will not speak Yoruba, certainly not the same way we speak it and I am satisfied with them just being able to understand it.
In the past, it used to bother me, but that was a long time ago
Now, I don't dwell on that sentiment, I am more focused on the potential that exist in their minds, the impact they can make on society, the possibilities that exist for them and what we, as parents, can contribute towards that
Incidentally, ability to speak Yoruba has no bearing on that
The sentiment is a "nice to have" not a "need to have" Ability or inability to speak their mother tongue does not and can never define them.


As for proud or no proud, I think that convo belongs amongst those with inactive minds, when did that become an effizy thing

Conspiracy theories when the world is moving on, smh

Rich assets, poor taste